If I Should Stay
Part 1 | . . . | Part 33 | Part 34 | Part 35
Eddie shifts nervously as he waits for Steve to open the door. He’s halfway expecting Robin, which is why he completely blanks when Allison opens the door instead.
She casually leans against the doorframe and crosses her arm, raising a judgmental eyebrow. “Yes?”
He winces. “Is Steve home?”
“Maybe.” She studies her nails. “Why should I let you see him?”
He takes a deep breath. “I fucked up,” he says, more confidently than he feels. “I’d like to apologize.”
She hums. “And if he decides not to forgive you?”
Eddie spreads his hands hopelessly. “I’d deserve it.”
She tilts her head. “Would you keep trying?”
“It depends on how I feel he means it, what you say, and how he responds to it when I do try again. If I do.”
“Damn,” Allison says, smiling. “I like you.”
Eddie blinks. “Thank you?”
She pats him on the shoulder. “C’mon in. Just know I was the one who taught Steve how to swing a baseball bat.” She smirks as she shuts the door behind him.
Eddie gulps as Steve calls from the kitchen, “Al? Who’s- oh,” he says, walking into the living room and stopping short at the sight of Eddie.
He’d had half a smile on his face that quickly drops at the sight of Eddie. Eddie feels his heart drop in tandem. “Steve,” Eddie says, begs. “Can… can I talk to you?”
Steve looks at him for a moment, then glances behind him to toss a hand towel back in the kitchen. He clenches his jaw and nods. “Sure.”
Allison slips past him and ruffles Steve’s hair on her way to the kitchen. “Asshole,” he mutters.
“Bitch,” she calls back at him before the door shuts behind her.
Eddie snorts, then sobers when Steve raises a brow his direction. “Sorry, I’m not laughing at you, just… is that what having a sibling is like?”
Steve’s expression softens as he glances behind himself. “Yeah.”
Eddie takes a breath and glances at the ground, building his courage, before looking up at Steve. “I’m sorry. I didn’t give you any chance to speak, I just assumed and when you didn’t say anything—again, because I didn’t give you a chance to—I took it as confirmation.” He shifts. “I’m not… this isn’t an excuse, okay? It’s an explanation. And it’s me saying I’m not willing to let it get in the way of us before we’re even a thing. I’m a runner. If things don’t go my way, if they get hard, if I get scared—hell, especially when I get scared—I run. I run, and I hurt people.” He takes a breath and looks Steve in the eye. His hands are shaking. “Like you. I hurt you, and I’m sorry. And I’m… I’m not going to run. Not now. Not later. I do believe you’ve changed—the past few days are evidence enough—and I want to get to know you.”
Steve takes an eternity—five seconds—to process his words. “What you said hurt me,” he says quietly. “And I’m not sure I can get over it just like that.”
“I’ll grovel every day if I have to. Until you believe me.”
Steve offers him a half smile. “That’s the thing. I do believe you, Eds. And I want us to be okay again. But I think it’s gonna take some time.”
Eddie nods. “If there’s anything I can do, to prove I mean it…”
Steve offers him a cheeky grin, and his heart skips a beat. “Kiss me?”
It’s half-joking, half-serious, and Eddie takes it as the olive branch it is. “Absolutely,” he immediately answers, smiling, moving to cup Steve’s cheeks in his hands.
He leans in and kisses him, slowly, heartfelt, the way Steve deserves to be kissed, then leans back and swipes his thumbs over Steve’s cheekbones. “God,” he murmurs. “You’re incredible, d’you know that?”
He feels the heat from Steve’s blush in his palms. “I’m just me.”
“No such thing as just when it’s you,” Eddie answers, completely serious.
Steve chuckles and rests their foreheads together. “How long did Robin yell at you?”
Eddie’s brows furrow. “I haven’t seen her. Wayne pulled the story out of me and said I was being an idiot.”
Steve begins to snicker. “Last I knew, she was heading over to give you a piece of her mind.”
Eddie chuckles, then suddenly pales. “Oh, fuck.”
Steve blinks. “What?”
“Knowing Wayne? He invited her in. They’re best friends now.”
“I see no downsides to this.”
“They’re going to gang up on us, Steve. It’s all downsides.”
“Nah. You, maybe, but Robs and I are soulmates.”
Eddie gasps and puts a hand to his chest. “Are you insinuating you’d chose your soulmate over your-”
He stops short, heart thumping oddly. “Um. Steve?”
“What are we?” Steve answers.
“Yeah.”
“That’s… a really good question, Eddie.”
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