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#she's glaring at u bc u keep putting the books in the wrong spot and by u i mean atlas
elderwisp · 2 months
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nnightskiess · 4 years
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santana lopez imagine
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i kinda combined two requests together bc i thought they’d fit well!
a/n: this is for u elena. sorry you had to wait so long♡ 
also, i wanted to try and show that soft and nervous side of santana that came out at the beginning with dani, so i’m sorry if it feels out of character sometimes. (i did my best lol)
“So, what’s been going on with you? I haven’t seen you in a few months.” 
Y/N was having lunch with her friends from back home. It had been hard to keep in touch with them now that she had been living in New York for over a year. Not that she’d complain, since she gained multiple new friends and... well, a relationship. And not with just anyone— with Santana Lopez, whose singing career skyrocketed after a duet on Mercedes Jones’ album. She got a record deal a month after and her first EP was a hit. She went on tour with her first album but had vanished off the face of the earth after her very public breakup with her high school girlfriend and her backup dancer, Brittany S. Pierce. She stopped posting on social media, she wasn’t spotted by paparazzi anymore and her plans for a second album were now off the table. It was clear to everyone that the breakup had broken the girl. That was until she walked into the diner she used to work at and locked eyes with Y/N. Santana didn’t want to fall in love with anyone else and wasn’t completely over Brittany, so it wasn’t love at first sight. 
But the moment Y/N stole the show while taking the lead singing Shout by The Trammps, she knew there was something special about the girl. Was it her voice that Santana’s mind went to when she lied in bed that night? Or the twinkle in her eyes when she sang? Or perhaps the way her smile widened a tad bit more when she looked at Santana?  
Santana found herself go back to the diner on days where she’d rather sit in bed and cry. She’d forget her sorrow in moments they locked eyes but could cry again when Y/N wasn’t working that day. 
Santana had taken her notebook with her, the one she would never let anyone read— well, except for Brittany. It’s where most of her songs were born and where her most delicate and vulnerable thoughts were being kept. She’d never been too keen on sharing emotions with everyone, so writing them down was a great alternative. 
“I normally wouldn’t ask, but I’ve seen you here with that notebook now at least a couple of times... Are you writing a book?”
Santana’s head shot up. Y/N was standing next to her table, wiping her hands onto her apron.
Santana cracked a soft smile, “No—actually, I’m writing songs... a song... well, trying to, at least. My label wants-” She swallowed her sentence, she didn’t want this girl to know about any of that drama. 
Y/N seemed to ignore it.
“You sing?”
Santana nodded but furrowed her eyebrows when Y/N sat down in front of her. “Go on, then. Let me hear what you’ve got so far.”
“Oh, no no no-”
Y/N pursed her lips, “Did it happen not too long ago?” she asked after a couple of seconds of Santana trying to get out of this situation. 
She rose her eyebrows, unsure of how Y/N read the situation so well, 
“It’s actually been a while but it still hurts.” She caught herself confessing.
“Then I won’t pry. I’ll leave you to it.” Y/N slid out of the booth, “Oh, and— I happen to know that our strawberry milkshake is the best medicine to heartbreak. It’s on me.”
“Thanks...” Santana watched her leave into the kitchen and immediately rubbed her temples when the girl left her sight. No, no, no, no. Not again. But wasn’t this exactly the reason she had started visiting the diner more and more? To spike up a conversation with the girl? She cursed at herself, stood up, grabbed her stuff and left the diner. She wasn’t ready yet. She could take the short glances and attention, but that was the line. The only woman she had truly trusted was no longer with her, she couldn’t open up to anyone again. 
Through the window of the diner she could see the girl with a disappointed expression on her face the moment she realised Santana had left. But Santana didn’t turn around and kept walking. 
✫彡
“Okay, stop crushing my spirit. I wanted a nice dinner with you.”
“Then you should’ve just asked Berry over for dinner. I’m sure she’d tell you all about her awfully cheerful day.”
Kurt put his hand on Santana’s so that she would stop playing with her food. She glared at him. 
“You can glare at me all you want, but we’re not going to brush things under the carpet. Tell me what’s wrong.”
Santana dropped her cutlery and sat back, crossing her arms. “We’re not talking about Britt again. You want to help me move on? Then fucking stop bringing it up.”
“No, not that. There’s something else. I can sense it.”
“Since when do you have a Mexican third eye as well?”
“Off topic.” Kurt waved her off. “You know you can tell me anything, right?” 
Santana lowered her head and slightly looked up at him, trying to decide wether to share or not. 
“Is the label pressuring you?” He tried.
Santana sighed, “Well, yes, that too.”
Kurt waited patiently for Santana to feel comfortable enough to share the rest.
“They were okay with delaying the start of my second album but now they’re starting to breathe down my neck. They say it’s been long enough and that i’m just deadweight they have to pay but get nothing in return for, which is fair— but still. I’m only human, I’m not some super song-writing machine like Mercedes.”
“I thought you loved writing songs?”
“Yeah... when I had Brittany.” Santana looked at her lap and started playing with her hands. “Now that I don’t have her... I can’t seem to even write one sentence... and when I do, they’re all just too gloomy or depressing.”
Kurt nodded in understanding. “Well, Adele wrote one whole album about her breakup which sold like Wonka bars. Who says you can’t?”
Santana shook her head, “You don’t get it. I don’t want to sing about her anymore, even though it might help me move on. But the thing is...” she bit her lip, “I can’t. I don’t want to.”
“Then write about how you can’t write. Write about how you want to feel instead of feeling like your heart has been ripped out. Write about conquering this heartbreak, like a powerful song?”
“How?” Santana looked up, tears in her eyes. 
“By remembering who you were before.”
“But I’ve been with Britt for as long as I-”
Kurt shook his head and waved his hands around, “No, think of the Santana in high school. You were fierce, strong, not afraid to speak your mind but you also had a big heart. You didn’t want to show it often but we all knew yours was just as big, if not bigger, as ours. Remember how it felt every time you got a solo and when you stood on the stage? Write about that feeling. Write about feeling on top of the world again.”
“Thanks, Hummel.”
He smiled at her and squeezed her hands, “Anytime. Now eat before it gets cold. I didn’t spend two hours in the kitchen for nothing.”
✫彡
Santana walked out off the apartment she had rented after her breakup with Brittany and crossed the street. She needed some fresh air and a distraction from her song-writing. Spring was around the corner but it was still very chilly in the big city, so she held the collar of her coat while walking through the tiny park close to her block. She started humming the melody she’d just come up with. Something just didn’t feel right yet.
Santana saw people look at her as they passed by but hoped that the big sunglasses on her face would keep them guessing of her identity. No matter how much she loved the attention from her fans, she sometimes just wanted to be normal and not have to pose for selfies every damn day.
“Hey, you!”
She sighed and stopped to turn around since she’d look like a real ass if she didn’t. She half expected to be met with a group of teenage girls with their phones ready to snap a picture, but instead she locked eyes with the girl from the diner.
