#remind me to never leave my bubble re: body neutrality. again lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

downywrites · 3 years

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Bird is back, but bird wrote not funny stuff. It is Sap.

random angst, no tickles LMAOO tw: death, blood, losing control?? RIP y’all have all the angst for now HAHA

Don’t worry though, I will be back with tickle stuff eventually lol

Sapnap is not happy with the rain.

Sapnap always knew he was different from the others. Everytime they would scream when a smolder of flame erupted from him in a fit of fury. The snarls of rage that sent people cowering, even when he furiously apologized. The feeling of animosity that was mutually shared between him and everyone’s pets. (“Don’t you dare hurt Squeeks!” “He looked at me funny!”) The fact that he couldn’t sleep in the same bedsheets as the others. The sound of the pouring rain framed his thoughts perfectly. He stared up through a hole in the roof of the cave, hissing when a few stray drops landed on his face. Paying them little to no heed, he moved closer. The stinging feeling felt grounding, calming almost. He sighed. ‘When had my life come to this?’ When had it, really?

Unfortunately, he could not recall. Life was a blur outside of training, outside of sparring, outside of pain. Out of all the memories, his best ones were full of pain. Pain from losing one he loved, dull and muted behind the curtains of affection from another. Pain emanating from his right side, rippling throughout his body, when that loved one finally left his mark forever, tears rolling down his face, his pickaxe scar. A ring, broken. Water pouring over his form, hissing as it bubble on his skin. The bittersweet memories reminded him of when people failed to see him as a hostile mob, as an outsider. No, they saw him as the enemy- the human enemy. “What a twisted way to see things.” The rain pattered on, unknowing and uncaring of the hissing, burning tracks rolling down the blaze’s cheeks. “Since when did my life revolve around...them?” He had never noticed. The subtle way Dream manipulated him into leaving his husbands’ sides, the way he pocketed his ring ‘for safekeeping'...the tears burned white-hot marks. And Sapnap loved it. He loved every bit of it, almost too much. “Wh-what...is wrong with me?”

Claws gripped at his hair. Was it his? A zombie’s? He didn’t care. He wanted the pain, craved it. The grip tightened. Sapnap sobbed, a fake (not fake) smile coming to his face. Stone dripped, making a harmonious noise on the floor next to his ripped up shoes. Sapnap didn’t care. For once in his life, he didn’t feel any resentment over the rain. He wanted more, more pain, more suffering. He wanted it to end. He stumbled towards the mouth of the cave, muted sounds roaring to life in his ears. A voice in the back of his mind wondered where the zombie beside him went. At the mouth of the cave, the difference in noise was enormous. Water rained down like a never ending torrent, washing away the torches. Mobs struggled to their feet, trying to move towards the hybrid. He winced at the sound of the chaos. ‘It’ll do.’ Crazed eyes met empty hollows. He surged forward, rain pouring onto his skin, ripping and melting like acid to a human’s flesh-

“-ap. Sap?”

“Ay, hombre. You good?”

“He’s not waking up...No, he has to.”

“Por favor, mi tesoro. Please…”

A gasp. Eyes, red-orange like the fire he was born from, snapped open, wide in shock, fear, and maybe a little bit of disappointment. The sudden movement was certainly not expected. Marigold wings fluttered in shock, flapping up and down quickly in rapid succession and making the whole room feeling like a miniature air tunnel. Sapnap felt that first. The high-pitched, almost feminine shriek came second. The whine of tinnitus pierced his eardrums. He clutched at his ears, appendages twitching like mad and trying to fold in (as if they can). Soft, gentle hands rubbed at his temple, carding through his hair. The blaze, unknowing who or what it was, pushed into it, low purr catching in his throat through the noise. “Sap, are you okay?” A quiet whisper softened the whining for a moment. Memories flashed through his mind. Calming words. Soothing stories. Ticking. Stopwatch….

“K-karl?” Sapnap regretting the words the second they came out. His throat screamed bloody murder. Both of the people in the room froze, deathly still. “Sap, you re-remember us?” A small blossom of hope bloomed in his voice. Confused, Sapnap pulled away from the hand, a small seed of disappointment adding flavor to his frown. “Of course I do...did I do something?” His senses, dulled from the tendrils of sleep, snapped awake. Nomad instincts sparking to life, he eyes his surroundings warily, mapping everything out with careful planning.

As far as he was concerned, it was his room. Everything was perfectly placed, perfectly positioned as if it was his room. The posters of random bands stuck up on the walls, the trash that he couldn't always bother to pick up, the slightly-charred journals he kept just in case of emergencies- all there. The boards full of hints to items- famous red string dangling precariously atop their pushpin perches- all there. The only thing that felt off then, was.. He looked down to the bedsheets, clawed hand massaging the fabric. It was soft, textured gently, as if someone had kept it with care and weaved it with the nimble hands of a spider. The texture underneath his fingers was heavenly. It felt lush, fresh, as if nobody had ever used it before. And that was what made him worried. Since when did he have sheets this soft? Karl gave him a quick peck on the cheek, eyes glancing down quickly to assess a possibility of what he was thinking. “Ah, the sheets? Well, we thought you’d like them. Those old fireproof sheets weren’t very nice, after all.” Quackity, finally calming down from his birdlike startle, snorted obnoxiously. “Yeah right. Karlos over here just wants to bed you in comfort.”

