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iwanthermidnightz · 10 months

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When I think back on the Speak Now album, I get a lump in my throat. I have a feeling it will always be that way, because this period of time was so vibrantly aglow with the last light of the setting sun of my childhood. I made this album, completely self-written, between the ages of 18 and 20. I've spoken about how I feel like those ages are the most emotionally turbulent ones in a persons life. Maybe when I say that, I'm really just talking about myself.

I think they might just be the most idealistic, hopeful years too. At this point in my life, I had released my second album, Fearless. It became the breakthrough moment I'd always dreamt of, one that catapulted my career to new realms of success. It had brought with it a tidal wave of pressures and pitfalls and growing pains. All the while, I was encountering the milestones and checkpoints of normal teenage growth. I had cataclysmic crushes and brushes with heartache. I moved out of my parents' house and set my bags down in a new apartment. I hung photos on my own walls and decorated the space where I would sob and cackle and shatter and dream. Sometimes I felt like a grown up, but a lot of the time I just wanted to time travel back to my childhood bed, where my mom would read stories to me until I fell asleep.

In my darker moments, I was tormented by the doubt that swirled loudly around my ascent and my merits as an artist. I was trying to create a follow up to the most awarded country album in history, while staring directly into the face of intense criticism. I had been widely and publicly slammed for my singing voice and was first encountering the infuriating question that is unfortunately still lobbed at me to this day: does she really write her songs? Spoiler alert: I really, really do.

In the years since, I've developed a thicker skin about public criticism and the cynicism with which some people approach the music I make. At that time, it leveled me. I had these voices in my head telling me that I had the perfect chance and I blew it. I hadn’t been good enough. I had given it all I had and been found wanting.

I wanted to get better, to challenge myself, and to build on my skills as a writer, an artist, and a performer. I didn't want to just be handed respect and acceptance in my field. I wanted to earn it. To try and confront these demons, I underwent extensive vocal training and made a decision that would completely define this album: I decided I would write it entirely on my own. I figured, they couldn't give all the credit to my cowriters if there weren't any. But that posed a new challenge: It really had to be good. If it wasn't, I would be proving my critics right.

I had no idea how much this pain would shape me. That this was the beginning of my series of creative choices made by reacting to setbacks with defiance. That my stubbornness in the face of doubters and dissenters would become my coping mechanism through my entire career from that point forward. This exact pattern of enacting my own form of rebellion when I feel broken is exactly why you're reading these very words, and I'm re-releasing this album now.

I went through my first worldwide scandal (the mic grab seen around the world). I experienced the weirdness of trying to get to know a boy while a swarm of paparazzi surrounds the car. Media contacting my publicist for an official statement on why two teenagers broke up. These are weird experiences to have at any age, but even more surreal when you're 19.

I had the nagging sense that in the most intense moments of my life, I had frozen. I had said nothing publicly. I still don't know if it was out of instinct, not wanting to seem impolite, or just overwhelming fear. But I made sure to say it all in these songs. I decided to call the album Speak Now. It was a play on the speak now or forever hold your peace' moment in weddings, but for me it symbolized a chance to respond to the chatter and commentary around my own life.

Some of these emotional revelations were surprising to people. Some expected anger and instead got compassion and empathy with 'Innocent'. Some expected a kiss-off breakup song but instead got a hand-on-heart apology, 'Back to December. It was an album that was the most precious to me because of its vast extremes. It was unfiltered and potent. In my mind, the saddest song I've ever written is 'Last Kiss'. My most scathing is 'Dear John' and my most wistfully romantic is 'Enchanted'.

I'll be forever proud of setting a goal and seeing it through. I'lI always feel shivers all over when I remember singing 'Long Live' to close the show every night on tour. The outstretched hands of those bright and beautiful faces of the fans. Their support was like an open palm that reached out and helped me up off the ground when others were, frankly, mean.

These days I make my choices for those people, the ones who thought I had been good enough all along. I try to speak my mind when I feel strongly, in the moment I feel it. I'm still idealistic and earnest about the music I make, but I'm less crushed when people mock me for it. I know now that one of the bravest things a person can do is create something with unblinking sincerity, to put it all on the line. I still sometimes wish I was a little kid again in a tiny bed, before I ever grew up.

I always looked at this album as my album, and the lump in my throat expands to a quivering voice as I say this. Thanks to you, dear reader, it finally will be.

