#simon amstell

[panelshowsource]

🤝

#never mind the buzzcocks #simon amstell #phill jupitus #bill bailey #panel show #gifs #mine #mine:nmtb #nmtb 19.07 #1k

[maggiecheungs]

benjamin (2018) dir. simon amstell

#benjamin 2018 #simon amstell #colin morgan #screencaps #movie tag #queue

[sophaeros]

arctic monkeys in conversation with simon amstell for popworld, 2006 (x)

transcript:

simon: they never insist that they go on the tour bus with you and...touch you?

alex: we...just kind of insist that amongst ourselves, really, between...interband relations.

simon: oh you just touch each other?

alex: yeah.

simon: like bloc party?

alex: usually. Do they touch each other?

simon: ehh a little bit!

/end transcript

#bands #arctic monkeys #alex turner #jamie cook #wpsia era #popworld #simon amstell #suggestive text #thanku charlie for sending this in the server <3 #theyre talking abt obsessive fans btw #poly-am #they touch each other. #my transcript

[acastered]

please enjoy this compilation of my favourite Simon Amstell jokes on nmtb

#never mind the buzzcocks #simon amstell #britcom

[mr-merlin]

Oh, fuck the porridge.

#colin morgan #benjamin 2018 #he tried #phénix brossard #merlin cast #mr-merlinedit #my gifs #movie #gay #the boy has r a n g e #and this is iconic #benjamin #simon amstell

[the-tenth-arcanum]

happy monday

#*chanting* just another week and then you're off. just another week and then you're off. just anot- #simon amstell #*

[colinmorgan-beautifulsmile]

hi! do u still have the benjamin movie q & a on a google drive?

ty! :)

hi! i have video from the ones at the london film festival:

and audio from the curzon soho:

#colin morgan #benjamin #benjamin film #simon amstell #joel fry #phenix brossard

[adhd-merlin]

Ok so, @destielification asked about my Simon Amstell joke, and I'm not going to hijack poor @centurieslove's post but...

(Sorry, this isn't Merlin-related but it's tangentially about Colin Morgan, so it is at least Merlin-adjacent.)

Simon Amstell, if you didn't know, is a British stand-up comedian and certified weird little man.

I'm not, like, a Simon Amstell fan or anything, but I do like stand-up comedy. And I became aware of Simon Amstell some years ago after watching one stand-up show of his on YouTube, which is Do Nothing, which is still available, in fact, and you should definitely watch if you haven't because it's pretty good.

Now Simon's openly gay, and in Do Nothing he talks a lot about his romantic life, or lack thereof, and he jokes a lot about the type of men he finds attractive, who he describes as "ill-thin", "timid" and "vulnerable".

And one of the funniest bits in the show is one where he recounts an extremely awkward encounter with one such man — an actor Simon had "fallen in love with", despite never having talked to him.

So Simon went to see a play starring this actor in the hope of meeting him afterwards and maybe talking to him a bit, which didn't happen.

What did happen, though, is that a few weeks later Simon randomly bumped into the very same actor, love of his life, in a shop. And he decides there and then that it's destiny, and he must shoot his shot. (You can skip the quote below if you intend to watch the show, but I'm pasting it here because it's hilarious).

I saw him there, he hadn't seen me. He was about a metre away from me. There, that thin. And what I thought... For some reason, what I thought would be really cool and seductive would be to just stand in the middle of the shop and shout his full name. He turned round, alarmed. I could see the terror in his eyes, but because I'd started at a certain volume, I thought it'd be too odd to get any quieter. So I'm there just shouting about the good reviews this play has had and he's going, "Oh, I don't really read reviews." And he's all timid and vulnerable, which is why I love him. And I think the difference between us, because I think we were both quite shy as children... I say, "I think" — I did a lot of research on him.

And that man's name? Ben Whishaw. Apparently.

Look, I have no idea who claimed it first. I don't know if Simon admitted it in an interview at some point, or what. But it became An Established Fact™️ that the actor he was talking about was, indeed, Ben Whishaw. And if you watch Simon Amstell's show, and you know about Ben, well. It tracks. It makes perfect sense, actually.

Anyway, Simon talks to Ben, gives him his email address with some excuse or another. Ben promises to email him. And then, he doesn’t. Cue sad noises from the audience.

And that could have been the end of it, except that Simon, certified weird man, decided to be weird about it. And instead of letting it go, he elaborates his trauma by incorporating it into his writing.

And in case you think I'm exaggerating — here's what Simon himself wrote about it some time after the fact, in his own book. Straight from the horse's mouth.

