#since i am bad at names i didn't come up with any colony names

[whatudottu]

It's been a bit since I've rambled about xenobiology headcanons, and this time because I've been thinking about Andreas I thought today's edition would be about talpaedans, seeing as how I made a list that I haven't put into a post yet-

Let's go!

Between all members of talpaedan youth and development, there is an innate basic understanding of construction, as comparable to human's ability to recognise patterns and facial language (give or take a few neurodivergencies). And specific construction comprehension is linked to whatever tool talpaedan youth are integrated in, which develops over time based on what materials are consumed (a diet of concrete may make cement mixers, or a diet that requires a lot of digging may develop jackhammers) as well of course the genes of the parent/s.

And on to that 'parent/s' thing, let's bring up haplodiplody again.

On Earth, haplodiplody is the system where one sex is developed from a fertilised egg (which tends to be the females) and thus are diploid with DNA of the mother and father, while the other sex is from an unfertilised egg (males would technically be the result of asexual reproduction) and thus is only haploid with only the mother providing DNA. Talpaedans are not an Earth species, but functionally that is the basis of their sex-determination, where females would be best translated as architects and males best translated as tradies, which in of itself is rather contextually slang in English.

And even with haplodiplody, talpaedans still have a bimodal sex distribution, though tradies are neither part of the equation. Instead, fertilised eggs though typically expected to produce architects also just as often produce workers, non-reproducing talpaedan youths that are born an raised to be the most common labourers of the colony they were born under and never leave the hive, as opposed to architects who work higher profile jobs and are in line to be promoted to site queens, and tradies who pre-war were lower rung workers who took to training younglings for work as well as in general raising them. Being bimodal it's not a perfect list of traits to be considered as either an architect or a worker, though there is a bias towards architects being able to reproduce as that would be the key factor needed in promotion. Tradies that are infertile or more characteristically architects would be considered workers and are more of a consequence of asexual reproduction and the lack of genetic diversity.

Talpaedan gender has been typically correlated with sex throughout most Poiana Lüncas colonies, with the architects being the talpaedan equivalent for women and tradies as the talpaedan equivalent for men, but workers have a more diverse gender identity even in more conservative colonies, either being a third gender or having men and women and in between identities being formally acknowledged as such in worker populations. There might be a few general issues about identity especially among architects and tradies, but colonies are less focused on the individual and most of their aggression is directed to other colonies rather than it's own population.

It is this tension towards other colonies that had eventually and near inevitably sent Poiana Lüncas into many wars, though the most recent one had been the worst and the last in many years, a war that fundamentally changed how intercolonial relationships worked. A very large colony had been expanding it's borders to accrue even more resources for it's ever growing population, in turn threatening the smaller colonies on it's outer borders, elevating tensions to an all time high. The whole shtick lasted for years until a few colonies realised that alone no one could stop this large megacolony from wiping out each of them one by one, but through an alliance they could stand together and beat the ever loving crap out of the aggressor.

And how their alliance worked was through the sharing of resources and ensuring the protection of youths especially, and so began the first war-era runs of arranged 'marriages' as tradies live up to their name in a more eh... dubious sense. By sending in tradies (who's lower rung work was mining for resources and food) from colonies not on the front line, the colonies along the border had assurances that their home had well fed and well protected populations - as well as a general diverting of power - to beat back the aggressor colony and in fact not only raze it to the ground, but dug it completely out and functionally turned it into a mass grave reeking of death; No Queen's Land it would later be named, for no surviving members of the colony were left alive to name it after themselves.

With a combination of a clearly war-created desert and the whole 'ant death smell' thing that exists in ants aka the big inspiration for my talpaedan headcanons, makes No Queen's Land an omen that trade routes never cross, instead creating what would be a ring road surrounding the outer reaches of the ex-colony that would direct trade routes through the border colonies one by one. Direct trade or travel between the colonies on complete opposite sides of the pock marked, crater desert is both impossible and otherwise detested by Queens and the architects responsible for trade routes, instead being a multicolonial multigenerational process that circles the border colonies until reaching the 'opposite side of the world'.

To this day (or at least to the day that exists universally in the moment that Andreas would consider a 'this day') the trade routes affect the lives of tradies post-war. Instead of being completely locked to the hive like workers and architects, tradies at a certain age are sent to travel in as both tradesmen and concubines to whatever colony they have been raised for, a fact that had been determined early on at the development of their tools and the needs of the recipient colony. The host colony would arrange their young to be raised by tradies that once came from their own host colony, determined by their last name of [birth colony-trade colony] (as opposed to architects and workers whose last names are simply [birth colony]) in order to be raised as bilingual to understand the majority language of their trade colony and to be an example of the future youth they would need to raise speaking their birth colony's language.

Andreas was on one such trade route when Aggregor snatched the talpaedan for materials in functionally a fusion experiment, being part of a group about to be married off to a queen, an architect or as a working tradie, technically 'divorcing' the deal when Andreas was stolen away. Considering that Poiana Lüncas isn't the most peaceful environmentally, the trade routes also serve as a double use, a sharing of resources and a preventative measure for overpopulation. I mean, a colony would be pissed if absolutely none of their trade gets to them - probably spark a conflict that may get hairy - but losing numbers is an expected consequence. Andreas doesn't expect anyone to particularly care that they're missing the one or few talpaedans that disappeared in the night, especially with the generally large number a trade route sends, and Aggregor isn't going to take out a whole line of talpaedans just to get to one; a simple 'cutting off from the group' works fine enough.

And one final thing to note, now more focused on Andreas as an individual rather than talpaedans as a species. I've mentioned death smell and thought to bring it up here since, if you've seen my stuff before or straight up follow me (for my rambling or long enough to see my rambling), I love stealing @kariachi's necromancer Argit and the whole idea of him killing, healing, and reviving Andreas in the titular episode Andreas' Fault. I looked up how ant death smell works and apparently it's a constant thing that's only combated by a constant flow of life smell, so with a brief touch of death even if Andreas doesn't REEK of death, a talpaedan would probably suspect Andreas stepped into No Queen's Land and got cursed by something. But for those of y'all buried deep enough in my rambling would be confused; 'if one can smell actual literal death and associate it as actual literal death why doesn't Andreas at least even slightly suspect the idea of being briefly dead when the castle crashed?'

Well babes, you know what's an easy simple solution for this? Andreas is anosmic :D! Of course Andreas would be the last to know, Andreas' would have no frame of reference for what a 'death smell' is. Could even be how Aggregor got Andreas separated, if everyone else can smell death smell they might notice the fact that No Queen's Land reeks of the stuff. Not a great way to find out that one is anosmic admittedly, but I mean if Ra'ad is finding out that among the many neurodivergencies he does have much of his overstimulated suffering is magic and mutation that he thought every other amperi had to deal with because you find out your husband died and now has a magical mind barrier well...

Okay okay, one more final note. Given that Andreas is a tradie, Andreas's full name would be [birth colony]-Andromeda after the name Andreas actually gets married into because Earth and especially English dominated areas of Earth like last names. And I guess if Andreas gets adopted into any Earth-based packs thanks to being attached to Argit like a puppy you can shove in another last name like [birth colony]-[pack]-Andromeda.

