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linonyang · 10 months

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PAINTING FAITH [revised & extended ver.]

pairing: non-idol!seungmin and gender-neutral!reader

featuring: several skz members, an oc

genre: angst, fluff, sci-fi, rival gang au, forbidden lovers au

warnings: spoilers from the book of inspiration (chloe gong’s these violent delights), inappropriate language, mentions of death and murder, use of weapons, political issues, sensitive content (killing, blood, character death), and jisung being a weirdo (:/// sorry)

word count: 11.6k words

synopsis: the blood painted on the floor after another tragic night will mean three things for you and seungmin: your revenge, his will to live, and family rivalry.

mini-playlist: link here

tag list: @awooghan @hwangsify @xiaoderrrr @cosmic-railwayxo

note: oh wow i broke my record of my longest fic LOL here’s a revised and extended version of my beloved painting faith :ppp i believe this is slightly messy bc i literally rushed to finish this and i’m already posting this at 1am lmao but i still love what i wrote here regardless :D i really love this fic with all of my heart so i hope you will too! hope you enjoy <33

You want to crumble in regret as you finally step in front of a door inside the palace. You simply felt the need to get out of here. You’re not supposed to be here. There are more important matters than attending a ball hosted by a family you didn’t even dare to think of. Even a prize like not getting bothered by a prick—your cousin, Minho—for one whole night doesn’t even give you much enthusiasm to endure the night.

Choosing to risk your life to finish one hell of a mess in the town for an extra night is much better than stopping over for one night to not do anything related to that said mess. Merely thinking of the idea that Minho would still be here, just with a different set of people, and your father by your side is enough to eat you up and get buried on the ground. This is obviously why you avoid any family matters that need extra companions—you, in this case, since you were told by your family to join this specific event.

You push on the door. You walk around the wide function room, eyeing the glittering chandeliers above your head. You admit this is a beautiful venue for the grandest events. But it is not surprising that the function room is gorgeous because of the Figueroa family—a family you inexplicably loathed.

The growing madness around the past month has made your stomach filled with nervousness for days. You fear the city would change and be more in danger. The horrendous monster took so many lives of commoners and Leyva members already by a simple insect infestation that will lead these people to rip their throats. You don’t want to hear more of that.

You’ll never expect what the beast would look like when you sight it with your own eyes. After you steal a sketch of the creature from the office of Ereden Carlos, a government official that has stolen the hearts of at least half of the population, you are still in disbelief that the monster even exists because of how vicious it looks. The realism shown through the sketch gives you enough fear to face the horror. You don’t know the size of the monster, but their features are just right to say that they are truly a monster that can bring the city into flames.

Recently, you heard a report from your dear cousin and secondary heir, Minho, that a Leyva member saw the monster with their own eyes on a random night. Just by the remaining panic seen from the eyes of the said member, you felt powerless. The beast could be more powerful than you, the Leyvas, or the Leyva and Solano gangs combined.

Your father mumbles beside you with a question, “You don’t have a mask with you?” He takes a slurp of the pasta in front of him while viewing the rest of the room. “This is a masquerade ball.”

You roll your eyes in response. The Figueroa family didn’t ask for your presence just to show up and hide with a mask. Supposedly, show yourself and not hide your identity, if that makes any sense. “You don’t have a mask with you either, am I correct?” you retorted. “If you don’t have any mask in your pockets, then I don’t have any here with mine.”

Lord Leyva expected nothing new from you. Instead, he shrugs and continues chatting with the strangers—the Figueroas—at the same table as you. Truly, you treated them as strangers even if the Leyvas and Figueroas had a history; a sense of familiarity has always been there after growing up hearing the latter a lot from your father’s mouth.

Despite being in similar levels of financial stability, you despise them. They’re clever, brutal, and careless. The city has been holding on to the gangs to keep your country, Makan, alive. The Figueroas are just another family milking the citizens' money for their own needs, not even bothering to pave the way for the city’s demands. At this point, you couldn’t count how many people have begged you and your family to step up, along with the Solano gang, to lead Makan. But good things will never happen without their limits. None of you have the highest power to do that. Even your strongest connections cannot miraculously make you leaders.

You never followed the conversation between your father and the Figueroas ever since you sat down in your seat. You’re only with Lord Leyva just to be his support—unnecessary support, to be specific. You’re already fine with your state. Just sitting down, munching on your food, and aimlessly looking around was best for your situation, and you don’t want to ask for more.

“How about you, _____? How are you doing?”

You stop twirling the noodles around your fork once you hear your name. You find where the voice of someone who instantly ruined your mood is, and oh. It’s just some random Figueroa member you don’t care about. You don’t even know the name of the person, and you have no plans to know their name.

“It’s none of your business,” you bluntly answered, with your brows furrowed. You lowered your head and glanced at your plate to take a bite. With an incoming spike of grouchiness slowly consuming you whole, you continue, “It’s surprising that you have finally noticed my presence. Weren’t you talking to my father the whole time? I suggest we should keep it that way.”

And you assume that the response of the family in front of you is a no-brainer. They’ll take your statement seriously. Although you know that they’ll forget about it in a little while. Confusion’s just running through their heads, thinking whether you said all of that genuinely or sarcastically.

On the other hand, you thought there was nothing important in what you said. It was all nothing to you. Why would you even bother entertaining a bunch of corrupted capitalists who have everything in their hands?

Lord Leyva ended the tension with a peaceful greeting before a Figueroa speaks ill about you. Your father dragged you out of your seat to the nearest corner of the function room.

Your father says your name and sighs, rubbing his temples to control his temper, which erupted randomly. “You know they can hire a gunman and kill you. You know that was a bad move. You spoke like that, out of anything that you could do?”

You snorted and shook your head in disbelief. “Father, you probably forgot that we also have the power to do that, right?”

“Yes, we do, but right now, we can’t—”

With barely any patience running through your veins, you decide to cut him off by raising a hand to stop him. Just then, you do not care if you disrespected your father for something potentially dangerous. “There’s something we can’t do suddenly? You know what lies on the Leyvas, Father. Don’t you dare underestimate what we can do,” you chuckle. “I’d love to bring my gun out and kill them with my own hands if there weren’t that many people here.”

Why is he siding with that ruthless family? Aside from the madness infiltrating the city day by day, Makan has been in flames because of the Figueroas. You have seen the country, especially your city, fade to black. People are suffering, pollution is slowly growing within the city, and Caasi does not feel the same as before anymore.

Unfortunately, your circumstance of being in a gang exposed you to the black and white of the world. Stood out were the worst imperfections, blood, and dirt. All colors are gone, and that’s simply because you’re a Leyva.

