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evenstevensranked · 7 years

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#42: Season 1, Episode 20 - “Almost Perfect”

Ren gets a "C" in shop class which means it's the end of the world. Louis' locker is festering with steam and bacteria, so Wexler lets him use a storage closet until it’s fixed. Naturally, Louis makes the best of it and renovates the space into a south-of-the-border themed hang out.

This episode opens with the subplot. We see steam blasting out of Louis’ locker accompanied by “Halloween”-esque tinkering piano. I don’t know why I never noticed the opening line before, but Twitty asks “Dude, are you grilling turkey dogs in your locker again?” Why am I laughing at this?! Louis explains that his locker has had a hot water leak all week. It’s causing moss to grow on his egg salad sandwich and mushrooms to “not only grow, but THRIVE” on his math book. He tries to ask Principal Wexler for help, but.. ya know.. Louis isn’t exactly the most reputable student. So Wexler pretty much ignores his pleas. Probably because he was too busy running off to a meeting with Vice Principal REN STEVENS!

He finds Ren and approaches her all excited like “Guess whaaaat?!” Ren guesses that he finally bought some red car he’s always wanted. I like this because it foreshadows Dirty Work where Wexler DOES get his snazzy red convertible. The big news is that she’s a shoo-in for Student of the Semester. This whole scene is slightly uncomfortable, like most of their scenes together. Their relationship is so weird. He even calls her “the daughter I never had.” Okay. He suggests that she should write some glowing article about herself in the school paper. Why would anyone ever suggest that? How arrogant would that be? Either way, Ren ends up agreeing to said article but instead of writing it herself.. she assigns two little minions to do it.

No, really. Am I the only one weirded out by this? lol.

We meet Carla (Lisa Folies, All That!) and Marla (Krysten Leigh Jones, Remember the Titans) for the first time. They're two young girls who are obsessed with Ren and her ~perfection~. We only see them one other time in Season 2. They’re very eager to impress Ren and dress exactly like her and everything. I never understood how people dress the same as others on TV shows like this. How does that work? Did they break in and photograph all of Ren’s clothes one day and then go out to buy everything??? Do they have cameras in Ren’s room that live stream her outfit choices every morning? And then proceed to reach into their Ren Closet and wear the same exact thing? Like... How else is this even possible at all?

They’re fawning over Ren and asking her what it’s like to be perfect. Ren insists she’s not perfect, but when she’s asked to list some of her imperfections… She acts all cutesy arrogant like “what do’ya know! I guess I don’t have any! *shrug*” It’s a little off-putting.

Louis’ locker water leak has gotten so bad he needs to wear a wetsuit and goggles to school now, lol. There’s seaweed or something growing in there and it’s also the home of an evil life form that somehow materialized. He tells Wexler “I swear to Pete, there’s something growing in there and I don’t think it likes me at all!” Who are these men everyone in the Even Stevens-verse swear to?! Twitty swears to Bob, Louis swears to Pete. Once Wexler sees the extent of the damage, he lets Louis use an old storage closet for the time being. I never got that. Sure, Louis keeps a whole lotta junk in his locker -- but what normal person needs a giant closet for a few books and a jacket? Anyway, Wexler says “make yourself at home” so you know Louis is gonna run with it. Like, I’ve said before... If you give Louis an inch, he WILL take 20 miles.

“I can make this work” he whispers to himself as he observes the closet space, lol. I just realized there’s an actual physical lightbulb next to him, signifying the idea. Wow.

Even though she’s the number one contender for Student of the Semester, Ren really wants to ensure that she gets the title… again. Apparently you get a $25 Honey Ham gift card and it’s really satisfying. Why she gotta be so greedy, tho??? According to Wexler she's already been Student of the Semester for the last two semesters, she’s Student Policy Monitor, lord knows what else, AND don’t forget that she's practically Vice Principal as well. Geeez, Ren! Let some of the other kids have their time to shine. But, regardless.. her plans are halted when she gets a C in shop class, jeopardizing her chances. As you can probably guess, this means it’s the end of the world. Well, what did she expect?! Everyone else constructed things like violins and grandfather clocks. But Ren Stevens thinks she can pass with flying colors by making a pizza paddle. In comparison to everyone else’s projects, hers is honestly worth a D- lol. Sorry, Ren!

LOOK AT HER COMPETITION! She seriously submitted a pizza paddle -- a literal slab of wood -- and expected an A.

Louis decides to turn the closet space into a Mexico-style club. I mean, what else do you expect from Louis Stevens? He has an entire construction team come in to do the job and forges Principal Wexler's signature to pay for it. I feel like this is an episode that has glimmers of the more outlandish, unrealistic plots we see sprinkled throughout Season 2 and super frequently in Season 3. But, the odd thing about this case.. is that it doesn’t seem THAT outlandish to me. I can actually see Louis pulling this off, lol. I’m pretty sure Shia is ad-libbing all of Louis’ commands to the construction workers. (i.e. “Come on, guys! We should have the ceiling fans by now!”)

Something that made me laugh: Ren aimlessly walks around clutching her pizza paddle repeating “C” to herself in disbelief. She walks by Louis and the renovation crew so he asks her “We’re thinking of going with this Burnt Tortilla paint for our walls… What do you think?” and all she can say is “C” …but, Louis takes it as “Si” and I can’t deal with it.

