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mrs-weasley-reid · 1 year

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An Escape from Reality

platonic Spencer Reid x geniusbau!reader | part 3

part 1 | part 2 | part 4

Summary: bau!reader kept Spencer up on his toes and consistently became his source of reality, but what would Spencer do when he watched her drop on her knees the same way he did for Maeve? Does he let her drown in a tragic reality or offer an escape from reality?

Warning: details of death, curse word(s)

A/N: not my gif, credits to the owner :)

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Your scream was writhing. A one-syllable word never held so much misery, never sounded so agonizing. Tears ebbed away from your glossy eyes and down to your pale cheeks.

Derek held you back, telling you to stay away from the crime scene. But it wasn't a crime scene. It was your lover's life slowly dissipating. How the damn hell could you stay away?

Your knees almost broke as you fell to where the love of your life lay in his own blood. You collected him in your arms, tears annoyingly blurring your vision. You wiped your eyes aggressively. You needed to see him.

Everything felt too real. His shallow breath. Your pants soaking his blood. Your hands messily pressed on the wound that shot through his back.

"No! No, no, no! Please, no!" And the sobs came stumbling out of your lips, bouncing on every solid matter, piercing through every heart in your vicinity. And that meant a few members of your team.

You craned your neck, finding Derek and JJ standing at a distance. Their worried looks were nonexistent in your eyes. "MEDIC?! WHERE'S THE FUCKING MEDIC?! CALL THEM!" Your throat barely handled your outburst, coughing in soreness while you whimpered in fear.

His hand reached out to you, coughing a smile. "Don't shout, honey. You barely recovered from a cold." His voice was soft and caring, weak and slowly decreasing in volume.

You scoffed. You couldn't believe he had just asked you not to shout when he was a whisper away from death. "Stay awake, Theo. Don't you dare die on me. You can't die on me." You vigorously shook your head for two reasons: shedding tears off your vision and showing your eager disapproval.

Spencer slowed as he watched you hold on for your lover's dear life. He returned from tackling the culprit for you, leaving the rest for Aaron and David to take care of.

It broke his heart. One thing he has wished for you over and over, each night he prayed for peace, was for you to never go through the pain that he went through with Maeve. But it seemed like he didn't pray enough.

"Hey, you forgot your... oh," Spencer halted at the sight of your smile he had never seen before.

You dragged your smile into a straight line as you turned to Spencer. Blush spread on your skin as your eyes widened like a deer caught in headlights.

Spencer wanted to tease you after all your constant bullying over his love life that slowly bloomed once more. But he was familiar with the same look on your face. You weren't ready. He didn't want to push you.

But the man who had an arm around your waist had different plans. "Dr. Reid, right?" He started with a smile, looking at you for confirmation.

You finally recovered from the shock and decided that if it was only Spencer who knew about your lover, it wouldn't be as bad. You cleared your throat, "Reid, Dr. Theo Cohen. Dr. Cohen, Dr. Spencer Reid." You didn't know why you used their respective honorifics as if you weren't a doctorate holder.

"Theo is fine," He chuckles, squeezing your side comfortingly. He turned to Spencer with a friendly smile. "I've heard so many great things about you. It's nice to finally meet you."

Spencer glanced at you and then back to Theo. A smug smirk momentarily twitched his lips, "Nice to meet you too." He noticed how the man didn't move an inch to offer a hand, and Spencer knew then that this man held importance in your life. Why else would you train Theo accordingly to refrain from shaking Spencer's hands? "What are you a doctor in? If you don't mind me asking."

Theo bounced on the balls of his feet, "I'm a trauma surgeon!" He excitedly blurted, prepared to ramble about his passion if triggered.

"Really?" Spencer raised a brow directly at you, who made a promise that you would never date anyone who dove inside someone's body and touched organs. What a hypocrite. He said through his eyes.

You snatched your wallet from Spencer's hands, gulping. "You should go back inside. They're probably looking for you. Go on. It's cold." You rushed, pushing Theo around the car to the driver's seat.

When you came back around to jump on the shotgun seat, Spencer gave you a look. A smile that he only used whenever his heart genuinely felt happy. And your chest tightened.

You paused. A saccharine smile over your lips as you get inside the car.

Theo rolled down the window excitedly, "Let's do trivia night when you have the time!" He peeked his eyes as you rolled the window up from your seat. He was ever the childish one.

Spencer chuckled, shaking his head as he watched the vehicle speed off his line of sight. Finally, his meanest best friend found someone she truly loved. He was proud of you, considering your bitterness every valentine's day. You never failed to point out the fact that it wasn't kissy-face as everyone thought.

The smile never faded off your lips. Spencer approved of Theo. Not that you needed his approval. You'd do whatever the hell you want. However you want. And not that it mattered to you — it did. You couldn't help but feel giddy. You finally chose right. Your genius colleague, best friend even approves. And if that wasn't genuine pride and happiness, you didn't know what else to call it.

Your chest felt tight, "Hey, Dr. Cohen," You started, unsure what to say. "Stop being overdramatic and stay alive. I've been shot worst than this." You bragged, unable to be sweet, gentle, and loving as he knew you.

"Listen, Agent." He retorted with the same tone, except he was quieter and forced. "From a professional's perspective," He laughed blood, making you regret engaging in a conversation with your bleeding boyfriend. "It seems like the bullet created an exit wound. That means I've bled twice as fast. You have to accept it, sweetheart. I will die any moment and need you to move on after that. Don't dread over me. Okay? Promise me you'll move on." It was a dying man's farewell to his weeping lover.

You held his hand closer to your face, leaning against it as if it would keep him alive the more you pressed your skin into his palm. "I hate you. Hear that?" You sniffed in broken words. "I hate you so much. So you better haunt me. Haunt me every single night." Your body shivered as his hand began to lose heat.

He chuckled, sucking in a sharp breath from the pain in his abdomen. "I can't do that, honey. I want you to move on, remember? That means you can't act like this isn't happening." His grasp loosened, breath hitched one last time. And he never recovered.

Agonizingly, your eyes slowly shut. It hit you like a truck. It was real. His body stopped heaving, finally over with the struggle of being alive. His hand dropped limp on his side. His lips stopped quivering from excruciating pain. It was real.

You leaned down to his face, kissing his lips as if, by some miracle, it would wake him up. But you weren't in a fairy tale movie. You weren't a princess. He wasn't a prince. So he remained breathless on your lap.

You gasped, falling over his body. You wept for his life. You cried in despair and heartbreak. The ambulance was too late. And you were one to support the phrase, better late than never. Well, your boyfriend would never come back to life. He was dead. No return after that.

You felt arms wrapped around you, "He's dead. What am I going to do? Theo's dead." You knew the owner of the arms very well, gripping them for support. "Spencer, he died. He left me!" You babbled in sorrow, leaning against his chest.

"I know," Spencer kissed the top of your head, clutching you closer, tighter. "I'm here. I'll be here. It's okay." Even he couldn't stop the tears trailing down his jaw to water down your hair. His heart broke for you. He never wished this type of ache for you, and he felt guilty for not praying hard.

I know it hurts. I'm here, you can break down. I'll be here, don't worry. It's okay, cry it out.

You both knew the entirety of his vague sentences. So the tears that should've dried up minutes ago kept flowing like a bottomless ocean. You wept, screamed, and sobbed for an hour in the safety of the street and Spencer's breath-crushing embrace.

When the paramedics decided it was time to separate you and Theo's lifeless body apart. The agony had faded to a dull throb. No tears. No sobs. No inaudible cries for Theo to start breathing again.

You moved on. It was real. It was over. You moved on.

You sat at the back of one of the SUVs. You felt a jacket wrap around your shoulders, turning to see Spencer sitting beside you.

You bit your bottom lip, "Theo was going to propose." You wryly chuckled. "Bastard didn't get the memo that his girlfriend is a genius profiler even after two years."

"He asked for my blessing," Spencer admitted, earning another laugh from you. Tonight was supposed to be a fantastic night for you. Tonight was supposed to be the night Theo proposed to you after he finally convinced you to invite the team over to your apartment.

