#mulder and scully babysitting sorta

[baronessblixen]

Adventures in Babysitting

So here it is! The sequel to THIS thing which was supposed to be just a prompt answer. I had several people ask me for a sequel and it still baffles me that you guys basically *want* to read my stuff (instead of me throwing it out there, hoping). If you prefer AO3, the second part will be HERE soon.

Now on with the story (more under the cut cause it’s really long)

The phone rings just as Mulder is about to leave his apartment. He stops, looks at his watch: 8.43 a.m. He and Scully never decided on a time last night, but he's been on the road with her plenty of times. If they don't have anywhere to be, if there's no plane waiting, an autopsy or other extraterrestrial tasks, Scully likes to take her time. Mulder figures arriving just after 9 a.m. at her place should neither be too late, nor too early.

The phone keeps ringing, a nagging sound that makes it impossible to leave. What if it's important? Yet, he doesn't pick it up. Because what if it's Scully? Telling him she's changed her mind and she doesn't want him to come over. He stares at the book in his hand, "I want to be an astronaut", a gift for Hannah. The thought of not seeing her, of Scully pushing him away, is unbearable and so he just stands there and waits. Finally, his answering machine springs to life. Mulder braces himself, just in case. If it really is Scully, and who else would call him on a Saturday morning?, then he is just going to pretend he never got the message. It's sleazy and selfish, but he feels no shame.

"Hello Fox," Mulder frowns upon hearing the voice on his machine and he is glad he didn't pick up the phone for entirely different reasons than fear, "It's Diana. There's this highly interesting case I found and I thought maybe we could spend the weekend looking it over. Spend some time together. I guess you're out on a run so just give me a call when you're back." Mulder listens to the beep, then he quickly walks over to the answering machine, pushes a button and is on his way.

"Message deleted." Chimes just as he closes the door behind him.

This time Mulder doesn't have to wait long for the door to open. Neither is he greeted by a skeptical look.

"Mulder!" Hannah screeches, jumping up and down, and finally right into his arms. "Aunt Dana said you'd be back and you are!" He marvels at how light the girl feels. Hugging her, Scully comes into view and she watches them. Mulder tries to decipher her expression with no luck and Hannah distracts him with her constant, happy chattering about space ships, aliens and pancakes.

"Hannah, why don't you let Mulder come inside first?" Her voice is gentle as her lips curl upwards into a smile. At first he thinks the smile is merely for Hannah, but she still wears it when their eyes find each other. He can barely look away and it's only when the small girl tugs at his sleeve that he manages to avert his eyes.

"Is that for me?" She glances at the book that's peeking out of his jacket.

"Maybe." Mulder attempts to sound mysterious and she stares up at him, her big eyes pleading. The world seems to stop moving for a moment; it's just standing still. He no longer sees Hannah in front of him. It's Emily. The girl that never was supposed to be. The same eyes, slightly different features, a little older. But it's her. It's Emily.  

"Is it a gift for Aunty Dana?" The girl's voice jolts him back to reality; she's Hannah again, grabbing at the colorful edge of the book.

"No, it's for you," he clears his throat and takes it out, his hand shaking slightly, "I thought you might like the story." Hannah holds the book like it’s made of glass.

“It’s an astronaut.” She tells Mulder as if he didn’t know, amazement seeping into her voice. He nods.

“Can you read what it says?” She nods solemnly, concentrates on the big letters.

“I want to be an astronaut,” she reads looking up at Mulder to make sure she got it right and he smiles at her reassuringly, “I want to be an astronaut too!” She squeals.

“That’s why I got it for you.” Her mouth forms an ‘oh’ but no words come out.

“What do you say, Hannah?”

“Thank you, Mulder.” Comes the automatic reply, the girl sitting down right there in front of him, opening the book.

“Sorry,” Mulder directs at Scully, who glances lovingly at Hannah, now lost in another world, “I should have given it to her after breakfast.”