“I think you dropped this.”
The girl apparently didn’t seem to recognise her thanks to the shades, and she handed her a crumbled piece of paper.
“Oh— um, thanks.” Santana gave her a tight-lipped smile. She stared back at the girl.
“I know you.”   (weren’t you in a movie with my sister? lmao sorry i had to, let’s continue)
Oh, no. The girl couldn’t find out that Santana was the woman who had basically stood her up after their talk in that diner.
She let out a breathy chuckle, “Do you?” 
“Yeah, you look familiar.” Something in Santana hoped that the girl recognised her for being a celebrity, not for what happened a week ago.
Y/N shamelessly looked her up and down before snapping her finger.
“Milkshake girl. I recognise your voice.”
Santana smiled awkwardly. Great, now she definitely looked like a douche. 
“Sorry about that, by the way... I-”
“No need to apologise. I probably came on too strong, sorry for giving you the wrong impression. I only wanted to cheer you up.” She smiled back, “It’s a shame though, it was a great milkshake.”
Santana’s expression softened, relieved at how well the girl had taken it. 
“I don’t think I’ve seen you again after that... You used to come in every few days. Is it my fault? Gunther would kill me if I lost him a customer. Wait— Don’t answer that. It’s none of my business.”
Santana smiled and removed her glasses.
“If he ever gets mad at you, just give him a box of Yeast-I-Stat. That’ll pretty much shut him up.”
Y/N furrowed her eyebrows, “How do you-”
“I worked there for a long time when I first moved to New York.” Santana shrugged, “I was pretty desperate for any kind of job when I landed that commercial.”
“Oh my God, you’re the Yeast-I-Stat girl!? I knew I recognised you from somewhere else, too.” The girl gasped, “I like yeast in my bagel... but not in my muffin.” She mocked and laughed afterwards.
“Oh, shut up, will you?” Santana shook her head in amusement, kinda glad those days were over.
“Is that really what you know me of?”
“Yeah, what else should I know you of? Any other embarrassing first-job commercials I should know about?”
Santana was about to mention her career but stopped herself. Clean slate. She wasn’t a celebrity in her private life. Besides, she didn’t want the girl to think she was bragging.
“No... thank God.”
They looked at each other for a few seconds before smiling.
“I’m Y/N.” She held out her hand for Santana to shake.
“Santana.”
Y/N smiled at her with the most adorable smile ever. Santana didn’t miss the twinkle in her eyes. 
She blinked a few times before shaking her head, “So, yeah. I should get going.”
“Oh, yeah, of course. I have to go, too...”
“Bye...” 
Santana waved softly as the girl turned around and walked off.
Clean slate, Santana.
✫彡
“They’re doing a Gloria Estefan night at the Spotlight Diner. We should totally go.”
“Not that I’m complaining, but that sounds out of character for the diner.” Rachel shrugged.
“I guess they finally had a cultural awakening.” Santana was mindlessly scrolling through her phone. “They’re probably too white to sing her Spanish songs though, bet they’re gonna butcher it.”
“So that’s a no for reserving us a table?” Kurt turned to the two.
“No, I wanna go.” 
“Count me in, too. I love ‘Conga’.”
Santana rolled her eyes, “That’s the only song you know of her, isn’t it?”
“No...”
“Keep next Friday night free.” 
✫彡
They walked in as ‘A Bailar’ by Gloria silently played over the speakers in the background. Santana scanned the room, shamelessly trying to find the girl she was looking for. Unfortunately, she was nowhere in sight. 
Kurt waved his hand and one of the waitresses came to take their order. They talked a bit as they waited for their food. Every time Santana saw a girl in the red outfit walk by from the corner of her eyes, her head would shot up, only to be disappointed again when it wasn’t Y/N.
“Tana, stop ogling everyone. Your food’s getting jealous.” Rachel pointed at the untouched plate in front of her. 
A few minutes later, their heads shot to the door as Y/N bursted through it. She quickly fixed her hair that was messed up by the wind and quickly tied a white apron around her waist. Gunther came from behind the counter. Though they couldn’t hear what he said, it was clear she was in trouble. He kept pointing his finger at her chest before snatching the apron off her waist and sending her into the back. 
“Oh, I bet she’s on cleaning duty now. Remember when I got an hour late because I was held up at an audition?”
Kurt and Rachel started talking but Santana wasn’t paying attention. 
Santana furrowed her eyebrows until she got a call from her PR manager. She declined and a few seconds after, she got a text.
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Santana’s stomach sank and she froze. New relationship? Brittany had already moved on? Yet she still spent every day moping around, overthinking everything that had happened, unable to write any song that wasn’t about the blonde. Brittany was already giving someone else all her love? How was that fair? How was she even able to do that?
“Santana?”
“You alright?”
She snapped out of it and gave them a tightlipped, fake smile. There was no time for them to question her any further as Rachel let out a startled yelp when suddenly the first notes of ‘Conga’ blasted through the diner. The lights flickered and changed colour on the beat. Santana rolled her eyes, of course they’d start with that song. 
Girls started dancing through the pathways and tried to hype everyone up. Kurt was shimmying along and Rachel was nodding her head to the beat, a big smile on her face. Santana tried to blend but she was busy biting her lip to stop herself from crying. 
The percussion band on the little stage started playing ‘Cuba Libre’. A girl danced her way onto the stage and sang the Spanish verse. She was clearly hispanic since her pronunciation was great. Two girls started dancing on the counter and another helped someone up—Y/N. 
‘Cuba Libra’ faded into the chorus of ‘Turn the Beat Around’ to which Y/N took the lead. Santana’s frown softened at seeing the girl perform, but she still couldn’t shake the thought of Brittany off.
Santana sank back into her seat and crossed her arms, wanting to go home and crawl into her bed and not leave it for the next couple of days. She hadn’t even realised that another song was already playing and that the girls were pulling people out of their seats to ‘Get on Your Feet’. 
Y/N spotted Santana in the crowd and walked over to her, but Santana wouldn’t crack a smile. Y/N kept singing to her until she’d turn around. Kurt softly shook his head at the girl, telling her that she should leave Santana alone. But what he didn’t know, was that the girls already knew each other. Y/N noticed how Santana pursed her lips, not giving in to her. 
Y/N grabbed her shoulders, bent down to her height and slowly made the girl turn.
She sang to her,
“Deep in your heart is the answer. Find it, I know it will pull you through. Get on your feet!”
She leaned over to grab Rachel and Kurt’s hands, helping them stand up. Almost everyone in the diner was up and dancing right now, except for Santana. Kurt gave her a look, telling her to suck it up. 
“I think it's true that we've all been through some nasty weather,” Y/N turned to dance with one of her co-workers. She felt Santana look at her and walked back up to her. She danced around her. “Let's understand that we're here to handle things together.”
