August slipped away into a moment in time 'cause you were never mine
the summer i loved you ā jake x f.reader wc ā 3.3K
summary ā where August was the month of new beginnings and first loves but mostly, heartbreak.
genre ā friends to not lovers, second lead syndrome, angst, fluff, summer au, august inspired
warnings ā sad ending, jake is a huge dee eye see kay (š¤¢š¤¢), profranity, heartbreak, not proofread
an ā um guys haha def dont come at me for the ending šš but omg this had been in my drafts for a while now n im glad im able to release this in august āš½š have fun reading pookies (1 fucking am rn imma die help)
ps ā ā a visualizer cuz why tf am i extra ?!
August is a weird month. It seemed to rush by you like a dream and yet at the same time it felt like the last period of every Friday, not finishing fast enough. You'd prefer the former.
August reminded you of memoriesā pretty but mostly ugly ones or maybe when the hurt in your heart ran so deep, even the happy memories turned ugly, didn't they?
It was not a month you enjoyed, you didn't like summers, you didn't like feeling like new beginnings and first love.
August reminded you of it all... It reminded you of Jake.
It was 1st of August when you realized what those weird feelings were.
āY/N!ā You opened the door to the sound of your name, only to be met with a tired and almost teary eyed Jake. He looked up at you, mustering a small smile as you stood before him your mouth agape.Ā
āA-are you okay?!ā you asked, pulling him into your house.
āUm. Notā¦ reallyā, your friend replied, scratching his neck nervously. āItās justā¦ she kinda broke up with me.ā
She. he didnāt even need to mention her name and yet you let the word pierce your heart, a little. Kang Eunji. Jakeās girlfriend, well, ex girlfriend.Ā
It was her, always her. It wasnāt unusual for you to hear that they both had a fight but you never thought they'd break up. āWhat? Are you being for real?!ā You were shocked to say the least. Jake and Eunji were what people deemed to be the āpower coupleā at school. They wouldnāt break up, or could they?
He nodded and sat on the couch, āWe were fighting over one of those petty matters again, she was angry why I was so busy. It was about soccer practice of course! And when I kind of lost it, she said we were over.ā His voice caught in his throat before he let out a small sob.
Your heart sank as you patted his back and pulled him close into an embrace, āSsh, itās okayā, you ran small circles on his, ignoring the butterflies set free in your stomach at the close contact.Ā
You could never understand what went on in their relationship. This may have been the first time they broke up but it surely wasnāt the first time Jake came to your house on the verge of tears.
You hated seeing him this way, like a broken record.Ā
āWhat will I do now, Y/N?ā āYou just broke up, itās not the end of the world. Plus, you have the entire summer before you, right? Weāll figure a way out,ā You broke the hug, looking straight into his eyes, trying to reassure him.
But they all meant nothing. Getting reassured of a broken heart didnāt mend the damage, you knew better than him. Jake nodded nonetheless, wiping away the stray tears, āGoodness, I feel so dumb for just crying like this.ā ādonāt be. You are allowed to feel your emotions.ā
He gave a small smile in your direction and your heart skipped a beat.
āSoā, you turned towards the television, searching for a distraction. āYou wanna binge watch something? Or maybe some Doraemon?ā
Jake grinned, āIād love that! What would I do without you, Y/N?ā
You let out an almost sad chuckle, āI am the coolest best friend aināt I?ā The word best friend left a bad taste in your mouth.
4th August was when Jake realized the bookstore was his safe place.
Clink! The door to the bookstore opened with a small chime. You looked up from your position at the counter only to find Jake walk into the shop.Ā
He smiled before taking a seat beside you, much to your surprise. It wasn't unusual for him to drop by the store. But mostly he came for borrowing a book or having a quick chat with you.Ā
But never like this.
'So, how are you doing?' You asked, turning towards where he sat, fidgeting with a pen. It was a slow lazy afternoon with barely any customers.
'Oh, uh, I'm fine. At least I'm trying to be. We had so many things planned and like, it feels weird. We were good for each otherā¦' he kept on rambling about his latest break up.
You could feel your heart clench a litte. You understood why Jake was doing so but it didn't help. It didn't help that there were two broken hearts in the same room. It was always you and the second lead syndrome against the world.
