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lolamarlowe65 · 1 year

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𝓘𝓷 𝓶𝔂 𝓯𝓮𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 //James Hetfield

“The house next door was just sold, i hope the new neighbour will be nice.”

part eight of ? part seven

disclaimers: smut, age gap (modern day james), slow burn, cursing, smoking, drinking, kissing, mentions of a size kink, mentions of death, big girls stuff nsfw

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࿓ 𓋪・𖧹 𖤐

Chapter 8 - Unexpected turn

I didn't sleep much. Just enough to get me through the day. My mind was occupied with James's picture. During the night I grabbed my phone a few times just to look at it. I am the only one in the world who has this picture. It feels like a part of him; a very public character; is only for me and me only. I turned around in my bed thinking about what could have been his reaction to my picture. I thought that what I sent was too much for a slight moment but given the lingering lust we have for each other, I doubt that. He makes me so alive and I won't regret at least trying. I think so much and feel so much and nothing has even happened between us. I can't help but imagine being with him, at his side, not only for lust but also for him.

I'm trying my best to look alive at work. Pamela is in a bad mood. She actually entered the pharmacy and threw some papers on the floor screaming "motherfucker". She never tells me anything about her personal life and considering her pissy mood I won't dare ask.

The day is slow, it's like it will never end! The store is closed because we had inventory to do, then we've got deliveries and now we're cleaning and stocking back the shelves. I feel like I am dragged into the hell of one of Pamela's manic episodes. But frankly, it occupies my mind.

"- Hey Ann, can you put the TV on?! Like a music channel or something?!" Pamela asks me.

"- Yeah for sure!" i answer.

There's a TV on one of the shelves behind the counter, it's mostly used for commercials and stuff. Those give you headaches all the time and that's why I hate this TV. Except on inventory day, we put it on for music. It goes from shitty music videos to the old music I am so fond of up to interviews and lives. Right now there's this loud guy who's talking about some new exclusive interview with Metallica coming up next. Wait? Metallica?! I turn the sound up to be able to hear clearly. This must be the interview James was in San Francisco for.

"- Hey guys how are y'all doing?" the journalist asks.

Oh god, it is. I can see James clearly, he is the same. He doesn't put up a character or anything. I mean to me he is already very aloof and strong minded so I guess you don't need to change a thing when you're the frontman of a metal band. The fact is, his sweet smile and good heart doesn't disappear either. He mixes them both so well and stays himself. His voice is calm and his words are well chosen, it reminds me of how much I love talking to him. It makes me so happy. I hope I will see him lost in his music one day. Seeing him play must say so many more things.

I recognise Kirk next to him, he looks and sounds the same as when I met him. And the two other guys must be Lars and Robert. Who is who tho? Who is the one that would look the most like an hyperactive drummer boy? I could check but I'll let it go so I can discover it when time comes. If it ever comes. James looks so busy. They are passionately talking about their new upcoming album and their tour next year. I don't know if I will see him as much as I do today and this thought makes me sad. All the people I have an attachment to all go away at some point. I shouldn't think about it. I don't even know what I exactly feel about James. I shake my head around trying to get back to my work and get those thoughts out of my head.

"- So last but not least. James this question might be too personal but we know things changed around in your personal life. We'd love to know how things are going?" the reporter asked James.

I turn my head around. What a shitty question. "Personal life". It means what it says for Christ's sake! Still, I'd love to hear the answer. Just morbid curiosity. From what Stacy told me, I finally remember he got a divorce not long ago. I don't why but this information came back to mind now. Then he moved out here but we never talked about it and as much as I'd love to know about it in a more intimate setting and not through a very public interview I can't stop but listening to the answer. He is very secretive about it so I can't stop thinking he doesn't know what he feels about all that. He has this whole life build for himself, what could he possibly find interesting about a young chick like me? I know he's not doing all that just for my ass, but then, why?

"- Well man, things were complicated at first but I think I'm good now. Let's say "things" took an unexpected turn." James smiles and laughs slightly.

"- Oh! Interesting and are we going to know about this "unexpected turn" soon?" the reporter asks back.

"- That I can't tell you, but I sure hope." James smiles.

I think I turned red. I cannot be what he is talking about. Nah I can't. I'm not the centre of the world, even more of his. I play with his necklace around my neck trying to get all this out of my head.

"- Haha anyway thank you guys for accepting this interview, I know y'all are pretty busy those times." the journalist says before turning his head to look at the camera. "Stay tuned on this channel tomorrow night. Metallica is playing live for charity and we are here to retransmit it! See y'all tomorrow!"

They're playing tomorrow night? I think I will watch the live. I just want to see how he looks while playing, how they look as a band. I need to see this.

"- Hey Ann, the fuck you doing?" i hear Pam coldly saying.

"- Yeah sorry Pam, coming right up." i answer.

She is right on this point, I just lost myself in my thoughts and the interview for a good amount of time. Let's go back to work. Time is so slow I don't know when I'll get out of here. I better work without a thought in my head to make it go faster.

I finally ended my shift and went to the hospital right away. Early in the morning the hospital called and asked my grandmother to come right away. Apparently, something in her analysis was not clear, they needed her to retake it. Their tone was pressed and I just hope it's nothing bad. Her health is declining those days and I was happy to know nothing was bad in her analysis but apparently my rest was short.

As I arrive I immediately go to my grandmother. They set her up in a room. Just for simple analysis? This definitely doesn't look good.

"- Are you okay grandma?" i ask, voice trembling.

I go and hug her tightly. I need her. I don't want anything bad happening to her. I just wouldn't be able to take it.

"- I am okay sweetheart. I promise." she says sweetly, caressing my head.

"- Don't make me a false promise. You know I couldn't take it." i answer, almost crying.

I can feel that something isn't right. I can feel my grandmother's anxiety through her body. I know she's trying to make me feel better. I know she's telling me to calm myself. But I can't. She's all I have left.

A doctor walks in the room and asks me to talk privately.

"- How is she doing?" i ask.

"- Well, I will be honest with you. Her arthritis is getting worse. There is a high chance she will not be able to walk anymore." he says unbothered, i almost started crying. "We want to keep her here on observation so we can figure out if we can operate on her and to make sure it doesn't spread to her other members." he continues.

"- Will she ever go home?" i ask.

"- Not constantly. It will be better for her if she stays here at the hospital for the time being. I gather some of her friends are also here, we will make sure she has contacts with them and that you can come see her everyday. But it will be better if she stays here."

"- You don't look very optimistic." i say.

"- I'm sorry miss." he answers, not sorry.

