#maybe if i wasnt working full time homework would be easier to finish lol

[orcelito]

my fatal flaw . one of them. is that. i have a tendency. to trust my brain too much. but have too low of a work ethic. so im like “if i do well on the exams, then homework won’t be as important to complete”. and sometimes, this turns out okay because i do well on the exams. but if i do Not do well on the exams. it fucks me over so much

me sitting on an 84% for the first exam being like “This will surely let me pass the class” and looking at my homework assignment that draws from a prior homework assignment so Essentially i would have to do twice the work. due tomorrow night

and im just thinking to myself. “is it even worth it?”

#speculation nation #see the idea of getting back on track for the semester is to start doing assignments again #but my brain still does not want it #and im just looking at this shit like 'i have to be up at 8 am for pt tomorrow morning and then work like 6.5 hours' #it would mean no more free time tonight and no more free time tomorrow night #and so im like. 36 points. is that worth it? #ive been keeping up with reading quizzes and i did well with the exam. so if homework and projects suffer it's not the worst #my schooling career is basically the constant question of 'if you dont do your homework can you pass the class?' #if ur smart then oftentimes yes! #im good at taking exams. i also HATE putting my free time into shit #i do hate the idea of just a few hours of time deciding a large portion of the grades. sometimes the largest portions of the grades. #it's this kind of thing that got me a C in my calc class despite doing most of the homework. doing well on all the quizzes. #and getting a 100% on the first exam. which was fucking AMAZING btw im still so proud of that #but i did Balls on the 2nd exam and final so i got a C. i was sooo angry #did pass tho. i sure did fucking pass. #but yea idk my brain is just constantly a hell hole and my body isnt much better. and im constantly overworked #maybe if i wasnt working full time homework would be easier to finish lol #but yea when faced with the next 2 days being very little free time im just like. '36 points is Not worth it' #the slacker me continues. now i may attempt to write some of my gay fanfiction which owns MUCH more of my heart and dedication #my priorities might not be exactly right. but it's what makes me happy so whateverr