#oh look another angsty piece about shepard's post-alchera existential crisis

[laelior]

The scars are no longer there, but they still ache.

Late at night, sometimes, when the cabin lights are  off and the environmental systems are just a quiet hum against the hull. When she’s just grasping at the first strands of sleep.

That’s when she absently rubs her thumb across the ache that wells up in her left leg, or the twinge on her forehead. Simple acts that had once been habit. Only to startle to full wakefullness when her fingers encounter only smooth skin.

Phantom pains, Chakwas had called it the one time she’d brought them up. The pain felt in a limb that’s no longer there. 

But phantom pains are for what has been taken, not what has been given. A new body, one that has none of the memories she’s earned. Something perfect and smooth like she’s never, ever been. A freshly pressed uniform for a solider to step into on command.

That’s all.

Just another weapon with the serial numbers filed off.

#mass effect #beth shepard #my writing #lae writes #oh look another angsty piece about shepard's post-alchera existential crisis #first thing i've written in months naturally