#shoutout to all the mums. i know at least one of you mentioned kids in tags before so hope you had a good day! or will have.... timezones..

[faunandfloraas]

Happy mother's day...

#shoutout to all the mums. i know at least one of you mentioned kids in tags before so hope you had a good day! or will have.... timezones.. #anyway did aunty lee know need to be included? no. but also yes. to me she did #stray kids #skz #bystay #createskz #lee know #lee minho #hwang hyunjin #yang jeongin #han jisung #linosource #sQz

[7wanderingpaws]

Mess We Made - second (m)

Pairing: Baekhyun x reader

Genre: arranged marriage au (not bbh), doctor AU, university AU (this chapter only), fluff, ANGST

Words: 12K

WARNINGS: language, unprotected sex, terrible family relations, stalking

Quick A/N: Goodness. This is long. I need to sleep! ENJOY! And thank you for patiently waiting ❤

tags: @byunfirstlady @blackon @puppyeoliepop @in3vitably3v3 @mangobaek @bobohumyonlyboo @wooya1224 @exortedgoods @gureuma ( if you want to be tagged/untagged please reply to this post)

>> A very special shoutout to @byunfirstlady because she rocks and deserves all the best! ><

parts: first -- second -- third -- fourth (last)

Mess We Made, part 2

Gentle puffs of hot air were hitting the shell of your ear as he was whispering something to you. The tip of his nose was poking you in the side of your cheek and you giggled, squirming away from him but his hand under your shirt and on your hip were preventing you from doing so.

“Where are you off to,” he whispered teasingly again, smiling widely as he bit your earlobe gently while his arm tightened around you. He wasn’t letting you squirm away that easily. “It’s too early.”

“You literally didn’t let us sleep the whole night,” you whispered back, still shimmying under his wandering hand. “It’s basically time to get up and my eyes are stinging from having no rest,” you pouted, blinking them a few times to prove a point. You were lying on your back while Baekhyun was propped on one elbow, hovering over you. Baekhyun’s shirt was the only piece of clothing on you. While he was completely naked, it seemed to be his second nature by now. After so much time together, his personality and preferences were more than familiar to you.

“Because I want to enjoy you as much as I can. And because I don’t want you to go,” he whined quietly and you giggled again, turning on your side to face him, hiding in his chest. “I really don’t want you to go, love. What do I do?”

You kissed his chest and looked up at him with a small smile. “I won’t go then.”

Baekhyun returned the smile but there was something in his eyes- that something giving you slight uneasiness. He was hesitating. Usually, he would immediately agree and it wasn’t like he had to beg you to stay; if anything, you had to beg him to kick you out because there was no way you would willingly leave his place and his warmth by your own choice.

“But I will have to go,” you added, verbalizing the sentence he secretly wished to hear but wouldn’t voice it. “Since my parents are waiting for me.” You didn’t give two damns about your parents. You really, really didn’t. But Baekhyun did. So you should, too. 

Baekhyun caressed your hip bone, his hand sliding over your tummy where he tickled you, causing you to squirm once again under his touch. “I will meet you later, if you want,” he said, smiling when he saw your lips widely stretched in a silent laugh. “We can go to the coffee shop and be a little productive.”

You groaned, hiding your face in his chest again. Baekhyun let his hand slide over your back, enjoying the warmth your skin was emitting. “I don’t want to study. I want to cuddle you and kiss you and just feel you.”

Baekhyun’s chuckle was quiet but so handsome. He kissed your neck lovingly, puckering his lips three, four times. His lips were so smooth and soft; you wished you could stop the time now and live in the moment forever. “You felt me the whole night, didn’t you?” he rasped.

“Besides,” you added and leaned back a bit to look at his affectionate gaze. “We have some free time now before university starts.” His messy hair was falling over his eyes and you hummed, sliding your fingers through the strands, brushing them back and revealing his forehead. “Let’s make the most out of that. Just you and me.”

The air in the room felt warm. Whether it was from the activities you did the whole night or because you simply couldn’t not blush under his hooded eyes, you wouldn’t know. But when he leaned in to kiss you, unable to hold back any longer, you knew it was simply Baekhyun’s presence that was keeping you hot inside. With his hand on your naked skin, with his tongue teasing your lips or just a simple smile was what kept you burning hot, passion swallowing you and blinding you at the same time. If you were to keep walking, it was because of him. Thanks to him.

//

There were no cars parked in front of your house as you typed in the code for the tall wooden gate. Usually, there was some guest present but it was unusually peaceful. It almost made you excited because you naively believed your parents wouldn’t be home. Them not being home equaled time to yourself and more time to think through how you would approach the upcoming (dreader) discussion.

Stupid marriage, you thought unhappily as you entered the house. Making a beeline towards the kitchen, you were surprised yet again to find it empty. Wasn't it almost lunch time? Where were the maids? And the cooks?

It was all too strange which made you walk around, what was an obviously empty, house in order to find someone. Sure, your house was huge, and getting easily lost in it was a common issue for guests who were not hosted well, but this was beyond everything you expected.

Making the final decision to check your father’s office, you stopped in front of the sturdy wooden door. No sounds were coming from there, but the wood was too thick anyways. Clearing your throat gently, you opened the door and walked in the spacious room. It was also vacant, his chair turned to the side as if someone stood up from it in a hasty manner. Some documents were scattered around his otherwise well-organized table, so there wasn't anything out of ordinary until you felt a presence behind you, and you turned. You let out a shocked gasp when you saw your mother’s strict, emotionless face while standing straight with her arms crossed on her chest. She was, as per usual, well-dressed, her make-up one shade too light for her darker skin making her seem almost lifeless. You shuddered, but before you could react, she snapped.

“Do you like what you see? Empty house, no maids to run around you nor your family to welcome you?”

This time, you were really startled by her words. “What?”

“This is what will happen if you continue disobeying us, dear daughter. There won't be anyone to tend to your needs, no one to cook for you, to clean for you, not even me and your father will be there if you continue meeting that boy.”

You snorted, disbelief written all of your face as you sent daggers with your eyes. She dared to attack and mention Baekhyun again? “What is wrong with you-”

“Where were you last night until now?”

Scrambling to compose your still shocked state, you muttered: “You know where I was.”

She let out a humorless laugh and you noticed her jaw clenching. “What do you think you are doing? What were you even doing?” She reached out to the collar of your dress and yanked it sideways, revealing your collarbones along with your shoulder. Even though you didn't see exactly what she was looking at, you knew very well what she found there. You felt your heart jump in fear.

“Fooling around with him in bed?” she grumbled and snapped her cold eyes at you. “Letting him mark you? You little bitch.” The back of her hand landed with your cheek, the sting bringing tears to your eyes as your head snapped to the side, your hair covering half of your face from the strong blow. “How stupid must you be to be this irresponsible?!”

You held the abused cheek, biting your lip hard to prevent you from letting out a sob. You turned at her. “How dare you! I told you I will not comply and let that other man touch me-”

Her hand landed again on your cheek; the other one. “Wrong answer.”

You stepped away from her before she could hit you again, now letting the tears fall from your eyes. “You're crazy, mother,” you whispered, “you and father are both crazy.”

“That other man is your future husband,” she seethed, making a menacing step closer to you which prompted you to step back. “And he won't accept you cheating behind his back with some kid-”

“Stop talking about him like he is a no one!” you screeched loudly, losing your calm, surprising your mother and yourself in the process. Seeing your mother was finally silenced, you added: “He is the one I love, mum! I already said I will marry the guy, but you cannot take Baekhyun away from me! He is the only good thing I have in my life,” you cried. Your tears were scorching hot on your already reddened cheeks, just like Baekhyun's warmth that you were supposed to leave behind. 

“The only good thing?” she repeated, disgusted. “After everything we have provided for you - you always had food and luxury! The least you can do to repay us is to do as we say!” she shouted, swishing her hands in the air. “I didn't even tell you off when you kept bringing bad grades home. I didn't bother. After all, you went to a useless, regular high school with no reputation. But right now, when I am telling you to do as I say, you decide to go against me?! I won't tolerate it! You will break up with him, and you will marry Mr Kwon. I made arrangements already, and he won’t impregnate you until you are done with university.”

Your gasp was loud, overwhelming the both of you, but your mother was faster to brush it off and continue with her nonsense. Her words were like a cut of a dagger; precise, because she knew your weak points, and very painful, because her goal was to wound you and eventually destroy you, leaving you in pain that would make you surrender to her orders.

“Impregnate?” you finally let out, voice trembling. “What the actual hell! I TOLD YOU. I am not letting him touch me.”

“Well,” she pressed an ugly, wrinkly smile, “you will have to. We need an heir. A boy.”

Sick. You were sick to your stomach at the idea of Mr Kwon smiling at you, let alone touch you at your most private parts and let him take you. The idea was maddening, and you desperately wanted to pull at your hair, hoping it would be a good enough sign for your mother to understand you didn't want to be part of an arranged marriage.

“Mum,” you whimpered finally, letting more tears fall as you connected your hands in front of your chest, pleading. “Mum, please. Don't do this. I will… I will do anything else you want me to, but please… You can't simply let him sleep with me.”

She scoffed, rolling her eyes. “You're acting as if you haven't been bedded already,” she said through gritted teeth. She was so disgusted by you, you couldn't help but take the hurt. Family was supposed to support you, be warm and kind and helpful, but her and your father were anything but. However, it never ceased to hurt you; the way she looked impersonal towards you, and right now, disgusted. As if you were some trash; someone unworthy of love and understanding. 

“Please,” you whispered, closing your eyes for a moment.

“Wash up,” she grumbled resolutely before her eyes fell on the still exposed shoulder, “and hide that stupid mark with some make-up. Mr Kwon will be over for dinner-”

“NO!” you screeched, stomping your foot. “I WILL NOT MEET HIM!”

“Unless you want me to beat you up until your pretty-for-nothing face is marked just like he marked your neck, then I advise you to go. Wash. Up.” She turned around and walked away with resolute steps.

There was a crack within you; it literally felt like a knife slashing through your weak organ that was your heart.

“You’re cruel, mother!” you shouted after her, despite her not paying you any more attention, and you ran out of the office and up the wide staircase that would lead you to the only place you could hide in. Your room.

Shaky hands grabbed at the hair tie, yanking it out of your hair and throwing it across the spacious room. It was followed by your dress, also thrown to the other side while you stomped to the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind you. Its surface was cold on the skin of your naked back as you slid down, sobbing.

How many times have you been in this position already? How many times have you cried like this, despair pooling in the pit of your stomach, hoping, praying that things would somehow magically turn over and you’d feel some sort of relief? That relief never came and your misery would only worsen. Maybe it was exactly because of your high hopes, you thought as your sobbing slowly ceased, leaving you with only quiet whimpers and a throbbing headache. Maybe it was because, at the end of the day, you’d have Baekhyun who would bring out all the best and kindest and the most positive parts out of your suffering soul.

The thought of him made you only weep again, but you became determined as well. For him, you’d do anything. Anything.

He said to obey.

And you would.

//

Just before the main guest would arrive, your mother pushed a familiar pink gift bag into your hand. “You didn’t even open this ever since you decided to grace us with your presence,” she pressed through her gritted teeth, holding back from raising her voice. As much as she wished to smack you, she also didn’t want to cause a ruckus just before Mr Kwon would arrive. She needed you to look your best, which you did. “Open it and make sure to mention the gift,” she ordered and took a sharp look-over at your dressed up figure.

As promised, you hid all the hickeys Baekhyun left on you blinded by his passion and desire last night. The polite black dress was hugging your curves just in the gentlest ways, not too much but still leaving a good image of what you were hiding underneath. The colour of your stockings was of your skin, but with a glistening touch, making your legs look more desirable. Hair politely combed, wavy at the ends and tucked behind your ears. Perfect.

“Finally you know how to dress up properly to your age,” mumbled your mother. When you didn’t respond and averted your gaze to the ground, she hesitated before heaving out a sigh. “He’ll be here soon,” she turned around to leave your room. “Prepare.”

You were surprised when your mother shut the door quietly behind herself, giving you the necessary time to actually get ready and collect your thoughts.

The bag, just as yesterday, felt heavy in your fingers and you decided to finally take out the small, cream-coloured box, most probably promising a pricey gift. Sitting down at the edge of your bed, you quickly opened it to find a pretty set of earrings and a necklace. Earrings consisted of two pearls while the necklace was a simple silver necklace with a single pearl in the middle.

