#please enjoy and i loved writing this oh my god i love stoned jonathan sm

[argylemikewheeler]

lover boy pizza

A follow-up to the ask “fuck it make em all gay” ft @willelbyers reply: “no no no jonathan and argyle as a couple but they don’t know everyone else is also coupled up and they’re high as shit trying to act normal on this now-quintuple date they think is just-bro-time.”

They were meeting at a pizza place, funny enough. Robin-- the one to blurt out the location when the suggestion of them all meeting up came about-- had no idea about Argyle’s “career” back in Lenora. It was just apparently the only place in Hawkins with booths big enough to fit all of them: Jonathan, Argyle, Steve, Nancy, Robin, and Eddie.

The Byers had flown in two days prior. And Argyle just the day before. His arrival to Jonathan’s hometown was meant to be a surprise-- except for the fact that Jonathan saw his plane ticket in the cupholder of his van while Argyle was driving them all to the airport for the Byers’s summer trip to Hawkins.

Will and El were hanging out with Mike for the day-- maybe the rest of the Party too? Jonathan couldn’t hear very well when Will was explaining. He was talking a thousand miles and hour, El talking over him about maybe meeting up with Max at the Arcade-- no need to worry though, they’d all be back at the Wheeler’s house by 10pm.

Jonathan didn’t think their pizza outing would take that long. What would they even talk about? How Steve and Nancy had rekindled their relationship over spring break-- right after Jonathan and her had mutually ended their own relationship? How Robin and six-year-senior Eddie fucking Munson had suddenly discovered each other across high school social circles and sparked a relationship? Well, and then there was Jonathan and Argyle. A something of a mistake coming-together neither of them expected or regretted. But that wasn’t a conversation starter either.

Jonathan thought he’d be running into Steve and Nancy solo, which was manageable. Then it became the couples and Jonathan which was somehow fine but worse. But now that Argyle had flown in-- and he couldn’t not bring him-- it felt like a trap. A surefire way to look like California changed him and made him into a stranger...

So Jonathan was coping, the best way he knew how, in the alley behind the Pizza Station.

“Just relax, Jonathan. If you don’t think it, you won’t say anything. Then no one’s gonna know anything.” Argyle said once they were walking back to the front, pretending to have only gotten there.

“Right right. Don’t even think it.” Jonathan nodded and clenched his jaw. He really wanted the high to hit now, before the awkward hellos. He felt as if every muscle in his body was tensed and made of stone. “That’s easy for you to say.”

“What do you think about us often or something?” Argyle laughed. It was a quiet laugh, not overly tickled or amused by some granular, non-specific moment in the conversation. He was sober and endeared, just a little bit. And yeah, Jonathan was too-- and that’s what he was always thinking about, whenever Argyle was around.

“Shut up and get inside.” Jonathan held the door open and pushed him in.

Inside, it was pretty easy to spot his friends. It was always easy to spot Nancy in a crowd. Her bright eyes and soft outfit colors were a magnet. She was sitting next to Robin on one side of the booth. Jonathan had never really looked at Robin for very long to truly notice what she looked like before meeting her in the Mall. He almost didn’t recognize her now that she was open-mouth laughing, leaning and gripping onto Nancy’s shoulder for support. In their initial hours of meeting one another, no one was laughing. It was a nice sight to see. Steve and Eddie were on the other side of the table. Which meant Jonathan and Argyle had to split and sit across from each other. Jonathan wasn’t sure if that was an improvement or somehow worse: he’d only be able to stare at Argyle.

Oh fuck this wasn’t going to be easy. Not at all.

“Hey! Jonathan!” Steve had turned around in the booth at the sound of the door. He had one arm stretched along the back of the seat behind Eddie and the other raised and flagging him down. “So is this A-Argyle-- am I saying that right?”

“Yeah, man. Argyle’s the name. What’s up?” Argyle reached over and high-fived Steve’s raised hand.

“Oh, uh, thanks.” Steve slowly lowered his hand before running it through his hair. “This is Eddie-- and uh, this is Nancy and Robin.” They all collectively waved before moving over in the booth to make room.

“You look different.” Robin said shortly.

“You look nice.” Nancy said, holding her hand out across Robin. “I think the long hair is nice.”

“I didn’t say it wasn’t! It’s just very different than what I remember. It was all cropped and bowl-ish. Not that that was bad either. Just. You know. Different than this look. You know?”

“I can see where he got the idea.” Eddie flipped the ends of Argyle’s hair as he slid into the booth beside him. Jonathan took the seat beside Nancy. Great, now he was going to be sitting next to his ex-girlfriend while sitting across from his current secret boyfriend while his ex-girlfriend’s no-longer-ex-but-back together-boyfriend sat diagonal to him... This was hell and the weed just wasn’t hitting fast enough.