“She couldn't wait to see you again.” Scully walks back into the kitchen and he follows her. He couldn't wait to get here again either to the two of them. He keeps that information to himself, though. Scully, without even asking, hands him a cup of coffee. He thanks her silently and takes a sip. It’s perfect; just the way he always drinks it. Why he ever expected anything else, he doesn’t know. They might have drifted apart these last few months, but it doesn’t change any of this. Of course she knows how he takes his coffee; he knows how she drinks hers. These things, insignificant and unimportant, they refuse to change. While all the rest crumbles and falls apart around them.

“Hannah and I made muffins and pancakes.”

“How long have you two been awake?” Mulder marvels, staring at the food on the table. To his greatest delight, Scully giggles. She really doesn’t do that often enough. At least not when he's around.

“I guess Hannah got too excited. She woke me up shortly after 6 a.m. So, are you hungry?” Mulder nods, eyeing the muffins.

“Hannah?” The girl doesn’t react. “Hannah, come on it’s time for breakfast.”

“I had cereal.” A small voice, unseen, lets her know.

“Hannah…” a first warning, a big sigh from a small girl, and she finally shuffles into the kitchen. She clutches the book in her hands and sits down.

“You like it?” Mulder points at the book as Scully puts two pancakes on Hannah’s plate.

“I really want to be an astronaut now,” Hannah, despite her protests, immediately digs into her pancakes, “I have to tell my daddy when I see him. He needs to know that aliens are gray.” She is quiet while she chews and swallows. Mulder almost forgets to eat, too immersed in just watching the child. Scully catches him and there’s that expression again, the one he can't read. Unable to tear his eyes away from her he wonders how they could have changed like this in such a short time. He thinks of Diana, her phone call, and just like he deleted it from his machine, he pushes the thought from his mind. Hannah tugs at his sleeve, unaware of the tension between the two adults.

"They really are gray, right?"

"Yes, they really are." Mulder assures her and pushes a pancake back onto her plate as it threatens to fall off. "Make sure you don't lose your UFOs there, Captain." Hannah giggles and stuffs it into her mouth.

"Do you have a picture? Of the aliens?" Hannah chews quickly, swallows even faster. Across the table, Scully chuckles softly.

"I don't think I do," Mulder eyes his partner and returns the soft smile. "But I'll make sure to check for you."

"Bummer." Hannah sighs. "Mulder, do you like the zoo?" It amazes him that this girl can jump from topic to topic in a single breath. She's chewing another pancake and eyes him curiously.

"I guess?" He looks to Scully for direction.

"Hannah wants to go to the zoo today." The girl nods so enthusiastically that Mulder is afraid she might bounce off the chair.

"Do you like it? Do you want to come with us? We don't have a zoo where I live. Mulder, you want to go to the zoo, right?" There's no way he can say no to this girl and he wonders if there's anyone in the Scully family who can. Mouth slightly agape, uncertain what the right answer is, he turns to Scully again, who gives a short, almost shy nod.

"I love the zoo, Hannah." Her grin, as well as Scully's soft smile that she tries to hide behind her coffee cup is everything.

*

Hannah is clinging to his hand on one side, to Scully's on the other, dragging them along to see, as she put it 'all the cute animals'. The feeling that accompanies Mulder is a strange one. Occasionally he glances at Scully, just to gauge her reaction, but she is so good at this, at being a mother. How could he have ever doubted it? Hannah's spewing questions at her and Scully answers them, all of them (his tiny, beautiful science nerd) in a gentle voice, and he feels like even he's learning new things. Mulder is about to ask her how she knows all of this anyway when Hannah spots a kiosk selling ice cream. She lets go off their hands and sprints towards the colorful stall where several children are waiting impatiently.

