#my intuition is actually so fucking good i have a 90% chance of getting stuff correct TRUST

[blubrrychef]

OH MY GOD I WAS RIGHT. WHO CHEERED

#୧ ‧₊˚ not nacha ! #my intuition is actually so fucking good i have a 90% chance of getting stuff correct TRUST

[applegelstore]

My sis and I are through with the actual main plot of KH3, so I can officially go back to scheduled ToZ fangirling now. …Well, I promised Cray a bit of fix-it-fanart, so after that, I guess.

Hit the cut for a resume. It got super long and has endgame story spoilers, so you might not want to stumble upon it by accident.

Another extra big shoutout (again!) to @crazayrock for bearing my liveblogging on Discord, screaming without context and occasional spoilers. And linking me fluffy Soriku doujinshi. Here, have my favourite, spoiler-heavy excerpt of our conversation:

Okay anyway, let’s get started: GAMEPLAY

Kingdom Hearts 3 is BEAUTIFUL. The gameplay is so smooth and intuitive that you can immediately get to playing like you’d never done anything else; in fact so smooth that I doubt I will ever be able to pick up the first game ever again. It’s always been fun, but the looooooong years’ gap actually did wonders to the gameplay.

The keyblade form changes are fun and keep things fresh, you can do flashy triangle button shit every other minute, and shotlock is still insanely useful without being a game-breaker.

It seems easier than the first two main games, though?

The gummi ship is still a pain in the ass to steer, but I do enjoy the open world-like travel options (even if there’s not… much to discover except heartless lasering the shit out of you). I’m also eternally grateful that they kept the gummi ship thing from KH2 where you can just use a new gummi ship once you got the blueprint and don’t buy actual fucking legos as in the first game.

Thank you, Square. Not thanking you for the dumb cherry flan game, though.

The Caribbean being basically an open world stage was delightful! Apparently what our resident island kid needs is a big ship and tropical islands to plunder.

VISUALS AND STUFF

PRETTY LIGHTS EVERYWHERE

The long gap between the games also did wonders to the visuals.

There’s finally, FINALLY a few towns with actual NPCs you can talk to. Why it took the team so many years and the Gods know how many games is beyond me. The magic effects are beautiful, the animations smooth (honestly you can hardly tell apart cutscenes and fully rendered CGI scenes in this day and age of the PS4. I’m probably the only person still amazed by this because the only games I played on PS4 before were a few hours of Child of Light and of course Tales of Zestiria and Berseria. No, I still haven’t played FFXV but that’s a topic for another day). How far videogames have come.Even space finally looks like space, lol. Not really high-end what the PS4 can do I assume but god, it’s such an amazing and much needed upgrade from the terrible textureless colourful tubes you flew through before.

No excuse for the terrible battleship thingy before the Keyblade Graveyard, though. I got lost and beaten up so many times and crashed against more walls than I can count.

Nothing beats the World that Never Was, but the Keyblade Graveyard also has creepy cool potential, as does the beautiful but ghosted City in the Sky.

Still not getting what’s with JRPGs and very Definitely Final Dungeons (TM) that are basically space. …………or heaven. Or nothing. I’m getting the bad kind of original NGE TV series ending vibes. But. Okay.

The soundtrack is splendid

.……I miss Traverse Town and Radiant Garden, however.

Which brings us to:

THE WORLDS

I guess I can live with no more Final Fantasy characters being there (although I always loved that), and the meta jokes in Toy Story world really got me. Seeing Disney characters calling the KH villains call out on their shit was delightful. …the KH characters lampshading their own games’ sloppy dialogue writing was delightful.Still, those Disney worlds are always so much more in my head than what I actually get to play. This has been bugging me ever since the first game and it still does. I do not expect or want to replay the entire movies, but would it hurt to give the cutscenes some goddamn background music? Whenever there’s cutscenes, either the world’s usual BGM keeps playing or the music stops altogether. Together with the shortened dialogues and generally drastically shortened plots with odd cuts, that leads to scenes that are awkward at best. They never even remotely have the impact the movies had. You just sit there and think “oh wow that is so silly and awkward”.

Dancing scene in Corona? My favorite scene in Tangled. Zero impact on me without the lovely BGM (at least they made it a minigame so the moment isn’t over after 3 secs). Just for example. You can ask me like, world by world, but I can think of only exception off the top of my head and it’s not helping:

Let it Go of course. Listen guys, I actually love the song. But it’s so overused (and Frozen is an overrated movie at best that doesn’t deserve its hype in the slightest) that I can’t even really enjoy it being there. Like.


IF THAT’S OKAY WITH YOU,WHY DIDN’T YOU INCLUDE LITERALLY ANY OTHER ORIGINAL SONG FROM THE ORIGINAL MOVIES. Instead of BGM just not being there entirely, or in odd, cringey re-renderings that nobody wants to listen to (*cough* Atlantica *cough*).

Why torture me and not give me the one good scene from At World’s End (the up is down scene) when you had the chance?Kingdom Hearts is also prone to super lazy level design and wasting chances at wonderful scenery for no apparent reason other than I suppose empty cliffsides are quick to render. All games before did that, and KH3 is, sadly, no exception. We get to see a bit of Corona and Athens and they finally have NPCs, too, but you cannot even get near Arendelle. You cannot enter Elsa’s palace. You spend the entire time there climbing around in the snowy mountains of Norway, and unfortunately it looks less interesting than one would expect from the lovely concept art that the film unfortunately never used.You cannot enter Rapunzel’s tower although Sora can apparently parkour his way up even without her help.

