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luxaofhesperides · 3 years

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if my grief is violent enough ; a borijihye fic.

15k words. one-shot. not a happy story. be warned for major character death, blood and injury, trauma, and hurt/no comfort. first 1k words will be posted here, you can read the rest on ao3 bc i am not formatting 15k words onto a tumblr post.

. . .

The air feels strange. Na Bori can’t explain why or in what way, just that it is. It feels like the world is holding its breath, tense and ready to burst at any moment. Goosebumps raise on her arms and she can’t help but shiver as she locks the door behind her and sets out for school.

Nothing’s strange or out of place when she looks around. Everything is the same as it was yesterday. Na Bori grips her bag a little harder as she walks down the roads, following the stream of students heading towards Daepong Girl’s High School.

It’s probably nothing. Just Na Bori being paranoid for no reason.

She pushes it to the back of her mind and ignores it in favor of seeking out Lee Jihye, who is either at school very early or arriving late. She never knows, and Lee Jihye usually forgets to check her phone during the morning so messaging is not an option. Thankfully, Na Bori spots Lee Jihye leaning against the wall beside the front door and quickly makes her way over, waving when Lee Jihye spots her and lights up.

“Did you read the update last night?” is the first thing she asks as soon as Na Bori’s in hearing range. “I’m going insane, I have so many theories.”

“Oh, I haven’t read it yet. I fell asleep pretty quickly after I got home.”

“Boooooriiiii,” Lee Jihye whines, slumping dramatically against her, making Na Bori stumble at the sudden weight. “Read it during lunch! I need to talk about it.”

Na Bori laughs and pushes Lee Jihye off of her. “Fine, fine. You’ll have to feed me, though, if you want me to focus on the new update.”

“You know I’d never say no to making sure you don’t starve!”

Lee Jihye’s familiar bright smile loosens the knot of tension in her chest. Despite how on edge she still feels, if Lee Jihye is smiling, then everything is fine. Na Bori pushes the unnerving feeling away, leaning into Lee Jihye as if her presence could physically ward off negative feelings. Which it does, really, because there has rarely been a time where Na Bori could remain upset with Lee Jihye. Something about her always sets her at ease, like everything is alright in the world and whatever hurts she holds are easily soothed by Lee Jihye’s warm presence.

They walk into the school, Lee Jihye retelling an episode of a ghost show she watched the night before and Na Bori laughing at her bad attempts to reenact the scenes. It’s the same as always; students walking down halls, chatter filling the air, teachers setting up their lesson plans. The normalcy of it all is reassuring.

“The victim ended up yelling at the exorcist for trying to hurt the ghost, because it was just a little kid. And tried to help it out instead even though it might have been a demon, and that segment ended with the host saying in that really bad dramatic sound effects voice, ‘Kindness too has consequences. You can’t save everyone.’” Lee Jihye throws her hands up, frustrated, and says, “The result doesn’t really matter, though! Sure you can’t save everyone, but you can at least try. Anyways, the person being haunted was in the right for trying to help the ghost kid, and everyone who disagrees is an idiot.”

Na Bori nods, trying to bite back a grin. That doesn’t stop the smile from curling her lips upwards, trembling with restrained laughter. She always loves how opinionated Lee Jihye got about things, especially the webcomics they read together or evening talk shows.

There are times when she wishes she could feel as much and as strongly as Lee Jihye, but her heart always sticks with just a few things and holds onto them for a long time.

She still has the stuffed boar doll Lee Jihye got her six years ago. It has a place of honor on Na Bori’s spare pillow.

“What would you do if you were haunted?” Lee Jihye asks as she sits on Na Bori’s desk, ignoring her own a row over.

Na Bori sits down, placing her bag on the floor besides her desk. She doesn’t believe in ghosts, not really, but sometimes it’s fun to think that there’s more to this world than she can see. “I don’t know,” she admits, “Try to get it to leave? Or at least make sure it doesn’t break anything.”

“You’d be fine with a ghost roommate?”

She shrugs. “As long as the ghost left me alone, sure.”

“What if I was the ghost?” Lee Jihye leans forward, grinning down at her. “Would you kick me out for being a bad roommate because I’m haunting you?”

“You know I wouldn’t,” Na Bori rolls her eyes, forcing away the flush rising in her cheeks. “I’d be fine with you as my roommate no matter what. Preferably alive.”

“Aww, you’re so sweet to me!” Lee Jihye coos, throwing her arms around Na Bori’s shoulders and rocking them back and forth hard, just to be obnoxious.

She puts on a scowl, shoving Lee Jihye away but putting no strength behind it. “You make me wonder why I bother.”

“I know you don’t mean that.”

I really don’t, Na Bori thinks. She doesn’t say it though, afraid of crossing that line. She doesn’t reply at all, just slumps forward so her face is smooshed against Lee Jihye’s shoulder. The thought of Lee Jihye as a ghost, of Lee Jihye dead makes her chest knot up, heavy and suffocating. Of course she doesn’t want Lee Jihye dead, but somehow today the mere thought, even as a joke, is unbearable.

It feels more like a warning, a bad omen, than a thoughtless joke.

“Hey.” Lee Jihye’s voice gentles and she smooths a hand over Na Bori’s hair. “You alright?”

Na Bori nods, but can’t actually speak for a moment. Her breath catches in her throat and stays there, choking her. She feels terrible, like the world is ending and she’s the only one who knows it.

Lee Jihye is fine. She’s sitting in front of her, holding her, and she’s fine. She’s alive.

She wishes she knew why she’s so scared.

With careful hands, Lee Jihye pulls Na Bori’s head back and tilts her chin up to see her properly. “Hey,” she says again, “Talk to me. Why’d you get so quiet?”

“Mm,” Na Bori manages, and sighs again. “I don’t know. I’m not feeling great right now. Like, anxious? I just feel like something terrible is going to happen.”

“Don’t worry, even if something bad does happen, I’ll be here to protect you!”

“Alright crybaby,” Na Bori says, a small smile on her face as Lee Jihye gasps in mock outrage. “I’ll trust you to keep me safe, then.”

The teacher calls for everyone to get to their seats then, and Lee Jihye hops off Na Bori’s desk. She lingers for a moment, letting her hand rest on one of Na Bori’s, a final, quiet reassurance, and then she leaves, dodging between desks and students to get to her own seat.

The warmth of that touch stays, and Na Bori clings to it, let it keep her grounded. Class starts, and she can’t hear anything that’s being said over the pounding of her heart and the rising feeling that something terrible is going to happen.

It’s fine, she thinks firmly, Nothing’s happening. I’m just at school. Lee Jihye is here.

She glances over and sees Lee Jihye already looking at her. Her brow is furrowed, clearly concerned, but when Na Bori meets her gaze, she smiles and makes a heart out of her fingers, hidden beneath the desk in her lap.

That’s right. Everything will be alright because Lee Jihye is here.

[continue reading here]

#orv #omniscient reader's viewpoint #lee jihye #na bori #orv fic #borijihye #fic #my writing

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