This has been in my notes since August woops-

#talpaedan #andreas #andreas ben 10 #ben 10 #xenobiology #world building #this has been a large general and specific headcanons thing that i have been rotating in my mind for forever #even longer than when it was actually documented in at least dot point form #since i am bad at names i didn't come up with any colony names #though i could probably just look at fault lines and the people who study earthquakes maybe #eh if i come up with something i might just go around in a circle going 'who needs a last name and who can make do' for the andromeda 5 #which includes andreas but also might include galapagus because of that one elder i brought up once inspired by diego the species saviour #also i just came up with architect worker and tradies because i didn't like how females drones and males sounded #also i thought that the double entendre for 'tradies' was far too fitting for what i wanted to ignore #like they'd be the closet translation in english for poiana lüncas languages in a general sense #as in the work type influences the origin for the name of the sex which would then influence the name of any sex correlated genders #and in this case- sex AND work related terms like trade routes- lowkey the first thing that comes to mind to andreas when you say sex work

[woodsfae]

B5 s02e20 The Long, Twilight Struggle Table of Contents • previous episode

Wow, we're almost to the end of another season! It's been a really good one, despite my own rocky start with its beginning. It's been interesting how my perspective has shifted enough along the way that I had change of minds about my change of minds of some characters. In The Gathering I loved Garibaldi, then came to dislike him for his sexism, police brutality, abuse of position, stalking Talia, being a shit about his ex, and general cop-ness, but the writing really brought me around on him! Weirdly, I now believe he can and will be better.

Almost the same for Londo. I didn't really like him at all, came to like him a little, then was to be SO disappointed in him that now I'm just fascinated to see how far his moral depravity and Sunk Cost Fallacy-ing will go.

And on to the episode!

Their CGI planet is really lovely and colorful, and does look quite 3d! And it's Centauri Prime (presumably). Must be a Londo episode!

This guy is petting the throne. wtf Refa. Very blunt about the fetishization of power that's going on here.

Londo: "Lord Refa, I have come a long way, and I am tired. Is there a reason I have been summoned here, now?" Refa: "Indeed there is, I have good news. The war which began six months is about to end. Sooner than any of us could have hoped. And you, Londo Mollari, will be the architect of our victory."

ope, the Centauri are about to do some crazy war crimes, I see!

Finally, a sexy transparent glass silhouette showering scene! I've been waiting for this since the show started. Classy of them to make it be Sheridan.

Friendly Draal Planet!!! I hoped to see him again! How delightful! What a bad omen, though.

Delenn is becoming just…transcendently beautiful. The lighting and camera shots, her expressions and grace, are all just astonishing. I am glad she gets to see her friend again. Maybe some of the other serene characters will pop up for a reunion. I'd love to see the little telepath girl who went to Minbari, Janice the Healer, and Thomas Jinxo the Seeker of the Grail again, and I think they'd all get along well (or at least interestingly) together.

Draal, appearing before Sheridan fresh out of his shower: "I've been watching you for quite some time, Captain. And I thought it was time that I introduce myself. My name, is Draal. How do you do." *Minbari bow* Sheridan, damp and be-robed: "Uh, fine. I'm fine." Draal, who has no idea how to talk to humans: "Good. You don't have any idea who I am, do you?" Sheridan, who did his research on B5 tysvm: "Unless there's another Draal who can do what you just did, you're the Minbari who took custody of the planet we're orbiting." Draal: "Ah, Captain, you do not take custody of the planet, the planet takes custody of you!."

This made me laugh really hard. The planet really did take custody of Draal. Near-total isolation, but youth. idk if I'd go for that.

Details…details…lmao Draal.

The Narn…cannot catch a fucking break. Contact with an entire sector of colonies, lost. They're losing, although their official stance is that they're holding their own. I wish them and their counter attack well! One all-out strike with the majority of their forces is a hardcore strategy! They could lose everything.

G'Sten: "If we make them pay, for every inch of space, we can wear them down, prolonging the war beyond their capacity to fight it. Centauri want a quick victory: they don't have the stomach for prolonging the war."

He also says there will always be enough ships to defend their homeworld, but dang that still feels really risky. I am so excited to see a little of G'Kar's family. His uncle! And he's so kind, warm, and loving. The exact opposite of the way they were described by Delenn and the Centauri in season one. They both call the Narn cold, strange, impossible to empathize with. I hate to see anti Narn propaganda! They have risen highly in my estimation and I am rooting for them so hard.

The Centauri are going to bomb Narn from orbit with banned weapons and wipe out much of the entire population. To "save Centauri lives." War crimes, as I thought.

Everything depends on Londo. It's too late to back out. Bringing the pressure and the logical fallacies down on him! He bends, obviously, and is going to reach out to Morden for help carrying out the sick plan.

Londo: "All right. I will bring my assoociates into this, but this is that last time. We are Centauri. If we are to sieze our destiny, we must do it ourselves. After this, no more." What'shisface" "After this there will be no need! Thank you. Cheer up. By the time you return to Babylon 5 the war will be over, and the Narns will be at our feet. This time, we will keep them there."

Exactly. The Narns will not stop resisting, they will eventually gain their freedom again, and there will be another and another. You can't build an empire without horrifically violating sentients' rights, and those sentients are always going to resist.

Love Delenn's outfit today. I hope Draal won't be an ass about her hair.

Aw, so nice, Londo gets to go watch the Centauri genociding the Narns, live and in HD safe on a warship. How thoughtful. May he choke on the sight.

Dr Franklin is a real and good friend and a great anti-fascist comrade. Gathering deets from his Narn patients to give G'Kar as up-to-date as information as he can, as quick as he can.

Draal Planet light hearted B Plot, yay! And Delenn is now experimenting with swearing She used the f-word even! Frag me, she's so great.

Delenn: "Draal? We're here." Draal: "Did you think I hadn't noticed, my old friend? You've changed. I like it."

I'm glad he's not racist to her! That makes two Minbari who have on-screen supported her: Lennier, and now her old mentor. I'm so glad!

But onto the meat of the visit. Draal has been using the planet's resources to gather information, including Sheridan's history and all the plotting Sheridan's been doing. Convenient, and awesome! Powerful allies are badly needed right now. Draal has been studying the universe and the planet, and he's ready for action! And I"m ready to see that action!

"In the long, twilight struggle which lies ahead of us, there is a possibility of hope."

That's a great message, and good repetition of the same sentiment from earlier with G'Kar and G'Sten. I'm afraid G'Sten is going to die, but I hope he lives. The Narns have faced enough tragedy.

Shadow ships coming for G'Sten and his fleet, the evil shits! The CGI has definitely improved from last season to a degree, although it's extremely obvious with the shadow ships. but I love the effect! They are all cgi and thus fake-looking, which I think enhances how out of sync with the normal dimensional bounds they are. I'd be fucking unnerved if I saw something that fake looking in real life.

goodbye G'Sten. :/

There's people on the Draal Planet! Wow, they must be weird.

LOVE this for Delenn. She's needed friends really badly, too!

Zathras!! Is in league with Draal! Cool!! I didn't think we'd see the Space Werewolf again, but this should be fun! JMS's spreadsheets must have been wild.

Narn is in a BAD position. Centauri have Narn surrounded, there's massive destruction and death, and the Narn fleet has been neutralized. An impromptu re-enactment between Narn and Centauri on B5 is underway. Of course.

Narn looks mostly brown and orange from orbit. I wonder what it looked like before the Centauri ever arrived. Bombs underway, Londo watching on while looking sick. Hope he feels even sicker than he looks!

Ineffective response from Minbari and Earth, of course. An atrocity! They condemn it! Really hard! Finger wag! Don't do it again!

:(

G'Kar. What a horrible horrible place to be. Narn plans to surrender. I hope they can snatch victory from the jaws of defeat, but knowing this show, it will be even more grim for them and the universe by the end of the episode. Horrific.

G'Kar is reduced to asking Sheridan for political asylum. If they hand him over to the Centauri…! fuck! That's the kind of dystopian universe this is, too. I hope that won't happen, though.

Ugh. A speech by Londo. What an awful piece of propaganda.