Y/N stuck out her tongue at Santana’s stoic expression, trying to break her. And it worked, Santana let out a soft chuckle and shook her head in amusement. Both Y/N and Kurt held out a hand for her to take. She rolled her eyes and stood up. The four of them danced together for a few seconds until Y/N walked back to the other girls. They ended the song on the stage, where everyone left but Y/N. They went back to eating their dinner as the next few songs would be slow and easy on the ears. 
Y/N sat down on the stool next to the guitarist. He started playing the soft notes of ‘Wrapped’. Kurt and Rachel went back to eating their food but Santana was too mesmerised by the girl to engage in their conversation. The soft light that was shining down on her made her look like she was the only one in the room. And judging by the look on the girl’s face while she sang, she felt like she was the only one in the room too. She hadn’t once opened her eyes the first minute, she was just so indulged in the song. 
A small smile made its way onto Santana’s face at the sight. She knew how good it felt to be so into a song that you could just forget the world around you— to find your corner of the sky. It was very obvious that Y/N felt at ease, even while performing in front of people. It was rare to see people be so clearly in love with what they were doing. 
Santana grabbed her phone, opened Instagram and decided to film this moment. Y/N’s face wasn’t recognisable from the distance where Santana was filming from so she decided to just put it into her story. Everyone deserved to see this. 
Was this positive and uplifting enough?
✫彡
‘What we know of Santana and Brittany’s breakup...’
‘Read what Brittany S Pierce has to say about her ex’
‘Santana’s social media silence over?’
‘Santana Lopez still in love or in love again?’
And many more headlines had been posted after that Friday. Santana got a lot of followers after her first post in over a year. She had also gotten a lot of hate, which was something she hadn’t missed. Brittany hadn’t said one bad word about their relationship or about Santana but for some reason she still received backlash. Brittany spoke so highly about Santana and all the questions were answered with respect. But Santana wasn’t surprised about that at all, that was just how Brittany was.
There were still people—mainly Brittany fans—who blamed Santana and made all kinds of crazy assumptions about what had happened. 
“Just delete the app. You don’t need that kind of toxic energy around you.”
Y/N was filling the ketchup bottles while she sat in front of Santana. 
How had this happened, you ask? One of Y/N’s coworkers had recognised her on Santana’s story and pointed it out to her. When Santana visited the diner again, Y/N had jokingly apologised about not knowing who she was before, to which Santana had replied,
“You knew who I was. You knew the real me. Not the celebrity or crazy hot girl from the Yeast-I-Stat commercials.”
After that, Santana made sure to come round when Y/N was done or only doing little chores. 
Y/N loved that she got a new friend and Santana was glad that she finally had someone who she could start over with. Someone who didn’t know her from back in high school and someone who didn’t become friends with her solely for the fact that she was famous.
“I can’t. They want me to post at least once a week.” Santana groaned, “I don’t even know what to post. All I do is sleep, try to write and go here.”
They worked in silence for a few minutes until Y/N opened her mouth again.
“Why are tomatoes the slowest vegetables?”
Santana furrowed her eyebrows, giving her a look. 
“No guesses? Well, they can’t ketchup.”
Santana snorted and shook her head. “Wow, okay. I’m going to pretend you didn’t just make an awful joke.”
“Yeah, you go do that while I bring these to the back.”
Santana watched her leave and sighed. The past week had been hell for Santana. She yearned for every little bit of attention from Y/N and her insides turned to mush whenever the girl smiled at her. But something held her back. She didn’t want to fall in love again. Not yet, not when she still held her high school sweetheart in her heart. But it was so hard to not stare at Y/N or freak out whenever she called her on the phone. 
“Ready?”
Santana laughed at the huge guitar in Y/N’s hands. She seemed so small now. 
“What’s that for?”
“You said you didn’t know what to post. You should post a little acoustic cover of that song I helped you finish last week?”
Santana looked at her, contemplating if she should agree or not. 
“Can you even play?”
Y/N smiled sheepishly, “Only that song. I practiced the chords all week. But hey, if I mess up— just know that i’m willing to publicly embarrass myself just to help you out.”
Santana smiled at her in adoration. “Fine. Okay.”
They walked to the vacant stage and put Santana’s phone on the sheet music standard.
“Oh-I... I’ll scoot out of the frame if me being in it makes you uncomfortable.”
“Why would it make me uncomfortable?”
Y/N laughed, “People might assume we’re together after all the assumptions about you in the magazines. That would be weird.”
Santana’s expression faltered. “O-Oh...yeah.. it would...” She faked a smile.
Y/N started strumming the guitar.
(radio silence by naya rivera)
Santana closed her eyes as she started singing. It was clear to everyone that this song was about Brittany and she wasn’t ready yet to let them hear the whole song. It felt too personal to give it away just like that. Which is why they decided to do just a snippet. 
She opened her eyes and looked at Y/N when one chord sounded terrible. You could hear Y/N giggle from behind the phone. Santana smiled wide and had a hard time singing without laughing. Y/N stuck out her tongue as she seemed focused on getting the next one right. Santana unintentionally looked at her longingly the last few notes but broke out of it when Y/N stopped playing. 
✫彡
Should she be thanking the tabloids? No, never. However, she couldn’t deny that they had been the reason why Y/N had even brought it up. 
“Do you like me?” 
Santana widened her eyes.
“And I don’t mean as friends. I mean like-like. Do you like-like me?”
“I-uh, I-” Santana stammered. 
“It would be really embarrassing if you didn’t, to be honest.”
Santana gave her a wary but panicked look.
“Because I do... like-like you, I mean.”
“Wow, wait— what?”
She opened and closed her mouth until she saw the honesty on Y/N’s face who let her statement linger in the air, hoping that Santana would say something. But the silence only heightened her nerves
“Santana-”
“I can’t... I can’t do this, I’m sorry.”
She quickly grabbed her stuff and left the diner, just like she had done the first time. 
She rushed home, biting her lip to prevent the tears in her eyes from falling. The second she unlocked her front door, she let them go. Santana tried to control her sobs as she sat on the couch, holding her head in her hands. 
Her safety net whenever she felt lost or emotional— Brittany — was gone, what was she supposed to do now? She let out another sob as she missed Britt’s arms holding her close. 
She reached for her phone without a second thought and dialled the woman’s number. Brittany picked up after a few seconds, much to Santana’s surprise.
“Hey, um, Santana. What’s up?”
Brittany decided to break the ice, but all formalities were thrown out the window when she heard the Latina let out another sob.
“Santana, are you okay?! What’s happened? Where are you?”
Was she okay? No. But what was she supposed to tell Brittany? That it was partly because of her?
“Please, say something, Tana. I’m worried.”
Santana held the bridge of her nose and let out a big, shaky sigh.
“Please forget that I called, this was a mistake. I’m sorry for bothering you.”
She hung up. But the phone rang after a few seconds. Santana tossed it next to her on the couch and rubbed her forehead. How could she have been so stupid?
It rang again. And again, and then another three times. Santana stared at the screen long and hard before picking it up. 
“Don’t shut me out, please. You know I still care about you when something’s wrong.”
Santana let out a huff and Brittany knew exactly what that meant.
