#original lovable bastard man

[linddzz]

officially the best line in The Odyssey

#original lovable bastard man #the odyssey #ancient greek #tagamemnon #'trust me bro' said the fuckin liar

[onmyyan]

🗡️Psycho🗡️ Anon, here again!

Here’s some Ashley Hunt brain rot cause I adore this man too. Not sure if you’d like it though, so lemme know…

So I was thinking about all those cliche hallmark movies and similar ones where a big city girl is forced to go to the country for some shit. Like a family reunion or she sent there to “connect to her roots” or some bullshit reason. And the entire movie is just city girl having some weird spiritual journey falling in love with the country and some farm boy beau, literally abandoning her entire established life to go pick flowers and get fucked by cowboy dick. It’s like some conservative feverdream propaganda to be honest. City=bad country=good. So what if that’s what us readers were in a AU? A hardcore city girl who wanted to get the fuck out of hick town after helping grandma. And so here the brain rot I had with how Ash is gonna pound us and make us his lil stepford wife…

We are hella terse upon arrival to our gran’s house. Meetin Ash we still polite but we ain’t here to make friends n shit. Ash bein the fine gentlemen he is, still offers to help fix stuff. We ain’t stupid, cause anything to help gran settle faster means we get to leave the hicks faster. We agree and offer to reimburse financially Ash for the extra work he’s doin. Ash ain’t stupid either and wants our time instead of money. Wants to take us out to see the town and country to show us that it ain’t as bad as we think. We reluctantly agree, cause the Wi-Fi is shit in the house and we might die from boredom otherwise…

Ash purposely fixes the house slowly each day and afterwards takes us on different outings. Sometimes it’s to the town to show us places and to introduce us to everyone. Other times it’ll be around his farm, around beautiful nature landscapes, etc. Man is an intelligent and fuckin fine ass manipulative suave, cause he’ll purposefully take us around dusk when the sun be settin when the sun be in the low with that horrible glare in your eyes…if you don’t got a hat on…And that what he do. He knows we got no hat, so every fuckin time he puts his cowboy hat on top of our head to “protect our eyes n face” and we don’t know the fucking cowboy hat rule! So here he is flauntin us aroun town on his horse with us wearin his cowboy hat sittin in front of him as he guides the horse from behind us. Smilin n shit to all the locals who obviously know something we don’t…

Durin these outings we gradually be openin up to Ash. Not because we want to. But cause we gotta as he’s the only person to talk to aside from gran. Lack of socialization be real torture…We still dead set on goin back to the city. Cause we ain’t some cliche movie protagonist. We gotta life we love back home. It ain’t shit to contrary belief. We tell him we appreciate everything he’s done for us and we’ll leave in a week since gran should be alright by then. Now this is when Ash is starting to go full yandere at this point…

As we helping Ash one day fix one of the last issues in the house, so conveniently we get injured on the head and have to be taken to the local doc for some stitches. Like the entire town, the doc loves Ash and Ash easily lies and convinces the doc to remove our IUD too while we’re knocked out from the anesthesia. We had told Ash during one of our conversations that we didn’t need to go to the pharmacy for birth control pills as we had an IUD instead. So Ash being the lovable bastard he is, told the doc that we were wanting to try for a baby asap and that I had a horrible time gettin the IUD originally inserted. So it was better for me if I was unconscious for the procedure. And so now we have no IUD but alas think we still have birth control when we left absolutely defenseless…

We get the stitches too, wake up, and Ash takes us back home and takes care of us with the small help of gran. We gotta stay a bit longer now from the urge of our gran and Ash unfortunately so we do just that. Ash is very stellar at takin care of us even though our injury is still minor and we don’t have broken legs or anything so we can navigate and take care of ourselves just fine. But Ash insists sense he blames himself for our injury. He makes sure to feed us and hydrate us and give us our medication the doc prescribed to make sure we’re fine. A while passes a bit more and we are just itchin to get the fuck out of town. We tell Ash we’re finally going to leave tomorrow. And that’s that…

Ash wants to give us a proper farewell so invites us over that night to his house for a few drinks. We see no reason to decline and blissfully go over. We get drunk easily cause we’re a light weight and in the midst of our intoxication confess to him that we find him “damn hot” and we’d have loved to pursue a relationship with him if he was livin in the city and not out in hickville. He coaxes out of us our true feelings about him and we shyly admit that we think we’d fallen for him over the time we’ve gotten to know him. And this sends this motherfucka over the final edge. He was already gonna make us his from when he first saw us, but the confession solidified our mutual attraction and “love” for each other…

Ash then proceeds to take our face gently into his hands and gently kisses our lips in response. We lean into it, letting our drunk poor decision making skills taking over. We leaving tomorrow, so why not let this happen? What’s the worst that can happen? Let’s just ride the cowboy for fucks sake. We got nothing to lose…

Ash is romantic and hella skillful. He can work our body easily and gets more passionate as we totally let loose. He picks us up and latches our legs around his waist while still kissing, all while walking easily to his bedroom to do the deed. Artfully he unwraps us and himself and he makes the best fuckin love to us we’ve ever had. Nobody ever has come close to what this fine ass motherfucka has performed on us. Our pleasure was constantly put first, the aftercare was a godsend, and we were almost having second thoughts leaving the town so soon. Almost…

We wake up hungover and sore in the best ways possible with cum still pouring out of our pussy despite it being late into the new days’s afternoon. Some tablets and water is by the bed for us to drink, which we happily do. A note from Ash is there saying he’ll be back later since he’s out working on the farm and that we should take it easy. We spend the rest of the day till he comes back bein a blushin mess rememberin last nights events. The confession, the fuckin, holy shit the fuckin…

Ash comes home and it’s a bit awkward at first. But eventually we’re both able to be mature adults and talk about the past nights events. Ash also confesses he’s been in love since he first saw us, and that he’s happy that we like him and did what we did last night. We panicking inside though cause while we still have pretty much fallen for him, we still don’t think he’s worth trying to have a relationship with being so far from the city and all. What’s a girl to do? So we try to let him down easy and explain that we just don’t think the relationship could work in the end with our different life styles and all. We still really like him, but it wouldn’t be fair to pursue something that’d probably end in heartbreak…

He understands and tells us he figured he couldn’t hold a city girl like us down. It’s so late now that he wants us to spend the night again since it’s a bit away from our home with gran. He says we can still sleep in his bed as there are other rooms in his available, cause he got a large large residence since he got a gigantic farm. He gets us fixed up with dinner and all our needs and tells us he’ll take us back to gran in the morn…

Mornin comes and we go back to gran’s. Unfortunately…she’s not doing well and the doc is immediately called over. She passes away the next mornin. We are heartbroken n a sobbin mess. We knew she was in bad condition hence why we came out to the countryside to take care of her for a bit, but we didn’t think she was that bad and would be gone so soon. Luckily…we got our loving cowboy by our side to console us. And once again our trip is prolonged even further. It takes about 2 weeks to hold the funeral for gran, with some friends and acquaintances of hers comin out of town. Then another 2 weeks to finish cleaning out the house to put it up for sale as we don’t have the money to keep it even though we inherited it. And wouldn’t you know…the stress and constant work finally caught up to us and made us ill for a solid week. Ash once again took care of us and told us just to relax. Relax and stay for as long as we need to as we were staying with Ash for the time bein…

The house finally sells when we finally get better and we take the next week to tie up any loose ends. Including those with Ash…And as we prepare to find him…we have the urge to throw up? Thinkin we’re just sick as we empty our stomach into the toilet from all the horrible stressful events that’s been happenin. But we never throw up even when we sick…so why now? And so a terrible thought quickly flashes in our head. Pregnancy? No. It’s not uncommon to miss periods especially when a person is super stressed or has gone through trauma. And besides we got a birth control that has a 99% pregnancy free rate. But for some illogical reason, we still feel so shitty and decide to go to the local pharmacy to pick up a pregnancy test…

In the bathroom at the pharmacy, we take the test and sure enough it’s positive. We pregnant. And we are shaking in confusion and fear. This wasn’t suppose to happen. How did this happen? We sobbin drivin home Ash’s place panicking about tellin him. He’s already there at the door consoling us when he sees us in tears. And through incoherent cries and sentence structures we muffle out the news to him. He’s “shocked” and tells us that he’s not upset or anything and is actually happy to hear he’s going to be a father. We still a mess tryin to process everythin and just let Ash hold us in a large sofa and whisper sweet nothings into our ear…