………In short, the places you can go are, again, very limited, and a lot of interesting places and scenes you never get to see.

And to follow the plot you still only need the stuff that does NOT happen in those Disney worlds because they’re all beach filler episodes. It’s always been like that, but I keep wondering whether I’m the only one bothered by that. I’m also still salty they didn’t introduce a single new world from a 2D animated movie.

Also, as I said, I miss Traverse Town, it felt so warm and welcoming and beautiful.

And I get behind The World that Never Was missing although I loved it there, but why not give us back Radiant Garden? Destiny Islands since they’ve been restored? Disney Castle?

As much as I love the series, it never fucking lives up to its own potential. Idk whether it’s made more difficult by copyright issues or whatever, I just know that it bugs me.The first two games also had like twice as many worlds.

PLOT

I mean it’s never been deep; however, it’s complicated. No analysis or whatever from me because plot analysis and meta writing bore me like seven hells, just my emotional reaction: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 
Okay, bad news. I got into it expecting nothing, and still got disappointed. I don’t actually enjoy the prospect of writing essays about it, but here’s my tea with it; in not particular order:

1) the pacing is terrible. Nothing happens for like 30 hours and then suddenly like 20 characters’ arcs are (naturally poorly) resolved within the last few hours of cutscenes. Build up anyone? At least they actually did pick up Maleficent and the box thing again. …In the epilogue.

2) Speaking of build ups, Sora’s breakdown could have been developed nicely and steadily over the game to feel natural, and instead it’s hinted at in the beginning by everyone picking on him, but then it’s never further developed and comes out of fucking nowhere. Like. For real? It felt terribly OOC.

3) Why on earth have they shown 90% of the plot in the trailers already, and why are those scenes so massively disappointing in context

4) Kairi. Oh god, Kairi. What are we gonna do with you. I want to love her, I really do, but she’s a prime example of shittily written female leads. Mostly because she’s not leading. It’s not her fault. She’s just a fictional character. But honest to God, Nomura, why. Her screen time is almost nonexistent, and she’s entirely use- and helpless whenever she’s on screen (which isn’t often). Her ONLY point in the plot is being rescued because she is fucking useless. Why. Just why. Why waste her character like that. All we know is that she’s shoehorned into being the token love interest, but she has zero plot relevance and there is even less build up of her relationship with Sora. It’s all tell and NEVER show; and not even much telling, either. She has literally zero direct interaction with in the entire game before they share their paopu. The question remains: why are straights like this

5) On a related note: look, I don’t even ask for (or expect, or even hope) my ship to be canon. Squeenix doesn’t exactly have a rich history in queer representation. I’m totally fine with Sora and Riku being best friends. BUT. Building up Sora as the most important person in Riku’s life (and arguably, vice versa) over the course of several games, just to then hardly have them interact in the finale and then SUDDENLY bring back Kairi into the equation, who hasn’t interacted with him since the ending of KH2 (except for one unsent(?) letter) is just piss poor writing, period.I actually love Cray’s suggestion she gave me over Discord: let Sora, Kairi and Riku all share a paopu together (and let them group hug, too, you cowards). It would have been the perfect message to send (Sora as truly all-loving hero, and loving all your friends equally; romantic love isn’t more important than platonic love and doesn’t need to be singled out). Really sad that this isn’t what happens. Apparently that wouldn’t have been no homo enough.

LET THE DESTINY TRIO GROUP HUG YOU COWARDS


Do Riku and Kairi even interact once in the whole game?


HOW IS THIS A TRIO, IT’S JUST A SHITTILY WRITTEN LOVE TRIANGLE

6) Time travelling is a bitch, Christ. It doesn’t solve plotholes or can be played for drama, it just adds MORE plotholes. It just got WORSE. The cloning blues and people not aging doesn’t help, either.

7) Just so you know, I care absolutely zero for wild fan theories. You’re not Nomura. I want a statement from the man who wrote this shit himself why on bloody earth Sora dies when he apparently successfully found and brought back Kairi (and since nobody aged a day, apparently it didn’t even take that long lol). DUDES, THIS IS KINDA PART OF THE PLOT, AND YOU DON’T BOTHER TO EXPLAIN IT INGAME???? And how was Ienzo/Zexion able to revive Naminé while Kairi was still missing/dead/whatever…?

Okay so in short the writing is worse than ever and that’s saying something.

However, let’s try to find something good in this trainwreck; it wasn’t all bad. There’s some really nice scenes which sadly are better enjoyed without any context at all.

So, guess my favourite scenes.You had time enough, here’s the solution:

1) Purifying uhm er rescuing Aqua. Poor girl. She deserves the rest. Poor, poor Aqua. The only properly wirrten female in the whole damn franchise. Also the only person other than Riku who fucking gets shit done.