“Santana, listen— I am so, so sorry for what happened. I too thought that we would be the happiest and sappiest couple forever but... some things just... happen. And I still completely understand how hard it was for you to stay friends with me without being with me and I’m so terribly sorry for that they brought you up in that interview— but I meant everything I said, Santana. You were the best thing that happened to me back then. And to me you still are my best and most incredible friend but... that’s just it.”
A long pause.
“And I kind of really miss hanging out with you and so does Lord Tubbington so if you’re comfortable with the idea, would you want to get together sometime soon? Wait— not get together-together, just... argh, you know what I mean.”
“How did you do it?” Santana broke her silence. “What changed in your mind for you to get the closure you needed? Because I never fucking got it.”
Brittany kept quiet, knowing there was more to follow.
“I have spent a whole year feeling like absolute shit, but I knew... that there was no way that we’d ever get together again. But the closure? Nope.” She furrowed her eyebrows in frustration. “And lately there’s been this incredible girl in my life and guess what? You two are fighting for first place in my head and I can’t help but want to push her out because I’m not ready to let her stay there until you are completely out of my thoughts.”
She heard Brittany let out a breath.
“Sant-”
“Oh, no, no, no. I don’t need a pity-party. I don’t-”
“Santana Lopez, listen to me.” Brittany raised her voice. “If your plan is to sabotage your own happiness, then congratulations— you’re well on your way. It’s no wonder that you’re having a hard time moving on. I mean, one— I’m a catch but two, we were together since high school, that’s a long time. We were each other’s first loves and truth be told, you never really forget those. You’ll compare every following relationship to that one, even if it was full of flaws. Truth is, you’ll never be able to move on or get the closure until you open yourself up to idea of loving someone else again. And I know how you work— you don’t ever want to open up to someone again but... if you give this girl a chance, who knows? She might be the one to change your mind. And I’ll cross my fingers she will. I hope she’ll kick me off first place like a rugby player.” Brittany snorted at her own joke. 
“Because you deserve a special someone too, Santana. And if you still don’t have the closure you need... I loved you, I cared for you, and in a way I still do. But we won’t ever get together again. That ship has sailed. I want you to be happy and I want to see you flourish in every aspect of life, just... without me being your special someone. I’d still very much like to be by your side, though, but as a friend.”
Santana let the words sink in until she suddenly widened her eyes. 
“I am such a fucking idiot.”
“Um... are we having the same phone call? Because I’m lost...”
“She told me she liked me and I ran out.”
“Was that metaphorically speaking or did you literally run out?”
“Like a chicken, Brittany.”
“Santana!? Be Chicken Little and run back!” Brittany exclaimed, “But watch out for the traffic, please, because that would be a tragic end to the story....and it would be animal abuse...”
Santana smiled softly, missing this side of Brittany.
“Okay, okay!” She laughed. 
“Keep me posted?”
Santana hummed, “Thank you, Britt.”
“Of course. You’re still my best friend, even if we haven’t seen each other in over a year. Go get the girl.”
✫彡
Santana hesitantly walked back into the diner. It wasn’t rush hour so there were only a few people having a drink.
“See you guys tomorrow!”
Y/N walked out of the backroom and froze in her spot when she saw Santana looking at her. A tightlipped, awkward smile appeared on her face and she tried to walk passed her but Santana grabbed her hand. 
“Wait, I-...I need to tell you something.”
Santana looked the girl in her eyes, seeing the anticipation and worry in them. But then she saw something else, she saw the same twinkle in her eyes when Y/N sang so beautifully that night. Only this time they were twinkling because she was looking at Santana.
She grabbed the girl’s cheek and planted a chaste kiss on Y/N’s lips. Y/N widened her eyes at first but kissed back. They parted when a bell coming from the kitchen interrupted them.
“So much for needing to tell me something...” Y/N chuckled heartily, “But I guess I got what you were trying to say.”
“You guess?” Santana shot back.
“Yeah... I’m still slightly confused...”
“How’s this?” Santana grabbed her by the waist and kissed her again. Y/N slowly tapped the girl on her chest when things started to get heated.
“Let’s keep it PG, we’ve got an audience.” 
Santana bit her lip in embarrassment when she saw that all eyes were on them now.
“But your message was loud and clear this time.” Y/N whispered in her ear and gave her one of the most adorable smiles.
“Oh...” Santana let out a breathy chuckle and looked at the ground. Being nervous was so out of character for her, but whenever it came to her and relationships she was always a simp for her significant other.
“But... can we take it slow? Because-”
Y/N nodded immediately. “I know, you don’t have to tell me. We’ll take it slow.”
✫彡
Y/N sat on Santana’s bed, reading a book while the Latina was trying to write a new song for her album. She heard yet another paper being ripped apart, followed by a loud groan. 
“Baby, you okay?”
Y/N bent over the couch and hugged Santana’s neck from behind, planting a kiss on her temple. Santana sighed and sat back, feeling more relaxed the second Y/N’s arms wrapped around her.
“It’s not working. I can’t seem to get my exact feelings onto paper and what I have now doesn’t even do it a little bit of justice.”
“The break-up song? Let me see-” Y/N went to reach for the notebook but Santana immediately turned around and smiled.
“You know what? I’m starving, and I want to take you out.”
“Oh— are you sure? We just had-”
“I’m sure. I need a break anyway.”
“Okay...well, let me get a jacket.”
Santana watched Y/N walk into the other room before quickly hiding the notebook behind the couch pillows again. She’d feel so embarrassed if Y/N ever read any of her love songs to her. Truth be told, ever since their first kiss in the diner, Santana had found her new muse. She had written a lot of songs since then but not one seemed to be good enough or do the girl justice. Besides, if Y/N read the lyrics to this song... Well, it would make or break their relationship and Santana wasn’t going to lose someone again.
“Let’s go.”
✫彡
“But I can tell my friends, right?”
“Baby, of course you can.”
“Sweet! I’m going to see them again next week. Can’t wait to see the look on their faces when they see you.”
“Oh, I’m... not sure if going with you is such a good idea.”
“I forgot— we’re taking things slow.” Y/N nodded to herself, “Sorry, I get too excited sometimes.”
Santana caressed the girl’s head and planted a kiss on it, “It’s okay. Soon.”
✫彡
“So, what’s been going on with you? I haven’t seen you in a few months.”
Y/N took a sip of her drink, “Well, i’m still working at the diner, that hasn’t changed. And-”
“You’re in love.”
“How-”
“I can sense it. Also, you've posted a lot of cheesy and soft quotes on your twitter so that was a dead give-away.”
“Well, yes. I’m dating someone.”
“Boy? Girl?”
“Girl, duh.” Y/N rolled her eyes.
“Oh my God, Y/N!” Her friend squealed, “Who is it? Show me a picture, let me approve.”
“It’s Santana Lopez.”
The two friends fell quiet.
“The famous singer?” One of them asked.
“Hun, she’s hardly famous anymore. Are we sure she still even exists?”