Sometimes you really wondered what you had done to be stuck in the loophole of falling for a friend.
You had been friends with Jake since middle school, always finding yourself blush whenever he was around.Ā
The first time you tried confessing to him during Valentine's Day in freshman year, your hand baked cake (which you had prepared for hours) got destroyed. You kind of gave up on him, treating him as a friend.
Well, that was until Eunji came along last year. Seeing Jake with her brought about a fresh wave of emotions you think your heart had forgotten.
It hadn't.Ā
The bookstore was Jake's hideaway from the world. He loved everything about it. Loved how calming it was and the people who came in always greeted him with a smile. He was a quaint place, maybe mysterious in a sense that Jake didn't want to uncover the secrets it hid.
He liked how you let him sit there for the entirety of your shift. But mostly he loved the conversations.
Throughout the summer, Jake couldn't remember the number of times he found you sitting with him, flipping through some book as you both chatted away, be it in the lazy afternoon or under the evening sky, where the buzz of the grasshopper was the only thing he could hear. They felt weirdly intimate, like the secrets he used to keep as a kid. He almost wanted to gatekeep them.Ā
'Sorry do I bore you here?' You asked one day. It was a question bothering you for a while.
Jake frowned, 'What? No. Of course not, Y/N. You could never bore me.' But you were unconvinced, 'No, like, who spends their summer sitting in a small little barely functioning bookstore except maybe be. You must have a lot of plans, right?'
'I wouldn't lie. I haven't ever spent such a quiet summer but turns out, I like a lot. Too much for my own sake. The bookstore isn't boring. Rather, it gives me a sense of escape from reality.' He gave you a reassuring smile.
'Also', Jake added as a second thought. 'You aren't boring Y/N. You just make it all loads better.'
Your phone went off with a sharp ring. Your alarm wasnāt set to ring today. Who could it be? You groaned as you sleepily grabbed it from the nightstand. Without even checking the name, you picked up the call, āHello? Who?ā āItās me Jake, you dummy!ā His excited voice came from the other side.
You yawned, āWhat do you want?ā you checked the time, āItās literal fucking half past four.ā āMore reason to wake up, right?!ā
āShut up, Iām hanging up and-ā āNo no! I really did plan a surprise. Get ready, please, just for today. Pleaseā, he begged from the other side.
Now, you were definitely wide awake, upon hearing his voice. He had planned whatā¦? āOkay but the surprise better be good.ā āAlso! Keep your bicycle ready.ā
āThere you are!ā Jake greeted you with a wide smile as you grumbled and walked down the road with your bike where he stood. āYou donāt get to smile like that after pulling me up from sleepā, you muttered angrily.
But really who were you to complain? It was Jake and you couldnāt deny the fact that you were genuinely excited for what was coming. It was always an adventure when it came to him.
āYou wonāt be disappointed, trust meā, he said, boarding his bike and motioning for you to do the same.Ā
You breathed out a calming sigh, looking ahead at the empty road. Thanks to summer, the sun was already somewhere there on the horizon, spreading a fuzzy glow around you. Everything looked simpler, softer. In the light of the dawn, your thoughts felt less complicated, you almost felt it would be easy to sort out your feelings. Would it?
You turned to look at Jake, cycling in peace, a small grin on his face, āTold you! I sometimes go out on early morning rides, especially if I have a lot on my mind.ā
āSo, why are you taking me then?ā āI donāt know. I just have a feeling youāll like this placeā, he shrugged. āPlus, I like spending time with youā, Jake added as an afterthought.ā
A blush crept into your cheeks at his words. Stop over thinking you scolded yourself. But you couldnāt help the hope blossom in you. False hope.Ā
āHere we areā, Jake spread his arms wide, showing you the view. After half an hour of cycling through empty streets and quiet places, you found yourself on a small hill. It was pretty abandoned, the only sounds that reached your ears were the chirping of birds and the whistling of trees in the cool summer morning.
In front of you lay your town and the forests beyond it. Those familiar buildings looked all new when you saw them from top of a hill. It radiated calmthā¦ and comfort.