The doctor goes away after handing me the papers I need to sign for her admission. I won't do anything without asking my grandmother. My mom asked to get her out of the hospital in her last weeks. She knew she wouldn't make it and chose to stay by our side in the house. Without her asking me, I wouldn't have done anything. My grandma deserves this choice. The doctor was not very optimistic. She is probably going to have her last birthday this year. I am defeated. I want to stay optimistic, to say to myself she is gonna be okay and everything is gonna come back to normal, but I know it's not the case. Preparing myself for this eventuality actually helps me with dealing with it all. I go back to her room and sit next to her on her bed.

"- The doctor wants you to stay here until then." i say, crushed, putting my head on her shoulder.

"- It's okay sweetheart. I will stay here." she answers.

I let out a sob. Today should have been a good day. But it's not. My grandmother tries her best to move around to cup my face with her hands.

"- Ann. My beautiful Ann." she says, putting strands of my hair behind my ear. "You are a smart young woman. I know you understood this visit at the hospital will probably be my last. It's been a few months my health is not doing great and your mother knew it too. Your mother knew I would leave you not long after she did but I promise you sweetheart." her voice trembled. "I promise we will always be with you. Forever and ever. I know you will figure your life out. I know you will find someone who will love you as much as your mother and I do. It's gonna be hard, but I don't want to see my beautiful baby girl losing herself in false hope." she wipes a tear off my face. "I love you. I love you so much. Be happy." she says before finaling. "In the meantime, don't stay here all the time. Come see me everyday, but once you get out, live your life. I want to see you happy during my last moments."

I'm crying so much. I can't accept the truth of this. I just can't.

"- Grandma... I don't want to lose you. I love you, stay with me." i sob.

She puts her forehead against mine and we cry together. Even if she cries like me, she keeps on her sweet smile, this smile that would always reassure me. That would always cheer me up and make me go on. It still does now. Even if it's hard. I will respect her wishes. I will try to live out of here. I will come see her and change her mind with my stories for as long as she stays here. I don't know what will happen to me after she's gone. But I will try it. Just for my mom and grandma.

"- My mind is good but my body fails me. I will always exist, I will always be with you. Like your mom is in this beautiful heart of yours." my grandmother reassures me.

"- Did you sign the papers miss?" the doctor comes into the room to say.

"- Don't you see my granddaughter and I are having a discussion? What do you think your mother would think of this young man?!" my grandma interrupts him. "She will give them to you, now leave her be." she adds.

Her response made me laugh. Her mind is still there and in good health. But her body isn't. Like my mom. Knowing that she will keep her character intact until her last breath makes me feel more at peace with all this.

"- Sorry ma'am." the doctor says embarrassed before walking out.

"- Don't let them piss you off. Silly little doctors who think they're better than you because they got a diploma." she rolls her eyes. "Know what you want and get it." she says.

I'm still crying. My head's a mess but I gather myself to sign those papers. Before I get out to hand the papers my grandma calls for me.

"- Darling, get home. Have yourself a peaceful afternoon. Get me my stuff tomorrow will ya? The nurses are very nice, they will take care of me." my grandmother asks me.

"- Are you sure?" i answer.

"- Yes my love. Come here so I can give you a kiss."

I walk toward my grandmother. She gives me a kiss on my forehead and hugs me tightly. Before she lets me out she whispers in my ear.

"- Would you get Stacy, Pamela and James to come here tomorrow sweetheart? I want to give them a word." she asks.

Stacy and Pamela I get but James? What does she want to tell him? It makes James even more important to me knowing that my grandmother thinks so highly of him. Even if I don't know how to ask James I will try. I don't know how he is gonna react.

"- Okay. I will. I can't promise anything for James. He is busy. I'll have to catch him before then."

"- I am sure you will, love." she smiles, hinting something.

She let go of me and I got out of the room holding tears in the corner of my eyes. Now, each time I will get out of this room I will not be able to know if this is the last time I see her. But I need to keep my head high and do what she asked me. Before heading out, I give back the papers to the doctor. I know James is coming back soon, I told him I would see him today but I don't know if I actually will. Deep within myself, I hope I will. I want him to tell me everything's okay. I want to open this pain of mine to him.

When I get home I lay down on the couch. I don't want to cry so I look at the ceiling with empty eyes while smoking a cigarette. This house is empty without her. I think about my future. My grandmother has lived a full life. She went for her passion, she travelled all around the world and met my grandpa, she had a kid, which she always wanted to have but she never put her work and passion aside. Do I want to travel? How to live off of your passion? Do I want kids? I don't know. My mom would tell me to stop thinking so much, she would say that I will see what will happen when it will happen. She is right. But I'm sure of only one thing right now: I will keep on living to make these two women who made me who I am proud. I just hate the fact that I am so alone in this. Putting my hand on my collar bone to touch the necklace I open my messages, hoping to see one of James, but nothing. He has seen my message. It's written he saw it. I think I'm gonna break down.

I hear a knock on the door and go up slowly to open it.

"- Coming!" i open the door.

"- Hey Anna." James expresses calmly.

"- Ja... James." i say, surprised.

"- Are you okay?" he asks me right away.

I didn't even answer him. I just threw myself into his arms. I hold him tightly by the chest. Maybe it's too much and he will reject me but I didn't think about it, I just needed to do it. James doesn't move, he doesn't do anything. I shouldn't have done that. I try to go back and stop hugging him but James holds me back immediately into his arms. One of his hands is holding tightly by the waist and the other is in the back of my head. My head rests against his chest and I can hear his heart ringing. It goes fast but peacefully. I'm pretty sure his music is not as beautiful as this sound. I can feel him trying to move around. He doesn't let me go but he makes me understand to take a step back so he can close the door behind him. That's better. It's more intimate and makes me feel more at ease. He doesn't say anything and just holds me without forcing me to talk.

"- My grandma. She has to stay in the hospital. She probably doesn't have long anymore." i say, very softly.

"- Oh Anna." James sight. "Everything's gonna be okay." he holds me tighter.

James lets me out of his arms just to hold me lightly. Looking at me, he studies me, trying to get how I react.

"- You are the most courageous woman I know. And I'm sure your grandmother is the first to think it. I know you will be okay. I know she will be okay. Wherever she goes. It's gonna be hard. I know. But your mind is strong and you will keep her in your heart, always."

"- Thank you James." i say, sweetly.

"- Hey." he says, putting his hand on my cheek. "I know that saying those words won't heal you or make anything better but I'm saying them to you to tell you I'm here." he smiles. "I'm here for you. If you want it and whenever you need it."

I look up to him and my eyes dive into his. How happy I am to have him around. Somehow, it makes my grief more peaceful. Because I shared it with him. Because he is here for me. I had very few people around me when my mom died. Apart from my grandmother, Stacy and Pamela. They all helped me with their presence. Having them around made me more tranquil but having James around I feel protected. I didn't know I needed to feel protected until today, but I do. I want to feel like I have a shield that's not made with my survival instinct. A shield that's made of comfort and hope and mostly a strong shield that you wouldn't dare to try and break. James is that. He is comforting, he gives me hope and he's strong enough to kick anybody's ass. I'm pretty sure, at the very least, his mind is strong, and so is he. And as long as he allows me around him, I will see him as such. James isn't only that for me, well, not the only thing I want him to be but that's still too complicated to say. I love the way he is here for me. I don't know if I'm courageous but I will try.