A conversation between Ren and Wexler is accidentally broadcast through the intercom… letting the entire school know that “Ren Stevens got her first C.” Everyone listens in utter shock and some people even rush to the principal’s office just to stare at Ren with disappointment. Everyone held her to a ridiculously high standard and now they’re all depressed and let down because -- SHOCKER! -- she’s not perfect. How dare she!

Because of this, Carla and Marla completely let themselves go and dress like ragamuffins the next day. I feel like there’s a lesson here: Do not put all of your faith in a mere human being, you guys. This is all too extreme. It’s a C. They’re acting like she committed some morally wrong, unforgivable crime. Hardly. However, in Ren’s world, a C is an unforgivable crime. So, technicallyyy she did this to herself. Oops. She eventually decides to “fight back” for a chance to re-do her project, and suddenly Carla and Marla love her again.

Louis unveils the newly renovated locker/closet to Twitty. I love this scene. Twitty walks in and says “Dude, I’m in Mexico!” and Louis is like “Nooo, my friend. *turns on Mariachi music* NOWWWW YOU'RE IN MEXICO!!!"

He proceeds to show Twitty around the small space saying things like "See that? That's not a guitar, it's a bass and I got it shipped in from Meh-hee-co" with the accent. The line that kills me though is "See that matador painting? The guy at the gas station told me it's on real velvet." - Incredible. This line is actually a very obvious overdub. It cuts away to a shot of the painting and Shia clearly recorded this line as a voiceover after the fact. The quality and volume of the audio is totally different from the rest of the scene. Just something I always noticed. Wexler obviously finds out about this when he receives the work order and pays Discoteca Louis a little visit.

“You said make myself at home, so I did. Tropical smoothie?”

Wexler tells him “Stevens. I want you, your smoothie, and your tacky velvet matador painting out of here in 24 hours!” and leaves. Feeling like this is an injustice, Louis decides to throw a muy grande farewell fiesta before the place is torn down. We get one of my favorite lines here:

Twitty: I kinda like the matador painting.

Louis: Yeah. “Tacky”?! HE PAID 12 BUCKS FOR THAT!

Ren goes to speak to her shop teacher after school and we see that his license plate reads “WOOD LVR.” He also tells her “Ren, maybe you haven’t noticed but.. I LOOOOVE WOOD! Wood is ma’lady.” Why do I feel like this is another innuendo? All I can think of is Beyoncé. SERFBORT. Her teacher ultimately gives her a second chance at the project. Of course. All she has to do is make a perfect footstool and she’ll get an A.

There’s a line half way around the world to get into Louis’ party. He has bouncers, velvet rope, and Twitty is keeping track of a guest list. This is so hilarious it’s ridiculous. To highlight how ~exclusive~ the party is, Twitty won’t even let Carly Blaine, his own cousin, in because her name isn’t on the list. Louis eventually turns it into a free for all and allows everyone to go in. How they all fit, I have no idea.

After completing and submitting her footstool for grading, Ren is anxiously awaiting the outcome in the hallway. Here is where we finally get a fantastic character moment from Louis:

Louis: “You ever wanna be normal? You're always trying to be perfect at everything.“

Ren: “What's wrong with being perfect?"

Louis: “It's not normal.”

YOOOOOOO! How fire is that line, though?! The matter-of-fact, simple way he was able to get through to Ren reminds me of something Shia said irl at his #TouchMySoul art instillation. I love caring, smart Louis! Yes.

Ren ends up getting a B- on her footstool. She’s not too happy, but she accepts it. Sheesh! If I got a B- in junior high, it would be up on the refrigerator door! Dang. She says she’s done with being perfect and goes to have some fun at Louis’ shindig.

There’s a Ricky Martin - “Livin’ La Vida Loca” knockoff song playing at the party, presumably called "Casa de Fiesta.” IT GETS STUCK IN MY HEAD ALL THE TIME BUT I LOVE IT. We get a montage of Louis partying it up set to this song, which is truly a vision. Although, I can’t help but feel like Tumblr would crucify him for the cultural appropriation. Or would this count as "appreciation"? He has an authentic Mariachi band and everything. It just hit me -- Where the heck is Tawny?! Surely she’d have something to say.

Louis is shocked when he sees Ren there. This is another one of my favorite moments:

Louis introduces Ren to the band and I swear this is Shia ad-libbing again. (i.e “This is Arnesto! And Manuuuuel!”)

…and that’s pretty much it.

This is a good episode. It really is. But, much like Dirty Work.. This popular and memorable Louis storyline is only a subplot. Also, nothing serious happens with Louis as a character here until the last few minutes. Like I said, I adore his mini speech to Ren. GAHH!! When Louis is good, he is REALLY good. He just busts out some profound crap outta nowhere sometimes. Gotta love that. As usual, this Ren main plot just isn’t as strong. It's so unfortunate. But seeing Louis’ words get to her is touching, and it’s great to see her let go at the end.

Thanks for reading as always! Getting back into the swing of things after my trip to New York last weekend. :)

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