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huckleberrysclutterbucket · 4 years

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LOSING CONTROL

Lucas tries to keep his temper under control, but sometimes is just imposible.

Lucas POV

Control, is a small word with a big meaning. My dad used to say after I got in a fight, “If you could control your temper, you wouldn´t be in this situation”. I got sent to the principal´s office several times, I got suspended twice. My dad had business in New York and saw an opportunity to help me start over. And I did. I had everything under control, or so I thought.

First day, I haven´t even reached school, I meet this girl, she walks up to me like she owns the freaking subway and makes a number for her friend. They are both cute. The fisty one is named Maya and the other one Riley. I get to school and enter my new classroom, I was held back a year since I spent most of it in detention or suspended, and to my surprise, both girls are in my class. And to top it all, my history teacher is Riley’s father.

As soon as Maya recognize my accent, I was doomed. She wouldn’t waste a chance to call me names and make fun of me. Little did she knew, instead of irking me, I loved those names she gave me, Huckleberry, Sundance Kid, Ranger Rick. All western. The girl did her homework, she knew what I liked. It was time for me to find out what she liked and get to her.

As time passed, we became friends, even Farkle accepted me in his group. Riley was the one who kept us all together, even in the most difficult times, she always had faith in our friendship. I did noticed the moon eyes, she likes me, really likes me, in a romantic way, but I’m not into romantic stuff, so I never really asked her out. I was more intrigued about Maya, she’s more about act first think later, kinda reminds me of myself. Tuff exterior and soft in the inside, like a lobster. I wonder what made her put up all those walls around her. It seems like the only person she lets in is Riley. I really wanted to get to know her.

Everything seemed to be under control, untill Maya asked me to beat up a kid that was bulling Farkle. I worked so hard to keep my temper under control, change my old ways. I told her we shouldn’t use violence, it never ends well. We were in gym class when Billy, my team mate, started bulling Farkle, I lost my temper and pushed Billy, I had him pinned to the wall and was about to trow the first punch when Maya jumped on my back and stopped me. “Lucas, don’t!” “Isn’t this what you wanted Maya?” “No. Thats what he wants, he wants you to be like him” Hearing her anxious words in my ear and feeling her heart beating so fast on my back made me realize that she was scared. I imediately returned to my calmed self and talked some sense into Billy. That was the first time I almost lost control. If it wasn’t for Maya, I would have ended up in a fight again.

Valentines day came, and this girl asked me out, Missy Bradford. She was the most popular girl in our grade. Then something funny happened, Riley got jelous. She looked so cute all mad about it. I had a talk with Farkle about the girls, he knew them better anyways. That’s how I learned that Farkle was inlove with both Riley and Maya, and he wanted to know if I would ask one of them out, so he could ask the other. That was weird, so I asked “And what if I pick the other one?” and he just said “Then I get the first one! how long do you wanna play this game?” Was this a game for him? Ok then. I can play along.

Maya, had other plans in mind, she asked me out instead, the girl has nerve and wasn’t going to sit around waiting for us to make a choice, and I’m not afraid to admit I kinda like that about her. She told me to pick her up at Riley’s and I was so thrilled to do so, but I was ambushed. Maya set me up to date Riley, luckly Mr Matthews wouldn’t let her go unless Maya and Farkle came too, as long as she was there I didn’t care. The four of us took the subway, I kept stealing glances at Maya and noticed she kept looking at some older guy a few seats ahead. Suddenly she walked straight to that dude and started talking to him, was she flirting? Riley noticed me staring at Maya and explained to me. Josh Matthews, he was her uncle. And apparently Maya had the biggest crush on him.

Maya sat beside Josh, and after a few words were crossed I could tell he said something that hurt her feelings. He got off the train on the next stop, leaving Maya with sad eyes. I wanted to punch that guy so much. I almost did, but then I remembered I was supposed to be dating Riley. I told her to go sit with Maya and see if she was ok, but Maya pushed Riley back to me. That’s when Riley fell on my lap and kissed me. It lasted just a second, but I stood frozen, it seemed like time had stopped. I just sat there, wondering if anybody else saw that, more like, wondering it Maya saw Riley kissing me. I didn’t tell anyone about it.

