#people on ​this site are so terminally online they think being an oppressor makes you oppressed

[gayvampyr]

misandry truthers dni you’re all annoying and misogynistic

#i don’t think i’ve ever used a dni seriously before but y’all are the worst #go ahead and block me if you’re offended by this. sorry women don’t universally have it easier then you #people on ​this site are so terminally online they think being an oppressor makes you oppressed #‘but what about [minority] men??’ yeah that’s intersectional oppression babe #learn the difference #i was reblogging from the person in my prev post but then i saw a bunch of shit about how if you complain about men as woman then you are #and i quote #a ‘misandrist terf’ #so #take that as you will #not to mention it seems suspiciously aimed at lesbians since we are more likely to complain about men because everything seems to revolve #around them and our lives just don’t #like im all for transmasc positivity and gay/mlm positivity but like #‘cis men are so cool n sxy! masculinity should be celebrated!’ bitch have you been outside lately #and i find it hilarious that their posts imply that lesbians have it easier and that gay men are fetishized more than us #LMAOO #boy get your head out of your ass <3 #and yes i am referring to xam/pyre #do not tag them pls cuz im not interested in starting shit but i needed to say this cuz omfg this sites nrainrot 😬 #lesbophobia

[herrfivehead]

"mid-2010's trans spaces on the internet were kinda dismissive of the shit trans men went through because some folks thought we had the same amount of privilege as cis men (even us non-stealth ones), to the point where i didn’t feel comfortable coming out as male because nobody wanted me to be" 

and "too many terminally online trans men think women in the LGBT community are their direct oppressors to the point of being lesbophobic, transmisogynistic, and often racist (especially in the context of transmedicalism)” 

are coexisting thoughts i’ve had as someone who’s been on this site since before i knew what transness as a concept even was.

i’ve probably rewritten this post five times because i really wanted to specify that these are my observations from the timelines and dashboards i’ve curated over the years (and as someone on the spectrum, i fucking hate being taken out of context so i tend to overexplain).  

maybe you’ve experienced it completely differently.  but i didn’t come out as a binary trans dude until early 2016 because i followed a lot of people who convinced me i’d be making the choice to oppress.  i’d even seen brainrot bullet point lists of “alternate identities other than male” made by other afab trans people.  they thought they were being so progressive, but they were literally just parroting my own mother’s sentiments of “can i call you They instead of He?” and “if you ever realize you’re genderfluid...” (i am Not).

not much later, i’d just seen this massive influx of misogynistic posts (mostly toward lesbians) and got a lot of secondhand embarrassment knowing The Call Was Coming From Inside The House.  as a result, it made me want to distance myself from those men.  but even if i don’t share their ideals, i can’t just pretend we’re not part of the same group.  

the best we as trans guys can do is just like... be self-aware?  realize that systematic oppression isn’t a points system?  talk to other LGBT people outside our groups/genders/ethnicities/social circles?  maybe it’s easy for me to say because i can hop on a train to greenwich today and chat with any 5 gay elders, but if you can’t reach out, then you can’t make those blanket statements either.  the worst thing we can do is wallow in self-hatred for our identities to the point where we just start shitting on women, using the oppression we *do* face as a shield from criticism.