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gra-sonas · 3 years

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Hey! I hate to ask this, you already do so much for us! But would you mind just a tiny recap of Vlamis’ live from last night? You don’t have to go into a ton of detail or anything, I just saw that it was a half hour long. I have a weird anxiety thing that keeps me from watching lives and stories for the most. Still haven’t even been able to work myself up to watching the vlamburn one as much as I’d love to! 🙁

Either way, thank you for everything!

Okay, nonnie. I went and watched the whole thing again and wrote you a detailed account of what’s been said. I’ll link the live again, then you can watch here if you want to. Or not. Up to you. 🤗 Hope this helps. 💕

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Brushing his teeth and flossing for 3 minutes while talking.

800 new follower lately “where have you been before?”

“Do you do anything to your hair at night?” He adds Moroccan hair oil in the morning, nothing at night.

“What’s your favorite of the drop?” He hasn’t seen everything from the drop (like the COSMIC tie-dye) bc he’s in Santa Fe. He loves the COSMIC and MALEX embroidered things (“so subtle”) bc they are in Vlamburn’s handwriting, he loves the Manesqueeze shirt bc you can make Alex and Michael kiss by putting your wrists together. He *loves* the candle (there’s one burning on his bedside table), the silky PJs are great, but he can’t decide on just one favorite thing.

“How’s Jesa’s sanity?” She needs like 3 weeks of sleep. He explains, that while we *are* the Vlambase, the Vlambase merch company’s just Jesa and Vlamis. Jesa has a team, but all the day-to-day things, ideas, emails/customer service (Jesa), the newsletter (Vlamis). They hadn’t collaborated with anyone before Tyler, so working with him was a new experience.

One fan mentions how they wanted to buy stuff but couldn’t. Vlamis says that he’s been there, and when he wanted something in the past he couldn’t afford, he started putting away a Dollar a day.

“Thought on One Direction?” Vlamis is a Harry Styles guy. “Harry Styles’ swagger is next level!”

“What do you think about Russia? Will Vlambase merch be available here?” Talks a bit about how annoying things are with shipping companies, says they wanted to protect themselves for the holidays, and now that the Christmas rush is over, some shipping options have become available again.

“Who came up with MANESQUEEZE” He ponders about it, and settles on Jesa. It was Vlamis’s ides to put tiny Alex and tiny Michael on the sleeves so that they can kiss tho. And Tyler came up with the idea to put a “toupee” on his head (in a previous drop, the NEVER LOOK AWAY design had tiny Alex and tiny Michael on the sleeves, but poor Alex was bald) for the design.

Someone got a MALEX pin and the candle. He knows the pin sold out fast, and he feels bad about that. They want everyone to get everything they want, but it’s difficult to make proper calculations how well an item will sell. The pandemic made things even harder. Like the PJ sets. Normally, they would wait until the sale ends and see how many sets were actually ordered, but during the pandemic, stock listings have been changing dramatically from day to day, so they had to pre-order the PJs and robes to make sure they had a certain number at their disposal. He said that they “overshot” on a couple of things, but ultimately sales have been great, and he appreciates that.

“I’m excited to make the MANESQUEEZE doodles kiss bc I do that with the NEVER LOOK AWAY shirt” Vlamis jumps up and shows his closet that’s full of Vlambase merch items.

“Why am I here, it’s almost 3am” He mentions that he’s been staying up until 4 in the past couple of days, but he has to be on set in 7 or 8 hours.

“Hello, just wanted to let you know that I got a tattoo for you” Vlamis asks for a photo and to be tagged.

“Kyle the packer [Vlamis’s roomie KA, who works in the warehouse when a new drop is ready for shipping]” Vlamis says they’re working him to death.

“Please save this live” He doesn’t know whether he’ll save it. Thinks the one with Tyler was important, but since it’s just him, he doesn’t think it’s important.

“I followed Jesa, Jesa is the real MVP” Vlamis says that Jesa is “a beast, and best in the game”. Quickly explains who Jesa is, and that she’s his partner in the Vlambase merch company. He mentions that she recently called him with an idea for Valentine’s Day, and he was like “Jesa, we need to relax!” But she loved the idea. She’s a big fan of RNM and the characters (and Tyler). “Jesa’s amazing.”

“What about new Soli art [Soli’s the artist who created the Boys Will Be Boys art for a previous drop]?” Vlamis smiles. “What about new Soli art. I like that idea. 😏“

“Your house [in New Mexico] is so cute.” Vlamis says thank you and shows the ceiling of the house (which he likes best). “Santa Fe is dope!”

“I adore your teeth” *shows his teeth* Says he had to wear braces (some even adjustable)

“I could’ve used my birthday money to buy something but I forgot” 🤨 << Vlamis’s face. “How you you forget, man?”

“Back to Twitter after this live” He mentions that he’d just been on Twitter before the live.

He got retweeted by Mountain Dew and loves it.

“I’m from Australia and hope my merch arrives before winter” Vlamis says he hopes shipping will be fast.

“Love the Valentines” They’re not actually Valentines, hence they’re “Love Notes”. Vlamis considers doing them not just around Valentine’s Day.

“You catch any of the CW shows returning this month?” “Might have to” But he knows what he’ll be catching on the 12th. “Prodigal Son, baby!”

“Where did you get the Game Boys?” Those are his Game Boys. He has a Game Boy Advanced and a Game Boy Color.

“How do you feel about Forlex?” *scoffs* 😒 “Yeah”

“So excited for the robe!” Vlamis gets excited. “The robes and the PJs are so comfy!” Talks about how it’s a bit weird, bc they don’t make them themselves.

Several people mention that their closet looks like his closet bc of all the merch and he loves that.

“How do you feel about Forlex” *gets agitated* “Why are you asking me this? Don’t do that to me, alright?” *softer* “Don’t do that.”

“How are you doing?” He’s doing very well. Very relieved that eh sale went well. This drop was like 3-4 months of work, the night before the sale felt like an entire month, too. Jesa and Vlamis Facetimed for more than 5hrs. They set up the website, and that’s how the glitch with the GIVE ME MALEX OR GIVE ME DEATH shirts and poster happened. They made a mistake and only noticed after the website went live.

“Do you know when S3 will air?” No, he thought it might’ve been sooner, but apparently not.

“I love your poetry from the last drop so why no poems this time?” He writes poems when he’s inspired, he hasn’t written a poem in a while. He’s currently preparing to direct his first movie in June 2021, and he’s been very focused on that.

“The Meet & Greet day changed.” Filming schedule changed bc they had snow, the schedule’s changing constantly. He’ll be set all day tomorrow (well, today, Jan 11) from 8am until 8 or 9pm. Sometimes they might even wake up in the morning and learn that the schedule’s been changed.

“You could talk about nothing and we’d still watch.” He doesn’t want to talk about nothing, wonders if anyone has any questions about the sale.

“I’m so excited about the robe. I was going to buy more but I’m broke.” He says we should be responsible.

Someone’s still waiting about their Black Friday stuff, but he says it’s the shipping company, not them.

“Vlamentines" He *loves* that, thinks it’s a good pun.

“Gotta support Aurora.” Always. 🥰

“Jealous Guerin in S3?” You’ll see, you’ll see.

“I placed 3 orders, last one last night. Give me Malex or give me death.” He loves it. He also mentions, that they’re working hard on figuring out how to combine orders in the future so people don’t have to pay for shipping several times. They just can’t do that logistically at the moment.

“Real talk, how often do you check your DMs?” He says, that some people might’ve noticed that he occasionally likes random photos on people’s IG pages. When that happens, it’s a sign that he read someone’s DM. He feels bad when he checks his mentions with a delay, and people’s stories have already vanished after 24hours. He sometimes doesn’t get to checking DMs for a week.

“Will we ever get the original pic of the kiss recreation?” *smiles* *waggles his eyebrows* “Maybe in the morning”

“So happy the Trevor Project was chosen for this merch drop!” He’s very happy, too. According to him, it was a no-brainer. Tyler’s worked with them in the past, so it made even more sense. They wanted to make sure that Tyler felt very strongly about wherever they’d be donating.

People urge him to go to sleep. “You want me to go to bed?”

“Why is your merch not available in India?” *deep breath* “It should be, it’s ridiculous. Unbelievable.”

“Your poetry was awesome.” He appreciates the praise and promises to write some more poetry.

Someone asks whether the movie he’ll be directing in June will be a comedy, but he says it’s the opposite. He’s mentioned in the past that Aurora and him will both act in the movie, but apparently he forgot about that. He doesn’t want to jinx the movie and doesn’t know how much he should reveal just yet. Talks a bit about 5 Years Apart.

Someone mentions that it’s Jeanine’s birthday on January 14th.

“Do (or don?) a face mask, Vlamis.” He refuses. Mentions his friend and roommate Spencer Waldner, who makes face masks.

“If there’s leftover merch, will you do another sale?” He says that most things are actually sold out bc they use Blank Clo’s blanks and will only make what’s been ordered. They might try to restock some pins tho, bc they went so quickly.

“USPS are a joke” He defends them. “They’re a public service, they’re trying hard, guys.”

“You should do a Vlambase drop with the Real Vlamis [a.k.a. Jeanie]” He’s excited and thinks it’s a good idea and asks if anyone’d be interested.

Someone congratulates him on directing his first movie. He points out that he’s directed before (Making It, a 3-part web series, it’s on YouTube).

“Would you ever come to Australia Comic Con?” He’d love to. Mentions that he’s supposed to be in Paris in May for a convention, but he’s not sure whether that’s gonna happen considering how things are currently going with the pandemic.

Some more talk about 5 Years Apart.

Circles back to doing a merch drop with Jeanine. People like the idea.

“Please save this live.” After an IG update, things have changed and he doesn’t know how to do it. In the past he had the option to save it [for 24hrs], now he can only upload it to IGTV.

“$30 shipping to Australia hurts my soul but I did it anyway.” He appreciates that and mentions, that he lived in Australia for 6 months in the past.

