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terraf1rma · 2 years

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RATING PEOPLE'S IDV MAINS: BY A TWO WEEK OLD PLAYER WHO GETS TERRORSHOCKED TO KINGDOM COME EVERY TIME I PLAY AGAINST SCULPTOR (SURVIVOR VERSION)

Emma (the gardener): I love you and everything you stand for goddamn I could be past the halfway point, all the way on the other side of the map and y'all would come running to the rescue, stand in the middle of nowhere to get your shield and save me within the span of half a minute. You guys are great and the reason why I'm trying to become a better Kiter when using Emma 10/10

Emily (the doctor): now with you guys, it's a whole 50/50 on whether you don't heal me or do heal me. Like, I could be doing little fancy twirls around you while being terrorshocked™ and you will either

A) Heal me like a good doctor

B) Continue decoding and heal me after you're done

C) Pop the cipher and leave me as soon as the hunter blinks/teleports over

Solid 7/10

Freddy (the lawyer): I hate the character's existence but the people who main him are fine ig. Solid 5/10 ngl you're either neutral neutral or straight up dipshits but idk I've only been playing for 2 weeks and a half. I mean the fact that you don't get terrorshocked is impressive but...yeah 4/10

Kreacher (the thief): the living embodiment of that one cat post

"am just...little creacher...I...cannot change...this"

To that one kreacher who flashlighted the living fuck out of that bloody queen: thank you 5/10

Norton (the prospector): you either know what you're doing or you don't. There is no changing this. Also reminder to self: never bodyblock for Norton mains unless you want to be yeeted along with the hunter by a magnet 6/10 would've been a seven IF SOMEONE DIDNT YEET ME INTO A HUNTER USING HIS MAGNETS HUH

Aesop (the embalmer): I have no real opinion on you guys. You terrify me and I respect you with the needed amount to continue living. Thank you for sparing me yet another day 6/10 adding an extra point because he's a pretty boi-

Victor (the postman): baby. You are baby. That's it. You could probably kick my shit but still. Baby. Wick is great and I always have to put down my phone to go flappy flap with my hands when I see a notification that you guys are sending over a letter to me because oh my god it's Wick wick my boy my dearest boy- 80/10

Kevin (cowboy man): you. Yes you. I love you. Please, take my hand in marriage and lasso me away from the terror chair- 90/10

Margathea (the female dancer): um I lack the information needed to make a proper thing about y'all but uh you're cool ig i love your skin's too they're so pretty like sir spare me I'm too bi for this world help- 5.7/10

Mike (the acrobat): I've only met one of you and I've decided that I've fallen in love with you help this is the first time I've ever experienced so much inexplicable love for characters help- 90/10 I love you

Vera (the perfumer): I've never seen a toxic perfumer as of yet but the ones I've played with are so cool?? Like sir?? How did you manage to kite that Wu Chang for 4 minutes??? And at half health???? Oh my god the amount of respect is hakshsjkakagsjs unexplainable 10/10 y'all are so cool oh gosh

Patricia (the enchantress): I can't tell if I want to marry enchantress mains or kiss them. They're so nice??? Like oh my god I'm on my way to the dungeon and out pops a wild enchantress main and :0 she stuns!!! I am free!!! She bodyblocks?!!!! I am in love!!!!!!!!! SIR PLEASE LET ME TAKE HER HAND IN MARRIAGE AWOOGA SKSGSKLWHDHSKKA 10000000000000/10 OH MY GOD

Fiona (the priestess): ...I either see you kiting a hunter or I don't see you at all. There is no in between. I was in an all priestess team once and good lord where were all of them when I did my first three cipher kite?? Like I literally went around the whole map dragging along that hunter and they just...weren't there??? At all??? Like sir how many hiding places in the red church are there??????? 6/10 for the coolness of your skill

Luca (the "prisoner"): y'all are either squishy friendly people or the most aggressive lil shits alive. Like I could accidentally come upon you while you're decoding and you're either okay with me decoding with you or aggressively spamming decode another cipher machine. Your ability to shock the hunter is very respected tho and because I love you guys I'll give a solid 8/10 💖

Lucky Guy: you....uh...either stun the living lights out of the hunter or you're just...never there?? Like it's a whole priestess thing with y'all where I never see any of you unless I'm chaired.