It’s very late at night now after we’ve woken up from our trauma induced nap layin in Ash’s bed in more comfortable clothes he easily changed us into. Now that we done cryin for the most part, logic finally takes over and we know we ain’t ready to be a mama. Especially giving birth to a baby to a man we practically just met a lil over 2 months ago. We dead set on gettin an abortion n leavin this hick town for good n never coming back. Town given us way too much PTSD understandably…

Ash comes back home and we do our best to front a brave face n explain our decision to him. We ain’t keepin the baby. We’re never coming back. We sorry to break his heart like this but we thankful for everything he’s done for us. He’s visibly upset but understands our decision. The rest of the night passes with an uncomfortable atmosphere and we don’t get a lick of sleep…

Dawn comes and we get an early call that we’re being evicted from our apartment!? The price has gone up exponentially the past month and we failed to make the payment and certainly don’t have any rainy day funds to cover it. We’re just learning about this now, no new notification about the price change a month ago, so what the fuck is going on!? The only “good” highlight is that our stuff is still there to be collected and hasn’t been trashed n dumped. What makes the morn even worse is just a while later we get another call that we’ve been fired from our job cause we’ve been deemed inadequate for the job since we’ve taken too much PTO even though we saved up so much annual leave and our family member fuckin died! Corporate havin empathy, challenge impossible!

So now we a sight to behold. A fugly hysterical sobbin mess. We homeless, jobless, and prego. The holy damned trinity of what every woman strives to be at the same time. Ash obviously comes into the room as he can’t ignore our sobbin party now as it’s so fuckin loud it rattles the entire house. We sound like a banshee puttin on the opera show of the century. Takes a long time to finally have the brain cells to reiterate the events to Ash. And lucky us he the finest beau in the land and does nothing but console us. Is our giant fuckin teddy bear, tissue, life coach, etc. He obviously tells us that his home is our home for as long as we need it. And we finally just take him up on that…

Next few days just go by mindlessly for us. We don’t know what to do. We don’t know what we can do. We’re such a wreck mentally we don’t know where to begin on reconstruction. Ash takes care of us though. Like he always has. He even offers to pick up our stuff from the city and at this point we just let ‘em. Too tired to be bothered with all the bullshit life has thrown at us we just wanna be a cow and graze all day with no worries. And Ash…beautiful Ash easily convinced us to take time off before job huntin again. He doesn’t mind bein the sole provider for us. He got plenty of money and resources for us. I don’t have to worry my pretty little head. And I don’t ever have to think of repayin him back…

Some more time passes and now that we’re out of pity party comatose I can focus on gettin back on my feet. Startin with dealin with the unwanted pregnancy. So Ash takes us to town to see the doc, cowboy hat still always on our head and all. And this is when the doc does the usual rural town schtick on us. Doc shows us that the embryo has become a fetus on the ultrasound, talks to us about the beauty of life, birth, motherhood, sends us home with photos of our fetus and an immense sense of terror in our minds…

We’re well aware of pro-life propaganda cause we’ve seen it in the streets protests back in the city. But now that we’re the ones dealin with it first hand it’s a completely different feelin. What makes it worse is that we’ve undeniably fallen for the “baby’s” father, Ash. He’s been nothing but loving to us thick and thin. Expecting nothing in return. Supportin us in all our decisions. We never found a man who came even close to Ash in performance in bed, and most certainly never found a man who was as great a friend or partner either. So would it really be all that bad to have his child? We know that he’d make a great father. He’s been great to us and we aren’t even officially his girlfriend…

Goin around town to eat something after the doc visit was an experience…Locals asking Ash when the wedding will be as life in the hicks tends to move fast. Unsurprisingly we’re seen as a couple as we’ve been living with each other, always out with each other, and doin other local courtship laws I don’t know about (like the fucking cowboy hat from day 1). And durin that ride home we make some tough decisions in the head…

When we get home and settled for the night, we tell Ash if he serious about bein happy about wantin the baby from when he first found out. There not a hint of dishonesty on his face when he pours out all his emotions on us. He wants us. All of us and what bears fruition to our love. Been wantin us since he first saw us and that’s never changed. We happy cryin and show him the photos of the fetus and tell him we’re keepin the baby then since he also wants us. Ash knows our courtship was extremely short but makes sure to let us know we’ll never regret it and he’ll make us the happiest wife in the whole world. And so he proposes right there…

And we spend all night fuckin. Chasin ecstasy highs. Ridin each other like there’s no tomorrow. We’re basically rabid feral animals at this point. And we made the sims romance marriage speedrun world record look like a fuckin joke. Going from friends to significant others to engagees in a minute…

Next day we just giggling to the local courthouse to file for the legal marriage work. We can have a fancy formal weddin later, but for now with a baby comin along and life showin how fast it changes we think it best to just ensure we’re taken care of in the eyes of the law. We’ve let our friends know of the situation after basically bein MIA for the past month. Givin them all crazy twighlight zone whiplash and glazed and confused congratulations to my new life. And with Ash’s silver tongue, he’s once again convinced us to not find a job for the time bein. Focus on ourselves. Our health. The baby. He’s got everything else covered. He can provide for us just as he always can and will…

And so the rest of the months fly by. We becomin the most domestic partner ever since we don’t have any other job. And we found out we not having 1 baby but 2. Twins! So we’re not taking a formal out of house job and bein a stay at home mom n wife instead since we’ll have a lot on our plate now. Ash is even more thrilled with this. And can’t wait for the rest of our lives to be filled with marital bliss. And many more kids as he plans to give us at least another 5…

Ash will also take to his grave what he did to keep us here. The IUD removal and head injury weren’t the only things he did. He also got the doc to give him ovulation fertility drugs. So all those times we were thinking we were takin pain killers or meds to make sure the stitch wounds wouldn’t get infected were really something to help boost Ash’s chance to “nail” us down. And boy did they work…And for poor gran? The apartment eviction? The firing from the job? Anything else? Did Ash really do anything else to manipulate things to his favor? Is he just that intelligent? He is loved by everyone, has great connections and charisma. Or is he just god’s favorite and the universe loves him unconditionally? I’ll let you decide the extent of his “yan” side…

Either way. That’s our HEA for us and Ash if we were to be a city girl who was hesitant to be with Ash in a AU. Thanks for readin. And feel free to use this and the previous smutty Delmont brother ideas I submitted in your works if you want. I don’t mind

Love 🗡️Psycho🗡️ Anon

DHEJDHDJDJDHDH HELLO??? PERFECTION??? ASH IS PROBABLY MY SCARIEST OC AND YOU NAILED THE CHARACTERZATION BABES DJDNDNDJ MY LORD??? HELLO??? HES SO SCARY AND HOT FUCK THE WAY THIS SHOT ME WITH A BOLT OF INSPIRATION OMDNDMD I NEED TO WRITE ABOUT THIS SPOOKY MF NEOW

#tw pregnancy #tw yandere

[lily-orchard]

So, is Astarion's character just another victim of Larion's poor writing and the collective trope obsession?

Well yes, Larian's poor writing. But fantasy has just gone this route in general, so it's a cumulative effect.

The thing about Baldur's Gate 2 is that it was grounded. You start the game in a madman's dungeon and the first real quest after you get out is probably defeating trolls in a keep. You don't start invading the fortresses of immortal giant demigods until Throne of Bhaal, because the whole trilogy follows a template of Low Level to High Level adventures.

Modern fantasy, especially video games, will OPEN with a big climactic battle for your life at the command centre of the demon hordes. Modern fantasy audiences are addicted to high stakes, and so writers give them high stakes right from the word go.

Truth is, even if Larian wasn't shit at writing characters, there just wouldn't be time to really do anything with his character because the story doesn't have the breathing room to do that. It's too busy rushing you into the next set piece.

Even all the companions are equally big in scope.

Astarion isn't just a vampire, he was the personal sex slave of the Vampire King.