"He thought he was so slick. You all thought you were so slick." Tears tattooed stains of anguish on your cold skin. Theo's blood on your cheek didn't seem to encourage your own to flow back up your face. "What an asshole. Dying after getting my hopes up. I even told my parents. They were so happy someone finally tolerated their presumptuous daughter." You let out a shaky breath, wiping your tears.

Spencer released the lip he held between his teeth, gripping the edge of the vehicle. "You don't have to act like it did happen." He stated, staring ahead at the red and blue lights that flashed across your faces.

Your brows knitted, turning your gaze to him. "Don't you mean, didn't?" You laughed.

"You heard it right," Spencer met your empty eyes. "I'll be your escape from reality." He declared, drilling the idea in your head. "Forget about what happened tonight. Just think this was a horrible case that hit close to home, but it didn't happen to you. We can go for a drink. We can fly to Vegas and rob a bank. Let's get on a cruise and act like wealthy, spoiled, genius brats. You don't have to think about Theo's bloody hands and shirt. And when you have nightmares about this, it's just a bad dream. Lose focus. Just remember Theo's smile and how he beat the two of us on trivia night. He's just somewhere out there. Falter. Breakdown. Get mad. It's okay. I'll—" You cut him off.

Déjà vu.

Hilarious.

Ironic.

"But Theo did die, Spencer. He died in my arms after I asked him not to. I told him to haunt me, but he never would. That's real. What happened just now was real. I felt it in my fingertips, Spencer. I felt his life slip away." Pain. That was all you felt.

Spencer rolled his eyes, "I don't remember you making a promise." He blurted.

Your head whipped back to look at him with furrowed brows. "What?"

"Theo made you promise to move on. That's what you're trying to do, right?" Spencer watched as you blinked guiltily. "You didn't make a promise. You just cried. You have the power to do whatever you want. If you want to act like this is not real for a second and feel happy, then do so. No one is holding you back. I fully support it. If you want to act stupid during a case, that's fine. I'll be a genius for both of us. You don't have to face what's real. I still love dreaming about Maeve, about her giggles and us dancing. I still dial her number at a random phone booth whenever I miss her too much. So, just tell me if you want to escape all of this. I'll help you. I'll be your escape from reality. One thing, though." He formed his expression into a serious one. "I can't ever fall in love with you or act like Theo." He lifted his forearms in a cross pattern.

You scoffed, smacking his arms off your sight. "Bold of you to assume you're any match to my boyfriend." You stood up, stretching your arms high as you could. The stars were so bright, and you remembered how Theo loved to point out constellations like they were available for purchase.

Sorry, darling... I don't want you dead yet. Not tonight. You thought as you stared at the brightest star.

You closed your eyes with a smile, a tear falling down your temple, "Spencer," You looked down at him, twisting your body a little. "Theo got called in the ER, but I want to do bomb shots. Wanna come?"

#ssa spencer reid #spencer x reader #platonic #dr spencer reid #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #criminalminds #spencerreid #cm #criminal minds #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x self insert #fem!reader #spencer reid x fem!readr

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mysterious-moonstruck-musings · 7 months

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Destiny & Deliverance: Chapter 23

Destiny & Deliverance Masterlist ||| Dieter Bravo X OFC New as of 10/06/2023

SUPPORT YOUR CREATORS. REBLOGGING & COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED.

Series Rating: Explicit (18+)

Series Summary: Natalia Cohen is experiencing major life changes, beginning with leaving an emotionally abusive husband. She is learning how to navigate life on her own while dealing with high functioning anxiety, depression, and mild PTSD. Everything is looking up for her. She is a highly respected consultant for a major LA firm, has her best friend, Lauren, by her side, and is on her path to healing. Everything changes when she meets a handsome and broken stranger on a work trip. He turns out to be a well-known actor, with a heart-breaking past. They quickly develop a connection that will forever alter their lives.

Warnings: Themes dealing with mental health, emotional trauma, alcohol use, and discussions about suicide. There will be fluff, tears, spicy language, and smut. This will be a slow burn type of story. Read at your own risk.

Chapter Quote: You meeting someone?

It had been three months since I left Dieter behind. All things considered, I felt like I had handled it well. Most days I managed to get through my routine without thinking of him, throwing myself into work and small craft projects. The paparazzi appeared to have gotten bored with following me around since there was no story to report on. I wouldn’t interact with them and there had been no sightings of Dieter and I together. The assumption was that we had split, and any drama related to said split had passed. Not having the paps shouting questions and sticking a camera in my face on my daily commute to the office made a huge difference in keeping him off my mind.

Staying away from social media and tabloid sites had also been crucial in being able to get back to some kind of normalcy. It had become vital to keep this distance, because Dieter was all over the news feeds due to his reinvigorated party boy ways. He didn’t seem like the same person anymore and it was too painful to see it over and over. As far as I knew he hadn’t been home during any of his filming breaks, and with the production of his movie wrapping up soon, I was anxious to know if he would finally come back to LA. Part of that anxiety was rooted in my concern about running into him. No matter how many times I had tried to imagine it, I wasn’t sure how I would handle suddenly being face-to-face with him again.

I would be lying if I said that I was over him. There was no doubt in my mind that I will always love him. How could I not? He had changed me for the better and helped me through a rough time in my life. During the time that we had been together, and he had been doing well, life had been so much more fulfilling. He showed me what it was like to be loved and appreciated. What it meant to be truly happy. Perhaps even more than that, he had given me the confidence to be myself. I could honestly say that I didn’t know any of that until him. I was able to acknowledge that he did all that for me, but at the same time I had also become mostly numb about it all. Maybe it was the anger, maybe it was denial, or maybe I had figured out how to move on without him. Either way, I felt like I was going to be ok, and I had accepted that he wasn’t going to be a part of my life anymore.

It was late on a Wednesday evening when I got news that he was back. Lauren texted me to let me know he had been spotted at one of the fancy restaurants that all the celebrities tended to hang out at. Unsurprisingly, he had been there with Anna and a handful of other people. I had asked Lauren not to tell me anything she read about him, but I still found myself grateful to get the warning. At least now I was aware that there was a possibility of running into him, so it wouldn’t catch me completely off guard. What I didn’t realize is how soon that would happen.

The following morning, I was surprised to receive a call from Ethan Carrington. He called to let me know that he was in town and wanted to have dinner to catch up. I thought it was a little odd, but he was one of our top tier clients, so I agreed to meet him that evening. I wasn’t surprised when he proposed meeting at one of the most upscale restaurants in town. We made plans to meet there by 7 PM and he let me know a table had already been reserved under his name.

To say I was flustered by the time I left the house was an understatement. All my afternoon meetings had run over, causing me to finish up work much later than I had planned. I had to rush to find something to wear, then shower, and get ready. To save some time, rather than trying to tame my hair, I blow dried it and pulled it back into a sleek low bun, then threw on a light layer of makeup. I got dressed in a navy sleeveless scoop neck A-line chiffon dress that had an asymmetrical bottom and was embellished with a sash around the waist. I dug out my matching navy peep toe high heels with ankle straps to wear, then quickly grabbed my purse and walked barefooted to the car.

With traffic slowing me down as usual, I made it to the restaurant with only minutes to spare. Luckily it had valet parking, so I didn’t have to worry about finding a spot. I did feel slightly embarrassed about making the valet wait while I put my shoes on. He assured me that this wasn’t even close to the strangest thing he dealt with, and we had a good laugh about it as he waited patiently for me to exit the vehicle.

As I was walking up the few steps to the entrance, carefully watching my feet to avoid tripping in my hurried pace, I was stopped in my tracks by a set of feet that had come to a standstill directly in front of me. When I looked up, my breath caught in my throat. Dieter and Anna stood in front of me, staring back at me and saying nothing. Dieter looked tired, the telltale sign of dark circles under his eyes revealing his sleep problems were probably still very present. His hair was longer than it had been the last time I saw him, and it was styled into soft, messy curls. He was dressed in charcoal dress pants with a black button up dress shirt. As usual, the top button was open, and the sleeves were rolled up. He also had his glasses on. A little voice in the back of my mind begrudgingly pointed out that he looked just as sexy as always. Still, something was off about him; it was clear in his fidgety body language, and particularly the turbulent look in his eyes.