Even the ability to kill without remorse will always make you question your existence. What did the Leyvas inject into your head to feel nothing whenever you shoot with your gun or stab with a dagger? What if you’re not a part of the Leyva clan? Will you be more conscious of your being and the reality of humanity?

Without hesitation, you walked past your father with a frown. One question repeats in your head. What if you’re not a part of the Leyva clan?

Will your reality adjust because of the change of circumstances? Will you be with people who are mindful and rational about the job of a gang member?

Your feet brought you right below the arch ring. You leaned on the abutment. That single question brought memories to your mind with no struggle.

“What do you think of growing old like this?”

“What do you mean? Growing old spending some time here?”

You nod with all your might, “Away from everything the families have been doing. Away from what could happen to us.”

Your father and your relatives returned home bloody, scarred, and barely living from blood loss many times in the past. All because of the missions and fights outside the four walls of your home. Everyone will expect you to do the same when you’re of legal age. The day will come when you and Seungmin will do the same thing without each other.

The rivalry between your clans could worsen, giving you more distance away from him. You’ll feel hopeless when that day arrives—fight and go home on your own vulnerably because of these feelings for each other. You’ll leave with no choice but to hunt and shoot him because of gang rivalry—that will always be your priority as a member. You’ll need to forget what’s forbidden for you.

You continue, “I want to get away from the possibility of you, I, and our life getting dragged away from this battlefield.”

Seungmin places his arm around you and holds you tight. He hums. “You will not lose me, each other, even our lives, _____. We’ll be fine. Let’s take our time and appreciate that we could still do this despite whatever competition is there between our families.”

You understand. Although, there are also limits to “taking our time” because time is quickly ticking for both of you.

“We’re still teenagers, Seungmin,” you anxiously said. “Everything will change when we get older. Maybe in a few years, we have to act as what we’re supposed to be as gang members.”

You are sure you’re still clueless about a gang member’s role and the ins and outs of this world. Your destiny is like this: you’re innocent and gullible about everything, learn the truths and lies of reality, and have a change of heart and mind.

Hopefully, your mind and heart wouldn’t change. You hope that your thoughts and feelings for Seungmin will never fade. You hope that even with deep scars and drips of blood on your body, the pain wouldn’t take away the love of your life. Even with every bullet piercing through every being, Seungmin will never slip off your head.

Seungmin gently rubs your arm and softly pulls your head to his chest. “There’ll always be a way for every problem. I know we can get through this together.” He holds you slightly tighter than before.

High chances that you’ll instantly get your happily ever after if you’re not a Leyva. Perhaps you didn’t have to go abroad to study for several years and leave Seungmin full of guilt.

You’re absolutely late to get that happily ever after. You don’t have to hold your breath to even get that simply because it’ll be impossible to achieve that at this rate. If possible, your ending will be in hell because of fate’s disposition.

“Good evening to you, Leyva.”

Someone interrupted your thread of thoughts with a single sentence. Moving your head to the side, you see Jisung with a glass of wine. If control held loose, you might have grunted so loud because of the attention-seekers you have seen all night, including this man from the Isidros.

Jisung visited you a week ago to ask for your consent and approval for the Isidro-Leyva partnership for a particular project. His family must be desperate to milk something out of the Leyvas since his father was also persistent about the same thing to you a week before Jisung’s visit. The young Isidro was kicked out of your home, and you left him in front of the door with another message. You do not want the offer.

The only word you get to comprehend from the man endlessly blabbering in front of you was “attention”. He just wanted some leverage and your consideration for his existence.

Unfortunately, Jisung expected you to attend tonight since he sent a letter a few days ago that he was looking forward to meeting you again at the masquerade hall. Maybe with more moves from this man, you’d assume that he’s doing something more than being a puppy following behind every step you take.

With no introductory greetings—even a simple “Hey!”—and affection laced in your voice, you try to end things just at the start. “I said no to the partnership, Jisung. I have said no multiple times to you and your family already,” you reminded him with a flat smile, barely holding on to your sanity. “My answer is very simple. It has two letters only. An N and an O, no. Is that single word unclear to you?”

All Jisung did was giggle in response. It struck a nerve within you, unfortunately. He fixed his coat and stepped closer to you, standing at the center of the arc. “Oh, _____, don’t worry! I understood I stopped. I decided not to pester you or the Leyvas about that!”

If there’s nothing else to discuss, he shouldn’t be standing still in front of you for no reason aside from the declined proposed partnership. You quickly suspect that he’s up for something else you’re not aware of.

You ask him about his intentions of staying with you. While waiting for his response, you try your best to be disengaging so he can step away and leave you alone. With your mouth curled up and your eyes blank, you tilt your head in impatience.

Jisung gasps and clasps his hands together. With that small detail alone, you assume there’s something wrong behind those eyes of his. You know he’s going to bother you about a different foolish thing.

“I am very fond of you, Leyva. I would like to go after your heart,” he shortly points to your chest, “your affection, hopefully, if you don’t mind.”

You believe there’s nothing undesirable about you on the surface level. With people like the Isidro family, you’ve never been vulnerable nor open about yourself, which makes you question how this man even became fond of you.

And it all leads down to what a normal person would immediately comment about you—you’re good-looking.

It’s a comment that’s all too familiar. If he’s here to pursue you because of your beauty, cross him out without a doubt. A man—or simply say Jisung—chasing you for solely your beauty without trying to know who you are first is enough to piss you off.

Nobody has confessed to you because of you. None of them attempted to break the shell tightly surrounding you. All of that, none, if you will not include Seungmin.

You received endless compliments and comments about your face, looking very similar to your ethereal mother. It was unavoidable because your family name is known in Caasi. It was annoying to receive compliments about your beauty alone. You do admit that your mother is definitely one of a kind.

Though you concluded long ago that your face was great compensation for your dominating voice and outspoken mind. If not beautiful, intimidating. That’s what they know about you.

Someone like Jisung shouldn’t be given any time, even for a second. Here you are, an heir of the Leyva gang, orchestrating the saving of Makan from a hideous monster that has infiltrated the streets and homes of the town of Caasi. You’re going to spend most of your days and nights for that instead of him. Furthermore, you have someone else—Seungmin, unquestionably—who is better than Jisung or any of the Isidros on so many levels. Perhaps you’re willing to give some bits and pieces of your time with him, hidden somewhere without getting caught by any of the Leyvas or Solanos.

