#simon's a girl dad I know this because im the mother of his children | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hecateslore · 4 months

Text

based off of this little thought I had in the am.

TW: mentions of death and dying

Simon sat in the living room alone, his baby girl swaddled tightly in his arms. He watched her soft resting face, her little brow twitches and soft sleepy smiles. Only home for a week, he was so used to his little girl. Her sleep interrupted by a kiss on the cheek from her father, she let out a soft mewl, “‘m sorry baby” he says smiling down at the newborn.

“Such a pretty baby” running his finger over her soft hair. “You’re a big girl, hurt mummy” he said adjusting her position, big brown eyes staring back up at him. He watches her closely, hoping he could stay like this forever. Bringing her closer to his face to smell her, Baby soap and milk.

You enter the living room, bottle in hand watching as he holds the baby.

She looks so small in his arms, He looks so at peace, touching her little ears, trying to remember every detail of her. “You wanna feed her?” you ask, taking a seat next to him. He nods, taking the four ounce bottle, placing the nipple in your daughter's mouth. He chuckles at the baby's grunts. “'I'm leavin' in a bit.” Now it was your turn to nod, speechless.

A heavy feeling sat in Simon's chest, would this be the last time? His hold on the baby became a bit tighter as his mind drifted. Simon never feared death, he wasn’t afraid of dying.There’d been multiple occasions where death seemed like the only option. But when it came to leaving the two of you behind? He was terrified. Your daughter's wail of discomfort snapped him out of his thoughts. Pulling the bottle away from her mouth, he takes the neatly swaddled blanket off her ( He paid really close attention in the hospital, now it’s the only way she sleeps:( ) holding her tummy to tummy, staring at those brown eyes. “I probably have to get goin’ ” he frowns at the baby, rubbing her tiny back. “Be a good girl for papa” he whispers then smells her one last time, kissing the crown of her head for a moment.

Simon stands, baby still in arms, “Come walk me out.” He walks towards the front door and you follow behind. He holds her tight, swaying back and forth, kissing the crown of her head, rubbing his fingertips on her back. Praying to whatever and whomever, Just get me there and bring me back. Just get me there and Bring me back home.

need a domesticated Simon BAADDDD

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crystlizabeth · 6 months

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Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x 141!blkwife!reader doing rescue in a natural disaster, for example the movie The Impossible is the kind of disasters im thinking of. While reading this if you have read any of my dad!simon stuff I used this girls as reference.

Not proofread at all, mentions of blood and other sad things

.˚₊‧ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ‧₊˚.

Every thing was destroyed the team had been called to help do a rescue in Khao Lak, Thailand. People had been loading people in trucks sending them up to the mountains away from the shore line. You had been helping a woman and her daughter the mother severely injured holding her up as you walked to the truck her little girl on you other hip clinging on to you.

“Take her.” You hosted the little girl up Gaz taking her, before you could even help the women she started talking to you.

“I cant go yet she still out there.” She cried heavily.

“Ma’am I need you to get on this truck there could be an another wave coming anytime, I have to get you and these people to safety.” You spoke her bloody hands gripping your arms as tears ran down her dirty face.

“She just a child please, I can’t leave without her.” She spoke back.

She explained her other daughter was still out there she explained the area where she had been her sans became more violent as you could only explain that there was no garnet you could get to her, that her day would be alive. She only kept going till she said this “are you a mother,”

“Ma’am.”

“Are you a mother!”

You swallowed heavily nodding “ I am, I have girls”

“If that was your daughters your children you wouldn’t just leave them please, please don’t leave her out there.” She cried, you watched as Simon who was sitting in the truck began to stand up his head shaking no because he knew you were going to cave.

“Sargent no. Ma’am we can’t send any soldiers out any longer—” Simon began, his voice stern mostly towards you but only to be cut off by the women her melanin skin cut up.

“Please don’t leave my baby out there shes only 6 please I beg of you.” She cried her head falling.

You had to go home your girls needed there mother but it would be selfish of you as as Soilder as a mother to leave that little girl stranded and alone. She was just a baby.. she could be caught under debris and rubble of the tsunami. God knows that if it was your daughter you would stop at nothing to find them to find Sa’diya and Zhuri. Those girls still needed you and you knew that so you had to come back alive.

“What dose she look like, a name— I need a name.” You asked yoru breath shaky, Simon immediately stepped in.

“No! Maverick you are to return with the truck!” He yelled jumping down standing next to you and the women.

But you ignored your husband and listened to her “ she’s black, has hazel eyes and brown curly hair soft highlights in them, and she’s missing her two front teeth-” the mention of the missing teeth made you think of Zhuri how she was missing here and what she said next could make you heart break. “H—her names Ari, Arianna is her full name we- we call her Ari though.” She cried.

Simons eyes closed when she said Ari, that’s what her called Zhuri, “okay I’ll find her but I cant promise you I’ll find her alive you have to understand that.” You spoke, watching her nod as Simon took her lifting her in the truck.

“Just tell me you find her so I can take her home.” She said holding her daughter close to her.

“You’ll take her home i promise.” You spoke your gaze going to your husband. His eyes filled with worry he was gonna make you get in that truck.

“There is a wave that could hit in 20 minutes (name).” He whispered he face close to yours.

“ Simon I have to go,”

His eyes narrowed “no, I cant just let you go.”

“What is that was Zhuri or Sa’diya you would stop and nothing to find them no matter what, I wouldn’t stop no matter what.” You spoke.

“But are girls aren’t here, they are at home waiting for us.” He spoke, he put it that to put In through your heat that both of you needed to go home alive.

“And we will go home to them. Alive. Ghost you have to trust me.” You began. “Not just as your soilder but as your wife.”

“Then I’m going with you.” He spoke his eyes never leaving yours.

“No, Ghost you need to go with Gaz there are other trucks near by please go.” You said.

He opened his mouth to say something “Simon go!”

“Lieutenant we have to go!” Gaz said.

Ghost cursed under his breath “you better be back with the last truck, so help me god Sargent I will tear this fucking island apart to find you.” He spoke his hand cutting your face.

His lips touched your softly, “ you better come back alive.”

“I will, I promise.” You said.

“Dont lose your tracker you understand!” He yelled once more.

With that he got in the truck as he watched you start going where she described. Moveing Debra yelling out for the little girl you were getting low on time, then you heard crying a blood curdling scream making you turn you head fast.

“Arianna!” You yelled out. Over and over again till you heard her she was face first in debris the top half of her sticking out then you found her.

Her small frame trapped under what seemed to be a roof, you only rushed towards her faster as she called out for help after seeing you. Getting to her you inspected the debris talking to her trying to keep her calm lifting up the debris slowly your other arm hooked under her pulling her out.

You sat her on the ground her ankle was broken that for sure and possibly her leg but you couldn’t interlay tell she was bleeding from her head cuts and bruises covered her, “hi Ari my names Sargent Riley, I’m here to help you you okay.” You spoke checking her eyes.

She mumbled back but her talking was soon drowned out with the alarm of your watch going off the 20 minute mark hitting. “Okay ari I’m gonna tie this around your waist okay it’s to make sure we don’t get separated alright.” You spoke keeping your voice calm and you tied a safety rope around her waist.

“Is another wave gonna hit us is that why your watch went off,” she asked her voice trembling.

Looking up to her you nodded “we’ll get to safety of I promise, your mama is waiting for you we’ll both go home okay.” You said picking her up her arms wrapping around you neck.