My eyes widened as I took him in, my body almost reeling just as strongly as my mind did. “Dieter…umm hi,” I stuttered out. I was startled by his sudden appearance and did not know what to say or how to act. His stare shifted into an unsettling smirk, his dilated pupils making his eyes look darker than usual, and by the way he tipped his head back slightly I could tell that he shifted into performance mode, emitting a boisterous energy that became even clearer when he spoke.

“I’m surprised to see you at a place like this. You meeting someone?”

His tone sounded heavy, maybe even a little hostile. Ah, so that’s how this was going to go.

“Yes, I am.” I inhaled deeply and straightened my shoulders, unwilling to play whatever game he was trying to set up here.

“A guy?” He stared directly into my eyes as he spoke, unblinking, and it struck me how empty the expression on his face was. It was almost like he wasn’t in there and someone else was pulling his strings.

“Not that it’s really any of your business, but yes. It’s a guy.” I didn’t break eye contact, hoping that I was able to keep a neutral expression on my face. All of it felt like a test, but I wasn’t quite sure if I wanted to show him that I could easily pass it. Maybe the best response was no response at all.

He pursed his lips and arched his eyebrows before he shook his head, his eyes shifting downcast momentarily before he looked back up at me. Straightening up as he gathered his composure.

“Well, I hope you get to know this one a little better before jumping into bed with him. Assuming he goes for this whole… polished stepford wife look or whatever this is,” he said, his voice having just the slightest slur to it.

I could feel my jaw tighten, my eyes blazing with anger that his words suddenly re-kindled in me. I gave him a tight smile in return.

“Hmm,” I said, shaking my head slightly from side to side as I rubbed the fingers of my right hand across my bottom lip in disgust. He continued to stare at me expectantly, clearly wanting a response, and I had to look away for a moment before I met his intense gaze again. “I see what you’re doing, you know. Don’t worry, it’s still working.” I paused briefly, “So, fuck you.”

“Ooh, you already did that, sweetheart. A whole fuckin’ lot.” He gave me a cunning smile, teeth bared for a moment as there was nothing friendly or sweet about it.

I could feel my face tensing further at his combative remarks. I knitted my brows together and shook my head from side to side again. He was clearly trying to piss me off, and it was working. He knew exactly what to say to push my buttons. I wasn’t even going to attempt to understand why he was being like this, it simply hurt too much. I didn’t want to engage in an argument. I just wanted to protect myself from more pain.

Anna chuckled as she leaned in to break the intense stare that I was giving Dieter, “Damn, you’re a feisty one, aren’t you.”

I gave her a tight smile wrapped up in thinly veiled contempt. “I suggest that you don’t fucking speak to me,” I said very quietly, for a moment actually entertaining the thought of punching her in her smug little face.

She backed away slightly and grabbed onto Dieter’s arm, moving so that he was positioned between us. Clearly, my intimidation attempt struck its mark with her.

My attention was drawn away from them when I heard someone call my name. When I turned, I saw Carrington walking towards me from the entrance of the restaurant. Trying to shift gears, I tried to relax my face and gave him a polite smile as he approached. He looked like he had just stepped off the set of a James Bond film in the expensive tailored suit he was wearing, oozing confidence, and looking just as handsome as I remembered.

“There you are, I was beginning to think you stood me up,” he said with a joking tone as he leaned in to give me a small kiss on the cheek. “You look nice,” he added as he pulled away with a wide smile on his face, his eyes warm as he gave me a quick once-over.

“Ethan, thank you! Sorry, I was just catching up with some friends,” I said dryly, glancing back toward Dieter, who was now radiating disdain. His jaw twitched as glared at Carrington, his eyes narrowing and somehow turning even darker as he glanced at Carrington’s hand that now rested on the small of my back. Correcting himself, his eyes quickly moved back up to meet my gaze.

I didn’t flinch as we locked eyes and spoke up, “I guess I’ll see you around. Have a good evening.”

I gave them both a sarcastic smile. Carrington’s hand stayed on my lower back as he guided me toward the entrance. I may not have wanted to engage in the game that Dieter seemed to play, but part of me enjoyed that it clearly bothered him to see me with another man. A handsome one at that. Even if it was a work meeting, which he didn’t know.

As we were being led to our table, I had to take a few deep breaths to calm myself. I wasn’t even upset about seeing Dieter, only livid about his attitude and the way he had spoken to me. The waiter seated Carrington and I next to a window toward the front of the restaurant, handing us the menus which we looked at in a comfortable silence. From the corner of my eye, I could see Dieter and Anna were still outside, waiting for their car. She was on her phone, but he had spotted me through the window and just stood there, staring with his hands pushed into his pockets. I tried not to look directly toward him, but that didn’t stop me from peeking over my menu every so often to see if he was still there. Despite all the bravado that had been there earlier, and the confidence with which he had carried himself, he looked like a broken man now. It tugged at my heartstrings as I wished I knew what was going through his mind. I could tell the cocky front he was putting up had diminished to something that resembled hurt or maybe even regret. All the showmanship had left his stance as he seemed to be unaware of what happened around him, Anna even needing to pull him aside when someone tried to walk past them. Luckily, the valet pulled up with their car right after that, so I didn’t have to endure that sight for very long.

Carrington’s voice tugged me back into the present and out of my thoughts when he spoke up, “I would ask how you’ve been, but I think I may have a general idea of the answer.”

He gave me a sympathetic look before continuing, “That was him, wasn’t it?”

I smiled nervously as I glanced down at the table, wondering how much he knew. Probably everything there was to know publicly, be it true or false, “Yes, that was him.” I nodded as I looked back up at him, finding his eyes were as gentle as his voice had been when asking me the question. “I’m sorry my drama made me late and that everyone across the US knows about it, apparently.”

“Yeah, it was all over the news.” He seemed apologetic about it. “Hard to miss. I wasn’t sure if you needed rescuing or not, so I’m sorry if I interrupted something…”

“Not that I need rescuing…but thank you for that.”

He laughed, “Yeah, I doubt you do. You're pretty fierce on your own.”

His eyes stayed focused on my face, briefly dropping down to my lips when I smiled at his comment. I wasn’t sure how to take that, but I felt like he was possibly flirting. We were interrupted by the server coming over to take our order.

We proceeded with small talk while we waited for our food. He gave me an update on how the company was doing and mentioned the possibility of expanding soon, staying vague on the details. As we chatted, I noticed how attentive he was. Always looking me directly in the eye as I spoke, gesturing subtly to the waiter when he noticed I was low on water. We hadn’t really had a chance to interact outside of a business setting, so it was interesting to see him in a more personal manner and have an easy conversation. I was getting small glimpses of his personality that I hadn’t picked up on before. He was very witty and had a good sense of humor.

Once we started to dig into the main course, he got down to business.

“Well, I think we’ve run the gambit on small talk. I guess I should get to the reason I wanted to meet with you and stop beating around the bush.” He gave me a nervous smile. I gave him one in return, unsure of where this was going.

“I talked to Aubrey about this, and she indicated that you may be open to a change, given recent events and she’s supportive of it.” He gave me a small grimace, realizing that may not have been the best opener.

I smiled and motioned for him to continue.

“Our Chief Operating Officer will be retiring soon, and we’ll need a replacement. You’re the first person that came to mind for the position. I know, it’s a big change, so I don’t expect an answer now. I do, however, want to let you know that it’ll be a significant raise and we’ll cover the cost of any moving expenses and travel.”

Whatever I had been expecting from the meeting, this wasn’t it. He had my attention. “How significant?”

“Seven figures, significant.” He gave me a smirk as my eyes widened.

“COO…I mean, am I even qualified for that?” I laughed in disbelief.

