#no Gonk my husband needs sleep not to talk Skyrim with you for two hours

[dopesotherstuff]

*incoherent angry noises*

.

It’s that friend again.

Since last time, he’s moved to the state his basic training’s supposed to be in. The whole military thing’s on hold until he gets medical clearance, but an actually nice relative of his has taken him in in the meantime.

Somehow, Gonk’s living safely away from the shitty side of his family, is much more secure financially and lifewise, and is moving into his own apartment...

...and STILL finds ways to disrupt our lives. Not out of any necessity, illness or crisis this time, but basically just for attention.

(Our tale of woe is hidden below...)

Husband: *finally sleeping after another serious bout of insomnia*

Gonk: *ringing Husband’s phone nonstop*

Me: *mutes Husband’s phone and texts Gonk that he is SLEEPING and please stop*

Gonk: *switches to trying to video call Husband over and over*

Me: *keeps refusing the call and texting Gonk to STOP and finally mutes him on both phones but it’s too late*

Husband: *groans* Okay now I’m awake is there a fire at Gonk’s aunt’s house or something

Me: I’m sorry he didn’t reply to my texts so I don’t know, he just keeps trying to call

Husband: *sighs, calls Gonk to see if there’s an emergency*

Gonk: Oh I just wanted to say hi and talk about my Skyrim game, I need help figuring out this quest :D

That’s right. No emergency, no crisis, no actual reason behind his blowing up our phone and video chat besides Gonk wanting attention, being stubborn as hell, and not recognizing that other people have needs too. He was in a house full of people who care about him, so it’s not like he was desperate for human contact.

What gets me is, the guy has a memory like a sieve, so we put things in writing to remind him--but then he ignores the text right in front of his face. Therefore, reminding him to not obsessively call and call and call until someone here answers does no good whatsoever. 

When my guy mutes him on social media and on the phone he just turns his attention to me and does the same goddamn thing until I answer. We get very tempted to fully block him. But because we never know if there’s an actual emergency again or if he’s pulling this shit, we have to check.

That’s not his disability. That’s a conscious decision to be a selfish, pushy headass.

I’m still tempted to try what I had to with my abusive fucking mother back when I was away at college. In her case I had to basically tell her “every time that you swear at or insult me I’ll ignore your phone calls for three days”, leaving her with nobody to use as her agony aunt. It took over two years of consequences before I could train that bitch to respect that one single boundary, but I did.

In Gonk’s case, I really want to propose that we do the three-day block every time he pulls this kind of disruptive, selfish crap for attention. I’m just questioning whether it would work, and whether it might be too extreme.

It’s like...I can deal with his friend needs, I can deal with his disability-related needs, I can deal with his family drama. I can deal with his need for help, his bad memory, and his brain fog.

I CANNOT deal with his being a selfish little shit with zero respect for other people’s lives, needs, and boundaries. The man is THIRTY, not five. There is no excuse for this, any more than there was an excuse for his calling cops on friends out of spite.

#what is my life #gonk #bad friends #yes virginia disabled people can be assholes too #annoying people #manbaby #no Gonk my husband needs sleep not to talk Skyrim with you for two hours #cw abuse mention