It was only moments later that you would be engorged under a heavy wave holding on to the little girl as tight as you could, being hit over and over with floating rubble it cutting through your shirt and pants you back taking most of the hits as you held on to her. Coming back above water you held on to a telephone poll trying to catch your breath Arianna crying and coughing, she had swallowed water but so had you, a lot.

“I wanna go home..” she cried holding on to your side.

She was terrified but as of now so were you. You could tell you were hurt but weren’t sure how bad just yet. The second hand wave hit throwing you both of the poll you had gin under then bam.

Your head was hit hard and knocked out cold. God knows how long you may have been out but when you woke up you were faced with some unfamiliar soilders. Arianna was no longer with you not that you could see going to sit up it felt like you ripped yourself in half. The soilders tried laying you back down be even through the pain you looked around for her.

“Where is she.” You groaned your voice sounded horrible. You just hoped you didn’t drag her under drowning her from your unconscious.

“She’s right there sweetheart.” The woman soilder said pointing to the girl being lifted in the truck.

“She was awake when we found you laying next to you but held close you had her tide to you good idea but could have been fatal for both of ya.” She spoke moving your wet curl out of your face.

“What time is it,”

She looked at you as she lifted the stretcher you were on up “it’s almost midnight-”

“Is it still the 28th?” You asked hissing at the movements.

“No lass it’s the 29th.” The familiar Scottish voice sounded.

“Oh god, we’ve been out here for more than 12 hours.” You spoke your head turning twords soap who looked happy to see you.

“Ghost had us out here as soon as your radio disconnected.” He spoke softly.

You felt tears run down your face as soon as you sw Simon his face close to your as the hauled you off to the medic.

“You scared me so much love, oh my dear.” He spoke his eyes wandering you your uniform wet and torn up blood soaked through the fabric your gorgeous dark complexion beat up with cuts.

“I found her Si.. tell her mom I found her..” you spoke, you watched as he nodded telling you that they had reunited successfully. He didn’t leave out how sacred he was that he lost you and that the conditions you were oc could’ve been fatal and much worse.

“They thought you were dead when they found you..” Simon spoke his hand still on your cheek rubbing it softly.

“I didn’t die, I promised yeah?” You responded, the pain starting to ease in to you.

“How bad is it Love, my back.”

His lips pursed together “it’s bad but we can’t lay you on your stomach either the did a quick stitch when the found you,” Simon answered. “The whole left side of you back was split open that’s how Johnny explained it to me.”

Made since you’re in so much pain. It wasn’t long till you started coughing Simon quickly putting you on your side once he heard chokeing. Blood a lot of it all that water you had swallowed was pretty much poisoning your insides tearing you apart.

Then it became throw up, Simons voice yelling for a doctor as you threw up blood. Harsh sobs came from you as it started to stop it hurt feel like acid. “I wanna go home, this isn’t how I wanted to spend my Christmas..” you cried.

You could care less if you sounded selfish, but you wanted to hold your girls watch their faces as they opened their presents. “We need to go home Simon..”

“I know love I know, just 12 more hours here and price has us out of here we have done our part for now proper rescue is going to come in. Just hold on a bit longer for me please.” He spoke his forehead touching yours and you cried.

He wish he’d gone with you but the out come may have been worse then it already was you both planned on returning home no matter what. You where sent her for a simple rescue and count but Simons wife was now on the table of a hospital with almost infected stitches and just finished throwing up blood. He needed to get to home now.

Even when you did go home you were rushed to a hospital getting proper care and you were out into a surgery, a lot of fucking stitches. You were in for months of recovery, but it could have been more fatal you could have been paralyzed if you were impaled on 4 more inches.

“We’re home love. You’re safe.” He said laying next to you.

.˚₊‧ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ‧₊˚.

This is random and probably horribly written but I couldn’t stop thinking about it after watching the movie The Impossible. But if you do end up reading I hope you like this mess!!

#ghost cod #black fem reader #x black reader #ghost mw2 #ghost x black reader #simon ghost riley #simon riley #simon riley x black reader #simon riley x reader #dad!simon riley #simon riley cod #simon ghost x reader #simon riley x you #ghost simon riley #ghost mwii #ghost x reader #gh

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khaleesiofalicante · 3 years

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bestie do you really think it's funny to make me cry?

OK WHERE DO I START AUJHUJHDSDUJHFV

deep bre-INCOHERENT SCREAMING

That's it. that's all I have to say.

THEY PASSED THE CHILD PROTECTION BILL I'M GONNA BE CRYING IN A CORNER IF ANYONE NEEDS ME

All those shadowhunters who ran back to Idris I hope you starve to death there. have fun!

Anjali is so awesome OH MY GOD I LOVE HER ALREADY

Rafael is THAT kid I see...it suits him so well.

It had been two very long years stuck in this small office room. But every time Alec saw the way David giggled when Lexi called her father Jalapeno poppers or some other equally ridiculous name, Alec knew it was worth all the trouble.

THIS OMG I'M NOT OK

Alec wondered if that’s why so many leaders before him had been awful. It was easy to be a bad leader. But it took effort to be a good one.

This is so true...I'm so proud of him...

Dani...bestie THAT IMMORTALITY CRISIS WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO ME. I know it's gonna happen but I was having a very good day. why do you hurt me in such ways... (I'm pretty sure my family thinks I'm mentally unstable after the way I screamed reading)

“Anjali,” Diego sighed. “What have I told you about doors?”

“Knock them down?”

“I said knock on them!” Diego corrected, shaking his head. “Not knock them down!”

I'm in love.

HUHYUHKSDYKFVYUFVYU ALEC'S CONSUL VOICE I'M SCREAMING

SIMON BESTEST!! HIM SORTING THE STUDENTS INTO THESE GROUPS I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!! AND ANJALI BESTIE GOOD LUCK AT BEATING THE SEELIES!! (good luck with stealing the weapons)

well, Rafael do you perhaps have a little crush? (Grammarly ik I'm writing in lowercase stfu)

ok ok I know this is pretty sad but every time someone gives Magnus or Alec the "you haven't talked to him yet?" look I start laughing-

ALEC'S SO CLUELESS ABOUT MAX AND DAVID I CANT-

“So, you are just going to leave me here and go to York then?” Max demanded now; all puppy dog eyes. “Like my mom left me at the academy?”

Yeah. He took the news a little too well.

MAX PLAYING THE ADOPTED CARD I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

“Is it because you don’t like me?” Max pouted again. “Like my mom…Who left me all alone.”

“You can’t play the adopted card with me, you lil shit,” Rafael laughed. “I’m adopted too.”

I'M SO IN LOVE LEAVE ME ALONE

AWW MAX SEEING THE INSTITUTE AND IMMEDIATELY GOING "David would love this" ISTG THIS KID I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

“Weren’t you listening to a podcast on Mayan Civilization during breakfast?” Alec raised an eyebrow.

“Bapak said it’s historically accurate!” Rafe argued.

“Bapak is not that old!” Alec countered.

“Maybe he is,” Max said, analyzing the paintings on the walls. “Maybe you don’t know it.”

“Excuse me, I know how old my husband is,” Alec said indignantly.

“Then where are the receipts dad?” Max asked. “Show us the receipts!”

Where are the receipts, Alec? EXACTLY!

THANK GOD SOMEONE ELSE HAS CAUGHT ON TO MAX'S VERY OBVIOUS CRUSH

“I think he likes David,” Rafe whispered.