“Well, you’re already basically telling me how to run my company and saved me a lot of money in the process. I’ve seen you in action. You have a brilliant mind, and your problem-solving skills are unlike anything I’ve ever seen. You’re also really good at handling difficult situations. Why wouldn’t I want that?”

He wasn’t wrong, he was indeed running his company based on my suggestions. I shook my head in agreement.

“It would require moving to New York though?” I asked, trying to process the information and what this all would mean for my future.

“Yes…and no. I would absolutely love for you to join us in New York. In fact, it’s my preference. However, like I said, we’re planning to expand. We’ll be opening another branch in Silicon Valley. I’ll need a COO there as well. Just know that if you choose that location, you’ll be building from the ground up. You’ll be fully involved with all planning. It’ll require you to spend some time in New York while we work out the details, but once everything is set, you would only need to travel occasionally. It also comes with slightly higher pay due to the extra work that’ll be involved.”

This time I sat with my mouth hanging open in shock, “I don’t even know what to say.”

“I don’t expect an answer right away. We have some time before I need to know.”

“I mean, it’s not a no. Umm, but I do have a lot to think through.” I reached for my water, taking a deep drink now that my mouth suddenly felt very dry.

“Of course, I wouldn’t expect anything else,” He took a bite of his food as he studied me, obviously trying to figure out where I stood on the offer.

He continued to tell me about the many benefits the company offered. He was trying his best to sell it to me. The offer was appealing and something I really needed to consider. We eventually moved on to other non-business related topics. It was nice getting to know him on a more personal level. Time seemed to fly by as we continued to chat, even after our meal was finished.

We finally decided to call it a night after he insisted on covering the bill. We walked out to collect our vehicles. While we waited, he leaned in to give me a polite goodbye kiss on the cheek, lingering slightly longer than what is socially acceptable. I got a whiff of his musky scent. I couldn’t deny, he smelled amazing. I cleared my throat as he pulled away, trying to correct my train of thought.

He smiled sheepishly, “Sorry, I lingered. I made it awkward. Forget that happened.”

We both laughed. I caught myself biting my bottom lip, which seemed to briefly bring his attention back to my mouth again. Fuck. Was I flirting now? Thankfully, we were interrupted by the valet returning with his vehicle. Mine followed behind a few seconds later.

“We’ll talk soon. Have a good evening,” he finally said as he took his keys and walked toward the driver's side door, giving a charming smile as he went. I agreed and gave him a wave as I collected my keys and moved toward my own car.

My head was reeling during the entire drive home. I wasn’t sure what just happened, and I had conflicting feelings about the whole thing. Did we have vibes? Were we flirting? Also, what the hell was wrong with me for allowing that to happen? There was no way I could work for him under those circumstances. Not to mention what had happened with Dieter and Anna. I needed to talk through this with Lauren.

When I got home, I quickly changed into my pajamas, then facetimed Lauren. She didn’t answer. I gave it a few minutes then tried again. She answered on the second round, a surprised look clearly visible on her face despite the dim lighting around her.

“Talia? Something wrong? Why are you calling me back-to-back?”

“For starters, you signed up for excessive calls when you decided to be my friend,” I reminded her. “Also, don’t get me started on your texting habits.”

“Okay, what the hell has gotten into you?” She laughed as she shook her head, leaning behind her to switch a lamp on, which illuminated the view on my screen considerably.

“You’re not going to believe how my night has gone. I’m turning the tables; I’m the one that needs life advice.”

She had an odd look on her face and seemed to be distracted, her eyes trailing off as she looked at something off camera.

“Hello? Did you hear me?” I was pacing around my bedroom by this point, bursting to spill all the details of what had happened.

“Yeah, sorry, I heard you. What’s going on?” She seemed to have her focus back on me now.

I went into all the details of how the evening had gone from start to finish as I continued to pace around my room. I was feeling flustered and anxious about the whole thing the more I thought about it. I wasn’t even sure how to begin to make a decision about the job offer and I was completely avoiding my thoughts on Dieter. While his behavior pissed me off to no end, I couldn’t help but feel hurt all over again. Which was a feeling I didn’t want to acknowledge out of fear that it would send me spiraling all over again.

Lauren sat staring at her phone, wide-eyed. She looked overwhelmed with the word vomit I had just thrown her way.

“Ok, I need a minute to digest all of that,” she finally said. Her attention was again drawn to something else as an exasperated look formed on her face.

“What the hell are you doing over there? Is somebody there?”

“NO! No, it’s…” She appeared to swat at something before she continued, “it’s a cat. I have a cat. A stray. It’s not staying. It’s kind of an annoying jerk,” she said with a nervous laugh. I wasn’t sure if I bought that. I gave her a skeptical look.

“So, Dieter really said all of that to you? Seriously?” she asked, quickly changing the subject.

“Yes, he did. He was a total asshole. He looked like he was on something. He’s like a completely different person.” I shook my head in disbelief.

“Did you ever consider that maybe he’s trying to piss you off on purpose? To push you away?”

She had a sympathetic look on her face now.

“Oh, I know he was trying to do it on purpose. I know him well enough to know when he’s putting on a show. He’s just not usually so cruel about it. I don’t know why he’s being like that.” I shrugged, unsure of what else to say.

“Maybe you should try talking to him again. He’s kind of hardheaded. Perhaps putting some pressure on him might bring him back to his senses.”

“No, you know what, let’s just not focus on him.” I paused briefly, shaking my head again, “I don’t even want to think about him. He’s made it clear how he feels.”

“You can’t avoid it forever.” She gave me a pointed look.

I threw my hand up in frustration as I rolled my eyes, “I’m not avoiding it. I’m accepting the reality of the situation.”

Lauren rolled her eyes in return, “No, you're locking all those feelings away in a secret room in that pretty little head of yours and pretending they don’t exist. I know how you are. You’re both so fucking stubborn.”

I was taken aback by how blunt she was being. That was usually my role.

“Ok, whatever. Can we talk about Carrington now? What should I do about that? I mean, if I take the position in Silicon Valley, I wouldn’t really have to see him once things got settled. So, if there were vibes, it would be a non-issue, right?” I drew my brows down together as I contemplated that choice.

Lauren sighed heavily before she responded, “Look, I can’t tell you what to do about that. All I can say is don’t make a choice based on a man. Any man. You’ve wasted too much of your life doing that. Don’t take the job just because you want to get away from Dieter and don’t not take it because this Carrington guy may or may not have been flirting with you. You do what you want, then we will deal with what comes after.”

She was very matter of fact in her response. Even though that wasn’t the answer I wanted, I knew she was right. I needed to remove the men from the equation and figure out what I really wanted. Lauren spoke up again, pulling me from my thoughts, “Sorry to cut it short, but I gotta go. I need to feed this cat, so he’ll chill out.” She was fighting a smile.

“Why do I feel like you're talking in code about something else?” I gave her a confused look as she started to laugh.

“Oh, gotta go. We'll talk tomorrow. Bye.”

She did not even give me a chance to say bye before hanging up, “What the hell was that about?” I shook my head as I set my phone down on the docking station. There was definitely something going on; her behavior during the call was kind of bizarre, so was the excuse about the stray cat. As if I needed something else to wonder about.

I decided to finish getting ready for bed after that. Even though my mind was racing with so many different thoughts brought on by the day’s events, I was happy to settle in for the night. I laid there for some time, waiting for the melatonin to kick in. It seemed like it took a little longer than normal, but sleep did finally take me.

Two weeks after my dinner with Carrington, I still hadn’t decided. Luckily, he was understanding and said I still had some time to think about it. Lauren was still being weird and dodging questions. I had reached a point that I didn’t care what she was up to. If she wanted me to know, she would tell me. I already had too many things on my plate to worry about. Of course, the universe still wasn’t satisfied with my long list of troubles and decided to add to it.

I was sitting on the couch, attempting to read a book in between my spells of wandering thoughts, when the doorbell rang. To my surprise, it was Gabby. We hadn’t talked at all since news got out that Dieter and I were no longer together. She would send the occasional text to check in on me, but that’s it. Honestly, it was too hard for me to talk to her. It only made me miss him and the life we were building together even more.

