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findjobseasy · 2 months
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ingek73 · 5 years
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The Kingdom Choir
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The Kingdom Choir can divide 2018 neatly in two: before the Royal Wedding, and after. “We thought there’d be a bit of buzz that would die down quickly,” says Ayanna Mitchell, who sings alto. “But it hasn’t.” That might just be the understatement of the year: to date, the singers – all gifted amateurs – have, among other things, toured the UK; performed at the closing ceremony of the Invictus Games in Sydney; sung at Prince Charles’ 70th birthday party; and, to top it all, guested on Strictly.
On the morning of 19 May, the choir’s Instagram account had 700 followers. “By the end of the day, we had 15,000,” says Mitchell, who works at the Department for Work and Pensions, “and we added another 15,000 the following day.” The tally now stands at 47,800 and counting. “The first inkling we had that things had gone a bit crazy was when I got a call at the end of the [wedding] day to say the website’s gone down,” says Vernon Samuels, a former Olympic triple jumper who sings tenor and runs the choir’s site. “I fixed it, and it crashed again a few hours later.” The response to the choir’s passionate performance has been “like a tsunami”, he says.
It all started with a call to Karen Gibson, who founded the choir in 1994. “She told us to keep that date free,” says Kim Samuels, Gibson’s sister, who is also married to Vernon – they run three gospel choirs in Bristol.
One of the most memorable parts of the day, they agree, was the police escort that sped them through London from Buckingham Palace to St George’s Chapel in Windsor. “It was unbelievable,” says Mitchell. “We could see people looking at our bus thinking, who are those people?” For Kemi Bramwell, a lead soprano, “The most amazing moment was when Meghan and Harry left the chapel, and we sang This Little Light Of Mine. It wasn’t filmed, but everyone turned round and clapped. We let go a bit, went a bit more gospel.”
“We’ve been blown away by our success, and what it has done for racial recognition,” Mitchell adds. “A mum of a four-year-old girl told us she had said, ‘Mummy, those people look just like me.’ That is so important. And it’s not just people of colour – I think everyone has felt a genuine connection to us. That’s the power of choral music.”
For Vernon, becoming the royal family’s go-to choir has changed the way he sees himself. “Before, we had the feeling we were just peering in [to that world] – now it’s like they are saying, you are part of us.” This inclusivity, says Kim, “made our friends in the black community feel like they were at the wedding, too, that we were representing them. Coming around the same time as Windrush, it’s felt extra special.”
After a life-changing six months, the choir plans to take Christmas off. Bramwell is hoping for a quiet one: it will be the first Christmas in her new house with her husband. Her life has changed the most: she’s taken a sabbatical from her job as a media paralegal to travel with the choir and enjoy their success, and has since decided to apply for a masters.
Vernon and Kim will be spending Christmas with their extended family. They’re a close knit bunch: their daughter Robyn, who also sings in the choir, lives with Gibson in London. “Karen is like another mum to all our children,” says Kim. What does she want for Christmas? “A nice meal with everyone.” Mitchell is hoping to go “somewhere hot – I’ve planted a seed of an idea with some girlfriends”; if not, she’ll be celebrating with her family. “There’ll be rice and peas and chicken – a big Caribbean knees up.”
source: the Guardian
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amaloaf · 7 years
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All of them
3 Fears3 things I love2 turns on2 turns offMy best friendSexual orientationHow tall am IWhat do I miss right nowFavourite colorDo I have a crush ^ already answered these
Favourite place
my room of the senior lounge in my school
What am I listening to right now
a davenchurch playlist (current song: Something I Need- One Republic) 
Shoe size
9-10 womens
Eye color
brown and gold
Hair color
ALSO brownish-gold
Meaning behind my URL
haha Fenton called me a walking paradox as a joke and it stuck!
Favourite song
literally dont have one but im currently loving “Waving Through a Window” from the dear evan hanson soundtrack
Favourite band
either panic! at the disco or fall out boy
How I feel right now
absolutely awful but you sending this completely boosted my mood!! 