No one knew about my conflicted past, untill Zay came along with his big mouth. That month his family moved to New York, and my old childhood friend transfered to this school too. He’s only been here a week and I’ve already got in a fight. All the work I put on having my temper under control goes to hell. His big mouth got him in troube with a senior and I had to get in troube to save his ass, again. I got detention for friday after school. Thanks a lot Zay. To my surprise Maya was there too. She got in trouble but wouldn’t tell me why. I walked her home after detention, I find out her mom works until late and her dad is not around since she was 5, we were in detention together a few times after that. Apparently she doesn’t like to do homework. I must confess I got into a few fights just to get in detention so I could walk her home.

I always sat behind Maya, that way was easier to catch on the details. I still wanted to get to know her. That’s how I noticed all the little drawings on the edge of her notes. She hated science and chemestry, I was her lab partner, it was basically like having no partner at all, she would fall asleep in my hand, literally. But I didn’t mind. I even liked to do all our projects together, more like me doing the project while I watched her sleep or doodle. Sometimes I took her to my house so that she would fall asleep in my bed. How I loved to smell my pillow. The scent of her shampoo lingered for a while after she was gone.

We had a school dance, the semi formal. I was supposed to ask Riley to go to the dance with me, but I never did. I asumed we were all going together as a group. However, Charlie Gardner had other plans, he asked Riley to be his date to the semi formal when I failed to do so, and she said yes just to try to get me jelous. I was kinda not okay with her childish behavior, so I got irritated but then again, Maya didn’t had a date, and I finnaly had a chance to dance with her. And I did.

At school things were not going great. Not only I had a bunch of homework and projects, but the Art class was about to be canceled. Is the only class Maya actually enjoys. Even when Maya said she was ok with it, and that it was just a class, or just a hobby, I knew her better by then. That class was very important to her, it was her escape from all the stress in her life, I could see that sadness in her eyes and I couldn’t stand it. We did all we could think of to convince the board to keep the arts program at school. And we succeded.

Riley’s and Maya’s friendship used to be the strongest, but now it seemed so fragile, to the point of crazyness. Me and Maya were voted as “best couple” on the yearbook, and when Riley and Farkle noticed, it was like if all hell broke loose. Riley was sinking into depressed Riley wich she called Morotia M Black. Maya tried to bring her back by pretending to be Riley. Farkle was angry too because he wanted to be “taken seriously”. I didn’t understand what was happening back then because I’ve always taken him seriously, but he changed his style and now he wanted to be called Donny Barnes. It seemed to me there was someone else he wanted to impress. Someone in particular that he wanted to notice him or to take him more seriously.

Zay told the girls about my accident riding a sheep when I was four. On vacation we went to Texas, more like Riley and Maya signed me up to ride a sheep to “overcome my fear of falling from Judy”. I would have appreciated their effort if it wasn’t for the fact that grown men don’t ride sheep, they ride bulls. So accidentally they signed me up to ride a freaking bull named Tumbstone, like if the name didn’t freak me out enough. What the hell were they thinking? Riley was trying to cheer me up, “You can do it Lucas, You’ll do great” but Maya, she knew how scared I was, and she knew why. I could die or get seriously injured. “If you do this, I’ll never speak to you again” she told me. But Pappy Joe was proud of me for doing this, and had already told all the town I was doing it, leaving me no room to back off from it without looking like a coward. Even though I didn’t got hurt and I could only ride the bull for four lousy seconds, it was enough to hurt Maya’s feelings.