Londo: "A little over five standard hours ago, the conflict which began with the Narn declaration of war, came to and end. The Narn regime has offered complete and unconditional surrender. The terms imposed by the Centauri Republic are as follows. One: the ruling body known as the Kha'ri will be disbanded, and its members subject will be subject to arrest and trial for the commission of war crimes against the Centauri." Sheridan: "Earth requests the right to send observers to these hearings." Londo: "That request is denied. Two: to prevent further acts of terror by the Narn against our people, the penalty for the murder of any Centauri by any Narn will be the execution of five hundred Narns. Including the Perpetrator's own family. Three: a provisional ruling council appointed by my government will take up the responsibility of re-building a more civilized Narn government, as a colony of the great Centauri Republic." Sheridan: "Is there anything else." Londo: "Yes. Just, one thing. Because the Narn homeworld is now a protectorate of the Centauri Republic, we reserve the right to determine who can speak for Narn. As a result, Ambassador G'Kar may no longer represent the Narn in any official capacity whatsoever. His appointment ambassador to Babylon 5 is hereby withdrawn. And as the only member of the Kha'ri still at large, Citizen G'Kar will return to Narn for trial."

"No," quoth Sheridan. Minbari supports Earth and Babylon 5 in this, although Delenn does call him Citizen G'Kar like Londo did. Fuck him, man. He's fully a bootlicker channeling his frustration at his guilt over all the war crimes against the non-Centauri. My least favorite fictional war criminal.

The framing and character work through this scene is WILD. G'Kar, sitting, slumped, not meeting anyone's eyes. Londo, speaking with clear enunciation, racist and imperialist language framed as the ethical, sensible decisions the Narn have forced them to make. G'Kar rising and speaking calmly before leaving when Londo loses his temper and demands, screaming, that G'Kar leave the council room.

G'Kar: "No dictator, no invader can hold an imprisoned population by force of arms forever. There is no greater power in the universe than the need for freedom. Against that power, governments and tyrants and armies cannot stand. The Centauri learned this lesson once. We will teach it to them again. Though it take a thousand years…we will be free."

The Narn will not go quietly.

Centauri is celebrating, they are dancing in the streets on homeworld. Or so the propaganda news broadcast goes.

Sheridan has a very nice speech for G'Kar and offer of support of all his personal assets that can be put towards that aim.

G'Kar: "The last time I took someone's hand we were at war twenty-four hours later." *takes Sheridan's offered hand anyway*

Mad lad.

And now Sheridan's off to a super-secret meeting! Delenn presiding. She has gathered him allies to pledge to Sheridan. Ah, Sinclair's project! <3 Sinclair, good work, buddy. Kosh is there, too! Somehow I doubt he is there to swear TO Sheridan. Along with, benevolently, to help the ants win against the anteater, maybe.

This is an episode of speeches! G'Kar's was terrible and great. Sheridan's falls a little flat. His line has been drawn on the other side of a fascist empire re-enslaving an entire people.

Well. I can only hope for some great and wild successes on the other side of the season finale!

The balance of affection between G'Kar and G'Sten, and Delenn's joyful reunification with Draal and the hope that and Sinclair's rangers inspired were all a much-needed balance against the Narns' current plight, but this was still so heavy and dark. It went there, it did that! Man, the forces of the Light are just fucking crippled without the Narn and their previous resources. All destroyed, and mostly dead, to feed the appetite of the Centauri Empire.

next!

#babylon 5 #G'Kar #many many war crimes #woodsfae b5

[lucere-aeresta]

Some historical details in SHCO:

1. There are no street numbers in Cordona. You have to find a place by locating the streets by name and their relative positioning to find the quest location.

This is a gameplay mechanic but kind of makes sense in the historical background. Before the mid-19th century, not all streets in London had names and none of them had numbers, so all the addresses were descriptive, like "go to X street and turn right at the intersection with Y street, and find the church, then go behind it...etc." Gradually they had street names and numbers but since a lot of streets shared the same name, they had to rename them and reorganize them to make things less confusing. It took a while to have the numbered street address system established.

By the 1880s, London had had modern addresses, but it would make sense in more remote areas, especially colonial islands such as Cordona would be less developed, so the system was not established yet. Also, the island is so tiny that it doesn't need street numbers. So it makes sense that people there use street names together with some descriptions of positioning to address houses and buildings.

2. Mycroft sent child Sherlock (and Jon) to steal a document for him.

It sounds like a very bad thing to do. And for Victorian middle and upper class people, it probably was. But in fact, it is very common for working class people, especially the very poor ones to do regular petty theft and shoplifting, etc, to get food and small household goods. The working class parents would send their children to steal things, such as a couple of eggs, some milk, random small items, etc. As long as they didn't get caught there was no moral burden.

Middle class people had enough income for food and stuff so they didn't have to steal and they probably had more moral judgment against this kind of behavior than the working class, but I suspect they were not immune to this kind of "just steal what you need" way of thinking. When it came to valuables and important things, they could easily come up with the idea of stealing them.

So Mycroft, just like those working class parents, sent his kid brother to steal something important to him. Normal practice of the time XD.

3. Sherlock went to Cambridge University.

Historically, "Oxford and Cambridge were the ancient universities, and had three requirements to attend: You had to be male, be unmarried, and be a member of the Church of England."

Therefore Sherlock must have been a member of the Church of England. To be honest this should not come as a surprise. Although by the 1880s the religious limitation in politics was much loosened, members of Church of England were still the mainstream in political circles and likely to have the upper hand.

As for Mycroft in the game, he is the kind of man who doesn't care about religion itself but will use it as a political resource. So it is just natural for him to join the church and have his brother join (or default to be a member and stay that way). And Sherlock probably doesn't care about religion either. So he possibly goes along with his brother to avoid adding more conflict to their relationship, or he just wants to go to Cambridge.

BTW, I am curious about Sherlock's religious view, which is not mentioned much in the game or canon, leaving out much space for theorization and speculation.

Edit: There were some rapid changes during the mid to late 19th century on religious limitations for all social aspects. So it was very likely that by the time Sherlock went to the university, being a member of Church of England was no longer a requirement.

It is also the case that during the early Victoria era, in the medical field, surgeons and apothecaries, the lower ranks of doctors were not required to have any medical degree from college. They just learned the trade from apprenticeship. Only physicians, the higher rank "gentlemen doctors", graduated from prestigious universities with a degree. But during the time Watson became a surgeon, he acquired a medical degree at the University of London, which in fact already started to provide medical degrees for women at the time.

4. Sherlock in his school age.

Homeschooling was not rare in Victorian England, especially for the families that had the means and dedication to children's education. Schools were usually very harsh and a lot of physical punishment was involved in education. Given Sherlock's personality and the possible difficulties caused by his mental health issue, he could have been homeschooled, at least before his parents passed--before they moved to Cordona, he didn't realize Jon was not real. That fact alone could have caused big trouble for him in school.

Since Sherlock has that undisciplined and nonconformist personality as well as being very isolated, I tend to think he was homeschooled as a boy, both in the game and canon. And his mental health issue in the game makes homeschooling more plausible.

#sherlock holmes #sherlock holmes chapter one #victorian england #historical findings

[megsboard]

I staid on Twitter because of Squaddies. Here's how I got addicted to some Squaddie pages…

Raw honesty:

Discovered Meg because I looked up different Black Women or mixed with Black Women actresses, her name came up. That was back in 2013 or 2014.

I also like Gina Torres. Noticed she was on the show Suits.

I do not like law shows so did not watch Suits.

Learned Harry was dating a biracial. Was shocked he was allowed. Did not think of it much because been know the royals are a bunch of colonizing racists and did not think they would let him marry any POC at all. I really thought they would discourage him from dating her. I also truly believed it was some kind of secret, hidden, or unwritten rule the royal family do not date or marry POCs, especially if they are senior royals.