2) The Gayblade (TM)

3) Happy Axel in the reunion with his kids. Oh god, the poor chap deserves it so much. Thank you, Nomura. I don’t care that it makes pretty much no sense. Make him happy. Give him his friends back. Just give Axel all his friends and let him happily set things on fire. Hi I love Axel

4) The party at the beach cutscene before the credits roll. Axel and Xion get clothes. Half the organization is on our side now. I almost teared up at the Wayfinder trio saying goodbye to Eraqus’ forceghost. Hey come on he’s the voice of Luke Skywalker

5) Sully yeeting Vanitas

6) Woody calling out Xehanort that nobody loves him

7) Jack Sparrow bad breathing Luxord

I wish we had gotten:

1) justice for Kairi

2) a happy Zexion, the poor emo kid. Well maybe now he will be, with all the orga members who changed sides now, lol.

3) I will never trust mobile games ever again so I don’t want to play KHUX but I would have loved to learn about the Keyblade Wars :;))))


WHAT WAS THE KEYBLADE WAR ABOUT CAN WE SPEND MORE TIME IN THAT COOL CITY IN THE SKY WHAT’S THE DEAL WITH MIKLEO
I MEAN THAT EPHEMER KIDDO


WHAT’S WITH THE MASKED DUDES AND DUDETTES FROM THE MOVIE


WTF WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM AFTER THE MOVIE???? WHERE THOSE KEYBLADE USER NAMES ACTUAL MOBILE GAME PLAYER NAMES??? Next game? PLEASE?

I really, REALLY hope the epilogue means we will get Xiggy/Luxu as our new big bad and we learn more about the five dudes and dudettes from the movie. Please. PLEASE. I’m so up for it. Them finally pickung up the bit with Maleficent and the mysterious box again? Hell yeah.

The secret movie was really unexciting in comparison, although I laughed very hard at the “Verum Rex” scene in Toy Story world. Maybe that’s why it was much cheaper to unlock than in KH1 and KH2.

4) give Ven a drink

DLC ideas I would actually pay for because I’m a sad human being: 1) more Disney worlds 2) Japanese audio 3) at least one of the following as permanently playable characters: Riku, Kairi, Axel, Ven, Aqua. At least as a guest member as in KH2. THIS SUCH A BIG STEP BACKWARDS I’M FUMING

FINAL THOUGHTS

Kingdom Hearts 3 is a hella lot of fun, beautiful, and also moving when it sets its mind to it. Unfortunately it doesn’t always do so. I don’t feel like it wasn’t worth the wait; it was. However, I’m very salty how rotten the writing is. I do not mind logical fallacies, I do not mind the cheesiness and cringeyness; however, I do mind how so many interesting characters do not get the screentime they deserve, and Kairi is a very bad joke.

I’ll probably find more to nitpick about (Gods. Just. Don’t come up with dub excuses why Sora is lv 1 in each game. JUST LEAVE IT BE. You don’t explain why Donald and Goofy are lv 1 again, either. JUST. LEAVE. IT. BE. The sacrifice was dumb and not even moving, I’m just still furious that Kairi’s ONLY point in the plot is being so useless that it’s literally getting herself KILLED and she needs constant rescuing to the point that Sora has to sacrifice himself for her, effectively. Kairi deserves better, Sora deserves better, I deserve better than to think about this absurdity.…I’m just… gonna cherry-pick the good bits from the lore and try to pretend the finale didn’t exist, I guess. GODS.

#long post #random rambling tag

[elegant-agent]

fuck it, while my mind’s still on siege, i’ve wanted some quality of life and misc stuff on there for a long time

i’ve always wanted a way to control opacity of u.i. elements like teammate outlines and objective highlights. it’s surprisingly disruptive when you’re on the opposite side of your teammates and an enemy manages to get in front of them. oh, and add in maybe a slight line below a teammate outline and scan lines, because i have bad depth perception and can’t tell how far they are in front of me.

shotguns have always been the overlooked child of siege, and for good reason: they’re inconsistent. yeah they might insta-kill someone two feet in front of you, but beyond that, it varies. all the enemy has to do is click on your head once and they win. shotguns are decent, but to improve viability, they need global increase in effective range, and for damage multipliers with headshots to be increased. it’s at a 1x effectiveness right now, meaning it does the same damage as shooting the torso, but making it a 3 or at least a 2 would give shotguns a fighting chance if you whiff the torso. also give them angled and vertical grips. why does only the gign get to have them on their pump shotguns.

a proper training area would also do siege a lot of good. overwatch’s training comes to mind at first, but it’s... lacking. siege needs a proper training area, with numbers, grids, and showcases that give out consistent results. personalized areas for each operator that shows what they can or can’t do. for example, thatcher gets an area filled with defender gadgets like c4 and cameras, or valkyrie gets an area filled with walls and has an outside area. a generic training area would be present, and there, operators can be freely chosen whenever they wanted to be. maybe set somewhere like first-era hereford. there would be a white wall that extents high so you can practice and see recoil rather than rely on just intuition. there would also be some terrorist walking around like a shooting game, or in a standing spot where you can test out how many shots to kill. 1 armored would be those gray-green hoodies, 2 armored would be those black hoodies, 3 armored would be bombers, and 3 armored with shields would be black hoodies with shields (speaking of, it never maid much sense to be how the black hoodies were ambushers and were heavily armored but only used mobile shields instead of shields proper). there would be an option to turn operator voice lines on or off, and terrorists here could get downed so you can test how many shots to down instead.

