#oh asdfg it's been a WHILE i forgot how fun this was

[books-and-dragons]

Ik it's been awhile since I have dropped a HC on you, but consider: Akira doing some unnecessarily dangerous stunt in the Metaverse and feeling so proud of himself... and then he's shocked when the team gets angry/worried that he risked his own safety like that.

"Guys, it's fine, only I would have gotten hurt!"

And then they just get even angrier and he's confused and startled they're so worked up about it. He's not used to people worrying about him.

omg june, hi!!! aaa i yelled when i saw your user pop up, hope you're doing well!!

your brainworms are angsty as ever and oh how i love it

i'm such a believer in the akira-is-passively-reckless-about-his-own-life concept, you'll have to rip it from my cold, dead hands

considering the in-game clues we get about how he's not great about keeping himself well-fed and has an automatic tendency to throw himself aside for the sake of other people's safety, akira's probably got a huge lack of self preservation to add to that (maybe even, a complete lack of care for his own wellbeing) (i'm absolutely blaming his home life for this)

which works well enough for someone in a leadership position, he'd make sacrifices for others very easily and yeah!! he's just so used to not putting himself into consideration- he doesn't even think about his own safety. nobody else ever has, so why should he?

it trickles into everything he does. the last healing item goes to a teammate, whatever funds he makes from part-time jobs goes into the phantom thieves (nevermind that he's living on sojiro's patronage curry and instant noodles, that's unimportant, he's unimportant), he offers unconditional support and a listening ear to every confidant he meets, and helps them with all their problems- even if it is to his own detriment. on the battlefield against a new enemy, joker will do his best to find the weakness- because if they repel anything, at least then he carries the brunt of the backlash. it's natural, instinctive, and therefore he sees no wrong in it.

and for a long time, he gets away with this reckless abandon for his own safety.

except he goes a step too far, maybe he decides to distract another hoard of shadows on his own? or makes what should be an impossible zipline move to cross to the other side of a chasm. against a rampaging enemy, he throws himself in the firing line. after months of excusing the passing recklessness, this is a step too far for the phantom thieves.

when they're reunited with joker, he's not greeted by praise for his dramatic flourish, or impressed and spirited cheers for carving a path deeper into the palace, but instead worried frowns and scolding reprimands. flurries of hands which search for his injuries and want to heal, and he doesn't need it he's fine-

and oh you're so right it would hurt so much because akira would be so confused by their concern!! at first, he probably assumes they're talking about anything but him. did he accidentally break a treasure on his landing? for some reason, had the thieves not wanted that shadow hurt? what was it this time, what had he done wrong- because he had to have done something wrong he always does something wrong, eventually

when it gets through to akira that no, they're worried about his safety the boy blue-screens there and then.

it's not something he's ever been used to- care, affection....attention. nobody's cared enough to look close enough before, and suddenly akira doesn't know what to do with this worry, with this obvious sign that people care about him, that someone values akira kurusu....he's in a bit of a fugue as the diarahan washes over him, so much do he can't even scold what he'd deem an unnecessary use of energy

they call it a day in the palace not long after.

learning to value your own life isn't something that's easy, but akira's surrounded by people who care about him now- they can be patient. this time, they're taking the lead to help akira, not the other way around.

maybe makoto challenges him to find a more safe plan, that doesn't involve reckless action. ryuji helps him be more open about his feelings. ann teaches akira how to appreciate himself. futaba shows him how to trust in what people promise. yusuke guides him through self-appreciation in his own, artistic style. haru helps akira define himself, outside of the parameters his parents set for him. morgana stays at his side through it all.

in their own way, they'll help akira find some self-worth, and hope to see the fruits of their labour in akira guarding a bit more often in battle, turning to his teammates instead of charging in headfirst and bearing the weight of shadows' attentions himself. they'll wait patiently for the day he asks for help, and be proud when he does.

for now, they'll accept the occasional willingness to head back to a saferoom, or retreat from battle. they'll mentally cheer when he uses one of their few healing items to patch a gash in his side. it's all about the small steps.

#ask #JuneLuxray #june this is a love letter (tag) to your brain nobody in the p5 fandom is safe from your Ideas and Words and i love it #p5 #persona 5 #p5 royal #akira kurusu #akira kurusu headcanons #oh asdfg it's been a WHILE i forgot how fun this was #oh no oh nooooo i got so out of control in my words here i didn't realise and i just loved this concept too much #i'm weak for this idea and unapologetic about it #this hc of yours is canon to ME #would love akira to have some self preservation some day #sadly that might make him ooc #but imagine #someday #we can dream