Did look up Meg to learn more about her, noticed her Tig, looked at some posts. Let it go.

I do not fan follow any celeb, at all, even ones I really like, though I can't name any celeb I like that much. I let it go.

Heard about and read the letter Harry sent to press to lay off her and stop being prejudice. Wowsiers, sounded serious, this may not be just a regular girlfriend after all.

Then heard they were engaged. Shooketh. Only because could not believe he was allowed. I knew from decades ago that the UK Monarch must approve of all royal marriages. Yet Meg can pass as ethnic white or non-black, wonder if she was brown or darker if he would be allowed to marry her.

Still I thought, Harry is such a rebel.

I remember many years ago when I learned Harry was dating a White Woman from Africa and I thought, he went all the way to Black Africa and found a White Woman to date? And now I had to hush myself because Harry went (half) Black, American, multi-millionaire, self-made, owned her own business (The Tig), humanitarian work, and so on…lots of good solid qualities in a mate. I also thought, Harry's eyes about to get wide open if he really loves this woman, 'cause they (he and his wife) gonna learn. Now low and behold, never realize it would be this bad.

I do look up the UK royals from time to time since I am a Jamaican and my birth country is a member of the Commonwealth. Been knew the Commonwealth were a bunch of colonies, when I previously said this people got offended. But now it's all coming out. The big clue were the older royals who still publicly called the Commonwealth colonies. Duh.

Looked more into Meg, wished the couple well. Didn't even watch the wedding. Like I said, not big into any celeb or anyone I actually don't personally know, I don't know how or what they are behind closed doors. [Years later in 2021 I did watch the wedding once.]

After the couple married, and apparently after their first major royal tour in Australia, then the troubles really began. At first did not pay much attention, because the royals are people in the background of my life, I don't think too much of them.

But then more and more I saw how terrible Meg was being treated, so sad for her, but still didn't realize how bad it was until I noticed when once again…

I looked up different Black Women and mixed with Black female actresses, gigs for them are few and far between…

I noticed Meg's fans made Youtube channels. Initially the only Youtube channels of Meg were by Black Women, and they in turn said positive things about her and also highlighted other Black Women. I liked that. Later a few Black Men made pro-Meghan channels. And now different people of varying backgrounds have pro-Meghan channels, pages and sites.

I began to watch regularly these channels, not because I was into Meg, but because they were channels that said positive things about Black Women, and it is very rare to find good positives about Black Females online, in entertainment, in general. Sad but true.

After a time I had to stop watching most and then all pro-Meghan channels because they kept taking the hate bait. They more often talked about tabloid people, racists, evil people who do terrible things to others. I was getting disgusted. What the fff do I care about the names of haters and racists? I was becoming pissed off. I stopped all together when most of these channels did entire videos, detail and background of the racists. I felt they were being foolish because why are you delving so deeply and promoting them? Don't they know how online popularity works? Even bad publicity is still publicity. I noticed tabloids never once specifically mentioned any Squaddie name, not even the Squad. They may collectively say Meg has fans who are haters, and generalize and lie, but never promoted the Squad or any Squaddie.

For over a year I have not listened to any Squaddie Youtube channel.

Instead I noticed the Squaddies Twitter pages and discovered other Squaddies big on Twitter.

Because I was so use to listening about Meghan, I became addicted to learning more of her. Squaddies are one of the few fan base who daily update and discuss their favs in positive ways, they are also social justice warrior types and mention social justice, or black women, and black history, and I like that.

I became fixated with reading positives about Meg.

Yet, I was learning way too much about the royal family and the UK, though I have studied the UK and the royals in the past due to being a member of the Commonwealth. But this was too much gossip.

Still it was nice to hear people speak good about Black Women.

Previously I rarely was on Twitter, rarely ever posted, then I looked up Squaddies on Twitter on a regular basis, sometimes daily.

Years later, being well versed in all things Sussexes, I began to drop my two cents from time to time, but I never keep up those posts, even when I noticed they received thousands of views.

I mostly posted at first to try and be a voice of reason to the Squaddies. Stop promoting the haters, derangers, tabloids. Learn to play the game.

But most did not listen.

So now and then I posted about my odd Sussex opinions.

You see, I am not a mega fan of anyone, and though I follow the Sussexes, including Harry since he's married to Meg, I do not believe in anyone tied to the global white supremacy empire.

I honestly don't like how knee deep into promoting these white supremacy endeavors, organizations, that the Sussexes indulge themselves and therefore their fans.

It still behooves me that all these POCs, including blacks, give money and support to so many white supremacy organizations. Makes me realize why white supremacy and colonization has lasted so long.

I think different.

Anyway, any Squaddie reading this who are die-hard Sussex fans may not like my opinions but I have been reading about colonization since the 1980s, way before I began following the Sussex Squad since 2020.

Because I spent so much time learning about the Sussexes, I check up on Twitter to see what Squaddies are saying. But Twitter has become way too toxic, and so have many Squaddie pages. Just too much about the evil system and the evil people.

Where is the happiness and fun that I initially saw on the Squaddie channels and pages?

Finally I had enough of Twitter, though still weaning, it is hard to break any addiction.

To get my Sussex fix, I have become a small Sussex content creator, focused mostly on Meg, because she is the reason I followed the Squaddies and Sussexes, to hear positives about a mixed with Black woman.

I am not a huge Sussex fan though, and can not dedicate entire pages or fan sites to anyone, just not into anyone like that.

So I have made a board (now two boards) on my Pinterest page regarding Meg, that's how I will feed this addiction I now have. The Twitter Squaddies, however, have the best up-to-date regarding Meg.

I have to stop Twittering though. I have decided my Pinterest Meg's board will focus on Meg positives but will not be about Meg current events. If you view my board you will notice I rarely discuss Harry or anything the Sussexes are doing. Respect to them being humanitarians. But in truth I don't like that they are so pro-NWO and UN and global society which is just another form of modern colonization. Humanitarian work that promotes the system is still a part of the system. It's the 'we come in peace' part of colonization deception. My opinion.

The Sussexes mean well, but I can not pretend that I do not clearly see Harry, no matter how cool Harry is, he stands firm with the Empire, he believes in the monarchy, the royals, and his stance in the leadership of this system. Harry knows who he is. He will protect his heritage and royal inheritance.

They may tiffs and hissy fits in the royal family, but they are still family.

I do not think anyone should blindly follow anyone else, because they may lead you astray one day. Think for yourself.

I recall the only white and male pro-Meghan channel in the earlier days of Squaddie channels, a UK male as well. He was really good at understanding the tabloids without focusing too much on them. But once the Sussexes took a stand on something he did not believe in, he immediately stopped talking about them, gave his channel to someone else, since then he has never said anything negative, or anything at all ever, about the Sussexes.

I respect him for being resolute in his beliefs, and never bad mouthing the Sussexes.

If the Sussexes ever promote something I truly can not agree with, then I will delete my Meg boards and no longer follow what they are up to.

For now, I appreciate that they help others, but I am also aware they are a global brand, they promote what they like, and promote themselves. That's the reality.

I will continue to lurk on any Squaddie pages, maybe on Instagram or Pinterest who say mostly positives about the Sussexes and not unwittingly promote the haters and negativity.

Respect to the Squad.

I must wean myself off Twitter, it has become too toxic, including many Squad pages.

My Meg's board will be positives only and I will never ever ever promote the haters.

Everything in this post is my personal opinion.

With Respect.

P.S. I have a firm rule to not comment on posts, debate in comments, and disrespect anyone in comments, that's why I do not leave any comments on Twitter, it may also be why many Squaddies do not know who I am, because I lurk, read what they say, collect Sussex info, but literally never comment under anyone's posts on Twitter, Youtube and so it will also be on Instagram and Pinterest.