speaking of terrorists, i’ve always wanted a terrorist hunt overhaul. the white masks are only there because siege needed a reason to exist as a counter-terrorist game. i know tom clancy doesn’t want rainbow six to have playable terrorists, but man i really want to play as a bomber. anyways, terrorist overhaul. terrorist hunt would be fully customizable - trap rooms, bombers, which kind of hunt it is, even which kind of white mask appears. you can pick from attacker or defender, and you can use any weapon and gadgets from each side of the ctus, barring the unique weapons. there would be terrorist specialists that fall in the typical attacker/defender roles. one would be more of a defender, reinforcing whatever walls they entered, putting down traps constantly. another would be an attacker, using grenades constantly. i’ve actually thought this one through a lot and i should explain it in another post.

flashbangs are kind of... bad, to put it lightly. not bad bad, but they’re too easy to mess up. they get fucked over if you throw it wrong and it manages to land right in front of a small object. so, to beat that, the area of effect is slightly increased, and it bleeds over from cover. the deafening effect would be doubled in effect and area, or at least increased slightly.

siege is, first and foremost, a tactics-based multiplayer game. buuuuuuuuuuut i wouldn’t mind an overhaul in skin/gun customization. something akin to ghost recon wildland’s, where you can color each part differently. paintjobs would still be there, some restricting where you can paint. magazines, sights, etc, all customizable in color. to be honest, i only want this because i’m a fucking sucker for two-tone guns like far cry and eden’s gate’s rifles. i am a fucking sucker for black/white guns.

this one is more of a pet peeve than an actual problem of siege, but i want there to be a reason for us to use different attachments. as it stands, there’s only 3 attachments that matter: muzzle break, acog, and vertical grip. there’s no real reason for you to use anything other than these 3. so, i’m thinking of adding in slightly differing stats when you’re using different sights. red dot would get increased control and slightly decreased damage dropoff, reflex would get slightly faster ads and a tighter hipfire spread, holographic would get slightly zoomed in and and a marginal decrease in recoil. acog wouldn’t get any of these bonuses besides its massive increase in viewing range. angled grip would have a slightly faster reload, compared to vertical grip’s decreased recoil. admittedly, i’m not all that familiar with muzzle attachments, so i’d just say increase all their effects slightly more? laser sight is almost useless on anything besides pistols and shotguns, so give them a turn on/off button. also 90% of the iron sights in siege are so terrible there’s no reason to use them. give us more iron sight options. ALSO please god give us sight options for pistols. there are already 3 pistols with sights, 1 of them belonging to operators that don’t even use them as a primary gun, and 1 of them is a fucking better acog. if you aren’t going to do that, at least make aiming down with iron sights better, like not having the gun be so close to the face or making the back sight slightly transparent. 

recruits are okay, but i’ve always wanted a way for them to be differentiated from each ctu they were in. fbi gets a standard swat helmet, gign would have a full balaclava instead of a ski mask, gsg9 would get a hoodie over a bulletproof vest, sas would get a gasmask, and spetsnaz would get bigger suits.

the stat overview on guns is passable except it’s arranged in a non-smooth way and mobility as a stat is literally worthless. there is nothing mobility does except say 50 on every gun.

[thisisfubarproductions]

INTERVIEW. 051 - CRAIG WEDREN

How do you approach writing lyrics? Where do you draw inspiration from? Has it changed from STT to your solo work?

My approach to lyric-writing varies depending on the venue. If I'm writing a song for a movie, I often employ more 'traditional' song craft and lyrical clarity.  This was exciting and challenging to me after Shudder To Think, where I took the opposite tack, opting instead for more natural, impressionistic juxtaposition of images that tickled or frightened me, kind of like a David Lynch film, but using words. My upcoming record, 'Adult Desire' is what I call 'Domestic Surrealism' and lyrically (as well as melodically) ranges from the most direct, to the most abstract writing I think I've done.

How did you come up with the end verse of X French Tee Shirt? Did the melody or lyrics come first or both at once? Do those lyrics have any particular meaning to you or is it more a stream of consciousness? 

I wrote X-French Tee Shirt at my dad's apartment on an acoustic guitar (like many of Shudder songs).  I had a digital clock/cassette player next to my teenaged-bed into which I would jot ideas. I knew I wanted to make the simplest twisted song ever, with as few chord changes as possible, and let the vocal melody and rhythmic hiccups give the song character and texture.  For the end verse/outdo/chorus/whatever-it-is, I remember I was thinking vocally about Joni Mitchell -she packs so much challenging and satisfying info into her melodic and syllabic flights. But that was after the melody had evolved -I was like 'Oh -Joni Mitchell!'  the lyrics were stream-of-consciousness, but I worked them to a point where the stream was satisfying to me, emotionally and image-wise. so I couldn't tell you what its 'about' in the literal sense, but it feels right, and somehow meaningful to me intuitively, like seeing shapes and shadows out of the corner of your eye.

I have a gig poster with Foo Fighters, Shudder To Think and Wool on the bill - How did STT go down with Foo Fighters fans? And do you have any specific memories of Wool? They’re an overlooked band I think. 