Noticing their unusual shape, you could tell right away that they were real pearls. Each piece of irregular shape made the actual stone throw all kinds of colors of the rainbow. It was beautiful, it really was, but not something you’d expect from someone you had never met. It strengthened the idea that what was about to go down in the future was, in fact, real. He was pursuing you.

Sighing tiredly, you felt your eyes burning up once again but was abruptly stopped when your phone vibrated on the vanity where you left it. Quickly moving to take it, you instantly smiled when you saw Baekhyun’s picture and his caller ID on display.

“Baby,” you sighed breathily, eager to hear his voice.

First you heard his handsome chuckle before he spoke: “My princess. Just wanted to check on you. I told you to text me once you’re home,” he scolded gently.

You bit your lip before quickly releasing it, remembering you had lipstick on. “Sorry I got… busy,” you murmured eventually. Not sure whether to tell him about the dinner, you decided to keep quiet. If he heard your uncertainty, he’d know something was up right away.

He hummed. “There was no trouble, right?” His voice was careful, hesitant. He always trusted you but he also knew you would lie if he asked.

You lied anyway. “Of course. You know I’m not that easily breakable, right? There is no need to worry, Baekhyun.”

He sighed. “I always worry about you.” And about your family hurting you. He kept that to himself though. “But as long as I hear your voice and know your fine, it’s more than enough.”

You closed your eyes, desperately wishing you could be with him, in his bed, while he studied and you’d observe him. Anything would be better than the situation you were in now. “I miss you.”

“I miss you, too,” he was fast to reply. “Always. I missed you even before you left this morning.”

You giggled, covering your mouth even though no one saw you. “I’ll gladly sneak out tonight.”

“No. Stay home. Don’t want you getting into trouble-“

“You know I’d do it even with you disapproving.”

“Oh, I know you would, sweetheart. I know.”

“I’d do anything for you, Baekhyun,” you whispered, “in a heartbeat.”

He was silent for a moment. You weren’t sure why he wasn’t replying, but then again, your words bore quite a powerful meaning. “And I’d do anything to protect you and keep you happy.”

Burning tears came to life when you heard his low voice, sending shocks down your body. “Then never leave me.”

Silence again.

“Baekhyun,” you muttered, “promise me you won’t leave me.”

Why wasn’t he replying as fast as he did just a few moments ago? Were you asking for too much? Were you crossing boundaries? That made you scoff. You and him had such a strong and intimate relationship, there was no space for any boundaries. Your relationship seemed to be limitless.

“I won’t leave you, love,” was his answer finally. “I love you too fucking much for me to leave you.”

“Then that’s enough,” you sighed shakily, knowing it was time for you to hang up and face the dreaded. “As long as I know you love me and won’t leave me, all will be well.”

//

The silence in the dining room was one of the worst things your life had put you through. The chewing sounds, clinking of the cutlery along with slurping were the only noises that you heard physically, while your mind was about to explode with your thoughts.

Mr Kwon was sitting directly opposite you, to your misfortune, while your parents were seated in their usual spots, your father being at the head of the table.  It was almost the absolute end of you when the servers put octopuses on the table as the main dish. Shooting them a horrified glare, they could only widen their eyes at you, silently asking for your forgiveness when they knew octopuses made you puke your guts out. Just the sight triggered your gag reflex and you ended up swallowing the rice through the wrong pipe, causing you to start a spree of aggressive coughing. Definitely not lady-like.

“Oh my, look at you,” chided your mother who was next to you, tapping your back with good enough power. “You eat too fast, darling,” she said knowingly and when you turned to glare at her, she only chuckled, taking in your red face.

“Maybe have octopuses,” suggested Mr Kwon with a chuckle as he reached for one right away. “They certainly won't make you suffocate.”

Your presence alone is suffocating enough, you thought bitterly but made sure to break a smile to show respect even though it was killing you. Quickly reaching for a jar with water, you wanted to pour yourself some very much needed liquid when you saw the man's hand in your line of vision, and he poured you water.

“Eat carefully, miss,” he murmured, giving you the slightest of honest smiles.

You bowed your head in gratitude before gulping down. It gave you the relief you desperately seeked, but the sight of the octopuses was creating an uncomfortable bulge in your stomach.

“So, now that we enjoyed the main dishes, we shall talk about some business, what do you say, Mr Kwon?” suggested your father in a friendly manner, connecting his fingers as he rested his elbows on the table.

Mr Kwon nodded. “Oh, yes, we shall do that. The meal was terrific, by the way.”

“Thank you, I will make sure to tell the kitchen staff,” smiled brightly your mother, hiding her grin behind her hand. You tried not to shudder at the tense, over-polite atmosphere, but on the other hand you were dying to find out more about your fate. With Baekhyun on your mind, you braced yourself, ready to fight for whatever was to come.

Your father gave you a brief glance before facing the expectant Mr Kwon. “Well, I suppose we should set a wedding date. Given we discussed most of the business part, we should now focus on you and our daughter.”

“Yes, yes. I would like to suggest marriage once she enters university,” proposed Mr Kwon importantly and you felt blood leaving your face immediately. “As you know, I would also like to get to know her better and I believe that if we will start our marriage early on, we both can earn ourselves some valuable time before starting a family. I also do not want her to steer away from me too much.”

No. No, no, no. “Actually, may I  say-”

“No, you may not,” muttered your mother, squeezing your thigh under the table. She quickly looked at Mr Kwon who had a questioning look. “Would you like the ceremony when her first semester starts? You see, she is a good student, so I'd like her not to steer away from her studies too much.”

Surprised, you stole a glance at your mother, but she was facing your future husband. Your heartbeat was frantic in your chest and you swore you would pass out at the idea of your mother trying to protect you in some twisted manner, despite her fighting you like a wild bull.

“What do you suggest, then?” asked Mr Kwon, his attention fully on your mother.

She took a deep breath and her hand left your thigh, leaving behind a warm, but uncomfortable feeling on your skin. “Marriage after graduation.”

The man in question raised his eyebrows slowly, thinking over the suggested idea. Meticulously, he scrutinized your mother before his eyes fell on your wavering gaze. It was almost scorching, and you couldn't help but look down at your lap where your hands were politely connected. Noticing the sickeningly white skin of your knuckles, you didn't realize you were squeezing them together in order to fight the nerves.

“Alright,” he rasped eventually, causing you to raise your head in hope. “Under some conditions, though.”

Your heart died a little bit at that, but it didn't matter. You had four years ahead. Four years of freedom. With Baekhyun. “I am to do what my initial plan was,” he started, “and that is to get to know my future wife well. I do respect her needs, however I would like to visit her on various occasions and take her out, too. She shouldn't be a newbie to the house where I live in, so I demand to have at least one night with her-”

“Oh, Mr Kwon,” chimed in your mother nonchalantly, while your father shot her a warning look, “let me remind you that we would like our daughter to finish her bachelor degree on time. Which means we wouldn't want unwelcome pregnancies or such.”

Your throat went dry and you almost whimpered at the horrific idea.

“Are you suggesting no physical contact until after marriage?”

“Excuse me,” you said in a tiny tone, withering under the adults' strict gazes, “but this is my life and my body we talk about here.” You bravely looked at Mr Kwon's face. “As much as I understand and respect your request, I do not wish to do anything more until we know each other well enough,” you hesitated, before adding, “until I feel ready. You know yourself that I am still young and have a desire to live a little bit before I will settle down with you.”

“By living a little bit I hope you do not mean finding other boyfriends,” he cut in, the slightest of scoffs tinting his voice. “From this moment on, you are to tend to me only.”

“Actually-”

“Actually,” this time your mother cut in, her hand back on your thigh, wordlessly silencing you, “we understand your request.” She paused and you held your breath. “We agree, of course. She shouldn't be seeing anyone else besides you.”

“And has she been seeing anyone else before?” quipped Mr Kwon, leaning back in his chair, his stance somehow lazy. “Does she have experience? Has she been bedded before?”

You winced and your head snapped to your father, your eyes pleading with him to do something.

“I'd rather not…” your father trailed off, obvious discomfort on his face, “talk about this. We promised you our daughter and we are willing to make the wedding ceremony once she graduates in four years. Until then, you are to pursue her,” he decided, authority now dripping from his voice. “Feel free to contact her, but our conditions are as I stated just now. Marriage after graduation. Otherwise, we comply with your requests to be with her. She won't be seeing anyone else. Do not worry, Mr Kwon.”

Mr Kwon was watching you and that scared you. Was the fact that you were in a relationship written all over your face? You hoped not, even though you desperately wanted to tell him that yes, indeed, you had a boyfriend. You already had someone who occupied every possible space in your heart and in your mind.

“Alright,” said the guest, “may I suggest a little talk face to face here with our young miss?”

“But of course!” agreed your mother without hesitation and in no time, her and your father were gone, both of them shooting you warning glares. If only they could support you for once. Was that too much to ask for? Though you had to be honest. You were satisfied that you still had something you could hold for yourself.

“Miss,” Mr Kwon snapped you out of your thoughts. He stood up and walked over to you, motioning for you to stand up as well. You hastily did, quickly adjusting your skirt, which didn't go unnoticed by his sharp eyes. Feeling your cheeks reddening, you didn't look up.

He was quiet for a little while longer before softly muttering: “My gift looks very pretty on you. I have to say, I feel baffled that you decided to wear the pearls for me.”

Your breath hitched in your throat, but you still refused to look up at him. It was anything but for him.

“I assume you must be startled by the events, but I assure you I won't harm you. In the adult world, it is only normal to follow natural instincts though,” he murmured again as he made a step closer. “And you are definitely a breath-takingly beautiful young woman.” Suppressing the shivers, you nodded to show you were listening. He chuckled lowly. “No need to be shy around me. I prefer my women brave and confident. Like they know what they want.”

You raised your head now, reciprocating the eye contact. “In that case - I am still eighteen, Mr Kwon. I would appreciate it if you respect that.”

“I didn't even do anything,” he laughed again, shaking his head, taking your words as a joke. “But I like it. Okay. You got me. I will ask your parents for your telephone number and from now on,” he paused and leaned in a little closer, his strong cologne hitting your nose, “we shall deal with everything privately. Just the two of us.” He leaned back, checking your face for some reaction. You were shaken. “Alright?”

You nodded, wanting it to be quickly over. “Alright.”

“I'll make sure no one else will roam around you, miss. From today on, you are mine.”

//

It was yet another of the many times that you cried in your bed. Guilty feelings eating you away, the creeping sense of disgust at everything that you had to listen to and become part of sooner than later.

You were trying to think your situation over - how you could trick Mr Kwon to make him believe you weren't seeing anyone. In a way, you were thankful your mother and father never mentioned you already having a boyfriend as much as you wanted to shout it to the whole world. It was better to keep Baekhyun a secret which was basically one step to being in a relationship you didn't want to be. Baekhyun already became a forbidden fruit and you wondered what would happen if Mr Kwon found out.

//

You never told Baekhyun what was the deal between your parents and Mr Kwon. As much as he knew you were secretive and he tried to be the same Baekhyun as before, you couldn’t help the lurking feeling of your relationship's dynamics suddenly changing.

It shifted.

Unfortunately, in the wrong direction.

It’s been almost four years now that you’ve been attending university, meaning the sacred time to part was coming up, and you saw your boyfriend less and less. Even if the weather was nice and all you’ve asked was five minutes of his precious time,  Baekhyun slowly but surely refused to give it to you. He would make sure to make it up later but the slightest hint of distance was palpable in his eyes and his touches.

In the beginning, you still enjoyed each other as much as you used to. He would bring you along to parties and show everyone you were together. You would bring him along to your get-togethers and make sure all the ladies knew he was yours. You slept at his place whenever you could and you were still just as crazy about each other as you used to be. 

It was only once Mr Kwon started to take you out, asking for dinner dates and sometimes even making unannounced visits, was when your relationship started to break. You hated that word dearly; to break. You hated to use that word in the same sentence with Baekhyun's name. But you got the hunch that Baekhyun was suspicious. He knew something was up, he was not dumb. Suddenly, it was you rejecting his advances, it was you busy and with little time to spare. So you made sure he wouldn't get the hint and masked everything. Mr Kwon was not allowed to give you unannounced visits and you had to meet him somewhere far away from campus (it was convenient since he always treated you to expensive, tasteless food in Gangnam).