"- Let me get you something to drink, Anna." he says, looking for the kitchen.

I draw a mellow smile, letting out a small laugh.

"- Here James." i show, walking toward it.

As we walk into the kitchen I go and get two glasses out of the cupboard. When I try to reach for the bottle in the fridge James stops me.

"- Let me do it. Sit down and ease your mind." he presses.

I nod and sit down at the table. How sweet.

"- My grandmother... she wants to see you tomorrow." i remember.

"- I'll be there." he answers immediately. "She will kick my ass if I don't come so I'll be there." he then jokes.

I love the way he jokes around to make me cheer up. And it works like a charm because it does make me laugh. She will kick his ass tho. Tomorrow night, James is supposed to play live and I know it. Now, I don't know too much about the organisation of a metal concert but I'm pretty sure his day will be quite busy. Yet he accepted right away without any condition. While I'm getting lost in my thoughts James pours me a drink and gives me the glass.

"- Thank you." i smile.

James leans himself against the kitchen counter in front of me and locks his gaze on me. The kitchen is not very big, having him here, like this, makes it feel even more tiny. Not in an anxious way at all, in a tensful way. It's like the walls are shrinking because the room wants us close. I'd love to nestle myself into his arms and stay here for hours. Feeling his heartbeat, reminding me that I have to keep on and make mine beat as peacefully as his. But I can't. I won't dare trying. The quick hug I had from him minutes ago was so intense I can barely hold on. He made me feel better just with his arms, he made me forget for a brief amount of time about this day. Made me forget about her leaving me. James observes me, probably wondering what I am blabbering about in my head.

"- I saw the interview." i interrupt my own head saying.

"- Did you?" he smiles.

"- The one you did yesterday in San Francisco. It was on this morning at the pharmacy."

"- And what did you think about it?" he answers, keeping on his smile.

"- Well, I still don't get who's Lars and who's Robert but I recognised Kirk. See, I'm becoming a fan. I'm getting there." i silently laugh.

"- You'd be the best fan we've ever had." he smirks. "But I'm already jealous of Kirk so retard the moment you get to know the two others." he jests.

His dumb joke let out of me an honest laugh. I'm also a hundred percent sure I'm burning red. I know he isn't actually jealous, and that would be weird if he was, trust me, but hinting a certain attachment to me by making these kinds of jokes makes me feel so confused.

"- I loved the way you talked. I love the way you don't change from the James I know. Even if I don't know you much yet. You are so sure of yourself and you show it by using a serene tone, never by bragging or thinking you are better than the ones around you. I love that about you." i say, calmly, James keeping his gaze locked on me. "I don't know much about your music but you sounded so passionate. I'm also glad you said things we're doing okay for you. Truly." i conclude.

I think again about "the unexpected turn" he talked about earlier. I'd loved to know what he was precisely talking about. My heart tells me I am, but my reason tells me that I'm giving myself delusions. But yet, there's the necklace, the photo I have of him, all of this that I can't forget about.

James puts his glass aside next to him and straightens up from the counter. I see him slowly walk towards me. This must be about four steps but it feels like twenty. Sitting on my chair, he approaches me and puts two of his fingers under my chin.

His hand.

He lifts my head up so I can look at him. James is already so tall, looking at him from this perspective makes me feel so weak. I don't have a size kink. I swear. And I'm not even "petite"! He is just so much. So much of him. So much that I want. My hand immediately goes to his necklace around my neck. Our eyes connecting on each other's gaze.

"- You know that you are my "unexpected turn"? Right?" James states.

I take a heavy breath. I think my heart skipped a beat. James looks entranced by me. His eyes glimmer a different light. Something changed in the air. Something that feels like the whiff of his breath in my neck I felt the other day. My heart was right. He was talking about me. He sees me in his future. When he said he would be here for me he knew he wanted my heart. His determination is obvious. I can see it in his eyes. But I can see he is scared. I can see he doesn't know how I will react. I get to see a side of him that I would have never guessed about the first time I saw him. He is so beautiful.

So fucking beautiful.

Suddenly my head moves up slightly, desperately trying to reach him. James's head does move toward mine too and I feel his hand slide slowly in the back of my head, in between my hair, helping me to stand up, pulling me toward him. In between paths, him and I trying to reach each other our lips connect. He kisses my lips passionately, holding onto me like he is afraid I'd disappear. But I'm not going anywhere, I have never felt something like this. Lust, romance, whatever. Time stopped at the moment we connected. My hand goes in the back of his neck, trying to reassure him. Telling him, "I'm not going anywhere." His body straightens up and moves me so I can stand up. At this moment, our lips disconnect so we can take a breath, but those seconds must have felt like hours because we kissed again as soon as we took one breath like we are starving without each other. James pushes me against the counter behind me and I push his head even closer to me with my hand in the back of his head as a way of telling him to deepen the kiss. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I let his tongue dance with mine. Grabbing my waist he pushes me back even further and I hear him grunt before he sits me down on the counter. One of his hands stays on my waist and the other goes in the back of my neck.

This is the best thing I've ever felt. I wish time would stop and we could stay like this forever.

"- Last night." James says, in between kisses and out of breath. "I thought I was going crazy when I saw your picture." he kisses me deeply. "I understood. I knew I had to come to you. All the reasons I am so entranced by you I could see in this picture. I had to see you." he kisses me again. "I had to tell you. I wouldn't even have dared to think about kissing you but here I am."

"- James..." i whisper.

"- Here I was with my silly picture, thinking I would make you smile, thinking I could make your eyes bliss, before you sent me this and made all my effort go to waste." he pauses and smiles. "You are so talented and so goddamn beautiful." he adds, our eyes locked on each other's.

My mouth opens slightly to express how bewildered I am. "You are so talented and so goddamn beautiful." Nobody has ever told me that. Never. Even more with such passion and honesty. I am speechless. I want him. Everything. I don't even wait before throwing myself in his arms again, kissing and hugging him, giving him the opportunity of giving me a bear hug, that he takes instantly. Such a sudden act. An act that I wanted to do for longer than you can think. Just feeling his lips on mine is better than anything I have done thinking about him.

"- James... I... You..." i try to gather my words.

"- Shhh... It's all about you right now." James answer.

I don't know how to tell him everything. Everything he makes me feel. Everything I want him to do to me and everything I want him to be. He understands me so well and his answers make me even weaker than I already am. I smile and he kisses me again, my hands starting to play with the end of his shirt. I need him so much. I can hear him grunt as he slowly slides his tattooed hand under mine, grabbing my waist roughly, playing with my skin.