Shudder To Think generally antagonized Foo Fighters fans, and both we and Foo Fighters LOVED IT.  For Foo Fighters' final encore, I would join them for a very straight, rousing and un-ironic version of 'Lovin Touching Squeezin' by Journey.  Fans HATED it. Except the ones who LOOOOOVED it.  Those were our people.As for Wool, I loved them, and I agree they're overlooked.  I don't have any specific memories, but I always loved SCREAM, and thought Wool was a great evolution from that band. The Stahl bros ROCK.

If you had to choose one standout moment from STT original run what would it be? 

My favorite Shudder To Think era was 'Get Your Goat' into 'Pony Express Record'. That was when my songwriting and singing style really crystallized -no compromises- and when band members were all on the same page.  One unit.  One mission.  Although the lineups are different on those records (Mike Russell on drums, Chris Matthews on guitar for 'Goat';  Adam Wade on drums, Nathan Larson on guitar for 'Pony Express') those records feel like a kind of coalescence of what we were about.

Does Epic Records still have the rights to Pony Express Record? Do you think there’s any chance of a reissue? It’d be cool if you could collaborate with Dischord to reissue the STT albums including the Epic releases similar to what Jawbox did with their major label albums. 

Ian MacKaye and I have been talking about how to re-release some of those records.  I would particularly like to get my hands on the multitracks of Tenspot, Funeral At The Movies, and Get Your Goat and do a little remixing, now that I know what the fuck I'm doing.  Particularly on Tenspot and Get Your Goat, a lot of detail and power -particularly in Chris Matthews' AWESOME guitar playing- is muddy.  So we're trying to track those down.  Fingers Xd.  Ditto Pony Express, but that doesn't necessarily need remixing.

Whats the deal with the pictures of you and Adam Wade in a studio last year? New STT? (C’monnn) 

I wrote a lot of new Shudder parts two Winters ago, and Adam and I started working some of them out, but then life/career/family intervened.  The rest of the band -Stuart, Nathan- were down, and basically said 'send us stuff when you've got the ideas together'!   But aside from me and Adam, we all live in different parts of the world and have very full lives, so its really a logistical question.  I just finished a super-busy school year's worth of film and TV work, plus am finishing my new record, so I'm about to dig back into the new Shudder stuff and figure out the best route forward.  David Wain and I have talked for years about making a movie (a narrative, not a doc) based on Shudder To Think music, so that may be the best forum for it, particularly given Nathan's and my 'day job' scoring films.  Or else just to release singles as we finish the songs.  We'll see.  Suffice to say its a priority in my heart(:

How did you transition from a band situation to scoring films? Did you learn as the work came along or did you have a good understanding of the process before you started?

Growing up, I always had a home studio (first a 4-track, then an 8-track, now a sweet backyard facility called 'Pink Ape Studios') where I would make relatively experimental, atmospheric jams that people said sounded like movie music.  When I got to college a lot of my friends were in film school, and needed music for their student films.  I was the only guy they knew who was like a 'real' musician in an actual band with actual records, so I would sometimes make music for their films or theater pieces.  This group went on to become The State, an when we graduated, Shudder To Think signed to Epic and The State hooked up with MTV.  Again, they needed music, so I occasionally wrote for their skits (not to mention the theme song, which features Nation of Ulysses!).  After Pony Express Record, Shudder To Think started to rupture, and we could see that there was little future for us on a major label, at least if we wanted to stay creative and weird and happy.  We were all pretty big film buffs, and around that time -the end of the '90s- some of our friends were making their first feature films.  Our buddy Jesse Peretz made the film 'First Love Last Rites' for which he asked us to compose songs and score.  It was the perfect escape hatch, and led quickly to Lisa Cholodenko's debut 'High Art' and writing songs for 'Velvet Goldmine' by Todd Haynes.Sadly, that booster shot wasn't enough to keep the band from fraying -Nathan's and my relationship in particular had sadly corroded- and we parted ways.  But Nathan and I continued on our respective paths.

What are your favourite movie scores?

Oh boy -big question.Mica Levy's score for 'Under The Skin';  Bernard Herrmann's 'Vertigo' score; and pretty much anything by Nino Rota and Ennio Morricone come to mind.And the way that David Lynch uses sound design as score is my faaaaavorite thing.

What plans do you have for 2017?

My new album 'Adult Desire' will be out at the end of the Summer, and I'm creating an album-length video accompaniment.  Its melodically very direct but sonically the most experimental thing I've done.  I love it and am very excited!I'm starting a record label called 'Pink Ape Recordings' which will be releasing soundtracks by my composing team, Pink Ape.  I'll be continuing to perform and develop 'Sabbath Sessions' which is (loosely, very loosely) meditation music I create using just my voice and looping pedals.  And I intend to get the new Shudder songs together!  Plus of course continue forays into film and tv music, which is a dream a get to live every day.

#Craig Wedren #Shudder To Think #Dischord Records #Pink Ape

[wejustsurvive]

1-150

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? i actually think its haley XD if not her then sam2. Are you outgoing or shy? im in between. new people make me shy, but i can be outgoing with people im comfortable with3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? meh4. Are you easy to get along with? i think so5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? i can take care of myself thanks6. What kind of people are you attracted to? the wrong kind7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? who knows8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? nope9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? not at all10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? probs emily11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? thank you 12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? 