The resulting slap earned a loud yelp and a “Rude.” from the avian. Sapnap’s guard stayed up, even as he chuckled. The lightness in his chest clashed with the iron feeling of his emotional walls. He ignored it, focusing on the way his husband’s rings glimmered in the soft fairy lights. Their rings...He pushed himself up further. When had he pushed himself up? Prime, he didn’t know. But that didn’t matter. “You...you have them on? The rings?” Against his will, his tail wagged behind him, pitch black on the red-white sheets. Karl and Quackity turned back to him, confusion inked on their faces. The time traveler tilted his head, dangling clock earring swinging from side to side like a pendulum. “What? Sap, did something happen?” He strode back over to his side, cradling his face gently. He rubbed a single finger on the edge of his chin, getting a slightly giggly purr from the blaze. “I know that Dream said you had an injury out on that really long mission, but-” The purr stuttered to a halt. His vocal chords rumbled, as if he was speaking deeply. The alarm in his voice, however, raised the pitch by a few octaves.

“He said what?” Hesitantly, Karl pulled his hand away from his face, using it to shift a watch on his wrist aimlessly. “Dream said that you had a concussion and you passed out in the middle of the battlefield. He said he took the ring off of you to keep it safe from any pilferers in the hospital...do you remember that?” Alarm set his walls on fire. In a fit of emotions, the lava that filled his soul roared to life, filling the nooks and crannies of the stone and melting it back into the state it originally formed in. He growled, a noise that sent shivers down the other’s spines. Steam rolled out of his mouth like a pot at a roiling boil. He gritted his teeth, letting it escape in two twin trails of steam. They curled and lapped at his lips. “That’s not what happened. He told me that he would have it for safekeeping. He told me and- and-” All at once, the fire stopped. The lava slowed, rolling back to where it came from. The cracks in the walls stayed put, though, crumbling in places it was weakest. Sapnap’s focus snapped back to Karl and Quackity. Fire flickering and lapping on his fingertips, he growled again.’What did he do to me? Something’s wrong…” “Sap, it’s okay. Memory loss and replacing is normal for this type of injury and-”

Sapnap cut Karl off with a snarl. “I didn’t get a concussion! He’s tricking you, all of you! I can’t believe you’re falling for this!” Losing control, he felt himself whisper under his breath. Karl recoiled, a look of fear flashing across his face. Genuine fear. The tension of the scene cut though everyone like ice. The feeling of fire lapping at his skin did not feel comforting to the others at the moment. Karl scrambled to get away from the snarling hybrid, eyes wide as saucers. He ran to Quackity, hugging him tightly. Wings enveloped his form, hiding him from sight. “Sapnap. What are you doing? We’re only trying to help-”

“Liar. Dirty cheating liar.” Wing-ears pulled backwards, a look of shock glazing over his countenance. Never, in all of the years they had been lovers, had Sapnap ever called him a liar. He called him a swindler, a casino junkie, sure. All jokes. But a liar? A cheater? Tears pricked at his eyes. Luckily, his casino skills saved the day. His face morphed from sadness to neutral in an instant, albeit a little more guarded than before. “What are you talking about? I-I never cheated on you-” “Liar!” Sapnap’s look of fury silenced his usually timely retort. The flames that had danced on his fingertips were no longer small, nor were they gentle, like they usually were. They spiraled all over his arms now, morphing into him naturally. The underparts of his skin glowed, veins pumping glowstone-colored blood throughout his body. The mere sight of this form, this unfamiliar man that sat in front of them, sent their heartbeats into a frenzy. But this wasn’t the man they loved. No, his eyes burned with a rage better left to rot.

His teeth, yellowed from eating a little too much junk food, no longer looked like a part of Sap. It looked like it came straight from a horror movie. His fangs dripped with malie, looking more and more like the maw of a great, angry dragon rather than their seething husband. A small wavery voice came from the mound of feathers. “S-sappy? It that you? O-or-” A sob. Tears. It meant tears. Tears meant pain. Pain… Sapnap struggled to rein his emotions in. It felt like a cage he could never close, an animal he could never herd. He pulled at it, struggling to hold it back from doing the thing it wanted to do the most.

‘Kill. Revenge. Death. They will pay.’

‘No, no, no! It’s Dream! Dream made them think this, they didn’t do anything! Please!’

But no matter how much he begged, the fury never wavered. It never stopped flowing. Little, by little, by little, the dam broke. The wall that he took so much time to build, so much effort to keep safe, crumbled beneath the onslaught of fire and beast and blood and hostile within him.

“Sappy, please!”

A final cry for help, from the person who could save them. A final cry to the person inside of his body. But Dream’s puppet strings remained, keeping him trapped. The very strings that held his hostility back held him back. Tears sprung to his eyes. The burning, hissing steam blurring his vision. He closed his eyes. He didn’t want to see it.

Blood splattered on the floor. Whose was it? He didn’t want to know anymore. A broken sob ripped out of his vocal chords. He hung limp. What had happened? He didn’t know anymore. He wanted help, needed help. The strings tugged gently at his arms, as if to comfort him. The hissing of tears running down his face kept him awake.

And on the floor, two hands laid side by side with one another, clutching at each other and laying on top of each other. It was almost as if they were simply lying still. But the glimmer of blood on their matching rings said otherwise.

On the day of discovery, Sapnap was nowhere to be found. But the rain, oh, the rain kept on pouring. After all, nature cares not about what happens to the poor blazes who get caught in it, do they?

Bruhhh this is so bad and so random help LMAOOO

#oof #my writing #downy writes #this will be unlisted lol #I just wanted to get back into the swing of things #and plot holes #galore #i'm not even going to list this as a tickle fic #it's not #dsmp angst???#dsmp angst #yes #dsmp fic

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