Or was the latter because of the person beside you?Ā
āThanksā, you spoke in a soft whisper but then you felt a hand tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. Your heart stopped as you turned towards Jake looking at you with a fond smile and slowly pulled you closer, resting his head on your shoulder.Ā
You couldn't process what he was doing. Was it all intentional? No, it was the usual playful Jake you knew, right? But the usual playful Jake wasn't like this. He had pulled you into a hug several times but never like this.
Never so tender in his actions that it made you think otherwise.
'I like the view so much. I hope you do too. It's justā¦ very special, I had never shown it to Eunji either. People ruin things', he sighed, looking ahead.Ā
You scoffed as an attempt to lighten the atmosphere, 'So, I'm not a person?' 'No, you're Y/N. It's an entire special thing to be in itself.'
You didn't know what it meant anymore. The secret smiles, the small actions. You weren't oblivious, you saw it all but your face masked it behind the friendship.
But was it even friendship? You hoped it wasn't. You hoped you both had crossed the line of being "just friends".
It was the 20th of August when Jake liked mint chocolate ice cream.Ā
He touched his cheek as a familiar warmth flooded in at the sight of you. What was happening to him? Ever since the day on the hill, he had been feeling weird. Be it when he visited the bookstore or when you both hung out during the day (or night).
The way your laugh sounded in his ears, when you smiled, he noticed the way his heart skipped a beat. But he loved the most when through the afternoons you talked. Just talk, nothing and everything.
Jake had never felt so connected to anyone. You both had always been friends but seeing a friends standing before him, two ice creams in hand shouldn't make Jake blush.
But it did.
'Hey Mr.Zoned out!' You snapped your fingers before him, pulling him away from his thoughts. You handed him his ice cream while joining him on the curb.Ā
He made a disgusted face at the cone you were holding, 'Ugh. Mint chocolate.' You slapped his shoulder playfully, 'Yah! You are a person with zero taste.'Ā
'Oh really? Lemme try it then', Jake replied, challenging you. He scooped a bit with the plastic spoon before closing his eyes and tasting it.Ā
'Ew', he gagged. 'This tastes like fucking toothpaste', he wiped his mouth in disgust.
'Shut up, no need to be so over dramatic about it all', you chuckled and rolled your eyes.Ā
Jake looked at you as you continued eating and looking at the street in front. It was almost 5 in the evening, the kids were out playing but their shouts were only distant noise because all he could hear was your voice. All he could see was you. You weren't bright like the background but in his eyes, you were glowing. The sun falling on your face, as if highlighting only you in his eyes.
Almost as if on instinct, his hand slowly reached out to your free one, his fingers finding yours and intertwining them together.
You stopped, your heart beating way too fast, you could almost feel the redness of your cheeks.
What was happening? What was Jake doing? Why was he doing this?Ā
It felt wrong, you knew it. Your intuition could tell it. This was something you had waited forever to happen, but you knew this couldn't be.
Let go of his hand, Y/N. Let go let go let go let goā¦ don't let go.
You didn't, too foolish and in love to walk away. And maybe that was the first mistake you had made.
The first rain of August came on the 25th.
Why was rain often associated with sadness? No, rain didn't mean sadness.
Because on that one day of August, you stood outside the bookstore looking at the dark clouds, the rain gave you hope.
You sighed, no wonder your mother kept on insisting you to take an umbrella. Now, there you were, standing in front of the closed shop.
But a bright yellow thing caught your eye, standing out in the dull gray background. You squinted your eyes as the figure came closer.
Jake.
Your stomach jumped. Had he come for you?Ā
He ran through the rain, his bright smile evident as you stared at him in wonder.
'What?' He asked. You shook your head, 'Youā¦?' 'I came for you. You always forget your umbrella.' He completed the sentence for you.
Your mouth formed an "O" but a soft smile spread across your lips.Ā
'Here', he handed you the spare umbrella in hand and took hold of your wrist, pulling you into the rain.
You shrieked, 'At least let me open mine first.' He laughed at your sight, moving closer and holding his umbrella over you.
You noticed every single thing, the things you had noticed a hundred times before. But mostly you noticed his little actions.
The ones that made you fall for him all over again.
