#me 🧲 the worst tv shows ever put on cable

[scarecrowgoat]

yeah yeah riverdale has witches and time travel now, but remember season three? here are some things that happened on it

betty sees her two baby nephews float over a bonfire and starts convulsing.

archie gets sent to prison, fights in a clandestine boxing ring for rich people to enjoy, escapes to canada and gets mauled by a bear, which starts his emo arc.

everyone gets into a dnd knock off called griffins and gargoyles, and when you get to the end of it, you "ascend" (die).

ethel muggs gets so brainwashed by the game she gets sent to a convent that also worships the gargoyle king and she ships herself with him (and jughead (in which she tells betty they're going to be a ship)).

all girls in town experience seizures when talking about the gargoyle king. this is later explained to be due to the city's water being contaminated.

penny peabody (actual name) who in last season betrayed the serpents and got her tattoo removed with a knife, comes back to try and kill archie, but jughead's 11 year old sister shoots her with a slingshot.

they do heathers the musical for some reason and veronica DOESN'T play veronica, she plays heather mcnamara. also jughead doesn't play anyone on the musical but he sings with everyone else in the last song.

kevin keller, this show's kurt glee, joins a cult because he wants to hook up with cute guys and gets his kidney stolen.

toni and cheryl get kicked out of the serpents so cheryl gives toni her own sapphic archer gang.

cheryl's cunty mom kills betty's serial killer dad in front of her and nothing comes out of it.

veronica, who hates her dad and wants her mom to leave his ass, gets extremely distraught when they're about to get a divorce.

also she manages a diner.

and a secret bar underneath it.

evelyn evernever, who introduced herself as edgar evernever's daughter, him being the leader of a cult; is actually a 30-something woman who has a condition that keeps her looking like a teenager and steals people's organs to keep herself healthy.

also edgar isn't his father, he's his husband

betty tries to prevent her mother to sell their house by burning it. the house ends up fine but still wtf

the cliffhanger of this season had archie, betty and veronica burning their clothes and jughead's beanie, and it's implied they killed him. this actually wasn't planned, as cole sprouse didn't want to film a scene half naked in the middle of a cold forest at 3 am so the writers improvised.

they had no plans for this cliffhanger btw, they intended to write it on the go for next season.

#riverdale cringe #i would tag it as riverdale but i dont wanna get hate #me 🧲 the worst tv shows ever put on cable #all of these read as hunger games simulator prompts