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jess-oh · 6 years

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Reflection

aaaaaaaaahhhh i did too much today and didnt have enough time to dedicate to my schoolwork!!! Ahhhh!!!!

I FORSURE need to do my moodboards for Publication Design tomorrow and post my articles for negotiation skills and developing a marketing plan. And then after that... i want to do as much as I can. That includes reading for GD III, gathering information online before class on Wednesday, reading and annotating the physical article for developing a marketing plan and so on. I really hope work isn’t too busy tomorrow so I can just get everything done but even if it is, I’m going to just try and stay in the computer lab at school until I finish everything! I just gotta focus and get everything done at once so that I’m prepared for the week! It’s not that I’ve been procrastinating but I’ve been really busy with a lot of other things! I essentially have no time over the weekends anymore so Monday will be my “safe” day from now on until the end of October! Probably! EEEEEE! I do want to stay up and get some of this stuff done but I also know that it’s better to get a good night’s rest and be on time for work! Ido want to be more committed this year and do a better job at faithfully serving my customers with a smile and a good attitude! Haha. I have high hopes for the year so far!

I woke up at Esther’s this morning around 7am and 8:30am. Around 8:30am, I started reading 1 Samuel a bit again before preparing for the day by brushing my teeth and changing my clothes. I decided to wear my jumpsuit! I was kinda worried that it’d be awkward spending so much time with Esther but it wasn’t! I didn’t ask overly intrusive questions and just stayed surface level but we were still able to learn more about each other through that! I learned about her parents&siblings, her views on pets, her apartment, and so on. Very lighthearted and casual! And she bought me an iced blonde americano today! So kind and generous! It was actually a little bit awkward bc she insisted that she would pay but I confessed that I was just going to my backpack to take out my glasses so that I could see the menu. From her tone and offering, it seemed like she was willing to pay anyway and maybe I shouldn’t have assumed it. I felt kinda bad. Anyway, Johnathan picked us up and then we went to go get Daniel Kwon and had a pretty good time in the car ride to church! It did fall silent at times but overall, it was pretty fun! I only wish we could’ve talked more with Daniel bc he was pretty quiet the whole ride after. He does usually keep to himself anyway but still. I felt bad. But we listened to Johnathan’s experience with drum corps and I shared about my internship and we joked about the Bible quiz and discussed all the great parts of Crazy Rich Asians and so on so forth! I was actually really happy to finally have a positive conversation about that movie bc I feel like I’ve just been constantly trying to defend it from the backlash and criticism but I could finally openly discuss it with other people who enjoyed it and it was honestly so great! At church, I signed up to be a mentor for Kidsland and then hurried into service! I sat towards the front behind Johnathan, Esther, and Daniel and was soon joined by Amanda and Angela. I’m really happy Angela and I are starting to get along better this year! I don’t feel so afraid of her constant judgment anymore and I think she’s been accepting me more too. I’m glad! Amanda and I had a great time together as per usual during service and whilst eating together. I’m really blessed to have her in my life and I think we’re going to grow really deep in our relationship with Christ together. Thank you for sending her into my life, God! Even just eating with everyone and welcoming in someone we met over the summer felt so great! Just being able to casually share life together with them all! I was really sarcastic and enthusiastic and unapologetically me and it felt so great! Oh back to the service, the sermon today was sooooo good! P. William challenged our faith and how without God, we are nothing. We should constantly be seeking God like a treasure and be so willing to give up everything for Him! We need to surrender all that we are at His feet but far too often we do so but then want to take it back and solve our issues by our own strength and that’s just not how it works! And that kinda felt like the first “sign” today. I should always keep my eyes locked on Him bc as much as I may study, it’s worth nothing if He is not at the center of my heart. The worship was really good too and my hands and arms just kinda lifted by themselves but I wasn’t thinking about how I sounded or how I looked. I was just so happy and blessed to be serving God! Honestly, a small part of me hoped that Jason saw me but I did my best to just cast out those thoughts and focus on God and I think I did pretty well! Now fast forward to the Bible competition! We didn’t do as poorly as I thought! There were definitely things I could have studied more but my guesses were sometimes right and overall, we did pretty well! We were third place until the very end when we bet it all and lost it all LOL. But we did much better than I thought we’d do! Especially considering how little we all studied! But I do think our study session from last night really helped us retain some more information! Like the story about God and how many times He called Samuel! Esther originally thought it was three but I remembered it being four and bc of that conversation, I had confidence that it was definitely four bc we even checked the Bible for evidence! P. Josh was the pointkeeper and his pride in us was really encouraging! Just by how big he would write our score on the board or whenever he smiled at our joy in winning. It was really nice! I made mistakes at times but by trusting and working together, it actually all turned our pretty well! I wish it could just stay like this but I know Johnny and Christine are returning soon and I am excited to serve with them but I’m also kinda afraid that it’ll ruin our current dynamics! I’ve been having such a great time with everyone and I wish it could just stay like that forever.