Clairvoyant, you used to say, dead bird, how does it feel, i think your nose is bleeding.13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? i LOVE IT14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? yes 15. What good thing happened this summer? i camped my life away16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? isnt that what a boyfriend is?17. Do you think there is life on other planets? obv.18. Do you still talk to your first crush? nope19. Do you like bubble baths? nope20. Do you like your neighbors? yeah my neighbor is my grandma, we have tea every morning

21. What are your bad habits? seeing the good in people after they have fucked me up. Always trying to help people.22. Where would you like to travel? all over canada, and greece, and thailand23. Do you have trust issues? yup24. Favorite part of your daily routine? lmao blazing? idk i dont have much of a routine25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? my stomach26. What do you do when you wake up? hate my life27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? darker28. Who are you most comfortable around? sam29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? ummm not really, kyle said we could of worked through our shit when we first broke up but i believe we were made to be friends30. Do you ever want to get married? yes i do, i want my papa to walk me down the isle31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? soooo long32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? Any and all Avengers. JS33. Spell your name with your chin. hnaqy7l4eyu34. Do you play sports? What sports? LMFAO 35. Would you rather live without TV or music? tv36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? yee37. What do you say during awkward silences? well this is fun38. Describe your dream girl/guy? someone willing to go the extra mile just like i am39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? second hand stores40. What do you want to do after high school? die41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? yes i do42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? im v sad and anxiety43. Do you smile at strangers? yes44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? bottom of the ocean45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? my animals46. What are you paranoid about? people hating me and driving with weed47. Have you ever been high? all day er day48. Have you ever been drunk? YUP XD49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? not really, i wish people would actually find out about some things...50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? black lol51. Ever wished you were someone else? every second52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? lol everything on the outside53. Favourite makeup brand? urban decay54. Favourite store? i dont have one55. Favourite blog? not anymore56. Favourite colour? pink57. Favourite food? sushi58. Last thing you ate? some chippies59. First thing you ate this morning? People eat in the morning????60. Ever won a competition? For what? LOL NO61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? nope62. Been arrested? For what? nope63. Ever been in love? is this love?64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? jon browne, caught on video. Was not expecting it65. Are you hungry right now? no66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? i dont have tumblr friends anymore :’(67. Facebook or Twitter? twitter68. Twitter or Tumblr? twitter69. Are you watching tv right now? nope70. Names of your bestfriends?kyle  haley suzie emily71. Craving something? What? ugh72. What colour are your towels? grey72. How many pillows do you sleep with? 273. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? no real animals74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? too many for a adult75. Favourite animal? tigers76. What colour is your underwear? leopard print XD whoda guess77. Chocolate or Vanilla? vanilla78. Favourite ice cream flavour? ????? something fun79. What colour shirt are you wearing?light blue night with cats 80. What colour pants? i never wear pants when im home81. Favourite tv show? supernatural 82. Favourite movie? fuck too many, something avengers83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? mean girls84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? 21 jump street85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? janice86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? the turtles maybe87. First person you talked to today? my Dog and yes hes a person88. Last person you talked to today? ive only talked to my dog XD89. Name a person you hate? My uncle90. Name a person you love? my Aunt Mary91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? YEEE 92. In a fight with someone? Like maybe? ask them, theyre the ones sending anon hate93. How many sweatpants do you have? 2 pairs, need more for work94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? 595. Last movie you watched? ant man and the wasp96. Favourite actress? honestly no clue. i dont pay attention to that stuff97. Favourite actor? if i have a favourite its not for their acting skills so98. Do you tan a lot? nope and nope99. Have any pets? i have a zoo. And honestly im so proud of my family i wish i could introduce everyone i care for to them100. How are you feeling? honestly tumblr, not great. Ive been down the last couple months and i keep trying to get back where i was mentally but i having a hard time. Many things are getting me down and i want to fix them but somethings are out of my control. And i never taught myself how to cope with that101. Do you type fast? pretty fucking fast i work on the computer A LOT

102. Do you regret anything from your past? I regret little things, like not speaking up and telling people how i feel from the start. Its fucked up a lot in my life. But without going through and doing what i did i wouldnt be the compassionate person i am today.103. Can you spell well? sometimes when i dont overthink it104. Do you miss anyone from your past? yes105. Ever been to a bonfire party? YES AND I WANT TO GO TO ANOTHER106. Ever broken someone’s heart? honestly, i have a couple times. Im not proud of it and i wish it could of been different but life happens107. Have you ever been on a horse? yes i love horseys108. What should you be doing? moving on and letting go109. Is something irritating you right now? yeah thats one way of putting it110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? lmao yes111. Do you have trust issues? so many112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Sam, always sam113. What was your childhood nickname? bird114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? yes i wanna go back to alberta115. Do you play the Wii? not anymore116. Are you listening to music right now? i was117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? yes118. Do you like Chinese food? YES119. Favourite book? acheron or Fahrenheit 451120. Are you afraid of the dark? not anymore121. Are you mean? people perceive me as mean sometimes because i like to be honest these days122. Is cheating ever okay? no its not.123. Can you keep white shoes clean? bitch i dont buy white shoes124. Do you believe in love at first sight? hahaha i belive in lust in first site 125. Do you believe in true love? yes126. Are you currently bored? umm not the word i would use so no127. What makes you happy? when my animals are healthy128. Would you change your name? i wanted to when i was young but nah129. What your zodiac sign? gemini130. Do you like subway? yes131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? tell him to cool his jets. Been there done that. Did not work. We are happy as friends and get a long way better132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? honestly probably emily133. Favourite lyrics right now? i love this question

This is your life, there's no way to run from itThe doubt in your brain, or the pain in your stomachI only have the one complaint at the momentDon't paint me black when I used to be golden. 

