#sir ​give me your face

[columboscreens]

#columbo #season 2 #the most dangerous match #columbos at his best when he has that slightly kooky glint in his eye giving you genuine practical concrit on your first degree homicide #sir i--SIR LISTEN TO ME IT COULDA BEEN *GOOD* #dontcha wanna know for NEXT TIME? #columbo knows how to make it really look like an accident. take notes #makes the :3 face while dissolving your hacksawed body parts in a vat of hydrochloric acid like a macbeth witch

[andy-clutterbuck]

#excuse me but The Nose™ #Andrew Lincoln #* #andygifs #can you make one of these at Build A Bear? #his face is so soothing #me being obsessed with a man's hands? must be a day that ends in y #profile that'd make renaissance sculptors green with envy #Michelangelo gonna just throw David in the river and give up #then come haunt me for saying that #excuse me sir please put your forearms away thank you #n e c k #also his arm hair but i'm not gonna be that weird right now

[lassieposting]

Fedyor and Ivan, hovering in the hallway outside the war room, playing the world's quietest game of rock paper scissors ("best of three!") to decide who has to go firmly separate the General from the Little Palace's best vodka and put his ass to bed and maybe talk him through how to process getting ghosted by a girl like a normal person

#sab headcanons #listen i am terribly soft for ivan/fedyor Mom-Friending kirigan #give me ivan draping a blanket over him and turning out the light when sasha conks tf out at his desk #fedyor bringing him dinner when he gets caught up in work and forgets to eat all day bc if u wont come to the food the food will come to u #long-suffering exasperatedly fond manservants & boss who is both highly competent and a total moron #ivan blankly listening to kirigan strategise at 90mph because he has An Idea and hes using ivan as a web dev's rubber duck #'i just smile and nod. i have no idea what he's on about but i dont think that actually matters to him' #long and involved debates on long journeys in the black carriage because its awkward otherwise #sharing A Look™ across the room when like. david does something weird or the queen is condescending or the king is an asshole #'yes sir i took notes that whole meeting bc you had your Mooning Over The Sun Summoner face on' #ivan kaminsky #fedyor kaminsky #sab

[sleepanonymous]

I couldn't get my brain off those pictures that I posted a couple hours ago of Vessel bothering III so I dove into YouTube and found this 🥹❤️Have some live footage of menace Vessel bothering III (it cuts off during the end breakdown but 🤷‍♀️)

#sleep token #vessel sleep token #iii sleep token #vessel #iii #also ii og iv and the keyboardist #video #youtube video #flash warning #song nazareth #the way ves goes from standing fetal position to “let me lick your face iii” in 15 seconds is astounding to me #and the way he pushes og iv at 2:34 like *sir why* #someone give this man attention #he's like a cat #or the daughter in that one child psychologist snl skit #also what was ves singing at the end of jaws 👁️👄👁️ #secret jaws outro lyrics where?!?!? #i'm not gonna get anything done today i swear

[rainbowcolored7]

This show is a comedy actually

#dead friend forever #dead friend forever the series #dff the series #congratulations on your flawless face sir #ta out here making me have to pause cause i'm wheeze crying from laughter #he said alright imma hear you out BUT wtaf #i love the camp but also theyre all giving me a headache

[sezja]

Tonight's Jeryk post is. I was today years old when I realized he's got a scar over one eye

What happened to you

#twine boys #i doubt it's why he lets his bangs grow out so much #he doesn't strike me as particularly self-conscious about his appearance #but by golly it sure did hide it from me! #it's just such a fascinating character design decision!! #this big nasty scar over his eyebrow and then... hidden by his hair and his big hat #my GOD what hidden lore did they give this character #custom face. distinct hidden scar. sir. tell me your secrets.

