#ozzie did call Blitz Fizz‘ „hero“ after all

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Pls tell your fizzablitz headcanons

Please please please

For whatever reason I’m feeling very angsty about them today. I have this whole idea of Fizz thinking he didn’t mean as much to Blitzø as he did to him.

Growing up, fizz felt like a bit of a dork. He was and still is very nerdy, when blitz came back from his theft hunt as a kid Fizz was the most excited by the books, and by the tiny piece of sparkling chandelier he gifted to fizz especially. It shimmers beautifully and it began his fixation with mirrors and how pretty they are.

The other kids didn’t like him much, they felt too inferior. They picked on him. But blitzo was too arrogant to feel that way, or maybe he had too much heart. Fizz started out way back then, wearing the patchy clothes while Blitzø wore the clean suit. Until he decided to let fizz wear it for good luck. He began by telling blitzos own jokes that he gave him, until eventually he became better at them. But he never understood why he stopped smiling back. He wanted B to be proud of him, he wanted to be on equal terms with the ringleaders son. He wanted to make enough money to stand next to him in their own circus, or run away together to do something else. B was his favourite person, his hero, his first kiss, his massive crush, his first…well you know, his first time. But he never felt good enough. He wasn’t sure if he was loved at the circus. Maybe the way mammon could love him. If he worked hard enough.

He still keeps the piece of mirror, and stares at it when he’s all alone. He keeps a heart shaped locket with Ozzies name on it, but inside, it’s not Ozzie, there’s a photo of him together with Blitzo on the other side. Fizz scribbled out his own face in shame. He’s dealt with “unrequited” love for Blitzø for so long, seeing him with someone else pisses him off more than anything. His whole love life and sex life pisses him off, he can’t stop ranting about it, and he doesn’t even know why he still thinks about it. For years all he did was talk about him, Asmodeus doesn’t know why either. At least not yet.

He was going to gift something to Blitzø one day, he had typed up a letter on his type writer, it was something poetic, sappy and embarrassing. A written out version of their dream. Asking blitz to choose him, stay next to him, hold his hand and hold him close. He calls him the star of the circus, and in Fizz’s eyes Blitz is his star too. The guiding kind. The loyal kind who helps you when you feel lost. But so far away. Only when he leaves the tent, he sees him with one of the girls at the circus, actually, it’s a much older woman, he’s holding her, the way he wants to be kissed by him, kissing her with fervour, the way he wants to be kissed, and it’s agony to see it. It hurts so much. But it shouldn’t, Blitzø has a different person on his arm every other week. Fizz isn’t his partner, he’s just the circus star. He leaves and doesn’t see B almost pass out after, from whatever it was she spiked his drink with. He screams at her to get the fuck away from him. Fizz burns his shitty childish letter.

He’s seen how Blitzø throws himself at other people, not understanding that cash sells him to any people in the crowd who desire him and want to own him for the day. Almost like the way cash tried to get fizz to do a private show for someone, maybe a birthday party? But it was just a single man in the room, sitting on a chair, asking him to dance. Weird. He blew him some balloons and played with the confetti. The guy was really tired at the end? But fizz did everything? And. For some reason, Blitzø was so angry about it. He hated the guy, but wasn’t that man just lonely?

Later, Mammon made him do a lot of these. The mystery became less apparent. At least they didn’t put their hands on the merchandise. Him. Because he hated that. Now, he had to stop looking behind him for Blitzø to be there, to tell him that it’s ok, that it’s safe, or when it’s not safe, and to get behind him. He will protect him from the creeps. But he’s gone, he left, he got sick of him, he wasn’t good enough for him, his tastes are more regal now. Maybe they always have been. Ever since he was little and went off with that strange kid client, his new playmate of the day. Fizz’s replacement. Maybe if that first show was more perfect, Blitzø wouldn’t have left him. Maybe if he just followed his lead and played pirates, he wouldn’t have left him. He has to let other people tell him what to do, stop fighting back so much. It’s not what people want. People don’t like that. Now that Asmodeus is here, he makes him laugh, he protects him..sometimes. But he never reacts fast enough. When he passed out at Ozzies, and woke up again, the first thing he saw was Blitzs back, again, leaving him, again, leaving him with that Prince. Whatever, he doesn’t actually care.

#helluva boss #blitzfizz #fizzarolli #angst #info dump #story dump