#oj haywood jr might be my fave horror movie protag of all time

[bode-rook]

So the thing about Nope that has unexpectedly stuck with me is the particular kind of gruff, stoic cowboy masculinity that is portrayed in OJ Senior, and which I am familiar with in a way that I have a lot of mixed feelings about. The kind of man who takes all his anger and pain and fear and sensitivity and channels it into Work. Practical, not prone to using more words than necessary, certainly capable of being harsh but only because life made him that way. Definitely has a soft side but only shows the tiniest glimpses of it at a time. And even though OJ Sr’s part in the movie is technically very small, it still feels like he’s there the whole time - not only as a tangible presence, a ghost haunting the narrative (the horse he died on was Ghost) but also in his son, who is his own wonderful character but also obviously takes so much of himself from his father. Em loves and understands him so much and yet his stoic near-silence obviously frustrates her at times. @horseshit-posts (hope u don’t mind me tagging) recently made a great post about how to him, staying to take care of the horses and his home was not brave or heroic, it was just the thing to do. It was just his job, just Work, just all that his father had built, and if he abandoned it who would he be? What would he have?

I’m not saying it’s necessarily an entirely healthy way to be in the long run. In addition to hampering your ability to deal with your emotional baggage it also makes you seem distant and unknowable at times to even the people closest to you. But it doesn’t make you bad, and it sure as hell doesn’t make you unloveable. I know because my grandfather was the same way. He died a couple weeks ago. I went to his memorial service the day before I saw Nope, and I felt like I was watching him on that screen, and feeling him in that house, the same way I feel him in this one. I saw my dad in OJ Jr, and a little of my brothers and maybe myself too. I think about that grumpy old cowboy as I navigate this house, slightly emptier now but still full of his cowboy hats and barn keys and Dickies and work gloves. I think of my stoic and unknowable father, still alive and still very much loved despite his flaws and mistakes, and his even more stoic and unknowable father, whose ashes are now in a box down the hall from me, who died in a room right next to mine and whose scuffed up old boots are too big for any of us to fill. And I don’t know what my point really is with any of this except to say that I’m really glad I saw that movie when I did. I didn’t expect it to have a happy ending but when I saw OJ through the dust I started sobbing. And I just know his and Em’s dad would have been so proud of them both, even if he might not have said it out loud.

#nope movie #nope spoilers #nope 2022 #idk if im rambling i guess im in the grieving process (cringe) and also have covid brainfog but like #idk i know its supposed to be in cali but as a rural southerner i was like i know that man #i know so many of that man #and they are so fucked up and infuriating sometimes but like #I Get It okay #anyways #oj haywood jr might be my fave horror movie protag of all time #but yeah its a fucking western (in addition to all the other things it is) #and oj jr is the j*hn w*yne character except not a piece of shit #you love to see it #i guess he really reminded me of my older cousin as well (also heavily influenced by my grandpa obvs) #the kind of ppl who you love and know they love you but you dont always know how to talk to each other once ur not a kid anymore