 134. Can you count to one million? nope, dont have an attention span that long135. Dumbest lie you ever told? i work for telus136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? open for the cats137. How tall are you? 5′5 and a half138. Curly or Straight hair? wavy139. Brunette or Blonde? blonde140. Summer or Winter? summer141. Night or Day? night142. Favourite month? june143. Are you a vegetarian? nope144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? milk chocolate145. Tea or Coffee? tea146. Was today a good day? i just woke up, no147. Mars or Snickers? mars148. What’s your favourite quote? its on my wall

The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift. 

 149. Do you believe in ghosts? yup150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?  the books close to me are all notebooks. page 42 is blank

[riting]

d. Sabela grimes in conversation with Jennie Liu

d. Sabela grimes in conversation with Jennie Liu

I caught d. Sabela grimes in the midst of the Creatrix as they prepare for the World Premiere of ELECTROGYNOUS, “a dynamic testament to the multiple worlds Black people simultaneously inhabit.”

How are rehearsals going?

Rehearsals are going well! Oh man. They are not really rehearsals per se, but more like movement sessions, gatherings.

I was wondering about that. I was at the Grand Performances show, and I was really curious about how improvisation plays into the structure of the work, not only in terms of what you are doing with your bodies and minds physically and conceptually, but also politically. This was actually the last question I was going to ask you, but...

It’s all good, follow your intuition.

Yeah I guess I intuited that improvisation was more to you than just a way to choreograph.

There are several things that are happening. One is that I am in this enduring dialogue with myself about trust. Trusting that I come from these streams of cultural information and these dimensions of knowledge that are operating in street dance communities and Black vernacular dance communities where improvisation plays a key role. Improvisation is at the core of these systems.

You know, if you are doing concert dance you come in contact with different frameworks, different points of view about the utility of improvisation. What improvisation means to people that come from forms where improvisation is not at the core, frames how they think about its utility or value. So I have to trust that I don’t jump into that conversation, but rather look closer and closer and more intimately at how improvisation shows up in the movement practices, cultural practices that I am a part of. And just really trusting it.

And I use that word trust deliberately because there is a lot of anxiety around improvisation. From my times with Puremovement, doing Q+As with the cast as we toured, I had the chance to sit back and observe how people asked Rennie questions. This was a moment in time where hip hop was still very novel in concert dance, so after the show people would wanna ask about improvisation. And through their lens they look at improvisation as being synonymous with unprepared. 

And we come from something that is totally different. You’re not only prepared, more importantly you are ready. For anything. You’re open, you’re sensy, you know? So improvisation is so much about that. From street dance to the cipher, to— as someone that grew up singing gospel— the call and response. When the director decides to extend the song because they are listening and really paying attention and feeling out the vibe of the congregation and we continue to do a certain refrain—it’s so built into the culture. And you have to be ready for that. And there are multiple ways that you get ready for it. And part of what I’m saying is that sometimes you’re not ready. You know what I mean? Sometimes you don’t know what’s gonna come, you can’t predict it. You ready yourself in the moment. And I love that, this approach to improvisation. Its about communicating with the people that I’m collaborating with. In this case all of the performers come from this tradition and have their own take, their own interpretation, their own experiences with it. Which gives what we do in these sessions, aka ‘rehearsals’, in the ‘show’ their own sort of richness.

I’m curious about what you do to get ready. What is the training? Like when you talk about singing in the church when the director wants to do something unrehearsed, you’re drawing as a singer on a common vocabulary and knowledge that you acquire from years of singing in the church. And there are a set of references as a group, that allow you to do that as a group.

Yes, there’s that part of the learning. But what we are talking about extends past technique.

But technique backs it up.

Most definitely.

So the movement practice that you are engaging in with your fellow dancers, your collaborators, if there are rules at play what are those rules? What is the stuff that is not movement, that is also structural, that helps you let go and trust?

Yeah, we’re definitely putting sort of guidelines in place, and some of the guidelines are setting clear and active intention to witness. What is important to me is that since we’re dealing with concepts and intuitions of blackness and gender, I’m really open to the performers points of view. Because I obviously realize we’re not monolithic, and not everyone sees and experiences blackness in the same way and that’s really exciting to me. So one of the things is to really open up the space for people to contemplate that in that in their bodies and in the space, and articulate that with their bodies and their mouths and their gestures.

So I call them movement meditations, but some people call them scores. So for example to generate material one of the performers Jahana came into the space, and I said, “hey there’s someone in the room, someone that’s very dear to you, someone that you can trust someone that you can lean on, someone that you can be vulnerable with. So if that person was in the room with you where they would be?” And she began to lean to her right. It was really beautiful. So I said, “cool so that person is on your right, lets just lean in.” So we started to develop material as if that person was physically there. So she conjures up this image, in this case it was her mother, and she leans on her mom, and really physically leans on this person, and she begins to lean and her body moves and she leans her head, and we go through this sort of series.

