#oh btw that's a marine ship on the left about to go down from haki. jsyk.

[neverwatchedonepiece]

596-597: "On the Verge of Annihilation! A Deadly Monster Comes Flying In!" and "An Intense Battle! Caesar Exercises His True Power!"

so i herd u were gonna kick my ass?

I have said this a lot lately... but what just happened?

Did Caesar just clean house?

Did he actually just systematically destroy the opposition BY HIMSELF? Luffy, Robin, Franky, Tashigi and Smoker one after the other?

Damn. I did not expect that at all. Right up until the final twist, I was convinced Luffy was going to take him and it would have been mission accomplished (then, after that, defeat Smiley and escape Punk Hazard without letting Caesar wriggle out of their clutches).

Caesar is much stronger than I thought. 

The man said it himself at the end of 597: “Don’t underestimate me.” I regret to admit that I did, Caesar. I totally did. I thought he’d live up to the usual Mad Scientist Trope Manifestation: a non-fighter who is very clever but a bit cowardly and useless when the fight turns physical.

Instead, Oda has gifted us with an Absolute Madman with more tricks up his sleeve than a pub magician.

Let’s Set That Thing Full of Poison Gas on Fire! What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

The action picked up where 595 left off. Luffy announced to the world that he would kick the Master’s ass and kidnap him!

Needless to say, this announcement did not go down well with Caesar’s centaur minions. Did that rubbery whippersnapper say he’d kick our beloved Master’s ass and kidnap him? TAKE HIM DOWN!

Once the steam from impact had cleared, Smoker also realised the Strawhats had fallen right into his lap again and gave the order to capture them. For about two seconds *everyone* was after them. And it did not phase Luffy, Franky or Robin in the slightest. While Luffy searched for Caesar, Robin and Franky dealt with the Fodders. Must say Robin and Franky have excellent Volume Fodder Clearance techniques.

There was comedy gold moment when Luffy didn’t realise he wasn’t fighting Smoker. “Hey, Smokey! Glad you’re okay. Was worried the way Law beat you up earlier. What’s up, though? Do you have a stomachache? Are you constipated? Why are you weaker all of a sudden? And you sound weird today.”

Smoker came charging up, all like, “Come on, Tashigi! Don’t get your ass kicked by Strawhat!” And suddenly this glasses girl whose name Luffy could not remember was much stronger all of a sudden! Hmmm... what was her name?

Smoker yelled, “IT’S ME. I AM SMOKER!” And Luffy fell about laughing when the penny finally dropped that they’d been shambled by Law. Luffy said there was no point fighting when they were not at full strength. (Luffy’s a good guy, really. If he was a terrible person, he could’ve just kicked their asses and walked. But he gave them a literal fighting chance.)

Just as Franky got fed up clearing Fodder and was about to melt a huge hole in Caesar’s front door, something large and pink flew through the sky towards them.

Awww... I thought. Smiley has come home to see Caesar. Isn’t that cute? It landed and oozed over Caesar’s ship. Smoker just stood there and looked at it, like, wtf am I looking at here?

Oda used the Fodders who had clambered on board to reveal some of Smiley’s tricks. If you try to shoot it, Smiley releases toxic gas, and all the little Smileys that break off reconverge into one bigger Smiley. A dumb Fodder tried to push it into the river, got stuck in Smiley and ended up with all over poison burns. The biggest idiot decided that burning Smiley would work.

Just think about that for a second because Fodder guy didn’t.

He thought that setting fire to a substance filled with poison gas would be a good idea.

What happened?

Yes, the Inevitable

R.I.P., dumb Fodder Marines. We hardly knew ye. The large kaboom you made was beautiful, though.

There was a quiet moment of misplaced optimism when a fodder centaur said, “Hey, at least it’s gone, right?”

Nope. Turns out that Smiley was only a fragment of Original Smiley who is firing out tiny blobs of itself from the lake where Zoro, Sanji, Brook and Samurai are. 

Why was Smiley doing that?

We were about to find out, as a familiar cackle from above announced Caesar’s arrival.

He’d been standing on the roof all along, watching the carnage unfold. How could he resist recording the results of his creation’s rampage?

“Good boy, Smiley!” he cried. “I’m sorry I locked you up for three years!” (No you’re not, Caesar. Let’s not pretend.)