“Of course he does,” Alec whispered back. Why were they whispering? “David is a sweet boy.”

“No. I think he ‘likes him’ likes him,” Rafael giggled.

Alec looked at his son sharply. “But-He is..Da..They are children!”

“You’ve never heard a childhood crush?” Rafe grinned.

“No, I was too busy…studying,” Alec sniffed.

“That’s not what I heard,” Rafael bit his lip. “I heard you had a thing for boys in motorcycle jackets.”

“Okay that’s it! You are not allowed to hang out at Hotel Dumort anymore,” Alec said.

Really Alec? Studying? REALLY???

MAX AND RAFE RACING TO THE TRAINING ROOM!!!

the reference to the infernal devices...I'M GONNA KILL THE ALREADY DEAD STARKWEATHERS! I'M ABOUT TO DO SOME NECROMANCY SHIT TO BRING THOSE FUCKERS BACK JUST TO KILL THEM SLOWLY

Hugs max it's gonna be ok buddy.

In that moment, Alec remembered all the talks.

He remembered how his mother had lectured Izzy about not going out alone late at night, but she hadn’t said anything to Jace or Alec.

He remembered the way Jem spoken quietly to Mina in soft Mandarin about how people might call her names, but he hadn’t said anything to Kit.

He remembered the way Julian had told Ty to be careful about kissing his boyfriend in public, but he hadn’t said anything to Dru.

I hate this so damn much. I hate it. It sucks how there will always be people who will be targeted for being born the way they are. Whether it be skin color, sexuality, body type, or anything, people will always fucking talk and make the world unsafe for certain people just because they aren't generic male cishets. If you're a girl you're in danger. If you're a POC you're in danger, If you're neurodivergent you're in danger. If you're a member of the LGBTQ community you're in danger. If you're disabled you're in danger. If you're part of any minority you're in danger. If you dare to be different you're in danger. Fuck people. I'm a queer POC female and it's scary. I don't want to be always checking my surroundings when I'm out. I shouldn't have to feel this scared walking out of my own house but I do and it sucks. Ok, I feel like I'm derailing from the main point here.

Sorry for that just got really heated for a second there.

NO NOT THE NIGHTMARE. BABY NO

DAVID MY CHILD!! OMG, HE'S GONNA TAKE UP ARCHERY SOMEONE HOLD ME WHILE I CRY!

“This is who you are,” David said, his voice oddly soft now. Softer than usual. “And you’re beautiful.”

Alec blinked at that.

“Blue,” David said quickly. “I meant you’re blue. Uh, yes.”

BESTIE I SAW WHAT YOU SAID THERE. WE ALL DID

Also, alec sitting outside max's room...IM GONNA-

“David is in there,” Alec whispered. “I just wanted to…check…if everything was okay.”

“Alexander, are you spying on our child?” Magnus demanded. “Without me???”

“What? No! I-”

“Move over!” Magnus sank down next to him. “What are they saying? Are they kissing?”

“WHAT? They are not kissing!” Alec said in alarm. “Wait. Are they???”

He couldn’t hear anything now. Alec panicked.

“I haven’t talk to the kids about kissing yet,” Magnus pointed out. “We can’t talk to Max without talking to Rafael first.”

“Wait. Is Rafael kissing people???”

“Rafael is not kissing people,” Rafael replied as he walked past them to the kitchen. “Also, you guys are shit at whispering.”

Alec rolled his eyes at him and turned to Magnus. “It’s stressful enough that we need to talk about racism in the shadow world. Now we need to talk about kissing??”

“And other stuff,” Magnus chuckled.

Alec groaned into Magnus’ shoulder. “By the angel. Fine. We’ll just tell them there is no kissing. Until they are 30.”

“Hypocrite,” Rafael coughed into his hand as he walked back to the table with a bag of chips.

THIS WHOLE SCENE OH MY GOD.

And srsly alec? 30? really? whips out the extract "kissed" from cassie's website According to my files here-

“And David?”

“Yes, sir?”

“The bedroom door stays open from now on.”

David blinked, his cheeks pink. “I…What?”

“Door stays open,” Alec said, lowering his voice, just a register. “Is that understood?”

AYY ALEC DAD MODE YUCDUHDFHFUHJIUHC THIS IS SO AMAZING IM GONNA SCREAM

Alec advising David with the bow is so close to my heart...IDK WHY IT JUST IS

That conversation...PEOPLE FUCKING SUCK I HOPE HUMANS GO EXTINCT BECAUSE I SURE AM READY TO DIE SO LET'S TAKE THE EARTH DOWN-

“Why don’t shadowhunters have acne?”

"What?" Alec blinked.

“Their skin is like so freaking perfect and smooth and they can just freaking go through puberty without a one freaking pimple and don’t even get me started on the freaking dimples and then-”

Magnus started laughing. Alec felt a little confused.

EXACTLY MY THOUGHTS !!!!! THAT DAMN ANGEL BLOOD

That part about how we normalize these little things which are actually hurtful...I didn't realize that. I guess we really do, huh? This just made me want to be more careful with others and if I feel others do this with me, to stop them and correct them.

I loved this chapter so much. You're such a great writer.

I wanted to share something of my own now!! I FINALLY GOT MY COPY FOR RWARB!!!! I told my parents it was a thriller about how the first son and the prince forge a friendship and discover secrets about the government and the monarchy-

The place I bought it from sent me a very cute bookmark. It's a pride bookmark and it's just my first ever pride merch and I'm close to tears. Let's just say my family isn't the most accepting so this bookmark's really precious to me

Sorry, the quality isn't the best. I was in a hurry. It's almost 4 am now I'm gonna try and sleep (I'm gonna reorganize my bookshelf). See you on Tuesday!!

Thank you so much. I love reading your comments. They are so honest and full of life. You are going to LOVE rwrb. It's such a good book and it's so romantic and raw and perfect. Lmao about your parents. What they don't know can't hurt them ;) And I loooooooooove your bookmark. Be gay. Do crime.

PS -

"It sucks how there will always be people who will be targeted for being born the way they are. Whether it be skin color, sexuality, body type, or anything, people will always fucking talk and make the world unsafe for certain people just because they aren't generic male cishets. If you're a girl you're in danger. If you're a POC you're in danger, If you're neurodivergent you're in danger. If you're a member of the LGBTQ community you're in danger. If you're disabled you're in danger. If you're part of any minority you're in danger. If you dare to be different you're in danger. Fuck people. I'm a queer POC female and it's scary. I don't want to be always checking my surroundings when I'm out. I shouldn't have to feel this scared walking out of my own house but I do and it sucks. Ok, I feel like I'm derailing from the main point here."

