#one piece is not about just being the toughest bastard out there with the highest pain tolerance | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

singingcookie · 6 years

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I'm still getting used to writing for this fandom, so I decided to challenge myself with a 30 days prompt list. And I figured I should pick a character that I know I'll struggle with to help me get a feel for what I'm doing. I'll be adding more tags as necessary, but this is what I got for now.

I’ll go ahead and put it under the cut if anyone wants to just read it on here I guess.

It had been a couple hours now since the Provisional License Exam. Since Class 1-A had returned to the dorms, everyone had taken the time to wind down from the stress that it had put them under. For some it meant hitting up the baths, for others it meant kicking their feet up and watching tv, and for others still it meant talking with their fellow students. It was none of those things for Bakugou Katsuki. No, if anything, he was working harder to tune everyone else out.

His thoughts had been racing, not just from today. It felt like his brain had been in overdrive for the last week or so. He felt like that shitty Deku from how he was constantly overthinking everything—tensing himself so much that he was a coil ready to snap at a moment’s notice. It had already felt like that. But looking over the point deductions had made it all the worse.

It was some kind of cruel joke that everyone else but him and that half-and-half bastard had managed to pass. They were hailed as the top two—obviously he was the number one, even if the bastard hadn’t given it his all and proved it during the Sports Festival—and yet every other damn person had that stupid laminated card with their dumbass pictures on them. While he and Icy-Hot would have to take remedial classes to try to earn their own.

Damn, it was so frustrating. Most of his point deductions were because of his interactions with those HUC guys. He was “too harsh in his word choice” and “too uncaring about their emotional distress”—it was bullshit! He had avoided going after the exercise’s villains, knowing that he was supposed to focus on the rescue. Yeah, he knew that was something he lacked and purposefully put himself there—and it was the whole reason he failed! If he had listened to his instincts, the ones that said to ditch Kirishima and Dunceface and go help fight—

His fingers twitched as he fought to keep from clenching them and activating his quirk—that feeling of being so close to snapping was back with a vengeance. It always got so strong when he started considering the “what ifs” of things recently. And those “what ifs” always brought him back to…

He raised his chin, finally looking away from his paper, to find the person that he needed to seek out. Katsuki forced himself up from his seat and made a point of walking past the damn nerd, muttering that they needed to talk outside after curfew—about “his” quirk. He didn’t say any more than that, instead heading up to his dorm room until that time finally came.

Yeah, that was definitely one of the things that was making him so anxious—a contributor to this tension that just kept building with no sign of slowing down. It wasn’t that he had pieced everything together. That wasn’t quite it. No, it was those what ifs that ended up hanging over his head about it.

Once he had finally reached the fourth floor, Katsuki forced his door open and stepped inside, before he leaned his back into it to shut it again, flicking his lights on with his free hand. He stayed like that, looking up to the room’s ceiling, as his thoughts continued to race. Deku had gotten All Might’s quirk. He still needed a concrete answer to prove it. All Might wouldn’t give it to him. But that nerd—there’s no way he would lie about it, not to him. But what if it hadn’t been Deku? Why did it have to be him? Why did All Might need to give it up at all?

Was that why All Might had faltered so much in that fight in Kamino Ward? Why he looked like a skeleton now? Katsuki clenched his hand, only to hear the crinkle of the handout that still resided in its grasp. “Tch.” He tossed it in the direction of his desk as he decided to make his way to his bed. He didn’t bother to notice whether it had landed in the proper spot.

He collapsed back onto the mattress, continuing to stare upward once he had. That fight in Kamino… Every time his thoughts went there, it took every ounce of his willpower not crumble on himself. No, it wasn’t because of shitty Deku that All Might was so weak there. He had been so strong, even after Deku had somehow gotten his quirk.

No, it was his own fault. Bakugou damn Katsuki was the reason All Might was forced to retire—the reason the highest, toughest wall in the world was reduced to rubble. He fought so hard to try to surpass him; and all he had to show for it was destroying the man he had so admired. He wanted so hard to blame someone else. But it always came back to the same thought.

He pressed his clenched fists to his forehead as though that might do anything to silence it. But it did no such thing—the words still found their way out of him: “If you were stronger, idiot.” No one else was so weak that they had been taken. No. Just him. “If you hadn’t been kidnapped in the first place—dammit!” Even if that damn nerd had tried his hardest to be—the idiot trying to leap into that warp with them.

That moment had felt like it lasted an eternity. Deku had leapt forward, his arms splinted, his face all kinds of messed up and screaming out that terrible nickname that Katsuki hated. He remembered barely choking out a feeble, “Don’t come, Deku,” before the sight had disappeared from his vision. And then he showed up to try to fucking get him anyway. Couldn’t he listen?!

What did All Might see in him anyway? That was another thought that had been plaguing him since the incident.

He remembered watching how the end of their final exam had played out once he came to. No, Deku couldn’t listen. It had been a simple order that he get through that gate. That Katsuki was to be the distraction. They could have won it without shattering his pride, dammit! But no, that shithead couldn’t do something as simple as that.

He remembered the attack at the USJ, at least twice, that idiot had jumped out to the villains and clearly had no plan for what came next. Yeah, Deku threw himself into things when he should just stay out. That had only turned out okay because fucking Katsuki had attacked the warp guy. And the second time was only because all the other teachers had turned up at the perfect moment.

And the worst thing—the absolute worst thing—he remembered all those years ago. It felt like anytime Katsuki had bothered to look over his shoulder, there was always that shag of green hair bobbing along behind him. He kept chasing after people even if they wanted nothing to do with him! How much clearer did someone have to be? Constantly putting someone down…beating them up—that wasn’t enough? Why couldn’t he just understand that it was too hard to have someone like him around?

How could All Might think more highly of that guy…? They had both been there that day with the sludge villain. All Might had only showed up when Deku was nearly done for—and no sooner. To add to that, the hero hadn’t even spoken to Katsuki afterward. Yeah, the press had swarmed, sure. But knowing what he did now…well, he had a feeling those two had some kind of talk. All the other heroes had sung praises about his quirk. But he didn’t care about those extras—he wanted his hero to notice him.

But all he seemed to notice was that damn shitty Deku. What could be so special about him? What did he have that Katsuki didn’t? He wanted—needed to know the answer. He glanced at the clock, it wasn’t too much longer now. Curfew would be called soon. He would have it tonight.

Yeah, he would have that answer. He would make sure of it.

#BnHA #Boku no Hero Academia #Bakugou Katsuki #the cookie sings

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