That night we made a bonefire, we sat around it and talked, Riley broke up with me finally. She told me that Maya teases me because she’s attracted to me. Zay left with Riley and Farkle to “get ice cream” wile I talked to Maya alone. I asked her myself about it and she denied it. Against my better judgement, I lost control of myself again, I wanted to hear her say it so bad, I push and cornered her, “If you don’t like me, then why do you make fun of me? And why didn’t you wanted me to ride the bull?” “Because I didn't wanted you to win and get all coincided”. Yeah right... Lamest answer. I knew I was getting close to a confession, so I kept pushing her “Why do you make fun of me?” “Because you’re easy to make fun of” “That’s not it” I walked so close to her, I could almost hear her heartbeat “Because you are a Huckleberry” she was becoming more agitated and kept yelling all this western nicknames at me. I couldn’t take it anymore, so the moment she hahurred in my face, I reached with both hands for her face and I kissed her. It was a soft kiss and it ended too soon but it worked, she stopped. And most importantly, she let her walls down. “Why did you do that?” She asked me. I was dumbstruck... I had kissed her. I didn’t knew what to do next. What should I say? “I’m sorry. I… I didn’t know how to make you stop” Now I was too nervous. I blew it… from all the things I could have said... I apologized? “Don’t have to be sorry. Of course I like you Huckleberry, if you got hurt I don’t know what I woud have done”. I made her say it, and I didn’t felt any better about it.

Back home we were all a wreck. Riley was still upset about me liking Maya, and she started going out with Charlie Gardner. How I hate that guy. Farkle started dating Smackle, and I asked Maya out. We had a smoothie, well my head had a smoothie, my “I delivered a baby horse” line didn’t work on her. I should have known that it wouldn’t. She’s not like other girls, she isn’t looking for a prince or a hero to save the day. I was in real trouble, Riley was so easy to impress, she was happy to hear my cowboy adventures. But Maya made fun of me, I had to work hard if I wanted to impress Maya.

New year came, Riley made a party in her house. Oddly enough, it was Charlie the one who invited me, so irritating, but everything about him was irritating. At the party, Maya and I couldn’t catch a break. We sat alone by the baywindow only to be third wheeled by Riley. Then we were having this moment, at the balcony, it felt so romantic and I was about to lean in for a kiss, when Farkle came running and ruined the moment by announcing “Riley still loves Lucas”. Wait what? Seriously? Then Riley broke up with Charlie. I wasn’t going to break up with Maya. Not a chance.

That’s how we started this weird triangle thing. Maya wouldn’t go out with me anymore since Riley was back in the picture. Their friendship was healing and they didn’t want to hurt each other. We tried to be just friends for a while, but the truth is, we couldn’t. I like Maya way too much.

We started High school and it was full of changes and new challenges. Both girls introduced me as their boyfriend, I could hardly keep up with them both, and to top it all, Riley demanded too much attention. She was naive and gullable, we had to keep an eye on her all the time, I snaped a few times at Riley, Maya tried to stay out, but everytime Riley would ask Maya to scream at me too. It was getting ridiculous. So Maya decided to drop out, she broke up with me and asked me to “go tell Riley that you love her”. I could never say no to her, so I stayed with Riley. When she asked about Maya, I was honest and told her the truth “She’s the one who sent me to you”. She didn’t seemed to mind, she was happy I stay even if that meant loosing Maya. I wasn’t too happy.

I went out with Riley for a while, untill she moved to London, we never officially broke up, the relationship just froze. Her mom got a very good job offer and her whole family moved. We tried the long distance thing but it was harder than I thought. Specially after I found out that the only reason Maya broke up with me was because Riley’s uncle told her to. Josh and Maya started dating after that. Not that you could call that dating. He was in college and hardly got any time to see her, she spent most of her time alone in Toppanga’s coffee shop reading some novels. I know because, after Riley moved to London, I started going there too to keep her company. We had good times there.

It was like going back in time, back to when we used to date. But this time she had a boyfriend and I had a girlfriend, only they weren’t here. I spent almost all afternoons with Maya, we became very close friends. Except when Josh was “available”. I really hated that guy, and I could tell he felt threaten by me. One time we had an argument, after that He tried to stop Maya from hanging out with me, as if someone could force Maya to do something. She broke up with him after that. Farkle and Izzy broke up too, and before we knew what was happening we all went our separate ways. Zay and Izzy started a relationship, hanging out on their own. Farkle stopped hanging out with us too. Somehow now that he was single he seemed to be very busy, on his computer or his phone, but always talking to someone. I spent almost all my free time with my football friends, at parties or with Maya. Mostly with Maya. We would have movie nights. It started as a group thing in the livingroom, but since Zay, Farkle and Izzy ditched us most of the times, we stopped inviting them. Now it was just the two of us, laying on my bed, talking and watching movies while we ate junk food untill we fell asleep.