THIS IS THE MAIN POINT. YOU GOT IT. SO CONGRATS <3

#THANK YOU ;)#lbaf

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ofcowardiceandkings · 3 years

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I think you mentioned listening to podcasts? Do you have any favorites to reccommend? I've run out of content :(

that i do !

im not entirely sure what kind of podcast you'd be interested in but i'll throw out a few of the goodies in my huge library of stuff , i'll miss out a few of the HUGE podcasts that have been all over tumblr though

a LOT of it is true crime or human interest stuff , or history because im nerd ,, and a few of these dont have nearly enough attention so [shrug] i'll try to keep this short i guess lol this isnt EVERYTHING ive got in my library or listened series' by any measure

i AM gonna pop a shout to both Stuff You Missed in History Class and Stuff You Should Know from iHeartRadio because their HUGE archives have kept me from losing my mind many times over , and they cover a wide range of both important and wacky topics

BomBARDed (ongoing) this is the only fiction podcast i have happening right now really but its DAMN GOOD ONE .... it's an actual-play D&D 5E podcast in the DMs own musically-inspired world, focussed on a group of multiclass bards going to music school !! and all players (+DM) are members of the Texas band Lindby !! and they actually use and play music in the show with one original song an episode !! Kyle's worldbuilding and storycraft are truly incredible, and (Nick) Goodrich, (also Nick) Spurrier, and Ali's characters are in depth and interesting as well as an absolute powerhouse :') i actually made a piece for its first fanzine, Bardic Dreaming, which published earlier this year and is free to view now, all the players and the community are super wholesome its just very good overall 💙

History & Humans;

Fall of Civilisations (ongoing) legit one of my favourite podcast finds, im so glad my youtube autoplayed one of these ... it took me like 2 hours to realise it was 1) not the same as what was playing before and 2) had been on for 2 hours and wasnt near finished lmao. anyway, this is a series by historical fiction writer Paul Cooper, and is honest to all thats good one of the best documentary series ive encountered in years - and ive consumed a LOT of documentaries. it covered the downfall of various civilisations through history, and the episodes run from an hour to FOUR hours depending on the topic. its so chill to listen to and just get done, but over the pandemic all of the episodes have been given full movie-quality video versions too on youtube if youre more of a visual person.

Casting Lots: A Survival Cannibalism Podcast (on series break) yeah that says that lol ... its a SUPER niche topic but its very interesting and treated very well despite being kind of comical at times, the hosts are just naturally funny lol ... it delves around from the history of cannibalism in whole regions to specific incidents as recently as the 1970s, and of course the first episode is about the Donner Party, and it covers things ive never heard of despite being kind of important ?? anyway Alix and Carmella are good eggs

Sawbones (ongoing) i probably dont need to mention much here other than say that Justin and Sydnee saved me from being SO BORED sooo often, the history of medicine is wacky as hell and its what most of my history GCSE was on so [shrugs]

Cautionary Tales (on series break) this was a wild-card find lol ... it's by Tim Harford "the undercover economist" who writes for the Financial Times, and its topics kind of weave modern topics and science with how to learn from historical errors ... its a bit weird but well worth a go, also each series has a few celebrity guest voice actors which is pretty awesome

Ephemeral (ongoing) this is a very strange but thought provoking series about sounds and other things just barely saved. topics include the last castrato, the hello girls, hand-stamped records, the spread of kīkā kila music, and acoustic fossils of wild places.

Neat! The Boozecast (ongoing) history and bartending whats not to like lol ... hosted by Teylor Smirl and now their dad Tommy, they're just digging around in how important booze is to human culture

True Crime (white collar and weirdness);

Swindled (ongoing) this is an amazing show full stop. A Concerned Citizen details some of the most impactful and unruly things to happen in white collar and corporate crime. very factually accurate but given the sheer bullshit of the topics the deadpan snarking is [chefs kiss] absolutely warranted ..

American Scandal (on series break) this one is a series within a series type, and spends a few episodes at a time poking holes in some of America's biggest scandals, from a dramatised but fact-based point of view. such as what the hell was going on with Enron, how big tobacco was forced to own up to covering its own ass, how Iran-Contra happened, etc. it also now has a sister show called British Scandal, which does the same thing for British cases but with a slightly different format.

Missing in Alaska (finished) this was a fascinating series, a deep dive into what happened to two US government officials who disappeared on a small chartered flight in Alaska in 1972. it goes some really strange places, but it actually turned up a lot of previously unknown information through the audience. John Walczak's new series in a new feed is Missing on 9/11 which looks into what happened to Dr Sneha Philip.

Pretend (ongoing) Host Javier Leiva holds interviews with anyone living a lie, or who have been touched by them. con artists, snake oil salesmen, former cult members, catfishing victims, anyone and everyone.

Power: The Maxwells (finished) hosted by journalist Tara Palmeri, the story of media tycoon Robert Maxwell from nothing to empire to mysterious death and the scandals uncovered after he was gone.

Lets Talk About Sects (ongoing) Sarah Steele covering cults from around the world, in particular those in Australia - where she is from. She often has former members on the show to share their stories, and share knowledge of how they left. each story has the relevant content warnings at the start of each episode.

Brainwashed (finished) investigation of the CIA's covert mind control experiments, centred on the experiments performed at a hospital in Montreal, and its cultural impact.

Dr Death (2 series finished) two series investigating huge cases of fraud and medical malpractice, and how they were brought to a stop. series 1 covers Dr Duntsch and his horribly butchered neurosurgery, series 2 covers Dr Fata and his fraudulent cancer clinic

The Immaculate Deception (finished) untangling the weird and disturbing fertility fraud of Dr Jan Karbaat, who fathered children himself through his fertility clinic, and the impact of his deception. later episodes also touch on other similar cases.

True Crime (Violent/General);

The Casual Criminalist (ongoing) Simon Whistler of-the-many-youtube-channels cold reads a script about the case of the day, with some of his daft commentary thrown in.

Southern Fried True Crime (ongoing) Crimes from the American South hosted by Erica Kelley, she puts all the facts out there but refreshingly for true crime she doesnt hesitate to tell you if she thinks someone is human garbage lol

They Walk Among Us (ongoing) probably one of the most popular UK crime podcasts, very measured and well put together, not weird or annoying about it either.

All Crime No Cattle (ongoing, feed slowed down for now) specifically about crimes from Texas, hosted by Erin and Shay, they're very sensitive hosts and a lot of the cases they cover shed light on why the Texas criminal system is how it is or show an impact at a national level

Canadian True Crime (ongoing) Canadian crime from an Aussie who's lived there for a decade, Kristi is again a sensitive and measured host covering some important topics

True Crime (Violent/Deep Dive);

Hitman (finished) journalist Jasmyn Morris digs around in the sticky tangle around a book published by fringe publisher Paladin Press, and its apparent use as a blueprint in the killing of a mother, her friend and her 8 year old boy for financial gain.

Camp Hell: Anneewakee (ongoing) this series is exploring how a wilderness camp "correctional facility" was endorsed by the Georgia care and juvenile reform system, despite widespread abuses and shady practices the whole time. warning for csa and child cruelty throughout.

True Crime Bullshit (on series break) this one is a huge huge rabbithole but a very interesting one where the host Josh Hallmark has spent years digging into the life and potential crimes of Israel Keyes. Keyes is often mentioned as a serial killer with no pattern, but in picking it apart thats not quite true, and has sparked some re-evaluations of missing persons cases and stumbling upon information the FBI has redacted organically. there's also a series in the middle looking into the crimes of Kelly Cochran

Forgotten: Women of Juárez (finished) this series looks into the huge numbers of missing women of Ciudad Juárez, the strange circumstances surrounding them, and the potential cover-ups and corruptions on both sides of the border, trying to give a voice to all of the forgotten women and girls and their families without answers. the series itself is finished, but a spanish language edition is being released every week now.

aaaaaand i'll call it there before i list everything lol, i hope you find something to plug your boredom hole with !!

#audio #rory's ramblings #podcasts #asks #anon #long post

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toyfrog · 7 years

Text

A Lesson in Retconning: Don't forget Your Audience hasn't.

Imagine this on your TV

CUT TO:

[Aram and Tom at the park with Agnes discussing the case while stopping at a coffee stand. A vendor twists balloons into animals.]

