#office jalter

[readyplayerziggy]

“Damn bitch. You work like this?”

Cue Altria leaning over Jalter’s shoulder, watching them play league instead of completing the budget for the upcoming fiscal quarter.

Filling out the remaining space (not that there was much to begin given it with cluttered with Jalter’s anime collection) in the cubicle with her hips and aggressively sipping from the mug in their hands directly in Jalter’s ear.

“I’m almost tempted to keep these doughnuts I got in celebration since you were working so dutifully these past few weeks… Look like I was sorely mistaken.”

"Shut the fuck up and beat it lard tits! I'm almost in the victory lane!" She hissed out in a near stage whisper that was barely drowned out by the normal din of ringing phones or burps from another cubicle. 'Thank god that luco luchador had the extra spicy wings today.'

She had the swears of her teammates in one earbud and the other free of that to let herself hear anyone coming close, a task she had failed in given how the asstastic Altria was able to sneak up on her despite clapping more than a college graduation audience.

She had been doing decently in spite of her view being skewed due to her stomach propping up her desk, having a 12/19/20 KDA with the match nearly over.

"Almost there, almost there. Will you shut up and leave already ya cow?! You're throwing me off my game here!"

*SLICE*

With her momentary lapse in concentration, she had gotten ganked and just like that, her two-kill streak was gone and with the rest of the team on respawn, so were their chances at winning. With a loud groan into her hands, she plucked her earbud out so she wouldn't have to listen to the group she'd been stuck with calling her all sorts of shit.

"Thanks for nothing. Now what the hell was this I heard about doughnuts?"

#muse: jalter #pudgy-planets #I know nothing about league so I am not gonna describe it #office jalter

[lilyblackdrawside]

Ranking Arknights cats. I'm only taking corporeal cats, with two exceptions.

No. 01 Ms. Christine

I have a contractual obligation to rank her highest. Also she’s a talking cat.

No. 02 Mousse

If Ms. Christine didn’t have her very compelling arguments, then all of Mousse would be number one. Would definitely get my hand scratched up going after that fluffy belly. The one bottom left gives me bad vibes though.

No. 03 Rosmontis

Stalwart, stoic, majestic. Very pretty cat. I always enjoy looking at this one. Not necessarily outstanding, but entirely well-rounded with a strong stance.

No. 04 Mint

These cats look like they’ll ask me incomprehensible questions. The two on the sides are especially good.

No. 05 Skyfire & Blaze

These cats are on fire. Skyfire’s might also be rocks. Lava, ya know. You’d have to borrow Vulcan’s forging gloves to pet these. Blaze’s has a more docile pose than you’d expect, whereas Skyfire’s is very active. Might be fleeing to cover from the sprinkler system turning on in her presence. Again.

No. 06 Delphine

Aww mom's carrying her kitten!!!! Simply adorable, and look at how elegant she is. That eyepatch gives her a strong hint of danger and she's got such poise- This was supposed to be about Delphine, not her mom? Well, yeah kitty's cute I guess.

No. 07 Santalla

Dear Lord, look at the size of this beast! When I first looked at Santalla I thought she was a snow fox, but she's a foxy cat. With such a companion, surely it's easy to stay warm in the snowfields.

No. 08 Stainless

Look at the eepy! Very cute and very sneaky. Won’t stand out on first sight, which aids its sleeping efforts.

No. 09 Indra

What did this cat do. This cat did something, look at the face. I’ll go into my office and something will be knocked over and/or misplaced.

No. 10 Jessica

This is the most cat-like cat among these. Just a cat, happens to be here. Baseline. Looks like my hand would sink deeper into its fur than it should.

No. 11 Jalter

She's borrowed Rockrocks anxiety cat! The one in the shadows can be hard to spot, I sure overlooked it at first. I suppose they represent her two sides. She's always putting up a brave front, but still has a shaky heart. In the shadows lurks the true bravery she shows in the face of danger.

No. 12 Vendela

I do like the heatmap cats, but you can't beat Mint in that regard. The rose is a nice touch, very flirtatious.

No. 13 Heidi

Where Jessicat looks like my hand would sink into its fur, I’m pretty sure this one would take my whole arm.

No. 14 Pramanix

This cat doesn’t look happy to be here. Like it’d prefer being at home doing nothing at this moment. Well, it is Pramanix after all.

No. 15 Quercus

Or so I’ve heard.

No. 16 Morgan

I like that she has her leopards dress up in the same mesh shirts that she wears, it's good coordination.

No. 17 Dagda

Look at the muscles on this beast. Geez.

No. 18 Rockrock

This cat is doing its best to get away. It is so worried! No clue why, not like there are any exploding drones around.

No. 19 Melantha

This cat has very little presence. I recognize that a cat is here, but beyond that there’s nothing.