Over those few years, you and Baekhyun developed a routine; at the beginning of each semester, both of you exchanged your timetables. But in your final year, despite you knowing about Baekhyun's whereabouts, he would either stay later in school or hang out with his classmates. Thankfully, he took you many times with him - to lunches and dinners and get-togethers. Many of his friends there had girlfriends and you were never surprised that Baekhyun managed to win over almost everyone in his year. Because even if you were there as his girlfriend, his hand on your thigh to prove it, there were still so many girls, younger and older, swallowing him up with dark, hungry eyes.

Just where did the good old days go? In the good old days, you would be inseparable. There was no one who could stay between you two, even if it was your evil parents. He would kiss you, you would hug him, he would caress you and you would lay your head on his shoulder. You’d sneak out to see him, and he would create a new, safe home for you even if it meant just for a night. You risked so much to be with him; even now when you were under a scrutinizing watch of Mr Kwon, you’d always go and try to see Baekhyun.

So why was Baekhyun acting like this? With every passing day, he would drift away from you and you felt like you were trying to grasp onto him desperately, preventing him from leaving your side. Baekhyun was always by your side. He belonged there.

You were in your final year now, the beginning of a brand new, and last, semester when you decided to sign up for a fashion design class. You weren’t sure why you did it; the constant doodling as a way to get rid of your negative emotions, you grew to love grabbing a pencil and just let the sharp tip of it slide on the crisp surface of the paper. Fashion was something you always had to excel at given your reputation so when you found yourself sketching some pretty lingerie, you decided it wouldn’t be a bad move to attend a class that you actually liked, unlike the rest.

“But why does it have to be in the evening?” whined Baekhyun who was walking you to the seminar room. His hair was messy and it wasn’t because of your fingers. Apparently he had been in the library since 6am.

You sighed, and hugged your books closer to your chest, the chilly autumn evening catching you unprepared. You loved the deep red dress you wore today, but not only you were cold, but the heels were killing your feet too. “You’re always busy, Baekhyun. Why is it suddenly so difficult for you to accept that I will be busy one evening out of seven?”

He went silent and you knew you hit a sensitive spot. “You’re right.”

That made you feel… disappointed. He wouldn’t even try to fight anymore.

“Let’s talk after your class,” he suggested when you stopped in front of the classroom. There was some movement inside, most probably the professor preparing the materials for the seminar.

Baekhyun’s words left you feeling uneasy. “About what?”

He looked at you but his gaze was unreadable. He didn’t smile but didn’t frown either, until you saw the slightest clench of his jaw before he relaxed it. “About us.”

You instantly had tears in your eyes but you pressed your lips together, praying you wouldn’t start wailing now. Despite that, you shivered. “Maybe another time,” you tried.

“Sweetheart,” he sighed, running his hand through his hair. “I really need to talk to you.”

“So when you want to talk to me I need to have time but when I was chasing you the past years, you couldn’t even give me five goddamn minutes of your precious time!”

He was taken aback at the raise of your voice but didn’t comment on it, nor did he act upon it. “I think you know that we have too many unresolved issues.”

“I don’t want to solve them,” you replied stubbornly.

He frowned. “What? What’s the matter with you?” he asked, exasperated. “You’ve been acting so strange,” he added, saying your name with so much seriousness it made you shiver again. “All I want is to talk.”

“But you will break up with me,” you said, voice low now and your chin trembling. “I know it. And I don’t want to.”

“No,” he was fast to whisper, shaking his head as he stepped closer to you, “I don’t want to break up with you, angel,” he whispered into your ear now, his hands gently cradling your head as he hugged you to him.

You whimpered, dropping your books so you could squeeze his slim waist and hide your face in his chest. His sweater had a pleasant scent of his detergent and it made you feel instantly at home. “Then what is it,” you gritted your teeth to prevent yourself from sobbing.

He sighed, knowing how he must have shattered you over the time. He grew distant, he was aware of that. But Baekhyun was also a perfectionist. He had to excel in classes, he had to make sure he knew what he was doing in order to become a qualified doctor as he always dreamed about. However, him being meticulous with his studies made him lose someone who was very special to him - you. “I miss you,” he whispered. “I just want to make sure we are in the clear. I want to spend more time with you. But I want to talk.”

“I’ve been missing you for so long,” you mumbled, ignoring the few students who were passing by and entering your classroom. He had a sad look on his face and you weren’t sure you wanted to know why. “I’ll come to your place. Will the other guys be out?”

He grasped your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. “I don’t know. I don’t care. Just head straight to my place, alright?” he said, attempting to smile.

Baekhyun was sharing an apartment with his friends just across the campus so it was convenient for him and for you. Even though they could be annoying sometimes, they knew not to play around you too much, given how ignorant you were towards anyone that wasn’t a Byun Baekhyun.

You nodded and Baekhyun hummed in acknowledgment, leaning in to kiss your forehead. You sighed, satisfied. 

“Enjoy your class,” he murmured, his lips still brushing your skin. “I'll be waiting for you.”

Before he could let go of your hand and walk away, you pulled him towards you, ignoring his questioning gaze and stood on your tiptoes, pressing your lips together. You felt him heave out a soft breath before he cradled your face and angled you up to have better access as he teased you with his tongue.

Someone cleared their throat out of nowhere and you gasped, disattaching from Baekhyun's lips a smooch that made you blush. He let go of you when he zoomed in on someone and you turned to find a young professor standing in the doorway to the seminar room. “Are you joining my class?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Quickly bowing to him, you nodded, apologizing as you made your way to the classroom. Before the doors could completely close, you looked at Baekhyun who gave you a supportive smile.

//

You could smell cigarettes in the corridor as you stood in front of Baekhyun's apartment door. It wasn't the nicest building; some weird people lurking here and there, but you knew he worked hard to earn the place so you never told him how you actually felt about the place.

You typed in the code, letting yourself enter and quickly took off your heels, chasing the very much needed relief in your aching feet.

“You came.” Baekhyun appeared from his room, a big grey hoodie and black pants looking extra comfortable and cuddly on him.

He walked over to you and this time he initiated the small kiss. “How was class?” he asked, taking your bag from your hand as he moved to the kitchen. He was about to lift it up when your sketchbook fell out, the pages messily opening and splattering on the floor.

“It went very well,” you answered, watching him slowly pick up the sketch book, his eyes drinking in what he was seemingly missing out on the past year. Your sketches.

“Did you…” he trailed off, swallowing before looking up at you, “did you draw this? Did you come up with this?”

“Well, I had to present something to the teacher so that I wouldn't look too lost in his fashion class,” you smiled cheekily, sensing the unease Baekhyun was suddenly full of. He let his eyes follow you as you stepped towards him, taking the sketchbook from his frozen hand. “This is my personal favourite,” you said in a low voice, turning the pages until there were no more left. The last page was the only sketch you didn't show to your professor. Baekhyun was silent, but his eyes were sharp. They flickered from your face to the lingerie sketches that you were showing him.

Slowly, he took a deep breath, eyes scanning the figure that was resembling yours unlike the regular ones that you sketched before, for anyone's eyes. This one was meant for Baekhyun's eyes only and he was assured of it when he saw the small “unlock, bbh” under the sketch.

You knew Baekhyun loved wearing black colours despite his favourite one being red. So you decided to combine the dark with a deep, sultry red that oozed sexiness and confidence. Lace was so thinly sketched, it almost seemed like your skin was tattered with it. You never liked wearing thongs, so you made sure the underwear would be comfortable for you, instead filling the space with lace and silk.

It was a luxurious piece that you were confident you could actually wear one day if you would be determined enough to bring it to life.

“You see,” you started when silence was too much to bear, the growing tension made you feel all sorts of strong emotions, “I made it like a game for you, Baekhyun.” You took his index finger and pointed it at the paper where your left shoulder bra strap was drawn. “You won't unlock me until you find out one crucial point of this set. If you do, you'll unlock the entire outfit,” you told him, your voice low. “And what do I mean by unlock?” you asked, letting go of his finger and he looked at you from his side. “You'll get to see me in my whole glory. Just a simple click can give you access to everything that I am.”

Baekhyun was thinking about your words even though it had been a while since he spoke. Eventually, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to control something you weren't aware of. “Is this what you did in your class?”

You snorted a laugh. “No, Baekhyun. This is just for you. My present to you,” you smiled at the idea. “One day.”

“How can you be so fucking sexy inside and out?” he grumbled and with one arm swiftly brought you to his chest, his hand tightly gripping your waist. His eyes flickered all over your features, taking in the make-up and the red lipstick that you knew he adored so much. How could he let himself ignore you when you were a full meal, a huge prey for any man with bad and good intentions? How could he not appreciate you every single day and tell you that he loved you and wanted to make love to you every single time he saw you?

You smiled up at him and he lost it. Despite the trouble and negative tension he created, you still dared to smile at him?

He claimed your lips, catching you by surprise but you moaned instantly when you felt his hands drag downwards over your hips and bum until reaching the backside of your thighs. Both of you were so familiar with each other's actions, that Baekhyun didn't have to tell you to jump anymore. You did so without his order and when he had you in his arms, you felt him right at your center instantly. You gasped, reacting to his body as you tried to shimmy your middle over him and he grunted into the kiss.

“Jesus, what are you doing to me, woman,” he breathed, his lips glistening with your mixed saliva before cradling your cheek with one hand, bringing you in for another dirty kiss.

You whined, growing wet right away. Squeezing his waist with your legs, he clumsily put you on the counter, accidentally knocking over some cups, but neither of you cared. Baekhyun was kissing your jaw, slowly making his way to your ear into which he whispered: “I need to fuck you right now.” He bit your earlobe and you moaned, wanting to close your legs but his hands were already pushing them apart. Your dress hiked up to your hips, revealing your underwear and you fumbled with his pants, your hands already inside to bring him out. Upon touching him, you gasped, looking at your boyfriend. He was hard.

“It's what you do to me all the damn time,” he whispered, panting when he felt your light touch. “I told you years ago, didn't I?” he smirked and pushed your hand away, instead his hands grabbing you under your knees and yanking you to the edge so he could have better access. You whimpered, clenching around nothing when he pushed the crotch of your panties aside and felt his middle finger teasing you by letting it dip but not quite enter. “So wet,” he breathed, looking at your blushed face. “Let’s dive, shall we?” he murmured, grabbing himself. You circled your arms around his neck, face buried in his neck as you felt him poke you. Lubricating himself he made sure to spread your arousal all over your womanhood. You whimpered and he finally pushed in. Both of you moaned in unison, the stretch so pleasurable it made you almost see stars.

“Mmhhmm, you feel so good,” you moaned, closing your eyes and biting his earlobe. He was quick to reply when he set up a fast pace, chasing his release.

Both of you were panting, neither of you speaking as you were indulged in each other. Feeling the sweat prickling around your hairline, you kissed Baekhyun, who grunted, pushing extra deep and hitting your g-spot. You let go of the kiss with a smooch, moaning loudly into his mouth which he swallowed, his forehead pressed to yours. “Is it good? Am I making you feel good?” he breathed, puffs of air hitting your lips.

“Yes, yes, you do,” you exhaled harshly as he slowed down, circling his hips to make sure he was touching every corner of you. You arched your back, your head hitting the cupboards you forgot were behind you. Just like that, both of you were laughing like crazy, Baekhyun smiling widely as he kissed your exposed neck while still deep inside you.

You cursed, still giggling. Bringing your face back, you took his face into your hands and kissed him as he took himself out of you completely and then slammed back in right away.

“I’m so fucking close,” he whispered between messy kisses. “I swear I'm gonna cum right now, princess.”

You wanted to tell him to wait for you, but instead you lead him on. “Then cum.”

“Should I pull out?” The urgency of his voice as he kept thrusting into you made you momentarily dizzy. He felt so good. “No, don’t pull out,” you breathed and he groaned loudly, hiding his face in your chest as was his habit when he was releasing. Exactly then, you felt hot spurts pumping into you. You felt so full but the satisfaction was anywhere near. You chose not to act up on your frustration, instead deciding to enjoy seeing Baekhyun in a bliss.

“I don't remember when was the last time I came this hard,” he told you, stilling completely, his breath fanning your lips as he was slowly coming down from his high. After a few moments, he kissed you sweetly. “Sorry, baby. Let me-”

“No, don’t,” you said, the wetness leaking out of you and on the counter. His hand hovered above your bundle of nerves just above where he disappeared inside you. “It's fine.”