You’re willing to run far, until the end of the infinite galaxies, to not see Jisung’s face ever again. Slumping your shoulders for another attempt to show your lack of interest in him, you sigh and answer, “There is no need to chase for my love and affection, Jisung.” With no effort, your eyes droop lower in disappointment and your hands stretched out in boredom. “Unfortunately, I have a lot on my hands. Also, finding a significant other is not a part of that as of now.”

It’s not part of your upcoming plans because you have achieved it with nobody’s notice.

The uncomforting and weird yet bubbly man plans to change your mind until you heard someone clear their throat nearby.

You turn your head and glance at the masked man near you. “Good evening, _____. May I have a word?”

Shit, you know who owns that voice. Seungmin?

You completely forgot that he secretly wanted to snatch the sketch you stole. Seungmin followed you on your trip home for the sake of protection. He saw you enter the four walls of Ereden Carlos’ office and walk out with a tight grip on your coat. With your hand on that piece of clothing, he knew something was up.

When he visited you, he planned to steal the mysterious paper in your inner pocket. But destiny was by your side, and Minho brought home the wrong paper on your table—the invitation to this masquerade ball. Both of you have always been this sneaky with each other. When you found out his amusing mistake, you laughed hard on your knees. He failed his attempt to steal it even if the chance of doing so is absolutely high since the paper’s simply on top of your bedside table, along with other papers, documents, and letters you’ve received lately.

The sight of your darling waiting for you behind a mask makes you sigh and look at Jisung.

You furrow your eyebrows and glare at him before waiting for his final greetings. Though this waiting lasted for a few seconds only, as you slowly feel annoyance and impatience slowly consume you. So you decide to not waste more time and let him leave with your own hands. If he doesn’t step back this time, maybe you’re ready to throw a punch.

“So?”

Jisung bows with disappointment clear on his pathetic face. You guess that he is genuinely desperate for your attention. You never thought that he feels a true attraction to you, anyway. “I’ll be leaving then. Thank you very much for the quick catch-up, _____.”

You view the outside of the arc as Jisung exits. The grass is glimmering after a short rain shower before the ball started. Around the small field are trees and buildings, making the gazebo look enchanted. It is a great view to think that you’re probably not in this violent and bloody plane of reality. The place is beautiful to daydream and temporarily ignore your undeniably nightmarish life.

You wouldn’t dare to take a walk to the pavilion. You might piss off your mother by soiling your clothes and staining your shoes from the wet dirt of the soft and muddy grass field.

“So beautiful,” you hear Seungmin say.

And you agree. This is definitely the type of view you want to see from your room. You are very used to the urbanized side of Caasi—houses and buildings built side by side, people walking in and out of places, and cars honking in the streets from day until night. You’re on the busy side of Caasi, and your clan’s territory is in this area. “A delightful place to look at after that absurd conversation with Sir Isidro, I’d say.”

Seungmin laughs softly to correct himself, “I mean you, _____. You’re beautiful.”

He’s truly an exception. That word undoubtedly hits you in a different way, and you’d love to hear that word from his lips all day. You can listen to him say about anything, and you’d still feel your heart flutter.

But this is not the right time and place to feel that.

The sight of a stranger flirting with you can cause so much damage. What more if people will discover that this person is a Solano?

He really shouldn’t have stolen the wrong paper from your desk.

Shaking your head in growing rage, you drag him outside of the function room. The urgency to bring him out of many people’s sight is reflected in your quick footsteps. From the sight of a stranger, you pulling Seungmin out of the building may look like you’re on your way to torturing him because of your tight grip on him. High chances that you could actually do that.

You pull the mask from his face and shake your head once again. It is really Seungmin, much to your dismay.

You drop his mask and gracefully drag your knife out of your sleeve. “Seungmin Solano, the heir of the Solano gang. Why in the world are you in here, especially in the Leyvas’ territory?” you asked, close enough to sound like you were interrogating a suspicious criminal around the streets of Caasi. You grit your teeth and point to him with the knife in your hand, “Don’t you dare do all of this here!”

Seungmin’s presence in your territory in Caasi could get him killed in a heartbeat, especially if he gets sighted by an actual Leyva.

The aggression doesn’t really reflect your care for him. Maybe it’s because you’re somewhat enraged due the risk Seungmin has done tonight. Between the two of you, you are the protective one in a ridiculous manner—enough to say that you relentlessly devoted such secrecy and safety as this forbidden intimacy you have with your childhood friend. You dreamt of privacy in this relationship you’ve been maintaining without such troubles.

Years ago, you ghosted the love of your life to leave Makan right after he betrayed you for a mission, and ended up returning to the country after a few years with unresolved feelings. You had to keep the relationship now since the rivalry between your families is still fresh despite working together behind the scenes to give recovery to Makan. Both clans are hesitant to collaborate, unfortunately, despite it being a great help to stop the monster.

The Leyvas and Solanos abandoning or straight-up killing both of you is likely if anybody gets to see the mess you risked yourselves to be in. Without second thoughts, you know Minho’s willing to pull out his gun if he knew about your setup. Not only the two of you could be kicked out or murdered, but other potential heirs will possibly replace you, like Minho. You’d rather put yourself in danger than let that cousin of yours take the crown.

The madness is the only reason you’re working together. You never planned to tie yourself with him outside of the relationship you’ve been keeping. All you hope is that your relationship wouldn’t affect your progress in this and future missions.

Seungmin mumbles your name. “I truly need to have a word with you. It’s urgent.” He moves his head back, almost hitting his head on the wall. “Jeongin and I found something new that can help us with the madness.”

If it’s possible to bring hyperboles to life, you might’ve done it in an instant. The thought of Seungmin involving his cousin in their mission just makes your blood boil even worse—almost feels like smoke is coming out of you. You set your hand between the wall and Seungmin’s head, bringing yourself and your blade closer to him. “Your cousin knows what we’re doing?” you grit your teeth. “I thought we made a deal of not telling anyone what we're doing! There are heavy consequences if anybody saw us together.”

That sounds like you do not like this relationship?

You love him dearly. You just despise the fact that you are forbidden lovers who can’t even open up about this matter without your families relentlessly attempting to kill each other, even if love is too beautiful to hide. It has eaten you whole to the point where you don’t want to deal with any more of it. What could be left is both of you if you keep safe and protect yourselves. You and Seungmin would fall down on the ground first if Seungmin keeps on risking what you have.

And he is all you have.

The present time would be so different if Seungmin pushed his knife much closer to your chest years ago. He knows and admits that he wouldn’t do anything to harm you—but he didn’t follow what his heart said because it’s father’s orders.

What stopped him pierce your heart and make you bleed is… your heart, to be frank.

