#muenster and monster cookie

[the-cookies-of-darkness]

Ultra: yep- thats my life for ya- insanity- really- its almost like i live in a comicbook- *meanwhile Gamblin just nods!* Gamblin: we're good in that regard! man i could use some rest- its been insanity- these past couple of days-

Muenster chuckles a little and gets ready to help.

Salak sighs a bit.

Nightshade knows what Salak is thinking. "They literally just showed up, I think we'd both would like to, ya'know, know this new guy first? Witch, you could likely just go home. Wither Rose, IDK where your home even is. Robot guy, we don't know if we can trust you yet..."

#cookie run #other people's ocs #jax #muenster and monster cookie #salak cookie: the naga #nightshade cookie: the ''traitor'' ghost

[thebsbakery]

Edible Heart Attack

I’m pretty sure I haven’t posted anything in literal months, but I can assure you that I’m still cooking X’D. Or...well, sort of. There’s been a lovely issue involving the state of Illinois and my ability to be able to afford food. So posting here is going to be reeeeally sporadic..but there, I hope. At least whenever I make something special.

Anyway, here it is. The latest adventure I’ve had in the kitchen--or, in this case, my friend’s kitchen. This recipe, like my Yuletide cookies, isn’t mine. It’s a recipe that I found on YouTube a while ago, that I’ve been meaning to try. And I’ve finally done it.

Here’s where the idea came from: https://youtu.be/HfiRQ7jV3i8

In the video, it’s called a bacon-potato-cheddar tart. I and my friends, including one @gamerdragon13​, call it an edible heart attack.

And here’s how it went for me. What I used: 

Two pounds of bacon. Yes, you heard it. Two. Pounds. Already this recipe is the best thing ever.

Four cups of cheese. Or, four 8-oz blocks...there’s only three here because I forgot how much cheese this thing calls for.

Five or six potatos, depending on size. Be sure to give them a good scrub before slicing.

Pepper--I prefer fresh-ground, but you can use pre-ground--thyme, minced garlic, minced onion, and rosemary. Or just switch out those for whatever herbs and spices you like.

The first step, of course, is to make sure the thing doesn’t stick to your pan.

You do this by lining the pan with parchment paper. He shows how to do this in the video, but I’m gonna explain it here anyway because there’s some dense people out there. You take a piece of parchment paper, fold it into a thin triangle, then hold the tip in the center of the pan. Trim off what hangs over, and you’ll have a perfectly-sized circle of parchment paper for your pan.

Start laying your bacon in the pan. Protip; don’t have every piece at the middle of the pan. Otherwise you’ll have a big, fat, soggy blob of bacon in the center. It’s a much better idea to stagger your bacon pieces around the pan. And, you’ll get better tart coverage.

Keep doing this until your pan is covered. Literally. With bacon. Why do this, you ask? You’ll find out, trust me. I’m an expert.Okay, maybe not an expert. But I’m pretty good in the kitchen so I think it’s just as good.

Then add your pepper, thyme, garlic, onion, rosemary, and/or whatever spices you’re using. Protip when you’re working with dried herbs like thyme and rosemary; crush them up in your hand as you’re sprinkling them in. It kind of releases the oils better than if you tossed them in without crushing.

Also, this damn peppermill. It sucks. L’il fucker kept on coming apart whenever I was trying to grind pepper into the tart.

Your first layer: thinly sliced potatoes. You’re going to want to slice your potatoes to between 1/8th and 1/4th of an inch thick. A mandoline is a really good way to do that.

Just, for the love of god...don’t be like my dad. Use the hand guard that comes with your mandoline. Unless you like slices of your fingers in your food. 

Then add a layer of shredded cheese. Since I was a cup short of cheddar, I got a block of muenster and grated it up and mixed it in with the cheese.

Then add another dose of herbs and spices....

...and lather, rinse, repeat until you’ve used up either all of your potatoes or all of your cheese. Then wrap it all up.