Smoker and Luffy both had an “Aha, it’s you!” moment. “You’re Caesar Clown, aren’t you?” “Are you the Master?”

Like all Mad Scientists, Caesar has an ego the size of Laboon.

“Yes, indeed! Everyone from the Strawhat Pirates and the Marine G-5, behold the greatest scientist in the world: Master Caesar Clown!” 

He told them to wait a few moments for Smiley, as he is weak to water and is flinging himself over piece by piece to cross the lake. Apparently, when all his pieces reconverge on this side of the island, everyone is up shit creek because Smiley is capable of recreating the chemical explosion that levelled Punk Hazard four years ago.

“You will all experience it! A world of death in which no one can survive. And you will learn just how powerful my weapon is. It can destroy an entire island! And the greatness of the world’s best scientist who created that weapon? It’s me, MASTER CAESAR---”

Yeah.... Caesar did not get to finish that sentence.

That is because two rubbery hands appeared, grabbed him round the waist and the next thing he knew, a smiling face was propelled towards him at speed.

WTF, Human Contact? IN MY LABORATORY??

Caesar’s reaction when Luffy attacked him with an aggressive kidnap hug was freaking glorious. He was all, “Ew ew ew, get it off me, what is this thing?” xD 

Franky was impressed at how easily Luffy could grab a Logia user with his newly honed haki. He was convinced Luffy would walk the fight, kick Caesar’s ass and it would be job done! Robin was not convinced it would be that easy. After the easy ride through Fishman Island, I figured Luffy would dispatch this highly-strung scientist with ease. Maybe a bit of peril. Then they’d pack up Caesar, figure out how to destroy Smiley and GTFO off the island with the kids and the stolen drug research in tow. [Note to self: always listen to Robin. She is always right.]

I loved this fight so much I watched it back again. Even though the tables turned a few times, I was still so sure I knew where it was going.

Caesar decided to get rid of the rubbery menace clinging to him by turning to gas. Luffy countered with an armoured headbutt, which was dodged. Caesar used his Gas Robe move, which envelops a victim in poison gas. They can last as long as they can hold their breath. 

Caesar totally hammed it up. He finds such glee watching people suffer. (I bet he was one of those kids at school who even the bullies wouldn’t touch.) “How long can you hold your breath, Strawhat? Just breathe deeply and drop dead! I have discovered the deadliest gas. Now, suffer and die! I have a front row seat.”

But now I know what you guys hinted at when I asked how Luffy would deal with the poison. Instead of dying from poison inhalation, Luffy snorted up every particle of gas and let it harmlessly steam out his ears. After his big fight with Magellan, poisons no longer work against Luffy. Nice one! Thanks, Magellan, you absolute diamond.

Caesar’s ego seethed to the surface after being outwitted. “Magellan? That venomous fool from Impel Down? I’m not like that pathetic paramecia eater!” (Caesar is such a fruit snob. I bet he’s a wine snob too.)

But Luffy wasn’t listening. He’d already wound up a move and - SLAM! - smacked Caesar right in the chops.

Here’s Caesar Suffering More Human Contact

Ooooooooh, Caesar was mad. After he hit the ground like a sack of spuds, he struggled to his feet and the mask came off.

“Stay out of it, weaklings!” he snarled at his minions. (Who were like, “Did our beloved Master and Saviour just call us weaklings? Did we hear that right?”)

And I have to say Caesar does not mess about when he wants rid of someone. When Luffy leapt at him, the Absolute Madman said, “BRING IT!” and whipped out one of his best moves. That Gastanet explosion was awesome. He also did not give Luffy a second to recover. Those Smilies? Yeah, he ordered them to cling to Luffy, whereupon Caesar used them to cause an even bigger boom.

He Likes Big Booms and He Cannot Lie...

Ahhhhhh... this was the peril I missed from Fishman Island, I thought at the time. Caesar had surprised me by not being a total pushover. I mean, of course Luffy would still win, but Caesar was doing pretty damned well.

His minions surrounded him, cheering for him, “Master! Master!” feeding his enormous ego. Strawhat was never strong enough to fight Master in the first place! Caesar, convinced Luffy was down, indulged in a spot of Mad Scientist gloating. “I am the greatest scientist in the world: eater of the Gas Gas Fruit. You didn’t know who you were messing with!”