And we bring in points of rupture. I’m really into the breaks; hip hop is so much about the breaks. How do we create and experience rupture or a break from this idea, this person? And as she interpreted and translated, we developed this nice little section of ELECTROGYNOUS. And its something that, during the show, what I call the ELECTROYNOUS EXPERIENCE, can kind of fit wherever. Like I haven’t strung everything together yet. And then maybe we can take certain sections and move them sequentially at different times, or maybe its movable vocabulary or ideas that someone else becomes attracted to and wants to put on their body in a different space at a different time. So these are different kinds of guidelines we are playing with.

So you’re describing this present of the absent. That you describe Speculative Fiction at play in your dramaturgy and in your dreaming space, is so cool. You create words, you talk about  process as being a Creatrix, you know? I was listening to NPR this morning to Teri Gross talking about Muhammad Ali and was reminded that there is this great tradition of African American cultural producers creating language. And I’m curious about how that innovation lives  in your movement vocabulary? How you bend and hybridize and otherwise fuck with movement? Because it might not be so clear to people that don’t see a lot of dance and are not reading movement, and are not so fluent in that language.

First of all, going back to Speculative Fiction. The work of Octavia Butler, Samuel Delany, Nalo Hopkinson, listening to the music of Parliament Funkadelic, shoot- Prince, Grace Jones (who plays a big part in these piece), so these people are present. But in this piece I’m playing with this idea of Declarative Realness. So there’s Speculative Fiction, but what I’m saying with ELECTROGYNOUS is that we are not speculating, we’re declaring a type of realness. We’re declaring that there is something real in the visible planes, there is something real and complicated in how complex ideas of gender show up on our bodies. So we are creating physical, mechanical, reproducible movement ideas that speak to this.

So for example in tutting, there are very clean and clear lines and angles, and there is way of presenting that is…  So if there’s a break at my wrist and my palm is down but I’m holding it at a 90 degree angle it doesn’t read as feminine, but if I soften that break and soften the fingers, in many communities—and I’m drawing from Black communities—we read that as a gesture that would point you in the direction of being more feminine, or would question your sexuality. So there’s a tutting section in the piece where I’m purposefully not holding very hard angles, the angles are present but there’s a softening at the joints.  

This is a tangent, but you know Tommy DeFrantz’s idea about ‘corporeal orature’?

Yeah, ‘The Black Beat Made Visible’.

I’m going to have to read that again, but this is making me think about how in dance, there are some bodies that use movement to speak, to communicate—out of necessity, maybe, and there are other cultures—like white post-modernism—that have historically been more interested in bodies evading meaning, to satiate other kinds of needs perhaps. I’m really curious about the ways that cultural identity and background play into form.

So if people argue that the concert stage is historically a white space, and in this country in institutions like universities and colleges there are arrangements between how knowledge is produced in these spaces, and the training, and the pipeline to the concert stage that has excluded so many different dance forms. There are so many people that come through these institutions and are reprogrammed out of the knowledge systems they are most familiar with. You get programmed to see things through a certain frame, because of the power of the institution. You know, “I went to such and such a university and I thought I knew dance and then I went I found out that this is actually what modern dance is,” and you no longer speak your language. There is a real danger in that. You’re colonized in a really interesting way. You just made me think about that with your tangential commentary.

Yeah—getting back on script.

So in this concept of Declarative Realness there is a reality within the overall reality that marginalized groups experience, so in this case there are things that black people experience which they know to be true to them. And what’s really interesting about presenting some of these ideas on stage is its legibility. How legible it is? Part of it is surrendering that it’s not going to be legible. Maybe things that operate as true to us in our real lives don’t make sense from a different point of logic. So when I talk about being electrogynous some people are really easy to point to like a Prince or a Grace Jones or an Octavia Butler. Then there are those people that are less easy….  so have you seen this film Friday? With Ice Cube?

Yeah… yeah I have. Like recently actually.

You’ve seen it recently?

Yeah it was on in a motel and we watched it.

Ok so there’s character named Big Worm.

Which one is that?

Well usually he’s always looking for his money, and he drives a convertible ’61 Impala, and he’s got rollers in his hair. And people that are from LA: you’re not gonna think anything weird about that because you’ve seen really hard core, around your way gangsta type dudes with rollers in their hair, or a perm that’s prettier than their mom’s. You know, and in a really weird way there’s no question about their masculine stance or their way of being in the world, it just makes sense. But then when you pull back and you go well wait a minute, if I were to see someone else do that in a different context I would think something different.

So we’re playing with these different ideas of how this is already happening. So I’m not pointing us in the direction and saying “oh look we could be,” I’m saying “no, we actually already exercise a lot of freedom in blurring what we would consider hard gender lines. It’s weird and awesome and intriguing and it might not transfer to a different regional context outside of LA. There are certain things that are very LA about this too.

d. Sabela grimes’ ELECTROGYNOUS will have its World Premiere from October 13-15 at the Bootleg Theatre as part of the Los Angeles Exchange (LAX) Festival, 5th ed. 

#Riters Talking #Performance Practice #LAXfestival #Bootleg Theater