He loved you so much, and he still loved you amidst the fact that he betrayed your trust once by killing your grandfather for his father’s validation. Until this day, that love never faded to dust. He’d risk keeping you alive, even if he still feels the scars he left on you because of that single thing he did that almost made grief eat you whole. As long as it’s not you who’s dead, what Seungmin deliriously thinks every time. He still understood the misery you went through after that tragedy, not that he completely erased that in your history with him. He admitted his deep feeling of guilt many times, and he continued doing that after you somehow moved on from your grandfather’s death. Being in a gang involves running fast, which includes moving on in no time.

Seungmin grunts and attempts to push away the knife from your hand. “Put the dagger down. We’re so far away from any people to be seen, we’ll not get caught.”

What made you melt are his next words—he calls your name and gently asks you to put your blade down. And you finally did.

You sigh in retreat and ask, “What brings you here, Seungmin? Spill it out, quick.”

Seungmin chuckles and answers, “Jeongin and I discovered something about the monster.” He stands straight and looks right through your eyes. “That monster produces those insects that get into people’s heads.”

“That monster being like the culprit of all lice infestations in a school?” you tilt your head in confusion. Seungmin shakes his head with affection—finding your analogy quite interesting. He answers once again and shrugs, “Yeah, something similar to that, _____.”

For a minute, you hate how nonchalant and straightforward he is for this matter; how he said that the monster and insects were one; how he and his cousin found out perfectly; how he considered your wonder about the monster. It’s ridiculous to think that Seungmin would never succeed in gaining sources. He always gets everything he wants and needs easily, so effortlessly.

You take a deep breath and think, everything is not clicking yet. One, the Isidro family is currently holding the cure to the madness. Two, Ereden Carlos holds sensitive information about this monster. And now… this?

“Is there any relation between the Isidros and the monster?” you exhale in worry, returning your knife to where it should be—hidden from any commoner who can misinterpret your intention of holding the weapon. “I have some suspicions with Ereden already, but not with Jisung yet.”

Seungmin hums in curiosity. Nothing is in his head just yet, he realizes. He still feels dazed after you pointed him with that sharp knife that magically appeared from your sleeve. But he does think that there are potential relations between the Isidro family and that monster.

Something came up in his head though.

“Don’t you think it should be the relation between Ereden and the Isidros we’re supposed to look out for? They may set us up.” he blinks his eyes brashly and purses his lips. “To lose people’s trust in the gangs, maybe? Jisung and Ereden are probably teaming up to bring us to failure.”

Seungmin straightens his back and pulls down his coat. He finally gets to connect more clues. “The flow could be like this: Jisung got information about the monster from Ereden. He uses that to create the vaccine formula to bring his family back from the dead since the Isidros’ businesses are considered nothing as of now. That would give enough backlash to our families since we did nothing good with the madness.”

“They’re gaining the power we should have,” you curse under your breath. “That makes all sense. We need more information to confirm this theory of yours, as much as I’d like to admit that maybe what exactly happened.”

You walk in circles on the soiled grass, not minding the painfully slow movement of your feet because of the mud. You need to grasp more resources to make sure the Leyvas and Solanos wouldn’t be buried under the ground for looking like both sides didn’t move, even an inch, to respond to the madness. The vaccine definitely boosted the Isidro family’s name once again after foreign companies settled in the city and took over the markets. You believe the Isidros, Ereden, and almost anybody associated with them has the answer to finishing this problem.

As strange as Jisung could be, he is not blind to the rivalry between your families. You assume that he repeatedly tried to convince you to collaborate with his family to back up his family and beat the Solano clan in this rivalry by profiting from the vaccine and milking the people with their trust in the Leyvas. He might’ve been on your side in this fight all this time.

“I think I could entice Jisung and retrieve information from him,” you stopped, finding where Seungmin stands. “He’d be very glad that I changed my mind and listen to his matters. I’ll arrange a meeting with him on the other day,” you clasp your hands together in glee.

Riding along with your sudden mirth, he takes a few steps and tilts his head to ask, “And for tonight, what we can do?”

Oh, you know Seungmin has something in his mind. Just one look on his face, and you’re immediately thrown with so many signs. The glint in his eyes, that goofy smirk, and the wiggling eyebrows—they all tell you he has a foolish idea at the back of his mind.

“Say whatever you’re going to suggest,” you roll your eyes, “I just want to get over what your mind’s arranging for the two of us.”

You will never get used to Seungmin’s absurd antics. He always did things that his family didn’t want from him. He fell in love with you, despite being told to stay away from any Leyvas. He wandered around Caasi and nearby cities even if he shouldn’t hang around anywhere else outside their territory to avoid trouble.

Caasi is smaller than other cities. It was the reason Seungmin wanted to see what was outside his hometown. Caasi, being smaller than other cities, doesn’t mean that the city itself is small though. It took him a while to simply get out of this place. People often use horses or bikes to travel from town to town in Makan, especially during the summer season.

The Solano heir brought you once to a farm outside the city. He was so eager to show you a much better environment for the two of you—a place you can forget that you’re in gangs. When you enjoyed prancing around the strawberry fields, he instantly knew the risk was worth it. Once he saw you smile at the greenery and the shining sun above you, he felt his heart beating incredibly fast. In a flash, Seungmin was convinced that he’d do anything to see the joy in its most visible form—you with a smile.

Inarguably, that was one of the best moments still stored in his memories. It was a treasured time that he didn’t care about anything else, even getting scolded for returning home late at night. As long as you had the most fantastic time of your life, he’s very contented. It also gave him more reasons to rebel constantly in the dark for an extension of his freedom just so he can be with you without getting condemned.

Despite not speaking about your grandfather’s death anymore, he still tries to bury the guilt for killing him. Even with that, he still wants your love. He still wants you, even if he scarred you deeply.

“Let’s go to the pier again.” It was a place he always wanted to go with you, after all. Everything about the pier just screams you. His hand grazes with yours. “Do you know that you always remind me of the pier?”

Electricity climbed up from your feet in a snap from that question and a small touch of his hand. Your jaw drops, almost feeling like you got stuck in your place. After all these years, Seungmin associated the pier with you and you only.

He reads you too well until the point he knows what could shock you or not. He giggles and shakes his head in amusement as the daze on your face is all he sees. Your reactions have always been so adorable to his eyes, even if it’s for something murderous or thrilling. He cherishes the animated and expressive face that you have.

Seungmin’s hand reaching out for your bruised ones, he says, “I always feel safe whenever I see the ocean. I feel the same way whenever I have you by my side.”