"I want that one." Hannah points to something so brightly red that even Mulder feels queasy. Scully however doesn't blink, doesn't say a word and gets her money out. Mulder stands there among all of these tiny people demanding ice cream and by chance his eyes meet another man's. A small child is in his arms, getting drops of ice cream all over his shirt. He stares at him, seemingly content despite the sticky child, despite his ruined shirt. The father gives him a short nod as if this was a club and Mulder had just been accepted before he takes the hand of a slightly taller boy and walks off.

"Mulder, look. Do you want to try it?" Hannah is holding her ice cream up as far as her arm allows.

"No, thank you. You eat it." She just shrugs and attacks her cone. As they continue on, Mulder is certain he sees more families than he sees animals. He's never paid much attention to families; he used to right after Samantha disappeared to see if anyone else's was broken as his was. They all looked liked this, though. Strolling through life holding hands, smiling at nothing and everything, not a care in the world. He knows it's not true, just another illusion, and right now they – he, Scully and Hannah – are an illusion, too. People who pass them by will think they're a family because all they see is the grin on Hannah's ice cream streaked face, the way Scully tries to clean that same face, shaking her head in amusement, and a father who keeps his eyes on his family, ready to jump in, protect them at all costs. If only they knew the truth. How Scully lost the only daughter she'll ever have last year. After knowing her a mere few days. The way Mulder would move heaven, earth and a few other planets to give her this; not the illusion, no, the real thing.

"Mulder?" It's Scully. She's standing before him and Hannah is not next to her. Shaking his head slightly, to get the dark thoughts out again, he looks around to search for the girl.

"She's over there," Scully points to the playground Mulder hasn't even noticed before, "I guess we'll be here a while. I asked you if you wanted to sit over there but you seem to have spaced out." He nods, scratching his chin. Without a word, he puts his hand on the small of her back and leads her over the empty bench. They have a perfect view of the playground, the children and Hannah, who seems to have made a friend already. Mulder catches Scully's wistful smile when he turns to her.

"She's so much like Charlie. He always made friends wherever we went. It just came… easily to him, I guess. It still does." Mulder watches her silently and tries to picture the mysterious Charlie who he still hasn't met.

"She's a great kid."

"Oh yeah. Yeah, she is." They both watch the little girl that's not theirs, side by side, quietly. Their thighs touch despite there not being a reason to; the bench is big enough, yet neither of them scoots away, both content with the warmth the other provides.

"Do you see her often? You've never mentioned her." Mulder knows he shouldn't ask. She's made it clear yesterday that she likes to keep part of her life to herself. He hasn't asked but Hannah must have been born around the time he and Scully were first partnered, maybe shortly after. Yet she's never mentioned her baby niece to him. The thought is a heavy weight inside his stomach.

"I don't. Charlie has a habit of not staying in contact with any of us. He tends to just show up or not."

"You didn't know he was coming, did you?" Scully has her hands neatly folded in her lap, her eyes directed forward, to where Hannah is. He understands her need to keep an eye on her all the time.

"He gave me a two days warning," she sighs, sounds absent-minded, "He's my brother. It's not like I could have said no." But there is more to the story, Mulder can tell. Another glance at Hannah, her reddish hair flying after her as she runs behind her new friend as if unable to keep up with the rest of her. Mulder doesn't get a chance to inquire more because to his greatest surprise, Scully opens up all by herself.

"He and Christine, his wife, they've been trying…"

"Trying?"

"To have another child. They've been trying for years." Scully is still not looking at him as the words tumble from her mouth. Her voice takes on this special nuance he hears whenever she's giving him autopsy details. Emotional detachment, he thinks and swallows hard, no longer certain he wants to hear it. Yet, at the same time he knows he needs to hear it. Scully trusts him with his. Despite their resent distance, she still trusts him. He concentrates on her, his eyes on her face as it's turned away from him.  

"They found a specialist here in Washington. That's why they're here. I told them to make a weekend of it. Just in case…" In case of bad news.  

"Hannah doesn't know, does she?"