A year later, the actor was in another play at the Royal Court. So I thought I’d give myself one more go at making him love me. I felt I’d written and performed all the insanity out of my head and was now ready for something real. I believed this because it would have been unbearable to accept that after all that transformative, healing comedy, I was still the same lunatic. (source)

So what Simon did was write a sit-com, in which he played a fictionalised version of himself, and in it he put a character called Ben Theodore, a pretentious theatre actor and also, basically, Ben Whishaw. (Like, if you know Ben Whishaw, you cannot not see it. That's him talking.)

But hang on, you might say, I thought this was going to be about Colin? Why are you going on about Ben Whishaw?

Well, Simon, in case you don't remember (and at this point I hope you don't) is also the writer and director of the film Benjamin (BENjamin), starring Colin Morgan as the lead and title character.

A Colin Morgan who, I might say, has something of a young Ben Whishaw about him. And he doesn't play a pretentious actor this time — in fact he plays a version of Simon Amstell himself — but the fact remains that he's exactly Simon Amstell's type, kind of looks like the man Simon was admittedly obsessed with, and even bears his name. And Simon cast him in his film to play himself, which is weird but also funny and very on brand for him, because he's self-obsessed like that.

So, to come back to my joke — I just thought the idea of Simon Amstell developing an obsessive crush on Colin Morgan and going to see The Tempest specifically to see him and missing him was hilarious.

But he did get to have him in his own film, so.

(I can't censure Simon too much for his obsession with Ben because... well, same, and also it resulted in Simon giving us Colin Morgan looking Peak Gay and serving cunt in Benjamin — in his own accent! — and I'll be forever grateful for it).

here's another post about it

#I'm doing that thing where you dissect a joke like a frog #and it's not funny anymore #but you deserve to know about simon amstell and his obsession with timid thin actors #you'll never be as obsessed with an actor as simon was obsessed with ben #the fact that ben and colin are friends is sending me SJKDFJSLKJ #i didn't even know!! #i still think it'd be funny if colin did a ben whishaw and just went “oh i have a husband actually” some day #it wouldn't even surprise me #do you think simon saw those b&w pictures of those two in pj harvey's studio and started hyperventilating #like i know HE KNOWS about it #simon amstell #colin morgan #ben whishaw #benjamin 2018 #*not merlin

[noel-fielding-web-page]

This channel is NMTB dedicated :)

#Noel Fielding #Phill Jupitus #Rhod Gilbert #Sean Hughes #Mark Lamarr #Simon Amstell #Greg Davies #Jamali Maddix #Daisy May Cooper #Bill Bailey #Never Mind The Buzzcocks #NMTB

[panelshowsource]

#happy easter lmao #never mind the buzzcocks #simon amstell #stine bramsen #panel show #gifs #mine #mine:nmtb #nmtb 22.07

[maggiecheungs]

Benjamin (2018) dir. Simon Amstell

#Benjamin 2018 #simon amstell #colin morgan #screencaps #queue

[rihaaish]

I still think about the time Josh Groban went on the British TV show, Never Mind the Buzzcocks, and he was asked about his friend Katy Perry, and her song, "I kissed a girl and I liked it," and instead of dishing out the gossip they wanted, he instead told them he could have had a song called "I kissed my hand for ten years and I'm ashamed of it," and then the host Simon Amstell told him he should have used his hand to masturbate instead, and then asked Josh if he got his 'hand' to talk to him and if so, what it said, and Josh pretended his own hand was talking to him in a French accent and saying, "oh, Josh, you've raised yourself up tonight" and it was all on TV, and I haven't even reached the part where he implored the sons and daughters of England to buy their mothers a puppy or a card but not his record for Christmas

#josh groban #katy perry #never mind the buzzcocks #british tv #what are you people on #simon amstell

[sunlightbash]

Bash on a Queer Was Always Here reel

#sebastian croft #queer was always here #choose Love #samuel small #asha banks #bel priestley #fionn o'shea #emilia jones #simon amstell

[sebastiancroftupdates]

Bash in a chooselove x queerwasalwayshere video (19 December)

📸 chooselove

#sebastian croft #queer was always here #choose love #alice oseman #simon amstell #fionn o'shea #bel priestley #samuel small #emilia jones

[sparklygraves]

#colin morgan #simon amstell #benjamin movie #benjamin 2019

[oldinterneticons]

You have out-gayed me Barrowman

#never mind the buzzcocks #simon amstell #john barrowman #tv