"Did you guys, uh, order yet?” Jonathan asked.

“Yeah, we just got two pies-- plain and pepperoni-- is that okay?” Nancy asked.

“Dude, have you ever tried pineapple on your pizza? Because honestly I think it’d change your whole world. It’s so good. So tangy and sweet and--”

“Argyle.” Jonathan said. “Maybe now isn’t the time for the Surfer Boy spiel.”

“Oh, but I think anytime is a time for mind-opening revelations about pizza consumption.”

“Like pizza, huh.”

“He works at a pizza place back home.”

“Back home?” Nancy echoed. “Oh, so Lenora is home now?”

“Uh, well, I mean,” Any place love lives would have to be home, right?

“I’m kidding.” Nancy placed a hand on Jonathan’s arm. “I’m glad you like California that much. Glad to see you’re making friends, too.”

"Oh, yeah, Jonathan’s got loads of friends that aren’t me.” Argyle said. He offered no follow-up, only nodding silently. Eddie looked at him, carefully eyeing him up and down. Steve was doing the same but with far more scrutiny. Or maybe it was confusion. It was hard to tell with Steve sometimes. It gave Jonathan very little confidence in how Steve would react if he knew the truth.

It wasn’t that Jonathan was scared of Steve’s reaction, he just didn’t think he’d understand. When had Steve Harrington ever known a gay person in his life-- or whatever Jonathan was. And what about Nancy? What would she think about her ex-boyfriend suddenly being with some guy? Jonathan was less worried about Eddie and Robin, but still concerned that they’d turn their nose up and spill rumors all over Hawkins High. It’d get back to everyone-- the Sinclairs, the Hendersons, the Wheelers...

"So, tell us about California.” Eddie said, waving his hand out to them both. “Any good music out there? Anything we’d envy?”

“The girls.” Argyle said, still nodding.

“Yeah, yeah. The girls are,” Jonathan swallowed thickly. “Nice-- friendly.”

“Oh really?” Robin laughed, lifting an eyebrow.

“Cool it, champ.” Steve reached over and snapped in front of her face. “She’s right here.”

Jonathan laughed along with the others, but felt like he was behind on something. And it didn’t help that at that moment he felt his head become carbonated like a can of Sprite. He fixed his vision straight-ahead just as his vision started to sink into two dimensions. Argyle’s outline in the overhanging lamp light became like a mold to his vision, and anything else he looked at didn’t fit quite as well and didn’t feel quite as right as it felt looking at him and only him...

Jonathan’s vision was disrupted by someone coming and placing two pizzas on the table. Her outline didn’t fit the mold so Jonathan barely looked at her. He kept his eyes forward and waited for Argyle to come into uninterrupted view again. To calm the wrongness of seeing anyone else. His face was a softness that felt like a balm over every anxiety itch in his brain.

Fuck, don’t think about it. Don’t think about it and you won’t say anything.

“God, I’m starving.” Steve muttered, folding a pepperoni slice and immediately taking a bite. “Fuck that’s hot.”

“Yeah, Steven, it just came out of an oven.” Eddie said, grabbing a napkin at the end of the table and holding it underneath Steve’s chin, as if he’d spit the pizza out. Steve resisted but Eddie just lifted the napkin and placed it over his mouth. Jonathan hated the way they were moving-- and not fitting in the settled mold of his eyesight-- and looked away while they wrestled. He was back to looking at Argyle, who was now eating his own slice of pizza. He was pulling the slice back and stretching the hot, gooey cheese out as far as his arm could reach.

Jonathan almost forgot he could eat a slice too. He looked down and found a piece on a paper plate in front of him, Nancy’s hand trailing away.

“Oh, thanks.” He said, turning to her.

She smiled at him and for a moment the mold broke. The brightness of Nancy’s smile and warmth in her eyes broke through and Jonathan felt immense relief. She was still his friend. She still loved him, but the way they all loved each other. The love that was built on goddamn happiness that they’d survived-- and were the reason the other survived. Maybe Nancy wouldn’t feel betrayed if she found out-- No, don’t think about it and you won’t say anything. Jonathan wasn’t going to say anything. He couldn’t risk it getting back to his brother’s friends and then, worse, his brother.

“So, Nancy,” Jonathan said between bites. “You and Steve again?”

“What?” Nancy said, her hair tickling Jonathan’s face as she turned.

“Pardon?” Eddie said.

Steve coughed up a similar noise of confusion.

“What?” Jonathan said. “You two are back together, right? I mean, isn’t that what this is? A double date?”

“Triple, bro.”

“Argyle!” Jonathan snapped, kicking him under the table.