'Fuck, if I catch a cold, it'll be your fault, Sim Jake', you threatened the boy standing in front of your porch, grinning. You both had recklessly ran in the rain as a result the umbrellas had been pretty uselessā¦ but it was fun.
'Don't worry', he stepped forward, a certain fondness flickering in his eyes. 'I'll be there to bring you the meds.'Ā
It happened in a fraction of a second, swiftly, Jake bent down and gave a sudden kiss on your cheek. It was soft as a feather, almost like it didn't happen.
But you felt it. You almost felt dizzy, her cheeks heating you. You brought your hands to where he had just kissed you. It had happened, hadn't it?
But before you could say anything, Jake turned around, his head hung low in embarrassment but his stomach full of butterflies and sprinted in the opposite direction.
Had he meant it?
As Jake walked his way back home, his head filled with thoughts of you, a sudden buzz of his phone. He took it out, expecting a text from you.
But noā¦ It was someone else.
His heart dropped. A contact that hadn't been there since 1st of August.
Eunji.
"jake, im so sorry."
But what followed after that day was something you had always feared.Ā
He ignored you. Every text, every call, no reply. Did he just get awkward? But even an awkward Jake wouldn't be this rude. Or was he angry with you? You didn't even do anything.
The next time you saw Jake, three days later, was when you went on a grocery run.
You could spot him anywhere. 'Jake! Wait', you called out to him. He didn't stop. 'Omg, stop being a shit head would you?! Stop fucking ignoring me!' You huffed, annoyed.Ā
That's when you saw his figure slowly turn towards you. 'Sorry', he muttered. You ran a hand through your hair. sorry? That's all he had to say?Ā
'Look, if it's about that day then forget it. You-you never kissed me.' 'What? Of course not, it isn't about that day', he replied.Ā
You looked at him confusedly, 'Huh? Then why, Jake? I had tried calling and texting you so many times but you couldn't bother to reply to me.'Your voice slowly rose.
'I was busy catching up with Eunji okay?!' his tone matching yours.
There came that name. Her name. Did you hear it correctly? What was she doing in this conversation?
'E-eunjiā¦?' you looked at him, at loss of words. 'I thought yo-you were over her?'Ā
He gave you a look of disbelief, 'No. That day she sent me a text and I realisedā¦ I wasn't.'
Why did the crack in your heart deepen? Why was it always you who got hurt?Ā
And you couldn't help but ask, knowing the answer would make you feel worse, 'What about us then, Jake?'Ā
'Us? Y/N what are you talking about? We are friends, we always have been. There is no us.'Ā
There, the final blow. 'Why did you make me feel so special then? All for nothing? You know how much I like you, so much that everytime we spent time together this summer, I got my hopes up. I was so foolish, because of you Sim fucking Jaeyun. And that day you kissed me, I thought, finally you'll realize but no. It's always her, isnt it?', you didn't scream but the crack in your voice said it all.
And Jake remained silent through it all. because he knew he deserved 'So, this summer meant nothing to you?' You sniffed, a single tear rolling down your cheek.
'Nothing.' But you missed the flicker in his eyes. The flicker that said otherwise.
That it wasn't nothing, it was his eveything.
August 31st was when you lost it finally.
āIt was just a summer thingā, the words rang in your ear, loud and clear. They drowned the voices of all the chatter of classmates. āy/n? y/n? Are you okay?ā Lily asked beside you, furrowing her eyebrows in worry.
But you couldnāt respond to her, at that very moment, you thought you couldnāt do pretty much anything except look. Or rather stare at the sight unfolding before you. Before you knew it, the plastic cup fell from your hands, the beer splashing all over the floor and getting the attention of the people in the room, the attention of them.Ā
In the haze, you met your eyes with his, the soft brown ones that you had fallen in love with, the one which enveloped you in warmth. But now they felt like they were hurting you, the annoyance in them.
A tear rolled down your cheek as you turned around. The room suddenly felt too small, the stares of the people felt accusing. You let go of Lilyās hand that gripped your wrist and ran in the opposite direction.
Did you hear footsteps behind you? Were they Jakeās? You hated to admit it but you wished they were. You wished that he was the one following you, the one who'd hold you back.
For once, prove it to you that you werenāt the second lead.