“Sing some Bright Eyes” He thinks his singing would hurt people’s ears.

Jesa Joy pops up in the chat and urges him to go to bed.

“Jesa is yelling at you.” Vlamis says that Jesa’s a “yeller”, and that she has a tattoo that says “Don’t yell tho”. He admits that Jesa often yells for a good reason. “I need to be yelled at sometimes.”

Someone asks him to accept a request to join his live. He says he’s pretty tired.

He says hello to someone from Germany (not me btw :P) “What’s up, Germany ✌️”

More people ask him to sing, but he says he cannot sing. He says it’s not like a joke or him being modest, he straight up can’t sing and is a horrible singer.

“Will there be a sequel to 5 Years Apart?” Maybe a sequel called “10 Years Apart” (he’s joking and visibly tired)

“Should I buy anything before the sale ends?” Yes.

Jesa Joy’s from Michigan, and Vlamis’s grandma’s from Middlesborough, Kentucky.

“Is Tyler singing again?” He doesn’t know. “I hope so. Love that kid’s voice” (Tyler’s 3.5 years older than Vlamis :P)

He’s getting sleepy and will read a little bit before bed. Considers drinking some Mountain Dew.

“Do you take design ideas.” Sure. Sometimes he sees design ideas from people they’ve been working on for months, but he’s gonna “steal” an idea from someone, he’ll tell them. He’ll steal it, though.

“Are you still reading SAGA?” He read the first one and is half-way through the second. He’s currently reading a book called “My First Movie” by Stephen Lowenstein. “How cliché.” Aurora got it for him.

Purple Skittles are his favorite. Purple everything.

“Your girlfriend’s the best girlfriend.” She is, she really is.

Asks Jesa Joy whether he should go to bed now.Even though it’s late, he’s hungry. Considers eating something. People tell him to go to bed.

He asks “Should I get naked and put on the PJs?” *waggles eyebrows* “I’M KIDDING, YOU’RE SICK. YOU’RE ALL DISGUSTING.” xD

“Don’t eat!” He laughs.

Says goodbye and says that Jesa’s posted a surprise picture.

“Any advice for aspiring actors?” Tells them to make their own stuff bc no one’s gonna hire them. (He’s being sarcastic). “It’s dark, but it’s what you need to hear.”

“Okay, love you guys. Thank you again! It was our best sale yet. Means a lot to me. Means a lot to Tyler. Us doing so well might mean that Tyler will work with us again. So I really appreciate it. Okay, I love you all.”

Jesa promises to post the pic in 4 minutes. He’s excited. “See, I got her to do it! The picture is kind of ridiculous.”

*pretends to take off his shirt, stops halfway through* “Noooooo, noooooo, noooooo!”

*throws kiss* “Love you guys, good night.”

#michael vlamis #vlambase #mgv ig #mgv interviews #nonnie asks

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destinyc1020 · 3 years

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Dear "You Don't Need to Share This" Anon,

Oh ok, I understand lol. 😂 I guess that makes sense. But I guess my comment was more so towards fans who aren't older than him. I'm more so talking about fans not just around his age,but even those YOUNGER than him acting like he's some totally innocent smol bean,and I'm like, it's just WEIRD to me.... 😬

Like,why does Tom's fandom infantalize him so much?? 😩 I've noticed it before on many occasions, but over the past few years it's just been getting ridiculous!

For example, there are fans thinking he needs to be "saved" from the "cold", "evil" Zendaya who "broke his poor heart"... 😒 Ummm did it ever occur to anyone that maybe they were BOTH hurt by the breakup, and just each coped in different ways? 😥

Or, then there was the era when Anthony Mackie and Sebastian Stan were playfully teasing Tom with a running joke, and his fans came at them like vultures at Comic-Con! 🙈

Then, there were fans wanting to "cancel" Tom,and were having meltdowns over him taking the lead role in "The Crowded Room" where he plays a man who suffers from DID. I mean,the casting announcement (with VERY LITTLE info btw) was barely fresh on the internet when fans were already bashing and criticizing him, begging him NOT to take the role (as if they are his personal career advisors or smthg 😒),and some even going so far as to dm him and other fan accounts to beg him not to take the role. 😖

Then, there was the very recent "Jacob Batalon vs Tom Stans" Social Media War, where Jacob posted a tweeted joke about Tom and Jacob's characters in the SM franchise, and for SOME reason, Tom's fans felt it was an "insult" to Tom personally , and therefore proceeded to go on a rampage attacking Jacob online (as if Tom needs "protecting" from someone who he considers one of his "best friends", and who he's known for at least 5 years now 😒), to the point where even Tom himself even had to come on IG and back Jacob up in support to show that he and Jacob are cool....

Like....why are the fans like this?? It's exhausting. 😩 Are ALL male fandoms this way? Because I feel like I see it the most in Tom's fandom for some reason. 😖

I mean,Tom isn't a little kid lol....😂 Are fans gonna be this way when he's 30 years old too?👀 Cuz how embarrassing if so.... 🙈

It's cool to back up your fave against REAL hate or danger, but infantalizing someone who's a grown adult,or being overly sensitive to every single LITTLE thing, is just weird imo. 😕

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psychicprincesscreation · 4 years

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NUANCE

Edit 7 (7/12): I didn't realize I kept breaking the link when I was trying to come up with a good title lol my bad.

Last two titles: "I'm not your bass-slut anymore." (That didn't exactly fit the narrative.)

"Don't fuck your idols. :)"

Since everyone is talking about accountability, let me put it succinctly: I was 22, this was consensual for me, I was a "groupie" who knowingly emotionally cheated on my then-bf with Bassnectar for months, I broke it off & moved out because I expected more from the relationship than I ever got.

As one person on IG stated: I was just a groupie whose fantasy didn't go the way I wanted it to. Lol it's true, but that isn't the whole story.

I know it's easy to focus on how I was "old enough to know better" and the harmful choices that I made, but don't forget that Bassnectar actively pursued me even after finding out about my boyfriend -- I'm sure he wouldn't have had any problem finding a single girl to talk to instead, given his stature.

He offered me concert tickets, plane tickets, money to buy an apartment, he told me to email him as often as possible, he told me to keep everything a secret and to lie to my boyfriend over and over.

He tried to "save" me with controlling advice about eating, sleeping, not partying (ironic, considering that he is a DJ) not pursuing music journalism, not hanging out with any male friends whatsoever, where I "should" work. This was all before we ever met in person.

People don't realize how hard it is to say no to your idols, especially when they are CONSTANTLY offering gifts that I considered very extravagant at my age.

This wasn't a normal affair; I had absolutely nothing to offer Bassnectar but myself, yet he spoke to me like I was a star. He told me we could "go deep" and that he wanted to "mate" with me.

Of course my dumbass young-adult drug-addled mind is going to fall in love with the idea of him.

CONSENT IS NOT DEFINITIVE. I didn't consent to a relationship as two normal people sneaking around. I became a cheating asshole who was misled by a rich & famous liar. I never said what I did was right -- in fact, I made it very clear that I did something wrong, too.

I also said that my story is NOT as bad as the other accusers'. I absolutely do NOT think that I had it worse than anyone else. I think my story is important because it shows that his behavior wasn't limited to people underage.

Hopefully my candor denotes honesty and by admitting my faults in this situation, people can see that Bassnectar's emotional manipulation was real and calculated, and most certainly did not start or end with me.

Side note: Apparently Bassnectar DOES cuddle... I guess he just didn't want to cuddle me that night. Ouch! :)

Edit 6 (7/12): Too many typos to fix so I'm just leaving them now lol. Added detail.

Edit 5 (7/12): Just because I say I'm slutty and I like sluts, doesn't mean every girl/women who was involved with Bassnectar is a slut. I'm just owning that label to change MY narrative for MYSELF. I really don't think there's anything wrong with being slutty -- it's always the rest of the world that has a problem.

I wrote this stream-of-consciousness, so I wanted to mention that sometimes my statements that involve other women may seem brusque, but I'm on the women's side. I mean to convey disdain for the way Bassnectar treated us (as a secret "harem",) rather than jealousy or annoyance toward the women. I hope it comes off that way, but I don't know who is reading this and how some might interpret my words.

Edit 4 (7/10):

Removed names. A story mentioned in this post wasn’t true. Either just a lie (to make someone look bad,) or I don’t remember it properly ‘cause it’s been so long. If it was my fault: my bad.

Edit 3 (7/7):

FIXED SOME TYPOS!

Edit 2 (7/7):

I like sluts. Stop making us feel bad for wanting love *and sex, too.

Another thought: Bassnectar probably pursued a relationship with me because I had a boyfriend. Therefore, I would be more secretive and would have to take some of the responsibility and guilt in this situation, too. And that is true. I do feel guilty about the lying and sneaking. I think that it was inevitable that I would break up with my then-boyfriend, but it really wasn’t Bassnectar’s place to accelerate the break-up by giving me the impression that Bassnectar would be my boyfriend instead. This wasn’t friendly advice given to me by someone older, this was tactical. It makes me wonder if a lot of girls/women don’t want to come forward because they are afraid that the truth will come out about their own affairs?

Don’t be afraid to tell your story because women-hating assholes try to dissect and expose your secrets in an attempt to discredit you! Bassnectar is the one who needs to be exposed for HIS indiscretions -- this is about what HE did wrong. Edit 1 (7/7):

- Bassnectar told me that he was coming to NYC and because we had an online relationship, I thought that he was coming to see me. My friend told me today that Gov Ball 2013 was the same weekend, so I think he may have actually been in NYC for that reason (I don’t think he was scheduled to play on the flyer,) but I was delusional about it. - I removed the screenshot of his phone number from the post because I don’t want to violate any doxx rules. I am still willing to compare this phone number with other women/accusers to corroborate our stories. :) - This is my story told from my perspective. I was an adult and I’m not posting this with the intent of legal action, or revenge (although I do admit that this relationship was devastating and heartbreaking for me.) I just want people to know what kind of person he is. - My story is not as harrowing as some of the other accusers’, but that doesn’t make it invalid. - Even now, reliving everything hurts me and I wish I could say that it was real, but now that I’m older I am wise enough to know that it was all lies. - I stand with the women who Bassnectar has hurt in similar, or worse, ways.