Gabby greeted me with a tight hug. When she pulled away, I could see the worry in her eyes.

“I’m sorry to just barge in on you, but I wanted to talk to you in person.”

She gave me a nervous smile as I waved her in and led her over to sit on the couch. She had a tentative look on her face as she asked me how I was doing.

“I’m actually ok. I’ve just been keeping busy and focusing on work mostly.” It was hard to meet her gaze, because I knew that if I did, I wouldn’t be able to hold it together. Her eyes reminded me of her brother’s, which seemed to unearth the raw emotion that I had managed to keep locked away thus far. It was all simmering under the surface for me, and I knew it wouldn’t take much for it to start peeking its ugly little head out of its hidden room.

“Have you seen any of the gossip sites lately?” She started to rub her hands against her thighs, clearly nervous to bring up the topic of her brother.

“Uhm, no. I try to avoid all that stuff these days. I don’t want to know what your brother is up to.” My chest tightened at the mere thought of him. I rubbed my shoulder with my right hand, trying to remain calm and grounded. It was impossible though.

Gabby sighed heavily, “Talia, it’s getting bad,” she said, and I could hear how upset she was. “Every other night he’s out partying with Anna, and he’s gotten into several confrontations with random people at bars and clubs. He isn’t acting like himself at all. I think he’s using something, but I don’t know what it is. We tried to talk to him about it and now he won’t even speak to us. I’m really worried about him.”

I could feel her eyes on me as I stared at a random painting on the wall. Focusing on the swirls of color and different brush strokes to distract myself from what I was feeling.

“I’m not sure why you’re telling me this. I can’t do anything about it. He’s made it pretty clear how he feels.”

“I don’t know what his fucking problem is, but he loves you. I know he does. We could all see it. I think he would listen to you if you would just talk to him.” She had an edge to her voice as she spoke. She never took her eyes off me. I briefly glanced over at her. The fear in her eyes nearly broke me. I could feel the tears forming in my eyes as I looked back toward the painting.

“I tried Gabby. The night he called and ended it... I had a flight booked for the next day and he told me not to come. He lost his shit when I asked him if he was on drugs. He doesn’t want to talk to me.”

She reached over and grabbed my hand, squeezing it tightly, “You should have gone anyway. I really think if he sees you in person, he’ll listen.”

“I saw him… Two weeks ago. He was an asshole and made it pretty clear that he didn’t want to speak to me.”

I let out a shuddered breath as I looked down at our hands. Telling her that I couldn’t do anything to stop her brother from hurting himself was one of the hardest things I had ever had to do.

“Maybe if we all tried. I’m pretty sure he has blocked everyone at this point, but we could all show up at his house and talk to him.” Her voice was strained. I could tell she was trying to keep her emotions in check as much as I was.

“Gabby, I just don’t think you can help someone who doesn’t want to be helped.”

I looked up at her and watched as she knitted her brows together at my words. A mixture of frustration and anguish written all over her face.

“You’re not even gonna try?”

“I can’t,” I said quietly. The tears finally spilled down my cheeks.

She shook her head from side to side, not understanding where I was coming from.

“Why not?”

“Because…if I give in, he’ll completely consume me. And if I can’t get through to him, then you’ll lose both of us. I know I won’t be able to come back from it and that scares the hell out of me.”

I could see the fight drain out of her body as she took in what I was saying. I cleared my throat.

“I guess I should probably tell you, I’ve uhm...been offered another job. I have a choice of going to New York or Silicon Valley. I haven’t made my final decision yet, but I’m leaning toward accepting one of them.”

She couldn’t hold back her tears any longer, “You guys are really over, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I think so.” I shook my head in agreement. The tears were now blurring my vision as I felt my face tighten. I gave up on trying to hold it back. She pulled me in for another tight hug.

“I want you to know that I still consider you to be part of this family. I don’t want you to forget that. I’m still holding out hope that fate will bring you guys back together somehow. I’m convinced you two are meant to be.”

I pulled away, giving her a small smile as I thanked her for being there for me when she didn’t have to be. She left soon after that with promises to keep in touch. After she was gone, I laid down on the couch. I stared at the ceiling for who knows how long, completely disassociating. Once I finally came back to my thoughts, I couldn’t help but to question every decision I was making. I felt lost and now I had the added concerns of Dieter’s wellbeing. I had managed to ignore that piece of the puzzle thus far by isolating myself from the knowledge of what he was doing. Now that I was aware, it was going to be hard continuing to ignore it.

A/N: Happy Friday y'all! How are we feeling about asshole Dieter? That was some seriously rude things to say to poor Talia. How about that dinner with Carrington and his offer (and maybe flirting)? And what the hell is Lauren up to? Also, Gabby is seriously breaking my heart right now. So, just another warning...the next chapter is going to be A LOT. When I say they hit rock bottom, I mean it. It's all (slowly) uphill after that though... Chapter 24 is complete and currently with my beta. I'll post the teaser on Monday. The chapter will come as soon as we are done with final edits. 💜

Lastly, everyone give a big thank you to @for-a-longlongtime for her excellent beta skills. She never fails to take things up a notch.

Sound off about your thoughts and feelings for this chapter. You know it gives me life. 😉 As usual, I have included the mood board for this chapter below.

Next Chapter

Tag List: @rhoorl @bitchwitch1981 @readingiskeepingmegoing @runningmom94 @for-a-longlongtime @hisandsnakes @chaoticfestninja @survivingandenduring @partyofone3413 @cakipy-blog @titlee78 @poodlebae @guelyury @weho2kcmo @missladym1981 @maried01 @alokaerza @samiamproductions @misstokyo7love @themonadiaries-blog @madnessofadaydreamer @pedrostories

Let me know in the comments below if you would like to be added to the tag list.

#dieter bravo #dieter x ofc #dieter bravo fic #Destiny & Deliverance Series #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #dieter bravo x ofc #pedro pascal character fanfic #pedro pascal fanfiction #Pedro Pascal Fanfic #dieter bravo x oc #dieter bravo fluff #dieter bravo fanfiction #pedro pascal smut #the bubble #the bubble fanfiction

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unbidden-yidden · 2 months

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Jewish Song of the Day #28: Arbeter Froyen

youtube

Comments:

Okay so this is not my usual thing, but huge shout-out @vaguelybinary for suggesting this one because it sent me down a super fascinating history rabbit hole.

This song's lyrics showcase a Yiddish poem-turned-class struggle song, and this is a modern adaptation of that song.

It also combines themes of socialist feminism with the ideals of the Yiddish Labour Bund.

Anyway, I haven't posted nearly enough klezmer and Daniel Kahn is the musical brilliance behind the Yiddish version of Cohen's Hallelujah.

(And I've also stayed pretty religious in my posts, with very few secular songs. To wit, I mostly do not listen to secular music, so this suggestion was especially helpful.)

So here you go! Enjoy some klezmer, Jewish history, and a fully contemporary message of solidarity with women as workers!

#jumblr #jewish music #Jewish Song of the Day #side note: I have a hard time fully classifying my politics #and am deeply skeptical of viewing any one ideology as a complete answer #however 1) worker solidarity forever 2) I will always be a feminist and love feminist music‚ and 3) I love things that challenge me

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k-marzolf · 7 months

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Providence.

A Monsters in the Dark drabble.

((blood, canon typical violence, anti religious sentiment, religious imagery, mentions of Billy’s assault by Arthur, abandonment issues, idolatry, fem!reader))

A little dark, I guess. But I was feeling dark.

Monsters in the Dark Masterlist.

&&&&

If you are the dealer, I’m out of the game.

If you are the healer it means I’m broken and lame.

If thine is the glory, then mine must be the shame.

—Leonard Cohen, You Want It Darker.

Billy had learned long ago God didn’t exist, and if He did, then He didn’t care what happened to him, or about his suffering.