Aram: Mr. Cooper isn’t going to like this.

Tom: Aram, relax. It’s no big deal. All you’re doing is passing information to me, so I can help out. Ressler shut me down-

Aram: ah because it’s illegal and we all could go to jail for it.“

Tom: Only if someone squeals. Look, Liz doesn’t want to discuss the case with me. I don’t know what’s going on with her lately, [beat] but if she sees me helping her, maybe it will-”

Aram: You asking me to break the law just so you can score points with your wife who’s not even speaking to you right now.

Tom: I’m desperate.

[Intercut to Aram distracted by the balloon vendor he does a double take]

Aram: oh my-excuse me for a moment [Walks over to man and two children a boy and a girl.] Navib? It’s me. Aram Mojtabai.“

[Intercut Tom with Agnes looks over curious. Aram, feeling the weight of guilt, glances back and forth]

Navib: Aram, its good to see you.

Aram: Wow. They’re so big. How are they doing?

Navib: Good says, bad days. But today is a good day. Children! There is someone I want you to meet. This is Tatitana and Simon.

Aram: hello. Ah who wants a pink poodle? Or a blue duck?

[Intercut to Tom interrupting]

Tom: Hey, Aram, we should be getting Agnes back-oh Hello, my name is-[extends hand]

Aram: Ah, Tom thisis[beat] Navib. Navib, Tom. We should go.

Navib: a pleasure. What a beautiful child.

Tatitana: oh I love babies. She’s so cute. What’s her name?

Tom: Agnes.”

Navib: This is my daughter Tatiana, and my son Simon. My wife-

Aram- Used to work with me.

Tom: Oh. great. Well, Tatiana, I was thinking about taking my wife out to dinner tomorrow. How would like to sit for Agnes?

Aram: [Frets] Oh, that’s not-. I’ll watch her. After all Im one of her godparents.

Tom: no no don't be silly this is exactly what I need. I’ll pay you 10$ an hour for four hours . [writes and address] if it’s okay with your Dad? [Hands paper]

Tatiana: Please Daddy?

Navib: [Takes address] Oh all right. But you will take her home, yes? I’m very protective of my children.

Tom: Don’t worry. Your daughter is safe with me.

[Hold On Aram mortified]

FTB

Fade In

Night

Post Office

[Aram at his work station preoccupied. Samar plops a file on his desk breaking his concentration]

Samar: here’s the Warren file. Cooper asked me-oh sorry. Did I startle you?“

Aram: Ah no. I was uh I was just- [Beat] I did a terrible thing.

Samar: You?

Aram: Yes.

Samar: You? Impossible. What did you bounce a check?

Aram: no I ah-I found a babysitter for Tom-well I didn’t find her [beat] I mean she was in the park and it was so awkward. Staring into her eyes knowing what I did-If I were Catholic I’d be in confession right now.

Samar: what is so terrible about about finding a babysitter?

Aram: Tom and Liz aren’t even speaking to each other right now. Do you know what that’s about?

Samar: Should I?

Aram: I dunno. It doesn’t matter what I did will surely make things worse. Not only that I’m a hypocrite.

Samar: Aram-

Aram: I can’t even bring myself to say it. I gotta go. If Mr Cooper yells-tell him I’m at confession.

Samar: but your not Catholic-

Aram: After tonight I may convert.

[He leaves.]

[Ressler approaches]

Ressler: what’s with him?

Samar: I dunno. Said he needed to go to confession.

Ressler: Aram? For what bouncing a check?

Samar: that’s what I said. But no, said it has to do with Tom and Liz.

[Hold OnnRessler]

Cut To:

Tom/Liz Apartment

[Liz walking on eggshells, finishes prepping for her "date” with Tom. She’s gorgeous, refined, and carries Agnes over her swing.]

Liz: Oh, Agnes. I don’t know how this night will go just-Know Mommy’s trying. [Door knocks] That must be your daddy. [Opens] oh. Hi. You must be Tatiana, right?

Tatiana: right. Liz? Wow, you’re pretty.

Liz: Thank you.

Tatiana: oh she’s so cute. Hi Agnes, it’s me Tatiana from the park.

Liz: So Tom didn’t say how he met you?

Tatiana: oh, Because of Aram.

Liz: [Puzzled] Aram?

Tatiana: Yes. He used to work with my mom.

Liz: Really? At NSA?

Tatitana: No, my mom worked for the CIA.

[Door knocks]

Tatitana: do you want me to get that?

Liz: [Wind knocked out of her] no ah, you play with the baby. [Opens] Hi.

Tom: Wow, Liz. You look amazing. I cannot wait to have this night with you. [Gives a sultry kiss on the cheek, then grins. Eyes Tatiana] hey, you made it.

Liz: Tatitana was telling me Her mother used to work with Aram.

Tom: Yeah isn’t that a coincidence?

Liz: She said her mother worked in the CIA

Tom: Interesting. So, you ready to go? We got a sitter, and dinner reservations at 8.

Liz: Tatiana's mother, was a [long beat] a dear friend.

Tom: Well maybe you two could get reacquainted. I’m sure That could be arranged.

Liz: Tom-

Tom: I mean you don’t have many friends, I’m sure-

Liz: Tom-

Tom: that your mom would love to get reacquainted.

Liz: Tom!

Tom: what?

Tatiana [pullsout a picture] It’s okay it’s not his fault. This is my Mom. She died four years ago.

[Hold on Tom White as a sheet]

Tom: Meera Malick.

Cut To:

[Aram in a confessional nervous as a virgin.]

Aram: Ah, bless me father for I have sinned. I- am not even Catholic but, I need contrition.

Priest: it is all right my son.

Aram: I don't know how to start but I [Beat] had a friend. A beautiful friend, a dedicated officer of the law. Our job is to uphold the constitution. To defend the innocent. Apprehend the guilty but that's not what I did. I looked the other way.

Priest: You betrayed this friend of yours?

Aram: Yes, Father. I stood in the face of my own judgment. And it felt wrong. I haven’t slept. I haven’t eaten. I can no longer turn away from what I feel.

Priest: and what is that my son?

Aram: I live in a world of deep charcoal gray, sometimes not everything is morally wrong. But this time, when Her eyes gazed back at me with trust and innocence, I [beat] looked away forgive me God.

Cut To:

[Tom shattered by Tatiana’s truth, stands in silence. Intercut to Liz]

Liz: ah Tatiana, ( reaches into her purse] I don’t think we will be going out tonight after all. Here, I’m so so sorry. I hope that’s enough.

Tatiana: are you sure?

Liz: Yeah, I just got a text, and I have to work after all. Right Tom?

Tom: ah. Yea. Yea.

Liz: Tatiana I will drive you home, before I leave for work, while Tom watches Agnes.

Tom: I can take her home.

Liz: No! I will take her home.

Tatiana: I’m so sorry. But will you consider me next time?

Liz: sure. You bet.

Tom: Tatiana, I uh [wipes mouth] I’m really really sorry about your mother. If I had the power to make things right, I would.

Tatiana: [innocent doe eyes] thank you. Agnes is lucky to have her mom and Dad.

[Liz disgusted, exits with Tatiana leaving Tom to sit in silence, cradle his face.

FTB

Fade In

[Liz escorts Tatiana to her door is greeted by Navib]

Navib: Oh, Back so soon?

Liz: Yes, I [beat] got called into work unexpectedly. Hello Navib.