“Hey!” Y/N pouted. “But I’m telling you the truth. It’s Santana.”
“Real funny, she doesn’t even live in New York.”
“Uh, yeah, she does.”
“No, she doesn’t. TMZ said she moved back to Ohio after the break-up.”
Y/N shook her head, “They also said she started dating a 80 year-old billionaire and bought a pet alpaca, which I think is ridiculous. You’re too gullible.”
Her friend shrugged, “Perhaps, yeah. But hey, it’s okay if you don’t want to tell us who it really is yet.”
Y/N rolled her eyes when they switched the topic.
✫彡
“How did it go, babe? Were you happy to see them again?”
“You’re not going to believe me but they thought I was joking.”
“Joking about what?”
Y/N sat down next to Santana on the couch, immediately cuddling up to her. “Well, they didn’t believe I was dating you.”
“Why would they not believe you?”
“I think you forgot that you’re kinda famous.”
She rolled her eyes, “I’m hardly famous.”
Y/N mocked her, earning a playful punch in the shoulder from Santana but her smile soon disappeared.
“Um...”
“No bad news, please!” Y/N immediately noticed the change in Santana.
“No, no, don’t worry. I mean, I don’t think it’s bad news— it’s just... a lot...to deal with right now.”
“Just rip the bandaid off.”
Santana grabbed her phone and showed Y/N the post.
Tumblr media
“Oh...” Y/N swiped and saw that she had been photographed as well.
“I know we said we would take things slow so I’m so sorry that the media is trying to fuck that up again.” Santana examined Y/N, who was difficult to read. “This is exactly what ruined everything last time. Fuck! Here I thought it would be different this time around. I should’ve never-”
“Santana, sshh.” Y/N grabbed her hand, trying to calm her down. “Stop thinking.” 
Santana looked up like a sad puppy.
“Nothing is getting ruined again. Not on my watch.” She put the phone on the coffee table, “Let’s just ignore that. Let them start rumours, let them guess, let them make up drama but the only two people who really know the truth are you and I. It’s our life, not theirs. So no matter what they will say, I will love you unconditionally for as long as you want me to... and I will never feel differently... about you.” 
Santana's head shot up, looking puzzled and panicked at the same time.
“W-Where did you get that from?”
Y/N smiled at Santana and caressed her cheek, “You need to find better hiding places, babe.”
Y/N suddenly looked worried, “Unless that song wasn’t about me... then... well, this is awkward. Just-”
“I love you.” Santana cut her off, tears in her eyes. She felt the urge to pinch herself but decided it would look silly. Was she really in love again after all that she’d been through? 
“I love you too, unconditionally. And... you better make that song your first single.”
✫彡
“Guys, I’m literally in the pictures with her?!”
“Yah, but you look more like a fan of her than her girlfriend, look at you... swooning.”
“I mean, yes, I adore everything she does...”
Y/N’s friend leaned over and smiled, “So you’re really dating the Santana Lopez?”
“I mean, I sure hope she does...” Santana walked up to their table in the little cafe, startling Y/N’s friends while the girl just looked at them with a smirk on her face. Finally.
Santana sat down next to her and gave her girlfriend a kiss before turning back to the two friends sitting in front of them.
“Is that enough proof or do you need me to bend her o-”
“That’s enough!” Y/N gave Santana a playful slap across the head. 
“Oh my God, no!” Y/N’s friend exclaimed, “Speak for yourself! Imagine the money I’d make with a tape of that! I’d finally be the rich bitch I’ve always been deep down.” 
Y/n rolled her eyes at him and it earned a laugh from Santana, “I like you.” 
“Why, muchas gracias.”
“Wow, thanks for completely taking my spotlight. Hi, i’m her best friend, he’s just our accessory.”
“Excuse me?!”
Y/N shook her head at the two of them. 
“Are you regretting you came along?” Y/N turned to her girlfriend.
“We wouldn’t judge you if you said yes, to be honest.” Her friend laughed. 
Santana smiled at them, “No, it’s been a while since I met new people and you two seem fun and well, you mean a lot to this one over here so I’m happy to be here.”
Y/N snuggled up to Santana and put her head on her shoulder.
“Alright, go and make me jealous. It’s fine.”
“Shut up! Now tell us how you two met, please!”
✫彡
Santana couldn’t stop playing with her fingers and the bracelets on her wrist as the hours passed. Only a few more minutes now until her new song ‘My Unconditional Love’ would go online, for the world to hear. There had been a lot of speculations about the two women the past few months, but they had tried to be more discreet when they were outside. Much to the dismay of the paparazzi and tabloids. This song would basically be a dead give away to their relationship but she didn’t care. This song already meant so much to her and Santana hoped she could write plenty more songs like these about Y/N.
“Are you having second thoughts?”
Y/N’s voice interrupted her thinking.
“Wh- No, never! It’s probably my favourite song I ever wrote... it’s just... nerve-wracking, is all.”
“C’mere.”
Santana walked into Y/N’s open arms and let out a big sigh at the feeling of her arms around her. 
“You’ve come a long way and I am so proud of you... but most of all, I’m happy to be on this ride with you. I know this song will point a lot of fingers to us dating but hey, like we said before— no one needs to know but us and our friends and families. Capiche?”
Santana nodded and grabbed the girl’s cheeks, “I’m so happy with you.”
They both beamed from ear to ear until the bell rang. Santana opened the door. 
“I’m so excited!” Kurt squealed and dragged Rachel along inside.
“It’s time, guys!” Y/N sang as she appeared from the kitchen, trying to balance a tray with four champagne glasses on it. 
“Hook your phone up to the speakers!” Rachel grabbed a glass. Santana’s new song started playing which earned raised eyebrows from the three others.
“This isn’t the same song you sent me?!” Kurt exclaimed.
“No, it is. It’s just not the slow version. I’m keeping that version for us.” Santana grabbed Y/N’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “It felt too special to share.”
“Well, damn, I’m digging this one, too!”
They started dancing together to the upbeat song. Y/N kept staring at Santana, who seemed too excited and happy to notice.
Her unconditional love.
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rokutouxei · 3 years
Text
the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart
ikemen vampire: temptation through the dark theo van gogh / mc | T | [ ao3 link in bio ]
The challenge seemed pretty simple: to try to befriend the university bookshop’s most sour employee, Theo van Gogh. As a literature major with a boatload of book recommendations on her back, it ought to be a simple task indeed. But as she uncovers what lies between Theo’s pages, the more she finds it harder to become closer to him without having to put the feeling directly into words. What can she learn from Theo about what it means to stay—and how can she teach Theo about what it means to let go? | written for ikevamp big bang 2020!
[ masterpost for all chapters ]
CHAPTER 9 OF 22
You will let my tender hook Catch the folded darkness inside you, let me occupy The dented place at the base of your throat. - "One Life", Carlomar Arcangel Daoana
--
She wakes up late.
Comically late.
No hangover, thank god—but it’s 11am and she’s dressed in lent pajamas in a bed that isn’t her own. She shoots up to sitting position in a second, and standing in a minute, trudging out the room to the bathroom at the end of the hall.
