#so I’m upset and I go outside to where a massive white heron is

[nightly-ruse]

I feel like I should get to not question reality every single day at least for lesbian visibility week. Let me have this plz

#just let me be a lesbian in peace and not always spiral into whether any of this is real #I had the worst fucking dream and it completely ruined my day genuinely #I was not me. some girl with black hair that was a lot young and I was going on the bus with my older sister #it was normal. we step on the bus then it cuts back to like another day #and as I’m getting up from the porch to go to the bus my mom in this persons life stabs my #dad and I just watch #and I call the police bc WTF JUST HAPPENED #and as I’m calling the lady on the phone is asking me again and again if I need someone #and suddenly my hands aren’t so small their larger. I’m not a little girl I’m all grown up #and I’ve just called 911 in a fit of remember a past trauam #the lady starts shaming me and saying crazy ladies need to stop calling #so I’m upset and I go outside to where a massive white heron is #and we talk. I feed him I fill up the fountain in our yard #but I keep questioning if he’s real #bc randomly he just switches to a boy that looks like me #we walk up the road and are called crazy by these kids playing hopscotch who don’t let him join in #ofc I’m angry bc their being mean to my son who is also a heron but maybe not? #and as I’m walking back home with my heron/son beside me he disappears and I wake up #just gasping trying to know if my son was real if he was a heron or if he was even a boy #and mind you I am not me. I’m a whole new person the ‘parents’ are not my own look nothing like my own family #I’ve also never had a porch that leads to the road or had my #mom kill my dad obv. or a son obv #it’s just plagued my day. it felt so real. not knowing if any of it was real felt so vivid and strong #it almost hurt. like I feel #like I can’t breathe now #it’s just confusing #my dreams #vent tag #kinda is I mean it wasn’t a fun experience #ruse rambles