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philthevaliant-stuff · 6 years

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Steven Universe So Far: One Sentence Summaries For Each Episode! [The Way I Saw It At Least] (Post-April and Pre-May Episodes Edition)

Thankfully, my Crohn’s flare-up hasn’t truly stopped me from updating the one-sentence summary episode guide to Steven Universe before next week! But it’s gotten so long that I’ve had to put a ‘Read More’ link to save your dashboard from overloading! :P

Gem Glow: His first episode. Laser Light Cannon: Amethyst loves being used as ammo. Cheeseburger Backpack: Now available to buy online! Together Breakfast: His first Memetic Mutation. Frybo: Steven defies Broadcast Standards and Practices. Cat Fingers: WOMP WOMP. Bubble Buddies: A ship sails. Serious Steven: Strawberry Fields Forever. Tiger Millionaire: Better than John Cena, that’s for sure. Steven’s Lion: A companionship is formed. Arcade Mania: Meat Beat Mania too much for the UK, apparently. Giant Woman: His first encounter with a fusion. So Many Birthdays: In which Rebecca Sugar reveals her diabolical plan to make everyone watching cry their eyes out for the first time. Lars and the Cool Kids: Whatever you do, DON’T insult Steven’s mum! Onion Trade: In which everyone begins making theories about Onion being the actual Big Bad of the franchise. Steven the Sword Fighter: “Where there’s life, there’s…..” Lion 2: The Movie: Lion is a well-behaved movie patron. Beach Party: Garnet fails at telling lies. Rose’s Room: Nightmare fuel comes as standard. Coach Steven: The song will never get out of your head. Joking Victim: His first work experience session. Steven and the Stevens: Steven makes the Time Lords cry. Monster Buddies: Sponsored by CHAAAAPS potato crisps. An Indirect Kiss: The ship travels at a fine lick. Mirror Gem: Where the franchise changes course and becomes a drama. Ocean Gem: His first close encounter with other Gems. House Guest: Healing spit, we hardly knew ye. Space Race: Ground control to Major Tom, your circuits’ dead, there’s something wrong. Secret Team: Sssh, Secret Team! Island Adventure: Makes the Steven/Connie ship look like a raft. Keep Beach City Weird: At least we got to talk with Ronaldo afterwards, even though he wasn’t prepared for it in hindsight. Fusion Cuisine: Steven gets into the biggest amount of trouble yet. Garnet’s Universe: Estelle works that microphone for ten minutes. Watermelon Steven: His first business deal. Lion 3: Straight to Video: Pass the tissues. Warp Tour: The Dorito debuts. Alone Together: The ship reaches maximum speed. The Test: Time to cry your eyes out again, fans! Future Vision: Wild Beedrill appeared! On the Run: Amethyst makes the Crystal Gems guilty and the fanbase cry. Horror Club: Or ‘Do You Want Fries With That Doughnut?’ Winter Forecast: The ship gains an icebreaker. Maximum Capacity: Amethyst unintentionally causes controversy. Marble Madness: The Dorito debates with Steven. Rose’s Scabbard: You can fit any piece of music with the final scene. Open Book: Cartoon Network buggers up continuity and Rose’s Room makes the situation worse. Shirt Club: Steven gets away with referencing the Kennedy assassination. Story for Steven: His origin story. The Message: Steven inspires a Youtube musician. Political Power: MAY-OR DEW-EY! Say Uncle: Uncle Grandpa tries to inject one last bout of comedy into the show before it all goes down, only to divide the fanbase in his attempt. The Return: “It’s the end, but the moment has been prepared for…” Jail Break: His final stand.

Full Disclosure: The ship steers through jagged rocks. Joy Ride: The Dorito’s driving vehicle is discovered. Love Letters: A mailman wishes to become Garnet’s American Boy. Reformed: “Physician, heal thyself.” Sworn to the Sword: The ship gets equipped. Rising Tides, Crashing Skies: Or ‘Keep Beach City Weird: The Animated Series’. Keeping it Together: The Dorito disturbs Garnet. We Need to Talk: Pearl’s salty 90s period. Chille Tid: So disturbing a Hiatus had to be reinstated. We Are the Crystal Gems [1/6]: The National Anthem of Steven Universe Lovers. What Are Gems? [2/6]: In which Steven becomes even more cuter in chibi form. How Are Gems Made? [3/6]: Amethyst debunks dozens of fan theories in one lecture. Fusion [4/6]: "The Answer" in ballet form. Unboxing [5/6]: His first TubeTube video. Lion Loves to Fit in a Box [6/6]: Beach City gets hit by the cat video bug. Cry for Help: The Dorito distributes dissension in the ranks….or does she? Keystone Motel: A handy guide to understanding an autistic person’s mindset, so I discovered. Onion Friend: In which everyone begins making MORE theories about Onion being the actual Big Bad of the franchise. Historical Friction: Jamie provides the fanbase with ideas on how to make an “Ember Island Players” version of the show. Friend Ship: The Dorito dislikes dusty old Gem tech. Nightmare Hospital: The ship’s secrets are brought to light. Sadie’s Song: Steven becomes increasingly popular on Tumblr for a week, and makes Cartoon Network history at the same time. Catch and Release: The Dorito comes out of her chip-based shell. When it Rains: Peridot panics over precarious precipitation. Back to the Barn: Peridot and Pearl pettifog, pummel, and pacify. Too Far: Peridot practically plows predicaments into a Hiatus. The Answer: Ruby, Sapphire, and Garnet's origin stories. Steven's Birthday: The ship departs after refueling [OR: The reason Steven had his own week-long event]. It Could've Been Great: The Turning Point of Steven Quartz Universe. Message Received: Steven rocks the hoodie look. Log Date 7 15 2: Peridot's player gets pawned and perused.