----

My relationship was short-lived, but it was so eventful for me that I remember it clearly. I'm mentioning many minuscule details because I think that could help prove the validity of other victims' stories.

Writing in bullet points because it's easier for me to sort through the memories. I'm calling him Bassnectar because the "Lorin" I was talking to is someone that I feel hurt and appalled by now.

• I don't have social media/email screenshots because I deactivated my Facebook and Twitter years ago. Bassnectar asked me specifically to delete our emails because his "girlfriend had caught him" and asked me to get rid of the evidence because she was "demolished." (I will go into a bit more detail about that later on.) • I don’t have a “smoking gun” that skeptics are looking for, but that’s what happens when someone asks you to keep everything a secret and delete everything that shows you were communicating.

----

• This happened in 2013 over many months, plus Bassnectar texted me a few times about once a year after our "relationship" ended. • I was 22 at the time. I'm from NYC and frequently went to clubs, shows, events, and festivals with my then-boyfriend (who I lived with) & the same group of friends. • Bassnectar was one of our favorite artists and we'd seen him perform several times in several states. • My friends had a private Facebook group where we'd tell each other about shows and make arrangements to travel/meet up/stay over each other's places. • I was very interested in music journalism at the time and occasionally wrote show reviews for my friend's online music magazine. • I actively used Twitter. I basically tweeted at every DJ we liked, and always posted reply screenshots in our private Facebook group to share with my friends. • Things became complicated with my then-boyfriend, but we still lived together. We had recently gotten back together around the first time Bassnectar DM'd me on Twitter.

• Bassnectar responded to a Twitter pic I posted of our mini-fridge with a Bassnectar logo sticker and said that he "liked my fridge" or something. • I screenshotted this and posted it in my group because he was the biggest artist who had responded to me at that point. • I thought I could use this as an opportunity to interview him for my friend's mag. • After I already posted the screenshot in my group and had responded to his DM, he sent another message asking me not to screenshot him because he "hates that." • I deleted the screenshot from the friend Facebook group. I stopped screenshotting and sharing our conversations with my FB group immediately after he asked. • I continued to chat with Bassnectar via Twitter and said that I was a big fan of his merch and that I bought several things at all the shows I've attended. • I asked to interview him at some point in the conversation, and he skirted over the request. • Instead, he gave me his email (bassnectar2012) and asked me to send him merchandise ideas. • I slapped together a few simple, quick ideas on Photoshop or something and sent them to him.

(I don’t know how to embed a picture on Tumblr lol -- will update.) • You can see that the image I sent is no big deal, and all the files were similar, but he responded as if they were the greatest things he had ever seen. He definitely made me feel special and talented. • We emailed regularly and relatively frequently for days. • Emails are exchanged back-and-forth and eventually I asked to interview him again and he agreed. • I gave him my number and he called me. My then-boyfriend was aware that I was in contact with Bassnectar, with my original intention of interviewing him. • My then-bf was in the room when Bassnectar called me for the first time. • Bassnectar didn't want to be interviewed; he wanted to get to know me. I agreed to just chat at first. • He told me not to call him Bassnectar because that was his "band" and that I should call him Lorin. • At some point he asked if I had a boyfriend and I told him no, even though things were complicated with my then-bf and we were technically together. > I know I'm going to be chastised for doing this, but I've learned years ago that I made a bad choice. Honestly, I still wanted an interview, and I am well-known for leading with my sexuality. This is when I started becoming deceitful with my then-partner. Simply put, I was just more enticed by the idea of advancing my career, and eventually the allure of potentially being Bassnectar's girlfriend, so lying seemed best. Just because I’m flawed, too, doesn’t mean Bassnectar did nothing wrong.

• My then-bf confronted me about not saying that we were together. I felt guilty and the next time I spoke to Bassnectar, I confessed that I was back together with my then-boyfriend and I wasn't single. (I don't remember if it was via text or voice call.) • Bassnectar was upset that I lied, but continued to talk to me nonetheless through text and email.

• He made me feel like my writing was profound and touching, and that we were falling in love. • He would tell me that he wanted to "bring me the sun," or "get me a puppy." He said things that were romantic and poetic and I felt heartened to respond to what I thought was love. • He said he had $10,000 in his mattress and he wanted to get me an apartment in NYC, so I didn't have to live with my then-bf anymore. • He would text me before and sometimes immediately after he played shows then say he was going to sleep by like 12am (typically.) It was easy to keep up with where he was playing via social media. • He offered to fly me to his show in Red Rocks so I could attend. (I didn't accept.)

• He called me from time-to-time and told me not to tell my then-bf who I was speaking to. • One day he had me call a different phone number, which he said was his "home phone." • He told me a story about a beautiful girl named (removed)? Who he had a falling out with because she mentioned that Bassnectar told her that he didn't like Steve Aoki. (I don't remember that story in detail -- I think he was telling me so I wouldn't tell other people when he talked about other artists.) > Edit (7/10): This person messaged me to say that’s not what actually what happened between them. • One day I was speaking to Bassnectar on the phone and didn't answer when my then-bf called on his way home from college classes (I always answered right away.) He asked who I was speaking to and I admitted "Lorin."

• When I called Bassnectar back, he became annoyed that I told the truth and said that I should tell my then-bf that I meant my girlfriend Lauren instead. • I began to sneak around more, lie more often about who I was speaking to on the phone, and texted or emailed Bassnectar almost every single day. • He said we should skip Camp Bisco 2013 and just spend time together. (Obviously anyone who attended Camp Bisco knows that didn't actually happen lol.) • He was flirtatious, charming, and always offered me tickets to events, or sometimes to fly me to where he was. I didn't accept any of this then.

• He told me that I shouldn't do any drugs, not even smoke weed. All of my friends were casually experimenting back then, and I was equally as candid as I am now about everything I did. He told me not to do drugs at his shows, or any shows, and especially not around guy friends. • Me and my friends traveled to see a show in Philly and stayed with friends. When I texted saying I was mostly with guys (my friend group was mostly guys at the time,) he asked if I "felt safe" and offered to get me a hotel. I thought it was unusual because I always felt very protected by my male friends. • He told me that I shouldn't hang out with guy friends, or have guy friends at all. • He told me that guy friends all wanted to sleep with me and I didn't realize it. • He told me I should eat healthier and exercise regularly -- it was very weird and controlling. He just didn’t want me to be myself. • He told me that he had a girlfriend who had two abortions. I think because we were talking about relationships? • He told me that he grew up in a hippie commune and was Christian and he questioned his priest and that his mom was a poet laureate. It just seemed like he wanted me to get to know him at the time. • He told me I was co-dependent with my boyfriend and that I needed to become independent and move out. • He told me I should make lists of my life goals as an independent person and email it to him. • He told me not to tell anyone about us talking. I told all of my girl friends, but it was a "girl code" situation and none of the guys or my then-bf knew what was going on. • We talked A LOT and often, but all of this only happened in a matter of months.

• Time passes and our emotional affair eventually becomes physically intimate when he says that he is going to fly to NYC. This is JUNE 2013! He played at Electric Zoo 2013, but that wasn't until Labor Day, so I'm not sure why he really needed to go to NYC, but it definitely wasn't for a show because me and my friends would have been there. > NOTE (7/7): My friend read this and mentioned that Gov Ball 2013 was the weekend before, so there is a good chance that Bassnectar was already in NYC for some reason and didn't actually come to see me personally like I was led to believe. lol.

• He alleged that he would see me again around Labor Day when he came back for EZoo, too.

• I am from Staten Island, and wasn't totally familiar with Manhattan's layout at the time, but I think that the hotel he was staying at was in Midtown. It's been 7 years since this happened, but I tried my damnedest today to figure out exactly which hotel it was -- there are soo many in that area alone. • If Bassnectar says any of this isn't true, then he's lying because there will definitely be a plane ticket or something with his name on it to NYC in JUNE 2013. > NOTE (7/7): I thought he was there to see me specifically, so the dates he told me was staying in NYC are probably not 100% accurate, but there is definitely some proof somewhere on his end that he came to NYC for whatever reason. The lies he told me are just coverup to make me lose credibility if this ever came out.

• He said he had a hotel for three days. I think it was a Mon-Wed? I took off work those days so I could see him everyday that he said he would be in NYC. If he has no record of checking into a hotel around the time I'm citing, then his manager probably did it for him. I believe his name is Carlos. (I'm going by the memory of what Bassnectar told me.)

• Bassnectar met me in person at the Staten Island Ferry (Manhattan side) and we walked to Battery Park and sat on a bench and talked. • I felt extremely shy and awkward because I knew that by meeting up in-person, I had given up with my now-ex. The whole thing was conflicting and unfair to so many people, but it was too late now. • Bassnectar frequently complimented me in person. He said things like, he was dying to smell my neck, that he loved my wrists because they were delicate like a bird's frame. • He said that he felt self-conscious that he would be recognized because he's used to being recognized in crowds. • He would pet and caress me, but didn't try to kiss me in public. • He told me that he got his hair washed at a hair salon and he gave the hair dresser a ($50 or $100?) tip and looked in the window to see her reaction and she was crying because she was so happy. • He convinced me to go back to his hotel. We took a cab there. It didn't take that long, which is why I'm convinced it was Midtown. He never told me which hotel it was, but I didn't realize it was actually because he didn't want a trail back to him. I guess it worked.

(I'm about to get very detailed about my memories, so trigger warning for making people feel uncomfortable.)