-

My Pinterest Meg's Boards:

https://www.pinterest.com/LucidCreates/megs-i

https://www.pinterest.com/LucidCreates/megs-ii

-

Pinterest post:

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/723883340131221821

[shirophantomvox]

Analyzing Illumi Zoldyck's Character

Chrollo Analysis | Hisoka Analysis | Killua Analysis

What’s up y’all! Sorry for being away for the last few days. I needed a break from social media because I am so tired of seeing toxic, self-righteous people on my TL. Anyway, quite a lot of you liked my posts about analyzing HxH characters and somehow comparing them to VLD characters. Today, I’ll be talking about Illumi Zoldyck and I’ll try to compare him to a Voltron character. I know many people have already analyzed this character before, but it wouldn’t hurt to add to the discussion some years later. If you want me to write about anything else, send me an ask! The formatting of this post may be different than the one I wrote about Hisoka Morrow (click his name to view that post).

HERE WE GO!

In the first season, all of the characters are contestants for the Hunter’s Exam. I say contestants because this is a contest to see who can win without any injuries and can keep up with each host. I forget what number stage they were at, but I do know they were at the stage where each opponent has to fight each other. They are declared the winner if their opponent forfeits or gives up mid-match. (Off-topic, but) I am going, to be honest; Gon was my favorite character but his flaws began to show, annoyed me, and later led to his horrific downfall (based from YouTube clips). He didn’t know when to stop and kept pushing himself over the limit. Anyway, Killua and Gittarackur are set to fight. This is when things take a turn for the worse.

Gittarackur is a form of a disguise for Illumi to mask his identity. His face is long; nearly (and reminds me of) in the shape of a Tiki. His face also reminds me of the Witch Doctor mask from Scooby-Doo and Hell-raiser. He has several pins stuck in his face to maintain the facial features of Gittarackur. On the flip side, if he removes the pins, his biological form is revealed. Once he does this, Killua is nearly paralyzed; he cannot believe his eyes and I’m sure the trauma he endured at home hit him like a sack of rocks. Illumi then tells Killua that he wants him to return home, that he cannot maintain a friendship with Gon, stated that he was going to kill Gon, but realizes that if he does so he will be disqualified and will not obtain his Hunter’s license.

I’m assuming the cops aren’t a thing in this reality and the only way for them to “destroy” under the law is by obtaining the license. What do you think? I rarely see police officers; all I see are the Mafia and every they suck compared to the Zoldyck's and the Phantom Troupe. Shit, it seems like they’re the police but have twisted motives.

It doesn’t matter if you’re a fictional character or not, first impressions matter and he bombed this one...even for a villain.

But you did this for what?

How can you hypnotize (by using Nen) your own brother into killing another opponent because he doesn’t want to become an emotionless zombie like you? At least, that’s my perception. Telling your brother to run every time he faces an opponent that he knows he cannot win against is the sickest shit I’ve ever seen. I know I’m jumping around but another thought popped into my head. As the seasons go on, Illumi expresses an odd way of loving his younger brother and to him, that means to make him suffer in the same way he had to. It seems like Illumi is jealous of Gon in a way. (I’ve seen clips on YouTube) Killua takes Alluka to the hospital to heal Gon. Illumi has stated several times to Hisoka that Killua was hiding rules from him and that he still wanted to get rid of Alluka. Although it is clearly stated why he wanted Alluka gone, I still think that Illumi was jealous of Gon simply because his younger brother preferred to be with a friend instead of him. This is why he emphasizes “You cannot have friends. Either they will betray you or you’ll betray them.”

As I read and watched as the seasons went on, I noticed something about Illumi and his family. We all know that the children were raised by their parents. Specifically, their dad is a trained assassin. I can’t remember but I think Zeno is their grandfather who is also an assassin.

I view him as a character that has suffered from abuse and trauma in order to mold him into an assassin. He is emotionless, doesn’t really care for others, has an odd relationship with Killua that he doesn’t have for his other siblings, and is a hypocrite. Killua can’t be friends with Gon but every time the show cuts to him, he’s with Hisoka? Something is fishy there. Are they more than friends? OK, thanks for coming to my Ted Talk. Here's the physical analysis below.

Face

When masquerading as Gittarackur, his face has several pins in them and his hair is in a rock star form of Mohawk that is purple. I’ll give him 10/10 for uniqueness, yet it still reminded me of Hell Raiser.

I’ve noticed that when he is in public he is in costume. Why doesn’t he reveal himself in public? I’ve researched this and no one could answer this question. My guess is that he is a verified hunter and assassin. How can you carry out your missions if everyone knows what you look like? Without the pins in his face, it reverts back to his natural state. To me, his large eyes and long, shiny black hair are his distinguished features. Although he may be my least favorite character, he does have pretty eyes. Haven’t you all heard of “I got lost in his/her eyes”?

Yeah, that can be said about him. Most definitely. He rarely smiles and when he does, something BAD is going to happen. I saw him laugh crazily once Alluka began the healing process, the Nen (I guess) rose from the hospital and got on him. This scene reminds me of how Haggar reacted once the Komar’s quintessence bounced from Voltron and bounced onto her. Wow, these supernatural abilities make y’all feel that good?

Clothes

Gittarackur and Illumi wear the same clothes, which should be a clear giveaway that they are the same. Illumi wears a neural green short jacket that has yellow pins in them, a light green shirt underneath, and green pants. His shoes remind me of loafers with a heel on them, something my grandmother would wear.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say again, these bad-ass men in this show are very stylish and seem to be in shape more than I am. Although Illumi irks me, his fashion is great and this is why people prefer him to be their favorite character. Shows should always produce characters that are memorable; that is the key to a long-lasting fan base.

In conclusion, this anime (for the most part) has well-rounded characters that make the plot interesting and wanting more.

Illumi and Lotor are somewhat similar. They both grew up in abusive households and lost some sense of sensitivity, common sense, and were often “misguided” by their own selfishness. Illumi wants a better life for Killua by constantly brainwashing him into thinking that he cannot have friends and his can only find happiness through killing. Zarkon raises Lotor to be a prince that shouldn't work with planets and should destroy them. This explains why he used deceased Alteans from the colony, drained their quintessence, and didn't give them a proper burial. Lotor IS just like his father but Killua IS NOT like Illumi. Ironic, huh? As we all know by now, Lotor is the son of Honerva (Haggar) and Zarkon. After the rift accident, he became an emotionless, ruthless monster that colonized and destroyed planets just to gain their quintessence. He taught this to his son and once he was old enough to think for himself, he refused to act in such a way. Although he was exiled and said he wasn’t like Zarkon, he was; but worse. Lotor studied and gained knowledge about Altea and its people while using Allura to gain the secrets of Oriande. I say he used her because he knew from the moment he met her that he was harvesting Altean quintessence. While fighting the white lion, he yelled “Victory or Death” which is a common catchphrase the Galra use when they are in battle. In fact, the Galra have been victims of trauma from Zarkon. Zarkon’s ruthless ways of ruling had no other motive except for obtaining quintessence so he could live forever. Silva’s way of raising his children was done to mold them into assassins. Since he was taught this way he did the same thing to his children. Zarkon, Silva, and Zeno think that their ways of parenting are necessary for survive in life when it doesn’t have to be that way. Illumi and Lotor have experienced this horrific parenting and deal with it in different ways. Illumi is oddly obsessive of his younger brother and Lotor is a fucking liar.

This analysis was fun! Next, I’ll be analyzing Killua and Keith Kogane.

If you’d like to see more posts like this, send me an ASK!