"- The neck-" i say, interrupted by the phone in my house that starts to ring. fuck it. "Fuck it..." i whisper.

James stopped kissing me as the phone started to chime but I take his head back to crash him back onto my lips. His hand is still playing with this little parcel of my skin, initiating an indescribable fire into me. He's my fuel, my fire, my desire.

The phone stops to ring but bips, letting the person on the other side of the line leave a message.

"- Hey Ann... It's Stacy... I know you've had a shitty day but I really need you there." i can hear her hesitate. "Well... something happened. I tried your phone but as always, you leave it on silent. If you hear this, just know I left my door unlocked, see you soon!" Stacy concludes.

Her tone is sad and struggling and I feel guilty not hearing my phone ringing. If she had to call on the house phone then she was really desperate. I can feel James's hand let go of my waist to put a messy strand of my hair behind my ear.

"- Go." James says. "She needs you."

"- Are you sure?" i ask.

"- What do you think? Your friend needs you. I don't even have a say in this." he smiles, kissing my lips quickly.

James is such a sweetheart. I don't want this moment to end. But my best friend needs me and I will be here for her. Smiling, I can see him trying to gather his words.

"- Listen Anna. I want to do things right. I want you, but I don't want you to think I just want to play with you." he suspends, studying my expressions. "Let me take you on a date. One date."

"- Yes James. Show me everything about you. Take me anywhere." i answer, my arms wrapped around his neck.

"- Then come to my gig tomorrow night, I want you to see me play. Then the rest of the evening is for you, all for you." he pauses. "I will never accept you not having what you deserve." he concludes, one arm around my waist, one hand playing with my hair. "You deserve a date, you deserve something that's done right."

I nod. Delighted by this news. My whole life is changing and at least I'm glad James is a part of my new world. I want to see him play, I want to have a nice evening with him. I want to know him more deeply. I love the way he talks to me, I can't believe he thinks so highly of me, I can't believe anybody would ever treat me as good as he does in my life. Just for that, I don't wanna let it go. I was afraid my age would be a problem for him, I was afraid it would just be me. But he takes it seriously. And if I didn't have enough proof I can just look at the fire in his eyes, I can just feel his heartbeat. His body and mind work together to show me how honest he is. My eyes glimmering, happy the universe sent him to me in this weird period of my life. "Thank you mom" I say to myself chuckling.

"- Let me drive you at Stacy's." James interrupts, still playing with my hair.

I nod, I don't feel like driving right now. As I'll probably stay over at Stacy's tonight and go to the hospital with her tomorrow, using my car is useless anyway. Having more time with James isn't. Going down the counter I follow James to his car.

The ride is peaceful because I spend it looking at his expressions while he drives and I give him the instructions as to where Stacy lives. When he notices it he lets out a laugh and gives me quick looks trying to stay focused on the road. As we arrive, I thank him and get out of the car. Before I could go, he gets out of the car and asks me to come here. As I get to him, I feel a breeze and hold my arms together. I left home without taking anything other than my bag and I forgot my jacket, even if the weather is hot, the breeze in the evening is still cold. I'll take one of Stacy's for tomorrow, it's okay.

"- Here, take that." James says, putting his leather jacket on my shoulders.

"- I can take one of Stacy's, it's okay James." i smile.

"- I don't care." he teasingly smiles. "You look so good when you wear my things." he adds, looking at the necklace.

"- Okay." i answer, burning red.

His smell is impregnated on his jacket. I wish I could tease him back by giving him something with my smell on. Giving him my panties maybe is too much now but I would if I could easily take them out. I laugh at my dirty thoughts and I kiss his cheek as a thank you. Before I go James takes my wrist in his hand. This hand of course.

"- Send me a text before you go to sleep, just so I know you are okay and safe because if you don't, I'll come rescue you."

"- Don't tempt me, Mr. Hetfield." i conclude, walking towards Stacy's place.

I can't believe how well he treats me. I can't believe he made me actually feel good on a shitty day like this. I can't believe I will get to have that again tomorrow. I can't believe James is real.

࿓ 𓋪・𖧹 𖤐

A/N : i’m sorry it took me so long to write it, i got sick and all. hope you enjoy it because i loves writing it <33 just imagine living that with james aargh

#james hetfield #james hetfield smut #james hetfield fanfiction #metallica #metallica smut #metallica fanfiction #lola’s delusions

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fatoomie2801 · 3 years

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his queen | kyoya tategami

💫 preview 💫

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The next morning, Kiara woke up to the loud bang of the door being opened.

"Kiara, I lost!" Gingka whined as he slumped on the couch opposite her. The girl sat up and looked at Gingka with a tired yet sympathetic expression on her face.

"You'll win next time. I know you will, okay?" she assured him.

"But he was so small! And so strong! I can't believe it!" he cried, earning giggles from her.

"Gingka," Kenta called, walking in. "Stop whining already. None of us could get any sleep last night because all you would do is wake up from your dreams saying 'I lost!'" Kiara noticed Kenta's arm bandaged and held by a support.

"Kenta?" she began, climbing out of bed and making her way towards the young boy, concern plastered all over her face. "Is your arm okay? What happened?"

"That blader, Yu, battled me and Hikaru and defeated us both with his really strong special move," Kenta explained.

"Yu?" Kiara asked. "Isn't he the blader who defeated Gingka?"

"Stop talking about it!" Gingka whined, placing his hands on his ears and kicking his legs about in the air. "I don't wanna hear it anymore!"

"He must be really strong, huh?" Kiara continued, receiving a nod from Kenta as a response.

"He was the one who took me to the medical tent to get my arm bandaged up, though," the young boy added.

"Aww, he seems like a nice guy," Kiara smiled. "Oh yeah, and who's this Hikaru?"

"Seems like there are still a lot of people you need to meet, Kiara," Benkei commented, walking into the room. Kiara smiled and agreed, surprised by how many of Gingka's friends she had yet to meet. She turned her attention back to Kenta.

"Kenta, listen to me. Don't battle for the next couple of days until your arm gets better okay?" she advised. "Benkei, please keep an eye on him. I don't want him getting hurt. His arm already looks quite bad."

"You sound like you're his mother," Gingka laughed. "It's funny."

"You know what, Kenta. You can watch me train. How about that?" Benkei suggested.

"Oh, but that's so boring," Kenta whined. "I wanna battle."

"But Kiara over here said you're not allowed to, okay?" Benkei responded.

"You know, she is right Kenta," Gingka added, sitting upright. "You should take a break from battling. You've worked so hard to become as strong as you are now. You definitely need a break, okay?" Kenta sighed and agreed, following Benkei out of the room, leaving Kiara and Gingka alone. The two spent the rest of the morning and most of that afternoon talking about Gingka's friends and their adventures together. They then diverted their attention towards their phones, scrolling away at social media whilst stopping momentarily to show each other funny videos they had seen. After a while, Kiara put her phone away and laid back on the bed, looking up at the ceiling with her hands behind her head.