After that, Jason graciously drove us all downtown and dropped Amanda, Angela, and I off at the Arc since Angela moved there! Amanda took a bus straight to the mission conference thing she invited me to and I went to 623 to see if it was open so that I could work on some homework! It was closed! D:

Then I took the red line and 15 bus home and immediately peed! I had to so bad! I’m so glad the restroom is so close to the front door! But unfortunately by that time, I only had about 10-15min to rest and I wanted to get a lot of homework done today! Thinking back on it, I’m a little disappointed bc I passed by macapartments earlier on my way to the conference and could’ve easily picked up my textbook! No wait. I remember now. I was going to go but they close at 5pm on Sundays and it was past that time. Riiiiight. But yeah! So I watched a couple videos, tried to quickly figure out how to resize the resource guide, and then I left for the conference! Googlemaps told me it would take me about 23min to walk there but it actually took about 30min, even with me rushing! But then again, I got confused and kinda lost at one point so that makes sense. I did debate on just bailing out bc my decision to attend was so last minute too in favor of doing homework but ultimately, I told Amanda that I would go so I went. And it was so good! Grace Kim, a missionary that recently went to Turkey, shared about her testimony and why missions are so important and her own journey getting there! And as interesting as that was, I was just really surprised by the community after! Everyone was so genuinely welcoming and I was glad to meet them all! I’m excited to go back again next week and see them all again! I want to grow in my faith with them! I know that I’m committed to investing and serving at Lakeview but the people I met today were the people I imagine when I think of church. They were diverse and welcoming and so kind! I really got along with this girl named Amy and we shared our testimonies and how we got to Vision School and just hearing how passionate she was for the Lord now in comparison with how she felt before was so amazing and interesting to learn about! She’s really the one that made me want to join Vision School and maybe even serve as a missionary with her! I really think we can grow deep in our relationship with Christ together! And I am so excited to see her again next week! I should’ve gotten her contact info today but I’m sure I’ll see her again! But the conference was kinda “sign” two! Especially when Grace, the speaker, said our biggest blessing should be Jesus and we should want Him to come now! If we want Him to come later, the things of this world have become idols. My biggest concern in going on a one year mission trip to a different country was the fact that I would be so close to getting my degree and would rather finish that and not mess up the credits that I have already earned and delay the trip for later. But we can’t procrastinate on God! I got to talk to Amanda during the break about her heart in going to Egypt for a year and she shared how she heard from God that when she is turned away from Him, everyone that she would have met and reached out to are also turned away and they all start walking instead towards death. And yeah, she could go to the same place and just delay the trip but there would still be people that she could have reached but never did because of her priorities. And that thought scared her more than anything so she decided to go for those people that she could reach! And it was really interesting to hear about her faith in that! I was also touched by how Grace said Muslims never question Islam and are blind followers and are taught to never question anything and are blind followers as a result. But because we do question things and have a deeper understanding of Christianity bc it isnt something we were just forced to know, we can show them the right way! And the fact that someone else finally told us to question Christianity to find more answers was so reassuring and nice to hear! I think I can dedicate my Sunday nights every week to these lectures and I’m excited to be spending more time with Amanda and maybe even going on a short term or long term mission trip! Who knows! Regardless, I’m excited.

Thank you God for blessing me with this blessed day! I am so grateful for all that you are and all you have done. Thank you.

#TEAMATCHA#

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