#illumi x you #illumi x reader #illumi zoldyck #silva zoldyck #yandere zoldyck #milluki zoldyck #alluka zoldyck #kirua zoldyck #killua zoldyck #zoldyck family #hunter x hunter #shiro phantom vox writes #hunter x hunter thoughts #lotor voltron #vld lotor #prince lotor #emperor lotor #voltron legendary defender #voltron netflix #hunter x voltron #hunter x voltron crossover #gon freecss #hisoka #hisoka morrow #hunter exam #silva #zeno zoldyck #zarkon #zarkon voltron #haggar voltron

[haddonfieldproject]

<<PREVIOUS⏺<<CONTENTS>>

1.2.25 SATURDAY NOVEMBER 1st, 7:17 AM

Haddonfield, Illinois

“Oh my God I feel so much better!” Ophelia Tate said, leaning her seat back with a groan.

“Totally,” Jack seconded, pulling the station wagon into the parking lot of a Liberty Burger fast-food chain. “It's amazing how a shower can wake you up too, I hardly feel like I was up all night at all.”

He pulled the car into the drive-thru lane and rolled down the window.

“Now we can go check out the hospital first, and then sleep the rest of the day.” Ophelia said, sitting up straight to look over the menu board.

“So you’re saying taking a shower at the Truck Stop was a good idea?” Jack smiled.

“Maybe,” Ophelia rolled her eyes.

Jack threw his hands up in exasperation. “Come on? Can’t I get some credit?!”

“Even a broken clock is right twice a day,” Ophelia smirked

“Welcome to Liberty Burger, can I take your order?!” The speaker below the menu board squawked.

“Hold on one second,” Jack called out, rolling his eyes at his wife. He turned to his son, who was sitting in the back with his ear-buds in again. “Damon, do you want anything?”

“Not from here,” he groaned.

“Well here is where we are so if you want anything to eat for breakfast, here is where it's coming from.” Jack replied and looked at his wife. “Thanks babe. Do you know what you would like?”

“Number six,” she answered, “no cream or sugar for the coffee, I don't want to be too jittery when I meet all of the staff.”

“Okay,” Jack called out to the speaker, and then he looked back at his son, “Damon?”

Damon rolled his eyes, “I guess an egg and cheese biscuit is fine.”

“Go ahead with your order,” the speaker barked.

“Do you want OJ to drink?” Jack asked his son.

“What time is it?” Ophelia asked, she picked up her phone and swiped to see if it had gotten enough charge yet to turn the thing on.

Nope...still dead.

“Fine,” Damon sighed.

“It's close to half passed seven,” Jack said to his wife and then leaned toward the speaker, “OK I'll have a number six combo...”

“What to drink with that?”

“Coffee please.”

“Cream and sugar for the coffee?”

“No thank you.”

“Okay.”

“I'll have a number eight, no combo, I don't want any hash browns.”

“OK.what else?”

“And I'll have a number four combo.”

“What to drink with that?”

“Orange juice.”

“OK..anything else?”

“I'd like another small OJ please.”

“OK..anything else?”

“No, that's it.”

“16.42, please drive around to the first window.”

🎃

Jack did, and before long they were cruising in town, munching on their fast food breakfast.

“I wish it wasn't still raining so hard, we could see the town better.” Jack said.

“It's pretty though,” Ophelia said, “look there's a post office.”

“Whole town looks like a Norman Rockwell painting,” Jack said.

“Who?”

“Norman Rockwell...he's got all the paintings in the doctors' offices, I'd figure you'd know who he is.”

Ophelia shook her head and pointed to her right. “That's like the tenth church we've driven by.”

“You know the one of the kid who's looking over his doctor's degree while taking off his pants because he's about to get a shot in the ass?” Jack asked.

“Oh yeah, I love that one, it's cute” Ophelia answered.

“That's Norman Rockwell.”

“This is the turn right?”

“Yep,” Jack answered, flicking the turn signal on and turning left at a traffic light with a green sign that read: OLD RESERVOIR RD E.

On the right they passed a LITTLE EGYPT CREDIT UNION. It has an electronic sign with a marquee. The letters on the sign read:

HUSKERS HOME THIS SAT

...and then changed again...

VS WCHS ‪730P‬

Ophelia was reading the sign when Jack tapped her shoulder. He was pointing to the left. There was a white sign that read C.R. 4679, as in the designation for the county road, and next to it, one of those familiar blue signs with the big white H, under which was an arrow pointing up.

“The hospital is right up here, we'll be there in a sec.” Jack said.

Ophelia pulled the sun visor down and looked at her face in the mirror, inspecting her bleary looking eyes, she saw Damon dozing in the back seat with his ear-buds in. She turned around and smacked his knee. His eyes opened.

“Take those things out of your ears we are---”

“Whaaa?” He interrupted, taking the ear bud out of his left ear.

“Turn that off, we are almost there.” She said.

“There's the cemetery,” Jack pointed across Ophelia toward the left.

Damon and Ophelia looked that way. Indeed there was a cemetery

REINCOURT ACRES, a sign read.

“That's one spooky ass cemetery,” Damon said quietly.

“Language,” Ophelia hissed.

“It's only because of the rain and fog,” Jack said.

“It's pretty creepy,” Ophelia agreed. “Bet you could catch a ghost or too in there.” She added.

“Whole damn place is a ghost town,” Damon said.

Ophelia laughed at the pun in spite of herself, “Language,” she said simply.

“It's small, nice, and away from everything,” Jack remarked, looking at Damon in his rear-view mirror, “Which will be good for you.”

Damon rolled his eyes.

“There's the hill,” Ophelia said, pointing straight ahead, “and a sign.” She was referring to the fact that the road they were traveling on took a sharp right turn, disappearing behind the bluff of a steep and rocky hill. A gravel road cut to the left, essentially forming a T-junction. A white rectangular sign with a black arrow and black lettering pointed to the left reading: FRENCHLICK RESERVOIR.

Under that was a blue sign with white lettering and an arrow pointing to the right reading: HADDONFIELD CO GEN HOSP.

Below that was a yellow diamond with a black arrow pointing to the right, under which was another rectangular yellow sign with black letters reading: CAUTION SHARP TURN 15 MPH.

Jack let off the gas and pointed to the left. “Apparently, from what I read online, the old reservoir down there for which this road was named dates back to when all of this was a French colony back in the---”

“JACK WATCH OUT!!” Ophelia screamed.

This was followed quickly by a gasp from Damon, “What...the...fuck!”

Jack and Ophelia didn't bother this time to correct their son's language.

Jack stood on the brakes. The car skidded for a few feet on the wet asphalt and came to an abrupt halt about twenty yards from the turn.

A woman...or maybe a young girl, was walking---staggering to be more exact--in the middle of the road. The rain matted her hair over her face, and also soaked through what looked like a hospital gown. It was so saturated in fact that it had become essentially see-through, and in the soft gray morning light, the red of her nipples was visible as well as the dark patch of her pubic hair. One of her arms was in some kind of metal brace and cast which gleamed in the light of the station wagon's headlights. Her other arm was covered in blood, which ran down the side of her bluish gray skin, and dripped from her fingertips.

“Oh my God,” Ophelia breathed. The figure looked very much like a ghost.

Ophelia opened the door and hopped out. Jack un-clicked his seat-belt and opened his door as well. “Stay here,” he said to Damon.

“Yeah right,” Damon replied, and opened his door also.

“Ma'am!?” Ophelia bellowed. The girl had no reaction except which to stagger to one side suddenly, seeming that she was about to fall over unto the wet road but she corrected herself, swaying momentarily the other way before righting. They could hear she was muttering something.

Ophelia reached her first. “Ma'am what is your name?” She reached out to her hesitantly. The girl was young—older teenager. Her face was busted up pretty bad, her nose most likely broken and it had already been set and bandaged, but the rain was peeling some of the bandage off now. There was bruising around the eyes suggesting it had happened some time before. Ophelia put her hand on her shoulders and the girl stopped walking. Jack splashed up beside her, followed by Damon.