Someone I love
oh sweet jesus, Fenton and Ellie and Pear and Cade and Vinny and Dylan and Sydney and Daffy and Simon and Nico and Jayme and Kiwi and Arily and this is going overboard but i cannot hold all my love in
My current relationship status
painfully single and desperately needing to get laid
My relationship with my parents
no
Favourite season
fall
Tattoos and piercing i have
none, unfortunately 
Tattoos and piercing i want
a septum piercing, 1mm gauges, a second piercing, an outer ear ring, sleeve tats of intertwining roses and dandelions, magnus’ railsplitter somewhere (im still deciding on where..) 
The reasons I joined Tumblr
all my middle school friends had it
Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?
not anymore
Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?
i kissed my dad before 
How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?
cosmetically? five minutes max
Have you shaved your legs in the past three days?
unfortunately i did yesterday  
Where am I right now?
at my desk, sitting on pile of laundry im neglecting 
Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?
i like it quiet
Do I live with my Mom and Dad?
both, but unhappily 
Am I excited for anything?
death, also graduation i guess
Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?
my friends Cade and Dylan are good buddies 
How often do I wear a fake smile?
….. next question
If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
the mcelroys, specifically travis 
What do I think about most?
not to be dark but death 
Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
neither, but behind if i have to be
What was the last lie I told?
“no mom i totally bought this”
Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
i dont do either v much but i really like vids when i can get them
Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
yes and yes (i saw three ghosts in my life)
Do I believe in magic?
hell yeah
Do I believe in luck?
mostly
What’s the weather like right now?
clear night skies with a slight fall nip in the air
What was the last book I’ve read?
animal farm by george orwell 
Do I have any nicknames?
M.K., M, Loaf
Do I spend money or save it?
both? 
Can I touch my nose with a tounge?
nope!
Favourite animal?
hgnnnnn cant choose, maybe sharks?
What was I doing last night at 12 AM?
sleeping 
What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?
Hips Dont Lie! 
What is my favorite word?
bludgeoning because im a nerd 
If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?
CUT THE CRAP AND LEARN TO LIVE TOGETHER IN PEACE GOD DAMN IT
Do I have any relatives in jail?
i deadass dont talk to my family but im p sure one of my cousins was arrested last week 
What is my current desktop picture?
that picture of the sloth photoshopped on a dolphin with the P!NK lyrics
Had sex?
B)
Bought condoms?
no
Gotten pregnant?
oh god no
Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?
no but my first kiss with a boy i got sprayed on at a waterpark 
Had job?
im a partime paralegal 
Smoked weed?
yep
Smoked cigarettes?
for a long ass time in middle school (if im bein real honest im going to pic it back up again probably)
Drank alcohol?
ya
Am I a vegetarian/vegan?
definetly not
Been overweight?
currently am
Been underweight?
when i was born
Gotten my heart broken?
plenty of times
Been to prom?
yes
Been in airplane?
oh yeah, i love flying
Learned another language?
took spanish for 10+ years and dont know a damned word of it 
Wore make up?
ye
Dyed my hair?
no but i really want to 
Had a surgery?
yes! some work on my ear after i fucked it up as a baby
Met someone famous?
a band called After Romeo 
Stalked someone on a social network?
i tend to go through social media when i find new accounts i like but its never stalkerish 
Been fishing?
got the license and everything
Been rejected by a crush?
yea, ive only ever had one crush where it panned out 
What do I want for birthday?
a binder 
Do I like my handwriting?
no
Where do I want to live when older?
idk, im praying i dont end up back in vegas
Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?
got caught reading awful porn once does that count
What I’m really bad at
ohh im really holding back on saying “everything” but if i had to choose wind instruments 
What my greatest achievments are
my art, my relationships, my baby handling skills
The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me
ill give you the second worse: “ well at least being a fattass made you bouncy”
What I’d do if I won in a lottery
buy a house, get a super crazy nice computer, give some money to the friends listed up earlier on the list and draw for all eternity 
What do I like about myself
my eyes and my good heart and my ability to fake good things
My closest Tumblr friend
oh definitely Fenton or @whyldkratts
Any question you’d like?
feel free to send in your own question! 