The short but sweet words from your occasionally romantic lover are enough to forget any tension in your body. But you always love to pose that the effect is the opposite. “You might’ve forgotten that I fear the ocean,” you mumble.

Seungmin’s smile on his face drops. He purses his lips in annoyance and lightly stomps his feet on the grass. “I was trying to be romantic here.”

Fooling him has always been your power, so of course, you push his patience more. “It’s not working, Seungmin,” you wave your hand, smirking, “try harder.”

With a tighter grip on your hand, Seungmin smirks and asks, “Will you trust me?” Oh, he is very sure that the second try will work very well enough to make you flustered. His idea is simpler but stronger than the thunderstorms that speed south to the ocean near the pier.

He will not stop until you say yes, you’ve always known. You’re going to trust him, even if there is an inch of doubt bubbling in your stomach just by looking at the mischievous expression displayed on his face. “Fine, do whatever you want.”

Seungmin picks up the mask you dropped on the cement nearby and pulls it back to his beautiful face. He assumes that you have nothing to expect yet, so he delicately snakes his arms around your waist, immediately giving you an effect on your end. “Would you like to dance with me in there?” he asks, whispering near your ear.

He pulls his head back to check your face for any response, whether you are up for the subtly risky request or not. He was greeted by your quivering lips, no words coming out of them.

Whatever you’re feeling… is not it. It is an understatement to say that you feel flustered by that act. You were electrified once again by his touch. You also felt your hairs stand up after he asked you softly to your ears.

Seungmin quietly calls for your name, tracing circles on your back. He still awaits your answer, still looking at those lips of yours. He wouldn’t mind waiting after the shock he believes you felt.

Instead, Seungmin places his head where it’s supposed to be, on your shoulder. He ties his arms around you tighter and chuckles when he feels you stiffen. “Are you still with me, _____?”

Undeniably stuck in your place, you mumble, “Yes, Seungmin.” Your heart softens when you realize the comfort you feel just being surrounded by him. Something intimate as this can melt the playful demeanor you always exhibit. You lean your head over his on your shoulder, and you mutter, “I’d love to dance with you. I don’t want to lose you, so please make sure nobody can recognize you.”

“Don’t die, please.”

Regardless of how disturbing your request is, it pulled Seungmin’s heartstrings for some reason. Even if defying any possibility of dying is an unrealistic promise, he’d do that just for you.

Losing each other has always been a familiar topic in moments, especially whenever you feel vulnerable. Mayhaps expressing your concern for each other has become your declaration of love. It’s similar to saying that you’re never letting go of each other.

Bloody and bruising missions or situations always come around, and you’d always find a way to let those pass together. It was strangely hard to be on your own and hurting alone, after the devastating news, like losing your grandfather. It was supposed to be easy, but what broke you into pieces and recover much longer than usual is that Seungmin caused it. Your own lover was the one who did it without consciousness taking over him to stop just for you.

With so much destruction left and right while growing up, you two became so numb after every tragedy within your circles. You both resorted to surviving alone and not digging more into the casualties you hear every day with heavy hearts. Why? Because only one will win when the feud is over. Losing anybody hurts so much, and you’d rather not feel that every day. Both of you, as heirs, pray that you two will be the last ones standing, or everybody is still alive if your hands can make that come to life.

But luck will never be on your side. The feud is still lively moving around the city. It’s too late and too grueling to return to peace.

Seungmin looks down and grins, “That’s very idealistic, _____.” You laugh in sorrow together. “But of course, you can trust me with that. I’ll always be here, and that’s all for you.”

Here lies a promise that can be easily broken by a single hit. It’s a vow that is hard to maintain but embraced with genuine and endearing intentions. It’s a promise that he’d still do because of you.

You exhale heavily. “This still feels so wrong to say this, but I hope you know I love you with all of my soul,” you sharply look into his eyes, caressing his cheek, “alright, Seungmin?”

The jitteriness felt from your voice is enough to frighten Seungmin. He knows what that meant—another time of you hitting hard on the ground, doubting your relationship.

This happens once in a while. He knows you tend to overthink the relationship. When you were young, your families were aware of your relationship, much to your dismay—it was one of your biggest problems as a teenager. Merely just being together in the flesh will always make you worry about which family will make the first move in threatening the other. No matter whether the distance between you two is big or small, you will always have a weapon hidden somewhere in your clothes because your family said so.

“You can kill him, _____. This is your chance to kill the rival, their heir!”

Hearing that felt right and wrong. It was too late to hear that. You absolutely fell for him already when you heard your family convince you to take advantage of your relationship to manifest the downfall of the Solanos. You would’ve done that earlier if you didn’t even take an interest in him. But if that did not happen, maybe you’d never uncover what’d feel like to be happy and in love; maybe you’d have buried yourself with anger and misery in every inch of your being.

The Solanos are your family’s rival, after all. They were right to say that you should’ve killed him at every chance you get. You had that chance to pull that dagger into your bottoms and stab him with no one to witness, just the blood as proof. You could’ve avenged him after he killed your own grandfather, but you were too nice to do that.

Your family looked forward to every chance you get to kill the intelligent, romantic, and cunning heir of the Solano gang, hence why it felt wrong in some way. They never took your relationship seriously and used it instead as a weapon. Escaping the sorrowful and unpleasant life of being in a violent gang for love and bliss was the reason it felt right. Finally, you knew you felt butterflies in your stomach, your cheeks heating, your arm hair standing up, and your body tingling—all because of him.

And Seungmin’s your first and last love, for sure. He’ll always be the one even if forces will set you apart, dead or alive.

“I love you too, with my whole heart,” he gives you a soft smile—a sight you always loved, along with his glimmering eyes—and steps back. He reaches out for your hand and says, “You’re safe with me, the same goes for me with you. We’ll be alright, no need to get too concerned.”

Seungmin delicately pulls you back into the function room of the building, looking back at you when you reach past the arc. Your senses were unexpectedly filled with the soft classical music playing in front of the tables and the aroma of the delicious menu for the night. Though your ongoing fear of Seungmin getting caught—especially since he’s right beside you and holding your hand—ruins your mood, hence why a flat expression is visible on your face.

The supposed effect of Seungmin’s touch and presence should be the total opposite—reassuring you enough that you’ll be fine, as he said earlier. And maybe, he is right. He is totally covered with a dark blue mask and an unusual outfit, something he particularly wouldn’t wear—a navy blazer, a white dress shirt, and black slacks. You’re more used to his literally dark appearance, always sporting an all-black outfit. The slight change of outfit is considerably effective in not getting caught by any Leyva.

The look is a nice change for one night. He looks nice, strangely cleaner than usual.