“But you didn’t cum,” he muttered, embarrassed. “Sorry… this is so ridiculous.”

“Don't be silly,” you said with a gentle tone and brushed his hair out of his sweaty forehead and leaned in to kiss it. “You're so gorgeous, Baekyhun,” you told him when he finally focused his shy gaze on you. In response, he squeezed your thighs he was holding onto the whole time. The iron grip eased up into a gentle hold. You were sure you would bruise but damn, you didn't care.

He smiled and that was your biggest present. His smile that was meant for you. “The one who is gorgeous is you. You made me cum so fast with just the idea of you wearing that lingerie… I'll make it up to you, I promise,” he whispered, kissing you again as he pulled out of you, once again causing you to moan at the friction.

Baekhyun cleaned up the mess quickly and sent you to wash up but before you could saunter off, he held your hand. “Stay over tonight,” he requested softly.

Feeling yourself smile even wider, you gratefully accepted.

//

After eating dinner, it was already too late, so both of you moved to Baekhyun's room, deciding to talk like you wanted to. 

He lent you his clothes and you relished in the feeling of getting lost in his hoodie. When he lied down, he opened his arms for you to find comfort in and you were fast to jump at him, causing him to grunt at the impact which made you giggle.

“Are you trying to say I’m heavy!” you shrieked in mock anger, hitting his chest gently, and Baekhyun laughed.

“No, never,” he hummed when you settled in, resting your head on his chest. His heartbeat sounded a little irregular.

Your mood instantly deflated. “So,” you started, drawing circles on his pectoral with your finger. “What was it you wanted to talk about?”

He sighed gently and you felt his breath on your forehead. “I don’t know how to begin.”

“From the start.”

Baekhyun clicked his tongue at your reply and you smiled though it didn’t quite reach your eyes. “You’re a teasing little thing, aren’t you, my love.”

My love.

If he called you his love it meant he wouldn’t break up with you, right?

“I just feel like …” he trailed off, taking a moment to collect his thoughts. “You’re in your final year.”

That sentence spoke volumes to you. The meaning behind it meant only one thing and it was that only thing you’d been trying to fight against and refuse to accept. Your time with Baekhyun was almost up.

“Won’t you say something?” he asked softly when there was no answer from you.

This time you were the one who sighed and gently pushed yourself out of his grasp, to sit up facing him.

He mirrored you and sat opposite you. “Baby, what is going to happen?”

“I don’t know,” you murmured, lowering your head. “I mean-“ you looked up. “I won’t leave you, that’s all I know for sure.”

Baekhyun wasn’t satisfied with your answer. After all, you had the same answer years ago. He called your name. “We cannot do this forever, you know? Both of us deserve to know where we stand. It’s weird that you’ve been promised to that man but there is no news about when you are supposed to get married?” he rumbled though his voice wasn’t accusative.

Biting your lip, you avoided his eyes again by looking down.

“You know stuff, don’t you.”

You grit your teeth.

“What aren’t you telling me, hm?” He waited for a moment and when you still refused to talk, he took a deep breath. “I can’t believe you’ve known stuff and not tell me!”

This time, he sounded angry. “No, Baek, it’s not like that! I- yes, I’m supposed to be marrying him after I graduate but-“

“There is no but. There is only a period. You are marrying him after you graduate. Period.”

Your heart broke into two. Baekhyun was frowning, hurt flashing in his eyes as his jaw pulsed with how hard he was clenching it. His lips, those lips, were set into a hard line and there was no way to make him look happy like he once used to when he was with you.

“Baekhyun,” you tried, voice thin, “I already told you I’m not letting you go.”

“You seriously think about yourself only, don’t you,” he responded coldly, disbelief painting his voice. “You really don’t care what it means for me to sneak behind some rich dude who can give you anything you point at! I have my own pride. I can’t bear to share you with someone-“

“Baekhyun, I won’t let him touch me! I won’t let him do anything! You won’t be sharing me with anyone! My heart belongs to you and you know it,” you said, tears burning up in your eyes. “I love you so much,” you whispered before your voice could break. 

Baekhyun was holding back, you could tell. His lips quivered but he didn’t make any effort to reach out for you. His eyes glistened. “Don’t marry him.”

You groaned inwardly. “You know I can’t do that.”

“So you’ve been going behind your parents the entire time, seeing me despite their protests and when I ask you not to marry him, you suddenly want to comply?”

“It’s for business,” you reminded him, “I didn’t choose this myself if that’s what you’ve been thinking.”

“I don’t care! I’ll give you everything. I’ll give you more than he can ever give you,” he said hurriedly and you let out a small gasp because Baekhyun was usually anything but desperate. He was the collected one, but now he was anything but.

“I’ll never leave you,” you promised shuffling to him, taking his face in your cold hands. “Please know that, Baekhyun. I won’t let him do anything. It’s just a status. That's all.”

His eyes were frantically flickering between yours, as if searching for something more than there was. “How can you just marry him when you barely ever saw him?”

And now was the time where you could start feeling guilty. It was on you. This was your fault and given how well Baekhyun knew you, he would read right into it. It got confirmed when he pulled away from you, your hands dropping.

“What else aren't you telling me?” he said in a low voice now completely withdrawing away from you and pushing himself up against the headboard.

“Baekhyun-”

“Just tell me already!”

You winced, quickly shutting your mouth. “We sometimes meet because he… eh, he just wants to get to know me better. That's it, he just asks me questions an-and I answer,” you replied shakily, brushing your hair behind your ear. “There is nothing, I swear. I deserve to know what kind of man I am marrying, too,” you added, looking up at your boyfriend whose gaze was set somewhere behind you.

“Has this been happening the entire time?” he asked quietly.

“Since the start of the uni.”

He scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Fucking awesome. Congratulations.”

“Baekhyun,” you said, this time strictly. “What the hell is wrong with you? I've been begging to meet you the whole past year and you always found some bullshit excuse for studying and actually you know what? Who knows what you'd been doing during those times!” you exclaimed, the idea of him being with someone else sending you into a rage.

“The fuck? As if I would cheat on you!” he shouted back, sending daggers your way. “I've been in a relationship with someone who was never supposed to be mine! Tell me, sweetcheeks, how does that sound to you? I'm saving myself for you while I know the entire time that I'll be on the loose end. I'm the pathetic one. I am the one who will lose. Not you,” he said in a menacing tone. “So before you start to throw shit at me, I would look in the mirror if I were you.”

“Byun Baekhyun!” you shouted.

He raised an eyebrow. “What. You don't like to hear the truth? Well, this is it. And I have lost my mind, finally. I've been too goddamn blinded by your hope when I knew the whole time it would be fruitless. I cannot do this anymore!”

By then you were sobbing. The last sentence sent you into fits of cries that you couldn't suppress no matter how hard you tried, and it hurt. Byun Baekhyun's words hurt like hell. Hiding your face in your hands, you felt the wetness of your tears pooling in your palms, hoping he would stop being angry with you and just take you in his arms and take his words back.

It didn't happen.

Slowly, you moved your hands away to see him stare at you, hard gaze, lips sealed tightly. “Baby,” you tried, reaching for him. More tears fell from your eyes but you didn't care anymore. He had seen you cry so many times and he was always there to comfort you. This time you were crying because of him and he wouldn't even move a finger for you. “Baby, please.”

“You said you deserve to know him better, too,” he said. “So it is that important to you - that you need to know him.”

“Of course,” you replied with a nasal voice, “what if he is a psychopath.”

He laughed bitterly. “Right. What if he is. How the fuck would you know - you are marrying him anyway! So why is it so important to you to let him get to know you? And you him?”

“It's just the way the deal went, okay?”

“No, it's not okay,” he spat. “You're going against your own word. “You told me there would be nothing happening until you graduate and you were with him behind my back.”

It was your turn to scoff now, though your face was splotchy. “Because you were waiting for me so much!”

“Don't you dare turn this against me,” he muttered in a low tone which left you shocked. This was the first time Baekhyun used that kind of tone with you. In fact, this was your first time fighting this ugly. “This is about you. About your fucking family. About them wanting to destroy us!”

“And it's obviously working!” You threw your hands up. “Just look at you now! You're doing exactly what they want you to be doing! They so desperately wish for you to hurt me so I could dump you,” you shouted, more tears rolling down your hot cheeks. “I guess they were right after all.”

“Right in what,” he snapped again, glaring at you.

You stood up, unable to keep fighting with him. He watched you wordlessly as you picked up your bag where you had your school books. “You're just using me. I guess I was just money to you as well!” You were seething as you yanked his door open and rushed straight for the door.

Sensing someone in the kitchen, you stopped abruptly for a moment, seeing Park Chanyeol staring at you in shock while he took in your state.

You shook your head, not bothering to say hi to him as you went to grab your shoes just to realize you came in heels. “Fuck,” you muttered. Well, Baekhyun's vans would have to do. Grabbing them, you tied both shoes tightly so you wouldn't fall as you rushed to grab the door when you felt a hand grab your wrist instead.

You looked back, making out Baekhyun's features through tears. “Let go,” you snapped, trying to shake him off.

“Where are you going this late?!”

“Anywhere is better than here with you! I cannot stay with you, Baekhyun!” you shouted, finally yanking him off harshly enough so his hand slipped.

You slammed the door shut and Baekyhun was met with silence. Throwing a single, helpless gaze at his friend was enough for Chanyeol to nod and move. “I'll go after her,” he reassured Baekhyun who seemed to be on the verge of mental breakdown.

Baekhyun just nodded, watching Chanyeol leave and hoping you wouldn't actually break up with him.

//

You were marching down the dark street, ignoring the anxiety creeping in from the silent, empty streets. They were eerie and scary and you hated walking down them at such a late hour but there was no way you could stay at Baekhyun's.

Fast steps brought you back to the present and your heart almost jumped out of your rib cage when you felt someone taking your wrist again. Hope spiked up, expecting to see Baekhyun but it was Park Chanyeol.

He turned you to him gently, little out of breath from trying to catch up with you. “You sure walk fast,” he commented.

He let go of your wrist and you sighed, looking at him with expectation. “What do you want, Park?”

“I just wanted to make sure you're fine,” he said rather shyly.

“I'm just fine,” you insisted, “I will go home now. Go back, it's late.”

“I'll take you home,” he said and to prove a point he clinked with his car keys. “Though it's not the best car out there, it will do the job.”

You rolled your eyes. “I always knew all of you were judging me for my status. And don't bother. I know you're only doing this because of Baekhyun. Well, you don't need to do this.”

“He would skin me alive,” he whispered, horrified. “And he is now too good with the scalpel. I wouldn’t dare.”

“I don't want your help unless it's something you actually want to do, Park Chanyeol,” you muttered through gritted teeth, feeling another wave of tears threatening to spill. “You just made it worse. Leave.”

“It’s late.”

“I don't care. I need to be alone right now.”

“For your information, we all know how much he cherishes you,” he started. “Whenever he would reject you, he would study but not really focus. He keeps talking only about you. We don’t judge you for money but for how much you occupy our space even if you aren't there. That dude is just bewitched by you and I don't know how you managed to do it, to be honest. He is the coldest guy to any other opposite sex beside you.”

“What are you trying to say, Park Chanyeol?”

He sighed and gave you a pointed look. “Baekhyun sacrificed a lot for you. He is so loyal to you despite all the matters you guys have. He never told us but we have a hunch. Just… don’t go breaking his heart.”

“I am not breaking his heart!” you said loudly, tears rolling down your cheeks. “He doubts my feelings.”

“He doesn't. He is insecure.”

“How can he be insecure? All I ever wanted was to be with him.”

Chanyeol stepped closer to you, causing you to tilt your head back further. “Then go back and amend the mess you made.”

“It's not just my mess. It's ours. We made it. He should know what he told me was wrong.”

“All he ever did was listen to you! What makes you think that guy has unlimited patience? He doesn't! So go back, and make it right again!”

You let out a loud groan, turning away from him. You tapped your foot on the concrete, thinking hard though you were close to exasperation. Turning back to Baekhyun's friend, you muttered: “Since you brought those keys, take me on a drive. I’ll sponsor the gas.”

//

It was already late when you returned back but at least you managed to clear up your mind. Quietly slipping back inside his dark room, you saw him lying in bed, his back turned to you. Putting your bag quietly down on the floor, you slipped under the comforter, your arms and legs hugging him like a koala bear.