Are you outgoing or shy?
yes
What kind of people are you attracted to?
soft bellies, thick legs and hips, nice pecs, soft long hair, nice lips
Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?
idk maybe? i hope so, yall can feel free to make the first move ;3
Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?
no, i actually like it! 
Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?
my buddy Cade
What does the most recent text that you sent say?
ok
What are your 5 favorite songs right now?
Something I Need, Michel in the Bathroom, For Forever, Waving Through a Window, and Freeze Your Brain 
Do you like it when people play with your hair?
oh yes!! please play with my hair!!! ((and playing with OTHER peoples hair??? oh boy howdy dont even get me started!!!!))
Do you think there is life on other planets?
hell yes! 
Do you like bubble baths?
sure, no real pref either way
Do you like your neighbors?
NOPE
Where would you like to travel?
yes!
Favorite part of your daily routine?
sleep
What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?
*sweats* yes?? (probably my boobs and stomach, also my arms)
What do you do when you wake up?
stare at the ceiling and mentally prepare myself for the day
Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?
darker, it lost a lot of melinin when i hit puberty for some reason??
Do you ever want to get married?
yes! even if its just a platonic life partner marriage! 
If your hair long enough for a pony tail?
yep
Would you rather live without TV or music?
telivision my man
Have you ever liked someone and never told them?
yep! one time it went to shit the other time it went fairly ok
What are your favorite stores to shop in?
target and hot topic
Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
normally yes but you gotta kno when to get the hell away from certain folks
Do you smile at strangers?
sometimes
Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?
OH yeaaah
Ever wished you were someone else?
every god damned day
Favourite makeup brand?
cheap 
Last thing you ate?
mashed potatoes
Ever won a competition? For what?
won a college science fair in middle school once 
Ever been in love?
im always in love
Facebook or Twitter?
twitter always (pst mines @emiglody95
Twitter or Tumblr?
tumblr 
Are you watching tv right now?
no
What colour are your towels?
beige and brown 
Favourite ice cream flavour?
cookie dough or coffee 
First person you talked to today?
my mother or Ellie i can remember 
Last person you talked to today?
Pear or my day, again i cant remember 
Name a person you hate?
Prestly, Kevin, Zoe, Mike
Name a person you love?
hmm ive already listed a lot of people already so lets go with: Wilson
Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?
remember Kevin from two asks ago? 
Do you tan a lot?
im outside a lot but my tan is mostly natural 
Have any pets?
my dog, Gus! 
Do you type fast?
yes actually!! 
Do you regret anything from your past?
im not lookin to type a paragraph so lets go with yes
Ever broken someone’s heart?
yeah,, 
Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?
every day
Is cheating ever okay?
no, but if your partner got seriously fucked up and it was a total accident and you trust them then MAYBE you can reconsider not throwing their asses out
Do you believe in true love?
to an extent 
What your zodiac sign?
leo! 
Do you believe in ghosts?
id better ive seen three of ‘em
Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?
“ Its fine”, she said primly as she turned back to the trays of jewelry. 
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kennethmjoyner · 5 years
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The #1 Reason People Get Redaction Wrong
2019 may well end up being the year of redaction as it continues to make big headlines globally: The Justice Department Has Clarified Why It Redacted The Mueller Report, Paul Manafort’s Lawyers Tried—and Failed—to Redact This Sensitive Legal Filing, How a Simple Copy/Paste Revealed Explosive New Detail in Manafort’s Case.
DocsCorp, a leading legal technology provider, recently published an industry guide on redaction best practices entitled The Ultimate Guide to Redaction: What Works, What Doesn’t, to educate people about redaction errors. The report looked at why so many legal professionals and others continue to get redaction wrong.