By the time she’s up and out of the room, a little more awake, Dazai and Arthur have already long gone, the only remnants of their presence the bit of glitter that they had wiped onto the sofa they nestled in.
And text messages.
She squints when she reads it, not because she had a hard time reading what it said, but—because she couldn’t believe what it said.
A series of text messages from Dazai:
[ 7:23 | Dazai ] ur still asleep but ur friend kinda hot
[ 7:24 | Dazai ] ofc I woke up first but his eyelashes tho???
[ 8:32 | Dazai ] pls tell me he’s not a douche bc im rly gonna jump him
[ 9:03 | Dazai ] mgonna jump him
[ 10:19 | Dazai ] abt to find out if he’s got the magnum sized dong u promised
Oh, god, what has she done.
With a groan, she heads down the hallway, phone securely in the pocket of the sweatpants, to see Vincent and Theo preparing a meal in the kitchen; Theo preparing some sort of fillet (fish? Chicken?) and Vincent frying some onions and garlic on the stove, filling the kitchen with a nice aroma.
“Good morning,” she says softly, as she shuffles onto one of the dining table chairs.
“Thought you died,” Theo says with a snort; but once he turns around to face her, all derision goes away in his face and is replaced by a quiet surprise.
Vincent beams as he turns to get the fillets from Theo. (It’s chicken.) “Good morning. Did you sleep well? No headache?”
She shakes her head. “Nope, I’m good. Thanks for letting me sleep here last night and for the clothes.”
“Of course, no problem at all,” Vincent answers, turning back to the pan. The chicken makes a sizzle as it meets the oil.
Theo is still staring at her with an odd look on his face.
“Earth to Theo?” she calls out, waving her hand in front of her. “Something wrong?”
“Broer. Why did you lend her my clothes.”
Oh.
“You know how most my shirts are, paint-stained in all the weird places.”
She feels the cling of the cotton around her skin so differently, so suddenly. Oh.
“She wouldn’t have minded, she was drunk.”
That’s correct, but—
Vincent smiles at Theo, the kind of smile one makes when they can see through someone; she’s filled with a kind of relief at knowing that Vincent can do that to Theo. Maybe the man isn’t an impenetrable a character after all. “No need to be shy, Theo.”
“I am not,” he insists, finally tearing his gaze away from her and heading to the sink to wash the used chopping board and the knife. “I just don’t want her wearing my stuff.”
She smirks. He is shy. True, she didn’t get the opportunity to think about what she was putting on last night because she was so tired and knocked out by the alcohol, but…if that was the price she had to pay to see this side of Theo she doesn’t have the opportunity to witness often, then it was worth it. Oh, the ever put-together Theo, brought to his knees by only one person in the world, the one he trusts the most: his brother.  “Is it because your personality is contagious?” she teases, “wouldn’t want to catch that.”
He answers her with a glare. “Reverse. It’s your stupidity that’s contagious.”
“Oh, we’re pretty much equally as stupid, Theo. No need to worry.”
“We are not,” he says, and then Vincent elbows him carefully.
“You really should be a little gentler to your friends,” Vincent comments, as he turns the fillet onto its other side.
Theo grumbles something unintelligible and it makes her laugh. Sitting in the kitchen, watching the two brothers side by side with their back to her as they prepare—she checks the clock—lunch for the three of them, she hums, content. She’s lived alone for all her life here in the campus, and it was one she looked forward to after living in a house crammed with people for most of her life. But sitting here, watching them share the chores and maybe have a little banter with each other—makes her reconsider that maybe, maybe settling down in even the worst of places isn’t that horrible when you’re in good company.
Theo opens the plate cupboard and hands her a set of it with some cutlery. “Set the table at least, freeloader?” He says, though his voice lacks all the venom his words otherwise had.
Okay, she’ll have to reconsider if Theo counts as “good company.”
--
Theo barely survives lunch with her and his brother because of how much he gets teased by the two. He might argue that this is worse than being stuck with her and Arthur because since it is Vincent, he does not get the leeway to have a comeback, only able to grumble in displeasure at being see-through. They stuff their bellies not only with Vincent’s famed chicken with herbs but also with a hefty amount of laughter.
She slides back (slightly disgusted) into her costume to walk back home in, confident that many other students will be trudging along the streets suffering the same fate. (“Not everyone wakes up as late as you.” “There’s bound to be at least one, right?”) When she comes out of the bathroom, there’s a book on top of his neatly-folded clothes.
They speak at the same time.
“I could wash these first before giving it back if you—” “You had that with you all this time?”
Silence.
She breaks it with a laugh. “Yeah, it was a Saturday. I didn’t want to break the schedule.”
“You get so thorough about the weirdest things,” he comments, but he takes the bundle in her arms anyway. “It’s alright, I’ll have them. Let me get you a book, too.”
She follows Theo into the studio, where he crouches in front of some bookshelves. Vincent peeps from behind his easel. “You should walk her home,” he offers, as Theo pulls a few books out of the shelf.
“No, it’s alright, I’ll be fine! I’m not drunk or dizzy. The walk will help clear my head.”
“It’s twenty minutes out,” Theo points out, getting up.
“Just promise that if you find me asleep on the street you’ll pick me up?”
Handing Murakami’s Dance, Dance, Dance to her, Theo grins. “I can’t promise that.”
“Oh, Theo, you know you will.”
Even when she is long out of his sight, the smile on his face does not go away. Even as the day shifts into mundanity. Even as he’s carting a bagful of clothes to the launderette. Even as he picks up some groceries on the way home. Even as he prepares dinner for Vincent, who is a few hours deep into painting.
Maybe for a moment, it goes away, but—
He thinks of her and the smile comes back full force.
--
She spends the rest of Sunday recovering and hiding away in her room after the very socially draining party, but by Monday she’s hopped onto her bike and headed for the literature club’s little gazebo. She’s left a message for Dazai, asking for company. Sure, they spent quite a lot of time together in the past week, after having jumped through thrift stores and boutiques for the perfect Night Circus costume (and yes, she made him read the book beforehand too, for good measure) but Saturday was quite a day. She’s brought a couple of cookies for sharing with him, sitting at their usual spot, looking out at the quadrangle next to it.
“Toshiko-san! Sorry we kept you waiting!”
The plural takes her off guard, and she turns to find that Dazai has brought a rather distracted-looking Isaac along, his hands in the pockets of his slacks. Isaac is always dressed so well—she supposes it’s part of the uniform or something of being seen as a respectable professor—but she sure does want to see him dress down once. T-shirt, shorts, that kind—Isaac seems to take everything too seriously.
The pleasant feeling of seeing a friend she hasn’t met up with in a long time is quickly replaced by confusion, as the science complex is nowhere near the Arts building. “Nice to see you here, Isaac,” she says, but also with the lilt of a question.
Dazai answers said question. “He’s here because he has nothing better to do, so I asked him to come.”