You thought he was asleep or worse, that he’d ignore you, but he moved almost as soon as you hugged him, turning in your embrace, pushing his leg between yours and his hand circling your waist, his hand on the skin of your lower back. It was pitch black in the room, but once you felt his hot breath on your mouth and then the moisture of his lips on yours, you didn't need to see. You just felt. He kissed you and poured all of his apologies, regrets and forgiveness in the kiss. You returned the kiss just as fervently, feeling his warm hand on your cheek, his fingers in your hair while his thumb smoothed the skin under your eye. He shuffled himself closer and hummed when you darted out your tongue. He sucked on your lip a little longer before opening his mouth to let you in, and you took your time in exploring him, twirling and sucking on his tongue while you felt his arm tightening around you, his hand under your hoodie as he caressed you under your breast. In the quietness of his room there were just the slick sounds of your making out. 

When you couldn't keep going anymore, you separated, your mouth fully wet from your mixed saliva as you panted loudly. You felt him pressing his forehead to yours and you sighed in relief.

“I'm so sorry, princess,” he whispered, nuzzling your nose gently, dragging his leg up so he could rest it on your thigh. “I was a fool.”

“No,” you whispered back, wishing you could see him better. “You merely stated the facts. It's all on me.”

“We both screwed up,” he added, “but fuck.” He gave your cheek a small, open-mouthed kiss, sending shivers down your spine, “I can't imagine you leaving me and being with him. I can't.”

You wanted to reply to him and to ease his mind that you wouldn't, but you would lie. The more you would keep to yourself, the more you would end up hurting the most precious person in your life.

“I'm so sorry. None of what I said is true,” you managed to blurt, unable to come up with anything more. “I keep breaking you. I'm so sorry.”

“Shh, baby,” he whispered urgently, his hand that was resting on your cheek slipping to the back of your head to bring you closer. You hid your face in his chest while he hid his in your neck. “You're not breaking me. You're breaking me if I'm not with you.”

You snuggled closer to him and he sighed, hugging you tighter. “My precious gem, I love you,” he whispered into your ear. To make your body contact more intimate, you also hid your hands under his hoodie, feeling his muscles contracting at your delicate touch. “You're mine.”

//

Few days later you received a message. It was from Mr Kwon and you groaned, stopping on your way to another class.

I request a lunch with you today

My driver will pick you up at 12

I know you're not supposed to be having classes

You scoffed, rolling your eyes as you pushed your phone back into your bag and headed inside the classroom. Even if you would reject him, he wouldn't accept it, so you might as well not bother with replying.

However, you were shocked when the driver came all the way to your classroom as all the students were pouring out and heading for lunch. You knew Mr Kwon's driver and even though he was polite, you didn't like the looks he was giving you whenever he saw you wearing skirts, like for instance, now.

He escorted you to the expensive restaurant where they were already waiting for you. Upon spotting you, the staff rushed towards you and led you to Mr Kwon who was already seated, his hands clasped together as his elbows rested on the table. He stood up, giving you a polite bow as he helped you sit down.

When he was opposite you, he said: “Pleasure to see you. How have you been the past few days we didn't see each other?”

You suppress a tired sigh. “I've been fine, thank you.”

“Oh, have you, now?” he questioned, his eyebrow lifting. His eyes were telling you something he wasn't verbalizing and it put you into unease right away.

Smiling, you muttered: “Yes, but thank you for your concern.”

“No issues with your friends?”

His stupid inquisition was starting to annoy you. “Excuse me? Could you please speak more explicitly?”

“I thought you'd never ask,” he smirked and took out an envelope from the inside of his cardigan and handed it to you over the table.

With uncertainty, you accepted it and opened it, not wasting time in trying to understand his mysterious words. There were photos. Frowning, you inspected them better and you were shocked when you saw it was you with a tall male. Park Chanyeol. It must have been that night when you fought with Baekhyun. Your breath hitched in your throat when you realized this man had you followed by someone. 

You opened your mouth to talk but he cut through like a knife. “I was wondering where did you receive such a - how shall I put it - passionate bruise on your neck the last time I saw you. Turns out you're sleeping around with someone.”

It felt like he just threw a bucket of icy cold water on you. The idea of him having you followed, of him not trusting you and rudely breaking into your privacy as if you were some object he could manipulate and decide whom to meet and whom to not meet was driving you up the wall.

“You don't have anything to defend yourself?” he asked sharply. “How long have you been seeing that man?”

You swallowed on a dry throat. Mr Kwon thought your boyfriend was Park Chanyeol? That was good. As long as he had no knowledge about Baekhyun, you didn't care. “I… it's been…”

“Jesus Christ, I really didn't think you would be a whore,” he snickered, eyeing you up and his eyes eventually resting on your cleavage. “You were acting all innocent and brave just a few years ago and attending university changed you so much. I wanted to be the only one who would bed you,” he sneered and you felt a bile rising in your stomach.

“What- Excuse me?! Who do you think you are?!” you exclaimed, horrified. “Don't you dare think of me that way.” You stood up and wanted to scream when you saw his eyes drinking up your thighs that got revealed as your skirt hiked up. “A deal is a deal. You don't have any rights to treat me like this. And you can bet you aren't going to boss me around once we are married. I'll easily reject the marriage, too.”

Mr Kwon was fast up on his feet to walk over to you. “Well, if you do, your parents are as good as dead. Their business is in shackles, young lady. So unless you want them to be able to afford some food and have a roof over their heads, I advise you to respect me,” he was talking so fast you could barely register his touch on your hip and on your backside. Gasping, you slapped his hand away and dared to push him from you. He snickered.

“Watch your hands, Mr Kwon,” you spat. “This is a private property.”

He laughed and leaned in. “Oh, are you like this with him too? Then I can't wait to have the full rights. The only one with rights. Soon, little tiger.” You moved to push him away when he added: “You better end this little thingy you have with the boy. Because if I find out who he is, I will destroy him and any perspectives he could have for the future.”

Even though he didn't know about Byun Baekhyun, you could not risk it. 

You had to break up with him.

// // // // //

Drop me a message! ^^ CuriousCat

#exowritersnet #baekhyun fanfiction #exo fanfiction #superm fanfiction #baekhyun angst #baekhyun smut #baekhyun fluff #baekhyun scenario #baekhyun fic #MWM #mywritings

[dndsims]

Guess who just spent days making younger versions of my sim's fiance, and his parents, then doing multiple photoshoots with them in order to properly stock a family photo wall at his mother's place?

This was way more tedious than I expected but at least I have something to post about over here, right? And yes, I know there's a blank spot, it's reserved for a shot from my sim's upcoming wedding.

Shoutout to @korvakisubodex for playing my favourite d&d boyfriend and creating this wonderful family in the first place. Because this blog isn't called dndsims for nothing, all of my sims are based on my d&d characters and occasionally other player's characters or npcs that are important to them. Also thanks for putting up with my incessant questions about them over the past few days.

Higher res versions of my favourite shots under the cut, plus details about the sims, for those interested.

For reference, my sim is Max. She has a younger sister she's looking after named Johanna. Her fiance's name is Korva, and his parents are Balama and Kethoth. Max & Johanna's parents aren't in the picture (literally and figuratively), for Reasons.

This is Balama & Kethoth early in their relationship, pre marraige & kids. It's taken close to where they met. Bonus points to simmers who can figure out where that is off the background.

Balama and Kethoth got married near the town she grew up in. It was a beautiful ceremony. I actually got a lot of nice pictures in this shoot, it was really hard to pick just one.

A happy little family, now with toddler Korva. Hard to imagine anything bad happening to them... I think this was taken when they'd just moved into their first house, which needed a bit of work. Hence the paint on Balama's jumpsuit.

What an adorable shot of kid Korva and Kethoth. Look how happy they are. Not long after this was taken, Kethoth went MIA during one of his many adventures into the depths of space. He is believed dead, despite no trace of his body or his shuttle being found to this day.

Teen Korva was a precious nerd, but also deeply unhappy. He spent most of his school life "repressing his personality as a result of facing homophobia and general bullying" (my paraphrasing of his player's words). Not to mention losing his dad when he was around 12. Don't worry buddy, it gets better for you. Eventually.

Korva & Max met in college and quickly became best friends. After graduation when Max decided that she needed to just take her much younger sister and flee their abusive parents, her Best Friend Korva was determined to come with them. "Wow, what a great friend who will obviously never return the intense romantic feelings I have for him" thought Max. Years of co-parenting toddler Johanna together later, they finally got a clue. If you look closely you can see the clue sneaking up on them in the background of this selfie.

This was taken on Johanna's first visit to her Nanna Balama's farm in the countryside, where Balama moved not long after Korva went off to college. Less than a year after this photo was taken, Korva, Max & Johanna are preparing to move in with Balama while they look for their own place nearby. This is because Johanna has loved the countryside ever since her first visit and it will be handy to have Balama nearby to look after her while Max, and sometimes Korva, travel to various archeological digs for work. Not at all because Max recently ran into her birth mother while out at a bar with her friends and they need to lay low again for a while.

Finally, to round it all out, here's Korva and his mum in the present day. Look at how much happier and more confident he looks. This was taken during a break from unpacking Korva, Max & Johanna's things. They'll probably stay living with Balama until Max accidentally gets pregnant, or Kethoth returns from space at long last, and the small farmhouse becomes too crowded. Whichever happens first.

#my sims #feel free to ask me about any cc I use #I plan to do lookbooks for all my main sims at some point #but until then I'm happy to answer wcif's about what little I do post #also feel free to ask me about my sims #or the d&d characters they're based off #I love a good excuse to talk about my babies

[constellationclarke]

Lmao ignore me (if the read more doesn’t work on mobile I’m sorry ya’ll can scroll past this I’m just venting to myself so I don’t go crazy)

Shoutout to my mum and her need to manipulate interactions to make me look bad or embarrassed or like a bitch so she can, what? Have moral superiority?? Oh and then act like nothing is wrong and continuing joking and so trying to further manipulate things by acting like I’m the bad guy or there’s something wrong with me bc I’m no longer happy obviously for being treated like that but to her I’m “moody” or a bitch or “never in a good mood” or “can never take a joke”. I’m so sick of it

Moments ago she came into my room looking for something and while she was here we started joking about something, something really mundane like it was to do with some clothes and shoeboxes like that’s how irrelevant it was and we were both laughing and I was mid laugh when she just comes out with “this isn’t funny my aunt is dying” and I’m just ??? She hadn’t mentioned it at. all. and she just interrupted me, in the midst of our laughter over a joke she actually started to say that and I was stunned and silent because I was so blindsided I didn’t know how to react and then I eventually ask which aunt and if I’d met her and which cousin she’s the mother of and she tells me and then I ask what happened and mum says it’s cancer and then like. Straight after saying that she goes right back into joking and then leaves and I’m just sat here completely stunned. And it’s not the first time she’s done this, she does it all the time. We’ll be joking around and she’ll tease me and it’s fine but as soon as I start I’m disrespectful and need to be serious and ‘this isn’t the time for joking’ or ‘who do you think you are to speak to me that way’ and she’ll just completely ruin the mood just to prove her authority over me and then as soon as she’s done she’ll start joking with me again but it’s always insulting me in a lowkey way and then she’ll be ‘confused’ when I’m all of a sudden not joking back and basically call me a bitch and it’s always been this way

Like as a teenager, whenever I’d have friends over and we would just be chilling quietly in my room she would come in and start berating me for something I apparently did that was wrong and it was all a complete sham because she would do it in english whereas if there really was a problem she would speak to me in portuguese but no, she would find some tiny insignificant thing and go all ‘stern disciplinarian mum mode’ just to, what? Prove to my 13yr old friend “oh look at me disciplining my child and embarrassing her in front of her friends and ruining her evening by intruding on a moment I wasn’t even a part of just to assert my dominance, I’m such a good mother!”