"Gingka," Kiara began. Gingka looked at her, signalling that she had his full attention. "Who's this Kyoya guy?"

"Kyoya? He's one of my greatest rivals," Gingka answered.

"Really? He seems like a really strong blader."

"Yeah, he is. He uses a Rock Leone and is the kind of guy who battles fiercely with his opponents. One thing I know for sure is that he has a strong blader's spirit and never runs away from a battle."

"So," a third voice spoke, "Kiara, is it?"

Both Gingka and Kiara turned their attention to the doorway, where their gaze met a tall figure with spiky, dark green hair. Kyoya.

"Yeah, that's me. Why do you ask?" Kiara responded.

"You think I'm a strong blader, huh?" Kyoya questioned.

"Yeah, I do. I watched your battles in the survival tournament yesterday and I've got to say, I think you're pretty strong."

"Only pretty strong?" he scoffed. "I am Gingka's number one rival, and with this Rock Leone," he continued, retrieving his bey from his bey holder and presenting it to Kiara. "I am going to defeat him one day. I'll show you mine and Leone's strength. Battle me!"

Gingka told Kyoya to calm down and take it easy since this was Kiara's first encounter with him.

"Listen, Kyoya," Kiara began. "I'm not looking to battle you right now. I just want some training from a really strong blader and I think you might be able to help with that."

"And what exactly do you need training for?" Kyoya asked, lowering the hand that held Leone.

"I need to..." Kiara paused momentarily, looking at Gingka. "Get revenge on someone," she continued, earning an upset look from the boy. Kiara knew he wasn't pleased with her answer but she chose to ignore it.

"Oh, an enemy," Kyoya smirked, his interest piqued. "What did they do to make you want to get revenge, huh?"

"I don't need to tell you that."

"Alright, well in that case, you still have to battle me!" Kyoya fetched his launcher and attached Leone to it.

"Kyoya, what are you doing?" Gingka asked as he stood up, earning a glare from his rival, concern evident in his voice.

"Stay out of it, Gingka," Kyoya warned, turning his attention back to Kiara. "If I win this battle, you tell me who this enemy of yours is and why you want to get revenge on them. Understood?"

"And you'll still train me?" Kiara enquired.

"Hmph. I'll see if I feel like it."

"Alright."

"Get ready to battle, then! What are you waiting for?"

Kyoya's battle stance was interrupted by Madoka who walked into the room.

"Madoka, is Columba repaired yet?" Kiara asked.

"Repaired?" Kyoya repeated, annoyed at what he had just heard.

"I'm sorry, Kiara. Columba was too damaged to repair. There's nothing I can do about it," Madoka answered dejectedly.

"Say what? So I can't battle her now? How pathetic," Kyoya growled angrily, lowering his launcher. "This is a waste of my time. I'm getting out of here."

"Kyoya," Gingka warned. "Wait."

"Madoka," Kiara spoke. "Please tell me you're joking and that this is all some kind of prank."

"I'm afraid not," Madoka replied. "I'm really sorry Kiara." Upon hearing those words, Kiara's heart sank and she became visibly upset. Not wanting to break down in front of the others, she left the room, Gingka and Madoka calling after her.

"What's up with that?" Kyoya enquired, putting Leone away. Madoka turned to face Gingka.

"Whoever it was she battled that one time must have drained all of her energy. All the power in her bey was completely used up," she informed him. "You remember how she was when she first showed up, don't you Gingka?"

"Yeah, I do," Gingka uttered.

"Wow, that badly?" Kyoya asked.

"Yeah, Kyoya," Madoka responded. "That badly."

"That must be one strong opponent. No wonder she wanted to get revenge," Kyoya spoke, readying himself to leave. "I'm gonna go and find out who it is."

"Kyoya, she's upset right now. Just let her be," Gingka warned, glaring at Kyoya.

"I don't care whether she's crying like a baby or not," the green-haired boy replied, gaining an angered look from both Gingka and Madoka. "I just want to find out who this strong blader is so that I can defeat them."

Madoka and Gingka sighed as they watched Kyoya leave the room.

"Well, there's no stopping him now," Madoka spoke. "I'm gonna get back to repairing beys." She walked out of the room, leaving Gingka alone to think about the events that had just occurred. Of course, he felt terrible for Kiara considering that she wasn't able to get her bey back. What can I do? he wondered. After pondering for a long while, Gingka got up and made his way to Madoka's repair room.

"Madoka, I need Cassiopeia," Gingka demanded.

"What? Grand Cassiopeia?" she shrieked. "What do you need Cassiopeia for?"

"Don't worry about that," he answered.

"But-"

"Trust me, Madoka. She said I could use it if I ever needed it and now's the time for that."

"I understand, Gingka," Madoka sighed as she retrieved a small box from the bottom drawer of her desk before handing it to Gingka.

"Thank you."

────────────────────

the rest of chapter 2 is available on wattpad:

#kyoya tategami #fanfic #beyblade metal fight #beyblade #gingka hagane #madoka amano #tsubasa otori #yu tendo #ryuga kishatu

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fullyellowsun · 3 years

Text

Park Village | 8

Sleepover:

I do not own the gif, credit to the owner.

Constructive criticisms are welcome! This is in Korean so for those of you who can read Korean and English, go ahead! I will post a full English version link to the Wattpad story in the masterlist! (Juyeon/주연 could be you.)

I miss EXO so much…

Pairing: ok, ok, i'll tell you, it's baekhyun x juyeon/you

Genre: kpop idol’s relative!AU

Word Count: 1830 words

Description: Juyeon is invited to a sleepover with EXO and it gets a little heated.

Masterlist

I go to the store to pick up a sleeping bag and a few other things and I buy snacks because I don't want to come empty-handed. I pack a backpack with clothes and my toiletries. I just continue to watch videos while waiting for Chanyeol.

"Juyeon, you ready?"

"Oh, 오빠, you're here? Let's go!" I grab my stuff and run to the car. He just follows. "You don't need to pack?"

"No, I live there, remember." He laughs. We get there and enter in the dorm because Chanyeol had the key. We head upstairs where the boys were just talking and playing video games.

"Hi Juyeon! I heard yesterday was quite a party." Sehun says knowingly. I glare at Baekhyun and he just shrugs. Chanyeol just gives me a "I-told-you-so" look.

"Yes... it was." I say in a sassy tone. Sleeping bags were already laid out on the floor and snacks were everywhere. I throw over my bag of snacks to the people sitting on the couch.

"고마워!" They say as they open up the bag. I lay out my sleeping bag and just watch them play games.