Gale isn't just a mage, he's the Mage Goddess' side piece with an Iron Man core in his chest.

Shadowheart isn't just a priestess of Shar, she's the secret captive Rapunzel baby of Shar's top priestess who is also a returning and bastardized character from the previous game.

Karlach isn't just a barbarian, she's the former slave of some demon in Avernus with a special, hyper-elaborate slave collar/custom watercooling setup built into her fucking torso.

Dark Urge isn't just a Bhaalspawn. They're a special, super-mega Bhaalspawn who will murder someone while they sleep and kick squirrels over the horizon and can still turn into the Slayer like Gorion's Ward and Imoen, but without any of the downsides because they're just so cool you guys.

And then you have Tav... who is also there. Evidently Tav was the one character who didn't get an AO3 dreg as a writer, despite the fact that they were the one character who needed one.

Larian's inability to just not write the most painfully elaborate backstories for characters who, personality wise, are woefully underwhelming just isn't helped by Fantasy, and D&D in particular, suffering a genre-wide flanderization.

I will repeat: The most memorable and lovable character in the original games had very little dialogue, no quests of her own, and whose only motivation for being on this adventure was because you were her friend and she likes you. Just like how the best character in Lord of the Rings is Samwise Gamgee.

You don't need to do a lot to make a character that leaves an impact on people. And conversely, you can do a lot with a character and have them fail to leave an impact on anyone but thirsty simps.

At the end of the day, it doesn't matter how much trauma you pack into Astarion's backstory, he is still Andy Dick with the voice of Stewie Griffin.

[gardens-light]

Keep Me Warm

Re-watching the original two Hellboy movies, awakening my love for the wise cracking, lovable badass.

Content- 'There's only one bed' cliché'. Just fluff.

The harsh mountain wind swept through you with an icy chill. Frost begun to build up in your eyelashes and hair, the fur-lined hood of your thick winter coat, slowly allowed the snow to sink into the fabric. Cloud of mist escaped you with each breath. The aching in your legs couldn't bare the weight of your body any longer, causing you to collapse to your knees. Knelling against the deep snow, feeling every ache in your tired body.

The mission begun to drag on for too long, the creature's tracks which you and Hellboy were following, slowly disappeared. Being swept away by the blizzard that begun to brew over the Alaskan mountain range. The trail thinning and becoming a dead end.

"Agent Hellboy! We need to turn around!".

"We're close to the bastard! I can feel it!."

You groaned in pain, even talking begun to get painful. Each word feeling like sharp needles sliding around in your already swore throat. "The trail is fading! We need to turn back!"

The demon of red looked over his shoulder, seeing you slumped against the snow. Opening his mouth to say a snarky remark, but his course face softened into a gentle expression. As he saw you hugging yourself tightly, attempting to keep the little body heat you had left. Making his way back to you, Hellboy lowered to your level gazing into your eyes through the ski goggles on your face.

"There's a town over the next peak. We'll rest there" his voice spoke over the cold winds. But you shook your head, "Manning left me in charge! Therefore I say, we head back and return to base!."

Hellboy grinded his teeth. "Kid! You're in no position to boss me around! Returning to base is another days travel, you wont last that long. A town beyond the next peak is closer, and if you stop arguing. You'll have better luck surviving the night."

You looked up at him through tired eyes, watering as the wind chilled your already frozen cheeks. Before you could give another command, Hellboy swiftly picked you up and placed you over his broad shoulder. His left arm of stone gently resting on your lower back, keeping you from falling.

Hellboy trod through the heavy snow towards the closet town, as the blizzard begun to grow stronger. Icy winds blew harder, causing the rocky mountains to whistle and sing. Heavy snow building around his ankles, even wearing down the red demon himself. Climbing over the cores terrain of the peak and making his way towards the little lights which glowed from nearby houses.

"I told you to turn back!" Having heard the sentence come from you one time too many, Hellboy's right hand slapped across your rare end. Feeling the sting across your cheeks from the force which showed no mercy, silenced you after you squeaked out a moan.

Coming to the edge of town, Hellboy lowered you gently back onto your feet. "To not 'cause a scene', this is as far as I can go. There should be an inn or something not too far from here. I'll be good and hide in the shadows, just open a window once you got a room." You remained silent, only giving the demonic agent a filthy stare before making your way through the quiet town.

Wondering a few streets in, you came across a tall lodge. The candle lit lantern outside the door barely coped with the blizzard winds. Pushing your weight against the wooden double doors, causing you to stumble into the quiet lobby. An small elderly elf looked up from her oval reading glasses as you closed the doors.

"Oh... good evening, dear" her sweet voice spoke in a surprised tone. "We don't get many human's wondering around here, can I help you with something?".

You silently nodded as you shook off the snow and ice, which clung onto your boots and coat. The elderly elf carefully flipped through a thick, leather bound book whose pages have seen better days. "It's just for the night, ma'am." She nodded, acknowledging your voice.

"I have one room left. It's small but comfortable" "two beds?" the elf slid her reading glasses down her nose a little, raising an eyebrow as she peered over the thin frame. "No my dear, just a double. But since there's only one of you. I believe it be quite satisfactory." You weakly smiled and accepted the rusty, old fashioned key. The elf gave you one last stare before saying, "up the stairs and to the left, dear. Have a good night."

Making your way to the room, closing and locking the wooden door behind you. The room was indeed small, the old fashioned double bed and matching bedside tables almost took up the whole space. Only leaving enough room for a medium size armchair in a corner near the window and a gap to shuffle towards a door, leading to a private bathroom.

Squeezing past the furniture as you made your way towards the window. Your fingers which felt like they were covered in frostbite struggled against the metal lash, opening the window with a hard yank. Snow and ice begun to flow into the room, waving a hand out the window, alerting the red demon to your whereabouts. It wasn't long till Hellboy appeared in front of you and squeezed his buff and tall figure through the frame. It was a very tight fit, but Hellboy pushed himself through and closed the window. Shaking off the ice and snow off his leather trench coat.

He looked around the small room, watching you light the lanterns upon the bedside tables with a single match. Pulling out a wooden match and lighting a cigar, as he held it close to his mouth, "it's small but guess it's ok" a heavy sigh left you as you kicked off your boots. "Look, I'm not exactly thrilled with this situation either. But we need to make do for tonight."

As you straightened your posture and removed your coat, from the corner of your eye. Watching Hellboy remove his trench coat and hung it over the back of the arm chair, before slouching in it. You hung the coat by the hood at the end of the bed. Climbing onto the mattress and pulling the covers over yourself, Hellboy silently watched as you settled into the blankets and pillows. Content that you'll soon fall asleep, he gently rested his head against the back of the chair. Eyes slowly closing as he too drifted into a nap.

Feeling the crick in his neck, Hellboy rolled his shoulders and stretched his arms. Yellow eyes fluttered open as he leaned forward, a low groan leaving his mouth as he slowly woke up. The cigar no longer remained resting between his lips, instead the last small remain rolled off his lap and onto the floor. Hellboy brushed off the small bits of ash, before looking up at you. His gentle gaze studied your figure which curled tightly in the fetal position, shivering under the duvet.

You rolled onto your side, causing you to be within Hellboy's arms reach. The arm chair creaked as he carefully leaned forward, placing a gentle hand onto your shoulder. "Hey, Kid?" his husky voice whispered in a gentle tone, as he rubbed your shoulder and upper arm. His touch caused you to stir, slowly opening your eyes and seeing his concerned expression through a sleepy gaze.

"What?" you gumbled.

"Are you alright, Y/N? You're shivering"

As you became more aware of your surroundings, you heard the concern tone within Hellboy's voice. Him dropping the nickname and calling you by your name.

Slowly and carefully, not to scare or startle you. Hellboy reached under the duvet, blindly searching for your hands. Your icy touch came to him as surprise.

"Y/N, how long have you been like this?"

"I-I don't know... an hour perhaps. D-Don't worry... just need a minute."

"Of course I worry, Y/N. Plus I can't just leave you like this."

His arm retreated from underneath the duvet, as he grabbed the bottom of his black shirt, and effortlessly took it off in one smooth motion. Gently chucking it by your head, while he cupped both hands close to his mouth and blew onto them. Attempting you make his skin warm to touch.