Or the time when I was young and was horrified at the fact that people ate rabbits and so I vehemently refused to eat rabbit meat because it upset me so much and when I was like 10 or roundabouts and we were having a big family dinner and all my aunts and uncles and cousins were there and I was told that for dinner we were having chicken and I had no reason to suspect otherwise and the meat in the pan looked like chicken, not that I paid that much attention to it, so I was having a good time chatting and laughing with my cousins and I didn’t understand why they gave me strange looks when I wanted a second serving and asked them to pass me the chicken but they did and we carried on being kids and dinner went on and then it was over and a few moments later from the ‘grown up’ end of the table mum calls my name so I look over to see what she wants and they’re all looking at me and she’s smirking and asks what I thought of the food and I’m confused but I assume she means because my aunt cooked or something idk so I say it was great and the adults all burst out laughing and she reveals to me it was rabbit and she had got all the adults to lie to me and tell me it wasn’t chicken because she knew I was against eating rabbit so she just. Completely and utterly humiliated me in front of our entire family and lied to me and deceived me into doing something she knew I wasn’t comfortable with and now everybody was laughing and making fun of me and I just had to sit there and take it while trying really hard not to cry or react in any way because I knew that if I did have any sort of negative reaction I would just be further humiliated or punished for it. The other day she brought it up while we were in public and was like ‘haha wasn’t this so funny’ but she’s been treating me like shit all my life and I guess she just thought that I’d always continue to put up with it so boy the look of pure shock on her face when I clearly wasn’t amused and very bluntly said “that’s not funny at all. You humiliated me in front of the entire family and you lied to me. You should be ashamed” was amazing, she literally was speechless for a moment as I continued to calmly eat my lunch and let her and my dad stew in the awkward silence until she hastily cleared her throat and tried changing the subject

And how about how she is very affectionate which I’m always told I should be thankful for that she enjoys showing her love but I’m not because she completely disregards my boundaries (to the point that it’s something that makes me so angry that if I ever have kids I’ve sworn to myself that I’m going to teach them about consent from a young age and that absolutely no one, no matter who they are, family or not, can touch them if they don’t feel comfortable and have every right to say so!!) My mum would like to launch kiss attacks and would end up tackling me and pinning me down because I would say no and try to get away from her so she would do that, thinking it’s all a big joke, and even though she would make me laugh by tickling me, I would not at all be comfortable with it and would actually feel trapped and panicking but I just tried to stay calm despite my gut reaction being to push her off me or kick or do whatever I could to get away but I knew if I did I would be in so much trouble so I would just try to squirm away but accidents happen and sometimes in the midst of the play fighting I’d accidentally hit her or something and she would completely flip out and yell at me and tell me off for being “so mean and cruel and nasty and a horrible person” and punish me. And one time we were joking around because she snatched my phone away in return for affection and I was trying to get it back and also get away from her and she accidentally ended up dropping it and hitting me but then told me not to overreact and at that point it had been like 17/18 years of this and I’d had enough and lost my patience and was upset and no longer in the mood to put up with it and I was emotional but managed to calmly call her out and say that even though I recognised what just happened was an accident and she didn’t mean it, it was unfair that she forces me into situations where I feel uncomfortable and I’ll accidentally hurt her and she’ll get mad but when she does it to me and even almost damages my stuff there’s no problem and I was visibly upset but she didn’t care and just said “no. your phone is fine and you can have it back but I did this by accident but when you hit and hurt me you do it on purpose because you’re mean” which is rich coming from a woman who thinks it’s okay to slap a child if they misbehave and she never apologised and the next day acted like nothing had happened except to ask me if I’d “calmed down yet” and then continued on pushing for affection

Ooo and what about the time on my 18th birthday, you know, a day people get really excited for and everyone views as special? And instead I went to school and was treated like crap and ignored the whole day by my so-called friends for absolutely no reason to the point where I was on the verge of tears at the end of the day and was so emotionally exhausted coming home that I fell asleep for hours. I was vaguely aware of mum coming home and talking to me but I was so tired I asked if we could talk later and she was absolutely fine and understanding and let me sleep (also important to note that during the night one of her uni assignment results had been published but we’ll get back to this in a second) and then I was woken up for dinner and as I come downstairs dad hands me the phone because my uncle and aunt want to say happy birthday and we don’t have a good relationship with them because they’re not good people and have done some shitty stuff to use but I was tired and didn’t want to start trouble and cause fights by refusing to talk to them so I relented and it was just a quick 30 second conversation and even though they’re horrible at least calling me to say happy birthday was a good action right? Apparently I was wrong and a bitch talking to them because when I hang up the phone and go to the kitchen to eat, all of a sudden mum was cold towards me and only spoke to me if it was necessary in clipped short sentences like to answer my question of what was for dinner or to ask me to pass something and she wouldn’t even look at me and I was so confused and things just got worse because dad was so oblivious and because we were silent he got distracted by the news on tv and absorbed in it so dinner was spent in practically total silence and mum finished eating quickly and jumped up immediately to start washing up rather than spend another second at the table with me, ya know, her daughter on her birthday, and then dad also finished before me and got up to do something so . I was eating alone and all I could think about was the shitty day I’d had to the point where I felt like I was going to have a panic attack and ended up bursting into tears over my plate and dad was obviously worried and now I was sobbing that my day had been absolutely horrible and I felt like shit and now on top of it mum was mad at me and won’t even talk to me and I was just breaking down and she just sighed and denied being mad at me and they calmed me down and I went up to bed to rest and later mum came to talk to me and she admitted she was mad at me for speaking to my aunt n uncle and I countered by calmly saying “yeah they’re dicks but at least they called me instead of ignoring me and were nice and I’d already had such a shit day on a day that is supposed to be my day and I was exhausted and didn’t want to cause a fight” and she said “well it’s not just all about you you know, today is about me too since I have birth to you and you didn’t even think of me, I get home and you’re just asleep and when I went to talk to you you didn’t even ask me what grade I got in that assignment when I’d told you the grades were coming out today!” And I was just so shocked into silence and in the end I ended up apologising to her

Let’s not forget the time the night before my english lit A-level, you know, the most important exam to me since at that time I had applied to study english lit at uni and this grade was important, and she and dad had been fighting over something and then that night they’re having a massive screaming match over the phone because he was in Portugal and this is all while I’m trying to study and they’re shouting things at one another and having the worst fight that I’ve ever heard them have, to the point where I genuinely thought they were going to get divorced, that’s how awful it was, and then they start arguing over fucking phone calls and dad is insisting one thing and mum is insisting the other and it was about one night dad talking to me on the phone so they fucking drag me into the argument to clear things up aka say who’s right and who’s wrong and effectively pick a side but it turns out they were both kind of wrong about the situation and I stay neutral and clear things up but that actually makes it worse and I guess mum was expecting me to be on her side and she continues screaming at my dad and then actually starts screaming at me saying I just make things worse and that I’m a liar despite the fact that they’re the ones that dragged their own child into fight just to use me against each other and that I actually had proof to back up what I said!! But no, this is irrelevant and she says I’m a liar and a bad person because I’m purposefully making things worse and I’m not siding with her and she’s genuinely screaming at me and I have enough and basically tell her that she can fuck off dragging me into an argument and trying to use me and that she has no consideration for me and my feelings and the fact that I have a fucking exam the next morning and now have to deal with this shit and I just go back to my room and slam the door and I hear her slam hers and I just end up crying for ages instead of studying because I can’t focus on studying anymore and things seem like they’re falling apart and after a couple of hours she comes to me with a fake ass apology that doesn’t even really apologise for what happened

Oh and after she came to ‘apologise’, she tried to have this big deep talk with me and during the talk I told her that I don’t like it when she calls me stupid because it’s something that she and my dad did that really fucked me up as a kid and now I can’t handle being called it by them and I just tell her I don’t like it and she promises not to do it anymore and guess fucking what. Now she manipulates me with it where instead of just outright calling me stupid she’ll joke “don’t make me call you that word you don’t want me to call you” to get me to do something, like. Is it really that hard to just be a decent fucking human being? And after that fight, because it was so big and they had genuinely screamed stuff at each other about splitting up, naturally there was a moment where I was scared they were going to get divorced or something and during that big ‘deep’ talk after the fight she told me I was “silly” to think that and every now and then if she and dad are having a slight disagreement about something she likes to mock me and say “yeah are you still scared mummy and daddy are getting a divorce” and it’s like. no matter what I say I’m never respected and I’m just mocked and belittled and disrespected and humiliated at every chance so she can prove her superiority and I’m so tired and I wish I could say it was just these things that happen but there have been so many more instances and other things that she’s done to me and I’m genuinely just tired. I’m tired of feeling angry. I’m tired of being treated the way I’m treated and god I just wish I could go back to uni so I’m away from home because this really isn’t good for my mental health

#i'm putting this under a read more because it ended up being wayyyyyy longer than expected lol #i would just delete it but god i really needed to vent and if i delete it then the negativity will just continue to fester in me #i just intended the first paragraph and then got carried away lmao #anyway ya'll can ignore this or not idc #if anyone wants to pay me a shitload of money so i never have to rely on my family or see them ever again i'd be hella grateful #personal #i chat shit #long post

[someone-im-close-to-fanfic-blog]

Chapter 3: His Confession

Maxwell and Wilson have a little chat.

Chapter Rating: Barely crossing the line between PG and PG13

(Quick shoutout to everyone who’s been reading and supporting this so far! You guys are awesome!)

"Wilson, it's just me." Maxwell said softly. There was an almost soothing tone in the other's voice. The scientist relaxed some, but not much. Something seemed off here.

"What do you want?" The smaller man asked shakily.

"Did you honestly think no one would see you run out?" Maxwell shook his head, removing his hands from the other's shoulders. "Tut, tut. I expected more from a so-called brilliant scientist such as yourself, Mr. Higgsbury."

Wilson bit his lip. "I just needed to..uh..."

"Don't have a good enough excuse?" Maxwell teased with a smirk. "Might as well be honest, since no one else is here to listen to us. And besides, I won't tell, so just say what you're doing out here, alright?"

Wilson swallowed hard and turned around to face Maxwell, shaking a little but trying to hide it. The taller man had the most ridiculous grin plastered to his face, and for a split second Wilson had the urge to lunge out and slap it off the other's face. However, the impulse was gone as soon as it had  come.

"I left supplies at the area I set up for my experiments." He said as flatly as he could muster.

Maxwell nodded. "Well, alright. While you're here, there was  something I wanted to ask you for myself. Would you mind staying out a little longer?"

Wilson shook his head. He wasn't sure why.

"Fine, but can we walk while we talk? I need those supplies."

Maxwell's smirk changed to a slightly kinder smile and reached into his inventory, producing a grass backpack from it. Wilson took it and gave the other a glare, thinking at first it would be a trap of some sort, like he'd filled every inch of the bag with bees. When he opened it, however, he saw that the bag was the exact same one as the one he'd left at his makeshift camp, containing each and every one of the supplies he'd been set on grabbing.

He opened his mouth to speak but all that came out was a very quiet woah. He looked up at the dapper man.

"How did you...?" But the look on the other's face said that Wilson wouldn't be getting his answer anytime soon.

"Don't worry about it." Maxwell waved off the subject. "But seriously, even though you already have that bag, there is something I'd still like to talk with you about."

Wilson swallowed again, slinging the backpack over his shoulders. "Uh...okay?" Again, something here didn't seem right. Maxwell was being oddly kind to him tonight. That wasn't natural. He would have expected this more from Wendy than from him.

"Right, then. I guess, sit down." The scientist did so, cautiously, in case a tooth trap had been planted specifically under his ass or something by Maxwell. Surprisingly for him, the pain of having countless teeth being driven into his behind never came. Maxwell sat down with him too.

"If you're not going to let your friends in on what's been bugging you," Maxwell said firmly, "Tell me."

For a moment, Wilson was completely frozen. Tell him of all people such a personal thing? Absolutely not. But for some reason he felt like Maxwell could be trusted here. After all, he'd gone through the trouble of getting that bag for him. The least he could do was open up at little.

"Promise me you will never, EVER tell the others." Wilson found himself utter in a dead serious whisper to the other. Maxwell nodded.

Wilson sighed and ran his bruised, calloused fingers through his knotted black hair. He wasn't sure if he was tired, or if he was just sick of holding it all in, but the next thing the scientist knew, he was confiding the secret that had broken his mental health in the man that had given him nothing but hell for an undocumented and unholy amount of time.