Masking is not redacting
The report concluded that most people mask confidential information in Word and PDF documents with mark-up tools thinking that this is the same as redaction—presumably, what can’t be seen, can’t be read. However, this is not the case. True redaction requires the information to be removed or “burned out” of the document. Only a native PDF redaction tool will do this in a safe and efficient manner.
PDF documents are constructed in layers—for example, text is on one layer and images on another, bookmarks on yet another etc. Thus, simply masking the text or image is not a foolproof method of redaction as you are simply adding annotations to the annotation layer. The text layer remains untouched. Copying the text from the PDF and pasting it into a new Word document will expose the hidden text. Also, flattening a PDF is not the same as burning in a redaction. Flattening simply merges everything onto the text layer, which can be copied despite the black boxes.
The right tool for redaction
So how do you ensure that you have the right tool for the job? Basically, you need a PDF application with a native redaction tool. Only PDF can provide the following safeguards:
Remove content from the document – a PDF redaction tool removes (burns out) the information from the document once the redaction(s) has been applied. It cannot be undone or exposed later because it is no longer in the file.
No metadata – when converting documents to PDF from Word, the metadata is not carried over to the PDF. PDF creators and editors do not generate a lot of document metadata.
Finding the right redaction tool
When looking for a native PDF redaction solution, you need to consider the following 10 must-have redaction features:
Remove content, don’t mask it: your redaction tool must burn out the text from the PDF to ensure it is completely removed from the document.
Handle all PDF types: when you examine a PDF file, there is no conclusive way to visually know which PDF format you’re viewing (Text-PDF, Image-PDF, Image-OCR PDF). It is vital that you use an application with tools specifically designed for redaction. The tool must be able to recognize and redact the PDF file accordingly.
Redact text, graphics, images: your redaction software should be able to permanently remove text, graphics, and images from the PDF document. So, if someone copies the content into another application, the content will not display.
Search and redact: this feature works much like the find and replace function in Word. Type in a word or string of words to locate them in the document. Then you can apply the redaction to one or all of them.
Pattern search and redact: this feature enables you to quickly find and redact information in patterns such as credit card numbers, dates, email addresses, and social security numbers.
Exemption codes to explain redaction: when you redact a word, image or an area of a document, the reader will want to know why this information is blacked out. There are some standard exemption codes that are required by certain courts and other regulatory authorities. However, your software should give you the ability to create your own.
Redaction review workflow: it is not unusual for redactions to be first marked up by a paralegal or legal assistant and then sent to a lawyer for final approval. The lawyer can then apply the redactions as needed or required.
Full-page and multi-page redaction: should you want to redact an entire page; your redaction solution should provide you with the ability to redact a full page as well as a range of pages.
Protect the original document: when the redaction is applied or burned into the PDF document, it should not overwrite the original.
OCR workflow for paper documents: your PDF application should provide OCR workflows for capturing paper documents copied or scanned and converting them to text-searchable PDFs as part of an automated process.
Final thought
Once you have found your native PDF tool, you need to educate users on how to use it…
About Dean Sappey
As President and Co-Founder of DocsCorp, Dean has been the driving force behind its global expansion. Dean continues to work closely with key stakeholders to develop new products and ensure that existing applications deliver real benefits to workplaces. Dean devotes time to speaking at international conferences and forums while overseeing DocsCorp’s international operations. Dean was shortlisted for the ILTA Thought Leader of the Year Award in 2015. He holds a Computer Science degree from the University of Technology, Sydney.
[The above is a sponsored post, meaning that the company paid a sponsorship fee for it to appear here.]
from Law and Politics https://www.lawsitesblog.com/2019/10/the-1-reason-people-get-redaction-wrong.html via http://www.rssmix.com/
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Consider Taking In your Custody Battle With out Hiring An Lawyer
Consider Taking In your Custody Battle With out Hiring An Legal professional
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You’re a Mean One, Mr. Kneef (Part 2)
<- Part 1 | Part 3 ->
For @thatesqcrush​’s Naughty or Nice Holiday Bingo! Filling the Fake Relationship When Visiting Family square. 