“Uh, Steve and I aren’t together.” Nancy said, furrowing her eyebrows. “How did you get that?”

“We’re... at a pizza place and you two are here. And so are Robin and Eddie.” Jonathan said. It made sense to him; if there were four people, four was divisible by two, and those two sets of two people only made sense if they were Steve and Nancy and Robin and Eddie. And those pairs had to be couples. That was just how things worked.

“Jonathan, we’re not dating.” Nancy repeated. “I’m not dating Steve.”

“Oh. Okay. So you’re not dating Steve.” Jonathan nodded. “Robin, are you?”

“No.” Robin said slowly, drawing the word out. “Getting warmer.”

Was Jonathan feeling warmer? He didn’t think so.

“Wait, what?” Jonathan strained his focus. He looked back at Argyle, who was still just quietly eating his pizza, following Jonathan’s confusion around the table.

“There’s only one person left at this table.” Steve said with a sheepish laugh.

“Where?”

“He’s talking about Eddie, man.” Argyle said suddenly and very loudly. “I think Steve’s telling you he’s gay.”

“Okay, can you not scream?” Steve hushed, leaning forward to stare at Argyle. He didn’t move his arm from behind Eddie though. “Because that’s not exactly what I’m saying, but thanks for the connections.”

“Sorry, man. But dating a guy is kind of gay, historically.”

“It is not.” Jonathan cut in. He wasn’t gay. Like, not the same way other people were gay. He didn’t think so...

“Exactly, Jonathan gets it.” Steve said, motioning to him. “It’s just. Something that’s happening.”

"Respectfully, as the only non-delusional, mildly un-repressed gay person at this table, I don’t really think that’s how it works. Sometimes it means something.”

“Just a little something, though.” Nancy said.

"Wait,” Jonathan said blinking. “Why are you guys talking like everyone at this table is gay?”

“Aren’t we?” Argyle said, crunching his pizza crust.

“No! That’s what we’re saying!” Jonathan cried, swinging his arms out. Nancy pushed his arm down, eyes darting between Jonathan and Argyle.

“Wait, was that a ‘we’?”

“Huh?”

“Oh that was so a ‘we’, Byers.” Steve clapped a hand over his heart as he leaned back and laughed.

“What was? What’s going on?”

“Dude, they figured us out.” Argyle whispered.

“Because you told us!” Eddie cut in, pointing at Argyle with two wiggling pointer fingers.

“I’m so confused.” Jonathan sighed, holding his head in both hands.

“Jonathan,” Nancy said slowly. She was serious but still amused, Jonathan thought. “This is Robin. We’re... going out.”

“She says she experimenting but I think we’ve proven the hypothesis at this point.” Robin added, leaning forward on the table and propping her head up. She winked.

“Shut up!” Nancy said with a giggle. A giggle.

“And Jonathan, dude I barely know,” Eddie said with a slow lean into Steve’s side. “This is my boyfriend, Steve. You know Steve. Ladies man, local hottie. Secretly into dudes. Into me.”

“And everyone this is Jonathan!” Argyle held both his hands out to present him to the table. “We hang out a lot.”

“Right...” Steve nodded. “We got that.”

“Most of the time we make out.”

“Dude!” Jonathan hissed. He lifted a hand to cover his mouth but didn’t lower his voice. “They weren’t supposed to know that.”

“Oh, oops. Forget I said that.”

“Oh, that’s not likely. I will not forget that yet another Byers is gay.” Steve chuckled, grabbing another slice of pizza.

“Wait... Another? Who else is gay? M-My mom?” Silence fell over the table. Argyle kept chewing and crunching his crust. “Oh my god, my mom.”

“No...” Nancy said. “Uh, have you not been noticing when our brothers hang out? I mean. Not to spill their business but I’m pretty sure they call each other every other day and end it with I love you.”

“Little William’s gay for the lanky kid?” Argyle laughed. “Right on, man!”

“My brother is not gay.” Again, the table was silent. “He’s not. We can’t both be gay.”

“You’re gay?” Argyle asked. “Like for real?”

"Okay, maybe this is a conversation you two should have on your own.” Robin said softly, shaking her head. “And maybe a lot less stoned.”

“We’re not!”

“Guys... You came in holding hands.”

(ao3)

#fuck it make em all gay hcs #that's the tag for this universe i'm sure we'll build #steddie #steveddie #ronance #jargyle #what is their tag???? #prompts #st fic #st4 fic #* #please enjoy and i loved writing this oh my god i love stoned jonathan sm #also steddie is growing on me strictly through the lens of jonathan being like NO HOMO NO HOMO NO HOMO OH??? S O M E HOMO? #this WILL be continued also i'm sure #ask away this was so fun