I consider this music to be, along with your faith in me, the best thing that's ever been mine.

Yours,

Taylor

#taylor swift #speak now (taylor’s version)#speak now tv #sntv prologue #speak now taylor’s version #sntv

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florencewellch · 9 days

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The way the last kinda fun album release was Midnights 😭

#with sntv the booklet leaked and everyone was fighting about the btr lyric change #with 1989 tv there was the whole discourse about the prologue #now there's so many things going on in my dash (not in a good way)

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likeadevils · 10 months

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taylor casually mentioning that fearless is the most awarded country album in history in the sntv prologue is absolute queen shit

#txt*

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septembersghost · 9 months

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Do you think the SNTV era was awfully short? I've seen people saying she's embarrassed of that album but that doesn't feel true to me

it WAS short, but i don't think it has anything to do with her not being proud of the album! her love and pride for it is very clear in the prologue. i do think revisiting it was unexpectedly difficult for her in a couple of ways and stirred up some things (and that's evident, to me, in WCS), but her joy about it and in celebrating it and adding long live to the set list was palpable. speak now is representative of interesting transitional moments - the origin of some regrets, hurts, and ghosts that have haunted her, some big and newly grown up life experiences, the necessity to prove herself after the smash success of fearless (even though speak now is her third album, sometimes it seemed like it got wrongly treated as a bit of a sophomore slump by critics), it's also an expansion in her voice and writing, experimenting with new genres, with much longer songs. it's truly a bridge between fearless and red on many levels, but that doesn't make it less great on its own merit.

the relatively short timeframe for the re-recording probably had a couple of reasons - one, i think she had intended it to come out sooner, but it got delayed by those trademark issues like 1989 may have with the SIO suit, so the pivot was to midnights, which ended up being really smart and fortuitous. i think she's also wanted to gauge the re-recordings appropriately to avoid fatigue, and it looks like 1989 is going to be a bigger event (understandably), or at the very least she wanted to do those special editions and didn't want to oversaturate everyone too quickly. tour has provided its own promo and SNTV slotted into that perfectly. i really believe she wants to conclude the re-recording project with eras, and that rep/debut will come out next year, so she's gauging each release smartly and giving them their own little moments. it's definitely not disregard or less love for that record, it just seems like measured strategy to me. 💜

#i love sntv so much i feel like we haven't discussed it enough #anonymous #letterbox #thrown out speeches

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buticanfixhim · 10 months

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There's a sntv prologue ok guys blocking the tag sntv spoilers TAG UR STUFF PLZ

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mariamastermind · 4 months

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I think SNTV is loved in a way 1989 tv never will by Taylor and her team (this includes her band, singers, and promo), and 1989 tv is hated (strong word, ik, but I can’t think of another that works) in a way that SNTV never will. SNTV got a release party, music video, listening party on Twitter (X), a Grammy Museum pop up, lyric merch, set list change, 3 variations of the vinyl, and one consecutive cover. Maybe it’s just me and my SNTV loving self all alone here, but that’s a lot. I mean, a whole stadium for 2 nights in a row wore purple no matter what era they were dressing as. Taylor literally almost CRIED while singing what could very well possibly be one of (if not her favorite) her favorite songs she’s ever written. Taylor said in the prologue for the album “I’ve always considered this album as my album.” You can’t deny the love she has for it no matter how many “OMG TAY HATES SNTV” jokes swifties will make. That album is her album and is so special to her no matter what.

1989 is forever going to be iconic, no doubt. Taylor will forever love it, but I’m sure that re-recording it caused her a lot of pain. The songs are fun and so are the memories, but certain behind-the-scenes memories not so much. There was so much pent up emotions and if I were her I’d have probably broken down several different times just from remembering. I just feel like 1989 was missing something. It got 4 variations and tons of merch, but Taylor didn’t really do anything special if you really look at it, you know? I’ve been thinking about her announcement post and how she said it was her favorite re-record. Her reasoning was the vault songs, not the OG tracks. Maybe I’m digging too much, but I feel like it’d be her all time favorite album if she just said “favorite album” or “favorite re-record”.

Either way, they’re both iconic. I just wanted to share this because why not

#taylor swift #swifties #1989 taylor's version #party like it’s 1989 #speak now taylor’s version #long live taylor’s version

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