"Alright, so ever since I was born, my parents knew there was something wrong with me." He began after inhaling a deep, shaky breath. "I didn't make eye contact with them or speak for a long time, and when I did start talking, I used my words...er...at a rather advanced  level. I also had a tendency--oh, who am I kidding, I still do this--to find something I was interested in and latch onto it for a long time. I'd become obsessed with it. The only good thing I think that ever came out of that was it was easy for me to be entertained. The first thing I was ever obsessed with was probably the weirdest of them all...it was how the boards in the house all fit together." The smaller man laughed, a little bitterly. "Most of our house was made from wooden boards, and I used to go around and try to literally tear these boards out of the floors and walls and occasionally succeeded. My parents thought I was undisciplined and a freak, but I didn't care how many times I got yelled at or hit for it. I just wanted to learn things for myself, you know?" He shrugged and gave Maxwell a sideways glance.

To his surprise, the other nodded.

He tried not to let this faze him. "Well, as a result of me being so eccentric from a young age, I didn't have any friends at all until I was around nine years old." He bit his lip. No going back. "That's when my little sister was born."

"Ah." Maxwell raised his eyebrows. "You have a sister."

"That's right." Wilson nodded. "Her name was Willow. Willow Petunia Higgsbury." He laughed again. "My parents really weren't the most creative when it came to naming." He shrugged. "Anyway, after she was born, we were basically inseparable. In fact, I think it's safe to say I spent more time with her than our parents ever did combined!" He smiled, but that faded, and he shuddered at the mention of his parents.

"Is everything alright?" Maxwell asked.

"...our parents weren't the best to us." Wilson pulled his knees up to his chest. "They hated me, Father especially, for not wanting to study law and make money for the family. They hated Willow for standing up for me and feared I'd 'ruin her chances of becoming a proper lady' if I spent too much time around her." Wilson snorted and rolled his eyes. "If you ask me, though, she never had a chance at that. That just wasn't who she was, you know? She developed a weird interest in fire when she was just a toddler. One time, she wandered straight into the fireplace and didn't take a bit of damage. None." He looked over at Maxwell with wide eyes. "To this day, the event still amazes me." He figured the man probably didn't believe him, though, and decided not to dwell on it.

He cleared his throat. "So...despite mum and Father not really approving of Willow's interest in me or fire, they got her a lighter for her sixth birthday. I was fifteen then. I remember the way her eyes lit up, no pun intended, when she saw it. She was so happy. She kept it ever since and took better care of it than anything else she owned. In fact, it was still working when I last saw her." A fond grin spread across Wilson's lips and he chuckled, looking up at the dusk sky.

"I take it you two were close." Maxwell said quietly, a bit amazed. He'd never seen the scientist like this before, so happy and relaxed. He'd always been so tensed and panicked.

"We were." The smile on the other's lips faded. "Our bond was tested the day I was thrown out."

Maxwell's eyebrows raised with interest. "Thrown out."

Wilson nodded. "Father's idea. He said he was sick of me being around if I wasn't going to contribute to the family, and they made me leave while Willow watched. God, how old was I then? At least twenty-five. I don't know my own age now, but that's how old I was then. Now, Willow and I were all the other had. No one on our street, or anywhere in London for that matter, wanted to hang out with...the Freak Twins is what they called us despite our nearly ten-year age difference. I guess it's because we bore such close resemblance to one another. So when Willow, a pyromaniac since birth, watched her only companion get thrown out, what do you think she did about it?"

Maxwell thought about it for a while and then remembered what Wilson said earlier about most of their house being made from boards. "No."

"Yes." The grin was back on Wilson's face, but this one was more proud than anything. "I was about a half mile away from home when I smelled something burning. I looked back to where I had come from and saw smoke and hints of flames spreading to the other houses surrounding ours. I knew it was only one person who could have started that fire, and immediately felt better. But I thought she died in the fire, and kept running through the streets. Eventually, I found room in the basement of an old shoemaker, where I distracted myself with science, but eventually had to move out since I was broke as shite and couldn't pay rent. That's when I hauled ass to an old cabin in the woods, and that's where I heard your voice on the radio." He sighed, his lip quavering. "I tried to distract myself from Willow's death with science, then, too. Then I came here and I had more stuff to worry about and...god, it was so hard not to cry thinking about it. It really took a toll on my sanity, if you couldn't tell." Hot tears itched at the corners of Wilson's eyes, burning to get out.

"...I see." Maxwell had gotten eerily quiet.

Wilson nodded, his breathing becoming uneven. "When I joined this world with you and everyone else, I couldn't think about it anymore. I was so busy. And then recently, I remembered, 'Oh, hey, your lifelong companion is dead! Or she probably is, anyway! Either way, you're never gonna fucking see her again!' And I can't help but feel like there's something I could have done..." Tears were streaming down Wilson's face now. His words were becoming a bit slurred, and he hiccuped occasionally. "You have no idea what I'd give to see Willow again. I love her so much..." He buried his face in his arms and began to sob, trembling hard and whimpering like a hurt puppy.

Maxwell had no idea how to react. Yes, Wilson had used his fair share of curse words, but he rarely used fuck. It was only reserved for times of extreme frustration or pain, and all Max could do was assume that that's what the other was feeling. Carefully, he wrapped his arm around the other's shoulder.

"Hey, it's alright, pal..." He tried to sound as soothing as possible, but this felt so awkward. "She did that because she loved you too, you know. I don't know if that helps any, but...if she did die, she did it for you." He attempted to keep his voice as soothing as possible. It actually seemed to work. Wilson relaxed a bit at the feeling of the other's arm around his shoulder, and his sobbing ceased quicker than expected.

"Th-thank you." Wilson hiccuped, wiping tears from his eyes. The two seemed to forget their rivalry in that moment as Wilson leaned into the other's shoulder, still trembling slightly.

"Do you know what that's like, Maxwell? To lose the person in your life that you're closest to?" Wilson's voice sounded a bit hoarse.

The dapper man looked off into the distance, thinking. "Yes. Maybe she wasn't as close to me as your sister was to you, but I've felt it, too."

Wilson nodded. "Sucks, doesn't it?"

Maxwell nodded too. "Yeah...it really does."

The two sat there in silence for the longest time, Wilson's head against Maxwell's shoulder, the smaller quietly sniffling every now and then as he tried to calm down and the taller man's mind racing as he stared off into space. Wilson had to admit, it felt kind of nice. The comfort was really needed, even if it was from someone he didn't really like. To be honest, though, after this, Wilson wasn't sure he'd ever be able to say he completely hated this man again, even after all the shit they'd put each other through.

Night fell quicker than the two had originally anticipated. Maxwell quickly fashioned a torch from sticks and grass and stood up, helping a tired and shaky Wilson to his feet. The two knew they were in for a lecture when they got back, ESPECIALLY Wilson, but neither really cared. The scientist knew that the would get questioned for why he looked like he'd cried an entire river and where the bag came from and why he was out so late with Maxwell of all people, but the only thing on Wilson's conscious mind was crawling into his tent and passing out, maybe for the rest of his existence if he could manage it.

As expected, Wigfrid and Wickerbottom were the first two to start talking when Maxwell returned, practically dragging Wilson along at this point.

"Where have you BEEN?!"

"We were worried sick!"

"Oh, God, did Wilson get hurt again? You dumbass! What did you do!?" Wigfrid grabbed Wilson's chin roughly. "You've been crying. What's wrong?"

Maxwell placed a hand on Wigfrid's wrist and she immediately retracted her grasp. "No need for that, Wigfrid. He's tired. Just let him go to his tent and get some sleep." He let go of Wilson as well and watched as the scientist simply nodded at the group and slunk off to bed. "He's going to need it." He mumbled to himself after he saw Wilson get all the way inside of his tent.

"Excuse me. He's going to need what?" Wickerbottom asked, arms folded across her chest.

"His sleep. Don't worry about him sneaking out, by the way. I've handled it." The scientist heard Maxwell reply curtly as he pulled back the flap of his tent, crawling inside and immediately passed out on the bedding underneath him.

#don't starve #story #chapter 3

[imaginaryculturepress-blog]

TFTP: With Confidence @ HQ

In which With Confidence rock out in Perth, and some fancy lens drama ensues.

Hi, hello, and welcome!

My name is Skyler and I’ve only recently realised just how creepy it is to be writing show reviews almost two months since said shows occurred. 

*Plays Radiohead’s Creep.*

So let’s get to it. 

In the previous post, we discussed part one of the August 25-27th weekend, in which Why Even Try launched their new single, “More Than”, with Grey States, Shedhead, and Crown Loser, and my 85mm f1.8 Nikkor decided to die.  Today we shall continue that tale, focusing on the return of the lens (and the drama that ensued) and the With Confidence show at HQ. 

I swear everything is at HQ. Or Amps. Or Metro. Or the Metropolis. Or some other 18+ location. (I’ve been informed that some 18+ locations allow underage photographers, though. If you know any such venues – in Perth, Western Australia (not Canada) – let me know!) 

Now, where were we? 

Ah, yes. Saturday. We’d gone from prep to travel to shooting to travel to sleep to editing to prep to travel to shooting to travel to sleep to editing again to just needing to go through editing to prep to travel to shooting to travel to sleep to editing again, and it’s probably worth noting that my aforementioned cold was worsening. I doubt waking up at midday assisted with it, but anyway. 

I had a lot of editing to do, though it had to be delayed for the time being; I had a lens that wasn’t lensing and refused to shoot With-freaken-Confidence with a 35mm. Friday was horrible enough – gear-wise – and if I had the chance to run over to replace it in between sets, I would’ve.  So I had to go to Camera House.

But you can’t just walk in waving a receipt in their faces, no, you’ve got to go through the whole process. This includes researching their policies, comparing said policies to the ACCC’s website, crying over the fact that you might not see your $519 ever again, arguing with yourself, arguing with them, and just generally being a depressed, anxious wreck.

And so I did just that, finding out that they have a fourteen-day return policy and also finding out that this policy is complete bullshit, as such claims are actually illegal.

Great. So I might see that money after all.

Except… they have the option of either repairing the product or returning it and offering a store credit.

Right. So I might see that gift voucher after all.

Except… if they find that there’s nothing wrong with it, and knowing my luck they will, you’re stuck with this pathetic thing.

…So I might not resolve the issue after all. A few hours later, after editing three photos and binge-watching a Netflix show, I gathered my senses and lens receipts and headed down to Camera House. I was met by the dude who sold me the item, some cheerful bloke with probable intentions of selling more faulty crap. He greeted my mother and I (for my mother always tags along when arguing - or leaving the house - is in question), and asked about the 85mm, automatically regretting the query. Dude: So how's the lens? Me: Not good. Dude: Why? Me: It's failing to focus. Dude's face: What the actual fucking fuck did you do to it...? Dude's words: Oh? Do you have it with you? Me: Yup. *Awkwardly attempts to attach the lens to the camera body without dropping and shattering everything.* *Shatters dignity instead.* Dude's face: *Engulfed in cringe.* My mother: *Teeth clenched, bloodshot eyes, ready for battle.*

Dude tested the gear as I anxiously awaited the verdict. What if it only failed when I used it? Did it hate me? Oh my Gerard Way, it hated me!

He confirmed my nightmare: it worked perfectly.  Me: Please excuse me as I lie on your floor and cry endlessly. Dude: Could you not? It diverts potential customers. Me: Kill me. After taking a moment to... regather my brain cells? No, that's impossible. To calm down? Yeah, to calm down. After taking a moment to calm down and accept that my most precious lens was rebelling against me, I let the matter proceed.

Dude called over a guy who was walking past, supposedly the manager. Supposed Manager seemed thoroughly done with life and about to jump off a cliff, sighing as Dude spoke to him.

Supposed Manager: *Sighs.* What seems to be the issue? Dude: They bought the lens and say it isn't working. It’s fine right now, though. He showed the test images. Supposed Manager: *Sighs again* Right… 

As he inspected the equipment, the pair had a quick conversation regarding the problem. He soon unattached the lens, gained a cockier attitude, and unveiled his complaints.

Supposed Manager: Dust.

Well… yeah. That’s kind of what happens the moment you remove something from its box – dust gathers. Not exactly rocket science.

Supposed Manager: It’s not in brand new condition.

No shit, mate. As you’ve been told, it’s been used to shoot two shows. Not to mention that you’d have to use it to know that it’s broken.

It wasn’t physically damaged, and besides the aforementioned dust, appeared fine.

Supposed Manager: There’s a fingerprint on the back.

Now hold the fuck up.

Me: What?

Supposed Manager: *cleaning the lens* yup.

Me: …No?

What kind of crap was that? 