"Wear my shirt. It be better than the cold clothes you're in."

"Th-This goes against Code 54, p-paragraph-"

"Y/N, I respect your space and privacy. But that will go out the window within seconds, if you don't co-operate. Manning may left you 'in charge' of this mission, but I couldn't care less of his authority, or his rules. So, wear the fucking shirt and come closer to me."

You knew you couldn't argue with him. Hearing the firm truth within his tone, made you silently obey his command. Removing your clothes from underneath the duvet, attempting to discreetly push them off the bed. Pulling his shirt over you, it loosely hung off your body, like an oversized dress which had no shape. But it indeed did keep you warm, his body heat raiding like a brand new heater.

You cleared your throat to break the silence briefly, Hellboy acknowledged, assuming it was a sign he could look back in your direction. "Good, now can I join you under the duvet? You can hug me. I'm warm and it do you body temperature some good." Your head slowly nodded, remaining speechless as he climbed onto the mattress.

Couldn't help but allow your gaze to wonder across his exposed torso. Faint circles and swirls shaped his biceps and chest, while scars from previous missions marked his victories. You felt the mattress dip due to his weight, the springs probably breaking and creaking, as he shuffled around in attempt to get comfy.

Resting his back against the headboard of the bed, Hellboy held out his right arm, an invite to come close into him. You cuddled into him, placing your head under the crook of his shoulder, resting completely against him. As he pulled the duvet over the both of you, and tucked you in a little more.

He warmly smiled as you sighed happily, his warmth putting your body a rest finally. Allowing you to fully lean into his embrace, "It's alright, Kid. Your Big Red has got you."

Tag List

@veevoilet

#hellboy x reader #hellboy #hellboy 2019 #fanfic #gardens light

[janebonbon]

Active Alter Master List

Dolly Doe (She/They) 🧁

Current Main Active Alter Non-Human alter (Sheep.... puppet... thing) based off of the setting of WH. She is not an OC but we understand the misinterpretation. Has a strong liking for antiques and music. Quieter, is more nervous. Working on Polish language skills. Sucker for poetry. Hobbyist seamstress and designer. Tag for more art of Dolly | #Dolly Doe

Ivy Bloom (She/They) 🫒

Non-human alter that is also based on the setting of WH. They are not an OC but we understand the misinterpretation. Connected to Dolly, but separate from her. More distant and sarcastic, but not mean-spirited. Just rougher around the edges. Affectionately called Lillith sometimes. Analytical, enjoys character and story analyses. Tag for more art of Ivy | #Ivy Bloom

Barnaby (Also called Misiu or Teddy) (He/They)

A fictive alter from Welcome Home. More softspoken than you'd expect him to be. Still enjoys jokes, though he isn't as adjusted to making them, but he tries. A "gentle giant" or "teddy bear" sort of guy, hence his nickname.

Mari or Marigold (She/They/He) 🧡

Alter's original source is from Sam & Max. More separated from their source. Chaotic spitfire, a lovable scamp. Has an aspiration for gardening. Tag for more art of Mari | #Marigold

Nova (He/They) 🎱

Alter's original source is Sam & Max. More reserved sort of guy. Tends to stay in the back and keep things in the system in order. Unhinged chaotic neutral bastard or the most dignified man you'll ever meet. No in-between. Tag for more art of Nova | #Nova

[splatbandcanons]

High Tide Era headcanons:

Nishida:

Okay,so I headcanon him as being originally from 'Sea Atoll' (or like the Splatoon equivalent of Seattle) and grew up close to the grunge music scene

Just like the absolute sweetest guy, like ye,this is the guitarist to bring home to meet your parents

He is self taught and worked three part time jobs to buy his first guitar

Parents love him, kids love him, girl urchins with not a lot of dating experience love him...he's just a lovable little bastard man

Self deprecating humor is his coping mechanism

Gets stressed out way too easily

Out of the three of them,he is by far the one who cries the most (except for Taka when he gets broken up with)

Only drinks iced coffee but Kuze is slowly selling him on herbal tea

Kuze:

funky fresh asexual weed uncle

Went to fashion design classes and freelance designs costumes for other bands

Has a baritone singing voice

Opera enjoyer

Herbal tea aficionado

he high key worries about his band brothers and checks up on them often

He can cook really well and often cooks extra to give to Taka and Nishida because he knows that without his intervention those two would continue to forget mealtimes

Doesn't drink,but enjoys the ambience of bars

Played competitive chess in highschool

Taka:

Once let his intrusive thoughts win and spontaneously pierced his own ears

He won't admit it,but he has a major sweet tooth

never grew out of the child prodigy mind set, and you can tell, he's kind of a dick

Took ballet classes when he was younger

Smells like either axe body spray or Bulgari green

This boy has so many student loans

One look and you know for a fact this boy owned a fedora back in the day

The Bi panic is strong with this one

He's a major flirt and hopeless romantic

Bad at boyfriending

#splatbands #splatbandcanons #high tide era #Kuze Splatoon #Nishida Splatoon #Taka Splatoon

[seikyoko]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Thanks....

Choosing a top 10 was so painful you should have asked for my top 20 or something

PART 1 - PART 2 - PART 3

Himemiya Anthy (Revolutionary Girl Utena)

I love Anthy, she's weird, she does stuff like giggling to herself in public while watching those slide-paper animation things. She keeps snails in her pencil case, a literal mongoose in her desk drawer and a giant octopus balloon in her closet. She's only capable of making snacks, she does stuff like adressing people via adressing Chu-Chu

She's bitter, unpredictable, venomous, petty, passive-agressive, cynical. She was a kind little girl who sacrified herself for her older brother, yet there's never the question of "who is the real Anthy" because whether it's the buried loving, kind, caring side, or the anger and resentment, bitterness and disillusionment she now feels, those are all relevant parts of the whole

She wants to believe in Utena and see herself in her and Nanami. She's downright disdainful of their naivete and innocence and she clearly take out her self-hatred and disillusionment of her prince on them.

And god, despite being the literal target of all the world's hatred and being eternally empaled by million of swords, with the only person who "care" about her (or so he says) is some gross abusive bastard who only think of her as an object to use and scapegoat as a convenient way of avoiding the world's hatred originally directed at him and a tool to try to reach his fantasies of his past glory, and no signs od anyong being close to able and willing of getting her out of that situation.

Despite how she's probably had to give up to despair on some level if not totally, because having hope in such circumstances just make it hurt all the more and it lasted for decades/centuries

Despite how she stopped caring about what happened anymore and became utterly numb to her own suffering (best displayed in ep 39, with how blank/expressionless/resigned she is when stabbed by all those swords)

She

When Utena reached out to her in that coffin, she still found the strength within herself to try again, to hope again, and to reach back despite how terrifying it all was.

Just, how courageous that was, to hope again and reach for Utena's hand despite having fallen into despair long ago, she's so strong.

Also in the ending. I loved the ending, how she just casually drop a retirement letter and casually leave the school grounds. You'd have thoughts that there would be a literal fight against him or her tearfully/angrily confronting him, yet. He's irrelevant, he's just some pathetic old man still raving about fairytales and dellusions of his grandeur, yet he's irrelevant. He doesn't matter enough to have a place in Anthy's closure or life decisions, she just get up one day, decide he doesn't matter, and leave him in her dust. God do I love that finale for many many reasons

Historia Reiss (Attack on Titan)

(In here I pretend that pretty much anything after Uprising/the battle of Shiganshina doesn't exist because I don't respect those part)

I love her, she's kind, compassionate, courageous, she's angry, stubborn, self-serving and selfish. She doesn't do things by halves, and by that I mean the moment she decided to fulfill her promise to Ymir and tell her her name she went running into a swarm of titans and told one to wait before eating her because she didn't do that yet. She glares at Eren and decide to kill him at one of his most depressed states when it's convenient for her, as a way to get her sister back and try to get her father's affection. She's the kind, caring girl who is the ally of all those who aren't needed

SHE'S AN UTTER MESS

ghostmartyr has amazing meta about her and this post summarize well what is so lovable about Historia.

Uzune Hitori (Hatoful Boyfriend)

Yes I chose that particular moment as a defining picture. This was a hard battle between him and Nageki.