We were watching one of those teen movies, when the typical sex scene began. Maya started a conversation. A sex talk to be exact. “Huckleberry, do you think we should have sex right now? I mean not you and me, but you and Riley, and me and someone else?” “Why now?” “Because, you’ll be 18 very soon, and Riley is only 16, it would be ilegal, and right now is not” “But I’m not in a hurry to have sex. Besides, even if I wanted to, Riley is in London” “But, she’ll be back for the summer, after prom” “Like I said, I’m not in a hurry to have sex,” “But, doesn’t it bothers you to be the only guy in the football team with a V card?” “Does it bothers you?” “No. but is different with guys. I’m sure they must have teased you about it” “Well, they don’t know I’m a virgin. They think I have too much sex actually” “Really? With whom?” How can I explain to her that every guy in the team thinks she’s my girlfriend and they know we hang out in my bedroom, almost daily.

Here it goes... “Remember when we were freshmen and you told everybody you were my girlfriend?” “Yeah, so?” “Well... They also know that you and I hang out in my room most afternoons” “How would they know that?” I reach for my phone in my jeans and give it to her. She looks at me because she knows which picture I have as background, she took it herself. Is her in my bed, wearing just my jersey and I’m shirtless next to her. “This doesn’t prove anything” she says but I tell her to unlock it, she knows my passcode. And I see her questioning face. “What am I supposed to do with this?” “Read” I’ve been ditching my friends to hang out with her and it has been buzzing with stupid ass coments about my sex life all day. Is a group chat with the football team. I already know what it says but I wait for her to read it. “Friar? you in for later?” “We are at Ross house.” “WHERE RU?” “You coming?” “He’s coming all right. In the gf” “He’s Banging the GF?” “They allways banging” “I’m so jelous” “You dog” “Too much sex has to be bad for your game” “Dude, he killed last game!” “Then keep it up” “Is up allright” “hahaha” “LOL” ...

She stops reading the texts and looks at me with horror in her eyes once the realization of what’s going on hits her. “So they think we are having sex? Like right now?” “Yes. Basically.” “oh my god, they think I’m a whore!” “No no no. They think you’re my girlfriend” “Why didn’t you tell them I’m not?!” “Would you rather let them think we have casual sex?” “No! No wonder no one ever asks me out. I’m sigle and a virgin because of you!” “Would you rather loose your virginity to some idiot who would dump you next week?” “Yes! Damn it. I don’t wanna be a virgin anymore. I’ll even give it up to the next guy that asks me out!”

And right there I lost my temper again. The single thought of someone else touching her drove me mad, “I would never allow that! Everyone knows you’re off limits!” “Why would you do that to me?!” “I didn’t do it by myself you know! You are the one taking intimate pictures, cheering at my games, waiting for me after practice, I drive you everywhere, you wear my letter jacket like a girlfriend would.... You even sit on my lap for christ sake! What do you think it looks like when you spend the night in my bed?! Even my mom gives me freaking condoms because she thinks we’re fucking!” I knew I shouldn’t have said that the moment it came out of my mouth. Me and my goddamn temper.

I was livid, and Maya was furious at me. “Even your mom thinks I’m a whore! I’m a virgin whore. What are the odds?...” “You’re not a whore… They think you are my-“ “Don’t you dare say girlfriend, because you know is not real!” “WAKE UP MAYA! Is as real as if we were already fucking!” “SHUT UP! You’re Riley’s boyfriend!” “Pff please… we both know that relationship died way before she even left” “I can’t believe this... How could I be so stupid?” “Why don’t you admit that you like to pretend to be my girlfriend” “No, I don’t!” I had to make her say it “Then why are you here Maya?” “Because you invited me to watch a stupid movie!” “No. Why are you here, with me, in my bedroom?” With every word, I would take a step closer to her, until I cornered her to the wall. “Why spending the night in my bed when you know very well spooning you gives me a raging boner?” “I didn’t know.” “Stop... just stop lying already!” I was angry and I reached the wall, “What do you want me to say? That I want to lure you into having sex with me?” I had her trapped between me and the wall, I slammed my palms to the wall, on each side of her head “No! That you still love me! Because you know damn well that I still do!” I crashed my lips and claimed hers.