Yes. The bacon is the crust. Take your bacon slices and wrap them up over the top, adding some more thyme and rosemary and pepper on top if you like before popping it into the oven.

Mmm, yisss. Piece of advice, since this is going to produce a ton of grease, have a couple of cookie sheets in the oven with it. One covered in foil for the pan to set on, and one underneath just in case the first one misses any dribbles. Better safe than sorry, especially where this monster is concerned.

Protip: if you’ve got some sort of weight, like a smaller pan lid or an oven weight of some kind, put it on top. Since bacon tends to shrivel up and shrink as you cook it, it’ll keep the bacon on top of the tart from crinkling up and curling back from the top.

And forgive picture quality; was trying to take this one-hnded without getting burned by the oven.

Oh, yeah. And be prepared to drain that sucker at least twice while it’s baking. With two pounds of bacon, it’s going to produce a lot of grease. This is only after the first draining, but by the time that bugger was out of the oven there was over a cup of bacon grease. A cup. Das a lotta grease.

Two and a half hours. That’s how long it takes for this thing to get baked. If you’re looking for a quick, easy, weeknight meal...this is not it. It’s not that it’s hard to make, so much as the fact thatit’s gotta be in the oven for two and a half hours.

Getting it out of the pan, though, doesn’t take nearly so long.

Take a cookie sheet lined with with tinfoil or a large platter, put it over the pan. Then, carefully, flip them both at the same time and your bacon-crusted tart should pop out with no problems. Then, you’re ready to cut in.

That. Is. Beautiful. It was almos ttoo gorgeous to eat, all those potatoes and cheese wrapped in two pounds of bacon...it was a tragedty. But it ws a delicious tragedy. Also, paper plates was a bad plan for this thing. It was a mess.

Nedless to say, there were no leftovers. None of this bitch went home with anybody, unless you count what was in our stomachs. If you want to make this at home, it’s hardly a problem to add or switch out ingredients for what you wish; replace some or all of the potatoes with sweet ‘taters and carrots or other thinly-sliceable veggies, use different cheeses or a mix of cheeses, different herbs...have fun. I call this a sucessful recipe, and I expect to be making atagin in some incarnation in the future. Possibly with other additions and subs, for experimentation of course

Basically, this ain’t a recipe that you make more than once or twice a year. the nickname of “Edible Heart Attack” is well-earned.

[the-cookies-of-darkness]

Gamblin: guess we're adding breaking'n entering to those growing list of interuniversal charges? *Gamblin looks tired- meanwhile* Ultra: NO but its on FIRE so people WILL be if i don't start helping! come on- *Ultra's rushing to the door- *

"As long as the interuniversal cops don't come in and try to arrest us for 'harboring criminals'." Salak hisses lightly

Muenster stretches. "Today has already been a long day, so why not, why wouldn't a freaking helicopter crash into a childrens hospital after we fought an alternate version of somebody we've only known for like 3 hours..."

#cookie run #other people's ocs #jax #salak cookie: the naga #muenster and monster cookie

[the-cookies-of-darkness]

*meanwhile Ultra gets a call on the phone! answering it! before suddenly screaming and hanging up!* Ultra: HOLY COW A CHOPPER FLEW INTO A CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL!?

"Oh gosh..." Muenster says "Hopefully nobody was hurt."

#cookie run #other people's ocs #jax #muenster and monster cookie

[the-cookies-of-darkness]

Ultra: thats the simplified version! it JUST barely skirts the line between legal'n not legal- plus! REALLY good lawyers- i've tried to shut'em down! but! without VERY hard evidence! i'm *beep* outta luck!

"Yikes." Muenster says

#cookie run #other people's ocs #jax #muenster and monster cookie

[the-cookies-of-darkness]

Ultra: its a scam- they test yer limits and constantly set the goal higher, and then when ya fail, charges ya for what ya eaten putting ya in debt! plus! their jerky's like dried wood in terms of taste! i honestly FORGOT it was today! i HATE the company that runs it!

