#okay but for serious. NOW im going to bed. gonna snork mimimi so hard

[camels-pen]

vampire Usopp au where Sanji can't find Usopp, finds a small bat in his workshop, and comes to the conclusion that the bat IS Usopp.

He spends most of the day caring for Bat Usopp and keeping up one sided conversations so Usopp wouldn't feel lonely. He sets up this little box filled with cloth scraps and sets the bat in there after one too many close calls at the edge of the table.

When Usopp makes some kind of unhappy sounding noise, Sanji says some deeply poetic lovey dovey stuff that basically boiled down to "I would love you even if you were a bat the rest of your life" and Sanji has a moment of, 'oh fuck I just said I loved him'.

He's nervously watching for Usopp's reaction and then Usopp starts climbing out of his box and up Sanji's arm.

There was only one way to interpret that, in Sanji's mind- a passionate declaration of Usopp's own feelings for Sanji. He's teary eyed and telling Usopp all about how much he loved him. Promising to eventually find a way for Usopp to communicate, so he could tell Sanji how he felt in a way Sanji could hear him.

Dinner rolls around. Sanji's practically skipping around the kitchen. He's talking to Bat Usopp about what all they could do for their first date as the crew filtered into the galley.

And then who would appear right behind Franky, but Usopp.

Human- er, Vampire Usopp.

Sanji stared, mouth agape.

"Man, working maintenance on the hull is rough work," Usopp said, groaning when he sat down.

Franky laughed as he sat next to him. "I warned you, didn't I? And you didn't even stop for lunch."

"Well, the quicker the better, right? We're still out at sea and all." He caught Sanji staring and tilted his head. "Something wrong, Sanji?"

Mutely, he shook his head and Usopp shrugged and turned back to Franky. The bat was climbing Sanji's arm again.

"Are you gonna date a bat, Sanji?" Luffy asked, sitting next to him with a full plate and a bone sticking out of his mouth. "Because that's kinda weird."

Sanji slammed his head on the table.

#one piece #sanuso #vampire usopp #like a crack idea outside the main au if that makes sense #also hiii guess who lied in the tags of their last post #okay but for serious. NOW im going to bed. gonna snork mimimi so hard