For the second time in my life I kissed Maya Hart, only this time I wasn’t gentle, I wasn’t a nervous kid and she wasn’t a scared little girl anymore. We had all this sexual tension and frustration we were eager to let out. She kissed me back with the same lust as me. Having her in my bedroom was just asking for trouble. She wanted sex and I was dying to give her just that. I slid my hands from her back to her waist, then down her hips, to her ass and held her up, she wrapped her legs on my waist grinding her hips to me, and I was gone. I lost control to my hormones. Next thing I know, I had her on my bed, me on top of her. My hands touching all her curves, Maya’s legs arround me and pulling me down, between her legs, I’m grinding myself to her, enjoing the feeling of that friction and her soft moans. I was about to make the rumors true, already yanking the elastic band of her underwear, but then my mom walked in. She slammed the door and as she walked down the hall I heard her mutter “Just friends my ass”.

I got off of Maya as fast as I could “Fuck! Fucking freaking fuck!”, she was panting. I turned to watch the tv, the movie was over, the music and credits were on. We calmed down a bit, she sat on the bed, and some tears ran down her cheeks as she fixed her clothes. I made her cry. I sat on the bed with her. “I’m sorry, I swear I didn’t planned this” “How could I let this happen? I’m so stupid. What’s gonna happen when Riley comes back and someone tells her that you and I.” “I’ll tell her the truth, and then I’ll break it up, officialy” “She’s gonna hate me” “She knows our thing is over Maya. We haven’t even talked for weeks” “This can’t happen again. Never!” She put her sneakers on and ran away from me, out of my room, and out of the house. My mom was in the kitchen. “Isn’t your girlfriend staying for dinner?” “Not my girfriend mother. And No, we weren’t having sex, we were just making out. If we ever decide to have sex, I’ll wear those damn condoms.” I told her very irritated and ran after Maya.

She was walking down the corner when I caught up with her, and conviced her to get on the car so I could drive her home. I could tell by her red cheeks that she was very embarassed about what was about to happen in my room. “Maya, don’t worry. If it makes you feel better, tomorrow morning I will tell everybody we are both virgins” “I don’t care about that.” “Then what is it?” “We were about to... This is going to kill our friendship” “I’ll deal with Riley when she gets back. But right now, we need to talk about what just happened” “I can’t do this... we have to stop” “Believe me, I tried to stop, but I can’t. I’ve tried for so long, and I’m done holding back” “I can’t” “I’m loosing my mind here Maya, I have these intense feelings for you that you were reciprocating just a few minutes ago” “We can’t be friends anymore Lucas” “We were never just friends Maya, the scene in my room just proved it. You’re just too stuborn to accept that” We stopped movie nights until we could figure our relationship out. Maya was avoiding me at school, with all the finals, and prom everybody was too busy to even notice, and the ones who did, just pinned it for a couple’s argument.

End of term came sooner than expected. And so did a certain brunette. It was the week before prom and I had just asked Maya to be my date. Flowers, ballons, chocolates, the whole thing. I wanted her back in my life. She said yes. I came back home and Riley was at my door. “Riles, hi” “hey! I’m back” “Yes, I can see that... Come in. So what brings you here?” “I came to be your prom date, I meant to surprise you in school but you were gone and I had an interesting chat with some of your friends” “Yeah, we need to talk” “About you screwing my best friend behind my back?” “Oh... so, you heard” “All the fucking school knows. It’s humiliating!” “Yeah... But it isn’t true” “what about all these pictures in your locker?” I had forgoten about all the photos I had in my locker, nothing bad, just some pictures of me and Maya, movie night, parties, after a game, and my favorite where she had my letter jacket on because it was cold that night.. “You went trough my stuff?” “Was it a secret? I kinda had the impression it was public knowledge”