• When we got to his hotel, he became physical with me very quickly, but he said he wouldn't kiss me first. That I had to do it first. So I did. • It progressed into kissing, cuddling, him touching me all over in bed with our clothes on. He dirty-talked a lot. I also remember that he moaned and grunted a lot, and I wasn't used to any of that. • At one point, I untied his hair and let it down and he joked that I was making sure he was really Bassnectar and not his assistant that I was meeting. • He told me about his go-go dancer friend who had fake boobs. I can't remember why. • I remember him kissing me against the wall, and he said something like, I want to fuck you against the wall and hold you up with only my dick. It was way too specific to forget. (It didn't happen, though.) • We inevitably had full-on sex after the on/off touching/kissing/talking. • He said he didn't want to wear a condom at first, but he thought he should. We did, but it felt like a test to see what I would say. • I remember that he wanted me to have an orgasm, and I instructed him which position worked best for me. • He orgasmed by having sex with me from behind and asked me to look back at him. I remember him draping his long hair over my back. How could I forget that? -_- • One of my girl friends texted me ("How are you plants doing?" was our code phrase) to check in and make sure I was okay because she knew where I was. It was monumental for me, so I told her it was great. • I sat on his lap while he looked at his laptop. • We had these deep conversations about life, and love, and the future and it seemed so real to me at the time. • I remember that I told him I was unsure if we could be boyfriend/girlfriend because he was so much older than me (I think he was 35 at the time?) • He told me about about a girl he loved named X who was also around my age. I didn't think it was that weird because I was convinced he still really liked me best, but he probably had so many "Xs" and I was just another one. • At some point, he commented on Facebook (or Twitter?) in response to someone saying he was Illuminati. Honestly, it was like we were two people hanging out because of how normal everything felt after the sexual tension was gone.

• I remember having dinner with him at the restaurant across the street and talking about wanting to be a writer and he said I CAN'T WRITE ABOUT HIM EVER. (So it wasn't normal after all.)

• I remember, back at the hotel, he asked me perverted questions like, can you show me how you make yourself orgasm? He asked me to just demonstrate on his hand so he knew what to do next time. • I don't remember much more because I wasn't planning to stay. • My other girl friend had a job interview that day and we decided to meet at the ferry to take it home together. • On my way out, he walked me to the elevator and he gave me $50 to take a cab to the ferry and to use for a cab when I came back to see him tomorrow. (For my fellow New Yorkers who doubt this story, no, that wasn't enough fare for both trips, so the amount is definitely the truth lol.)

• I went to see Bassnectar again the next day. When I asked him for the hotel address or name, he wouldn't give it to me directly. He said it was because of people stalking him or something. I don't fucking know but it was obvious confusing bullshit and I think he gave me an address that was about a block away. I think he even said he would tell the cab driver the address over the phone. There was a lot of runaround to avoid saying the exact address. (Now the reason why seems obvious.) • My details are a bit fuzzy at this point because I remember meeting him outside the hotel and going up together, but I forget why we met outside and why we were both confused about which street the other person was standing on. • We went up to the hotel room, he worked on music on his laptop, while I sat on his lap and read Trainspotting on my Kindle. • He let me listen to what he was working on, but I don't remember it. I just remember that he was working with female vocals. • He told me he had to meet his guy friend in Williamsburg because his friend was making him lobster. Looking back, it was probably another girl.

• I asked to stay because I wanted to spend more time with him. I texted my now-ex-bf (who I still lived with) that I was staying with my friend. • Bassnectar said that normally he would say no, but for some reason he agreed and left me in the room with the room key and all his stuff. He either really trusted me, or really trusted how much control he had over me to leave me with his laptop. • I left at one point to get pizza, and came back. I watched TV, but couldn't sleep. He got back some hours later and he was drunk off wine, but I just wanted to cuddle and sleep. • He jokingly thanked me for not stealing his things. • Apparently Bassnectar DOESN'T cuddle and made that a point, but he did sleep in bed with me for a bit, before moving to the other bed in the middle of the night. (There were two beds in this hotel room.) • For anyone else who had sleepovers with Bassnectar, you know that he sleeps with his own fans for the white noise. So we slept in separate beds with his own personal fans on. It was all very bizarre. • We didn't have sex this day at all.

• The next morning I went to Duane Reade while he was still sleeping so I could get toiletries and shower since the sleepover was impromptu. • He had a meeting with someone (manager?) who was supposedly coming to stay in the room later that evening? (It was probably another girl though? idk)

• When he got back, he made me go over the list of accomplishments and goals he asked me to email to him. • He told me that I shouldn't be worried about finding someone to be in love with and it should be a lower priority on my list. • He told me that I should get a job at a restaurant or American Apparel or something and get a shitty starter apartment with only girls. • He said that finding an apartment that was pet-friendly shouldn't be a priority at all. I had a pet cat so if I moved out, that meant I would have to leave my cat behind, but that didn't matter to him. • He told me that if I wanted a serious boyfriend, I shouldn't let him see my legs or have sex with him for a long time. • When he finished life-coaching me, we watched a movie together. • He chose Spring Breakers because he was supposedly asked to do the musical score for it and turned it down (that's what he told me.) • At one point in the movie, Vanessa Hudgens jokingly gestures to her friends that she's giving a blowjob, and Bassnectar said he "didn't understand why girls sucked dick." • We had sex once more, more quickly than the first time and with much less romance. I can't remember much because I just remember feeling sad about leaving soon and like he was blowing me off suddenly. • We took a shower together after.

• I packed up my stuff and before I left he gave me $1000 in cash without warning and told me I could use it to help put a down payment for an apartment or something, but I should pay him back because it would be "good for me." > Looking back, when he left for a short while that morning, it was probably to take out cash to give me when I left. • He didn't walk me to the elevator this time and he sat on his laptop while I left feeling very cheap, stupid, and crushed.

• Time passes and we talk less and less. I'm heartbroken, but still make moves to find a job and move out of my ex's ASAP. • I email Bassnectar a diatribe saying I'm feeling hurt and abandoned. I say that I felt betrayed that he made me think we were essentially going to be together after I left my boyfriend and it turned out to be all lies. • I'm having lunch with friends when he calls me and is angry saying that he told me what I should do to make my life better and that he can't just give me a job or do anything for me and that I need to do things for myself. • My friends walk over to the car where I'm on the phone and when I say I'm ready to go, he asks who I'm speaking to and I say, "my friends." • He yells at me and asks why I'm talking to him on the phone when my friends are around (he asked if he could call and I said it was okay, I didn't know we were supposed to be alone.) I tell him I will call him back. • I text him and ask to call back and his mood flipped and he's suddenly super kind and apologetic and tells me he just wants me to be independent. He reminds me that I'M the one who told HIM that he was too old for me and we can't be boyfriend and girlfriend. • I am heartbroken all over again, but I move on with my life and move out within the next month or so.

> I actually did get a waitressing job as per his suggestion and saved money from that + the grocery store I already worked at and moved to BK by August 2013. I didn't use the money he gave me at first because I thought it was a reason for us to see each other again, and I was afraid to spend it in case I couldn't earn enough to pay him back by the time I saw him. (I never saw him again, though.) > In case you're wondering, I did spend it eventually when I started to resent him for blowing me off.

• I speak to Bassnectar very rarely, and only via text. He doesn't call anymore, even when I ask. • One day while I'm at work, he sends me a video of a beach he's supposedly vacationing at. • When we DO speak, he asks for nudes, usually. • When I send them, he says he feels guilty since “he has a girlfriend” and that we should stop. • Contact is so infrequent, when we catch up about my life, he gets annoyed if I mention I'm seeing any guys, but I never think he really cares because he stopped caring about me a long time ago. (If he ever did at all.)

• I still tried for months to maintain any kind of relationship with him because I truly thought we had something special, but he was always too busy for me. It fucking sucked because he was always in the back of my mind now that I was *~independent~* like he said he wanted me to be so many times.

• One random day when I was too busy to chat with him, I remember he actually DID call me because he said he lost a sound file and wanted me to record myself saying "I really like it." A few times to use on a track. I guess I took too long to get back bc 15 mins later, he texted to say he got it from someone else. I couldn't do it anyway because I was dealing with some other personal stuff. I forgot about it soon after. • I didn't listen to the album NSVB for a long time after it came out bc I was still hurt, but when I did.... I heard that fucking sound bite in whatever song it's on (I really don't care to know) and it fucked me up. • I was conflicted thinking, shit, did I blow my last chance for "us" ? I was still hung up on this asshole as if he were just some ex because of that emotional manipulation. • Would that have solidified what we supposedly had? Or would that have just been another way he used me? I began to resent him.

• Fast forward a few months and I'm drunk with my girl friend at home and text Bassnectar for the lols. I say that I should ask him for tickets to BASSLIGHTS 2013 in VA to make up for him being such an asshole. • Surprisingly he agrees on the condition that I only go with girl friends, don't do any drugs, and say that the Tix are left for me because I interviewed him. (Don't forget that no interview ever happened!)

• Before Basslights, he texts me and even asks me what songs he should play and I don't realize he's just stringing me along. Presumably it was just another plot to hook up. • Before we leave for VA, my friend who is driving admits that one of her OTHER friends secretly knows Bassnectar so we might be able to get into some party or backstage. Sooooo I guess she was another one of his "harem" that he was having a secret relationship with. (I don't mean anything negative towards that girl/woman, just that Bassnectar probably saw us this way and was playing *at least* the two of us at this time.) • My friends and I drive from NYC to VA and miss Bassnectar's set the first night because we arrived late, but the Tix were waiting for me at the box office. • If you get Bassnectar's guest list for Basslights 2013, my real name is on there. I'm sure a lot of other girls he manipulated are on there, too. • Bassnectar texts me and asks what I think of the show and I say I missed it. • He says he was thinking of me a lot during the show. • He texts me saying I should let him "vroom vroom in my girl power." Obviously he's alluding to sex, and I show the text to the friend who was at my place when I asked him for the Tix. He won't send a cab to get me at my hotel when I say sure, though, because he "has a girlfriend" again and he would feel bad. Maybe he was annoyed that I missed his set, maybe he picked someone else, maybe he actually was with his gf? Whatever. • I told him I didn't feel comfortable texting like that anymore because he said he had a gf. • He tells me I'm a good person.