[zhivchik]

#to sir with love #argh get outta here with your faces #but give me a call when you have the 2nd drama #i want to to see if you can do the thing i sometimes think you can't #and sometimes i think you can -- too good #🤔😂

[see-arcane]

Hi, love your analysis of Nope. Have you seen the Jupiter's claim website? It really is something else when you know the context behind everything(also it doesn't do cookies which is a big plus honestly)

I have checked out the Jupiter's Claim site! And maybe played the token game a few times. It's a fun little thing, and suitably Ominous+ when the change hits. It's a good tie-in to the movie, I think 🐎🛸

#Mr. Jordan Peele sir I am sorry for flying in the face of your movie's message #but I legitimately wish there were some merch to peruse for your film #I want a Lucky horse and a Jean Jacket plush #plus the mandatory graphic tees #let me give you my money sir #I was so hoping there'd be genuine Nope goods on the site but no #please Mr. Peele my crops are withering #Jupiter's Claim #Nope #Nope 2022 #jordan peele

[agentbluefox]

Thinking about Face in ‘Beneath the Surface.’

The whole episode, everyone keeps talking basically about what a handful he was growing up, scamming the other kids in the orphanage, basically being the same old Face we know. But frankly, the things he did are pretty mild? it’s not like he was some holy terror, he was just a little boy who was good at selling a lie.

At first he’s defending himself, saying it was his ‘training ground’ or whatever, but as the episode progresses, we see that he really does seem to feel bad about being such a handful as a kid. Which... he was a little boy. He wasn’t in the best situation. And I’m not saying that lying and cheating is the right way to deal with things, but it’s understandable. He was a little kid in a world that had already proved itself to be unfair. And the worst thing he did it seems, was to sell his friend a fake treasure map.

Then towards the end, we get this scene here:

Face is once again apologizing (in his own way) for how he acted when they were younger. And then Barry drops this bomb.

So while Face scammed his friend out of a concert ticket, Barry scammed Face out of a family. Seemingly with no remorse. Sure, he tells Face about it here, but he says it like it’s no big deal. Even seems to think it’s funny.

Now if Face had been there, who knows if he would have been adopted in Barry’s place. Maybe, maybe not. But the point is that they believed Barry was Templeton Peck (or Alvin Brenner - depending what his name was at this point), and they adopted him believing that. (What I really want to know how the orphanage didn’t catch that but that requires more brain power than I’m putting into this post lol)

Face is the one consistently shown to want or even need that sense of belonging and of family (and also the first one to balk when he finally gets something close). To suddenly have it dropped on him so casually that he could have had it, that he almost did have it, maybe when he needed it most, seems especially cruel.

It’s in the past - a long time in the past by now - but no doubt it got him thinking about how different things could have been.

#I’m just ranting - don’t mind me #this scene makes me unreasonably angry lol #and then HANNIBAL #SIR #YOU’RE LAUGHING #YOUR SON JUST GOT DESTROYED AND YOU’RE LAUGHING #I’m choosing to believe that #Hannibal gives him a pat on the shoulder later and just casually says something about him already having a family #and then face is just standing there like ‘huh' #the a team #character analysis #Templeton Peck #faceman #hannibal smith #the a-team #and I’m not saying face is innocent by any means #but once again - he was just a little kid #and it feels like conning your frend out of concert tickets isn’t quite as bad as lying about who you are and getting adopted as your buddy #part of me feels like this was a set-up on Barry’s part #the way he says “that was part of the deal - remember?” #posted at an hour too late to be having coherent thoughts #I can write a whole freaking essay on this tiny scene from a tv show from the 80s - meanwhile my essay on Marcus Aurelius #remains regretfully unfinished #the agent speaks

[the-trans-dragon]

What’s the appropriate way for me to respond to customers handing me religious pamphlets/cards? I’m not worried about getting fired btw.