Bryan Kneef x Female Reader
Warnings: Language. Holiday fluff. Bryan being the worst... but also hot? Horrible pet names. Nothing nsfw happens this chapter except Bryan’s mouth. 
2,900 words
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The bluish LED headlights of Bryan Kneef’s BMW blinded other drivers as they cut through the dark on the drive to his parents’ suburban house. You ascertained from the hands-free call he was making the family hadn’t started dinner yet. Christmas was close to the winter solstice, so it wasn’t as late as the sky suggested, although you’d heard a hungry child screaming impatiently about having to wait for Uncle Bry.
“Uncle Bry,” you teased as the call ended.
He chuckled. “That would be my brother’s kid, Finn. My brother’s name is Timothy. The CEO of LogicFinance. You will say you’ve ‘heard so much about them.’ Let’s review.”
“Jesus.”
Sitting next to Bryan while his attention wasn’t on you, you lost yourself noticing things. The clean smell of his cologne. How sexy he looked—in a rich douchey way—in his tailored suit and expensive car. His long fingers wrapped around the steering wheel. That beard that made you want to scream, “Daddy!”
You could almost forget he was the asshole who held every paralegal at STR Laurie hostage with busywork unless you pretended to be the woman who dumped him. 
Until he started barking at you to memorize facts about his life.
“First, what do I have to know about this woman I’m supposed to be?”
He stared straight ahead at the road. “Her name is Sydney. So you’re Syd from now on.”
“Oh joy. Being called your ex’s name all night won’t be weird or anything.”
“You were the one who wanted to get out of work.”
“Whatever. I bet you already forgot my real name, anyway.”
He didn’t contradict you. The engine roared to life as he changed lanes before signaling and cut off the SUV he’d been tailgating for the last mile.
Your arms crossed over your chest. “How much did you tell your family about Sydney? I hope you didn’t send them any pictures.”
“Not much, and obviously not. I’m not stupid.”
“Just pathetic.”
He scowled. Before he could think of a searing response to take back control of the conversation, you asked another question that knocked him off balance.
“What made this one so different? We’ve been working together for what, a year? And I’ve never seen you upset over a breakup.”
“The sex was fantastic,” he answered too loudly.
“Uh-huh.”
“Oh yeah. I’ve never had a woman who could keep up with me—”
“Because you finish too quickly?”
“Cute. Keep it up.” He stepped on the gas again and your stomach lurched as he pulled off another aggressive passing maneuver in the right lane. “No one walks away from my bed unsatisfied. You could find out. A little reward for helping me out tonight?”
“Not in a million years,” you clipped, shutting him down, even though your wild, lonely, horny side that noticed his beard and fingers was beating at the inside of your skull. “You are going to keep it decent and chaste. Ground rules: holding hands. Kisses on the cheek. Moderate cuddling as the situation calls for it. That should be plenty to sell that we’re involved.”
“You haven’t seen me around women I’m involved with,” he smirked with a suggestive glint in the side of his eye.
“And I’m sure your parents haven’t seen you with a partner who isn’t just some bimbo you’re screwing, either. Cop a feel, and I end the charade right there.”
That comment, which was more insightful than you knew, silenced him. His suggestive side-glance returned forward to focus on the road. That look was back on his face again—the look when he ran out of swaggering bullshit to spew. Sadness. Genuine human sadness.
“She wasn’t clingy,” he said, voice a soft rumble. “Didn’t expect me to be her fucking boyfriend—she was the one who told me no strings.”
“You loved her because she was distant?”
“No. I don’t know. She did nice things, too—like ask how my day was, and bring me coffee. She remembered the way I like it.”
“That’s just basic human kindness, Bryan.” You sighed. “That’s actually… really sad.”
