#no matter how hard alex tries to tread that same path nigel did to feel close to him

[theotherrichardpapen]

...because any moment may be our last. everything is more beautiful because we're doomed.

#looking through my drafts and seeing this post unfinished and knowing in my core I'll probably never actually finish it . #but strangley enough i don't hate the way it looks with only those 2 panels ? beauty in simplicity or something idk #woe unfinished post be upon ye #honestly probably wouldnt even bother posting it were it not for the fact i was hit by a sudden wave of sadness #by being reminded out of the blue that alex really does just . lose nigel that night #enough deep level analysis my brain is all out i think . but just the simple fact that nigel dies that night #and alex has to go on for the rest of his life post-ending carrying that grief and loss with him #i know we talk about how nigel isn't truly 'gone' in the sense that they're one now and jack is supposed to be an amalgamation of the two #a product of their union and 'consummation' that night at the yard #but he's still gone . no matter how much alex might try and follow in nigel's footsteps #no matter how hard alex tries to tread that same path nigel did to feel close to him #he's gone . they will never have that moment beneath the house ever again . and alex has to go on living with that #anyway . normal again . imagine dropping a song rec like i used to. aha . go listen to sick like me by in this moment. #like minds #murderous intent #nigel colbie #alex forbes #nigel colbie x alex forbes #edit : THEY'LL NEVER HAVE THE MOMENT UNDER THE HOUSE AGAIN !!!!! #thinking about the moment where nigel sits across from alex after he shoots john #and the contrast to the scene in the crawlspace . nigel is trying to connect he is trying to get alex to see to understand #but now alex is closed off. something may be irreparable broken between them #do you think it was the moment where nigel starts to despair . to plead . realise that he needs to find a way to make alex truly see #i need to get some sleep