#ok to reblog for my non religious and ex catholic homies

[silverjirachi]

I went to do the stations of the cross with my family this past weekend for good friday/easter not because i’m religious but because they are and i enjoy latently existing in religious spaces. However this time around I realized something that I think really got to the heart of why I stopped wanting to follow Catholicism.

During the stations there was this repeated phrase (I dont think this is universal but it might be) that says “Let me die than ever sin again” and I got to thinking about that and.

In its kindest, most gentle interpretation, sin is simply an action that brings us away from god. It’s the root of suffering because we aren’t one with god. The implications here are that sin makes god sad because he wants to be close to us absolutely and that for us to stop sinning makes us one with him, stops our suffering, and allows us to live as our most true, authentic selves. There’s a lot to unpack with that as it pertains to free will but that’s not what I’m here to talk about today.

What struck me today was how this must sound from god’s perspective. Or at least, from the perspective of a god who is truly omnipotent and unconditionally loving.

Now, I’m no theologian and I am just one guy but if I was a god, or ANYONE with any relationship with another human being, I don’t think that is… something I would want said about me? We are encouraged to view the relationship with god as a parent-child, close friend, and even in some CERTAIN, SPECIFIC, VERY TENUOUS contexts even as romantic. (Beware the blapshemy on that last one lest you be burned at the stake). I wouldn’t want someone I loved thinking that every time they fucked up they should just die. That’s horrible. I’d want them to get help for that. Even if they were trying, or even not trying, or not trying very hard, I wouldnt want them to feel like their closeness to me was contingent on them never screwing up ever. To the point where they’d rather die than mess up again. I’d look at them and say ‘girl get help.’

It also doesn’t sound like true love to me. It doesn’t sound like the words of someone who is trying their best but knows they are fallible and will be loved no matter what. It just sounds like self flagellation for the sake of self flagellation which I guess if you’re into that, cool.

That’s just me though. Maybe i’m a kinder god than most.

#current mood #religion #catholicism #this is not an open debate post btw in case any fundies or catholics find this #you will be blocked #ok to reblog for my non religious and ex catholic homies #or people who are chill about religion