“Fuck you.”
“I mean it. You call women clingy for wanting to be close to you, and now you’re so starved for connection you think remembering your coffee order is a huge deal. Your secretary knows your coffee order. Hell, I know your damned coffee order you’ve sent me out for it enough times, even though—as I often remind you—that’s not my job. I’m sorry. Really. But maybe this is a lesson? That you actually have a heart and might want to try opening it sometime?”
“How the fuck is that the lesson? I open my heart, I get hurt. From now on, I’m only dating broads who disgust me.” His eyes lingered on you for a dangerously long time until you got the point and gave an annoyed grunt. His eyes returned to the road, corners crinkled in satisfaction.
***
Dinner was already starting when Bryan’s BMW finally pulled into the driveway of a large house on a private cul-de-sac. The porch was glowing with tasteful white lights and a wreath on the door. Silhouettes were moving behind the decorative glass set into the front door, waiting for you to get out of the car. As soon as you approached, the door flew open and you were hit with the smell of roast turkey.
“Bry-Bry! We were worried you wouldn’t make it!” His silver-haired mother threw her arms around Bryan’s neck while he grumbled with reluctant affection, hugging her back.
A rich oaken voice of the man who must have been his father said, “And this must be the famous Sydney. We thought we’d never get to meet you.” He shook your hand warmly.
Both of them were wearing hideous red and green Christmas sweaters straight out of a Hallmark movie.
“I can’t believe this one hasn’t driven you away!” Bryan’s mom teased, pinching his pink cheek as she did so. “We’re so happy you put up with our little monster.” She hugged you.
“Come, come on in. Let me take your coat. We were just starting dinner—you’re right on time.” His dad helped you shrug your winter coat off and hung it up in the entryway closet for you.
This was… bizarre. How the hell did people this friendly churn out a Bryan?
More shocking still was when you felt warm, long fingers twine between yours, and you nearly tore your hand away before remembering you had a “boyfriend” tonight. Bryan smiled at you sweetly, eyes soft and affectionate.
Yep. You’d fallen into some kind of Bizarro World.
Martha, his mother, led you both through the spacious house toward the dining room. “What do you think of our humble home?” she asked, pausing in the living room. “I keep thinking I should move that chair to the other side of the fireplace. What do you think? Would it flow better?”
“Uh, I’m not really—”
“Mom! We’re hungry,” Bryan snapped.
“Oh, come on, honey, let me pick her brain! It’s not every day we have an interior designer in here.”
“Bryan told you I’m an interior designer?” Your mouth smiled pleasantly at Bryan while your eyes stabbed daggers into his stupid handsome face.
“Obviously I forgot I mentioned it,” he smiled back.
You batted your eyes. Now the daggers were on fire.
“Well, what do you think? Chair on the left, or the right?”
“Well,” you said, “the symmetry with the fireplace is… balanced with the rich tones in the leather”—Martha nodded along attentively—“You know, I’ve been working all day, maybe we can talk shop later?”
“Oh! Of course! I’m sorry—Bryan’s mean old mom ambushing you the minute you walk in the door!” She flexed her hand into vampire-claws and playfully attacked your shoulder. “Aw, are the stuffy old adults embarrassing you, peanut?”
Bryan’s cheeks turned the brightest pink you had ever seen them. And this was a man who didn’t blush when telling a roomful of attorneys to go fuck themselves. You let out the first genuine laugh you’d made in his presence. You squeezed his hand.
“Honey-bear, I love your parents!”
***
The table was crowded with Kneef siblings, cousins, and their children and spouses. Finn, you guessed, was the youngest boy. And that would make the silver fox next to him Timothy. His older brother had the same bluntness as Bryan, but none of the cruelty. In fact, his entire family was so… normal.
Bryan’s hard edges were hardly softened in their presence, but unlike in the office where his cranky moods inspired fear, here they were met with boos and hisses and his cousin throwing a bread roll at him. The youngest kids mimicked this exciting behavior, and soon it was raining whole-wheat on Bryan Kneef.