Then Luffy dusted himself off and said, “OH, THAT WAS CLOSE!” and jet-stamp kicked Caesar right square in the ass. I cheered! Sure this time? (Technically Luffy did fulfil half his goal. He literally kicked Caesar’s ass there, right?)

Caesar was slumped in a bundle of massive coat and jumpsuit (btw, I only just noticed this episode that Caesar is wearing a sartorially interesting jumpsuit. I wonder what possessed him to go shopping, pause by a rack and declare, “Yes. This is the one for me.”) Luffy grabbed him by the lapels and asked Franky if there was anything he could put Caesar in, as he was a Logia and he didn’t want him escaping.

Then Oda threw his curveball.

Remember that Knife-Wielding Tentacle No One Could Turn Off? Caesar Has That Same Energy

I really liked how Toei played this scene. As Luffy was looking around for a barrel, cheerful in his victory, the music suddenly cut out. Then Luffy’s eyes went wide. His hands flew to his throat. He began to choke. His grip on Caesar’s lapels loosened. Violin harmonics kicked in. All Luffy could see was a dark, swimming, nasty red and an image of Caesar, who I could tell was beyond fury because his voice was barely raised above a whisper.

“Ahhhhhhhh, you shouldn’t underestimate me.”

Then Luffy folded like an old glove.

My jaw dropped. Had Caesar just done that? How???

Franky and Robin rushed to help. Franky tried to fry Caesar with a radical beam, but Caesar just turned to gas and disappeared. The next thing, Robin was down. Franky followed. Bam, bam, bam, Caesar was taking them all out one by one!

Smoker realised this was going Very Badly Wrong, tried to order the remnants of his crew to GTFO. But Caesar wasn’t having it. He was obviously done playing.

Tashigi was next to fall. Smoker was the only one left. He whirled round, Caesar’s mocking laugh whispering into his ears. But it was no good. Whatever trick Caesar pulled was too strong. He passed out and Caesar was left standing there, holding Smoker by the arm, victorious among a pile of unconscious bodies.

He just freaking blitzed almost the entire arc cast! By himself!

What the hell? Have I been wrong about Caesar and he is in actual fact pretty strong? I suppose he is their first opponent in the New World. He can’t be a total scrub. Still, that was a proper pasting he gave the Strawhats *and* Smoker’s crew.

And that’s not all. Caesar has pulled a few more dirty tricks by the looks of things, as Law ain’t doing too well, either.

In Other News...

While Caesar was battling with Luffy on his front lawn, Law had sneaked round the back with Chopper. The plan was to distract Caesar and Monet, lead them into another room while Chopper stole a sample, or whatever.

It didn’t quite work out that way. Only Monet was indoors. When Law asked where Caesar was, Monet said, “He’s such a hideous person he’s probably gone out to watch the carnage.” (True.) Law must’ve thought, “Yeah, Caesar would do that,” and decided to put his plan into action.

He convinced Monet to follow him through to another room to give Chopper space, but halfway there, he collapsed in a corridor.

I was like, “Wait... why is Law clutching at his chest? What happened? Why don’t I understand a single thing that is going on? Why do I love this so much??”

Then a white-suited, pale-shoed guy walked up and told Law it had been years and that Law had grown up a lot.

PLOT TWIST: A NEW SHADY CHARACTER ENTERS.

Can’t even begin to speculate who it is, so I’ll just have to be patient and wait.

Chopper may be the Alliance’s Last Hope (Sorry, Obi-Wan. You can sit this one out.)

Unless Sanji finds the samurai’s torso in that damned lake and they finally regroup with Nami and Usopp to rescue Luffy and the others.

But my money’s on Chopper.

Why?

Because Chopper.

This aggressive kidnap hug is probably the most human contact Caesar’s ever had that didn’t involve scalpels.

#one piece #neverwatchedonepiece #nwop #never watched one piece #caesar clown #trafalgar law #monkey d. luffy #nico robin #franky #tony tony chopper #roronoa zoro #sanji #brook #foxfire kinemon #monet #smiley #vice admiral smoker #captain tashigi #white suit pale shoes