Billy had survived because of himself, not because of providence or some shit. He’d defended himself against Arthur, an eleven year old boy fighting against a predator. No one went after Arthur, either. “Just a misunderstandin’,” he'd said. A misunderstanding that left Billy’s shoulder ruined.

He’d built Anvil from the ground up himself. With blood, sweat, and tears, even though he’d been orphaned, with virtually nothing.

He moved through the underground facility, hearing his men shouting, and gunshots ringing out. He looked around the corner, shooting a man that was coming at him with a knife, but he didn’t die easily.

Billy unsheathed his hidden blade, running the man through, feeling his blade cut through flesh and bone, and sinew.

Billy had seen a lot of death, and realized everyone was equal in death, everyone eventually faced it, and no one was above it.

Death was the only god, and He did not discriminate.

But when Billy looked at you he saw salvation. He brought your fingers up to kiss each one, his hands were stained with blood, but you looked past the bloody carnage of his own making.

You saw God, as you moved closer to him, eyes soft and looking at him like he imagined Penelope did when she saw Odysseus, devoted and in love.

Yours was the only salvation he desired.

Tags: @idaofinfinity @e-dubbc11 @rosaleenablack @firexfate @aoi-targaryen

#billy russo #billy russo x reader

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kermitgasm · 10 months

Note

are there any songs you think they should bring back for the setlist or a song you wish they would play live?

also which live performances are your favorite? (you could even go by era cuz i think each era is pretty unique)

ok so i need to start this off by saying BRING POOL BACK IMMEDIATELY!! please with the intro and everything. it’s just so fucking good. next up, which i know might be controversial, but i’d love to hear fences live once (i would watch this video all the time when i was younger, it just seems like a lot of fun). i always think it sounds so cool. and then obviously i’m on my knees screaming and crying for them to bring back Let The Flames Begin / Part II, which i know they’re probably sick of but it always turned out so good!!! and Turn It Off & Careful are my #1 picks. like, genuinely I need to hear them live or else. Also, Sugar on the Rim.

anyways i used to be better at pinpointing my favorite performances because i would watch them to a point where it was super concerning, now i’m a bit more mellow about it. however, since you asked i will attempt to deliver. just for you, dear anon.

this is in no particular order or anything, basically i’m just going off what i remember really saying damn this is good about (which is super easy when you love a band like paramore).

First off let’s start with the Miracle Outro performed during Brand New Eyes era. this song just goes so fucking hard and i curse Josh Farro for the fact that he wrote it so they couldn’t record it and release it since he left the band soon thereafter.

Paramore at Wembley Arena in 2009 — This concert is so good. like thank god this person filmed it and decided to upload it to youtube. I cannot get enough of Intro / Ignorance. truly.

RTMorasonMD had a great full concert vid from 2010, the sound quality is great for 2010 too. considering most of the time videos look like they were filmed with an nintendo D.S..

Paramore at The House of Blues in Anaheim, California (2006) this is like nostalgia city for me. I remember running my old paramore fan account on instagram and stumbling on this and being like… i’ve hit the paramore jackpot. shout out to Paramore History for always posting the real hard to find stuff… where would we be without you?

When Paramore performed Careful at Warped Tour in 2011 or like the whole Warped Tour Set — i will say this over and over again on this post but i have to be real with you when i say, i watched these videos so much it’s crazy. but careful was my favorite. i love careful. any performance or careful and i’m there.

Paramore live in Paris (2013) when i tell you i watched this religiously i mean it. i could probably do all the dance moves / movements hayley did in this specific video way back when. i was obsessed.

Paramore performing Let The Flames Begin / Part II at Bunbury in Cincinnati (2014) i just love this one. like all of these are just nostalgic for me and i can’t help but want to show you.

When Paramore performed Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen and then it went into Hallelujah by Paramore (lol) at Parahoy (2016). What a way to open the show. i mean, i remember watching the final riot and being totally in love with Hayley’s voice and the way she sang it. I think I was introduced to Hallelujah by Shrek but Paramore was the second one to show me the ways of Leonard Cohen. Thanks for that.

I Caught Myself in Hamburg (2017) is an obvious one but I feel like I had to mention it… the emotion Hayley fucking pours into this performance makes me want to cry.

Turn It Off live from Grand Casino in Hickley, MN (2017) we’ve all seen this one i think? but what an incredibly breath taking performance of turn it off. i mean.. damn.

Fake Happy performed at Rock for People in the Czech Republic (2017) the quality is insane for this one. I remember being totally obsessed with this. so i’m adding it here; to share with you.

Pool / Idle Worship in Paris (2018) something must be in the water when they go to paris because i love these videos.

Pool live in Amsterdam (2018) is another one that came to mind cuz the sound quality goes crazy. it’s just beautiful.

The full 2018 RED ROCKS show because the sound is great and i just remembered being obsessed with this. you’re kinda cracking my head open like an egg with this ask and i love it.

Paramore at Concrete Street Amphitheater (2018) incredible footage, incredible show.

Simmer live in Bakersfield (2022) i have to add this because she’s gone too soon. like they should be performing this one nonstop. but i also understand crystal clear is a bop so it’s fine… i’m fine. PLAY SUGAR ON THE RIM OR ELSE!!!

Crystal Clear debut in Dublin / Dreams (the cranberries cover) (2023) I mean….. we all know about the Dreams cover but I just have to add it here because wow. i love it. it’s incredible. and the crystal clear debut is just insane because the person filming that knew what they were doing. High Quality to the MAX baby.

Crave / Outro live at The O2 in London (2023) I mean I just love this video. like, what’s not to love.

Speaking of quality, this video of You First performed in Cleveland Ohio (2023) is available to watch in 2610p60, which basically means it’s better than your eyeballs. incredible stuff. just insane.

there’s probably a whole lot more i can’t think of at the moment, maybe i’ll make a list eventually. but i hope you like this in the mean time. ❤️ thanks for sending me this ask and letting me talk about my favorite band. send me an ask anytime (goes for everyone, i love this).

#thank you angel! i love being sent asks. the more the merrier #ask ivie #paramore

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fipindustries · 6 months

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im going to speak about the vampair series for a quick sec here, i know i never bring it up but unsurprisingly i am a huge fan of it, and specially of daria cohen, is no surprise she was a main animator in the hazbin hotel pilot, she did basically the same thing vivziepop did with hazbin hotel which is grab a style and aesthetic which is very much of its time, that hot topicky, tim burton-esque, deviant art era gothic story and manage to carry it all the way through to today and build a genuine IP that reached the mayor leagues (she got multiple shout outs by actual voltaire! what the fuck!!!)

but anyway, leaving all that aside, the thing i wanted to talk about is the last few videos and how they hilariously put into context the count within the vampire community.

at first one thinks of the count as this "Vampyr", right? this old ancient, powerful, evil force of darkness who has centuries on his back, tomes of forbidden lore, and a big mansion with thousands of spookums and secrets and curses hidden in every corner.

then it turns out he is like, what, 25 years old? at most? he seems to have ran away from home as a teenager, in relatively modern times judging by the clothes, and then he got immediatly turned into a vampire. so he is just a kid, first and foremost.

but on top of that he seems to be a kid that kind of chose to stay apart from the rest of the vampire community after seeing all the fighting and the killing that goes on. so he is not even really bloodthirsty or gunning for blood and violence.

and then you see how other vampires dress and are styled and how they carry themselves compared with him and there is this sense that while the others are dressed stylishly and practical, he is very much cosplaying being a vampire

he is just a nerdy loner weirdo (not even that particularly evil, just kind of a creep) even amongst vampires, who just wants to stay at his mannor and be a spooky vampire and ignore all the silly politics and drama of the vampire world. the guy just wants to hang out in hell and have sex with zombies and get into ridiculous toxic fights with his situashionship. and somehow he came across this super powerful magic artifact that lets him do just that.

i love him so much

#the vampair series #daria cohen #shes such an inspiration to me

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eretzyisrael · 3 months

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by Ben Cohen

Police in London on Monday arrested a man who attempted to carry out a knife attack on employees of a kosher supermarket in the heavily Jewish Golders Green section of the British capital.