Isaac makes a face that’s both resignation and panic. “He passed by my office.” –and dragged me out because he wouldn’t take no for an answer, she finishes in her head.
“I see,” she answers, even though that’s not really an explanation in itself.
She knows Isaac through Dazai, and Dazai knows Isaac through a very peculiar class: Occultism 101.
A class team-taught by three major colleges in the university—the College of Arts, the College of Science, and the College of Social Sciences—Occultism 101 is one of the more controversial classes on campus because of its nature. It goes through a long history of the evolution and persistence of supernatural beliefs and practices among nations in the world, in that nice gray area between religion and science. There are only two kinds of students in Occultism 101: those who believe and who are genuinely interested, and those who do not believe and would like to spend an entire semester saying “bah! That’s not true!” to themselves all the time.
Occultism 101 is typically taught by professors from the College of Social Sciences and College of Arts with backgrounds in religious practices and other mystical behavior (whether in history or art), and then occasionally, in the middle of the semester, guest lecturers from the College of Science come in to give lectures on how these “supernatural events” may be explainable through scientific means. Say, how the piping system in a building can cause haunted “cold spots”, or how floating dust particles can come up in a photograph as “orbs”, or the likes.
And she doesn’t want to be very stereotypical about it, but a lot of people in the College of Science are pretty… well, square, and so no one really wants to teach Occultism 101, even if it’s only a few meetings in a semester. This is how this job ends up to unwilling, no-choice Ph.D. students such as Isaac.
It was just his luck that Dazai was in the section he taught.
“So, Osamu, care to tell us about your little date last Sunday?” she asks, as the other two have taken their seats across her. Dazai swoons a little at the mention of Sunday. Isaac looks at him with unsureness.
(Isaac has had the miserable experience of being the victim of Dazai’s flirtation at some point in time. One can see how that has instead simmer into a rather tentative friendship. All is well.)
Dazai rests his elbows on the table and places his chin on the palms of his hands. “He’s so dreamy.”
“No he isn’t,” she swiftly replies, without thought.
But Dazai pretends not to have heard it. “He’s not looking for a serious relationship though,” he adds. “Not that I am, either.”
“You aren’t?”
“No, sweetie,” Dazai explains. “But he’s my type and I’m his type and we couldn’t just leave it at that so I have his number now, and a little… arrangement.”
The word hangs in between them, swaying.
Oh no, that’s not any good. “What arrangement.”
“You don’t need to sound so concerned.”
“This is Arthur we’re talking about,” she insists, and the name makes Isaac flinch a little.
“Doyle, the med student?” Isaac asks, and she turns to him, blinking.
“You know him?” Remembering Arthur during the party, her mouth falls into a small o. “He knows you too, doesn’t he?”
Isaac scoffs. “Who in this university doesn’t?” Arthur’s pretty well-known to be a flirt. Something like having a checklist of bedding at least one person in every department—a rumor that would have been a little more shameful if the rumors also didn’t say how he was so good at it.
She nods. “Well, fair enough.”
“No, no, he’s an absolute sweetheart to me, so it’s definitely a you problem,” Dazai insists. “It’s just a friendship with benefits, yanno?” He emphasizes every of the following syllables with his tone and his hands: “Nice, big, hefty benefits.”
And even Isaac, who usually refrains from commenting no matter how much he has to say, has to quip with “Terrible choice, really.”
And she has to agree. “I respect you, but not your taste, Osamu.”
Dazai grins. “Understandable.” He picks up one of the sandwiches she’s prepared. “You make it sound like I’m the only one making bad decisions though.”
“Excuse me?”
He turns to Isaac. “You should have gone to the Halloween party. She brought her little boy toy.”
She scoffs. “He is not my boy toy.”
“You sure do have him around your finger though, getting in matching costumes and all that,” Dazai says. “Spends Saturdates with him all the time.”
The only strategy that will work in times like these is straight-up ignoring him. “Anyway—” she begins, about to steer the conversation away when Isaac speaks up.
“It’s nice to hear you’re getting close to other people,” he says softly. Isaac has a way of speaking that makes it always seem like he’s spent so much time thinking about what he said before he actually said it; so sometimes it’s hard to gauge if he’s saying it casually or entirely seriously.
So she blinks. “You make it seem like I have no friends, Isaac.”
“I-It’s not that!” he suddenly blurts. Ah, there. There’s the usual Isaac. “You’ve spent so much time focusing on your work lately, it’s nice to know you’re relaxing with other people sometimes.”
And he doesn’t say it, but she sure does hear it: the you haven’t been to the astronomy club in a while and it’s made me worried about you.
She doesn’t go religiously, but she used to attend fairly often to hang out with the other members and just look up at the stars. Isaac tries to organize at least two sessions in a month, one to look at the moon, and another to point at the stars. She hasn’t been able to catch them in a bit.
But then, slowly, as the image of the view outside the astronomy club’s hangout is refreshed in her mind, the way the physics building rooftop is just high enough to provide a good view of the rest of the campus below, the city downtown, just at the right place on campus that at night, the rest of the sprawling town’s streetlights trickle out like golden LED veins through the threes—an idea begins to implant itself into her head.
Taking root immediately.
She likes to go up here to think. She really shouldn’t have had permission to go up there on her own, in her free time, since they have rules about club hours and the likes, but Isaac is a close friend and gave her a spare key, so she can come and go as she pleases. And sure, the Grove is a nice, quiet place for book clubs and maybe doing homework if one doesn’t need an electric socket, but up here in the astronomy club’s “the Rooftop”, she feels like she can float away into the vast ocean of her thoughts and get lost in them for a moment.
She feels small up there. And that’s a good feeling.
She won’t tell it to Isaac’s face but it’s one of the primary reasons why she applied for the astronomy club in the first place. The stars are great no matter how dumb she is at physics, but the view—it’s really something else.
What does the world look like from the point of view of a star? How tiny are human lives in the vast expanse of the universe? How long have these stars been out there, how long will they stay out there, how much longer will they stay in this universe more than we will?
…This is why Theo teases her for being a literature major: all these goddamn metaphors.
And for a split second, she thinks…
Maybe it isn’t that bad to share that same quiet space with him?
…You know, to talk books.
“About that…”
Isaac and Dazai turn to her.
“Mind if I sneak in an outsider to the Roof?” she asks, facing Isaac with genuine hope in her voice.
Isaac only shrugs. “Do as you please,” he says casually, taking a cookie from her little box on the table.
And she grins like he’d just given her the light of the world. “Thank you, Isaac.”
Dazai shakes his head, because he knows she’s got no denying herself out of this one the next time.
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okay I’m STILL not done the book yet because #life(tm) but some follow up reactions
The entire scene where Calypso and Apollo were trying to escape on the slow kiddy train at the Zoo had me in stitches holy shit
Apollo frantically hitting the gas and Calypso is just leisurely walking next to it while glaring at him??? And the guards? omfg I was dying
Meg’s entrance was dramatic and awesome good for her
Why the fuck is this 12 year old so good at sword fighting she can keep up with one of the deadliest swordfighters of the ancient world(tm)
When Lit threatened Leo and Calypso essentially morphed into the knife emoji on spot. A plus.