#sorenhoots #I was considering eating the pamphlet but that isn’t fun in practice. only theory #I considered crumpling it up and throwing it in their face but that might count as like. attacking lol. #like I have so much to say. maybe I should just vent at them about how Christianity left me broken and hopeless and [redacting details]. #not for their benefit. just to drag them through my incredibly painful emotions. maybe to make them suffer with me. maybe just to vent #without worrying about how my vent will impact them. #the first one took his card back when I said no. the second left his pamphlet and the TONE he used when he told me to read it. THE TONE. #was like a parent telling a toddler to eat their vegetables. ‘we’ll give it a try. it’s good for you. it’s got good stuff in it’ #god I wish I had facial recognition so I could refuse to check him out next time. #the first guy has a memorable appearance so I’ll never check him out again. #but that fucking second one. ohhhhh I was so mad. I went on break and went straight to the warehouse #to break down boxes for the bailer. exercise is very regulating for me! I felt much better afterwards #BUT I WANT TO SAY SOMETHING NEXT TIME. either funny. or scathing. or rude as all hell. or anything. #anything that will let me feel like I have some control over the situation. I can’t make them take back their pamphlet… well I could. lol. #Sir do NOT leave your trash here. I am not a trash can. you can throw it away down there #where our trash can is located. #anyways another guy tipped me $2 so that was real nice

[redrobin-detective]

It’s hard to be a Doctor Who fan when you have a slight fear of one of the most popular Doctors

#there's something about his manic energy and facial expression that gives me the creeps #his face sometimes hits uncanney valley territory which! great for the character! bad for me!! #also one time i binged like 14 straight hours of tom baker who and fell alseep and had a nightmare with him #that I can't remember now but it really shook me at the time #he's a great doctor but like sir #put your eyes back in your face plz

[dkettchen]

*sees a single lgbt+ themed ad outside of June*

Ah yes, corporate pride month never ends now 

#it's like the forever purge oh boy #I thought we were safe #the sirens went off marking the beginning of july I THOUGHT WE WERE SAFE NOW AAAAH #like yes give nonbinary actors jobs but also fucking hell if a cis man tells me he uses he/him pronouns to my face and then gingerly asks me #how I'd like to be referred to as if he's walking on egg shells through this interaction I will cease wanting to work there #like holy hell be chill sir get that stick out your ass #indeed who tf wrote this for you #don't teach the allies this stuck-up nonsense #put an optional preferred name & pronouns field on your forms #learn to fix it and move on if you mess up #understand that some people don't *have* preferred pronouns or might still change them #or are straight up not out or ready to tell you a quasi-stranger that stuff yet

[lebrookestore]

everyone else posted baby pictures but he makes me suffer

#ALL BLACK SUIT IM SORRY I JUST GOTTA *SCREAM INTO HAND* #mt dudes im literally hand over mouth shock face looking down #QND ALL BLSCK SUIT THOSE IM SORRY BUT SIR?!?!?! #bro this is so hot i actually may just pass away #the motivation i need to continue doing hindi 💪🏼 #the shoes... idk what those are supposed to be but he works them #the suit the hair the way hes staring at the camera its giving me EVERYTHING #god i am not your strongest soldier i am not even a soldiee i am but a humble simp #going to lie down and scream internally because holy shit #hoLY shit. are we seeing this like my guy ur so hot i think ill just collapse #pretty.... #loml #another episode of brooke loses her shit over a very specific man in his mod twenties and needs to calm the fuck down

[fallenneziah]

Ugh, sorry, more little blurbs while I try to write something cohesive.

Ghost who makes you call him sir in bed when he slaps you across the face, hiking one of your legs up to your stomach, fucking you on your side. "So good, little slut, so precious." He growls. Telling you to beg him louder, tell him how much you fucking like it when you take his cock deep inside your slutty hole. "Take that cock! Fuckin' take it, beg for it until I see those sweet tears."

Vs.

Simon who breathes you on, practically humps you, hands holding your stomach and smoothing over you arched hips off the bed. "Love... fuck, you're so good... like heaven around me-" Telling you how good you're being for him without him even having to ask you. "Taking it so deep, so fuckin' deep in that cock, all for me. All for me baby..." Driving his cock deep inside you, kissing your ear and telling you just have good you sound when you take it deep.