Stopping you in a small space in the middle of the room, he slips his arms around your waist, anticipating your touch on his skin one more time. You two are surrounded by pairs who similarly do the same—arms entangling on each other’s bodies, swaying left and right, looking at each other lovingly. It was an atmosphere that was fair enough to blend in.

You also raise your arms to fasten together around Seungmin’s neck, his skin feeling slightly burning because of your touch on the nape of his neck. “Can we not make ourselves too obvious here?”

He playfully nods and smirks, “That is a challenge but of course. Anything for you, Leyva.” The sight of his smirk makes you want to pull down his mask once again. You want to see his smile, his whole face. You want him to be entirely visible. You want to see all of him in a moment like this.

Inarguably, you’d pull his mask off the second he laced his arms around you if you are in a private place to dance.

People being people, they can overhear your conversation and spread gossip like wildfire. You start with a discussion that can compensate for the profound words and gestures between you two. You hush, asking Seungmin, “How were you able to find the monster and its insects?” You tilt your head and continue, “How did you know they were… one?”

Seungmin shivers over the memory. “We saw everything that happened on our way home. We saw it doing all of it—releasing the insects out from the monster’s back,” he said, with a slightly faster heartbeat. Even if he saw so much blood throughout the years, he’d argue that nothing compares to seeing a beast with havoc in the making.

You retort, “I was expecting it to release those insects from the mouth, what a bummer.” You two laughed.

You shake your head and ask him more about what he found, “Did any of the insects chase you two right after they came out of the monster?”

Seungmin blinks. He slowly opens his mouth, but no words came out of it. You politely smile and nod, understanding how horrific it was for him and his cousin. For him, your expression is a sign to take courage and speak about it, so he shakes his head and blurts out, “The insects were so close to flying to our heads. We had to hide. We covered our heads with sacks and sat behind boxes. Afterward, we ran away, so we didn’t get any of those.”

You close your eyes and sigh in relief. They were safe. “None of you got bitten by those insects, thank goodness. I’d be more devastated than ever if any of you got bitten by those tiny but lethal creatures. We shouldn’t be losing more people.”

Behind the cloth wrapped around Seungmin’s face, he feels terrified, eyebrows furrowing without your notice. He truly wants to protect you. It’s been his biggest priority ever since. But he has to finish what’s deteriorating the city. You should move undercover as soon as possible. There is always someone dying every minute, which has become a norm, something normal for any citizen to see, unfortunately.

Normal until the point where the growing number of incidents related to this subject has been nothing for some. Even within the gang, he hears multiple reports from members within a day. He also once saw someone die in a distance, and he noticed the surrounding people didn’t care. The nurses nearby just dealt with the body and everyone quickly moved on from it. It is undeniably petrifying to know that something destructive like this can damage people’s minds by being numb to such.

He hums in response, agreeing with you. Indeed, the madness should be over as soon as possible. “You must send a letter right away if you’re going to visit the Isidro family,” he gently strokes your back on the soft fabric of your top. “I am sure that we can finish this. If any problem arises, I’ll be there with you, always.”

You play with his collar and respond, “I think I should be the only one going. I don’t want to give you the risk of going there with me.” Pursing your lips, you lower your voice and continue, “I will tell you everything after my visit, so we can make sure that we missed nothing, alright?”

And just then, Seungmin realized that you have established your need to let him live, but what about you? Do you have to be the one facing danger every time just for the sake of his life? “Everything that we’ve been doing has been a massive risk, ____. There wouldn’t be that much loss in accompanying you to their manor—”

“Take your hands off of my cousin, Solano. I know it’s you,” a voice booms around the room, followed by a gun click. The weapon then is pointed right behind Seungmin’s head. “Step back from my cousin, will you?”

You moved to the side to see that Minho was the one interrupting the dance. Gently, you pushed Seungmin immediately and face your cousin. Minho is still not moving. The gun now is pointed in front of you. “Can you put the gun down, my dear cousin?” you softly asked, concerned about all the eyes looking at the scene.

His forehead creasing and his explosive voice filled with aggression, he answers, “_____, I know that voice!” The man resists and pulls up his other hand to point at Seungmin.

Reaching for his wrist in front of you, you make sure that he will shoot nobody in this room. You will make sure that your one and only wish for Seungmin—don’t die, as you said earlier—won’t be broken tonight.

“It’s not him, Minho, leave the poor man alone. He’s someone harmless,” you attempt to push down the gun in his grasp. “He’ll be gone in a second if he stepped into our territory, am I right?” you ask, looking around the room. You saw someone, a masked Jeongin, stepping forward carefully in case anything happens to Seungmin. You warn Minho softly, “Put it down. Everyone’s scared of your gun. Don’t pull it out in an event like this.”

You quickly signal Seungmin to leave the scene. Before Seungmin steps back, he caught your cousin sneering at him.

And a woman’s cry broke the silence when Minho planned to speak.

No.

Someone is dying, again. Because of that one hell of a monster.

You would cry and break down on your knees if you have much time. But no, obviously, you need to move fast like you always do. As much as this is another overwhelming moment you have no choice but to face, you have to push back your tears and do something.

Desperately yelling to everyone to get out of the room might have done the trick. It made everyone sprint to the door, away from the very first victim of the night in this room. You even drag and push those who froze on the spot in panic.

Though what you’ve been doing is not the most efficient, despite it being the only way to get everyone out of the mess. Some of them slowly reaching their throats is on sight. They harshly scratch their throats to kill themselves without any thought, making their blood flood near floors, tables, and chairs.

You’ve been trying your hardest to get out of your limits and bring most of the people to safety. You’ll feel mad at yourself later on if all of them will die for a reason they didn’t ask for.

A lot of them had gotten outside already, thankfully. Even all of the Figueroas have gone home instantly the moment they stepped out of their building. Some are still on their way out of the building, those who just exited the function room.

You quickly walk back and see those who were almost “possessed” by the insects on their heads on the floor, hands still on their scratched and bloodied necks, also surrounded by their own blood.

Maybe you already feel the rage within yourself. You failed to save them. If the insect didn’t fly to their scalps, they could’ve lived longer—longer than what they probably wanted.

Almost bursting into flames over something you can’t control, unfortunately. Even if you want no victim to lie down here and die, that’s something unrealistic to think of, to begin with.

You take a deep breath and shake your head. You really cannot break into pieces in front of them. You shouldn’t do that when you’re supposed to do something bigger.

Something feels wrong though.

You hear someone calling your name. That someone has a familiar voice that you couldn’t think in your head who it is because of the distance.

Quivering over the thought of someone dear dying, you search for the voice.