I mean I’m just saying: I feel like a pregnant griffin isn’t more important than helping a tortured seven year old girl. But I still love Britomartis so I guess it’s whatever
I love how Lit was going on like he has a score to settle with Leo because ‘he and his friends’ fucked him up in Oklahoma but like....Leo didn’t contribute to that at all like Jason literally did everything during that fight??? That was kinda like important to Jason’s development and shit??? Leo and Piper were golden statues and Hedge was outside eating grass??? Shouldn’t Lit’s anger be focused on Jason??? lol
Idk I just found it funny (I want to see Jason Grace again)
Calypso managing to shove out some magic yeah girl!!!!
MEG AND APOLLO HUGGING EACH OTHER FOR DEAR LIFE WHILE SOBBING: MY ENTIRE AESTHETIC
Leo meeting Meg was way too fucking funny omfg “so I understand you can like...control him?” and when Apollo tried denying it she makes him slap himself??? 😂
How did we fucking segue from lighthearted banter directly into Apollo having a vivid flashback of the time he had to murder the love of his life with his bare hands
Like I??? Was sobbing??? So hard???? Because a batshit insane Roman empire was getting killed by someone who loved him bc it was necessary for the world and the lover couldn’t stand to see anyone else hurt him??? Fuck me???? Rick Riordan ain’t real
“I couldn’t bare to look into the water without seeing my beloved’s betrayed face starring back” or whatever the fuck the line was but FUCK
Jo was a teenage girl crossdressing to fuck around with gangsters in the 1920′s before Artemis found her and honestly??? Goals
Also the scene where she was helping Apollo after his flashback was very sweet
Can’t believe the nerd spent like six hours playing soothing music just to get a griffin to lay an egg
Leo and Calypso better be whispering amongst themselves what I think they’re whispering
Leo seems a lot more...subdued than usual in this book? I don’t know if that’s just because we aren’t reading from his POV, or if it’s like a “I literally died and came back and then spent six months getting attacked every single day while trying to find home and now I’m stuck on another dangerous quest I’m fucking stressed” type thing, or if it could be from the relationship problems he’s having with Calypso, but either way he seems a little off and I’m worried about him
The Dread Pirate Valdez...leave.
How was that joke never made once on the Argo tho??? lol
The speed at which Leo seems to have emotionally adopted Meg is astounding and also #relatable
Meg’s far from my favorite character tbh but like??? I will probably punch everyone who’s ever frowned in her general direction in the face. Holy shit give this kid a break
She thinks Nero is scared of the mystery third emperor on the West Coast??? So....Caligula, probably? Laying my bets down on him now
“I triggered the First Law of Percy Jackson” I had to put the book down bc I was laughing so hard I think that lines gonna end up on my gravestone or as the afterword in my autobiography omfg
“I’ve always had a phobia of snakes, especially if you included my step-mother Hera. BOOM!” I choked.
I like that half the time Apollo is able to figure out what to do to win because he has a general understanding of science
Like he knew his burst of godly voice power would only help so much, but he also knew if he stood in the right spot and yelled in the right frequency it would reverberate and knock over the bricks and shit??? NICE
How long were these kids wadding through a sewer how do none of them have hypothermia
Leo: *sets himself on fire* “Gather round, children.”
Like first off someone saying ‘gather round children’ is always going to make me laugh for some reason that’s just a fact but human torching it up really added to the effect lmao
Like okay I understand the set up of the room so that no one would look in the canal and see them but like...how the fuck did no one realize they were there that just felt too easy I’m sorry
Chia Girl
When they found the prisoners was horrifying omfg???
The two fucked up boys on a hunger strike???
“...Hunter the Hunter?” “Yeah, I’ve never heard that before.”
Tall, Dark and Jamie.
Apollo babe you’re on a rescue mission with a time crunch please you can check out Jamie later holy shit
Georgie made me wanna cry get her back to her Combat Moms immediately
The entire sequence of Apollo getting the door open: S C I E N C E  B I T C H
“Lemme just fill up some syringes with ammonia just in case”
Alright I’ll admit when Meg started insisting she had a feeling they needed to go through the door: I was really worried she was about to double cross him.
Glad I was wrong but tbh that whole arena dress rehearsal bullshit was STRESSFULL
S T R E S S F U L L
First of all: Apollo’s out here constantly complaining about his puny mortal body but manages to fight and climb and run with a heavy ass chair strapped to his back: okay,
Second of all: why did no one warn me about Livia the elephant I was on the verge of tears every time he mentioned her
Third of all: Monsters, ostriches, race cars, basketballs, football, human mercenaries, animals, like...what even the fuck else SO MUCH WAS GOING ON I would’ve died in ten seconds flat???
Fourth of all: let’s just SET THE FUCKING GRAIN SPIRIT ON FIRE WHY THE FUCK NOT. HOW DID MEG EVEN MANAGE TO GET HIM DOWN. HOW DID APOLLO AND LIVIA MANAGE TO CRASH COMMODUS’ CAR TO THAT DEGREE AND HE NOT ONLY SURVIVED BUT THREW THE WRECKAGE AWAY FROM HIM
Fifth of all: THE FUCKING HUNTERS SHOW UP AND CAUSE EVEN M O R E CHAOS. Truly I don’t know how any of the main heroes survived that there was just too much.
The entire time I was reading it I was like “This feels like a giant fight at the climax of the book how the fuck are there more pages left what else is going to happen???” AND IM STILL WONDERING THAT LIKE
Thalia Grace has been returned to me.
Apollo’s strong urge to save Lit??? Okay I guess. It’s nice to see him being compassionate and shit but. I was kinda with Leo on that one lol
“Thalia Grace slid behind me on the elephant, which fulfilled one of the fantasies I’d had about the Hunter, although I never quite imagined it playing out like this” M E
What was his elephant-involved fantasy with Thalia I need a complete play by play lmao
Also the scene where Commodus dropped his composure for a sec and had a full-blown Angry Ex moment (which...he’s definitely entitled to). That was good and also I was highkey worried he might just try to kill my nerd then and there
Also that he’s not just mad that Apollo killed him but like. All their fucking history together. Shit’s intense.
Apollo loves this elephant so much after only like 15 minutes the first thing he’s gonna do when he’s immortal again is bless her or some shit
Also I’m glad they got that awful chainmail off her
The Hunters apparently just have a magical energy drink with mercury in it okay
Honestly??? I’m a little mad Artemis has been ordered not to contact him THE BOY JUST WANTS TO SEE HIS SISTER HOLY SHIT
Aaaaaand that’s about where I left off. Hoping to finish it all together the next time I get a chance. Hoping all the losers are alright. LOVING this book so far. Waiting to see an official reunion between Georgie and her Combat Moms. The Headless Ghost’s cryptic warning has me worried. Until next time...
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