"Awww... can we do something else other than watch you guys play games?" Kai whines.

"What should we do then?" Chanyeol asks.

"I don't know, you find a game."

"How about we play a game where we each write a punishment, we put it in a bowl and we each have to choose one and do it. Oh, and we'll include king and servant." He says. The boys playing games turn off the TV and bring out a paper, pencils, and a bowl.

"What''s king and servant?" I ask.

"The king gets to tell the servant what to do." I nod and start writing a punishment. I think. Hmm... it would be fun to see someone do a girl group. I write that down and put it in the bowl. The others do too. "주연아, you choose first." Chanyeol said. I take a paper and pass the bowl around. We were sitting in a circle. After everyone chose their papers, I open mine and laugh.

"Who wrote this?" The others looked at me confused.

"What is it?" I show the paper to everyone. 'Do a sexy dance on Juyeon' is what it said.

"Aww... I was hoping I would get that one." Kai said. I give him a weird look.

"You wrote it?" He nods. "Sooo... what am I supposed to do?" I laugh. "I can't really dance on myself."

"Then dance on one of us." Kai says obviously wanting me to dance on him.

"Uh, yeah, no thanks."

"Awww... you're no fun." Baekhyun says.

"You too?" He nods.

"Just like, dance on the chair or table or something." Chanyeol says. I get up to get on the table and Chanyeol just averts his eyes. "I can't watch..." I shrug and begin. There was no music so it was kind of awkward but I just did my best to make it as 'sexy' as possible. I do what most people would consider sexy. I flipped my hair and moved my butt. Chanyeol closed his eyes the whole time but the others were in awe. After I finished, they clapped.

"Thanks but I don't think I'm that good." They give a thumbs up.

"You were the best. You should definitely do more dancing." Sehun says.

"Okay, let's move on." I laugh at Chanyeol who couldn't look at me. "Oh, it's me." He looks at his paper and looks around. "Who wrote this?! I am NOT doing this."

"But you made the game!"

"What is it?" I ask. I peak over to see what it says. I laugh again. "Hah! Yes, you totally have to do it. Come at me."

"What is it?" Suho asks.

"I know what it is... how come Chanyeol gets it?" Baekhyun says giggling.

"You wrote it? Wh- I- Ho- I'm speechless." Chanyeol says.

"I wanted it... 깹송(kkaepsong)." Baekhyun says sadly.

"Ahhhh... what is it!" Kai whines.

"주연에게 콜하게 고백하세요." I read off. The others look at Chanyeol jealously.

"Do I have to do this?!"

"Yasss... you have to do this! I want to see it!" I say. Chanyeol glares at me. He gets up and grabs me to get up. He grabs his guitar and starts singing.

"I think you're cute, you may think I'm not, my feelings for you couldn't stay mute, I like you. I wanna ask you out on a date, but will you say okay? Meet me at Starbucks next Thursday, I'll wait." He sings trying not to cringe. I clap.

"와... I would totally go out with you if you weren't my cousin." I say.

"I totally could've done better." Baekhyun rolls his eyes and mumbles. He opens his paper and immediately smiles and giggles like his usual self.

"What does it say?" I ask. Chanyeol looks over and rolls his eyes.

"Who keeps on writing these? This is my cousin!"

"What does it say?" I ask again.

"주연에게 섹시하게 고백하세요." Baekhyun reads out excitedly.

"Again? Who keeps on writing these?" I say. Baekhyun gets up and pulls me up with him. He pins me to the wall.

"Hi Juyeon, remember me? Baekhyun?" He says in a raspy voice.

"Uh... yes?" I say feeling helpless.

"Oh, you do? That's good. I hope you remember this too." He gets close to my ear and I could feel his breath. "Beach. You. Me. Next Thursday. 3PM. Got it?" I just nod. "Good." He moves his face from my ear to face me again. He then leans in about to kiss me.

"Cut!" Chanyeol says before he gets too close. I turn away blushing and the others look at Baekhyun jealously.

"So, how'd I do?" Baekhyun asks me.

"Uhh... I think you accomplished the dare but if that's how you ask out a girl... I don't think you'll the most positive responses from me specifically." The others laugh at him.

"Why?"

"Do you remember me?" I mock him. He looks down embarrassed. "I'm definitely going to remember that. Suho 오빠, just open your paper." He opens it and shows it to everyone.

"King? Oooo, you're lucky, you don't have to do a dare." I say jealously. "종인오빠, open yours!"

"Girl group dance... which one? Who wrote this?" I raise my hand.

"역시 the main dancer of the group gets the girl group dance dare." I clap. "Do 살짝 설렜어." I laugh. He gets up sighing and I turn on the music. I probably should've let him learn it first because he danced the feel of the dance but not the actual dance. I sigh getting up and start dancing. He watches me and dances more confidently, copying my moves. I continue to dance and didn't notice Kai stop and watch me. When I finished, I noticed everyone staring at me. "Uhh... how come I'm the one doing your dare?" I look at Kai staring at me. I wave my hand in front of his face. "Hello? You there? 종대 오빠... just open yours." He nods. He whines.

"Servant." He says sadly. 준면오빠 cheers. 경수 opens his paper and laughs.

"A pickup line contest for Juyeon."

"I'll give you a chance to think." I say without giving them a chance to protest.

"Do I have to!" Chanyeol asks.

"Yes! I need to see this!"

"Okay, I'm going first."

"좋아!" I say excitedly.

"I'm no mathematician but I've been told I'm good with numbers. Wanna give me yours to prove it?" He says embarrassed. I clap.

"Totally would NOT give you my number but nice try."

"It's fine... I don't care, I don't want to win this competition... this is the only competition I don't want to win. It's disgusting."

"I wanna go next!" Sehun raises his hand and puts it down embarrassed after everyone stares at them.

"Sure." I say. "I can't wait to see what our maknae has to say."

"Okay... I'll go." He starts to walk towards me slowly and I move back until I hit the table. He puts his hand next to my body so I couldn't move. "Baby, I'll treat you like my homework. I'll slam you on the table and do you all night." He says staring at me intensely. I try not to laugh and look at hike seriously in the eye. He gets up embarrassed and gives me space. "Did it not work?" I laugh.

"Our maknae has grown up!" I say laughing. "Also, if that's the only thing you can say in confidence, might as well just do your real homework. You gotta be confident!" I grab his wrist and get in the same position as we were when he said the pickup line. "Okay, now what's your next move?" He stays there frozen, blushing.

"주연아, don't make me do this!"

"Come on! Just follow your instructions. Slam me down..." I maneuver myself to be flat on the table and I move him on top of me so he's pinning me to the table. "And do me all night. But not me... someone else." He blushes. I stay there waiting for him to get off but he stays there. "Are you not tired? Why don't you like get off so other people have a chance and I don't end up sleeping on the table."

