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karij · 5 years

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OCtober Writing Prompts Day 10 - In something they wouldn’t normally wear.

A memory from 10 years ago, when Karrigan was 23 years old.

“Are you sure it’s not a little too… revealing?”

Ma, Cadi, and Eleanore all turn and look at me simultaneously. They look at each-other and blink once, twice in unison, then look at me incredulously. Ma opens her mouth, closes it, and then finally replies.

“Karrigan, dearest. I will admit it’s a bit… daring. But I think 30 minutes before the ceremony might not be quite the right time to change your wardrobe.”

I purse my lips. She’s right I just didn’t realize how exposed I would feel now that I put it on. My arms and shoulders are bare and the front is cut deeper than I had realized. And the back… my shoulder blades are sticking out. And without sleeves my arms look so thin, like twigs. And it’s not like I have much to show from that deep neck but well… there’s the problem isn’t it.

“You’re right ma. I just… I was really hoping to put on some more weight by now.” I fold my arms across my chest. “I look like a scarecrow. And everybody’s going to see it.”

“The healer did say that you might have difficulty filling back out, dear.” Ma sits down facing towards me, her smile patient but her eyes tired. This has been hard on her too. “It’s to be expected with your illness, especially after how much Peony took out of you.”

“Besides!” Cadi steps closer and puts her arm around me. “Who cares about the dress. You look beautiful Karri. You’d look beautiful in a flour sack.”

“That’s easy for you to say.” My voice is petulant. I hate it, but I can’t keep that tone out of my voice. I’ve never been good at hiding that I’m jealous of my sisters, even jealous of my mother. They’re all gorgeous. Fully grown, womanly. I look like a child playing dress-up next to them.

“I mean it Karri.” Cadi steps behind me. “Stop looking at us, look at yourself!” She turns me towards a mirror. Ma bought it years back. It’s polished steel, but nearly as tall as I am. I look down but she takes my chin and guides my gaze upwards. I see myself. For better or worse.

The first thing I see is what I expected. I’m thin. And not in the good way. The delivery took a lot out of me but the downtime afterwards was worse. I was so tired and so sick I could hardly move or even keep food down. I wasted away in less than two months. Years of work, gone.

My wrists and elbows stick out, and though I can’t see them in my reflection I’m sure my ankles do as well. My shoulders are narrow and boney. So are my hips. The back of my dress hides my stomach but shows the sides of my ribs. They stick out. Not enough to be concerning but enough to be noticeable. The deep neck makes my chest look flat as a washboard. Which it is. I look like I could be carried away by a strong wind. Honestly, I’m not sure I couldn’t be. I look weak.

This isn’t helping. I try to turn away again but Cadi holds me still. She didn’t use to be able to do that. I struggle for a moment but quickly give up. I’m too weak to break free.

“Shhhh.” She wraps her arms around my shoulders in a hug. “Look up. Higher.”

I don’t want to, but she’s not going to let me go until I’ve convinced her that I feel better. I look above my skinny, boney little neck and see my face. Its thinner than I’m used to but after almost an hour of attention from ma and my sisters it looks almost… full? My cheeks have filled out, they’re not hollows like they were a few weeks ago. The same goes for my eyes. They’re still tired and, right now, blurry with tears, but they shine through. Bright and pretty and green, like emeralds. I’ve always liked my eyes. My hair looks nice also. I usually try to force it into waves but not today. It falls in rich red curls around my ears, wild and loose. My ears poke through, long and pointed and slender. Beautiful.

“I… I guess I look okay.”

“You look more than okay. You look lovely. But… maybe there is something missing.”

I panic. My eyes go wide. “Something’s missing? What is it?” What did I forget? Oh Mother, what did I miss? My breathing starts to speed up. Shallow, rapid breaths. “What did I miss?”

“Oh, I, no. No, Karri, you didn’t miss anything.” She squeezes me tighter, “It’s ok. Calm down.”

I look up at her, cross. “Well why would you say something was missing if it wasn’t missing?”

“I was trying to lead into something. I’m sorry.”

“... It’s okay. I’m sorry I snapped.”

“It’s alright.” Cadi turns to look at Eleanore, “Is Nia here yet?”

“Yeah, she got here a few minutes ago.”

I perk up. “Nia’s here? Nia Gardner?”

Eleanore blushes. Why is she blushing? “Um, y-yeah. She’s bringing something for me. Well, its for you but um, I asked her to bring it, I mean.”

I blink slowly, then look up at Cadi “Okay, what’s she blushing about?”

Cadi smirks. “Nia dear! Do come in.”

The door opens and Nia steps through. She’s a lightfoot and lovely as always, and wearing yellow. LOTS of yellow. Is she seeing somebody? She closes the door, then turns to Eleanore and puts her arms around her waist. Then she kisses her. Passionately. VERY passionately.

Oh. I see.

Nia pulls away after a long moment, smirking. Eleanore is covering her face and turning a very interesting shade of pink. Nia giggles. “Morning Elli.” Eleanore squeaks back a tiny, barely audible ‘good morning’ and Nia pats her cheek and turns towards me.

“Delivery for Mrs. Goodbarrel.” She steps forwards, pulling something from her bag. A circle of flowers. Daisies. Fresh and bright. She sets it on my head with a smile.

“You look beautiful Karri. Alton is going to go crazy.”

I look down, shuffling my feet. “Thank you.”

“Of course dear. Now I’m off. Good luck!.”

She gives me a quick hug then moves to the door, pecking Eleanore on the lips on her way out and sending her blushing once again. Mother waves her a cheery goodbye, then goes to Eleanore and helps her into a chair to calm down. Some things never change.

Cadi looks over. “Ma, are you ready?”

She looks at me and tilts her head. “Hmmmm. I think there might be one more thing.” She walks over to me and pulls something bright out of her pocket. She lifts my hair and reaches behind my neck, latching something tight. “There we are.”

I look down. Dangling just above the hollow of my chest is a silver locket on a chain. Bright and shiny, engraved with a simple image of a daisy. I reach down and lift it, flipping it open, and gasp. Painted inside is… us. It’s my family. Me and Alton and Marigold and Peony, the loves of my life. The detail is amazing especially for such a small image. There they are, against my heart. Always and forever. I look up at ma, tears welling up in my eyes.

“Mama, thank you.” I throw my arms around her, holding her as tight as I can. “Thank you.”

“I love you baby.”

“I love you too mama.”

She holds me for a long moment. Then pulls back, smiling at me through tears of her own.

“Now lets dry those tears. It’s almost time.”

I nod and she wipes my eyes with a handkerchief before turning to the bed where the last piece is waiting. She lifts it up, holding it to her chest for a moment and then turning back to me. Her shawl. My shawl. My mother’s shawl. Light blue, faded and worn. But it’s ours. She pulls it snugly around my shoulders and pins it closed with my silver ring and pin.

I don’t feel so exposed anymore. I’m warm and safe. I’m home.

Ma smiles at me, making one last adjustment to our shawl before stepping back.

“Are you ready Karri?”

“I’m ready.” and I am.

“Then let’s go.”

And she takes me by the arm and leads me to the door. And we walk out together, arm in arm.

#OCtober #Karrigan Goodbarrel #writing prompts #slightly ties into the day 9 prompt #which was something your oc cant live without #aka the locket #thought this worked better though

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