#parentification and the weird gross side of it

[raphmybeloved]

Mama

This is a little fic I made for @idiot-mushroom 's Teenage Turtle Ninja Mutants iteration. This is not canon to that iteration but I was just thinking a lot about shitty parents who suck at boundaries and the combination of oldest daughter syndrome and this was born.

TW there is no actual incest but Splinter makes an incredibly poor taste joke along those lines that's uncomfy to read

Raph doesn’t know when her brothers first start calling her mama. They mostly use it to tease her or complain that he’s a mother henning them. She thinks there may have been a time where it annoyed her but these days he likes it. 

As far as nicknames go it’s pretty solid and better than the normal dipshit and dickface that they tend to call each other. 

It doesn’t bother her. Until it does.

At first none of them put any thought into Leo entering the kitchen with a “hey mama what’s cooking?” It’s practically a guaranteed reaction from Leo when he sees Raph wearing an apron. It's normal.

They aren’t thinking about the fact that Splinter is in the room.

“Mama?” Splinters asks and Raph watches her siblings all freeze. This could go bad. Splinter's parenting is one of those things he’s sensitive about and there's always a chance he’ll have a reaction even to something as small as a nickname.

Splinter laughs and Raph knows it should be her cue to relax like her brothers are doing but she just can’t. She just has a feeling of dread that keeps her shoulders tense.

“Oh Mama, that is hilarious. Raphael is such a good mama after all. Always taking care of cooking and cleaning! It’s like he is my little wife ha!” 

Raph watches her brothers relieved awkward smiles transform into uncomfortable grimaces. He has no idea what his own face looks like or even how to fix it to an appropriate expression. Splinter seems to be immune to the clear discomfort that is drowning the rest of them as he continues laughing.

“Alright ‘mama’ I am going out,” Splinter says, patting Raph on the back before heading to the door. “Make sure to put the kids in bed.” 

The silence after he closes the door is suffocating until it isn’t. His brother’s are talking but Raph doesn’t really know what they are saying. Everything is a little too fuzzy to understand and it's hard for Raph to fully comprehend anything except this feeling of wrongness..

She feels weird. She feels gross. He can’t even quite pinpoint why but the feeling just consumes her. Eventually he must have shaken it off even if he can’t remember doing so because suddenly he’s in bed and everyones eaten and the lights are out.

She has no choice but to try to fall asleep and ignore the phantom feeling of bugs crawling all over her.

Like a lot of things they don’t talk about it. Her brother’s stop calling him mama as much and she tries to ignore the feeling of wanting to vomit whenever splinter says it.

She would have probably continued to never talk about it if it wasn’t for Casey Jones.

It's a fire escape night. A routine for just Raph and Casey to look out at the city, eat snacks, and shoot the shit. No siblings, no responsibilities, just a flimsy little platform that could give out any moment and two teens who don’t care. 

“So is something up?” Casey asks. The snack of the night is sunflower seeds and Casey seems determined to get as many shells into a flower pot on a balcony across the alley between apartment buildings and is mostly failing at his goal.

“What do ya mean?” Raph asks. She wishes she could join Casey in his quest but he eats her sunflower shells whole in a way that horrifies her friends and family and therefore has nothing to throw. Instead she picks at her nail beds.

“You’ve been weird, Mikey called you mama and you flinched. You’ve never done that before.” Casey says and not for the first time Raph is reminded that Casey is far more observant than he lets on.

“It’s nothin,” Raph mutters. 

“C’mon you know I don’t believe that.” Casey stops his sunflower seed mission and turns to look at her. There's something about the look Casey is giving him that Raph actually wants to tell him. 

“Splinter caught on to them calling me ‘mama’ and now he's started doing it,” Raph tries to keep her voice even as she stares out into the city but she can feel the bitterness sink in. “Pretty sure he can tell I don’t like it but he won’t stop.”

There's a moment of quiet before Casey lets out a hiss of air from his teeth.

“That sucks.” There's another moment before Casey lets out a small laugh.

“What’s so funny asshole?” Raph says glaring at the boy who is unfortunately her best friend

“Your dad is such an ass that he accidentally validated your gender. I mean obviously he’s being a dick but it’s just kind of funny that he is doing it in a way that uses feminine terms after trying to ignore your whole deal for so long.” Casey snorts, “What a fucking idiot.”

Raph looks at Casey. In a way he’s right. Splinter has brushed off any attempt Raph made to come out and now he’s using a feminine term. Sure it’s in a shitty way. At best it’s a crappy consolation prize and it doesn’t fix the weird gross feeling but-

Casey is trying. Raph shared an actual feeling and Casey isn’t mocking isn’t ignoring he’s trying to make her feel better. It’s.. nice. It helps Raph push away that gross feeling Splinter brings.

“Yeah,” she says. “What an idiot.” 

Things aren’t really better. Splinter is still an ass and Raph is still stuck in a situation where he just has to deal with it but when Casey smiles at him it's not hard to smile back.  

She at least has that.

#teenage turtle ninja mutants #turtle fic #ttnm #parentification and the weird gross side of it #mushroom if this isn't to your liking and the vibes are off lemme know and i'll delete #god this iteration lives in my head rent free I might fuck around and write another fic for it

[lovesaved]

few things about bella;

idk who smeyer is. she and her weird m*rmon ideals mean nothing to me

bella is autistic 💖

she's weird as hell. loves bugs and art and has just a ton of sketchbooks absolutely packed with beetle drawings.

she is carrying charlie's tradition of being the token white in a native friend group. every summer she jacob and leah were this insufferable trio who rode their bikes around getting into hijinks and playing in the creeks

she stopped spending summers in forks when she was around 13 because at that point the roles were completely reversed between her and rene and she was the one who had to be the grown-up between them :( she worried about things like who would make dinner and ensure the bills were paid if she wasn't there even for a few months.

charlie never really knows the extent of the neglect and parentification. bella takes pains to make sure he doesn't. she doesn't want him thinking less of her 💔

he picks up hints all the time though. everything from bella being nearly alarmed at the fact the groceries and meals aren't her responsibility anymore to charlie setting a curfew and sticking to it.

when she sees jacob that first time after arriving she launches herself at him like a 5ft tall grenade and he's like "bella no I'm holding coffee!" but he chucks it to the side to catch her <3

the kids at forks high do genuinely like her and want to be her friend but she's guarded as fuck bc this was a favorite bullying tactic of her peers in phoenix; pretend to be her friend in order to make fun of her. she also wouldn't know a social cue if it hit her in the face.

edward is less romantically inclined toward her as he is FASCINATED by not being able to read her mind. he approaches her like one would a particularly difficult rubix cube. meanwhile, bella wants to study him like a bug.

jacob is fucking TERRIFIED when she starts hanging out with the c.ullens bc that is his best friend and he still so clearly sees her as the girl who would cry if someone called beetles gross. he's convinced the c.ullens are gonna chew her up and spit her out. but he can't tell her about it bc they aren't his secrets to share.

more tba

#bella tbt #neglect cw