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#or laundry/storage room (cold unfinished full of spiders and dust which im ALLERGIC TO
soldier-poet-king
·
1 year
Text
God FORBID I want to take up space OUTSIDE of my 100 sq ft basement bedroom-prison, in this house, where I LIVE
#franposting
#everytime im like oh ok living here isnt the absolute worst
#shit like this happens
#for fucks sake all I wanted was to set up bro 2 small weight bench in the downstairs bathroom
#WHICH IS THE SAME SQUARE FOOTAGE AS MY ACTUAL BEDROOM
#its HUGE and doesnt have yknow a bed desk dresser etc
#and no one uses the downstairs bathroom except me and my dad
#but NOOOO my mother is insanelt controlling and it makes visual clutter and she refuses to treat her actual obsessiveness
#so i was given the option of the garage (cold dark spiders and we dont have an interior entrance qnd also its full of my dads shit)
#or laundry/storage room (cold unfinished full of spiders and dust which im ALLERGIC TO
#and also it doesnt have a door or a lock and i would straight up rather lift with the gym bros
#than in view of my family
#the gym bros are LESS judgemental
#y do u think i do all my physio excercises in the bathroom or bedroom behind a locked door
#i dont want to be PERCEIVED by my family
#god forbid i try to exist outside my room prison
#cant use the downstairs lounge bc allergic to upholstery
#upstairs is loud and no privacy and everytime i sit in view of anyone
#and also theres just no space????? plus my mother is always watching hallmark movies at volume 500
#ITS A VERY SMALL BUNGALOW WITH TOO MANY PPL
#but also i cant afford to move out in the GTA and thats where the jobs are wnd where my job is
#and im not moving in with randos and have no friends in the area needing roomates
#literally fucking kill me
#everydya i miss my shoebox apartment. it was so
#so so small and lonely but it was safe and private and mine and i was allowed to exist without judgement and rules
#im not an exquisitely unwell suciidal teej anymore but i still feel like im losing parts of myself
#theyre dying and im never going to be whole and it just keeps shrinking and shrinking
#and i KNOW im weird and have odd needs for my living situation to keep me mentally sane
#and its selfish and whiny of me to want very specific kind of roomate and not strangers in this economy
#or to just live alone
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