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#past life ?! caus my ♯azn side was all fishers & stuff like my grandfather ETC but like all of them looked anorexic instead of fat so
derpinette
·
20 days
Text
i have this "alter ego" that only exists in my head where essentially i am a fat sloppy drunk old fisherman with no loved ones living in misery & isolation & i often imagine myself as him especially in moments of patheticness
#& he is always a fisherman not a farmer not a fisherwoman either ( too badass... )
#past life ?! caus my ♯azn side was all fishers & stuff like my grandfather ETC but like all of them looked anorexic instead of fat so
#also i imagine the guy as kind of vaguely mediterranean looking so maybe not because that side of my family are mountain farmers
#when i read the old man & the sea ( i hate hemingway BTW ♯NotPete ♯ActuallyMikey ) ( uhm sorry about that... )
#i was like this is my life/future if it was better... 🚬 But that was a good while after i was already thinking of myself like that
#closest thing i felt to a kin moment is when we analyzed miss brill like wow me & i am not even old that is genuinely just my life
#as a (at the time) seventeen year old. & also carol ledoux from repulsion literally 100% only i am an ugly freak instead of beautiful
#i pretty much never think of myself as myself in my head & actually never when i was younger up until age 9 i remember vividly
#& i just had this thought while making my lazy “bite sized” onigiri ( bowl of seasoned rice +tunamayo +vache qui rit +avocado +spoon )
#but even when i make the non lazy version i get so overwhelmed & irritated & SLOPPY i feel like a drunk old man with nothing to
#live for
#anyone else feel like this sometimes...
#if any of you weeaboos judge my terminology by the way i will kill myself just FYI
#IDCCCC about the actual name you know what i mean. quasi poke bowl but each “component” has its own dish. whatever OK...
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