Keegan who handcuffs you to the bed, watching you moan and bounce with your wrists bound to the headboard. His hand firm in your messy hair, watching you cry as he ruthlessly bullies his thick cock deep inside you. "Look at you, all messed up just for me..." His pelvis slamming between your thighs with each heartbeat. "Fuckin' moan for me baby! Scream my name! Oh that's it! That's it get louder!"

Vs.

Keegan who handcuffs your wrists in front of you, giving him free will go tug on them. Leaning down to kiss your mouth open, tugging the cuffs lightly to push you down on his cock. "Fuck... Fuck baby you're gonna drive me crazy like that." He purrs against your lips, rolling his eyes and fucking his hips into you. "All up on my cock like that. Oh baby you make me want it-" Hearing you whimper into his mouth and kiss him back, feeling you taking his cock, it's all he needs.

König who loves to make your little back arch. Telling you to bend more or he'd break you. Firm hands on either side of your hips as he watches his cock slide deeply in and out of you. "Such a little thing I get the pleasure of breaking. Such a good little thing for me!" Telling you if you keep acting like such a slut he'll fill you up deep with it. "Quiet maus, I don't want the neighbors to hear what a filthy thing you are!"

Vs.

König who pants softly, hands on your hips bouncing you along his thick cock. Watching your stomach bulge slightly or your hole stretch, the tip of his cock pressing into the wall of your body. Watching your eyes flutter and you moan and moan around him. "I love you, I love you precious little thing..." Eyelids fluttering when he sees you crumble under your shaking thighs and the weight of your orgasm. "Oh so good liebling... Fuck, so so good.."

#simon ghost riley #simon riley #simon riley x reader #cod smut #simon ghost riley x reader #cod mw2 #simon ghost riley x reader smut #call of duty #keegan p russ #keegan russ x reader #cod keegan #könig smut #könig x y/n #könig call of duty #könig x reader #könig cod #konig x you #konig smut #konig cod #konig x reader #konig mw2 #rough vs gentle?? #something like that #couldnt tell if i wanted something soft or rough

[thecherrygod]

man if youve never made a pdf on your phone and have no idea how it works you cant get mad if you ask others if they know how to and they say "it depends".

#my posts #... this is just a ramble thats also a circle and if you give me room to do it i will say the same 5 things for an hour #so these are the last tags on this post that im moving as the firsts as a warning. actual rant: #im a computer person i can make you a pdf on a computer in a few moments most likely out of anything #but already the idea of copy pastin an image on a word document from my phone and making it the size i want and everything #its just. bad #its. making a pdf out of a text youve written? also in a few moments. i assume making it out of what. excel and powerpoint and whatever #is easy too but #do you want to put an image from your phone on any of these? youve already lost me there #so really. it depends #and then he has the nerve to complain people dont give him a straight answer!!!!!!!!!!!! #sir you know how to cook rice and risotto but not a paella its as easy as that knowing how to work a computer doesnt mean shit #'look just. show me what you need to make as a pdf' 'i dont have it it yet >:/' why are you doing this to me. #sir you are IN BED. AT 10 PM. ITS NOT TIME FOR THIS. #its also the kind of thing that there is a chance he can already download as a pdf to begin with i hate it here #'but i dont have a pdf app ive never made a pdf idk how this works!' i. am gonna go lay face down on a river #sir its also friday night i want to relax i only went there bc the dog wanted to leave my room and go to your bed. why are you like this #.... its not that im mad he doesnt know how to do it himself. thats not the issue #but... its both a 'thats no way to say anything to someone you are asking for help' and 'the world isnt black or white' thing. #man. at first he wasnt even saying what he needed as a pdf and i just assumed he had the thing. #mainly bc he was talking about a screenshot so truly making an image a pdf from your phone...... is bad #i mean its gonna be easier than what im saying but ive also never really tried dealing with imaged on word on google docs on my phone #i just know that sometimes it doesnt even go from your phone to the file like its already bad to put it there lmao #he just makes me very tired. why is it so hard to just be like. accept people around you can maybe not know things #man. i can work a computer mostly no issues #a phone? give me a few tries #is it bc my mom had to do something with scanning and making something a pdf a few days ago that we managed to do relatively quick #bc. sir. we did that with computers. not phones. #i will continue to say it. its not the same. its probably easy too but. havent tried and id rather never have to do it #i prefer computers over phones for most things