• I am so hurt that I don't answer his texts at all anymore. • We go to Basslights night 2 and I get suuuuper fucked up with my friends (because fuck him) and have an awesome time and disassociate Bassnectar from his controlling bullshit. • I ignore him all the way back to NYC and just text to say I'm home. • He sends me an URGENT text saying that his gf suddenly found out about his gross infidelity and begs me to please delete all of our emails and texts. • I'm stupid and kind and fucking over him so I do it. He knew I would because he knew I was too nice of a person not to. • Bye bye evidence, though. :( I regret deleting those emails even now because I knew this misconduct shit would come out eventually with him.

• LOTS OF TIME PASSES. Now and again, Bassnectar would text me just to say what's up and I'd barely respond. This only happened approximately once a year. • I'm pretty sure this was just to make sure he was on my good side and there wasn't a chance that I was going to expose him. • I think the last time he texted me first was all the way back in 2016.

• The last few times we spoke were when he had a cancer scare and I texted to say sorry. • When I went to Moonrise Festival, I asked if we could meet and he blew me off. It's been so long, I didn't really expect him to say yes, but it was worth a try. • When me and my friends went to Electric Zoo and he closed, I texted him saying that we couldn't hear well from where we stood and left early. I think he was offended because he replied saying that no one else complained. • The last time I spoke to him, I knew he was playing at an event near me and asked for tickets again so I could see him and he said he would be with his girlfriend. It was a one-off thing and I thought it was worth the try. •There were no cordial conversations in-between the times I contacted him at all. Just me being lonely and single and still hanging on to this idyllic version of him that never fucking existed in the first place.

• I'm much older now and I know that a lot of this happened because of choices I made, but I was 22, starstruck, in a confusing relationship, partying, and desperate for an ethereal love that I sought in that music scene.

• I bet Bassnectar specifically targeted girls like me because (at least in my case) I was depressed, pumped full of mind-altering chemicals, pretty, and lonely. He acted like I was a unique, artistic, lost soul and he made me believe that he was the only one who could save me.

• At 22, you don't realize that a man 13+ years older than you shouldn't be asking you to keep your conversations a secret from everyone, asking you for nudes, asking you to lie to/break up with your boyfriend, inviting you to hotels, offering you gifts, and straight up giving you cash that you didn't ask for.

• But that man DEFINITELY knows he's doing something wrong, otherwise he wouldn't be sharing that hush money with you, or asking you to hide and delete everything.

• Because he would text me once in a while saying something like, "You cross my mind all the time," it would be enough for me to hang on to this hope that *maybe* there was still a chance. I couldn't see that it was just another manipulation tactic that worked well on me because I was still feeling the effect of the emotional annihilation from so long ago. :(

• I loathe how he made me feel for so long and it breaks my heart to know that there are so many other girls who were taken advantage of in worse ways by this egotistical LIAR in his position of power. Seriously, Bassnectar, fuck you.

ALSO: not sure if this was his burner phone or what, but here are the last two digits of the # he always contacted me with (sent in the DM). If any other victims want to corroborate by comparing numbers... Let me know.

(I REMOVED THE SCREENSHOT OF THE PHONE NUMBER IN CASE IT VIOLATES ANY DOX RULES, BUT I CAN SEND IT TO YOU DIRECTLY IF YOU ARE CONTACT WITH ME!) :)

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#eab #bassnectar #metoo

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hentaiibb · 4 years

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・。◝ ( 20, she/her , female , kim yerim/yeri ) i just saw SUNNY KIM , sorry , **IBIZA leaving the headquarters , listening to OBLIVION by grimes . even though the DRIVER has been working for the crew for two whole years , i still wonder how did they end up here all the way from LOS ANGELES, USA ?? do you also think of petal pink acrylics turning the pages of kimetsu no yaiba, circle lens glares behind heart-shaped glasses, pouty lips sucking on mint juuls, and iridescent stickers when you see them ?? it must be because they're so assertive and energetic , but also kind of ditzy and obnoxious . ( joo , 20 , she/her , gmt-8 . )

owo what's this? hewwo this is ya giww joo bwinging the wowwd's biggest cwackhead n DAB, tanjiwo's futuwe gf : 𝓼𝓾𝓷𝓷𝔂 𝓴𝓲𝓶 >w< >w< you can find me on discowd at suck dick get hit #3474 ow dm me hewe.

u see, here's the thing abt sunny she's dumb.

and not just the "maybe they just need a little time" or the "she's faking it, there's no way someone can be that bad" she is DUMB. but that's what happens when you spend your freetime sneaking out of class to watch anime on your phone, trading in boba stamp cards every weekend, flirting with your calculus tutor instead of actually learning.

so why the fuck would someone that probably believes the earth is flat if an IG post said so be recruited?

- koreatown is boring because of all these dumb korean christian kids that only live for retreats, you live your fantasies through sexy anime mecha - you spend your days at the commercialized arcade playing rhythm games, racing games, and claw machines. people notice your fast reflexes, maybe you're onto something. - your bitchass gets into cosplay. they're terrible. people make fun of u and they r right. you become a little depressed, but anime's cousin, league, saves you. - high school kinda sucks 'causes you're broke as fuck but you wanna look cute like those dumb kids who think they're gonna be the next kpop star. so you stop shoplifting. haha fuccckkk capitalism - your friends are dumber than you and call you for help. you, who has forgotten everything on your driving test, push the pedal and rescue them.

- wow, you seem to be good at something.

- you become the getaway driver, speeding away in your 2002 honda civic. people are terrified that the car will blow up at die, but you aren't even aware how much damage you're doing. - your makeup skills are improving, your clothes are quality, and you can afford your 9-step k-beauty. word spreads on social media and underground. - people start hiring you for their personal getaway reasons ; your only demands are a nice car, some cash, and controlling the aux. - belle delphine becomes your idol. fuck college, stupid nerdy losers. you're making bank driving nice cars recklessly, streaming LOL, and watching all the anime you want. - you have talent, but you can't manage it, making poor deals that can leave you in danger or screwed. your quick reflexes from years of arcade and league are handy at getting out of situations, and you own so many cosplay wigs & contact lenses that it's hard to decipher what you really look like. - so the professor comes with an offer: work for him, shut down your twitch. in turn, you get to mod your own car, have premium anime accounts, and some money. - you're dumb, but not that dumb; you negotiate. you want a boob job for anime titty physics. - the professor stares at you. - you say that your decision is final. take it or leave it. - ok, boob job it is.

- when not on major heists, you're busy ranking in league, selling sexy cosplays on patreon, and thinking about tanjiro.

- selfish, dumb, and annoying. - “whERE’S MY JUUL” - human adderall, may or may not pop one before heists to have a little fun - will not drive "until we are vibing". aux has to be hers. will range from vocaloid, to questionable psychedelic ambient music. - kinda unreliable bc she's too busy binging something to respond - always wearing acrylics, will remind you "most people can't do ____ properly, but i can with claws." - materialistic for the wrong reasons ; will probably not know nor car about the heist goals, but will be excited at the prospect of buying a new wig. - will ask a lot of questions then interrupt you with fake knowledge that she made up. - will tune you out if you talk too long - will call you ahjussi/ahjumma if you're korean and older than 25 - ok she sounds really bad, but she's not terrible - she's a chihuahua ; all talk no bite - will cry if you're too mean to her - will deliver u food if it is convenient - very proud of minor accomplishments, like frying an egg - kind of like an overbearing child - self-conscious of her intelligence - at the end of the day, she just wants some support and praise, after being neglected all of her life - and yeah, she's not the kindest person or the most useful - but she tries her best sometimes, and that's gotta be worth something.

>>>

i promise sunny isn’t too overbearing !! but i did want to portray a weeby, attention-starved child who jus wants a little acknowledgement in life. her dynamics are fun to play with, so pls hmu ! ! i lov plotting.

#elusive:intro #𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙩𝙩𝙤𝙖𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙪𝙩𝙚 ; ooc

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typicalhippiegirl · 4 years

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Let's talk about something.

First off, I'm not putting this messed up, peely, gross looking tattoo up for anyone to judge (I'm not happy with it either). I'm putting this out there to help others learn from my mistakes & hopefully prevent them from going thru what I've been dealing with.

There's a tattoo expo coming to town with featured artists from out of town. I find one thru IG whose work looks clean & I like her style so I DM her about setting an appt. Shes got time this weekend yay! no waiting for the expo. -Do you see the mistakes I made already? It's so obvious to me now😓

Saturday's here, I head to the shop (for the first time) for the appointment & the moment I walk in it's like Uh, wtf? Half the shop is taped off & in the middle of a remodel (no dust or active working, just shit all moved around). I brush it off, theyre getting things ready for an expo right? They need people tattooing there, not playing pool so ya, no wonder it's a bit messy.

Next she shows me the stencil and its fuckin huge. Like I specifically said between 6-8 inches max bc it's going on my forearm & i'm not Stretch Armstrong. Shes like Oh I kept it between 8 & 10. Well ya didn't fuckin listen bc what woman has arms that long? So it's resized & idk what we were casually talking about but she def rolled her eyes at me. Look man, I'm a pretty easy going person and depending on the situation I may take a slight without saying shit. Also like low self confidence helps with that right? So anyway, at the point I should have been like Alright dude, we're not really clickin & I'm not feelin this anymore & walked TF out. I didnt. Like an idiot. I'm not gonna lie, part of it was losing put on the deposit the other part was just me telling myself it would be fine despite in my heart of hearts I knew it wasn't.

So we start. Yo, she's a Fuckin. Bitch. I wanted a theme right, this chick is supposed to be a Texas pinup, I wanted certain colors in her clothes. I asked "What colors are we thinking for her?" She actually scoffed and says "These ones" while motioning at her cups. Wow. Ok, well, fuck I don't want to ask her anything anymore so I shutup & go with it.