There's so many reasons I love him, he shot Shuu, he's an ambush predator, he should have commited more murders, he's an incredibly caring and loving person. His bond with Nageki and the rest of his family is one I'm obsessed by. He tries to strangle Yuuya and says "oopsie you noticed" when caught in the act. He serves tea and snacks to the mad scientist who took him hostage and chat with him to trash-talk his coworker. He likes salmiakki. He's unstable, he tries to gut a teenager to retrieve his dead brother's remains from him, he wears a magical girl outfit and use his magical girl powers to repel a mad scientist alongside his students. I like how in the epilogue after deciding to make peace, he declares that he doesn’t intend to take revenge on Shuu anymore, then tack on a “probably” while Sakuya is appalled.

Pink and Blue (Charlie The Unicorn)

They're having such fun being their chaotic selves, each of their appearances is extremely entertaining. They are such little shits, they're clearly having the time of their lives, good for them.

Brunhilde (Shuumatsu no Valkyrie)

She strolled into the god's meetings and made them agree themselves to the rebellion she was planning on them. She say hella vulgar words while using extremely polite speech. When Zeus makes his "I caught on to your bullshit" speech in that meeting and says she's the representative of the human side and implying she'd go down with them she smoothly agree by saying she's gonna choose representants from all 7 million years of manking including the dead ones. She looks at Zeus dead in the eye when he figure out the weapons are valkyries and catch on to her rebellion. She makes the most ridiculous of expressions sometimes, she likes hella untasty salmiakki pies. She has nerves of steel, she's shameless, she has excellent taste in the candidates she choose. and I'm so looking forward to learning more about her.

Sumire (Toilet Bound Hanako-kun)

I don't really know how to describe my feelings about Sumire, she's just so damn fascinating ? Compelling ? I have a thing for the human sacrifice/scapegoat/were-always-going-to-die characters. I think the actual chapters she appears in/every second of her screentime would sum up why I love her better than paragraphs of text ever could so I'm just gonna make an aimless ramble about my Sumire thoughts

Sumire know from day one that she's gonna be an human sacrifice. Nobody give a damn about her, everyone feels so damn entitled about her death/sacrifice they actively blame her/take out their anger on her that she's still breathing despite it being before her planned death date. They're going to actively celebrate and take joy in her death while choosing her next replacement and she's perfectly aware of that. The only people she interact with are No 06 who is her jailer to protect her till her planned slaughter date, like how one keep cattle, and the villagers bullying her. She's seething in rage and bottle it all up to make an attempt of pretending to look happy because what can she do ? It was game over from day one for her, she can throw a tanthrum all she likes, she could make some pointless attempt at rebellion and get her legs cut off and eyes blinded for all her troubles, and for what ? It won't change a thing and it won't move anyone a bit, she has already lost from the day she was born.

So she keeps those animals to heal because of the degree of control it makes her feel, she makes up that lovey-dovey de-facto husband dynamic with n 06 to pass time/on the off-chance he might give a damn about her dying. The "I hope they go to hell" moment. Her interactions with "Gon", Nene, n06. I'm just.. so obsessed with her.

Roxanna Agriche (The way to protect the female lead's older brother)

This is gonna feels like a total cop-out but this post sums it up better than I ever could

Todo Aoi (Jujutsu Kaisen)

I love him, he's smart yet an incredible dumbass. He goes around asking people for their type and Itadori having a similar taste in women awakened in him memories where they're long lost buddies/brothers and this prompts him to go against his own team. He has incredible wisdom, when in high stress situations like battling special grade curses he peppers his observations/epiphanies by making daydreams where his idol crush deduct this. Maki specifically aims for his face in baseball and everyone (his own team included) cheers to that. He's a dumbass, he's incredibly reliable, I love him. I love his friendship/bro-ship with Yuuji, I just love him.

Tsurumi Tokushirou (Golden Kamuy)

He likes to spin on a sob story about how the 7th division was wronged because of Hanazawa's suicide. He actually was the one behind Hanazawa's death well aware of the consequences it could actually causes, he's manipulative, ruthless, perceptive and cunning as hell . He's representated in a chapter cover as the devil, he likes to trick and "seduce" people to bring them on his side. He wears a shirt made of human skin on him, he's so damn cunning. That moment where he makes Edogai fall for him by making him shoot the corpse of his mother, that fashion defilee of Edogai's creations where Tsurumi is clapping and cheering him on. The sheer loyalty he inspire in his men, his backstory episode where you see the rare moment of Tsurumi's unfiltered humanity, and how numb/devastated he is by his wife and child's death, and his reaction make it clear how much of a performance most of his current-day behavior usually is ? God. I also like how he does batshit stuff like suddenly biting off a finger to play up his unhinged image and to disturb people around him. I love how he cut off Nikaidou’s ear, then adress him by saying something into the severed ear. I love that I can’t tell when he is genuine and when isn’t

Vincent Nightray (Pandora Hearts)

I like the way he uses his "brother complex" excuse that everyone in-universe unironically believe in in all contexts as an excuse when he doesn't want to honestly answer a question/explain why he did something. I love all the complicated feelings he has about being a child of ill omen and the anger he feels about that. I love his desperate desire to prove to himself that he was not a blight into the world/an aberration causing the tragedy of sablier and doing the opposite of what he set out to do and how his will to live crumble after that, and how he can't look at himself in the mirror because of the crushing guilt and self-hatred he feels on the matter. So much, that when Elliot care about him and he care about Elliot in return, he can't really proccess why he's so enraged about his death and why he cared so much without falling into the usual excuses he generally say outloud ("oh yeah that makes Gil happy"), that basically being confirmed when they travel to the past when Gil says he loves him, and Vincent not being thrilled one bit because his attachment and devotion to Gil are more atonement for the trouble his existence caused Gil as children and self-hatred, which is why, even as Gil tell him he loves him and wants him alive, Vincent is unmoved as long as the tragedy of Sablier is playing around them. And why Ada is the one to reach him.

I love that he commit violent parricide on-screen. I love how his crush on Break manifest on doing stuff like poisoning his food and coming up with ways to enrage Break/make him hate him because people he care about being disgusted with his existence is a dynamic he's comfortable with. I love how after he's forgiven and get closure, he gather himself up and make actual successful efforts to salvage the utter mess that is his self after decades of self-hatred and self-flagelling and figure out what he wants to do/what he wants his identity to be.

#sei.txt #Himemiya Anthy #Historia Reiss #Uzune Hitori #Blue and Pink #Brunhilde snv #Sumire #Todo Aoi #Roxanna Agriche #Tsurumi Tokushirou #Vincent Nightray #asks #Elaine2895

[sauerland-2001]

It’s been a while since my last post about shows and movies I’ve watched (wish I could link the post but tumblr hates me), and since then there have been quite a few more:

Finished:

Slow Horses season 2: enjoyed it; more action-packed and faster paced than season 1 but it’s also more of the Gary Oldman Show than before; hated a certain character‘s death :(

White Lotus season 2: Yep, after not even finishing a single episode of season 1, I just skipped to the second season and really liked it. Not as sensational as social media made it seem but still a nice portrayal of messed up people caught in their own misery 🥰

L‘Opera season 1: I don’t know if this is the show’s original title, watched it via the streaming site of a German broadcaster. Brilliant show about ballet at the Paris Opera; an aging principal dancer gets kicked out of her contract and the season covers how she fights to get back in. It also deals with racism in the ballet world through the eyes of a young black dancer who tries to get into the company.

Thai Cave Rescue: I didn’t watch the Amazon movie about the same event because it seems to be focused on the white rescuers instead of the Thai boys trapped in the cave? Liked it but yeah, this could have been a movie instead of a limited series 👀

The Bastard Son & and the Devil Himself: Netflix did its damn best not to promote this show and of course, it’s been cancelled since. Quite a lot of gore for my taste but it was still amazing. Would definitely recommend, despite there only being one season :(

1899: also cancelled, thanks for nothing, netflix 🙄 While I enjoyed the show, I do think that the ship setting is what kept this from being as great as Dark. Should have continued though of course since season 1 was basically entirely a set up for future seasons.