You find Minho’s younger brother and another beloved cousin, Felix, resisting reaching his hand to his neck. Running towards him, you sob and straddle his waist. You hold onto his wrists, helping him defy the death that has been chasing him. Your jaw clenches in frustration, and you grunt.

“Lix, please, I don’t want to lose you,” you chant his name many times, “not you too, I still want you here.”

In your head, you pray that he’ll live. Why do you keep losing precious people? It has been an ongoing theme in your life, a theme that you couldn’t escape for some reason.

You have been long aware that moving on should be quick if things like these happen, but why can’t you have much time to mourn for one and then move to another? Your emotions can’t seem to give you quick recovery time, leaving you always a mess when you have to let go of somebody.

And apparently, fate wants you to be miserable for the rest of your life. Maybe that’s the consequence you will endlessly face as a gang member. You’ll always be helpless because you easily grow attachments to people around you—something that you shouldn’t do as a gang member, obviously—, including your cousin currently on the floor.

With your heart filled with so much anger and resentment, you did not notice that you have been crying and breathing heavily on top of Felix, still holding onto the wrists that have been moving against his will.

You move your body, hands still on Felix’s wrists and one of your knees on the floor between his legs, to put your other leg on top of his shuffling legs. “Hold on, Felix. Don’t put your hand on your neck!” you cry out. You have been keeping your hands on his wrists, your fingers and palms in pain from the force of your cousin’s arms pushing against you.

Felix’s consciousness is still here, so a part of him has also been trying to bring his arms down. You cannot help but feel your chest getting heavy over seeing your cousin on the edge of losing himself.

He hates what came for him, feeling the same way as you. He’s very inquisitive enough to know everything you’ve been doing for Caasi, including your secret missions with Seungmin (but he held that to himself, knowing that he does not have the right to say that to anybody without your consent). All this time, he knows that you have been finding an end to the madness. He wants to be there for you the moment you have successfully finished what you started.

But he’s been holding way too long. His energy cannot keep up with whatever his body wants to do. And perhaps, this is where he’ll stop.

Unlike you, he finds it easy to move on when he can’t do anything else. Though he already feels guilty to leave you and his older brother, already anticipating the worst states from both of you after his death.

The eyes of Felix, your cousin and your brother, slowly lose their sparks, and your heart cannot help but break a little more over the sight of it. Even just by looking at his face, you know he feels so exhausted already.

If he stop himself a little more, maybe you’d let go of one of his hands and pull out the insects in his head. But you feel someone touch your arms from behind, pulling you back.

You already thought everyone was gone at this point, including your own family.

“Let him go, _____,” you hear Seungmin grunt behind you, continuously pulling your arms away from your cousin. You want to scream, to resist more with what Felix has left, but nothing comes out of your throat. You would do everything to keep one of the most important people alive. You’ll just sulk more and feel more remorse if you leave him here lifeless.

You really can’t seem to move on. You haven’t accepted the true reality, the reality that you have to lose someone tonight. You are filled with so much hope that he’d still survive.

Felix slowly fails to keep up, the strength of his hands is stronger, very close to claw his neck. He tells you, “You heard him, _____, “ he weakly smiles, “I’ll be okay. I don’t want you to go through this either.”

Intensely shaking your head, you put more weight on your leg on top of one of his own. You shake your head one more time and sob harder than before. “You mean so much to me, Lix. I don’t want to lose you, please,” you lean to his chest.

You finally break, feeling all your tears fall to your cousin’s brown button-down. Already lying on his chest, you repeatedly ask him not to let go.

Seungmin calls your name and reaches for your arms. The touch of your lover was enough to tell you that you should get going, even if you don’t want to yet. Felix already looks and feels very weak, and maybe it’s too late to save him.

You sniffle and loosen your grip on your cousin’s pale wrists. “I’ll end this madness for you, Lix. I’ll kill who started this, who made you die like this,” you share your last words with him, your voice shaking with so much anger and your teeth gritting hard. “I’ll let the culprit die without mercy and smear their blood everywhere. They fucking deserve it,” you quietly laugh.

Seungmin felt shivers in his body. His eyes enlarged, your wrathful words made him feel like he was burning. There was so much determination in your voice and your eyes. From that moment, he knew you will not give yourself a break until you have finished what your cousin could’ve seen—you finishing the madness.

He still has a hold on your arms. Then, he asks if you’re ready to get up, and you monotonously say yes. He swiftly pulls you up after you let go of Felix’s wrists.

You choose to not see how your cousin dies with his own hand. So once you’re back up on your feet, you pull Seungmin into your body and cover your eyes with his chest and your ears with his hands.

Seungmin holds onto you just how you want him to, shielding you from more pain to take in until the young man in front of both of you is truly lifeless. When he stares at Felix’s condition—his left arm lying on his chest with his hand painted red and his neck sliced open, blood slowly pouring out to his chest and the floor—, he shudders and exhales deeply. One thing he wanted for you before the night started was a beautiful moment to escape from the current situation you’re in, but what you got was another outrageous nightmare that could change your life once again.

Your lover delicately moves away his hands from your ears, stroking them on your head and your neck to check if any insect flew to your head. He pecks your forehead, mumbling on your skin, “He’s gone now, _____.”

Letting your hands fall from Seungmin’s torso, you move back to look at the body. You firmly clench your fist and strangely glare at the blood on the floor. For the first time, you crave violence. The rage taking over makes you want to kill whoever started the madness, whoever made these creatures. You will end them with your own hands.

It’s like the blood is giving you motivation. You cannot help but feel more driven to finish the madness.

And killing them will be the only thing that will satisfy you for a lifetime.

Seungmin’s name fell off your lips. You walk back to him, asking for his attention. “I’ll send the letter to the Isidros tonight, let’s get over with this. Meet me at the usual spot first thing in the morning, okay?”

He nods and follows you to the door of the function room, also taking an exit to the building itself.

The Solano heir is not sure about something, it could bother him all night, so he doesn’t hesitate and ask, “Will this change of heart affect us?”

You stop on your steps, right under the streetlight in front of an alley, smirking at the sight of Seungmin fearing your furious side will forever take over you, even your relationship.

But your heart will be the one that will always be on top. You’re too soft to let sorrow eat you whole, you even try to avoid that even if it follows you everywhere. The whole time Felix was suffering, agony and desire to avenge were filling the void of this emptiness in your body when your mind is slowly sinking in the fact that you’ll lose him.