This shit HURTS. I'm not a pussy when it comes to pain. I have several tattoos, including fingers, toes and a whale that was particularly painful because it goes directly over my very bony shin. I've been cut, I've had a baby without drugs. Mags remind me of getting a razor cut and I find pleasure in the feeling. I can tolerate some pain and this shit sucked. Yo, at the end she switched down to a single needle and that was KILLER. I felt like I was being carved into (which, if you'd ever seen my back you'd know, I know the feeling).

Alright so finally we're finished & I roll into the next day. I'm a bit worried about the appearance and not just bc she looks like she broke her leg. It looks wet. I continue my aftercare as normal: antibac soap & aquaphor. Day 2 I'm researching infections bc it's super painful, red but mostly it's wet. I'm afraid of infection also bc this chick had the trash can right next to the station. I mean Right. Fuckin. Next to it. To the point that the trashcan lid fell onto the pad where my arm is. I want to ask her to move it but she's in such a bad mood I think it'll just make things worse & she'll be even rougher. By day 3 I've tried antibac goo & it seems to make my skin bubble where its been applied so I quickly quit using that. My arm hurts so badly at this point I cant put it down without getting shooting pains up my arm. I let it dry out so things are crusty but at least I don't find them medically disturbing. Regardless, I spend a lot of this day crying. Day 4 I'm still researching infection and come across overworked tattoos, scars & "hamburgering" My heart pretty much drops bc this is it, this is what's going on. What's even more fucked up is that I find this on forums for people learning to tattoo. Like apprentice's first few tattoos having this problem. Rookie shit, ya hear?😑

The pictures are from day 5. You can see splitting along the black lines, there's holes in the sun & near her belt. Oh and that's a thing. The hole is the sun is bc somehow a drop of green got in there so she went over it and over it and over it again with more red. Can you imagine my frustration at that point?

So look, I got this done Saturday, here it is Friday. My skin is very shiny and puckery where the peeling has come off. The scabs are thick af, I've only been moisturizing the places safe to so as of today almost everything but the cactus. Did I mention my arm still really hurts? I can't straighten it, there's pains that shoot out from the center, and why why why is my bicep sore?! I'm really worried about how the cactus is going to turn out. My skin looks bumpy between the cracks of scab. I think she used a crappy cheap green. I'm really left wondering about her experience as a tattoo artist. I'm just saying: My first tattoo was done by a scratcher in a dirty apartment bedroom. He did such a shitty job that I took the machine from him & finished it myself. Might I mention I was 16 and completely coked out of my mind? Also, I didn't hamburger myself and there was no scarring over that disaster of a tattoo (which thankfully no longer exists thanks to the aforementioned painful whale)

This whole thing has fuckin sucked. I don't want anybody else dealing with this. Let me outline some things I should have done differently so if you find yourself in the same situation you can make better decisions than I did.

1. If you're looking on IG for an artist make sure they also post healed pics not just fresh ones.

2. If you're not vibing with your artist it's ok so call it off. Look, a 60$ deposit aint shit to lose in the grand scheme of things, can you get a cover up for 60$? How about bad work or a bad experience lasered off? You can't get those deals, oh who knew? Sometimes losing money is saving it.

3. Don't get shit from travelling artists. Maybe they woke up a 3am & drove 8 hours & now they don't give a shit about anything but going home.

4. If the shop doesn't look great, walk out. Again, whats 60$ compared to your health and happiness?

This is a long post & it's not something I usually post about (lol who am I kidding? Personal tragedies are kinda my thing). It's embarrassing. I'm embarrassed how she came out, I'm embarrassed I didn't speak up, I'm embarrassed I didn't just go to the person I knew could give me a good tattoo. It wasn't even about money, I didn't get a deal on this pinup mess. All I can do is move on. Thank goodness this wasn't my first piece or I may have been totally turned off from getting anymore ink. Now all I can do is continue my aftercare, hope for the best and when the time comes I'll go visit Vinny at American Tradition and get something else on the backside of my arm to distract from this mess.

Much love my inked up friends❤

Hey and if this speaks to you like you've been in this situation or are currently in it, feel free to DM me.

#tattoo #tattoo help #tattoo problems #lets talk about that #hamburgering tattoo #tattoo scar #fucked up tattoo #bad tattoo

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norman-reedus-gossip · 7 years

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bulk

--mod--

You know how it goes

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Anon:  Am i the only one that actually dont believe that they are dating? There is none proof that they are dating or in a relationship , in fact i think Diane is behind this , im sure there have been " ilove you" text around those 2. And dont you think she will be seen at all the events he went in 2016? Steve's wedding , the concerts , and traveling with him (ofcourse except the Paris thing) . Like Mod said and what i also believe , they prob just friends with benefits 😉 

 Anon:  Sorry to bother you but is NR and DK "dating thing" official or not? This situation is such a mess that I can't understand anything 😂😂😂 --mod-- Right now it's still just rumor and speculation

   Anon:  OMG MOD! So it was all about publicity wasn't it??? She did that to get her name out there for Oscar weekend. I feel so much better now. They can't state a denial and then be caught again or it would look HELLA bad  Anon:  i think that i'm just sad because he isn't single anymore ahahahah is that bad? --mod-- Not at all  

Anon:  I don't understand how they could be together. She embodies everything he hates (glitz glamour hollywood) She also screws with his fans worse than CS. Are they really going to go walking around holding hands like she did with JJ? He doesn't do that shit. And what about attending award shows? Are we gonna have to see her stupid face every time he goes somewhere? I think I quit. If he's with HER, he's exactly the person he said he wasn't. I so hope it's not true

.    Anon:  Holy Heck, at this point I don't think a denial would even do much. Consider that when that old EK story broke in TMZ and People he denied it by then, but there are still fans who believe they were (or are!) together even though she hasn't been in GA in two yes and has a long term bf. On NR's newest post are some comments to "pls clear up the DK rumor and admit you're still with EK". Like...what? More ppl follow tabloid gossip than follow NR's IG I guess.

  Anon:  Do you think Norman even knows or cares about disappointed and sad maybe even disgusted fans? Seems like the majority of them don't care when you read through the comments on his ig picture. i kinda wish he'd get more backlash. -- mod-- He is filming right now and being down or whatever doesn't make for a good show

  Anon:  I think as fans we put Norman on a pedestal and expect more from him than a non celebrity. Yes he spoke of his dislike of cheating but no one likes to be cheated on. If the rumors are true he was on the other side of the fence this time and might have felt different. But he ain't no saint! He's just a dude. I'm not condoning his actions either way and DK has a history of being vile, but that doesn't seem to matter until it does. If ur taking this personally, take a breather. Its not gonna last

.   Anon:  nurseyanon: I don't care/never have about Norm and DK. It's not like we're engaged or anything...I do have a date every Sunday night (when I'm not working and saving lives that is!) to watch him and my beloved Crazy Rick kick ass. I don't know what Norm is like in real life, I DO NOT plan to attend a con or a cruise to meet him, I certainly am not going out of my way. I confess an attraction to Negan, or JDM, or sorta kinda both???

    Anon:  With all the kindness and consideration he's shown over the years he deserves better fans than this. Choosing between the actor who's Skyped with dying kids or people being cruel on the internet I'm going to stick with NR being the person I continue to prefer. No one is speaking for me when they say he's let fans down or owes us explanations. I'm not upset whether its true or not and he owes me exactly nothing. I'm ashamed by some of the behavior I'm seeing directed at him.

  Anon:  That Norman or his reps didn't come out as of yet tells EVERYTHING. He denied the Emily rumors years back immediately. The rumors with DK are going on since almost a year now and he still didn't say anything. Disgusting, gross and ridiculous! Makes him look like he's got no balls and is such a wimp if he can't even admit it. I hope he gets backlash, I get why fans are hella disgusted and disappointed in him. Seems like he's definitely not the man he claims to be. And that is disappointing.

 Anon:  Honestly: that neither Norman nor his reps said anything or denied the DK thing yet says it all. He denied the EK rumors within 2 hours and even made fun of it. He went all silent now and doesn't say anything at all. Actions are sometimes more proof than words. They are dating if you want to admit it or not. I for me lost all my respect for the man and it's not about being jealous. It's because he claimed to love honesty yet he looks like a big liar and fool.   

Always-hopeful: Mod I know I'm late to the party but I just woke up, checked the news, and I have to say I'm stoked that it looks like Norman might be finding love again! And who really knows what he and DK are like, they might be very good for one another, who knows! And as for people who are upset because he "lied?" How'd he do that exactly? I'd want to tell those people to not judge unless they've walked a mile in his (or her) shoes. That's all I want for him (and told him so at WS ATL), peace & happiness.

  Anon:  My God.I don't know what the hell to think.I have always adored Norman and the way he brings Daryl to life.He seems to be such a captivating,interesting person.I want to be on his side still,but the rumours leave a bad taste in my mouth,I can't help.There is so much confusion,nothing fits together.For all we know he could have simply driven her home because she had all these bags.But the rumours just won't die. And he should be smart enough by now to avoid her.Why does he allow her to do this?

--mod--why do any of us keep the company we do. It's all rumors at this point so maybe wait and see what happens in the coming days and weeks.    

Anon:  Also notice how Norman stopped liking DK's pics on IG. Probably because he was with her all the time. He also didn't go back to NYC THAT often before in between filming last year. He did it to see her, come on. It grosses the hell out of me to just think about it. He's such a good actor, making himself look like he's an honest man yet he's the opposite.   

Anon:  Hey Mod, I just saw all the talk, is it true or just another rumor? How come these pics always come out right when there's something she's doing that she wants attention for? --mod-- Right now just rumors. No ideas why they dropped on Friday when they were taken days before.   