“She must have escaped the hospital!” Jack called out.

No shit, Ophelia thought, “Ma'am, do you know where you are?”

The girl had stopped walking, but she kept muttering, but now they could hear what she was saying.

“We blew his ass up....we burned his ass....he's on fire but he's still walking...burn fucker...burn...”

Ophelia felt a tightening in her chest. She reached down and lifted the girl's right wrist with her left hand, it was the one with the brace and cast. The hospital band was wrapped around her forearm above the brace but the rain had smeared all of the lettering, she couldn't make anything out.

“These damn county-fried doctors!” Jack began, “They never know how much shit they're giving these patients. First thing you're gonna need to do Ophelia is monitor their...” he stopped suddenly, cocking his head to one side. “Wait. Do you smell smoke?”

“...blew his ass up....burned that fucker....still walking towards me though...just won't die....”

Damon sniffed, “Totally...and look!”

Ophelia took a whiff too. Definitely smoke.

She looked up to where Damon was pointing. Straight ahead from the direction the girl had been coming.

At first it looked kind of like fireflies, dancing out from behind the steep bluff of the hill. Damon took off running towards them, his father followed. Ophelia didn't need to follow to know what they were, she had seen a sight like that before when she had been working a forest fire outside of Woodsboro, California about two years before.

Embers.

Ophelia looked over the girl's hand. It was all tore up, broken fingers, a broken wrist, her pinky fingertip looked like it had been surgically re-attached. All of the wounds that had been stitched were oozing blood, suggesting she had gotten quite a workout with the arm since it had been patched up. She looked at her legs. Her knees were scraped up, and the front of her gown was filthy, as if she had crawled through the mud on her belly.

“Can you tell me your name?” She tried again. The girl still muttered.

“kept coming....even when he was on fire....I hope the fucker burns...we blew his ass up...”

“Holy shit!” Jack called out.

Damon and Jack had come around the hill. There---just as the maps and the descriptions on the internet had told them---about four hundred yards away and across a gated parking lot, was the hospital.

Or what was left of it.

It was a white rectangular building, pretty typical of any hospital in any town in America. At the top of the building, spanning it's face in blue lettering read: HADDONFIELD COUNTY-GENERAL MEDICAL CENTER. In the front center of the building was a large overhang marked with red lettering that read: EMERGENCY.

Below that you would assume to see the front doors of a lobby or annex of some kind. Instead, Damon and Jack saw a jagged hole, as if a bomb had exploded there. Out of the hole spit the flames of the most hellish inferno the two of them had every seen. Thick black smoke rose up out of the hole as well as out of some of the broken windows nearest to the front entrance. The parking lot was void except for two or three cars. Not an ambulance or fire truck to be seen. The two could actually feel the heat from the fire hitting their faces, even though they were so far away.

“Do you have your phone?” Jack asked his son, raising his voice over the relentless sound of the rain.

“It's in the car!” He yelled back.

“Go call ‪911‬!” his dad exclaimed.

Damon turned and sprinted back around the hill.

When he came in full view of the car, and his mom, and the young lady she was trying to talk to, whose bare ass he could now see hanging out of her sopped hospital gown, he held up. In the far distance beyond them, he could see the lights of a firetruck.

Two firetrucks..and maybe a police cruiser.

He began to hear the siren as well. They were coming towards them.

Ophelia squeezed the young girl's shoulders. “Honey, I can't help you if you don't tell me your name!” She said more firmly.

The girl's eyes settled on Ophelia's face for a moment, then rolled up into the back of her head. She tossed her head back and bellowed, “STOP FOLLOWING ME YOU MOTHER-FUCKER!”

Ophelia's heart skipped a beat.

Damon caught his breath.

The sirens grew louder.

Ophelia felt the girl go weak at the knees and she caught her, moving her hands down to hold her up by the armpits. “Whoa...easy.” She said.

The girl tossed her head back again and screamed a second time—- a blood curdling scream that slowly morphed into a wrack of cries and sobs.

NEXT>>

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

You have to watch the video in the end.

Look everyone's story is different. And I understand his.

But I want to explain something. Carpenters and Construction workers rule the world.

They're as important as a McDonald's Happy Meal.

I want to explain something else. Sometimes people don't dream of going to Harvard, they're forced to. Sometimes people at Harvard -- I got into Harvard and I got into Yale Law. I chose not to go to either. -- sometimes people at Harvard just want to work with their hands.

I got Into Harvard. And I got into Yale Law.

I went to the University of New Mexico after a dabble at Oklahoma State, TVI - now CNM.

After a long time.. High school, being accepted into Ivey League schools, marriage, divorce, a 7 year old, 6 colleges/universities, trying to decide on something other than a Speech Pathologist because i believe you can learn a child's dialect and they don't speak wrong but different -- I gave myself a stern taking to.

I wanted to be an Architect.

To be an Architect my most important people are Carpenters, Construction workers, electricians, plumbers. And more.

I would need carpenters for sure because I love Gothic, Roman, Greek, Colonial style homes/buildings.

Well I never made it as an Architect my local universities didn't offer it at a bachelor's level and I failed out via running out of money for Speech Pathology.

And it was fucking hard.

But I want to tell you something. Look at his post here you'll see him on scaffolding. In NYC there's scaffolding every where. One of my favorite things on a hot day was sit under there and listen to them work.

We did so much underground work, freeing slaves.

One day I just couldn't handle it anymore. And I sat under scaffolding and I leaned my back against the wall and I pulled my knees up to my face and began to very loudly cry. It was one of the loudest places in the city. I thought no one could hear me.

Then I felt someone touch me. And ask if I was Ok. I wondered how long I had been crying because it was silent and I thought all the workers went home.

So I wiped my face in my shirt and I nodded "mmm I'm ok. Sorry. It was just so loud I thought no one could hear"

"Well we all did"

And I looked up and half the construction crew was standing looking worried.

And it made me bust into tears again. And they asked if i had been beaten or raped or needed the police or any random thing.

And i said "no. I'm just a recent widow and my child died right after child birth and i return kidnapped victims and my job is just hard let me put it that way"

So he gave me a bottle of water and asked if i needed money and told me safe places to go where nice people worked that were nice to the homeless.

So one day the noise of the hammers... The rhythm... I just decided. Not going to work was better for me. I was just gonna do something nice for nice people ... May be for a day or two..

So i would go to Macy's and buy shirts and boots and extra personal supplies for the construction workers, the people they told me about that were kind to the homeless and giving.

After a week the CIA asked what i was doing and when i would return to work. I said they could do it and i didn't want to.

They told me i wasn't acting healthy. I needed yo be underground feeling desperate and worried that i couldn't get people home to their families when my family was killed in front of me.

I couldn't. "Well quit buying stuff"

"Fine I'll buy less"

"Quit going to Macy's. What's wrong with the Bodega?"

"Oh sure where i shopped with my dead husband? No people need quality and quality is what they deserve! They work and they can afford their own clothes but they don't because it's too expensive for rent!! They can't afford clothes that don't rip or get holes in them every two weeks!!" I was yelling but i was mad. I wasn't letting people suffer and i wasn't letting myself suffer. No one had the right to tell me i was wrong. "Lower their rent so they have more than a few hundred bucks!! Look at them# bologna sandwiches that was all! They had no money to even eat! What am i doing wrong?! Good quality! Leave me be!!"

We always had long talks about quality. Because sometimes we found good at Bargain Basement and sometimes we didn't. So i knew Blue would approve.

"Yeah well you'll get fired"

"You wanna fire me?! Go ahead! And then when i want to go back to work you're not going to stop me! You'll thank me! So shove it!"

