#metaphor for chronic fatigue. metaphor for chronic pain. metaphor for stigmatized mental illnesses.

[sergeantsporks]

[slaps the top of Phoenix’s curse] This bad boy can fit so many metaphors in it.

#metaphor for chronic fatigue. metaphor for chronic pain. metaphor for stigmatized mental illnesses. #Allegory for the way Belos changed Phoenix and how it won’t go away but he chooses what to do with that change and doesn’t have to hurt ppl #is there anything it can’t do. #toh #gilded family au #golden guard oc #phoenix

[river2brook]

Coming out as a Transwoman: Answers to Frequent Questions

You may find that you have a bunch of questions now. So to help you with those here is a list of some of the more frequently asked questions I have received which I coupled with my responses. However, do keep in mind that I am only speaking about my own experience.

I never once saw you do anything stereotypical of an LGBTQ person. How do you know?

Actually, I did. Unfortunatly actions like these are stigmatized. I was pressured into either conforming as one of my male peers or else face hardship.  I was therefore socialized and pressured into presenting as a man. I became so good at masking and repressing these thoughts that I ended up suffering from the symptoms of repressed childhood trauma as an adult.  

Okay, so you didn’t know this because you repressed it before; why not keep doing that?

This discovery came about after years of growth and a deep desire to address a multitude of chronic issues. Thus, to chose to repress what I know can recall about myself will only exaserbate other issues. At best such efforts may allow me to survive, but I certainly could not thrive. Also, recall that I had already once repressed this knowledge. I was only able to repress these memories in that context: I was driven by a desire to avoid any more death threats or sexual assaults. We weaponize ignorance when we try to ignore inconvenient truths. Actions like these can embolden the oppressors and assailants. Finally, by repressing this truth I had to struggle with a whole host of chronic symptoms for much of my life. Some of these chronic symptoms included:

sleep issues (insomnia), fatigue, or nightmares

low self-esteem

Confusion/problems with concentration and memory

Unexplained pain and stomach distress

It’s Difficult To Control Your Emotions 

Strong Reactions To Sudden Situations, Specific People, and Places 

Frequently Emotionally Exhausted and Anxious

Emotion dysregulation, fear of abandondoment, and anger management issues

Thus, I am now becoming healthy with each passing day. I will speak to this more in a bit but for now, consider these two articles for more information:

Wait, does this mean you’ve changed your sexuality?

Fair question, but again no. Being trans is not about who someone is attracted to per say. Being trans is actually about externalizing my internal lifelong identity, an identity that was previously oppressed by others, and suppressed to the point of memory loss. 

So if being trans is not a choice, then help me understand what made you trans. Did the culture and politics influence you? Was this just something you chose to become.

No. No. And also No. Allow me to clarify: I didn’t choose this, rather I discovered that I am trans. The following quote may be helpful: “Theories of both psychological and biological causality have been forwarded and it is quite likely there are different causes for different individuals. Lately, strong research suggests that an incorrect amount of miss-timed secretion of male hormone during stages of fetal development may create a transgendered individual - whether male or female. Biologically, nature will produce a female unless male androgens are supplied at the right times and in the right amounts. There are physiological and mental gray areas between male and female "absolutes". Additionally, there are some theories arguing a genetic model of causality.”

Not sure how to ask this question, so allow me to use a house as a metaphor: you helped me understand your thinking by unpacking the attic, and I think I understand your heart on the ground floor. However, what about…you know…

Please don’t ask. No two trans people have the same experience. Here, I align with what you and I were both likely raised to believe: that it is innapropriate to ask or make a comment about these topics. 

How do you know this is healthy or safe?

I have relied upon a team of doctors and therapists to ensure I am following the WPATH standards of care for transgender individuals. Anecdotally, I have also been keeping track of my transition with a variety of metrics. Here is a handy comparison of just some of the healthy changes I have experianced during this journey: 

Before coming out: negative blood work results in several key areas. 

Today: all the negative results are now in a normal/expected range.

Before coming out: I carried a great deal of extra body weight.

Today: Now that I am living in the body that I want, I have successfully lost over 40 pounds with little effort.  

Before coming out: I could never address/fix my minor depression, anxiety, difficulty concentrating (compounded with ADHD) and avoidance of social situations.

Today: Symptoms related to these issues are at 1/2 their strength and fading!

#mtf trans #mtf pride #trans is valid #coming out #lgbtqia