"Oh, sorry." He gets up. I point at him and look at him with stern eyes.

"Confidence. Who's next?" Chen, D.O., Xiumin, Kai, and Suho all try to win me with common and simple pickup lines. Baekhyun walks up to me after they finished.

"My biology teacher told me that the lips are the most sensitive part of the. Wanna try it out?" He gets close again like the last time and I assumed he would stop him but he just kept getting closer until his lips touched mine. I stand there frozen, unsure of what to do. I push him away.

"What are you doing?! (뭐하는거야!)" I say. I look over. No one say it. Chanyeol 오빠 was in rhe bathroom and the others were talking and not paying attention. Arghh...

"I asked if you wanted to try it out!" He said still pinning me to the wall.

"I didn't respond! That was my first kiss! I'd rather have it with someone I actually like. "

"You don't like me?"

"Well yeah but not like that!" He steps back a little but hurt.

"Ouch... but that's okay... it's not like I like you like that either. It was for the dare. I'm trying to win here."

"Oh..." The rest of the boys do their dares but the only thing I could think about was his 'pickup line'. I couldn't go to sleep because of it. I also avoided him for the next few weeks too. Why am I doing this? It was just for the game... nothing else, right?

Masterlist

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xxisxxisxxis · 4 years

Text

Gateway Drug | Part Forty-Seven

Table of Content or Part Forty-Six

Wattpad

Words: 2.6k

Warning(s): Explicit language, mentions of drug abuse

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"...Viv, I can't afford to bail anyone out of jail right now." Doc sighs out sleepily and I roll my jaw.

"Well, none of the guys have enough money either. We're in a bind."

"How'd you even get arrested?" He asks me and I rub my lips together.

"This douche face was being obnoxious and creepy and we had a misunderstanding." I explain.

"Misunderstanding?"

"Okay he got his ass handed to him and security called the cops." I mumble, rolling my eyes.

"Who exactly handed him his ass, Vivian?"

"...A red head..."

"Vivian Sixx--"

"--Um, Axl's locked up, too, it coulda been either one of us!" I defend myself. "If one of the guys called you from jail, you'd bail them out asap." I add.

A moment of silence passes as I pray in my mind that he agrees to something.

"Alright, Viv, alright. I'll handle it." He sighs out.

He hangs up and I put the phone back on the hook as the officer escorts me back to the holding cell Axl, Duff, Izzy, Slash, Steven and Tansy are in.

"What did he say?" Duff asks.

"He's handling it." I say to him.

"Oh, I'm sure." Axl mumbles, his head leaned back against the block wall, sunglasses covering his eyes up. "Must be nice to snap your fingers and get what you want."

"Oh, damn." Stevie says under his breath, knowing this is about to cause an argument.

Slash is busy tying the laces of his boots with Tansy's, Izzy's trying to catch a nap, and Duff is scooting over on the floor so I can sit next to him.

"I get it even faster using 'Sixx'." I don't even deny Axl's accusation and he scoffs.

"Coulda used that card to keep us from getting arrested in the first place."

"No, you could've kept us from getting arrested had you kept your temper together instead of punching the guy." I snap.

"And like you threatening the police officer helped." He shoots back at me.

"I didn't threaten him." I argue.

"You told him you'd break your foot off in his ass." Steven points out, rubbing his tired eyes.

"It was a promise, not a threat, and I wouldn't have said it if he wouldn't have been unnecessarily aggressive." I scoff.

"Yeah, well it got everyone else in trouble for being associated with us. So next time keep your fuckin' mouth shut." He states.

"There won't be a 'next time' because I refuse to be locked in a tiny space with you ever again." I roll my eyes.

There was a "next time" a couple years later.

It was my first time out since having Monroe when a paparazzi so boldly called me a "passaround" and asked me what other bassists I had "sucked and fucked."

Axl and I both went for him without realizing the other person was throwing a punch, and he got double the trouble.

We were deemed "Twin Tornados" after that because apparently were both loud, aggressive, unpredictable, and could make a mess.

Within an hour and a half, it's five in the morning, and Duff is nudging me awake.

"Hmm?" I sit up from laying against his arm.

"I think Doc's here." He tells me, nudging everyone else awake.

Within a few more minutes an officer is stepping to us, unlocking the cell.

Once we get our stuff back and go to the lobby, bitterly glare at Doc...

Nikki's leaned against the counter, leather jacket clad arms are crossed, and I can just feel his hazel eyes looking me up and down from behind his blacked out sunglasses.

I ignore him the best I can, stepping outside, only for Doc to trail behind me as Nikki and the guys make small talk as they walk out after us.

"Viv, I didn't have any other choice." Doc tells me and I turn to face him.

"Vince, Tommy...?" I ask. "They would've come and got us out. You just went to Nikki because you were pissed I inconvenienced you."

"I went to Nikki because once the two of you said 'I do', you promised to take care of each other. He wanted to come make sure you were alright. Regardless of this dumb separation you two have going on, you're still his wife."

"Dumb separation he insisted on." I point out, tears swelling in my eyes.

"Well, he's not exactly singing that song anymore." He tells me lowly and I furrow my brows.

"What?"

"Just believe me. He misses you." He mumbles.

I don't have time to question him anymore.

"Can we go home now?" Steven yawns, stretching.

"I can take you guys home." Doc offers. "Viv, you can go back with Nikki." He suggests and I raise my brow as tension collects in the air.

Everyone looks at me knowingly, waiting for me to answer.

"I can't do that." I argue, crossing my arms.

"It's been a month, Viv." Doc states, his eyes flickering to Nikki for a second.

"Which means we have two more to go." I raise my brows.

"Vivian." He says more sternly. "Stop being ridiculous."

"He wanted to get away from me for three months. He's getting what he wants, like he always does." I laugh without humor.

"You didn't really expect him to go that long with his wife--"

"--Oh, I did. He was oh so sure he wanted to be separated for that long." I cut Doc off, looking at Nikki. "I'll see you in two months. Whether it's with open arms or divorce papers, is up to you. I could give a damn at this point."

I wanted to punish him. He hurt me by making me feel like he didn't care. He didn't throw "ninety days" out there to have that much time to gather his thoughts and reflect and do better by me, he threw out that number so he could have more time to do whatever the hell he wanted to without his wife in the house.

And he did whatever and whoever the hell he wanted to do the entire time.

For years I blamed my reluctance and pettiness as the main contributor to his affair with Vanity.

After that night at the police station, I refused to come home, even when he called the apartment, fucked up and crying, repeating "I'm sorry."

Had I come home, it might have decreased their time spent together or something. At least that's how I felt for years after the actual affair took place.

I didn't realize he wasn't calling and saying "sorry" because he regretted suggesting we be apart for that long...but because he'd slept with another woman. Another woman he found himself becoming slightly emotionally connected to, and knew, almost immediately, wouldn't just be a one-night stand or a fling, but would become "the other woman."