Anon: Do you know if Norman is currently getting a lot of hate for the shit he did or not? I don't follow Norman blogs on Twitter or Tumblr/IG so I don't see anything. Would like to know if people are more disgusted or happy for him. I can't believe one could be happy with what he did, lying and probably cheating like how can one support his behavior? Nothing to be proud of. So anyone knows what the majority of his fans think? --mod-- He's getting both. I think he's fans are divided into like 3 groups those that hate it, those that approve and those that don't care.   

Anon:  Nothing makes sense Mod. If this was supposed to be him coming out w/ her, (since the pics were obvs set up), then why didn't he do it on Valentine's Day instead of leaving a day early /ignoring it? &why did he go out w/ Jarah to bury the rumor if he was still gonna come out w/ DK a month later? If it's true it looks SO much worse now b/c he went out of his way to hide it again even after ppl were talking about Paris. So it looks like he lied twice. Either it's not true or he's REALLY stupid. 

--mod--

No those were pap shots. Those aren't they type of shots you get for "coming out"

.    Anon:  One question: were the pictures taken in Norman's NYC garage or upstate. If it was upstate she might've helped him with stuff since he's going to move there. I don't believe it myself but it could be just helping a friend. If it was in his NYC garage it's kinda weird. They unloaded a whole lot of stuff, even cartons. Looks even a bit as if it might be her stuff and she moved to his appartment? Can someone help me out, I'm lost. Because to me it doesn't look like just stuff from a shopping trip? -- mod-- It was taken somewhere in NYC, so not upstate. His place in NYC doesn't have a garage. Side note he's not moving permanently upstate. That home is already set up.

   Anon:  Total speculation but I can't help but think that when NR was with HC over the holidays maybe she warned him about DK's..love of tabloids and to steer clear if they were just friends, fwb or exes? Now, even if she set it up, he was physically in her parking garage just last weekend. Its not like it was a random super old pic her people gave to DM/TMZ. It's new. So as crappy as it is for him to be set up I can't be sympathetic because, how could he not see this coming?   

Anon:  I guess for me I am just really having a hard time understanding why someone would want to keep their relationship so secretive. If they are dating. Unless the cheating rumors are true and they don't want anyone to know. I would think if you love someone you would want everyone to know. The possible cheating is the worst part for me. I guess if the cheating rumors wind up being true then it will make me see him in a different light. I am definitely still a fan of his movies and TV shows. --mod-- Again at this point it's speculation at minimum they are friends. So we just have to wait and see how things go from here    

Anon:  So people are just going to ignore all the good things Norman has done? He's seen with another female and doing things what friends do and now he's the devil. People need to stay the fuck out of his personal life and stop acting like 13 year olds. He isn't some band member. Chill out.   

Anon:  It used to be DK deleted every comment about Norman on her IG posts but now she is only deleting the negative ones. She's keeping the comments that say they make a good couple and all that. I'm taking that as a confirmation to be honest.    Anon:  Is it official that norman and diane are dating or in relation? --mod-- Nope    

Anon:  Do you think it's all true Mod? I was so excited for RIDE now I don't even care. It's like he's not the same as we thought he was.

 --mod-- I don't think it's true. Even if it was it doesn't really bother me.

    Anon:  So I'm annoyed with Norman's "choices" like others and totally see this TMZ "photo scandal" as an attempt by the untalented DK to "stay relevant," the timing / Oscar weekend is so convenient. However, my main gripe is...why does Norman look so greasy and in character 24/7? Others in the ZA have bathed and cut their hair, and in that Georgia heat it might feel better while slaying zombies. His gross factor is turning up. --mod-- Feral Daryl makes the world go BOOM 💥. I have no idea where that come from.

.   Anon:  Did you see what they all unloaded from his car? It looks like it's someone's whole household stuff, bags but also bigger cartons. I wonder if it's her stuff and she moved to Norman's house? That's not just stuff from a usual shopping trip 😷 Or can someone help me out? --mod-- Just stuff from a normal shopping trip. She isn't moving in.

    Anon:  I really don't want to believe NR and DK are a couple based on a couple of pics of them hanging out but it's so weird that NR isn't denying it. We've had these kind of rumours before. It was TMZ who also released the "NR and EK are dating!" story and NR took to social media to deny it AND had his reps deny it too within hours of the story breaking. But this time... nothing? I'm starting to think he can't deny it because it's true.   

Anon:  Even if it turned out to be true , i would be dissappointed in Norman , but do we actually think he is that stupid? To love a hollywood woman thats been acting like a diva? He isnt even like that , she will hate his fans and try even more attention from all the media. I really hope his people says something about this situation because this is going to give him a bad reputation 😖

    Anon:  Some things are objectively clear 1) DK, who has a deal with DM, orchestrated the pap pics *without NR's knowledge or consent*. She arranges weekly pics with DM and this time they just happen to "catch" NR--in her garage? 2) The content of the original articles (DM TMZ) is a lie. She wasnt upstate with him 3) DK was aware the pics, article (and lies therein) were gonna come out, but NR wasn't, it seems. Doesn't seem like something a loving gf or even friend would do. Thoughts?    

Anon:  Tripping across the dark playground 🤐. It seems like she 'confirmed' by liking insta comments about him being good at hiding the relationship. --mod-- New favorite phrase "tripping across the dark playground" I'm stealing it anon    

Anon:  why are people so upset about if norman and diane turns out to be couple? I dont really follow them to much but I cant see the problem.. --mod-- Mostly because of the cheating allegations if they've been together. She was in a long term relationship which ended.  

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womenofcolor15 · 4 years

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Porsha Says She’s ‘Done’ With The ‘Clown’ Ish & She’s About To ‘Tell It All’! - Is She Coming For Dennis (Again)?

Porsha Williams is fed up with clown sh*t and she’s posting cryptic messages on social media. Folks can’t help but to think her fiancé Dennis McKinley could be the cause. See her posts and decide inside…

Just a few weeks ago after NEW rumors of "Real Housewives of Atlanta" star Porsha Williams' fiancé Dennis McKinley cheating surfaced, she told us she wasn't letting anything stop her happy in 2020:

View this post on Instagram

Nothing will stop my happy 2020!

A post shared by #PorshaWilliams (@porsha4real) on Jan 9, 2020 at 9:42am PST

By the way, she turned the comments off on that post.

Well, something has happened, and Porsha claims she’s done done. With what exactly? She didn’t specify. However, her cryptic Instagram messages could possibly be aimed at her daughter’s father and fiancé. First, she shared two pictures of herself with the caption, “’Sorry ASS’ [clown emoji] Done. #Unbreakable #2020Vision.”

You’ll notice, she cropped her engagement ring in the flicks. However, she posted up more pictures with her new bestie/"Real Houswives of Atlanta" co-star Tanya while they were shooting the "RHOA After Show" and you can see the ring:

View this post on Instagram

Never a dull moment #RhoaAfterShow #2020ActUp #2020Vision

A post shared by #PorshaWilliams (@porsha4real) on Jan 24, 2020 at 10:28am PST

The Hot Dog Queen also hopped on IG Stories with more cryptic messages. In a series of posts, she wrote "About to tell it all!," "Done," and she also posted a clown emoji. Check it:

What's tea, sis?

A big storyline for Porsha this season has been about Dennis coming clean about cheating on Porsha while she was pregnant with their daughter Pilar Jhena. They did therapy together to work through their issues and Dennis sat down with Porsha's mom and sister to issue what seemed like a genuine apologly. Dennis' mom was also in the mix. After their emotional sitdown, Porsha said she was ready to try and work on "saving their family," but these new cheating rumors may have put on a halt on that.

As for those new cheating rumors...

A source told RadarOnline Dennis was allegedly spotted with four women at Atlanta's Majestic diner around 4AM on Saturday, January 4th.

“He came in with four beautiful women. Porsha was not with him. Dennis was the only man in the group and all of the women were flirting with him.

The source claimed there was a woman wearing black who was resting her head on his shoulder.

“The girl in black had her head on his shoulder. It was like he was on a date with all of them.”

It’s alleged Dennis met one of the women after he “slid in her DMs." Hmph.

“They all left in a black Escalade. There was a driver, Dennis wasn’t driving.”

There are picture receipts from the outing as well, which you can check out here.

Afterwards, Dennis hopped on IG Stories and posted, "I can't eat?"

Well you can, but not with four women at wee hours in the morning when you're supposedly trying to "save your family" after admitting to cheating on your pregnant fianceé.

Last Sunday, Porsha appeared on “Watch What Happens Live” with Tanya and she was asked if she trusts Dennis.

youtube

“You know we're working on our relationship," Porsha said.

"Do you trust him?," host Andy Cohen asked.

"Huh?" she responded.

She then asked viewers to pray for them.

"I don’t know. It's the blogs, you know, he was out. I don’t know," she said. "Can y’all just continue to comment and speculate, and let me just figure out my life? I’m figuring out my life.”

When asked if they had words with Dennis about the new cheating allegations, she responded, "Umm...I'm figuring it out."

Welp.

It was seemingly all good a few days ago...at least from Dennis' point of view:

View this post on Instagram

Happy Monday! My two bosses are so beautiful. I’m blessed to know what’s important in this short life! Salaam

A post shared by Dennis McKinley (@workwincelebrate) on Jan 20, 2020 at 6:11am PST

Do you think Dennis cheated again, or nah?

BONUS:

youtube

After Wendy Williams broke "news" on her daytime talk show that "RHOA" star Nene Leakes was quitting the show (again) and had some big secret, Nene got on camera for her YouTube series to share her side of the story. You'll recall, after Wendy shared the text Nene sent her, the reality star's rep issued a statement saying Nene was just "venting" to Wendy and that she had no plans on quitting "RHOA." Also, Nene hopped on Twitter and Instagram to respond to Wendy's messy antics. In case you missed, check it out HERE.

"The most I can say - or even want to say is - Wendy and I are friends. I have vented to her on many occasions. That particular day I did not vent to her, I just sent her one text and she went out on the couch and started talking."

She said she thinks personal, private conversations "should stay private" and anybody should be able to vent to a friend without that person telling the world.

