#nervous system regulaton

[imrama-healing]

Union

I feel almost happy, almost serene, mostly content. I knew it would come, it just hasn't felt possible. In the last two weeks I have had five panic attacks, some not intense as others, but debilitating just the same. It was while I was crying for 6+ hours straight and only got roughly an hour's sleep on a Thursday night, either side panic attacks that I realised I wasn't going crazy, that it is actually PTSD. It is amazing, once the mind is able to grasp and make sense of something, it can relax and ease a little more. I have been worried about my bipolar returning, having felt fully healed from it. I have not been on psych meds for years and it was interesting to notice how much louder my mind got without them. The difference is, with all the years of self-work, therapy, the support of meds and mostly my spiritual path led me to a place where I was liberated, empowered and not controlled by my diagnosis. I truly believe that my bipolar is a manifestation of my brain figuring out to cope in intense times of survival. These last few months have been brutal. My somatic and nervous system work absolutely intense. At one point I was laying on the floor each day and immediately my body would convulse for an hour+. Yes, it was and has been utterly exhausting, my nervous system has just been in overdrive and it is so naturally used to regulating in this innate way now that suppression and bottling anything down is impossible. This is the power of healing. I finally purchased the Activation Sequence to the Gene Keys a couple of days ago after having a difficult conversation with my best friend, who said she has noticed a decline in my mental health over the past year. I admitted to her that I have just been scared. Because I have been. Every part of me beginning to freeze in terror at the possibility of what might be happening to me. I am so proud that I have so many learned skills and tools that I can utilise to help support myself. It has been so hard, as I have wanted so much to start working with others and begin to bring some of this work to the world. But, with my state being the way it has, I have just needed such a deep pause and rest state. Instead of going to a yoga class this evening I followed my intuition and was stayed home to do a restorative practice and reconnect my body, with my heart. I was reminded today through the gene keys teachings of the beauty of yoga, in bringing myself back to union, my natural state and my natural nature. I set the intention to connect with Mother Gaia and send all that extra electrical charge and anything that does not serve me back into the Earth. And to be breathe in grounding transmuted energy back into my body and connect with my heart. It was so interesting to witness and watch. Because my body moves so much, I have been holding back heaps in my practice so as not to disturb others, as it is not appropriate. What has happened is a disconnection with my heart. Through each intuitively guided pose, staying there for roughly 5 minutes and as my body unwound and let go, I allowed it to convulse, shake, move and heal as it needed. Already in the first module. A glimpse and a glance to the art of contemplation I am already reconnected more deeply with my higher self and my ego has taken a very deep back seat. What a blessing to be here now. x

#gene keys #the art of contemplation #union #yoga #somatics #healing #therapy #nervous system regulaton #release #embodiment #magick #earthing #connection