Young Royals season 2: have already posted about this one of course. I hope season 3 returns focus to the show’s main couple. It’s a shame that the two characters of color (of the main cast) were reduced to supporting characters this time.

(Christmas) Movies:

Scrooge: musical version of the old story; really good songs; watched it with my youngest students who loved it but thought there were too many songs 😁

Your Christmas or Mine: omg what a disappointment. I excepted a charming comedy with weird but lovable British characters. All I got was boredom and bad acting.

Tried but gave up:

Wednesday: no comment (for my own safety)

Treason: started watching this for my man Charlie Cox, but wow this is bad. It tries to be like other British shows about MI6 (5? I don’t know) and fails.

The Crown season 5: extremely boring, uninspired acting, and let’s face it, that family is truly FUBAR and should be ignored 98% of the time, especially now.

Currently watching:

Happy Valley season 3: can’t believe it’s back after 8 years 😭 episode 1 was brilliant, can’t wait for the rest.

Mosquito Coast season 2: just one episode left and I’ve liked this one a lot more than season 1, which was basically hours and hours of Justin Theroux checking himself out. Wise choice to focus on the son‘s trauma after what he had done at the end of season 1, but I’m constantly distracted by how much that young actor looks like Ansel Elgort 😳

Kaleidoscope: episode yellow is the first one for me but I had to stop it halfway through the other day and haven’t continued yet.

Almost Fly: very sweet German series about three boys in 1990 who want to become rappers.

#i swear I do other things too from time to time #tv

[ziracona]

People sometimes act like Danny Johnson is a loveable magnificent bastard but there’s absolutely nothing lovable about him at all.

#he’s a magnificent bastard sure but all he ever did in canon was wear the scream mask stalk & murder scores of innocent people cruelly & do #nasty shit like carve his mask shape into their bodies and then tape the murders for gross vouyeristic assault purposes #report on his own killings including talking to the victims’ families as a reporter & pretending to care to their mourning faces — wear #different cologne depending on how into murdering the victim he was. Sometimes killing whole families. & then skipping town. #there’s.. #that’s not even style. like. oh boy he wears a mask when he kills folks nobody else ever did that! #some of y’all act like he’s got Hisoka personality & flavor or smth but the man literally is not remotely original or fascinating #he is just some white dude from Utah who wears a scream mask while taping himself murdering people torturously he’s literally just a serial #killer. he doesn’t even have a cool name or aesthetic Ghostface only has clout by Scream already made it a Look. in his universe he’s just #some gross boring entitled man with 0 sympathy who jerks off to murdering innocent human being she kills there’s not even interesting #villain style class or interest there. he ain’t a Rogue’s Gallery Batman villain he’s just some fucko #like he’s got good skills & is a higher tier killer in dbd for sure & he’s a good character be having 0 regrets or complexities makes him #easy to hate and simple to hate and sometimes that’s great for a story. but where tf this ‘he’s such a lovable or interesting magnificent #fantastic bastard’ come from some of y’all weak like please. almost even any of the other /dbd/ killers are more interesting. as are /all/ #of the canon Ghostfaces in Scream 1-4 #dead by daylight #I mean again he’s a fine character & good in game #but there’s never been a single lovable thing about that man or even a very interesting one in his life he literally is just a boring white #serial killer man who likes to stalk before sadisticially killing and is so narcissistic he devoted his life to talking about his /own/ #murders. like. all serial killers kinda do. they tend to think they’re hot shit so much they think they can represent themselves in court #it’s so boring it’s /literally/ textbook basic serial killer man rip #I’m just. ... O_O why #I am so both confused and also kinda concerned for y’all like...oof

[pastelpaperplanes]

I am LOVING these Crusade contents!!! AAAAHHHHHH!!! BLESS! Crusade is such a lovable character, I love them (and you ofc). Also, as much I love seeing Crusade with their carrier, I'd love to see them bonding with their sire too. I know you said you're still trying to figure the whole story out (yay drama!) but could you really blame me for wanting to see more sire-and-sparkling moments? Last question, IF OP were to raise them instead, how would the situation change? What if OP was the carrier?

I crave the Sire & Sparkling bonding moments too and we will have more soon!!! Hell knows Optimus missed out on a real good portion of First’s :’) but dw, they’ll have time to more than make up for those moments

ooo and as for if Optimus carried/raised them instead,,oh man

Crusade would have had a much, much harder life should they had been born to Optimus. I’d find it hard to believe that the Senate—who just embraced quite possibly one of the most popular, underdog Magnus’ in their history—would take kindly in knowing that their precious poster boy had been lying, fraternizing with their sworn enemy, and furthermore deciding to keep his dubbed mongrel of a sparkling.

In our original timeline, we know that Megatron keeping Crusade hidden away from any prying eyes of Autobots and Optimus was a decision—a very selfish decision in hindsight for the latter—made entirely out of fear and protectiveness. Because of his position of power, he could immediately provide the protection and freedom to grow that Crusade needed throughout their life. It wasn’t perfect, it wasn’t the most fair or ideal situation, but Crusade was safe.

With this alternate reality though, Optimus would have no choice in keeping Crusade locked away, this decision would be made for him.

The Senate and the council as a whole have an image to maintain. Optimus has inspired a whole new wave of pride for the Autobot Cause, to have this horrible break though that their Magnus was sleeping with the enemy—as well as to have merged with Warmonger himself—there’s no telling what that would do for moral and trust in their duly appointed leaders.

Optimus’ title as Magnus could not be stripped away for these reasons, he still had a job to do, and the Senate made sure that he would fulfill it, bastard sparkling in tow be damned.

Crusade would have lived a life truly confined within the Fortress Maximus if Optimus had been their Carrier—at least until the Senate could send the little one under for some nonnegotiable reformats once their frame upgraded just far enough.

Crusade would never once be permitted to touch a weapon, let alone join any academy or rank.

Crusade would never have any interactions with others save for their medics and Carrier (Not even Team Prime would be permitted to know should Optimus want to ensure Crusade be granted citizenship at their final upgrade)

Crusade would have never been able to explore their warframe coding, let alone acknowledge their con features.

Crusade would have never been seen as an Autobot no matter partial coding, flawlessly executed ‘good behavior’, or bitten-back reactions to disgusting insults.

They would have been raised in a painfully restrained environment, being a far unhappier mecha in this timeline. Optimus being as only one part of a council and a mere figurehead to the ‘Obedient Autobot’ as Magnus would do his best to keep little Crusade in the dark about the turmoil of their existence, but there’s only so many strained smiles you can pull too keep up that heavy of a farce.

but Optimus would have loved that kid to death

#my art #cybertron’s legacy au #transformers #crusade was better off with megs! #again #not ideal on either sides #but better #Optimus prime #yeahhh the council would not be kind #what flying autobots—the TWINS were already risky buisness and even that was heavily monitored and there was selective coding chosen #megatron #but a born protoform of mixed coding with NO say or elected coding to pick and choose from #yeah screw their hesitant progressives w the twins and the power master suit this was a ‘unsanctioned disgrace’ #tfa optimus prime #that’s dangerous to them #crusade #ALSO TY FOR THE COMPLIMENTS AHHH

[middlechildwhoescapedthebasement]

SHIPS THAT ARE 'CANON' IN MY AU INCLUDING EXES (WHY IM USING THEM)

Basically the ships that I use for this AU. If you don't like any of these ships, thats completely fine, but NO ship wars! You respect my ships, I'll respect yours! Now on with the list!

The only actual Canon ship

CageBlade: This is the only Canon ship that I like in the series. I love their dynamic and how they get back together at the end because they realized how much they love each other. Their story's the same as the game in this AU, with some of the Legands movies sprinkled in!

The ships that I use for my AU

FireDance: Ah, my OTP! This ship consists of my oc Varian and our lovable wraith, Hanzo! Funnily enough, Varian was originally going to be with Bi-Han before he died and then ultimately end up with Kotal. But after fully finishing her backstory, I decided that she was better suited for Hanzo. I feel like they balance each other out very well in every aspect. Sigh, they just make me so happy! I also just want Hanzo to be happy since NRS is apparently allergic to that.