You smiled and patted his hand and called him “dear” and made sure your mouth was full of turkey the moment anyone asked you about yourself.
Over the evening, you learned that Mrs. Martha Kneef put herself through nursing school after having her first child to support the family while her husband piddled around with his low-paying hobby in computers. By the time Bryan was born, his father was programming for a growing company, working his way up the ranks—back in the days when one could do that. By the time Bryan was ten, dad was the Chief Information Officer of one of the largest corporations in the country.
And so Bryan, the youngest, grew up with a silver spoon in his mouth, handed all the things his parents had worked hard for in the hopes that he would have a better life.
“All the child-rearing books at the time said encouragement was important,” said Martha, who was a little drunk on red wine at this point. She let out an exasperated groan. “This is what happens when you encourage too much. We created a monster. Didn’t we?” Her voice went higher as she pinched Bryan’s cheek again.
“Martha and I are so happy to see him finally settling down with someone.”
“Yeah, how’d you manage to find a girl who’ll put up with you?” Tim teased, punching Bryan’s arm.
Bryan stared back. Locked eyes with his brother. He took a deep breath. “How’d you manage to—”
Bryan then asked something too obscene to be repeated, which set the entire table screaming, and parents’ hands clamping over children’s ears (though not before an adorable curly-haired niece asked, “mommy, what’s a prolapsed rectum?”).
You should have been offended, or embarrassed to be attached to the guy wrecking Christmas without even needing to be drunk. But oddly, as hot as your cheeks were, you found yourself laughing. You were dating the most interesting guy at the table. He was so overwhelmingly charismatic—not necessarily in a positive way, but in a way that made him the center of attention in any room he walked into. And he was charming enough for people to keep wanting him around, even when he said things that... were probably going to scar those children for life. Not to mention the adults.
Reaching over, you cupped the opposite side of his cheek and forced him to turn his head to you. “You’re so bad, Bry. How do I put up with you?” You began affectionately scratching his beard like it was something you’d done to him a hundred times. “He’s just so cute, I can’t resist. Settle down now, baby.”
His mom gave a loud, “Aww” and Bryan side-eyed his brother, who snorted.
You were getting into it, mussing up his perfect beard in a way that was sure to annoy him later—but it wasn’t annoying him that was on your mind. It was more the feeling of that coarse but soft hair under your fingertips, the shape of his jawline… the way he was staring back at you, eyelids drooping…
“It’s really the beard I’m dating—if he ever shaves, we’re breaking up,” you joked, suddenly needing to crush the romantic mood. It worked. His family laughed, and Bryan scowled, catching your wrist to make you stop.
***
Bryan wanted to leave right after dinner, but his mother wheedled him to stay.
“We’ve still got your bedroom set up if you want to sleep here. Think of it—we could have Christmas morning together just like when you and Timmy were babies!”
“Ma! I couldn’t impose on Syd. She… has a cat.”
Great. More backstory to remember. You surreptitiously elbowed him in the side.
Bryan got his dominating instincts from somewhere, though. The big ask to stay the night was a tactic to make him give in to the smaller ask of staying for hot cocoa and holiday movies.
Bryan had yet to recover from your crack about breaking up with him and forgot to play the part of the affectionate boyfriend. While her husband was explaining the intricacies of a particular wireless security device to whichever cousins would listen, Martha casually sidled up and whispered, “You don’t have to be shy about PDA in front of us old people. We’ve seen everything.”
“Oh! Uh...” Your mouth gaped, unsure how the fuck to respond to that.
Bryan overheard it and rolled his eyes with a groan. “Ma!”
He looked so grumpy and annoyed, something about it made you kiss him on the cheek. Just to put to rest his mother’s suspicions! That must have been it.
