talking to friend I have no feelings for: You remind me of an ancient greek boywife. I would castrate you and marry you in a heartbeat. Do you want to kiss me
talking to girl I've been in love with for years now: Saw a cat fly today
You know why she's making you wait, right? She's gonna make you carry it. You're gonna have to poop out your own baby and then squeeze your little Tommy tits for man milk.