Super Watermelon Island: In which Cartoon Network UK cocks up big time and completely spoils the episode for everyone else. Gem Drill: Our cinnamon roll journeys to the center of the Earth. Same Old World: Steven can show you the world...! Barn Mates: I always wear a leak on St. David's Day! Hit the Diamond: Romance in the Outfield. Steven Floats: It does exactly what it says on the tin. Drop Beat Dad: Such an important event, even the Crewniverse had to check it out! Mr. Greg: His first musical [OR: Pearl's salty-tearful reconciliation]. Too Short to Ride: If you know where to look, you can actually Cheep Peridot right now! The New Lars: Matthew Moy makes up for lost time. Beach City Drift: The ship gains the ability to run on land [OR: Ronaldo auditions for Top Gear]. Restaurant Wars: Ronaldo is finally accepted by (a vast majority of) the fanbase. Kiki's Pizza Delivery Service: Steven uses up his pun quota for the season. Monster Reunion: Leaked from the servers, still sponsored by CHAAAAPS potato crisps. Alone at Sea: No fish were harmed during the making of this episode. Greg the Babysitter: "Meh." Gem Hunt: The ship survives the wilderness. Crack the Whip: "Stop, you're making me giddy...!" Steven vs. Amethyst: Pearl makes good use of traditional seaside shops. Bismuth, Part 1: Rainbow is the new Gem. [OR: His 100th episode!] Bismuth, Part 2: Vengeance is an old vice. Beta: Bow ties are cool! Earthlings: Two heads are better than one, but all bets are off when you and your co-worker's jobs are to protect episodes from being leaked. Back to the Moon: On the moon, no one can hear a thousand Tumblr moms scream. Bubbled: In space, no one can hear a thousand Tumblr moms cry.

Kindergarten Kid: Corruptius Geminius vs. Doritus Clodius Know Your Fusion: Smoky Quartz and Sardonyx take over the Network from the Titans for 11 minutes. Buddy's Book: Jamie's fledgling theatrical career begins to pay off. Mindful Education: Two months' worth of summer adventures finally take their toll on the ship. Future Boy Zoltron: Featuring Neil Gaiman in a role you won't see coming! Last One Out of Beach City: Pearl attempts to roleplay a popular AU version of herself. [OR: Pearl's salty night out] Onion Gang: We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun, but the wine and the song, like the seasons, have all gone. Cooking With Lion [1/5]: "But, Your Honor, he stole my act!" - Francis Gem Karaoke [2/5]: All singing, no crying. Steven Reacts [3/5]: Even Steven can't stand Hiatuses! Video Chat [4/5]: Skype Chats Between Gems. Steven Song Time [5/5]: Or "Summer of Steven: Epilogue" Gem Harvest, Part 1: Steven ditches his Knife for a common or garden Trowel. Gem Harvest, Part 2: Steven and Lapis take to the air and some Steventhusiasts take to petitioning Mr. Enter for an Animated Atrocity entry. Three Gems & a Baby: Peace and goodwill to all Steventhusiasts, and love for the cinnamon roll... Steven's Dream: Three days into 2017 and the entire Stevenbomb gets leaked - that's gotta be a record! Adventures in Light Distortion: The Shorty Squad gets two new members. Gem Heist: Steven is obviously a Mysterious Cities of Gold fan. The Zoo: Ronaldo's not so stupid now, is he, Steventhusiasts!? That Will Be All: Blue and Yellow make Green melodies. The New Crystal Gems: Connie helps to promote the second wave of Funko Pop vinyl figures. Storm in the Room: "Why don't you ask her yourself?" Rocknaldo: In which it's beddy-bye-bo's time for (a vast majority of) Ronaldo's fanbase. Tiger Philanthropist: Tiger Millionaire raises his fists, Purple Puma raises the roof, and Lars raises up a stink! Room for Ruby: Lapis and Peridot regret not watching "The Wrong Trousers" the night before. Lion 4: Alternate Ending: This episode not being leaked in the first place is the actual alternate ending! Doug Out: In which the thoughts of a Super Mario/Steven Universe crossover game that never will be make this blogger cry to sleep. The Good Lars: Jenny plays a mean melodia. Are You My Dad?: We love our bread, we love our butter, but most of all we love each other! I Am My Mom: There's nothing I could do, a total eclipse of the heart.

