#remindME2Breathe therapy

[remindme2breathe]

It’s simple... said no one.. EVER

I’m here again! Just when I thought Tumblr would be a quick-lived fad. There’s something beautiful about having the freedom to express yourself. It’s always been my therapeutic weapon of choice. While most would benefit from over paying for a complete stranger to listen to the sad story of ‘why I’m here’, I get to do it for free. Thanks Tumblr, for giving me space to just SAY IT. 

I’m a mom. My life is complicated to the few that get to witness it, but to me, this chaos is my normal. Perhaps my mental state has convinced my emotional parts that this non-stop roller coaster is correct FOR ME. Not everyone is cut out for it. I have 4 beautiful children. Ready for the complexity? My eldest is from my first relationship, he was planned. In my mind, my first born child was my rock- the main reason I left my childish ways and grew. Because of him I finished college, left my former position as a Dj (yes, once upon a time, I WAS THAT COOL). I left car shows, clubs, parties for the unconditional love of my baby boy, a decision I never grew to hate. He filled a void in my soul I couldn’t have filled any other way, believe me I TRIED. In a few days he will be 18 years old, and although I am excited to watch him graduate, get his drivers license, and go to college- I am equally terrified. All his life.... wait... I have 3 other kids to tell you about! Put a pin in this! 

My second child, also a beautiful boy, was a surprise and a blessing! He is 14, has ADHD and has taught me how different siblings can be. While my first child was calm, never threw a fit, always listened, and was a book worm, this baby was the total opposite. Don’t get me wrong, he is definitely a good boy. Never been in trouble at school or any serious trouble at home. This little one I share with his dad, my second relationship, well, my first marriage to be precise (pin placed- I got you!). My litte boy has the biggest heart, super emotional kid. Loves odd information. If you wanna know about farts, cemeteries, old presidential facts, and anything youtube related, he’s the one to ask! This kid is an encyclopedia of useless information. I think it’s funny because all the information he’s stored in his genius brain and NONE OF IT benefits him with school. He struggles. All in all, we are really close and he knows that where his dad might be lacking, Mama has his back! (Side note: his dad is amazing! He loves this kid and this kid loves him- no shade)

My 3rd and 4th are not mine by blood, but the love I have for them is no different then what I feel for my own. Would this make us the modern day Brady bunch? The third one is 10 years old, she is the sweetest little thing! She is my boyfriends identical twin! The resemblance is uncanny! You would have thought he birthed her himself! All she needs is a mustache and beard! The arrangement between my boyfriend and his Ex has always been the same, he got them on the weekends, then every other week. Only that this little one decided she didn’t want to live with her mom anymore and preferred to live with us. There’s a story here, one I won’t tell at this moment... patience grasshopper! So, the 10 year old sweetie pie lives with us. 

The 4th little bitty is her mothers a MILLION%! Geez! Imagine that, waking up to watch an exact replica of your boyfriends ex running around your house... tell me what that feels like. She’s 9 years old and complete opposite of the 10 year old. She’s tougher, sassier, a little braver. In my house the 9 year old and my 14 year old are called THE BULLIES. They share a wing of my house on purpose. Since we share them with other parents we gave them a different wing for a variety of reasons. 1. They are like butt-cheeks: INSEPARABLE! 2. When their with their other parents that wing is shut down (a/c). 3. We kept the tiny gang away from the calmer kids. I don’t know what it is about those two, but they LOVE to annoy or antagonize the older ones. Anyway, this set up works for us. Clearly they are not aware of their title, this is just what we joke with between my boyfriend and I. We are equal opportunity labelers though, the older ones are ‘The Complainers’... any noise, if the kids breathe or laugh too loud they complain. 

Not bad for a second entry... had more to say then I thought. Before the BETTER MOMS come for me for labeling my kids, I feel it’s best your aware, I am writing for ME, not for you. I am writing to keep my sanity in the midst of the crazy I deal with. Welcome to my NORMAL. 

#momlife #normal #FUNtional #remindME2Breathe therapy