LiuLao: OK BEFORE WE GO ANY FURTHER I WANT TO MAKE THIS CLEAR- Liu Kang and Kung Lao are NOT related! Tobias HIMSELF had to step in and make it clear that it was an error on the movie's part! They never have been and never will be blood related! OK, on with the ship: I FRICKIN LOVE THESE TWO! They were my first ever mk ship! I just love their dynamic and how their meant to be foils to each other! I'm so weak for the childhood friends trope. Everything about them is *chefs kiss*. Also in my AU, they don't die stupid deaths and become evil for the sake of shock value. They instead stay alive and raise Jin together so he can be happy, healthy, and ACCEPTED!

Jatana: Man, am I predictable or what? XD I ship these two for a lot of the same reasons I ship LiuLao. They have such amazing chemistry with each other, I love every scene the have together. THE WAY JADE IS SO PROTECTIVE OF KITANA IS JUST SO IMMACULATE! I'm weak for lesbian warriors protecting their lesbian princesses. It's the good food right there. They die but get resurrected and rule Outworld together as Queens.

ArticGem: So this ship is between Kuai Liang and an oc that I haven't introduced yet: Ruby. I came up with this ship because while I do ship SubScorp, I hc both Kuai and Hanzo as bi and I wanted to try shipping Kuai with a woman for once. Ruby was an already made oc (with full backstory and design) that I was gonna have be on her own, but I wanted her to be my guinea pig for my shipping experiment. It wasn't meant to be permanent but here we are. I'll explain their relationship more when I have Ruby's outline done.

StryBal: I absolutely love the idea of a New York City cop dating a Black Dragon member. Know what I love more? Stryker being a backstabbing bitch and being a secret BD member and selling all of the NYPD's secrets. Basically, these two are the bastard power couple that no one expects, and that no one can really trust (except for each other).

Exes!

RatTheif: That's right. In this AU, Erron and Kano dated. The relationship was mostly sexual, with Erron really only being interested because of the special treatment he got. Kano was only interested in the sex and adrenaline rushes. When Erron said he was done, Kano didn't believe him. While he was asleep, Erron took all of his shit and sold it before returning to Outworld. Kanos still pissed about it. I'm literally only using this ship for shits and giggles for the backstory.

Rain X Mileena: They both used each other with the plan of betraying the other. Both had the gall to be shocked when it eventually happened. I like the idea of two people using each other for the same reasons. It makes a fun read for me personally.

SubSmoke: They tried it because they thought that they loved each other romantically. While it was true on Kuai's end, Tomas was AroAce with both romance and sex repulsion. He apologized to Kuai, genuinely feeling horrible for starting something serious like this only to end it abruptly. Kuai held no grudge against him, supporting him fully and not tolerating any hate thrown Tomas' way. I like these two together as friends, I've always had the AroAce hc for Smoke, but I imagine him trying something out before ultimately realizing his Sexuality. And Kuai being nothing but supportive of his BFF! (P.S. I know that AroAce people can still find love/have sex, but I personally hc Smoke as being repulsed by those things for himself! I hope you understand!)

#oc x canon #mk au #what if au #mk oc #liulao #Jatana #cageblade #Strybal #Mk ships #I'm not gonna tag all these characters lol #i'm too tired for this

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Suicide Squad Team A

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS! Seriously, as soon as you click that read more, you’re gonna be smacked with SPOILERS! Don’t say I didn’t give you ample warning this time!)

The world’s in danger yet again, and Amanda Waller is in need of some expendable forces to take on some dirty jobs in the name of preserving peace. Last time she did this, it seems like she hired the wrong people. Nice guy Will Smith Deadshot? Bland, boring Killer Croc? El Diablo, who became attached to a bunch of reprobates after spending a couple hours with them? The only one who was useful in that squad was Katana. She had their backs, could cut all of them in half with one sword stroke just like mowing the lawn, and her sword traps the souls of its victims. Unfortunately, she was decidedly not expendable, so what is a girlboss like Waller to do?

Easy: Assemble a brand new squad of criminals to do the dirty work. Harley and Boomerang are the only ones she brought back, because let’s be real, they’re the only ones we give a damn about. Filling out the rest of the squad are the stoic, craggy crackshot Savant; the handsome, German spear-thrower Javelin; the alien warrior Mongal; the frothing, psychotic animal Weasel; the confident and all-powerful TDK; and Blackguard, who is literally just a guy. Together, this team gets deployed to Corto Maltese to do what no one else can do, and with skills like theirs, they are absolutely unstoppable!

They all fucking die before the opening credits.

Motivation/Goals: Considering the goal of the squad is to shave time off their prison sentences by going on the mission, it’s ostensibly the reason every single one of these goons accepted the job. Savant and Weasel are pretty well established in this regard; we get to focus on Savant for much of the opening, so we can get a sense of him, and Weasel is stated to have murdered no less than 27 children. So, yeah, they need to do this mission.

The rest, though? Who knows! Why are Mongal, Javelin, and TDK in prison? How did they even get an alien like Mongal? What did they do to land in the position they’d need to go on a suicide mission? Why doesn’t this movie have flashy, intrusive cards explaining everything to us in a throwaway gag in a montage?!

Blackguard, at least, has some other motivation. He sold out the entire squad to the military of Corto Maltese, which is why they’re ambushed. Now, there’s actually some ambiguity here: Did he do this of his own volition, and was this a complete surprise, or is it, as it is heavily implied, all part of Waller’s plan and she let this happen as a diversion for the other team to get in unnoticed?

Honestly, though, it doesn’t matter what their goals are. They’re all dead within five minutes of the movie starting, with one exception.

Performance: So, the reason these guys are even worth talking about is because, despite their minuscule screentime, all of their actors manage to cram in enough humor and characterization that they’re all pretty fun and likable. Michael Rooker is as stony and stoic as ever as Savant (until he hilariously isn’t), Flula Borg’s Javelin is really sweet and charming in his interactions with Harley, and Pete Davidson’s Blackguard is just amazingly douchey and pathetic. Special mention goes to Nathan Fillion’s TDK, who has an utterly endearing and unwavering faith in his astoundingly crappy ability to… detach his arms. It’s honestly kind of beautiful. Then there’s Weasel as portrayed by Sean Gunn, who is just a hilarious crackhead of an animal man.

Final Fate: Literally every single one of them die horribly thanks to Blackguard’s betrayal. He’s the first to go, because as soon as he walks out saying “Hey guys, it’s me, the one who contacted you!” he literally has his face blasted clean off. The rest go soon after. Mongal, in one of the most astounding moments of idiocy I’ve ever seen, leaps on a helicopter despite Rick Flag telling her specifically not to. Her weight and strength send it careening out of control, which leads to it shredding Captain Boomerang to bits before exploding, burning her alive as she painfully screams and writhes in agony. TDK gets his arms shot into Swiss cheese, leading to him bleeding out since even detached they still are part of him. Javelin is also shot, but gets a dying moment with Harley where he passes her Checkov’s Javelin. Finally, after witnessing all of this carnage, Savant completely loses his shit and tries to swim away, leading to Waller blowing his head up.

You may be wondering what happened to Weasel. He appears to drown as soon as the Squad deploys, because despite being actually smart in this movie, Waller forgot to make sure everyone on the Squad could swim. Thankfully, this lovable child-murdering crackhead rodent was just sleeping, and wakes up in the first credit scene.

Best Scene: Obviously, it’s their one and only scene. It’s a magnificent slaughter that puts the X-Force scene from Deadpool 2 to shame.

Final Thoughts & Score: I’ve gotta hand it to James Gunn. Even though these losers are only onscreen for a few minutes, they all get to cram a lot of charm and personality into that time, to the point it’s actually kind of sad seeing them all die. It’s a beautiful mix of comedy and tragedy. Since their screentime is so limited, though, I’m mostly going to be grading them on style, performance, and so on rather than on villainy like normal. They are all bad guys, as they don’t really get a chance to redeem themselves like the other Squad, so I’m still counting them as villains, which means they could potentially score above an 8 (which is the highest score I’m willing to give heel-face turn villains, because they end up being better as characters in general than as villains).