"You're causing a scene"

"No you are!!"

"You sit here for hours under the scaffolding that could fall on you and kill yoh while playing solitare in cards by yourself! You're not even Tarot. You could be making money on the street helping us but you aren't"

"That lady is a bitch. That lady ain't. That lady is sweet as the devil and that man is married to a cunt!!!! There are you happy now? Leave me be?" I was already exhausted and all the construction workers were down waiting for an explanation and to protect me.

They weren't very happy to find out I worked for the CIA. I guess they felt betrayed. I said "i help victims that get trapped under ground"

And so they thought like They fell into a pit of mud or something and needed help. Which is understandable.

I couldn't explain how i could feel abandoning those girls was my right. How i needed to. How helping them was destroying me. It was not explainable.

I didn't want to be encouraged to go back. I didn't want to be told i was wrong because it hurt my heart. I So damaged.

And I didn't want to volcano in anger. Not at anyone that didn't deserve it.

So I explained then... "*if someone is kidnapped and stuck or put under ground for human trafficking then they can't get out -- not on their own. They need me or the CIA and the CIA can cover for me while I am recovering to a better emotional state"

And one said "but you'll be fired"

"Well i run the CIA so i doubt that and i do check in with them every day down the street at least twice. That is why i was later today there was an issue with ome of the clubs and i had to sort it out. I just can't see the girls and work Like i used to. Promise to take them home. Make sure they see their families when my own was murdered in front of my face. Its just not something i can do"

They asked me for $500 and went to Macy's and in my place where i always sat and did solitare was a white paper Macy's bag. And it said "for the CIA GIRL named Sabrina"

And inside was a leopard fur coat. Of which they had got $250 from the CIA guy attempting to chew out my ass. And luckily it had been marked down. $657.32.

"Don't worry it was half off. And we split the leftover remaining for food. I hope you don't mind" i heard behind me.

I was crying so much I had snot bubbles.

So carpenters... They're like Gods. I've always looked up yo construction workers since that day.

Janitors at the elementary schools i attended they were always my heroes. If i didn't clean. I got beat. I tried to clean the whole cafeteria. Until I was told not to. I didn't have to. And ever since then it's been hard to just let them do their jobs and not help them.

They have been my heroes for s very long time. And not because I'm a germaphobe. Because they took pride in their work

Because like this man in this post always felt inferior. Bullied and picked on even.

Sometimes i would watch a janitor pick up trash next to the can a kid wouldn't pick up because he missed. And I would start crying and mess my make up up. And every one would ask me what was wrong. And i would bust into tears again "because the janitor had to clean!!".

I'm not talking just elementary school. I'm talking Jr high. I'm talking high school. Im talking i would skip school and smoke pot, smoke behind the principal's office or art building kinda old. And i would bust into tears because a janitors bad luck.

Ridiculous old. I would beat up bigger than me boys in school. Even beat the principal once for whipping my little brother. They still did paddling if there was a permission slip. My brothers wasn't signed. Mine and Nathaniel's had been and both said no paddling. So they called it even and let it go.

But i still cried cause the janitor who took pride in his work was bossed around like a bitch by the principal and the principal happened to be white and the janitor black.

So i stopped that shit by shoving the principal in his office and standing in front of it until he promised not to talk to the janitor. Every time he did with disrespect there i went. He took off running down the hall. Scared. Oh that pissed me off. Coward ass.

I used to work st Mazzios in Okmulgee. They used to go in after 8pm on Friday. I always waited on him and his wife cause Jamie always wanted a break to do dishes then. And we needed to. It was a mess by then. Dishes would be sliding off the counter And shit.

He never tipped. I asked his wife once why. She said "ask him" while laughing.

"Well? She's directed me to ask you. Seems your wife is in command here"

"Well I would tip if I had a waitress that didn't give me a black eye!"

"Well served, keep your dollar"

"Well next time I'm gonna pay $3!!"

So I told Jamie, "I don't mind doing dishes and it will save your nails I don't do mine. This guy here is the Principal at Preston and said he will pay to tip any waitress but me 3 whole dollars"

"Do the dishes"

She went over "I'm sorry was there a problem with your server?"

"She gave me a black eye!!!" What a dunce.

"Well I'll make sure she works extra hard on the dishes while I'll be the waitress to only you unless someone comes in since she's dangerous and can't come from behind the counter"

He looked over the back of his red booth and grinned. I grinned back.

Then he looked troubled "don't forget the tip" I sang back in a nasty I'll punch you in the face again tone. And kicked and threw all the chairs into the tables if they weren't pushed in on my walk back.

She got $5.

Oh it was definitely a joke around the restaurant. Friday nights after 8 weren't boring anymore.

His wife loved it. She was so tired of his shit. She knew we worked every Friday night and he was so dumb we could work him over on anything m

... ...

So in NYC. Scaffolding takes over the city sidewalks. Sometimes we have to walk in the street to pass. Or cross the street then cross back.because concrete barriers.

So in NYC the scaffolding is the rulers of the sidewalk. Put there by workers like the man who feels inferior to Harvard students.

They are in command.

.....

I loved sitting under the scaffolding and hearing the hammers. The men above. Working for money. The men above free. Free in the sky. Free from the streets. As far as they could safely be from the underground.

They were like the bird Phoneix to me.

I couldn't see them but i could hear them. Banging and whistling to a song on the radio or in their head.

Up there they were free. Free to build and create. What they were doing would last for years. Decades.

What they were doing would be seen by all of New York City. Its visitors. Its home personnel. Its bodegas. The kidnapped. Every one.

The CIA was afraid i would be lonlier when they moved on. But i knew they were working. I could hear it. And one day the scaffolding I found safe Haven under would be missing.

And i would see the Grand Prize. Their work completed.

I could never finish a bunker they would always refill. I needed a Happy Ending. I needed Green Grass Roots on the side of the building the whole street they touched the lives of could see.

When they finished i took the girls. "You see that up there? The blue and green? That wasn't there before. My friends did that. I want you to know every thing you touch and every thing you see leaves a definition. Some may be wrong and some may be right. But my friends did that and saved me from my misery. And right now want to hug that building"

And we did.

So to this man in this post and all people that work and feel inferior...

Specifically to this man -- each and every student st Harvard looked at you the same way you looked st them "i can be something one day. I can be someone as important as him. I can help build a wall to stay up for years to come so students like me can keep coming to Harvard. If he can do it. And work in Harvard. I can at least graduate"

So never belittle yourself. You are important. You are worth more than money. You change the world every day.

You remember that. People we don't always say it.

But we think it. We find inspiration every where.

A girl screaming in the driveway. A dude feeling lost because all the world was shut down in a joke like but meaningful song video. My worries about people working too hard and not being home or happy.

Regular people others would think as trash. Or overlook as a fun silly video of the times.

P Diddy tripping as well as many others.

You all changed the world.

And you did it better than the President of the United States of America.

We The People.

Need our "lower class" financed people and our "lower classed: educated.

My cousin only finished 5th grade. You never could tell by looking at her. I never remember. I never think about it. Until she mentions it. And it SHOCKS me. It shocks the shit out of me. Because I didn't think about it and i couldn't tell. I look up to her and admire her.

So while I am PROUD this man made his dreams come true in secret -- why? -- because they were his dreams and his dreams alone and he didn't want no one meddling in his dreams -- I want to tell all of you.

You are not inferior because of your race or employment. Your pay grade or gender.

Here if you can pass a test or quiz or do a quick something every one gets $5.

Because you're all equal.

Love yourselves

And this man in the post is amazing i want to say again. Idk how old he is. He looks young. But he applied himself and focused and he tried. And he succeeded.

We're gonna be ok world. Its just gonna take some time