“No, Seungmin,” your eyes soften at the sight of Seungmin looking genuinely scared. “I’m just genuinely infuriated that I had to see my own cousin die, and I wasn’t kidding when I said I’ll kill whoever started this mess,” you breathily answer, lightly pulling the hair on your head in heartbreak, “I won’t let my anger get in between us, especially when it’s not supposed to be involved.”

You gulp and continue to try to be nonchalant, “But my heart certainly feels broken, and it might be broken forever after losing him, Seungmin. Losing him just makes me angry at myself for some reason.”

“Even if I say I move on from people I lost when time moves fast, I feel like I’m just eating my own words,” your voice quivers. You feel the adrenaline dying down, affecting your growing vulnerability. “I am not numb to losing people, no matter how long it has been since I last saw them. He, and many people, could’ve lived longer if there was a stronger force that could’ve helped me in saving all of them.”

Before you say your next words, Seungmin rushes to you and embraces you. “Every time I hear someone dies from that monster, I feel so guilty. It makes me overthink whether I’m progressing well in this mission or not,” you let go of everything in his arms, sobbing on his shoulder.

“Crying like this just leads me to anger, Seungmin. I feel so angry, I don’t even have to pinpoint who to blame. Regardless of how much I’m lacking, I seriously want to hunt down who brought those goddamn unmanlike freaks here. I don’t want to know who else I couldn’t save anytime soon.”

Seungmin squeezes you tighter. He wants to console you, but he’d rather let you release everything before he’ll step in. He knows you so much. You’ll unloose yourself and get back up and get a grip when you’re ready. He’ll speak when he knows you’re okay.

You pull his coat, pleading for something you desperately want to do, “Let’s go somewhere else, please. I don’t want to be here.”

And he knows one place.

It shouldn’t be surprising that he brought you to the pier.

Even as kids, when something goes wrong, you two go to the pier. Going here is considered therapeutic. You two will ramble about your worries in front of the ocean. Doing all of that is similar to throwing unwanted matters away, you set free from your problems by dumping all of them into the water.

Quietly playing with Seungmin’s fingers, you blankly stare at the body of water before you. Fatigue somehow ate all of your energy, leaving you with almost any amount of it within you. With your head on top of Seungmin’s shoulder, you close your eyes and take a deep breath of oxygen.

“Do you want to go home already?” Seungmin warmly asks you. “We’ve been here for… 2 hours already? I can bring you home already if you feel like taking a snooze,” he proceeds to play with the hands that were wrapped around his own.

You look at your tangled hands, and your heart melts. Like any other day, you are once again filled with affection and endearment. It feels new after you faced a whole day filled with tragedies. It would only be a dream to make your heart feel this warm for the rest of your life.

“No, I don’t think I’m ready yet to go home,” you mutter. Feeling the hands wrapped around yours hold you tighter, you suddenly think of slowing down and spending the night with him, just like how you’re supposed to do in the first place.

The letter for Jisung can wait.

The blood of many people never left your mind. The memory of it gives you a strange inspiration to end the beast hiding in the city. You’ll move right away after your time with the Solano heir. You’re not stopping by your home and continuing to search for the culprit the next day.

Seungmin has been so gentle with you the whole night, and you couldn’t thank him enough. He has been sticking around through your messy day and hasn’t doubted you even once. Though there were times when he might’ve felt scared, he pushed those fears away the moment he should be dodging them.

Your lover responds, “That’s okay. We can stay here, I’ll look after you when you’ll sleep.”

“No, don’t lose sleep when you need it,” shaking your head in concern, you push yourself away and look at him. You mumble, “I was thinking of stargazing here to get sleepy. I can’t seem to fall asleep even if I feel so exhausted.”

Seungmin cocks his head to the side and asks, “What was that?” He heard what you exactly said, but he couldn’t help but let you say it with your whole chest.

You repeat what you said, and Seungmin’s heart flutters. Stargazing sounds boring, and maybe you’re doing that for that reason. You’ll just stare at the sky and mindlessly count the stars above you until you yawn.

But it will never compete with how romantic it could be. Seungmin always thought stargazing is a dreamlike pursuit. There’s so much emotion to be felt when you’re with someone, only the two of you against thousands of stars in the sky, staring into the infinite.

It’s a side that you’re not familiar with, for sure. He gets overly romantic, but he hasn’t stripped off some of the foolishness within him for a while. Maybe when he gets truly vulnerable, he’ll show how you filled his heart from the bottom to the top.

“If it makes you sleepy, then sure, let’s do it,” he caresses your face with his hands, heart turning to mush.

He lies down on the wooden bridge. He carefully pulls you down on top of him, your head lying right on his chest, near his heart.

There is this beautiful silence flowing around the atmosphere. Your breaths, his heartbeat, and the waves of the ocean combined are soothing. Through the dark, you found ease and protection, taking note of Seungmin’s arms around your torso.

It appears to Seungmin that you don’t need to even glance at the stars, you have brought yourself into a deep slumber as quickly as a fox running. All you needed was the embrace of your lover and a soothing background for your heart to calm down and prepare for a long day ahead.

He can’t take off his mind how much pain you went through in a span of a few hours though. It’s what makes him unable to sleep.

Two words that you pleaded to him spiral in his head, don’t die. He still believes that it’s such an idealistic view to ask someone not to avoid the end of their life. But his promise of keeping himself alive just for you is still there, he wouldn’t let go of that.

Now that he found you devastated after a relative’s death, he couldn’t fathom the possibility of you going through the same thing if he dies.

He wants to laugh at the subject of death. It never leaves him nor you, and for sure, it wouldn’t leave any time soon. The theme of death has been chasing you both ever since you were kids. Death will always be there waiting for you in any step you take. He knows it’s something you always think of.

But he wouldn’t let blood and wounds end him. If the sight of blood gave you a brand new ambition to end the madness, to him, it gave him the motive to live. All he needs is you, and he knows he can do anything. Nothing else can stop him if he’ll always find a way to run past difficulties.

Certainly, Seungmin’s ready to see your powerful, enraged self once again, and he’ll look after himself better tomorrow. Tomorrow will be another eventful day, and he is very eager to defy the limits surrounding you two.

He closes his eyes and subtly smiles, feeling oddly thrilled. He is not sure if he’s going insane, but he knows that he’ll go through the day with you being the insane one. You’ll definitely get pissed off over the people you’ll approach, and he’ll always be there to stop you. He’ll also be there when you frustratingly walk on paths you’re not supposed to take. And he’ll be beside you with his hand tied to yours when you’re in front of your fear—death.

Blood only makes you stronger—both in your personal endeavors and in your relationship. But is blood thicker than water? He is not sure about that, and he is yet to find out on the day he has to choose either his family or you, a Leyva.

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