And she would hold that position, without my knowledge, for an entire year and a half.

Of course when I found out I was angry at the both of them, but I was more angry at him.

He sought her out.

He saw her in Vanity 6's "Nasty Gal" video, called his people at the office, they contacted her people, and set up a date for them to meet. Just like that. And he wasn't even thinking of me because I wasn't even living in the house with him.

So to me, for a long time, I was just as much to blame as Nikki and Vanity.

And that doesn't even count the many times I blamed myself for his straying after staring in a mirror and comparing myself to her.

We were on the complete opposite sides of the spectrum in looks, personality, how we carried ourselves, and hobbies.

And it's not like she was Nikki's outlet to an entirely different lifestyle than he had with me.

It wasn't like he was a sober, church going, family man who kept things vanilla and just visited her when he needed a wild night of smoking crack, shooting heroin and screwing around.

He was the same person with her as he was with me.

The only reason they stayed together so long is because she never made him feel bad for fucking himself up. She encouraged it.

And that was the one thing I had over her.

Well that, and, according to Izzy, "she's a ten but the drugs make her a five. And her being batshit crazy knocks her to a solid two...on a good day. You're a ten."

He followed that up with, "don't compare yourself to a fucking crack addict when there's barely anything left of her to compare to. The only thing she can say she's got on you, is screwing your husband, and she brags about it because strung out Nikki Sixx is obviously a prize."

His sarcasm had me laughing and wiping my tears.

I was tempted to get "strung out Nikki Sixx is obviously a prize" tattooed on me, but decided not to.

The door opens and Slash and Steven come in, chuckling, as I scrub the last cup in the sink.

"Wow, it's only three in the afternoon and you're up?" I ask them.

"We took Tans to the airport." Stevie explains. "I don't know why she doesn't just move back here." He adds.

"She works out of New York." I say with a shrug.

"She's alright got Miss 1985. The hell else is there left for her to do?" He sighs, pouting a little and I rub my lips together.

"Hustler magazine called her a few days ago." I tell them and they look at each other.

"Hustler's more graphic than Playboy..." Steven points out with slight distaste.

"I think the wrong people have their feet on her neck, and there's not a damn thing any of us can do about it." I tell him, rubbing my forehead.

"Oh." He says lowly, a sad expression on his face.

I decide to change the subject.

"So." I start, sitting on the counter. "Any idea for an album yet?"

"We got plenty of songs. We're looking for a producer." Slash informs me, sitting on the couch. "Tom wants to bring in Paul Stanley."

"Ugh." I can't hide my wrinkling nose at the idea of Paul Stanley producing Guns N' Roses.

"What's wrong with that?" Steven asks me.

"I like Paul but KISS isn't Guns N' Roses. I don't think he would give you a sound that's signature to you guys' style."

"Yeah, that's what the guys think." Stevie replies, sighing out. "It's still cool we got his attention."

"Yeah, it is." I agree. "You just gotta stick to what your sound is, is all."

"Well, who produced Mötley's first big album?"

"Oh, it wa--" I stop myself abruptly after the name completely leaves my mind. I furrow my brows, knowing that I know who produced it, but I can't. "I'm not crazy. I know who produced it."

They wait for a moment.

"Did they even have a producer?" I mumble to myself. "Well then who the hell produced 'Shout at the Devil' and 'Theater of Pain'?" I ask myself, thinking harder than I should be. "You're telling me you were the only sober one around and you can't even remember who the hell was working with them?" I keep talking to myself and I can see Steven and Slash looking at each other from the corner of my eye. "I give up. I can't remember. I'm not crazy." I tell them and Stevie spins his pointer finger beside his temple to signal to Slash that I'm looney and I throw the dish towel at him, hitting him in the face, causing him to chuckle some more.

"I'm gonna go get a shower." I tell them, trying to calm my laughter spell with them as I step to the bathroom and start the shower before undressing and getting in.

I've been fine, actually getting out of bed at a reasonable time every day and cleaning up the apartment while the guys are out doing whatever. I haven't missed any doses of my medicine in a while, and that's helping my mood more than I thought it would.

I've been slowly starting to dance again. I'm not sure if Mandy is aware Duff sneaks me to her band's rehearsal space almost every other night, but what she doesn't know won't hurt her.

I still miss Nikki--and it's been two weeks since we last saw each other--but it's not a "can't breathe without you" feeling, I just miss his company, his smart-ass comments, his teasing, his laugh, his smile, his eyes, the sound of his bass as he fumbles with it to recreate a riff he thought up in his head at some point, the way he would do tiny things to help me around the house, our conversations in the dead of night about stupid things he would think up under the influence...I miss him sneaking into my bedroom window at night and the two of us trying not to wake up my parents with our laughter, I miss feeling like I never wanted to leave the apartment he shared with Vince and Tommy because I'd have to leave his bed, I miss not having the weight of the world on my shoulders, not constantly thinking "you're his wife, people are looking at you, dress like this, look like this, act like this, look happy, be sexy, fuck him good, and he won't give groupies a second glance."

I miss life before the access to excess.

I miss Nikki.

Not "Nikki Sixx of Mötley Crüe."

Just Nikki.

I'm rinsing shampoo from my hair when someone knocks at the door.

"Viv?"

Speaking of Mandy, her voice sounds from the other side of the door.

"Yeah?" I reply, hearing the door open a little.

"You've got a phone call. He says it's an emergency." She tells me. "He says it's about your husband." She adds.

I'm nearly breaking my neck to scramble out of the shower, not bothering with taking the time to wrap up in the towel, rushing past her and my heart sinks to my stomach.

"Emergency" and "Nikki" are never good in the same sentence.

Duff is holding the phone for me, mouthing "Doc" to me as I take it, trying to convince myself not to start crying before I even know what exactly is going on.

"H-Hello?" I ask into the phone, my body shaking. I don't know if it's due to anxiousness or the cold air clinging to my wet skin.

Duff's draping my shoulders with his jacket, and Mandy pulls it shut so I'm not flashing Slash or Steven, who're in front of us, sitting on the couch.

"Viv, I need you to break that fucking bullshit you have for therapy and go back home." Doc orders me.

"Why? What happened? What's wrong? Is Nikki okay?" I frantically ask one after the other.

"I don't know, I'm about to head over there and make sure." He says.

"Doc, what the hell happened? What's wrong?" I demand, getting more and more impatient.

He's quiet on the other end, hesitating for some reason, only pissing me off more and more because I feel like I'm about to have a heart attack.

"Doc!" I bark, tears rolling down my cheeks.

"His grandfather, Tom, just called me so I could pass the message on to you. He's already called Nikki." He starts, pausing as if what he's about to say is a tough thing to get out. "Nikki's grandmother has passed away, Vivian."

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