Video of the attempted assault filmed by witnesses showed the 34-year-old man grappling with two employees outside the store as voices off-camera shouted the warning “He’s got a knife!” in Hebrew.

Ignoring appeals to “go away” and “calm down,” the man began swinging a kitchen knife with a large blade as the employees attempted to fend him off by pushing a shopping cart in his way.

“I told Shomrim to come, but I didn’t see he had a knife,” one employee can be heard saying, referring to a voluntary communal organization that assists victims of antisemitic violence.

The same employee is then heard on the phone making an emergency call to the police. “Somebody outside our store has got a knife,” he is heard saying. As the assailant departs the scene, the employee adds, “He’s going up Hamilton Road. Urgent, urgent.”

The assailant, who has not been named, was later subdued by police officers and Shomrim volunteers and placed under arrest on suspicion of possession of an offensive weapon, criminal damage and racially-aggravated assault.

#jewish golders green #london #terrorist #shomrim

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modern-day-bard · 3 months

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Worth The Feeling

Content Warning: 18+

This story includes explicit smut, intimidation, and an age gap relationship (MC is 26, Pedro is in his 40s). Minors, do not interact.

Chapter 6

"Not nearly sexy enough. Are you serious, Ava?" Lana scolds me via Facetime.

"Are you serious? This is the tightest top I own!" I shimmy in front of the phone, trying to showcase just how skintight this red top really was.

"You know what I want you to wear. And it's definitely not a top and jeans." She says that last part like I suggested wearing a football jersey and Crocs.

"Lana, that dress is from the Chasing Trains wrap party. You know, when we were all sweating our asses off in Nevada? The lack of fabric was a necessity. Here it will just look...slutty."

"What's wrong with that?" I hear Mia shout in the background.

"Mia! You're supposed to be on my side." I whine.

"I'm on whatever side gets you some action, baby." Mia appears behind Lana and gives a wink to the phone.

"Shut up. You two are going to make me sweat."

"In that case, you better wear the Chasing Trains dress."

Lana had me there.

Thirty minutes later, I had applied lipstick, smoothed my hair, and reluctantly put on the dress. We decided that with a jacket, the dress wasn't as slutty as it was at the wrap party. Which disappointed the girls, but pleased me.

Javi had texted me the name of the restaurant. A perk of working somewhere that a call sheet exists: we didn't have to do an awkward phone number exchange. He had also insisted, back when we were by his trailer, that he pick me up. I told him the restaurant was way closer to his hotel than it was to my apartment, so it just made sense for me to meet him there. He looked like he wanted to argue, but I had the sense that he didn't want to say anything that would make me back out.

As my taxi rounds the next street corner, I can tell I'm almost there. My hands start to shake. I'm starting to wish that I'd thought this through more. I didn't ask anyone on set if that would be inappropriate, because frankly, I wasn't even sure this was a date. Despite Lana's enthusiasm, Javi hadn't called it a date. For all I know, I could show up and four other cast members could be there. He could have felt bad for me, or simply wanted to grow his acquaintances in L.A. I try to push down that idea.

When the taxi stops outside of The Little Door, I know it's time to put up or shut up. I pay the fare, and ignore my shaking hands as I open the door. Stepping out into the night air, I'm surprised by the archway of the restaurant. It looks like bamboo, and I have a small moment of panic that I'm overdressed. That is, until I spot Javi leaning next to the doors, wearing dress pants and a crisp white button down. His sleeves are rolled up, revealing part of his toned forearms. That is not helping my shaky hands.

"Wow," he says gesturing to my outfit, "I mean, I'm a fan of the t-shirts. But this is nice too."

I feel my face flush. He's right in front of me now, and even my heels, I'm not in his direct eye-line. That should ease some of my nerves. The full intensity of his gaze is always too much for me.

"Didn't know that PAs owned heels, huh?" My voice is surprisingly calm.

He smirks.

"Shall we?" Javi holds out his hand, and I take it gingerly. His hands are warm and dry. They send a calming sensation to my shaking hands all the way to my irregular heart.

He leads me through the arches into the most romantic restaurant I've ever seen. I've heard people mention The Little Door, but I've never been able to see it for myself. With the string lights and the rounded door frames, it was beautiful.

"Mr. Gutierrez, Miss Cohen," a short brunette greets us warmly, "right this way."

The hostess already knows who we are?

She leads us out back to the patio that holds even more charm with dangling plants and candlelight tables. Javi holds out my chair for me, which takes me by surprise. At twenty-six years old, this is a first.

It takes me a minute to adjust when he sits across from me. His brown eyes glow even warmer in the candlelight, and he looks, well, straight out of a romantic movie. It occurs to me then, how many people around us might recognize him from one of his movies. I glance around at the crowded patio.

"Aren't you worried about people recognizing you?" I ask.

Javi mimics me glancing around.

"No. You didn't recognize me." He reminds me.

"There was a lot happening at the time, okay?"

He looks amused.

"I guess what I mean to say is, aren't you worried if they see you out with someone? Doesn't that matter for... PR purposes?" I take a long swig of my water.

He mulls this over, rubbing a finger across his bottom lip.

"I hadn't thought about it. Though I don't see how they could spin this in a negative light. Man and woman enjoy a dinner together? Seems like a boring headline."

I stare a little too long at his finger on his mouth. "Boring indeed."

The waiter comes over and Javi orders a bottle of red wine for the table. When he reappears and pours some out in our glasses, it's the best wine I've had in years. If ever.

"If you think that's good, just wait until we get to Italy," Javi says.

"Ugh. Don't remind me."

He cocks a brow, "Not much of a traveler?"

"Not much of a plane rider. I hate flying."

"Ahh. But you made it here, didn't you?"

"How do you know I'm not from LA?"

He shrugs, "It's a gift. I can always tell. I'm going to guess..." he leans back in his chair, eyeing me up and down, "Pennsylvania?"

"Close, kind of. Connecticut."

"That's a long plane ride."

"It was worth it." I take another sip of my wine.

"So you flew from Connecticut to get into the film industry. You didn't want to start in New York?"

I let out a short, humorless laugh. "No, I did. I actually moved there after college but I had... a falling out with my roommate. Suddenly the plane ride seemed less dangerous than staying home."

That familiar, concern-filled furrowed brow is back.

"A falling out?" He echos.

I nod, and the waiter is back to get our order. I hadn't had a chance to look at the menu, so I order the first thing I see, grilled halibut. Javi gets a steak. Then he's back on the question track.

"What kind of a falling out makes someone pack up and move 3,000 miles west?" He doesn't sound like he's prying, rather that he is genuinely mystified.

I'm not taking the bait, so I nearly shrug and attempt to change the subject.

"Have you ever been to New York?"

"Yes, I live there now actually."

"Mm. And the rats aren't enough for you to understand my move?"

He smiles, "Not quite."

"So," he continues, "A woman like yourself was naturally free on a Friday night. Is your boyfriend out of town or something?"

I laugh, "I didn't even know it was Friday. And is that your way of asking if I'm single?" My boldness surprises me less when I notice I've finished almost a full glass of wine.

He actually blushes . "Yes." God he is cute. And sexy. And I really should drink more water.

"No boyfriend. What about you? Any significant others I should know about?"

"None."

"So you just go around collecting production assistants?"

I meant it as a joke, but I can see that it bothered him.

"I'm sorry. I was kidding."

Of course our food comes now, at the worst time. It does look incredible, I can't lie. I should have looked at the prices beforehand, and I'm mentally doing the math on how much my half will be. We eat in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the delicious meal. One of the more proper meals I've had in the past few months.

"Ava," Javi starts, his voice low, "I want you to know... I don't do this. But I want to get to know you. And I know you have aspirations, and I don't want to hold you back from that. So if this is too much or if you feel any obligation..."

I feel my heart pounding in my chest.