It wasn’t the fact that Riley didn’t believe me, or trusted me, I didn’t cared about that. It was the fact that the lie would ruin Maya’s and Riley’s frindship that made me confess all of it to Riley. “It was all fake Riley, you should know by now, Maya wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. She didn’t even knew about that stupid rumor until recently, and honestly I didn’t care enough to tell people it wasn’t true”. “But why?” “Because I like spending time with her, we have fun together, and it was easy to let the guys think whatever to get them off my back and hers” “Do you love her again?” “I never stopped loving her Riley, but you already knew that.”

“You look happy together in all those pictures” “Yeah... that’s probably because we are.” “So, how does it work? She pretends to be your girlfirend?” “No Riley, we are not pretending, we just hang out together, like we always have, without labels. At least that was untill last week” “What happened last week?” “I told her about said lie. We had a fight and then I kissed her. But before you jump into conclussions, you should know that she freaked out and ran away from me” “She still loves you” “I know she does” “But she’ll never admit it” “Because she thinks you still love me. She cares more about you than herself” “Was she happy?” “The happiest I’ve ever seen her”. Somehow, even when she was the same Riley, she seemed different, more mature. She wasn’t really mad at me. She just seemed lost in thought. “I go away for a few months and you all wonder like scathered sheep” she joked. Riley excussed herself and left to go find Maya. Baywindow duty, and I’m guessing trying to fix all this mess we were in. I just hope that I didn’t ruined their friendship. Maya would never forgive me otherwise.

Maya called me that same afternoon, saying she couldn’t be my date to prom. She was still going, just not with me. I guessed it had something to do with Riley, but I wasn’t going to go with Riley so, I refused to go. I was tired of falling into that game. I decided to stop playing it. Prom day came, it was a clouded sky that day, and so was my brain. I decided to show up last minute, I had to see her on her dress. I changed to my formal clothes, my cowboy hat, my rose, and I drove to prom. As soon as I got out of my car, it was pouring rain, I walk down to the door and stoped, right there trough the glass I could see her. She looked beautiful, dancing and spining on the dancefloor, her bouncing golden curls, sorrounded by all her friends, Izzy, Zay, Riley and Farkle, all together again, it seemed so surreal.

As they were dancing, Riley caught my eyes, she was staring at me, watching me with a devilish smile, while Maya was dancing oblivious to us. Then I remember why I liked Riley, she just had to fix everything. From where I was standing outside in the rain, I couldn’t hear a word, but I saw Riley lean into Maya and whisper something to her ear. Maya nodded, and closed her eyes happily. I didn’t loose her from my sight, as Riley took Maya’s hands and led her right in front of me. I was breathless, watching her laugh with her eyes still closed. Riley made eye contact with me and opened the glass door, then whisper something in her ear and left. Maya counted to three outloud and opened her eyes to see me.

“One, two, three.” “Hi” “Hey. You’re here” “Yeah, I wouldn’t miss seeing you in that dress for the world” “You should come in... the storm.” “I don’t mind” “Don’t you wanna come in and dance with us?” “There’s only one person I’m interested in” I gave her the red rose and then I took her hand and pulled her outside. The rain was still falling and she was getting wet. She came near me and hugged me, I put my arms around her as I swayed to the rithm of the music. It was a slow dance. I told her softly to her ear “I missed you so much” and she stopped dancing. I looked at her face as she looked deeply into my eyes and when she was about to speak, I kissed her. Only, this time, after she kissed me back, she didn’t pushed me away. It was so weird, how things turned around. Maya used to be the one who pushed Riley and me together, ever since we met. And now it was Riley the one who finally was pushing Maya towards me. She wouldn’t have me any other way. I told her “I love you, even with that stubborn head of yours”. She laughed and said “I love you, even with that bad temper of yours”.

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