Stuck Together: Forever's gonna start tonight. The Trial: TEAR DOWN THE WALL!!! Off Colors: Every now and then Lars gets a little bit tired of listening to the sound of his tears. Lars' Head: Every now and then we get a little bit terrified of Hiatuses, and then we see the look in the show's eyes! Dewey Wins: As the ship sinks, Steven learns the definition of the word 'Repercussion'. [OR: Not actually a repeat of 'Off Colors' this time!] Raising the Barn: Onion sets his stakes high by cornering the agricultural market. Gemcation: Steven projects his angst, Pearl projects her hatred of reptiles, and Ronaldo projects his voice. Back to the Kindergarten: The Shorty Squad get their Ground Force on! Sadie Killer: Steven is a bad, bad boy, apparently. Kevin Party: Rebecca Sugar finds some inspiration for her next story meeting, but can the ship be salvaged in time? [OR: I don't care what you say, Steven doesn't look anything like that boy from Aberdale!] Steven's Secret Rap Career: His first official/unofficial fan video. [OR: The franchise transcends cultdom, thanks to MKatwood.] Lars of the Stars: In which the next Gem to debut has a little Chaos in her. [OR: As 2018 gets under way, the fans petition for a Captain Lars miniseries.] Jungle Moon: Stevonnie gets caught on the crossfire of childhood and stardom. Your Mother and Mine: Garnet wipes out the canonicity of every Steventhusiast's theories and fan media in a matter of minutes. The Big Show: Pearl misses an opportunity to visit Empire City with Steven. Pool Hopping: Square Mom spends some quality time with her favourite cinnamon roll. Letters to Lars: It may be all change, but the next batch of episodes will still be released the good ol' fashioned Stevenbomb way!

#steven universe #all in good jest i assure you #look how far we've come

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philthevaliant-stuff · 6 years

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Steven Universe So Far: One Sentence Summaries For Each Episode! [The Way I Saw It At Least] (End of 2017 Edition)

Thanks to the episodes premiering on the App, I had to wait until all the episodes had premiered on TV to release this update. Enjoy!

#steven universe #su spoilers #all in good jest i assure you #steven's secret rap career has had cartoon network's blessing so i'm including it in the list

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philthevaliant-stuff · 7 years

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Steven Universe So Far: One Sentence Summaries For Each Episode! [The Way I Saw It At Least] (Post Stevenbombs 5 & 6 Edition)

Kindergarten Kid: Corruptius Geminius vs. Doritus Clodius Know Your Fusion: Smoky Quartz and Sardonyx take over the Network from the Titans for 11 minutes. Buddy's Book: Jamie's fledgling theatrical career begins to pay off. Mindful Education: Two months' worth of summer adventures finally take their toll on the ship. Future Boy Zoltron: "Time to make history." Last One Out of Beach City: Pearl attempts to roleplay a popular AU version of herself. [OR: Pearl's salty night out] Onion Gang: We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun, but the wine and the song, like the seasons, have all gone. Cooking With Lion [1/5]: "But, Your Honor, he stole my act!" - Francis Gem Karaoke [2/5]: All singing, no crying. Steven Reacts [3/5]: Even Steven can't stand Hiatuses! Video Chat [4/5]: Skype Chats Between Gems. Steven Song Time [5/5]: Or "Summer of Steven: Epilogue" Gem Harvest, Part 1: Steven ditches his Knife for a common or garden Trowel. Gem Harvest, Part 2: Steven and Lapis take to the air and some Steventhusiasts take to petitioning Mr. Enter for an Animated Atrocity entry. Three Gems & a Baby: Peace and goodwill to all Steventhusiasts, and love for the cinnamon roll... Steven's Dream: Three days into 2017 and the entire Stevenbomb gets leaked - that's gotta be a record! Adventures in Light Distortion: The Shorty Squad gets two new members. Gem Heist: Steven is obviously a Mysterious Cities of Gold fan. The Zoo: Ronaldo's not so stupid now, is he, Steventhusiasts!? That Will Be All: Blue and Yellow make Green melodies. The New Crystal Gems: Connie helps to promote the second wave of Funko Pop vinyl figures. Storm in the Room: "Why don't you ask her yourself?" Rocknaldo: In which it's beddy-bye-bo's time for (a vast majority of) Ronaldo's fanbase. Tiger Philanthropist: Tiger Millionaire raises his fists, Purple Puma raises the roof, and Lars raises up a stink! Room for Ruby: Lapis and Peridot regret not watching "The Wrong Trousers" the night before. Lion 4: Alternate Ending: This episode not being leaked in the first place is the actual alternate ending! Doug Out: In which the thoughts of a Super Mario/Steven Universe crossover game that never will be make this blogger cry to sleep. The Good Lars: Jenny plays a mean melodia. Are You My Dad?: We love our bread, we love our butter, but most of all we love each other! I Am My Mom: There's nothing I could do, a total eclipse of the heart.

#su spoilers #steven universe #all in jest i can assure you #look how far we've come

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