Navib: Hello Liz. [They hug] Smal world, isn’t it?

Liz: Tatiana is lovely. I am embarrassed to admit out loud that I didn’t recognize her but [Beat] Meera would be so proud. [Liz sees a picture of Meera on the mantel] not a day goes by, that [beat]

Navib: we miss her too. I’m so happy for you. A daughter. Congratulations.

Liz: Thank you. I’m so so sorry, again please believe me when I say, if I could [beat]

Navib: her job was dangerous. She knew the risks. What angers me to this day is her case became classified. We don’t know if the man responsible paid for his cowardly act-

[Hold on Liz nauseous]

Cut To:

[Tom Opens his door to find Aram]

Aram: I know it’s late and you and Liz have plans but I have something to say-

Tom: I know

Aram: [Simultaneously] You cannot let her babysit-You know?

Tom: yes. [Ushers him in] Liz isn’t here she ah went to take Tatitana home. Wow. This is [beat] awkward.

Aram: I came here to tell you something. It’s not meant to be cruel or judgmental. It’s for me. I know you’re married to Liz, have a beautiful child with her, but Meera would be alive today if you hadn’t infiltrated the post office. You sent a kill list for all of us. Cooper almost died-he spent weeks in the ICU and I looked the other way-because Agent Keen loved you! [Beat] But I-I can’t do that anymore. Everyday Tatiana and Simon, wake up without their mother. Every morning you wake up to your daughter and Liz.

Tom: if you’re trying to tell me you feel guilty, it couldn’t be even a tenth of what I’m feeling.

Aram: It’s not about you. Or what you feel. Or what I feel. It’s about Tatiana. I could’ve told her who you are-the man responsible for her mother’s murder. But I chickened out. Like the coward I am. I just stood there in shame. I love Agnes. She’s a beautiful little girl. But if she knew the truth about what you’ve done, her image of you would shatter. You murdered innocent people. You should be in prison. But I won’t let Agnes live with what you did. But neither should you.

[He walks out]

[Hold on Tom shattered staring back at Agnes]

FTB

Fade In

[Liz arrives home. Removes her coat. Sees everything tidy. Notices a suitcase. Tom enters]

Tom: I know what you’re gonna say:

Liz: No I don’t think you do. The only reason I held you prisoner on that ship for two months was to get Berlin to avenge Meera. I kept telling myself over and over that’s why I was doing it. But it wasn’t true. I held u prisoner so I could play house like this. A sick twisted fantasty. For the past year in some sort of altered universe, I’m still doing that. Playing. Acting. Living a lie like One big happy family!

Tom- Liz-

Liz- Don’t! I betrayed Meera. She trusted me! When she interrogated you she was right about you. I betrayed her and everyone because of you. I even betrayed Agnes! What kind of a mother lies to her own child?

Tom: Liz cmon-

Liz: every month, Lt. Aames daughter receives 3k dollars from my IRA-for college because I can’t bring her father back. I stood in Meera’s home staring at family photos. I had to leave the bile rose in my throat. I had to pullover to the side of the road to vomit. My knees buckled and brow sweat from the guilt. But I needed that wake up call to snap me back to reality.

Tom: I know. That’s why I’m [beat] moving out. The spell is broken, we cannot pretend that I didn’t do those things because: I did. And I don’t want to one day explain to Agnes that I murdered innocent people. I’m not a good man. You and Agnes made me a better man. But-I’ve got to go.

Liz: I’m sorry, I just can’t do it anymore. I cannot pretend and say, this is perfect or the ideal life I dreamed of having because I'm lying to myself and I just don't want to do that anymore.

Tom: I know. [He picks up the suitcase takes it over to the door. Goes to pick up Agnes.] Everything I did, was for her.

[Liz nods as he picks up his suitcase and leaves]

#Skit #theblacklist #HowToWriteA180Flip

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nanshe-of-nina · 7 years

Text

Incorrect Crusades Quotes

Raimond IV de Tolosa: the fool tries to make one million dollars.... but the wise man knows that its much easier to make $0.000001 dollars one trillion times

Guglielmo Embriaco: Arrives 15 minutes late with siege towers.

Pope Urbanus II: UNITED NATIONS: ah!! please help us! we need just a normal man's opinion!! we got you a seat ME: How'm I to trust you, while God is bleeding

Étienne Henri, comte de Blois: Hell Yes;. the army is putting me and my guns on a plane back to iraq. Thius is like real life DLC

Matilde di Canossa: disappointed by lack of respect for the pope by the goofus brigade. i on the other hand respect the mans ass cheeks. i respect the mans legs

Alexios I Komnenos: I am Mediterranean Man! Hear my cry: TZATZIKIIIIIIiiiiiii and tremble with fear.TZATZIKIIIIIIiiiiiii and away!

Pierre l’Ermite: me and a bunch of stupid assholes are going to start a community in the middle of the desert to either die or prove a very important point.

Baudouin Ier de Jérusalem: im gay too and i love shit and im a nerd.

Bohémond de Hauteville: THERAPIST: your problem is, that youre perfect, and everyone is jealous of your good posts, and that makes you rightfully upset. ME: I agree

Hugues Ier, comte de Vermandois: i may be a dim-witted narcissist but at least i hafve really good opinions about life and other things

Morphia of Melitene: I AM VERY BAD ARMENIAN LADY ! I AM SO BAD THAT EVEN DEVOL IS AFRAID OF ME ! I WILL TEAR ENYBODYS SPIRIT & GIVE IT TO HIM ; WHO PUT DISLIKE !

Hugues de Payens: girlsl... i shall virtuously employ the expansive breadth of my tech wisdom to protect you all from Daesh... even if you dont follow me...

Danishmend Gazi: prince hussein…wheres my goodboy bailout

Tancrède de Hauteville: my romantic girl friend sees the super blood moon reflected in my greased back hair and pledges then and there to bow to christ our master

Thomas de Marle, seigneur de Coucy: I wanna live inside a castle built of your agony. AND I WANT TO CRUMBLE IT WITH AN AXE TO YOUR CAROTID ARTERY!

Kilij Arslan I: @danishmend pass the savings onto me mother fucker

Al-Mustazhir: "buckwild" or "hogwild"?? im writing a poem for my gf

Anna Komnēnḗ: He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I’m a girl so I didn’t get one you sicko.

Imad ad-Din Zengi: each 'Ridge' in your crinkle-cut potato chip costs 4 gallons of precious slave blood to create and adds a satisfying "Cruntch" to every bite

Thierry d'Alsace, comte de Flandre: this post is 2 years old. ive since lost custody of my children and my wife left me. still wild about candles

Anfós Jordan de Tolosa: my followeres, who all hate me, and wish to kick my ass, are nobodys, and they lack the combat training to injure me, because theyre infants

Enrico Dandolo: Everything happens for a reason, little one. And that reason is me.

Hodierne de Jérusalem: 12 year slave huh? sounds like my marriage. which I dont enjoy. to the degree that it is succinctly described by that particular movie title

Alix de Jérusalem: announcin,g in 2016 my new brand alliance with cool arab man

Sybille d’Anjou: im moving to israel, where the boys are nice, as soon as i get confirmation that they use the same kind of toilet paper that we use here

Raimon de Peitieus: im sorry to Wawa for attempting to behead myself in one of their restrooms. i promise to take the Wawa experience more seriously from now on

Andrónikos I: If a billion people have to be impaled to prove it, my worthiness as a Komnēnós will be DEMONSTRATED.