"Sounds illegal." Muenster says

#cookie run #other people's ocs #jax #muenster and monster cookie

[the-cookies-of-darkness]

Ultra: no they WERE in my pocket must've gotten thrown out while i was being thrown about- WAIT SECOND! oh no- the yearly jerky eating contest was today! i think i know who's being chased by the cops-

"There was one and you didn't tell me when I asked for some???" Monster snapped back into control

#cookie run #other people's ocs #jax #muenster and monster cookie

[the-cookies-of-darkness]

Ultra: okay- the back window it is- *Ultra leads'em to the back and props the window'n climbs through! after a minute- he unlocks the backdoor!* got it! now i need new keys-

"Is there a chance that those two and that... giant cake.... that were here earlier took your keys?" Muenster asks

#cookie run #other people's ocs #jax #muenster and monster cookie

[the-cookies-of-darkness]

Ultra: yep- also have ya seen my keys? i swear i had'em on me- *pats his pockets! *

(*OOC war flashbacks*)

"Why would I have seen them? We were just in a different world, and we, as in Monster and I, were more focused on getting back here." Muenster asks back.

#cookie run #other people's ocs #jax #muenster and monster cookie

[the-cookies-of-darkness]

Ultra: yeah i'm friends with (reformed) mass murders, and some loons, i married two- all are assumed dead cause of Xaster- so when it comes to joking about law breaking- i've LOST the ability to TELL-

".....faaaaiiirr..." Muenster says not really knowing how else to react

#cookie run #other people's ocs #jax #muenster and monster cookie

[the-cookies-of-darkness]

Ultra: yeah people are weird- and i'm HALF tempted to assume the people being chased know me-

"Ok, that's fair." Muenster says. "I'll just have to note that it's hard for you to sense sarcasm about these things."

As she briefly stares off into space, you can safely assume she's telling the same to Monster and making it abundantly clear

#cookie run #other people's ocs #jax #muenster and monster cookie

[the-cookies-of-darkness]

*Ultra has that one spongebob caveman face, for like a SPLIT second!* Ultra: kid can't ya have normal hobbies? like legos or somethin?

"Fun in the sarcastic way!" Muenster says defensively. "Though I do know of people who find watching police chases entertaining."

#cookie run #other people's ocs #jax #muenster and monster cookie

[the-cookies-of-darkness]

Ultra: i have no doubt ya would! *cue several police choppers flying over head!* huh? guess someone's running from the police-

"That's always 'fun'" Muenster says

#cookie run #other people's ocs #jax #muenster and monster cookie

[the-cookies-of-darkness]

Ultra: yeah! he's the embodiment of the emotion/emotions that fuel it! without him! the rings're glorified paperweights! ya two don't hate yerself to an unhealthy amount? are SUPER depressed? or are pure evil right? then ultraviolet rings are useless to ya pretty much! if umbrax wasn't giving ya power you'd both BARELY be able to fly! its the right emotion ya need to determine yer rings!

"I would know how to do that." Muenster says

#cookie run #other people's ocs #jax #muenster and monster cookie

[the-cookies-of-darkness]

Ultra: you know i can just give ya two rings? ya two made some decent lanterns! picked it up quickly! would even allow monster to have their "own body" or at least a very limited shell they can control! it'd be like playing a video game!

Muenster shrugs "Some guy, who I'm assuming is the Umbrax that Blacklight mentioned, said we'd be using him like a battery other than our own feelings."

#cookie run #other people's ocs #jax #muenster and monster cookie

[the-cookies-of-darkness]

*Ultra opens a portal to head home! and steps through it! breathing in the fresh air! wonder when the two'll follow?* (BOI is Ultra'n the two siblings gonna be in for a sight? XD! )

Monster stretches. "Have control back now Muenster. I'm satisfied for the day."

"Thanks..." Muenster says, kinda relieved but kinda disappointed at the same time..?

#cookie run #other people's ocs #jax #muenster and monster cookie