But he wasnāt there.
You found yourself rushing to the porch, the sounds fading out. But you could hear the blood pumping in your ears, the sound of your shallow breath that you had been holding for so long.
He wasnāt there. What did you even expect?
You were a summer thing for himā¦ but he was your summer love.
permanent taglist open- send an ask- @rikizm @str0l0gy @yenqa @heetoldme @crxzs @s00buwu @nhularin
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Paint the town red | CS55
SOCIAL MEDIA AU
āĀ Pairing:Ā Carlos Sainz x reader (she/her)
āĀ Warnings:Ā curse words, slut-shaming kinda, breakup, and typos.
Ā ā Summary:Ā Being yourself and following your dreams can be hard when you're in a relationship that doesn't give you the space to do so. Yn spent years in Charles' shadows, but she's ready to show that her music is still there, and so is love which she finds closer than she expected with another Ferarri boy.
ā·Ā myĀ masterlistĀ |Ā my taglistĀ |Ā patreon masterlist
ā·Ā you can support my writing byĀ reblogging,Ā leaving a commentĀ (donāt forget to follow me if you like the piece), orĀ buying me a coffee
ynofficial
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ynofficial šŖ¦š©¶
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sainzleclerc I donāt wanna reach too much, but I think this means sheās about to bury Charles? š«£
ferrarifreezing what is Carlos doing on the likes?
normani šš beautiful, mama!!!
ynprincess I am SO confused
wonderlandswift what if sheās burying the rumors and theyāre actually back together?
ā¤· channelschumi she hasnāt attended the last races so I would believe they broke upā¦
ā¤· 1999yn or maybe sheās just getting back to her thing?
ynofficial
liked by carlossainz55, lewishamilton, and others
ynofficial Idc I paint the town red! š©š® @ alaquan_smith thank you for having me!
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albonnyc SHE IS COOKING, LET HER COOK āš»
harlowracing not really digging the hat, but she looks fantastic as usual
sainzsinner charles must be crying on the floor rn for letting a baddie like this go
ā¤· hammert1m3 question is how he even bagged her in the first place š£ļø
popyn its so good seeing her back on her thing going on events and singing and writing and living š„¹
charleslechair I say she knew what she was doing by going w a red set
ā¤· icumercedes sheās entertaining the fandoms and Iām here for it š
carlossainz55
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carlossainz55 burning red
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saintsainz BESTIES, HE'S SOFT LAUNCHING
racingasone very romantic, Mr. Smooth Operator
iceswiftie what is it with the color red lately?
ā¤· monacoleclerc wdym?
ā¤· icerswiftie Yn has been posting a lot about red stuff
ā¤· ynsunshine but Yn's deal is probably about a new song or something, it has something to do with her and Charles's relationship
ā¤· motheringyn past relationship*
merclewis he's so handsome and for what?
ynofficial
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ynofficial Paint the town red out on every streaming platform TOMORROW AT 10pm EST! ā¤ļø
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pimentasainz IS THAT CARLOS??????????????
goldenyn Yn releasing music again, the world is healing
carlossainz55 ā¤ļø
ā¤· lewisnation EXCUSE ME?????
ā¤· yn2000 omg omg they're really together
fan10 If this is Sainz and they're together she's the biggest slut known to history
ā¤· leclercrain are you graduated in slut history or something? shut up
schumihamilton I don't know how to feel about it
popyn she just broke the internet
russellliner I just know Charles is crying and throwing up rn
landonorris ššš
ā¤· gaslightgasly now I wonder if the grid is split or they're all with yn and carlos...
ā¤· hockeyf1 everyone is still following Yn and Carlos, so I take it they're not taking sides
carlossainz55
liked by pierregasly, mickschumacher, and others
carlossainz55 she a rebel, she a bad lil bitch, she my devil šā¤ļø
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āĀ āšŖ© VOICEMAIL:Ā I honestly did not like this piece, but I had this sitting on my drafts for ages, and I'm keen on cleaning it, so yup hope this piece was at least readable hihi don't forget to let me know your thoughts!
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āĀ reblogs,Ā comments, andĀ asksĀ are extremely appreciated, make sure to leave yours ā¤ļø (anon option is on!)
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