"No, they told her they're meeting an old friend. She's a child, Mulder. A child who's been asking for a little brother or sister for years. They decided to look into it after Matty was born." After Emily died, Mulder thinks, but keeps quiet. He knows she's thinking it, too.  

"They called me last night," he hears the slight scratch in her voice and considers putting his arm around her shoulders; one year ago he wouldn't have thought twice about it. But he's not sure his comfort is welcome now; yesterday she was ready to push him away, more or less sent him away, and right now he couldn't ask for more than sitting here with her, sharing her pain. This time, though, she doesn't go on.

"Was it bad news?" Mulder tries, his arm twitching with the intent to move despite his reservations; the need to be there for her threatens to overwhelm him.

"No," she says and it's almost a whisper, almost lost among the squealing voices all around them, "no, it was good news." He hears the tears in her voice, understands, and stops worrying about the right way to do this. There is only way for him and so he puts his arm around her and against all odds, she leans into him. He breathes a kiss against her hair, single strands tickling his cheek, and closes his eyes.

"Have you… I know what I said but - have you considered getting a second opinion on your ova? Maybe this specialist can-"

"Mulder, no." But she doesn't push him away, stays right where she is, nestled into his side.

"You should, you know. Get a second opinion, I mean. Just imagine if it's-"

"What if it's not, Mulder? What if it's bad news for me?"

"You usually don't shy away from a challenge, Scully."

"Even if, and that's a very big if, Mulder… with our work and my lack of, you know, even if there was a chance that I could – I wouldn't even know how." She's talking herself in circles and Mulder chuckles which earns him a glare.

"I'm sorry, Scully, but there are ways. There are always ways. You have options." Him being one of these options, if she wants him.

"Thank you, Mulder. Really, I mean it. Thank you. I'll… think about it. Consider my options." Her eyes meet his and this time her expression is loud, it's clear; she means these words, understands what he's trying to tell her, and she is grateful. Mulder can't tear his gaze away from her and neither can she. He is reminded of that moment in his hallway. Does she remember? Does she remember his words, what almost happened before the bee stung her? Mulder knows he needs to try. If she's sending him away today he at least has this; this memory of her and Hannah, the illusion of being a family, of being someone important.

"I owe you everything," he tries and her eyes widen; she relaxes as he takes a shaky breath, "and you owe me nothing."

"No new lines, Mulder?" She smirks up at him, slyly. But in an instant it changes and there's a challenge in her eyes. His hand wanders from her shoulder to her neck. Scully gasps as his cool fingers trace along her neckline.

"Just checking," he whispers and gives her a moment to stop this, to stop him and when she doesn't, he finishes what they started that one summer day, so long ago. "No bees this time." He mumbles against her lips before he captures them. She moans into his mouth, opening up, and it's like an invitation he cannot pass up on.

"What are you doing?" No bees, no, but a child this time. Mulder lets go of Scully's lips, immediately misses the closeness and her taste, but Hannah stares up at them. There's dirt on her cheeks, a twig in her hair, and a huge grin on her face.

"I saw you kissing." She laughs joyfully, clapping her hands together. "Mulder, are you my new uncle now? You are, right? I knew Aunt Dana liked you!" She takes his big hand into her tiny one, smearing sand and who knows what on his fingers. He doesn't answer her, doesn't need to considering both he and Scully are blushing furiously in front of a child. He can't speak for Scully, and never would, but if it were up to him, he'd never leave this family again. Call me a Scully, he thinks; I'd change my name in a heartbeat. As Scully wipes away some of the crust on Hannah's face, much to the girl's disdain, Mulder winks at her. The girl laughs loudly and he is convinced it's the sound of hope soaring into the blue sky.

#the sequel thing #mulder and scully babysitting sorta #msr #msr fanfic #xf fanfic #txf fanfic #i don't really know what to think about it #it sounded so much better in my head #my writing #my fic