I’m also not going to talk about Boomerang (I’ll talk about him when I review the original Squad) or Harley (because she not only lives, but deserves her own solo Psycho Analysis). Now here we go, from best to worst:

TDK

If you thought anyone but TDK would get top marks, you’re sadly mistaken. Seeing Nathan Fillion proudly wield the insanely lame power to detach his arms to lightly tap soldiers on the head and gently grab their guns is a sight I never knew I needed to see until this movie. The fact he just seems so darn proud about this power that he doesn’t even bother to use in any way that would be remotely useful is honestly really endearing. Frankly, the sheer fact they adapted Arms-Fall-Off Boy in any way is enough for me to give him a 10/10.

Weasel

Weasel is just disgustingly delightful. He’s just a horrible, nasty, ugly little bastard… But he’s kind of adorable? He clearly has no idea where he is at any given time and is just so goddamn freaky that I can’t help but love him. The fact that, despite being a character who in the comics is noteworthy only for dying on his first mission with the Squad, he manages to survive the entire movie is pretty impressive. Hopefully he comes back in the future, but either way he gets an 8/10 from me.

Javelin

Honestly, aside from Boomerang, his death stung the most. He’s just so cute and charming, and he doesn’t even get to fling his javelin at anyone! Thankfully, he passes it on to Harley, and boy does she ever get to use it! He’s so cute, I have to give him an 8/10. I just wish we got more of him.

Savant

Savant is just an absolutely hilarious bait-and-switch. We follow him through the prologue, with everything seeming to point to him as our main character and the Squad leader. He’s stoic, he’s cranky, and he has impeccable aim… and then we get to the beach and he just freaks the hell out and starts screaming and crying and running away like a little bitch. Seeing Michael Rooker act like he’s shitting his pants after playing a badass like Yondu is just the sort of hilarious subversiveness that James Gunn loves to do when you let him loose. The fact that he looks like, to paraphrase the TVTropes YMMV page for the movie, a “cyberpunk Tommy Wiseau” is the icing on this 7/10 cake.

Blackguard

I was prepared to hate this guy just based on how lame Pete Davidson’s costume was, and you know what? I do hate him. But I love to hate him. He’s just an utterly pathetic scoundrel and a coward, true to his name. The fact he is the first to die, as just about everyone predicted, and is killed absolutely gruesomely makes any annoyance he could provide moot, and his freeakout over being seated next to Weasel on the plane is actually kind of funny. I was originally going to give him a 6, but you know what? He can have a low 7/10. He’s like the only member of this particular Squad to actually do anything evil, so I gotta give him props for that.

Mongal

Let me make this perfectly clear: I do not blame James Gunn or actress Mayling Ng. I’m not actually mad at either of them for what they chose to do, because it is ultimately hilarious and sad. It suited the narrative of the film, and I’m not actually, genuinely mad.

With all that out of the way, Mongal is one hell of a stupid cunt. It is one thing to cause your own death with your stupidity, it is something else entirely to cause the death of a beloved character with your poorly planned attack. The fact she didn’t take into account how her weight and strength would effect an airborne helicopter makes one wonder if she is really supposed to be based on a character who can take on Superman and live to tell about it.

Let’s compare her to two similar characters to really show how bad she is. Like Blackguard, she is directly responsible for a death on the beach, Blackguard being responsible for everyone by selling them out and leading them into an ambush (and yes, I’m including him as well), and Mongal killing Boomerang with the chopper. The difference is, Blackguard’s betrayal was deliberate, he meant to sell the team out, he was actively doing something evil there, while Mongal killed Boomerang out of sheer idiocy.

Now, let’s compare her to Zeitgeist from the similar bloody massacre that occurred during X-Force’s deployment in Deadpool 2. Like Mongal, he accidentally kills a teammate. The difference is, in the case of Zeitgeist, he only accidentally melted Peter, it was a freak accident, and ultimately it does get undone by the end. Meanwhile, Mongal made a conscious, stupid decision and ended up killing her squadmate with her own idiocy. She sucks, hardcore. I don’t do this lightly, but I’m giving her a 1/10. Villains just don’t get much stupider than her.

I will giver her this, though: the makeup work on her is good. She’s lowkey kinda hot if I’m being honest. But being hot and having good makeup does not a good villain make.

#Psycho Analysis #The Suicide Squad #Savant #Michael Rooker #Javelin #Flula Borg #TDK #Nathan Fillion #Weasel #Sean Gunn #Mongal #Mayling Ng #Blackguard #Pete Davidson

[themosleyreview]

The Mosley Review: The Suicide Squad

There's only 1 of 2 ways this film could've gone. It could've gone the easy route and maybe killed off 2 or 3 characters, tell a decent action story that's blinded by the butter glazed popcorn shaped glasses OR go balls to the wall with the amount of gruesome violence the DC villains are known for, have a balanced story that’s full of comedy, heart and will leave you with a satisfying film that defies the norm. What I love about all the DC films is that they don't pull their punches in delivering grittier and more violent stories that fit the DC Comics brand and gives them a unique signature. The past Suicide Squad film had the framework, but really didn't hit the mark since it was a poor plot that was shackled inside a PG-13 cage. This film was not and we finally get to see villains do what they do best and I loved that each one had a chance to shine before their painful and surpising demise. The action in the film was executed in gloriously violent set pieces. You are not supposed to be rooting for these people, but you do because they are you heroic villains for the time being. I can't tell you how much fun I had watching these characters in a story that reminded me of the original 1978 version of The Inglorious Bastards. The slogan is true though, don't get too attached because a lot of these characters die.

There are a bunch of characters and they’re all great, but I'm only gonna focus on the main cast. Viola Davis returns as Amanda Waller and she is even colder and more sadistic than ever. Viola scratched the surface of the character before, but this time we really get to see Waller become unhinged and I loved it! Joel Kinnaman returns as Rick Flag and I loved him more this time because of his natural leadership presence. Flag gets alot more to do here and he shows that he is more of a hero than villain. Idris Elba delivers an excellent performance as Robert DuBois / Bloodsport and even though his story is pretty much the same as Deadshot's from the past film, there was enough of a difference. His motivation was pure and I loved that he cared about his team. Margot Robbie returns as Harley Quinn and she delivers yet again. I liked that she was more violent and you see her moral code in a dark and yet poignant scene. She kicks ass in the film and it was fun to see her do it. David Dastmalchian is a fantastic actor and he was no different as Abner Krill / Polka-Dot Man. I really loved his arc from being the quiet one to a full on hero by the end of the film. He has some psychological issues that are twisted in origin, but are used to hilarious extents. John Cena steals almost all the scenes as Christopher Smith / Peacemaker. Although he was one of the most violent characters in the film, he has some great chemistry and comedic moments with Bloodsport. This character was tailor made for Cena and he was so much fun to watch. Sylvestor Stallone was great and fun as Nanaue / King Shark. He may be a bloodthirsty shark that rips people apart and eats them whole, but he has a sweet and lovable side to him. I liked Peter Capaldi as the Thinker and his version was a bit more under powered this time and I found it refreshing. He was probably the most grounded amongst all of them.  Now the real heart of the film was brought to life by Daniela Melchior as Cleo Cazo / Ratcatcher 2. She keeps the group humble at times and I loved her brighter side at looking at the world. She was not afraid to show how much she cares for the team and her chemistry between Bloodsport and King Shark was perfect. I really loved her rat companion Sebastian and he gets to shine in many cute and funny scenes.

The bombastic and badass score by John Murphy was outstanding and introduced a fun theme for Task Force X. The soundtrack of the film was excellent as well and plays over some truly beautiful and gloriously gory scenes. The main big bad of the film is a DC Comics fan favorite and it was perfectly brought to real life. Writer and Director has made a magnificent successor to the first film that is completely unhinged and free of all constraints. I truly loved this action comic book epic and this is definitely top tier DCEU and one of the best action films of the year. There is one mid credits scene that you'll either love or hate for its weirdness and I loved it. This is a must see on the big screen but if you can't make it out, it's also currently streaming on HBO Max. Let me know what you thought of the film or my review in the comments below. Thanks for reading!

#the suicide squad #idris elba #joel kinnaman #margot robbie #sylvester stallone #david dastmalchian #john cena #peter capaldi #Alice Braga #viola davis #nathan fillion #james gunn #jai courtney #DC comics #dceu #daniela melchior #sean gunn