Louis VII de France: in another life... i would make U stay...

Renaud de Châtillon: i put years of hard work into getting my torture degree at torture college & now everyones like "oh tortures bad","its ineffective" fuck off

Friedrich I, Holy Roman Emperor: the conflicted supersoldier stares over the horizon as he smokes a cigarette. "war is the most fucked up thing ever." he takes a sip of beer

Imad ad-Din al-Isfahani: what happens when kirby swallows the qur'an and is granted its considerable power. my 81 chapter fanfic explores this issue -- and more

Heinrich der Löwe, Herzog von Sachsen: Wow, I do not care about that problem.

Henry II of England: i said im sorry. ive taken my lashes upon the cross. my brand is still good and anyone who cant see that is worthless

Agnès de Courtenay: looks like im forced to address false rumors that i own 3 dildos on a shelf labelled "breakfast" "lunch" & "dinner". this is an absurdity .

Amaury Ier de Jérusalem: MarioGodKenneth is stuck in prison again and ive received $0 in donations towards his bail.

Salah ad-Din: We ran in with our wands out just as we heard a croon voice say. “Allah Kedavra!”

Bertran de Bòrn: Im a monk in real life, the matrix is real and hummingbirds and other really fast animals are proof positive that bullet time eixists

Corrado del Monferrato: if a sniper shot me i would run over to where he is and kick the gun out of his hand and kill him because hes not specialized in melee fight

Guy de Lusignan: Our only hope now is that the enemy kills so many of us, they become slightly depressed.

Bonifacio del Monferrato: This is a Bulgar hunt, man! A Bulgar hunt! Game over, man! Game over!

Richard I of England: cant wait to get back to iraq and blast some ragheads-- itll be just like halo but with less lag #tcot #nowTHATSghetto #nowplaying #bun

Leopold V., Herzog von Österreich: (in really quiet, barely audible voice) hope your dick falls of bitch

Philippe II de France: wish Obama would authorize some drone strikes against my ex-wife!

Baudouin IX, comte de Flandre: "i wish they got, WiFi down here" - guy who died in the paris catacombs

Simon IV de Montfort: I love the smell of heretics in the morning. You know, one time we set an entire town on fire, for 12 hours. The smell, you know that burning flesh smell, the whole town. Smelled like victory.

Alexios IV Angelos: Local man ruins everything

Raimon-Rogièr, comte de Fois: bigmouth fake priest telling me to "drink a shitload of holy water and kill yourself" as penance? this has happened at three churches now

Friedrich II, Holy Roman Emperor: I will tell you this right now: I’m from hell. Im highly fucked up. Ive been known to say rude things and watch the carnage unfold brutally

Thibaut Ier de Navarre: i do enjoy spending my weekends "Joining the Army". oh how i hate when monday rolls around & i must say goodbye to all of my soldier friends

Shajar Al-Durr: i ruminate over a scrapbook full of middle finger pics to keep myself demure, respectful and humble. "i deserve these", i utter shitheadedly

Louis IX de France: the nile river is red with blood and your fucking birthday present won't cleanse it. perspective, you fucking rat

Robert Ier, comte de Artois: Leeeeeeeeeeeeeroy!

Charles Ier de Naples: welp, time to rescue egypt from muslims. asomebody please carry all 900 pounds of me to the site of the protests. wait nevermind im good

Beatritz de Provença: What is the point of being married to a prince if he can't wield unfettered power to crush my enemies!?

Baibars: my name is Destyn. i build crossbows and sell weed to all your dads and im 15

Edward I of England: i am going to plunge a sword into our bed and officially end outr 40 yr marriage if you do not stop yelling while i am recording my stream's

#crusades #medieval #medieval history #european history #asian history #dril #history

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relationshipadviser-blog · 5 years

Text

Louise Redknapp: Strictly put the fire back in my belly but it didnt break up my relationship

New Post has been published on https://relationshipqia.com/must-see/louise-redknapp-strictly-put-the-fire-back-in-my-belly-but-it-didnt-break-up-my-relationship/

Louise Redknapp: Strictly put the fire back in my belly but it didnt break up my relationship

For 19 years, the former Eternal star gave up everything to play housewife to her famous footballer husband. So what does it feel like to have walked out on that life and reinvented herself?

The night before I meet Louise Redknapp, I go to see her in her latest West End show, 9 to 5 The Musical. She plays Violet, the character made famous by Lili Tomlin in the classic 1980 film, and in many ways the most obviously feminist character in the story. Redknapp herself is very enjoyable to watch, stomping around the stage, furiously pointing out that men get promotions for laughing at the bosss jokes while she is not even thanked for making the coffee. But, not long ago, this casting would have seemed bizarre.

Redknapp has been in the public eye for a quarter of a century, but she has never exactly been associated with feminism. After studying at the Italia Conti stage school, Louise Nurding, as she was then known, shot to fame at the age of 18 in the early 90s girl group Eternal, and then cemented her celebrity status by achieving that ultimate 90s ambition, marrying a footballer Jamie Redknapp, the son of manager Harry. Their telegenic union the pretty pop star and equally pretty sports star predated the Beckhams, but the Redknapps were a less flashy proposition. When their first child was born, in 2004, she quit her by then solo music career to live in what she frequently described as domestic bliss. Redknapp came across as sweet, unthreatening and a bit bland, and seemed destined for a contented life as a Surrey housewife with her two sons, Charley, now 14, and Beau, 10, living among the footballing dynasty. But then, in 2017, Redknapp did something that no one expected: she walked out of her marriage.

I meet Redknapp, 44, in a room in the Savoy hotel in London, just above the theatre where she is appearing in 9 to 5. As well as performing tonight, she will spend the afternoon finishing work on her upcoming album, Heavy Love, her first in 18 years, which will be released in October. Whatever emotional toll her divorce which was finalised in December 2017 has exacted on her, it has certainly motivated, or freed, her professionally.

Redknapp as Violet Newstead (centre) with Natalie McQueen and Amber Davies in 9 to 5 The Musical. Photograph: Simon Turtle

In tight black trousers, ankle boots and a loose dark top, her hair long and highlighted in various shades of gold and auburn, she looks almost identical to how she did in her pop heyday. She embraces me with the easy warmth of one who is very practised in the art of making strangers like her.

Did you see the show last night? Did you like it? Its fun, right? Oh good, Im so glad. You liked it, right? she says with more nervousness than I had expected: she was the one, after all, who chose a new storyline, and walked away.

We talk about the show, and Redknapp eagerly brings up how timely its revival is, off the back of the #MeToo movement. She insists she never experienced any sexual harassment when she was working as a 90s pop star and appearing in mens magazines: Maybe because I was so young, she suggests, which isnt the most credible reason. Or maybe because [Eternal] were so successful so quickly, so the record company cocooned us, she adds, which seems more plausible.

And yet she does feel a personal connection to 9 to 5: You know, its about female empowerment and I think Im at a stage of my life when I really need that, to stand up and be strong, she says.

Although Redknapp makes frequent references during our conversation to her gang of girlfriends, seeing her onstage the night before was the first time I had seen her surrounded by women since her Eternal days. For the past 20 years, whenever she was photographed she was invariably with her husband. I tell her it always surprised me that she was never part of the group of high-profile wives and girlfriends of other footballers, given how ready-made she seemed for that role. But she was never photographed out having a laugh with Colleen Rooney and Cheryl Cole. I think Jamie, being that slightly bit more old school, didnt want any of that. His sport is what comes first, no circus around it. So I just kept to myself, she says.