No. 20 Kazemaru, Harmonie & Goldenglow

There’s something wrong with these cats.

#arknights

[fate--incorrect-quotes]

Jalter: Officer I was not resisting arrest I was just being a Tsundere

#jalter #fgo #fgo incorrect quotes #fgo fate grand order

[toskarin]

jalter absolutely does the jim office smile at the camera

[femmeslash]

got my new jalter nendo today

she was supposed to be delivered earlier in the week but the post office decided she was an "adult item (21+)" and needed me to come physically get her and sign for her as if i was bailing her out of jail

worth it

[bagged-a-bazooka]

Congrats on the stable employment. Hope for the best dude.

You know it’s funny, I went into my new job with my office and salaried pay, and my first thought was “I wonder if Jalter would have listened to Snoop Dogg” and the more things change, the more things stay the same

#but thank you! #drpsyche

[pugsbone]

Mood

Muses: Endeavor, Muscular, Taiyang, Roman, Helltaker, Roadhog, Gudao, Ganondorf, Krillin, Bowser, Captain Falcon.

Kinks:  Collaring, exhibitionism, hypnosis, impregnation, pet play, submission, brides, betrayal, pregnancy, swimsuits, humiliation, groping, Office play, threesomes, fluff, domesticity, hot springs, bunnysuits, blindfolds, rough sex, recordings.

Hungry for: Rei Todoroki, Fuyumi, Burnin, Inko, Mitsuki, Miruko, Cinder, Vernal, Neo, Emerald, Weiss, Kali, Coco Adel, Tracer, DVA, Mercy, Mash, Jalter, Musashi, Mordred, 18, Bulma, Maron, Caulifa, Rosalina, Peach, Samus, Palutena, Min-Min, Pyra, Mythra.

[wyrmmaster]

Jeanne is sitting with Dr. Roman in his office in Chaldea, she had Medb donate one of her lounging sofas. The two of them are ardently trying to ignore the smell. Jeanne thinks she might burn her armor after, even if she can’t get diseases as a Servant.

Roman: So, why are we here?

Jeanne: I.... see dead people.

R: I mean, you’re all dead as serv-

J: ACTUAL DEAD PEOPLE, ROMAN.

They wait for the echoes to die down.

J, wincing: Sorry, shouting was mean.

R: No, go ahead. Dead people?

J: They keep telling me to do things.

R: Things?

J: Really, really stupid things. Margaret always wants me to-

R: Margaret?

J: Yes, Saint Margaret. She keeps telling me to put -

There’s a loud, somehow petulant-sounding bang on the door.

Jalter: I KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE. YOU AREN’T SUPPOSED TO BE IN THERE, YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE SEWING ME A NEW MR TURTLE.

R, whispering: .... what happened to Mr Turtle?

Je: Michael told me to feed Fafnir ghost peppers. He destroyed her whole collection.

R, horrified: Even Purple Buttons- wait, Michael?

Je: Yes, Archangel Michael. and yes, even Purple Buttons the dinosaur.

Ja: I CAN HEAR YOU BOTH. WHY ARE YOU HIDING? WHY DO YOU HATE ME? I JUST WANT MY FRIENDS BACK!

They hear a muffled thump, and sobbing. Both proceed to ignore it.

Je: So, about the voices-

R: You’re being possessed by.... angels?

Je: Techncially an Angel and Two saints. Margaret has a vore fetish. Cathertine hates wheels, Michael’s a fucking idiot- YES, MICHAEL, I SAID IT. NO, I WILL NOT TRY BLACK PEPPER BETWEEN MY THIGHS. THERE AREN’T EVEN ANY WHEELS IN HERE, CATHERINE. NO WHEELS.

Jeanne continues to argue with with air, Jalter’s sobbing has intensified. A distant roar can be heard as Fafnir breathes fire, Arturia can heard yelling at Mordred for feeding him ghost peppers. Gilles is summoning hordes of eldritch horrors because his daughter is crying. Alarms are sounding. The sprinklers go off.

R: ..... I hate this job.

[readyplayerziggy]

Alternate jobs for the Fast Food Crew.

Samus: Daycare worker/Idol Singer during the night.

Jalter: Office Worker

Makima: Nurse

Trillian: Physics Professor

Carmilla: Dog breeder

#fast food au #temp muse: samus #muse: jalter #temp muse: makima #muse: wft #muse: carmilla #just a thought

[readyplayerziggy]

Now I'm thinking of office fats again. As well as the images of office worker Jalter.

#mun is speaking

[readyplayerziggy]

Well I've completely forgotten all the stuff I was gonna do/write today cause of my freakout earlier so just...send my muses some asks I suppose. I'll see if I can salvage some of my earlier ideas from the office fire that is my brain.

Mood is DX, Lisa, Jalter, Gudako, Sindel, and Merlin.

#mun is speaking