"I was not a cool thing," she shared while looking sad. "She & I have since talked about it. We talked about it, we texted about it. I just want to move on from it. Hopefully that is behind me. I just want to move on. When stuff like that happens, it really hurts because it's like, you don't know if you can trust anybody."

Check it at the 5-minute mark above.

Photos: Porsha's IG

[Read More ...] source http://theybf.com/2020/01/24/porsha-says-she%E2%80%99s-%E2%80%98done%E2%80%99-with-the-%E2%80%98clown%E2%80%99-ish-she%E2%80%99s-about-to-%E2%80%98tell-it-all%E2%80%99-%E2%80%93-did-her-fian

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jessicakehoe · 5 years

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Ian Williams’s “I Want It All. I Want It Now.” Chapter 3: Broke Up, Broken Up

Below you’ll find the third chapter of Ian Williams’s fictional story, “I Want It All. I Want It Now,” from our Summer 2019 issue. To read from the beginning, click here.

Toronto, Montreal

Vein

Late summer, Ella took me to the airport. Together we lifted my bags onto the scale to be weighed. I’d been booked for a lot of work that summer: an ad campaign for a beauty brand in Toronto, a fitness spot on TV in Montreal and a fashion shoot in Mexico.

Ella said, I’ll keep an eye on your druggie boyfriend.

She still called Hudson my boyfriend, even though we’d had a conscious uncoupling after the music festival. No one’s taking minutes, but, for the record, I’d consciously uncoupled him and not the other way around.

He’s not a druggie. I felt the need to defend him. I had bought him a Sackville & Co. gold grinder for his weed. I said, A little pot does not a druggie make.

We’d had this conversation before. I had never seen Hudson use anything more than a little pot, and, even so, there was a difference between trying a drug and being an addict. He might have tried something. I tried cocaine in high school. I wasn’t an addict.

Ella tilted her head. Just high school?

Don’t look at me like that.

She shook her head. I caught a whiff of Daisy.

I should be worried about you, I said. You’re the one who was on friggin’ methadone.

Naloxone.

Naloxone, I repeated. She had projected her problem on him. I needed a break from them both.

I have something for you, Ella said.

She rooted around in her Gucci bag until she found a row of condoms.

I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but he cheated on you with more than one woman. Ella made a tourniquet around my arm by tying two condoms together. As she was working, she listed names: Molly, Roxie, Aunt Hazel, Mandy, Kitty.

Ella drummed the inside of my elbow as if searching for a vein. Then she pushed me toward the security area with the condoms tied around my arm.

Tat

According to Instagram, Hudson got a tattoo. It was on his ribs—about the size of a passport photo. Very discreet. If he squeezed his arm against his torso, he’d cover it up. It was still red in the image. Caps. Serif font.

Seeing it on his body, I felt like he had communed with my mother and she had given me over to him. Or he had taken me over. I was on his body forever. The words weren’t beads I borrowed from Ella’s closet.

Ice

Hudson used to describe Sephora as the makeup version of the Apple store: brightly lit, clerks everywhere, an air of sterility, futuristic, clean to the point of being antiseptic.

I was sitting on a stool in the Bite Beauty section wearing all black, knees together, hair pulled back. I was one of 15 models hired for a one-day social media campaign. Women had been invited into the store to get their makeup done and have the chance to win a modelling contract. Each woman would sit next to a model while a clerk did her makeup similar to that model’s; then Sephora would snap some photos, post them on Instagram and ask people to guess who the model was. It was a Dove kind of idea—celebrating the beauty of ordinary women.

The woman on the stool in front of me was more than 10 years older than me. I’d say she was 37. We sat facing each other like reflections. My future self. Her past. Pale. Blunt nose. Faint eyebrows, like a Dutch portrait. Overall, she was austere and well maintained but starting to finely crack.

Her manners were European. She said, You are one of those challenging models.

Is that good? I asked.

Unconventional. She had three stripes of tester lipstick on her hand. The middle one looked the best on her.

I was starting to get offended.

Where you’re pretty if you have one ugly feature.

Oh. I said nothing about her nose. Just, Oh.

I guess that’s what sells, she said, looking into my eyes. She was feeling the boldness of becoming beautiful. Ella would describe her face as aristocratic.

Are you a student? she asked.

In Vancouver, I said. I wanted to impress her. Grad student. M.B.A.

Which is your primary identity?

Excuse me?

Slowly. Are you a student or are you a model?

Both. (I want it all, and I want it now.)

Or are you someone’s girlfriend?

I looked at her left hand. She had a diamond. She was one of those women who would be cruel to other aspiring women in her company. Worse to women than to men.

I don’t often feel teary, but my mother’s birthday was coming up (always a difficult day), and Hudson had posted that IG photo a few days ago; plus I was worried about whether or not I was toned enough for Montreal in a few days, plus it was high summer and I was—I’ll admit—lonely under my sunglasses, and now this ice queen was stabbing her pick into my heart.

I couldn’t wet my makeup. I said, You look like a lawyer.

Young love, she said. Caustic. She smiled a little. Squinted. You’re not going to be a challenging model forever.

I’m going to need you to stop talking now, the clerk said to the woman to save me.

Lawyer, she mouthed and touched her large nose.

Muldoon, the Beagle

But things got worse. A few days after Sephora, I had just slathered on sunscreen and was biking sprints through The 6, along Lake Ontario, when my father called.

He was putting down Muldoon, a black and white beagle with a coat so shiny it appeared metallic.

He just wanted to say goodbye, my dad said.

I had known Muldoon his whole life. His owners—the coolest, sweetest people—were hardcore punk rockers who had paid me to dog-sit as a kid.

My dad turned on the video. There was Muldoon. His ears were flopped forward like two leaves at the side of his head. When he heard my voice, he sniffed the screen. His eyes were noble.

I told Muldoon about Doggy Heaven. About my mom. He blinked slowly.

My dad said his girlfriend was spending the week with him. Then he hung up. Or, he thought he did. I watched my screen go black as he put his phone face down on the counter. Our phones were still connected.

I could hear the moment Muldoon died. I heard shuffling, then muffled voices, then silence, then a shift in the silence—like the hum of the AC going off.

Mom would have been 60 today. Happy B-day, Ma! On her last birthday before she died of breast cancer, I got out all of her Fashion Television tapes and we curled up on my parents’ bed and watched hours and hours of Jeanne Beker, the synth-pop theme song, fashion weeks, Naomi Campbell and Linda Evangelista, Milan, haute couture.

It was my present to her—even if she slept through many of them with a silk scarf on her head.

Backup

In Montreal, I was a fitness model for a morning lifestyle show. Pretty much, I was the equivalent of a backup dancer (that’s what Hudson would call me) for the demo of an Instagram workout video.

I powered through some sit-ups backstage and planked. Club pump. The male model did some push-ups and sprints up and down the hallway; then he patted himself dry and squeezed Gatorade into his mouth. Good energy, this guy Denis. He double high-fived me, low and high.

You got this, he said. Cute little French accent.

Cute little everything.

I unzipped my hoodie. Denis the hottie did some lunges to show off his quads. I did some cat-cow stretches. The audience applauded. We jogged onstage.

Denis adjusted his shorts partway through the segment. He was trying to manage his boner.

At the end of the segment, he ran up to me from behind and lifted me off the ground.

You were amazing, he said.

We followed each other on Instagram.

We had lunch after the segment, and lunch turned into a walk, which turned into dinner. Denis was a big talker. A happy, friendly spaniel. A simple man who needed simple adjectives. So transparent I could see through his face into his brain. He went to bed early, woke up early, went for a morning run, peeled his clothes off at the door and showered, made himself a paleo or keto breakfast, juiced kale and ginger for a midday boost.

So, after dinner, we went to bed early together, woke up early together, went for a morning run together, peeled our clothes off at the door and showered together, made ourselves a paleo or keto breakfast together, juiced kale and ginger for a midday boost together. Times eight days.

I imagined this was what marriage would feel like: Denis parting the curtains in the morning. Denis parting his hair. Denis high-fiving me over laundry. Denis planning ski trips. Denis cuddling with the dog. Olympic sex. Denis to the death. As he was loading my luggage into the trunk of the cab, he said, You are the most—

Compatible person I have ever met, I finished.

We had been finishing each other’s sentences all week.

I saw, of course, this tweet. I slid, platonically, into his DMs. I don’t know why I had reached out to Hudson in the first place.

Sorry about the band, Hudson, I wrote, and removed the heart emoji before sending. The response came quickly.

Any chance you’re in L.A.? I could use your face.

But I know you’re always the one following me. In brackets he let me know that my face is better than the smiley emoji he uses to sign off. I left him with three dots, as if I’d be writing him during my whole flight.

It was late—my flight was delayed—and my loneliness was so astringent it was drying out my skin.

Airplane mode

Waiting for the flight to take off for Mexico, I smelled Santal 33 on the man next to me. I missed how Hudson touched me. Lots of men touched me, styled me, posed me, cinched me, adjusted my hair and jaw as necessary, but Hudson had a range of fabric in his fingers. Most men were cotton.

I looked at my phone.

I imagined him staring at his phone.

I switched my phone to airplane mode and stowed it so I wouldn’t be tempted to reread all our messages.

About three hours into the flight, the Santal 33 smell was so bad that it drove me to join the mile-high club. Not with the dude next to me, no. The half-mile-high club, then, alone, in the bathroom at the back of the aircraft, when the flight attendants turned off all the lights.

You may use your cellular devices at this time.

Odile’s story isn’t finished yet. She clearly isn’t over Hudson, but will he fight harder than Denis? See how it all pans out in Chapter Four and follow @the.real.odile on Instagram for real-time updates.

The post Ian Williams’s “I Want It All. I Want It Now.” Chapter 3: Broke Up, Broken Up appeared first on FASHION Magazine.

Ian Williams’s “I Want It All. I Want It Now.” Chapter 3: Broke Up, Broken Up published first on https://borboletabags.tumblr.com/

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