#me:makes a post about how discourse makes me extremely uncomfortable and tries to write it so it wont piss anyone off

[afoolforatook]

Farley addresses shipping discourse for literally the first time in their life, because I care about you guys and hate seeing negativity within the community.

This is a post I’m really hesitant to make, regarding some ship discourse I’ve seen recently. And I am only making it cause it literally has been making me feel ill thinking about it so much and I just need to get it out.

It’s really disheartening to see, especially at the end of this week of such positivity, people I follow and really enjoy following (enjoy their content and 90% of what they say) being outright negative regarding other ships. And I don’t mean from like a anti-multishipping point, but calling other ships/shippers problematic.

Especially when those comments are put on their content, that I want to share, but don’t feel comfortable sharing the comment.

Like I’m 100% for speaking your mind on your own blog, and for saying what you want to, attached to your own work. And I totally understand not liking certain ships, and even thinking certain ships are problematic. Most of the posts I’m referring to here I actually agree with, as far as whether or not I support the ship/want to see that content. I just can’t stand the negativity.

It’s one thing if it’s a ship that is obviously problematic: an adult and a minor, a survivor and their abuser, incest (though I still hate seeing outright negativity thrown around over fictional ships, but I’m extremely and possibly overly adverse to negativity in most circumstances, so it may be my issue).

But when it comes to consenting adult ships that might have some grey areas, can we please just not act like anyone who disagrees with us is morally corrupt?? Don’t like what you don’t like, block what you need to block, unfollow who you need to unfollow, but don’t just be needlessly antagonistic? 

Make a post about why you feel that way, but does it have to be added onto art/writing that isn’t directly about that issue? And, while I haven’t actually seen anyone do this in this case I know people do it sometimes, don’t post it in the tag, and especially not during a ship week. (hell I’ve seen enough posts shitting on fair gamers in the fg tag to know people still do this, even if the exact people I’ve seen haven’t) 

Like I hate even posting this because, like I said, some of this I’m seeing from people I follow, maybe even some mutuals, and I know they aren’t, and would never try to say they were, bad people, and I’m not trying to attack them. And I worry this will piss people off. And i’m not even talking about how people handle CRWBY interactions, because there is plenty there that makes me uncomfortable or that I don’t agree with how people handle things, but I still support them. I’m just talking about how we treat each other, how we handle differences within our own community. 

But just. Is it that hard or wrong to ask people to be cognizant that just because someone ships something you have an issue with, it doesn’t mean they’re a bad person or deserve to be shamed?

I think it’s especially bothering me because I’ve seen people I follow on both sides of a ship, which means they’re both also fair gamers, and I hate the idea that people who are part of such a hurt and supportive community could then also hurt each other over another ship.

I feel like I want to be more specific but I really truly don’t want to call anyone out, and really, though I have specific examples I’ve seen recently, it’s not just one ship or one person or one kind of post. It’s just in general.

I know I am hyper sensitive to discourse and negativity. I know that means that I do not always have good or reasonable reactions to valid discourse. But I really try to see every side, to be open minded and understanding.

But we curate what we interact with. If you don’t like something, if something triggers you or just bothers you enough that you don’t want to have to see it, curate your experience. Block, unfollow, blacklist tags. If someone you like posts some ship content you don’t like, ask them to tag it if they don’t already.

And maybe I’m being overly sensitive here and unreasonable about certain things. I can acknowledge that that’s not an insane possibility. But in that case, know that if I like something of yours but don’t share it, and it has some kind of negative comment attached, that’s probably why. Even if I might agree with that negative comment to an extent. You have every right to say it, and to add it to your own work, but as much as I may like your work, I don’t necessarily want to spread that sentiment/atmosphere.

The last thing I want is to alienate people within an already vulnerable and alienated community.

Fairgame is the first thing that has made me want to be active within a fandom community in years. And I’m very thankful for how positive and receptive the community has been towards me. And I know people are still hurt and angry and opinionated and have every right to be.

But seeing negativity and (in my opinion) needless shipping discourse really bothers me and makes me hesitant to be as involved. It makes me paranoid about who to follow or not follow because I worry about accidentally choosing sides/promoting discourse. It makes me worry that people I follow or who follow me will get upset with me over something I ship. 

It makes me even second guess myself and worry that maybe I am problematic for liking ironqrow or hummingbird, or the idea that Qrow is Ruby’s dad. (or if I reblog something that I don’t necessarily ship but like the art/content) All of which I have specific circumstances and feelings and opinions around and don’t just blanket support, and I hate the idea of someone writing me off just because they see the surface fact that I like it.

I get why people don’t like those ships or theories, but having different opinions on them doesn’t mean we’re diametrically opposed. It’s like that post recently about how liking theories or ships doesn’t mean you necessarily want them to be canon, or think that the current canon dynamic is healthy, but that the potential for interesting story is there.

I don’t know if this is even coherent enough or makes a clear point. I just. We’re all having a really hard time right now, on so many different fronts. And the least we can do is try our best to be kind to each other, even when we have little differences in opinion (again I’m talking about specific, fandom related, grey area, stuff. Not that bullshit political kind of narrative, y’all know that).

Give each other the benefit of the doubt as much as you can. Don’t write someone off just because they support a ship you don’t. Or if you need to write them off for that, do so, but just do that then, don’t be antagonistic to someone who just simply posts something you don’t like. (Again this is different than confronting someone who is overly antagonistic to others, or blatantly problematic, which even then is a hard line to walk between standing up against something wrong and being mean. I’m also not saying I’ve seen anyone specifically doing this, but with what I have seen I’m sure it’s happening).

Especially within a community that has so many minors within it. That’s something I’m constantly aware of: that there’s a good chance the people I see posting negative content or who could feel targeted by such content, are kids. And especially right now, kids who are under an immense amount of stress and need a place to get away, where they don’t have to worry about constantly fielding discourse from within a community they look for support in.

I don’t know whether to put this in the fair game tag or not. If I do, it’s because everything I’ve seen has been from people within the fair game community.

And if I’m wrong about something here please let me know, I’m fine to talk about things (though also know that I might get overwhelmed easily at any perceived conflict and may take my time to reply). But please be conscious of how you do so, be polite. I’m genuinely not writing this towards any one person or about one ship, the only reason I’m posting it at all is specifically because I’ve seen it over multiple blogs and multiple topics.

#rant #really nervous about this #but I feel like it's important #guys just be kind to each other #you can be opinionated and angry and hurt and strong in your opinion and still be kind #hard to believe I'm addressing shipping discourse in 2020 at 24 #when I avoided all shipping discourse throughout highschool #which i feel like is proof that I say it because I really care about all of you #if I didn't I'd just stay quiet or leave #me:makes a post about how discourse makes me extremely uncomfortable and tries to write it so it wont piss anyone off #also me: automatically regrets making it and feels sick thinking i should delete it for fear of pissing people off