For those of you who are questioning why I’m making a huge deal out of this: lenses are a photographer's children; we take immense care of them, have favourites, talk to them in weird voices, and they were probably accidents from that innocent trip to JB HI-FI (or in this case, Camera House). And to have a fingerprint on the back of a lens is equivalent to being told you abuse your child.

So never make that claim. Ever. Unless you're desperately hoping to be punched in the face.

Unfortunately, he'd cleaned away the evidence - or lack thereof - before I could disprove his claim. With yet another sigh, he continued:

You're a-

Nope, I can't say it. I need a sponsor. But then again, I prefer JB HI-FI. The only reason I even bought this product from CH was due to the fact that they were the only ones who had it in stock.

But speaking of sponsors and JB HI-FI... would you guys be interested in a sponsorship deal? Please? I'll advertise the living daylights out of you! You know I love you, right? I'll sell my soul for you! No? Dammit... (The Devil: Hey, uh.... if you don't want that soul...)

Side note: am I the only one who thinks that the Devil would sound like the hormone monster from Big Mouth? Also, am I the only one around here who watches that show? Yeah? Okay... But shoutout to my uncle for recommending it! Okay, we should seriously continue with this story... I said: look, I used it to shoot two shows. The first time went perfectly well, though the second round - last night - it refused to work.

Dude looked at me as though I said something hilariously stupid.

Dude: ...You do realise this isn't a concert photography lens, right? My face: Please tell me you're kidding before I stab myself with a tripod. Me: What? Dude: This is a portraiture lens. You came in asking for a specific product, and I thought you knew what you were after.

Supposed Manager was thoroughly confused, though figured his side was winning thus retained his arrogance.

Dude: If you told me it was for concert photography, I never would've sold it to you.

As I fumbled around for words, my mother intervened. 

Mother: *Extreme level of sass* You never asked what it was for. Me to myself: OH FUCK YES, MUM! YOU SHOW 'EM! 

She was so extra, they couldn't deal. 

Supposed Manager gave an ultimatum: either keep the lens, or receive store credit.

But my mother was way too high on her previous sassy success that she couldn't keep from demanding a full refund. And hey, fair enough; JB HI-FI would never do this, they always get personal and you leave feeling emotionally connected with their staff. Seriously: last year, I purchased an Olympus compact camera, the model of which I cannot recall, and the guy working there truly gave a damn about my intentions were, how often I'd be using it, etcetera. He actually cared, shook my hand at the end, and said to come back if I had any queries and to keep him updated. Now that's customer service. (#NotSpons'dButWishItWas #ShaneDawsonQuotes #I'llStopWithTheHashtags)

An argument ensued. Of course it did. It always does. I go in to buy a memory card and we end up in a heated debate regarding the neighbour's goldfish. Or something like that. Regardless, the ACCC is mentioned in at least two threats and quoted eighteen times, and there is no concrete conclusion or win. And yet it continues. Every. Single. Time. 

I'll speed up to the important part: I agreed to store credit, though the cheapest lens available that fit my requirements was $60 more than this one. So I wouldn't be seeing my $519, store credit, or current cash, after all. 

My mother refused to agree to this. How dare they not give it for $519? They just lead us through hell! 

Me? I just wanted to buy the bloody thing and be done with these people. I couldn't shoot With Con with a 35mm. No way. I had more self respect than that. Actually, this had nothing to do with me: I had more respect for the bands than that. I couldn't make them look bad! I wouldn't shoot with a 35mm.

But before I could express such thoughts, my mother answered for me.

Mother: Let's go. Take your lens and go.

What. The. Fuck. Ten minutes later we were at Perth Underground and I felt like a bitchy teenager on a TV show. How could she?! I couldn't - I wouldn't - embarrass myself in front of With Confidence. They probably didn't give a flying fuck, but that wasn't the point. A 35mm. How pathetic. So we had a bit of an argument ourselves. Another ten minutes later, we were back at Camera House. Dude had left and Supposed Manager stood behind the counter, in the same place we left him. Me: We'll take the lens. Supposed Manager: *Sighs.* Alright. But first he had to recheck the state of the lens I was returning. I truly couldn't catch a break, could I? He took some puffy pump thing that sighed almost as much as he did, attempting to remove the dust. I was beginning to think that he was seeing things, that there wasn't actual dust, that he was just tripping on acid. If so, I'd love to get in touch with his dealer. (Side note: JB HI-FI don't employ such shady characters. If you want a safe shopping environment - along with a greater range of products and a sausage sizzle on Saturdays - visit JB.) (#StillNotSpons'd. #StillWishItWas.)  Supposed Manager continued on, wasting everyone's time and shortening my upcoming visit to Grill'd.  Supposed Manager: You know, this is in a horrible condition. *Sighs.* My face: Go on, make one more complaint. I fucking dare you. Supposed Manager continued.  Supposed Manager: You should be glad we're allowing this return.  Me to myself: You should be glad I haven't punched you in the face yet... Perhaps their policy wasn't illegal, but I'm damn sure their customer service was. I'm still struggling to comprehend how they even produced any profit with such arrogant salespeople. Okay, allow me to rephrase: Dude was fair enough. I've got nothing against him. But Supposed Manager? Oh, boy... Who the hell even employed this guy? All he did was sigh, be cocky, and refuse to communicate in an orderly fashion; y'know, treating customers as equal humans and whatnot? JB HI-FI has better standards. And prices. He soon cut the crap and proceeded with the payment. But scanning a credit card is a difficult job. It takes true talent to be able to complete such a complex task, and unfortunately Supposed Manager didn't obtain it. It took him ages - and I mean freaken millenniums - to swipe that thing and have me enter the pin. Ages. And finally, he printed the receipt and gave us the new lens. (Which, by the way, was an ex-demo. Freaken pathetic.) But he managed to misspell my name. Sarah Bjeasdfghjkl? It's Sara Bjelanović (emphasis on the ć), thank you kindly. JB HI-FI never make these mistakes. Ever. At long last, we headed back to Leederville to get some (late) lunch at Grill'd. Hey, speaking of Grill'd, I wouldn't mind a vegan sponsorship from them... But food reviews later. I've wasted enough of your time already. My mother was still pissed off. I don't really blame her. At least we had an incredible show coming up. Two nights in a row - how awesome is that?! Before we knew it, we were at HQ, staring at a sea of coloured hair and one hell of a queue. It was roughly half an hour before doors so we took a seat at a picnic table. That razor blade was still there, and so were the skateboarding kids. They probably lived at the venue.  It was going to be a packed night, and for a socially awkward weirdo whose personal space is a top priority, I knew I was about to suffer. (Though in all honesty, there is no such thing as personal space at a concert. You all kind of merge and become one large mass of humanity in a pit.) We got in, set up, and before most people were even admitted, Available at the Counter began their set.  Shooting was fun. Way too fun. This new 50mm was amazing! It was just the right length for HQ; not too close so you didn't have too far back, and not too far that you had to stand in front of everyone. And with an f-stop of 1.4? I was in photographical heaven. The only thing that could've made it better was if it was from JB HI-FI; they'd give you that true satisfaction. If you've bought gear from them, you'll know what I'm talking about. AATC's set was refreshing. There's nothing better than a local act who play like an international sensation. It was a pleasure to shoot them, and all members interacted with the camera; funny faces, staring long and hard at the lens, that sort of thing that makes photographers all content and satisfied with their life decisions. During the intermission, I made a mental note of everyone who was present. Surely I can't be the only one who does this? Regardless, there were the general crowd of scene/emo/whatever-the-hecks that you see at every event, and then there were the photographers; the amazing Talia Ferguson (who wasn't shooting this show but covered With Con at the Boston the previous night), the incredible Leon Martin (who you should definitely check out because holy fUCK he knows how to shoot), and some other person who I don't know, but they seemed super cool and I'd love to meet them. I didn't speak to any of them, of course, because, as I previously mentioned, I'm a socially awkward weirdo. I did catch up with Talia after the show though.  And then Seaway came on.   ​I'm a Seaway fan. Not crazily into them, but I enjoy their content enough to want to purchase their fancy vinyl... at JB HI-FI. (Actually, the local record stores are also wonderful. High Fidelity, Rhubarb Records, Dada, Noise Pollution, 78, Mill's, Junction, the list could go on forever. They all have extensive ranges and great staff. If any of them are interested in sponsoring an indie blog that's about to start posting record reviews, contact me...) (I'm not even apologising anymore.)​​ The band was extremely inclusive in regards to the crowd. They made an active effort to keep everyone jumping around and enthusiastic, and I even managed to get some shots from the stage. Oh, by the way: do bands hate it when a photographer is onstage? Is it annoying? Do you want to throw a brick at my face? 'Cause I'm only trying to get a few good images, so I don't know.  ​​ Intermission. Now, my mother does this thing were she asks me to show her a photo of every band member so she can spot them throughout the night. At this point, she thought she saw the drummer of Seaway chillin' around at the back of the venue, and convinced me to go talk to him. Personally, I suck at recognising people's faces. It takes me ages to figure out that that's my friend waving from across the room, or who the person next to me is. It's fair to say that my short-term memory sucks, and my long-term visual memory isn't a great deal better.  So I spoke to him. Me: Hey, are you that guy from Seaway...? Him: *Laughing* no... Me: Oh, shit, haha.  Him: *Laughs* sorry. Me: No, no, I'm sorry, my... "friend"... thought you were the dude and I'm horrible with faces. And names. And people in general... Him: *Still laughing* that's all right, haha. And so I awkwardly backed away and found a corner to cry in.  The lights dimmed. The stage darkened. The teenage girls screamed so loudly that my earplugs passed out like Miss Fitter in that science class. With Confidence went onstage, and fucking hell, did they deliver.  ​​ From their dexterous playing to Jayden's amazing voice, Luke's commentary and Ini's innocent existence, the band's set was one to remember. Ironically, I can't remember most of it because I spent an equal amount of time fangirling over my new lens. But from what I can recount, they did an exceptional job and were worth every cent spent on tickets.  ​​ At one point during their acoustic session, I managed to sneak back onstage and hide (not really) behind some amps. I was semi-tangled in cables, but nothing fell over so I suppose it was all good. Ini interacted with the camera, that was awesome. The rest of the band soon rejoined Jay and Ini onstage, and Luke even smiled at me, which made my existence worthwhile. He did so again later on, so you can imagine how high on fangirl feels I was.  ​​ And then they left. The crowd cheered for an encore as I remained stuck on that stage. The fans below were refusing to move, afraid of losing their precious front row spots, and it was agonising. There were around one hundred and fifty or so people there, staring eagerly at the stage, and all that was on it was a poor excuse for a human being. (I'm joking, I was fucking fabulous. Y'know who else is fabulous? JB HI-FI. Grill'd. Local record stores.) ​​   I managed to get down and spent the encore shooting from the pit. It was a marvellous concert, and before everyone was fully aware of what was happening, we were lining up to meet the band.  ​​ I dislike revealing entire conversations, especially if they're with band members or otherwise important humans in my life. As you may've realised, Supposed Manager is not an important person in my life. I just feel as though it's a personal thing for everyone. But here's a recap of what went down: Me: Hugs? Handshakes? I'm too awkward for this. Luke: *Laughs* saaame. Luke: I love your jacket! (He was referring to my patchy denim one.) Band: Thanks for photographing our set! Me: asdfghjkl how does one English properlyfghjkl Me: *Explaining to one of their crew members/managers/some cool dude who was there, how to use my camera.* Cool Dude: *Still takes a rather blurry photo.*

And then we were back at Grill'd. I dreaded the upcoming editing.  MUSIC SUMMARY:

Available at the Counter: energetic as fuck/5

Seaway: intense crowd involvement and amazingness/5

With Confidence: fangirling and falling to the ground like Miss Fitter/5

PHOTOGRAPHICAL SUMMARY:

Lenses: I went through hell for these babies/5

Camera: still not allowed to complain/5

Lighting: the reds destroy my soul/5

Editing: not even Lightroom could save some images/5

My sanity: what's a sanity/5 So that was that. Up next: Homebrand's "Shelf" launch show. Until that's up, let's all go send emails to JB HI-FI, Grill'd, local record stores, and Nikon, asking for sponsorships. Send them this link. Let's see how long this goes on for before they get a restraining order against me! Go give these bands a listen: Available at the Counter Seaway With Confidence Live long and headbang,

xx- Skyler Slate

#tftp