Eli (the seer): the amount of skins y'all have is...terrifying. like I was in a duo hunter with like five Eli's and they all had different skins and man. The amount of hooting that came from my phone made my mom think I was watching a terrifying nature documentary about owls eating rats. 7/10 because you're good pure people who try their best

Andrew (the grave keeper): Im torn between protecting you and marrying you. Like you could either be a complete crackhead or the purest shits around and I will still love Andrew mains. I have no idea what to think of his bandit skin tho...😬 9/10 desolate sands makes me very confused

Naib (the mercenary): once again, the amount of skins this man has is absolutely terrifying. Colonel Drax tho.....:lipbite: /hj I have no idea how you guys rescue tho because like whenever I'm in a match it's always perfumer that rescues me and not you?? Like sir I just want to see you once and when you're you know not decoding??? 7/10

Helena (the minds eye): ....how are you the fastest decoder when the person that you main is blind i- I don't get it I really don't. Helena mains are the sweetest things alive but I really don't get them at all. Like what is your ability? How can you decode so fast? Why are you such a terrifying Kiter that people make memes on you??? I just want to see a minds eye kiting before I get sent back to my room... 8/10

Edgar (the painter): I see you guys painting but never putting down said painting. Like...exit gate is open??? Hunter doesn't have detention?? All of us are at half health and you're at full and we're all healing at the gate? What are you waiting for slap it in the hunters face as a bye bye gift- jk jk I love you guys like I've only ever been able to see you guys in duo hunters but oh god your existance contrasts the characters behaviour so much like AWOOGA I am falling in ✨love✨ 70/10 love you mwah- /hj

Ganji (the batter): I've only ever been able to meet ganji mains as a hunter and let me say this once. Y'all are either pain in the asses or clueless fucks that yoink a ball at me like it's some kind of water balloon. Man the fuck up and yeet that shit at me and send me flying back 6/10 y'all are hot ngl-

Anne (the toymaker): the amount of Dutch vibes I get from you are exquisite. You're very nice people but I don't get your skills very much tho you do kinda seem a little...overpowered. confusing but overpowered. I used the catapult once and I literally got yeeted into the gate and out of the manor like sir w h a t is this power Monsieur- 7/10 y'all scare me but you're so nice??

Martha (the coordinator): now lemme tell yall a funny story. It starts with me and duo hunters and the semi innocent suggestion of us all playing as Martha and stunning the hunters at the same time when one of us gets downed. I was the first to get targeted by both of the hunters. Stun the hunters midkite cowards I dare you you have a gun, use it- 8/10 for the gun

Melly (the entomologist): my decided wife y'all are so kind, so nice oh my god holy crap I save you, you save me, we save each other let's go if you main melly please friend me-

Orpheus (the novelist): now I know this man is early access but like lemme speak- you're either great kiters who genuinely want to help or toxic fucks who send me into the hunters arms on purpose (not that I'm complaining when it's a Michiko/Mary/jack/Joseph main-) in conclusion? 50/50 5/10

Emil (the patient): sometimes I main this cute boyo and sometimes I don't but from what I've gathered, we're clueless little shits who have no idea what they're doing. I think. I met like one competent Emil who carried me throughout my kite and yeeted pallets onto the hunter who was uh tunneling(? I think that's the term??) me 7/10 because of bias and personal main

Demi (the barmaid): I humbly ask for your hand in marriage- y'all are so cool like sir I am fanboying all over Demi mains they're so capable?? So cool?? So reliable?? I could be chaired last Galway line with a camper hunter and you'll still pull through for me while drunk off your asses oh gosh 10/10 Demi mains are great keep living your existence is great and that goes for everyone else except for toxic players and that's a fact-

Murro (wildling): A reliable grandpa who will always pull through for me and heal me without any complains and a quick happy lil thank you and a boar to say hello to. I don't approve of the animal abuse that Eli and murro bring about tho but they're very lovable and this is a game and those animals are apparently immortal so I'll give em a Costco half off at best 9/10 took off a point for making the good boar take hits for him thanks for the rescues tho gramps

Kurt (the explorer): a little man that I somewhat respect. If I was actually in game tho I would drop kick smoll Kurt into next Wednesday and no one could stop me. I respect your password pages tho yeah 5.6/10

Jose (the first officer): I am ashamed to say that I've only met one Jose and that was when I was the hunter. He was the first to go down by my Joseph's blade. Let's have an f in the chat for that one Jose who I never got to judge. -/10 cannot tell because I've only had one encounter with this hot man

William (forward): uh y'all are....very aggressive...towards..the hunters. To the point where I feel bad. Because y'all are always the first to get yeeted into the stratosphere. I know one forward main tho. They were so sweet like sir marry me- 5/10

Servais (the magician): ...so. you can uh....multiply huh? Cool.

Tracy (the mechanic): your robot scares the living lights out of me why is it so souless and how do you have so many costumes- you're a great decoder tho and a good rescuer so I'll give a pass on your creepy robot 6.5/10

Ada (the "psychologist"): you're literally so sweet?? Especially when I'm playing as Emil?? Like you'll stick around for me to sprint to you when I'm out of hooks and you'll try to heal me even when I'm kiting and about to die? The first to rescue me no matter what :DD

#idv #identity v #please friend me im so lonely #i didnt even realise i was in the wrong server lmao #im in na/eu instead of asia #too tired to write out all characters #will edit this in the morning #murro mains i wish yall a very great day #terra.quakes #i think #might be a writes #might add idv to the writing list too :D #aesop scares me hes pretty tho so eh

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