When Redknapp confirmed, in September 2017, that her seemingly perfect marriage was over, the circus around the two of them could hardly have been more hysterical. While the British public is very used to footballers leaving their wives, no one seemed to know what to make of the narrative being reversed.

It was more mutual than that but, yes, I moved out, she says, carefully, when I ask if she initiated the divorce. She was followed by battalions of paparazzi every night and the celebrity press tutted at her late nights on the town (to the theatre, where, at the time, she was starring in Cabaret).

With Jamie Redknapp in 2010, seven years before they split up. Photograph: Paul Grover/Rex/Shutterstock

At around the same time, Wayne Rooney was accused, again, of infidelity when he was caught drink driving with a young woman who was not his wife. But whereas Rooneys actions were treated with a benign just-Wayne-being-Wayne shrug by the public, Redknapp was nationally castigated for having a midlife crisis and abandoning her children. Did she notice the disparity between the coverage of the two stories?

I did. I felt it. And I felt really, really bullied. It made me want to scream. Just because I went back to work and my marriage wasnt working out doesnt mean I wasnt with my kids, she says with a rod of fury in her voice. And, yeah, when I was in Cabaret I wasnt putting them to bed every night, but its no different to a man in the City working late.

Or Jamie doing late-night football commentary? Yeah, on A League of Their Own. Jamie would then take the kids on holiday and the papers would say: Oh, what an amazing dad. And he is an amazing dad; I cannot say a bad word about Jamie when it comes to being a dad. But no one patted me on the back when Id taken the kids on Easter holiday on my own for the past 10 years. Jamie had to work doing the football, it was school holidays, so Id take them on holiday and never once did anyone say: What a great mum. It was really tough sitting back and not speaking up.

There was such widespread bafflement at Redknapps decision to leave her marriage that there was inevitable speculation about why. Many cited Strictly Come Dancing, on which Redknapp had appeared the previous year, and its record of ending relationships. Strictly put the fire back in my belly, but it didnt break up my relationship. After 20 years of marriage, it takes a lot more than that, scoffs Redknapp.

It was also suggested that Redknapp was having an affair with the model Daisy Lowe, who had appeared on Strictly with her. Redknapp reels back against the sofa when I mention this.

I really think the double standards were coming into play there, she says. Because people were adamant there had to be a specific reason for you leaving your husband? She nods: Yeah, and Daisy and I only went out together four times or something. So the idea [that I left my husband for Lowe] I remember my kids saying: Mum, are you going out with Daisy Lowe? And I had to say: Guys, no. I became peoples morning entertainment while they read their paper on the train and ate their croissant. I tried to laugh it off, but the damage these stories were doing to me and those around me was huge.

Redknapp or Louise Nurding as she was then with her Eternal bandmates in 1994. Photograph: Tony Larkin/Rex/Shutterstock

In order to understand the end of a marriage it is necessary to understand its beginnings and, for all the lurid speculation, the path that led the Redknapps to divorce was all too prosaic. When they married in 1998, she was at least as big a star as him, but she happily gave up her music career to be a wife and mother: It took me so long to get pregnant the first time four years so I was just so in love with my little boy, she says. And, for the first seven or eight years, it was quite nice to not have to worry about where your records going, or if people like you. But as time went on, Id drop the kids off at school, go home, walk the dogs and then go home and think: I have five hours until school pick-up. Thats a long day. It was fine when they were young, because Id pick them up at 12. Then it changed; theyre at school and doing sport, Jamie was doing his thing, and there was pure panic. I was lonely and I felt like I had nothing to say.

Redknapp and her ex-husband have been careful in speaking only positively of one another throughout their divorce, but hints of other narratives shine through the cracks. She refers to him as a family man and their marriage as traditional, and while he grew up in a close, old-fashioned family, she was the daughter of a very independent working mum, and, yes, maybe subconsciously, she agrees, that might have created some problems between them. She was not a football fan (No, never, she says, firmly and proudly), so I ask if it was ever a tiny bit dull being ensconced with the Redknapps, given that her then husband, father-in-law and husbands cousin, Frank Lampard, are all football royalty. I think I just got used to it, she says with a winning smile.

Redknapps explanation about the split is that she had low self-esteem and didnt feel able to say she wanted to start working again, and in no way was that her ex-husbands fault. I wish Id spoken up and said how I felt, but I thought everyone would think I was nuts and say: Why are you low? Look at you, youre so lucky.

But if you had spoken up, would Jamie have been OK with you going back on the stage and in the studio? She pauses: I dont know. But at least Id have known I tried, she says.

So it was easier to leave than to say anything? Her voice drops: Maybe. We women dont make it easy for ourselves.

Given Strictlys record of ending relationships, I ask if she agreed to be on the show because she saw it as a way out of her marriage. You know, I like to think no. I like to think not at all. I think I just went into Strictly looking for something to do.

These days, Jamie still lives in the Surrey family home and Redknapp is a few minutes away and they share custody of their children. It is clear that she feels liberated by her divorce, so I ask if she plans to revert to her maiden name. She looks poleaxed by the suggestion. Ummm no. Its such a mum thing, but the thought of not having the same name as my kids, I could cry thinking about it. But maybe if Jamie gets married Id have to change it I dont know how that works, she says with an anxious giggle.

This leads us to talking about dating, and whereas Jamie has been photographed with several women, Redknapp has remained single. Its really hard for women. Im beginning to think Im never going to meet anyone Ive not been out for a meal, just me and a guy in a restaurant, in two years. That makes me sound really sad, doesnt it?

It takes a while to get over a 19-year marriage. Yeah, I think its easier for men, she says.

With her dance partner Kevin Clifton on Strictly Come Dancing in 2016. Photograph: PA/Guy Levy/BBC

It doesnt upset her when she sees her ex-husband out with other women (But, yes, of course, its hard for the boys. I tell them, Dads a single man and hes doing nothing wrong, she says). Sometimes, though, it is a bit strange. The day before we meet, he was photographed with the British model Lizzie Bowden, who was widely described in the press as a Louise Redknapp lookalike. It is kinda weird! And then I start looking at them thinking, Do they look like me? But hes got his taste, she says with a shrug.

I like Redknapp. Yes, she has that tendency, common to graduates of stage school, of affecting immediate intimacy, but there is an emotional honesty to her that is almost certainly born from the ordeal of the past two years. It is impossible not to cheer for a woman who for so long was defined in relation to others first a pop group, then a husband taking the risk to strike out on her own. And although many were surprised when she left her high-profile marriage, there has long been a more independent streak in her than her hotter-than-average girl-next-door image suggested. She did, after all, leave Eternal in 1995 after their hugely successful debut album to launch her solo career.

Id just had enough, she says. We were very different and had different directions. We werent harmonised. Girl bands are tough.

Does she mean they were fighting? Not fighting, just, um, different, she says, diplomatically.

She talks excitedly about her plans for the next decade: more albums, more musicals, and, of course, bringing up two teenagers.

But what Id really like to do is buy the rights to a movie and produce a stage show from it, she says.

Any in particular? Thelma and Louise, she replies, and smiles.

Louise Redknapps new single, Stretch, is out now. She appears in 9 to 5 The Musical until 29 June

Read more: http://www.theguardian.com/us

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Louise Redknapp: Strictly put the fire back in my belly but it didnt break up my relationship

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