"I don't feel obligated," I pause, swirling my wine in my glass, "My only worry is... My career is important to me. I don't want anyone thinking someday that I got into a film job by sleeping around," his face looks even more worried, "but I want to get to know you too. I didn't realize how much until I saw you and Emma today. I figure the rest we can figure out as we go."

Javi nods, a slow smile creeping onto his face. "Alright then," he holds up his glass and I do the same. He cheers the two glasses together and gives me a wink.

Before I know it the bill is on the table, and the two of us have finished off a half of the bottle of wine. I whip my card down immediately.

He laughs, "Absolutely not."

"I'm not a charity case," I challenge, "I don't want you to think I'm after your money."

"No, you're not a charity case," he puts his card down and tosses mine to the other side of the table, "but you are my date. I wouldn't want you to think I wasn't a gentleman."

"Who said I wanted a gentleman?" My cheeks burn as I say it, but I don't look away from him.

He smirks, "We'll see."

What does that mean? He walks me out with his hand placed gingerly on my lower back.

"I'm going to drive you home," He says matter of factly.

I scoff, "I'm on the opposite side of town."

"I'm not letting you take a cab, alone, in a dress like that." He sounds serious now.

"I already did."

"Don't remind me," he mutters.

A black Mercedes pulls up, and a valet jogs over to us.

"Mr. Gutierrez," he says, shaking his hand. Javi gives him a tip and smiles warmly at him. "Thank you, sir."

He walks me to the door, helping me climb into the passenger side. Another first. My arm tingles as he lets go, jogging around to the driver's seat. I roll down my window and let the breeze cool down my skin as we drive. I sneak glances over my shoulder at him. His face is concentrated, his right arm deliciously stiffened as he grips the steering wheel. My eyes follow the pathway of his arm up his neck to his face. I'd never been with a man with facial hair, and it framed him so well. I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to feel the stubble on my–

"What are you staring at?" Javi says in a low voice. He glances over at me and I just look at him.

"What are you thinking about?" His tone is playful.

"What are you thinking about?"

"I was wondering how long someone like you could have been single."

I just smile and shake my head, "A long time, actually."

"How long?"

"Since I moved here. So...four years."

"Making you, what, twenty-six? Twenty-seven?"

I give him a quizzical look.

"What? You never answered me the other day. Again, I can't look you up."

I laugh lightly, "Twenty-six."

"Hmm. Four years. That's a while to be single."

"Are you judging me, Mr. Gutierrez?" I arch an eyebrow.

"Of course not. I've been single for a while myself. But you left him behind in Connecticut, I'm guessing."

"New York," I hesitate, "He was the roommate I was supposed to live with."

Javi looks over like he's checking on me; gauging to see how hurtful that sentence still is. I must have said it confidently enough for him to continue his line of questioning.

"You two didn't live well together?" he guesses.

"No, we actually did," I let out a bitter laugh, "it just gets kind of hard to live with someone once they cheat on you."

Javi's mouth parts, and he's looking at me in surprise. I don't give him a chance to reply.

"Oh, my apartment is just up here. You can drop me off anywhere." Truthfully I'm thankful that I'm almost out of the car, or at least almost out of this conversation.

"I'm walking you to the door," he says, pulling into one of the street spots. He jogs around to get my door for me and helps me out just as gently as he helped me in. He keeps his hand intertwined with mine and I direct him to my door. We walk up the steps and he stops in front of the entrance.

"I had a good time tonight," I smile, knowing it's a cliche line. But it was the truth. It was the best date I'd had in a long, long time.

He returns my smile, "So did I," he pauses for a moment, "Can I ask you one more question?" His smile falters a little.

"Of course."

"What happened, Ava?" He asks gingerly, brows knitted together as usual, "What was his name?" he is sweeping back a few straw strands of hair in front of my face, and my breathing hitches.

"Well, that's two questions," I joke, but Javi doesn't break. He just waits for me to continue. "John," I sigh, "His name was John. And her name was Chloe...she was my best friend," the words tumble out easier than I expect. For the first time, I'm not embarrassed telling this story. "I met both of them my freshman year of college. They always got along so well, and I think everyone hopes for that," I give another humorless laugh, "I thought I was lucky."

Javi tucks one of the strands behind my ear. His deep brown eyes are darting between both of mine, like he's trying to discern something.

"He was the lucky one. Jesus, what a waste." Javi's hand untangles itself from mine before he moves it to my back, his thumb rubbing comforting circles. At least, I think they're meant to be comforting. But I'm finding them rather distracting.

"Javi..." I whisper.

"Mmm?" He replies, bending his forehead down to rest against mine.

"Yesterday, when we were blocking that scene...Can you show me what you would do if we hadn't just been blocking?" My lip shakes. I don't know if this is too much for him. I know he said he wanted to get to know me, but we never discussed exactly what that meant. But he had called this a date, hadn't he?

His expression goes dark. He brings his other large hand to cup the side of my face, and takes his time looking between both of my eyes before his gaze travels to my lips. Then the same hand on my cheek guides me to his mouth.

He starts slow and tentative, testing the feel of my lips on his. I can feel the tickles of his mustache on my upper lip and it makes me want to press my lips more firmly on his. So I do. I wrap my hands around his neck just like I had the day before, only this time it's to balance myself as I lean in for more.

Javi responds instantly, becoming firmer in his movements as well. The hand on my back travels a little lower, pulling me in harder against his chest. The motion brings in another waft of his incredible scent. I want to bottle up his musk and inhale it all day long.

He pulls back just enough for us each to get some air.

"When was the last time you were kissed like this?" He breathes against my lips.

"Never," I confess, inhaling sharply, "I've never been kissed like this."

It was the truth. I've never felt the way I do now. Like I'll collapse if I can't continue what we're doing. I hadn't had that with John even when we were doing our best. Our kisses had always been pleasant, and maybe a little exciting at times. But this? This was the kind of kiss that led to more. Not because it was expected, but because the kiss was so indulgent that no amount could truly satiate you. You had to continue. You had to have more.

This confession seemed to satisfy Javi. He let out a low chuckle before backing me up against the brick wall under the archway of my building. He grabbed my hands from around his neck, just like he had yesterday. He slowly pinned them above my head.

"You're the director here. Any notes on this scene? Is this meeting your standards?" He dips his head into the crook of my neck, licking a short stripe up to my ear. I gasp.

"You made changes. You put your leg in between hers. You didn't do that with me."

"We had the crew watching us, Ava," he whispers in my ear, "Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to think of those people seeing you in that vulnerable position?"

I squirm at his words. My arms strain against his vice grip, my only defense is my back arching off the wall to meet him.

"Ah, that's right. That was your own twist on the scene. Did you want me then? Did you feel what I felt?" He continues his heavenly open-mouthed kisses on my neck.

"You backed away from me then." I counter, my head spinning. He pulls back, making sure he can look me in the eye as he answers.

"I didn't want anyone else to see you like that. And it was all I could do to keep from coming undone."

At that, I lift my face up, trying as hard as I can to get to his lips. He smirks at me.

"You didn't answer my question," he leans down further, "Did you want me then, Ava?" His free hand travels to my backside, squeezing me hard.

"Yes," I whine, barely recognizing my own voice.

With that, he takes my mouth with his. He sighs into me as he parts his lips with my tongue. We continue teasing and pulling each other for an immeasurable amount of time before he pulls back, letting my hands break free of his grip above my head. We both catch our breath for a few moments.

"I'm going to New York this weekend, otherwise I would want to see you again."

My head is still a pile of mush. "I'll...see you at work, then." I feel disappointed at the realization that he isn't inviting himself inside.

He pulls me in, kissing my forehead. "I'll see you soon."

I watch Javi until he gets back into his car and I see his headlights fade in the distance. I lean back against the cool brick, trying to gather my thoughts. I don't even think I can walk straight. All I know is that for the first time in years, I can hardly wait to get back to work.

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#pedro #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal fandom #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal x original characters #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you #the mandalorian #tlou #narcos #javier peña #joel miller #javi gutierrez fanfiction #javi gutierrez smut #javi gutierrez x you #javi gutierrez x reader

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