[cursingtoji]

listening to ghost and soap infamous “are you ugly?” conversation and not being able to stop thinking about what ghost meant by “quite the opposite”

you’re used to having him wearing his mask even whenever you two escape to blow off some steam, but since that day you’ve been building up some courage to ask the same thing soap tried to.

“take it off” you murmur with your lips inches away from his mask while setting a pace riding him.

Ghost, who was spread out on the couch raised his head, “y’r gettin’ spoiled, brat. last week was a kiss now you want my whole face?” he gives your ass a mean slap.

“’s not fair” you pout, whilst you are completely naked every time, simon only removes his shirt when you beg, maybe lowers his pants down to his ankles instead of just enough to let out his cock, but that’s it.

“Aight, want me to lose the mask?” he takes your black shirt, folding it sloppily until it’s narrow then he puts around your eyes tying on the back of your head.

“simon! no!” you raise your hands to undo it, he’s faster though, taking both your wrists and holding in the air. you hear some fumbling and suddenly your palms are being tickled by a stubble, you gasp realizing under your hands is ghost’s uncovered face.

“keep ridin’” he demands, adjusting his body to lay lower and thrusting you from bellow as a reminder he’s still inside.

you bite your lips, needing to put a hand on his chest as support, your other hand explores his face trying to paint a mental image of him.

his jawline is sharp, a few uneven parts along his skin, probably scars, there’s more hair on his chin than the rest of his jaw and to imagine simon with a blond goatee make you clench.

“shit” he curses tightening the grip on your hips, “what’re you so excited ‘bout, private? huh?” he pinches your nipple. you run your fingertips on his bottom lip, it’s thin and he could use some lip balm, but the excitement about touching him in such a intimate way gives you hope to one day convince him to let you apply lip balm on his lips, “behave” he growls.

“‘m behaving, sir” you smile sheepishly forgetting he can actually see your face. ghost takes your hand, making you close it and leaving just your index up. under the improvised blindfold you frown, next his lips are wrapping around your finger and his tongue is under your digit.

your clit throbs, not expecting this from your lieutenant.

“fuck, Lt.” you arch your back, approaching your orgasm.

“faster” both his hands are gripping your ass, he groans and you feel the vibration on your finger. you obey as one does, slapping your ass on his mighty thighs, as he sucks your finger, even letting some saliva run down your palm.

“si-mon ‘m close” you lose yourself on the sensation, seeing nothing makes you more aware of the stretch his cock gives you, not to mention the sounds your lieutenant is trying to hold. with one last suck he removes your finger, moving it to your own clit, where he presses it on your bud.

“cum then” you’re so close, but that’s one thing you still want.

“can i kiss you?” you edge yourself waiting for his answer, he sighs and you take it as a negative response, but his other hand leaves your ass as he guides your face to his where his lips awaited yours, he immediately pushes his tongue in, that’s merely your second kiss and you’re already coming.

“louder, i think the terrorists haven’t heard ya” he teases when you moan a high pitched note.

“fuck you, sir” you’re still riding him intensely, knowing he’s close too. he bites your lip, forcing your hips up and down faster and groaning as he fills your insides.

by the time you remove the blindfold, his mask is back on and you sigh in defeat, moving away from his lap and getting one last spank.

“goatee” you whisper in soap’s ear as he is about to eat his morning scrambled eggs.

“wut?” he turns to you.

“he has a goatee” you wink and leave to get your own breakfast. poor johnny is still processing what was said when ghost enters the room, later than usual.

soap drops his fork.

#cod fanfic #simon riley x reader #ghost x you #ghost x reader #cod x you #cod x reader #cod smut #simon riley smut