Then Bryan was all fire again, his eyes glittering above a wicked smirk. He grabbed your waist and pulled you roughly against his arousingly solid body, covering your neck with wet, open-mouthed kisses. Oh god, hot. He was definitely only doing this to make his mom uncomfortable, and if you knew Bryan, he wouldn’t stop until she regretted meddling or he was fucking you on the stack of presents under the tree. So why was your skin too hot? Why did it prickle everywhere his hand wandered? Palming your curves, sliding down to your hips, lowering over the swell of—
You leaned close until your lips brushed the shell of his ear. “Watch your hands, or HR is hearing all about this,” you warned, then pulled away smiling.
Bryan smiled back. “Of course, babycakes.”
“You lovebirds! Keep it PG.”
He warned you in the car that no one would buy him keeping things chaste, didn’t he? Well, you weren’t going to be the one to blow your cover.
When you filed into the living room where the kids were already watching A Christmas Story, there was only one spot left on the couch, and an empty armchair. Bryan flopped down on the recliner, and you sat on his lap. His chest vibrated as he gave an encouraging growl, cocking an eyebrow at you.
“You didn’t expect me to sit alone, did you, honey-bear?” you cooed.
His hand moved to support your hip, cradling you close to him. The other hand covered yours, which was resting on your knee. It was just a performance, but god, his hands were so big and warm, and the gesture so remarkably soft. You let yourself recline back against his chest, and turned your head to inspect his profile—the greying at his temple, a strong, square brow that shaded such lively green eyes.
A fire danced in the fireplace, stockings hung up neatly above it. A tree in the opposite corner filled the room with a piny balsam scent. The whole scene felt so domestic. Bryan’s beard scratched the side of your face, the soft cashmere of the sweater he’d thrown on over his dress shirt making him a comfortable cuddle partner. Suddenly you could imagine perfectly well why someone might put up with him.
“So, Sydney, how did you meet Bryan?” his father asked. A few other prying relatives leaned forward, and you began to sweat.
“Oh… I’m sure Bryan’s already told this story,” you deflected, glancing at him for assistance. Bryan frowned.
“It was through a case.” His evasive answer only made everyone more curious.
“What kind of case?”
“A divorce case.”
A bark of laughter leaped from your throat before you could hold it in, and you had to quickly disguise it as the kind of nostalgic laugh you get from an inside joke. “It’s true”—you stroked Bryan’s beard—“I think he only slept with me as part of the victory, you know? Took my ex’s money, took his wife. You know our Bryan,” you giggled. You would bet money that was exactly how it happened, too. “It’s a major rebound for me. But it’s been working out. Bryan has this whole other side to him that people don’t see.”
He looked at you. The clarity of his green eyes caught you off guard, and you felt a burning heat creeping up the side of your neck toward your ears.
“Well, we’re so happy to meet you!”
“You dog, Bry.”
“Want to see baby pictures?”
The last voice was Martha’s.
“No.” Bryan said. “She doesn’t.”
Of your asshole boss? Why yes. Yes, you did.
“He used to be such a sweet little peanut.” His mother always seemed eager to stir trouble for her brat of a son. “Just wait until you see how cute he was in diapers.”
“No!” Bryan groaned, but couldn’t stop you from following Martha to the family photo albums.
He had no power here.
• ● • ━━━━━─ ••●•• ─━━━━━ • ● •
Tagged: @beccabarba​ / @caked-crusader​ / @itsjustmyfantasyroom​ / @thatesqcrush​ / @dianilaws​ / @permanentlydizzy​ / @mrsrafaelbarba​ / @madamsnape921​ / @astrangegirlsmind​ / @neely1177​ / @onerestein​ / @welcometothemadxxhouse​ / @stardust-fray​ / @dreila03​ / @tropes-and-tales​ / @the-baby-bookworm​ / @ireadfanfictionontheweekends​ 
(I also just tagged everyone who commented/reblogged the last chapter even if u didn’t ask so uhhh >_> lmk if you hate that?)
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